We have our ideal self, the self we want out of life – the motivational core that focuses our hopes, aspirations, dreams, purpose, and calling.
It is our source of positive affect that helps the drive for intentional change. This is the self we want to be.
How many of us are close to our ideal self?
We have our actual self or real self and there is our ought self.
Our ought self is our understanding of what others want us to be and do. Actual self is who we are and what we do. The actual self over time, right from childhood, changes.
What happens when our actual self doesn’t match the ideal self? That is when the process of reflection and retrospection begins.
New Year is a formal step to grow, develop and continue the path of learning and an improvement on our-self versus where we were.Yes, this should be a continuous process but I think New Year is a good time to take stock. A time to ask ourselves how close are we to our ideal self. No, this is not about New Year Resolutions.
So how do we get there? 5 key questions to ask
1. What are you grateful for in life?
Be compassionate to yourself. You don’t need to be perfect. Be grateful for what you have achieved and where you are. Cut yourself some slack and strive towards excellence.
2. What do you need to change ?
Is the change that you feel you need or because others around you want you to change ? How enthused are you to make this change ? How much do you believe in this change ? What is the worst that can happen if you don’t change?
The path of Intentional change is not a linear one. It is about making small improvements and something that is sustainable.
3. Whose support and encouragement do you need?
Whom can you rely on to help you on this path of development and growth? How can you surround yourself with positive people and those who believe in you ?
4. How can you change your thoughts and emotions to be more aware?
Your thoughts dominate your emotions and words. How can you control your thoughts and encourage yourself to be positive on a day-to-day basis?
How can you face fear? What is the worst that can happen? Once you have determined that, ask yourself is there a way to improve from there and how can you get there?
Emotional Intelligence is one of the toughest in times of challenge and adversities. What is the thought or word that will inspire you ?
5. What are you passionate about ? What are you driven to do and how do you get there?
In answering this, it is important to let go. Let go of people who have hurt you, things that quite didn’t work the way you wanted. Forget the excess baggage and de-clutter your mind. Your mind is not a dumping ground. Take a break and lead from your heart.
Our brains are geared for rewards along the way. Reflect, renew and reward yourself. The journey of getting to your ideal self should not be an ordeal but a path of learning, and growing. It should not be filled with regrets and not feel like a burden on your shoulder.