He is a charming person but when you meet him for the first time and several times thereafter, what you see is that his body language is one of indifference, his facial expressions is one of dis-interest and he rarely looks you in the eye whilst conversing with you. He has a sarcastic comment on almost everything mentioned by somebody else. How do you see the charm in such a person?
His name is David and I was assigned to him as his coach. I had a chemistry meeting with him and he chose me as his coach. I felt uncomfortable with My chemistry meeting with him, yet decided to accept the assignment because something in me told me that what we see in David may not be his real self. David had self-confidence issues. He was one of the seniors in his office but had missed the role of heading up the business twice because of the way people perceived him and the way he came across in his body language and tone of voice.
Self-confidence is something most of us can enhance in many areas. We may be self-confident in the way we communicate in our office amongst our colleagues, in front of clients and at home but may be lacking the self-confidence, if we have to address a crowd of 200 people extempore. David’s issue with self-confidence was one of not trusting himself and falling victim to his fears and doubts. His current boss saw the potential in David and assigned him a coach.
What contributes to your self-confidence?
Self Confidence is about self-awareness and self-respect. Your self-awareness and self-respect contributes to your self-talk.
1. Self-Awareness – this is the conscious awareness of your own character, your strengths, your traits, and your skills. What is your identity ? It comes from our ability to accept ourselves while focusing on our positive side. This is how our self-confidence is positively influenced. It is easy to give power to our negative thoughts and weakness, however they do more damage than good. It is about identifying who you are and no matter what the situation what are you capable of ?
2. Self-Respect – how do you look at yourself with dignity and respect in your down and out moments ? Make an inventory of your achievements, the way you overcame the last challenging moment in your life and about every aspect in your life that makes you who you are. It is about trusting yourself and going with your instinct and looking back at every learning you had in your adverse moments and how you reached your goal.
3. Self-Talk – self-awareness + self-respect = self-talk. Self-talk is positive, backed by the evidence from self-awareness and self-respect.
Let your self-talk be one where you can make continuous improvements in your growth areas and where you encourage yourself to get to where you want to go. Click To Tweet
It is not about giving in to your fears and doubts and having them empower you but in finding your strength in every mode of life to do what you want to do and in all that be who you are or want to be.
David had self-confidence issues and he tried to mask that by his indifference and tone. Without his realization, his mask had become his biggest inhibitor to success.
Self-confidence is not about being arrogant or aggressive. It is about enabling yourself to be your best with humility. Click To Tweet
How are you enhancing your self-confidence?
For Coaching, Speaking or Training let’s connect.