The Human Touch to Leadership

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In today’s day and age we are bombarded by more stimuli than ever before. This stimuli can be from various sources like social media, emails, chats, demands from the real world and from every possible source. Amidst this stimuli, we are expected to be thoughtful and yet give responses in nano seconds or a fraction thereof. In this environment of keeping up to demands, not feeling left out or as if we missed the boat, we create feelings of vacuum and stress within ourselves and amongst others.

Now let’s take the situation of Emily who is either looking to diversify her business or seeking to change her job or starting up a new business venture. She is excited, enthusiastic, is eager to make connections and engages with different people from various walks of life. She meets various types of personalities in this journey.

Who are you among these personalities?

  1. You are candid and give a straight answer “my apologies, but I don’t see any common synergies here for the moment. I am unable to help you with your venture.”
  2. You enquire about what the person does, what made them change careers, what was the key motivation to start the new business venture?. You meet this person at regular intervals and keep the conversation going. This person keeps giving you more and more information on what they have done, what are their plans for future growth. You keep the hope alive in this person but at no point in time have you honored your word in giving this person an opportunity.
  3. You meet Emily once and show interest in what she has to offer or in her business venture and agree with her that you and she should keep the conversation going. You have seen her email, her phone messages but have not responded to her. You are overwhelmed with many commitments in the form of emails, meetings, chats, new business ventures. You keep making new promises and yet have not had the courtesy to acknowledge the emails or the messages.
  4. You see a synergy but don’t have an immediate offer to make. You meet this person and have several conversations over a period of time. You then communicate either in the affirmative or negative.

Do any of these personalities sound familiar to you ?

What do you think Emily is going through when she meets you either in 2 or 3, above. Possibly a feeling of rejection, break of trust, impatience, failing to see how you can be a good leader. Why? Research on Brain Science reveals that, The fear circuit is the most developed and fastest neuronal circuit we can activate both consciously and unconsciously in another person by our actions, words, behavior, body language and other forms of communication or non communication. Once these neurons in the brain are activated, we have lost the goodwill for the other person. As a leader, is this the impression you want to leave with everyone who approaches or meets you ?

What is a key leadership skill : The Human Touch Makes A Difference

1. People are an essential part of your life – no matter who the person is, how you treat people makes a difference. Do you choose to vary your attitude depending on the title and position of the person?  Do you realize that there is a person behind that email or chat? Why not make a simple acknowledgement of “Thank you, seen it, will respond in three days”. Give a time frame that you are able to live up to. If you are unclear about something, why not ask questions? Or if you think you over committed, recognize that mistake and acknowledge it. Silence is not the response expected of a leader.

2. Walking your talk - do you act on your words or just spin the wheel ? Connections can be made only if you engage and treat people with respect and courtesy.  People are the lifeblood of your business. Your word is your personal brand. In what particular ways are you results-oriented in your day-to-day actions?

3. Creating trust and rapport - relationships are built on trust and honesty. By giving false hope to someone you discredit yourself. Would you like to be treated the same way?  How do you go about your relationships?  You can grow and develop your relationships and business only if you create trust and collaborate and communicate. Creating and maintaining long-lasting relationships is not a one way street.

You may have the best of intentions but if your actions are not consistent with your word or intention, you create an environment of dissatisfaction and misunderstanding. As a leader you need to create and live transparency and collaborate with people within and outside your own organization.

Summary:

Do you know what you want ? 

How do you strike the right balance among your various commitments to which you have given your word to? 

How do you deal with people who you perceive to be more successful than you are?

How do you deal with people who are in need?

What does success mean to you ?

What are your main sources of creative input or ideas from others?

How do you add the human touch?

Related References : Brain Blog

On This Father’s Day, a small note of “Thank you”

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Lalita Raman

Lalita Raman

I’ve had the great fortune of growing up with a friend, a mentor who is none else than my Dad. My dad is special to me and my appreciation of him has grown over the years. There is not a moment, I hesitate to share what I have to say with my dad and I think this has been possible only because of the space he has always given in our relationship.

He has always lived his values of integrity, discipline, hard work, empathy and love. He has always encouraged my sister and I to be independent, follow our dreams and to believe in ourself.

Life lessons I have learnt from my dad

1.You are your word and always honor your word.
2.If in doubt, ask questions. Communicate and clarify even in situations of conflict.
3.No matter how bad the situation may be, there is a learning from each of those.
4.Treat people with respect and love.
5.Learn, unlearn, relearn and share.
6.Your inner conscience is your guide and to take the journey within is something I have learnt from my parents.
7.Emotions is an essential part of my life and I need to be emotionally aware and express myself.
8. I have grown up in an environment of healthy discussions, debates and analysis be it of books, movies, TV shows or an incident in our daily lives.
9. Family is very important and always make time for your family.
10. Never be in debt and never borrow.
11. I have the power of choice and I have to face the music of my choices.
12. To live within my means and that my behavior and actions needs to reflect my values.
13. To be ambitious but in chasing my dreams and passion, I should not forget to be gratuitous.
14. To be confident of myself, proud of my achievements but never to un-friend humility.
15. To derive strength in every challenge that I face in life and to be an optimist.

My dad has always loved, cared and looked out for me. He has always understood me, listened, empathized and no amount of words will ever be able to articulate the wonderful Dad that I have.

Habits are at first cobwebs, then cables..Do Your Habits Determine You?

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Lalita Raman

Lalita Raman

A friend of mine, Jane, a senior manager with a FMCG company, manages six direct reports who in turn manage four to five people each. Jane to us, is one of the most enthusiastic, authentic and a gregarious person. When she started leading a team, about 4 years back, she faced issues of underperformance from her team. She did not realize that this underperformance was mainly from her leadership skills or rather from one of her age-old habits.

She initially attributed the reasons for underperformance to pressures of time and lack of resources. She decided to hire a coach after reflecting on the consistent underperformance of her team. It was only then that she realized that it was her habit of assuming that her team understood and bought into every change that was introduced, was the key reason for the disconnect.

We are all creatures of habit, good or bad. Some of these habits we are unaware of just like Jane, till we start reflecting, and making ourselves aware and then looking at the consequences.

We become what we repeatedly do. Did you know that our subconscious mind is much more powerful than our conscious mind?

It is our subconscious mind – the habitual mind that dictates most of our thoughts and actions. What does this mean?

Most of us spend our time on an autopilot mode in the way we behave and act. This could be unconsciously competent or unconsciously incompetent part of us. Take the example of someone who has been driving a car for years. This person is almost on an auto pilot mode whilst driving. Most people whilst driving are engaged in a conversation. When you think about this, it is scary.

Our subconscious mind is like a fertile soul that accepts any seed planted. Thus our habitual thoughts, feelings, and actions are a result of what we sow in our subconscious mind. So be it eating dessert after every meal, or acting like a bully in every situation of life, or making yourself loud and known no matter where you are, are habits and they result from our subconscious mind and what we have sown there.

Do we need to get rid of all our habits ? Absolutely not

We manifest good and bad habits and it is some of these bad habits that affects our health, our relationships, our behavior as a leader in day-to-day life or within organizations.

How do we get over bad habits? FOR THE FULL POST PLEASE CLICK ON LINK

 

Values Are Like Fingerprints… Are You Leading With Your Values?

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Lalita Raman

Lalita Raman

It is Friday evening and you are looking forward to your long overdue vacation. You are working on the final touches of your proposal to get a new line of business approved. The proposal is almost ready barring some details on some legal challenges that you are awaiting from your legal department. You receive the legal opinion and when you read it, you realize that a key element is missing. Not considering this aspect might hurt the franchise of the business in the future. The only person aware about this is you and none else.
What would you do?
Would you rather let it go because you’ll never be found out or blamed or would you listen to your inner voice which tells you how important it is to highlight this specific legal risk.
What is this inner voice that whispers to you at various moments in your day and life. A whisper to the effect “There is no way you can do that. it’s not right”.

Each of us have core values whether we realize it or not. Core values is what is imbibed in us from the day we are born. Some values we instill in us as we are growing. Values sit within our memory and are deep-rooted. They are not written anywhere but are those which we live through our behavior and actions.

Values are like fingerprints. Nobody’s are the same, but you leave ‘em all over everything you do. ~Elvis Presley

You are your personal brand. Personal brand is not just about you being a CEO or CFO or Fashion designer but it is what you are in what you do and how you choose to show your values in your career and the various roles you perform.

Key questions on Values – For the full post refer LINK

Top Five Questions On Work-Life Balance

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Lalita Raman

Lalita Raman

Jack has had several busy work weeks. His morning starts off early and his day doesn’t end till after midnight. He spends most of his weekends working. He realizes that he doesn’t have time for his family, friends or “me” time.
He was constantly in catch-up mode and feels he is in a manic rat-race. He wondered where and when he had lost his work-life balance.

Work-life balance is a catch-all phrase that is considered to be a big problem in many people’s life.
Do you think that work-life balance is an issue for you ?
What does the phrase work-life balance mean to you ?

1. Do you know who you are?
Have you discovered your a) personal goals, b) business and career goals and c) personal growth and development goals?
Personal goals - this is what drives you from moment to moment in your quest for knowledge, your relationships, your family, your desire to earn money, how you see yourself and in the society you live.
Business and career goals – This is the means (how) by which you achieve your personal (why) goals, both tangible and intangible. What skills do you need to develop your talents so that you can progress in your career.
Personal Development Goals – what is your purpose? What are your values? Who are you? An identity that is not associated with what you do but a reflection of your values and your behavior and action. This is the goal that assists you in growth and self-development.

2. What are you passionate about?
Think of all those things that you absolutely love to do. These are activities, which even if you do only for a short time in a day refreshes you. There are many times in our life where we cut down on our sleep, “me `time” and many other activities because we have to complete a project. I’ve found that even during these moments in my life, listening to music or working out may be for a short span of fifteen minutes helps me rejuvenate and I don’t feel overwhelmed. Taking time out for things you absolutely love helps you focus better.

3. What would you do if you had no limits or you knew you would not be judged for what you do?
Even if you are a person who is confident and not that concerned about what people think, you succumb to the pressure to excel in what you do. The pressure from your own inner standards and also one from the outer world where you want to be appreciated rather than judged. When you feel you are on a hamster wheel, asking yourself about the possibilities helps you break your mental frame of mind. Your priorities become clear when you let yourself lose from the shackles of your mind.

4. Do you take a flexible approach?
A routine and structure is good but every day need not look the same. Taking a break from the routine helps you re-energize. Sometimes your work may need more of your time and at other times your personal life. Be flexible.

5. Do you embrace perfection? Whilst there is nothing wrong in maintaining high standards of quality in whatever you deliver, you cannot be at all places at all times. Learn to let go be it at home or work. You are not indispensable and life at work or home will go on without you being present all the time at both these places.

If you set your priorities right and have made a choice to spend more time on one aspect of your life for a period of time, don’t allow your mind to play games. Go with the flow, be present in whatever you are doing and reenergize with power naps or breaks.

Whenever you feel imbalance in your work and personal life, reexamine your life, your time usage and determine if you need to re-prioritize.

What is your vision?
What do you seek to achieve?
What are you doing to get closer to your vision?

Top 5 Leadership Lessons From YOGA

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Lalita Raman

 

Are you wondering what yoga has to do with leadership?

I have done yoga for almost 10 years and I still continue to learn not only the yoga poses but what yoga can teach about myself, life and leadership. When I started yoga 10 years back, it was purely as an exercise and to improve my flexibility. Most of the yoga instructors will tell you that yoga is a connection between mind, body and soul and the common link is through your breath. I used to hear this but never quite understood the real essence.
My journey with yoga in the first two-three years, was one of hate and love. However, where I stand today with yoga is one of love, where I have learnt to overcome some of my frustrations of inflexibility. This is where yoga is like leadership, in that a leader doesn’t take credit only when the going is good but stands through tough times and journeys through them.

For the full post please click on the LINK

Are You Living Your Authenticity?

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Lalita Raman

In this age of information and technology overload, there are many times each of us possibly feel that we are on a hamster wheel, one that we are unable to get off. We try to copy others who we think are a role model of our definition of success. We go to spas, movies and seek various avenues to run away into this so-called fantasy land.

What do we need most at this juncture?

A journey within, to follow the inner voice that has both gentleness and clarity and helps you find who you really are.  We need to be bold and courageous to follow this inner journey, to face who we are, what we are capable of, what we are uncomfortable with and be true and honest to the inner core.

When you go through adversity in your life, your real character is tested. Authenticity is who you are, how you relate to others, discovering your talents, your own energies and passions. Being who you are is when your audio, video and thoughts are all in sync. There is no mask or different strokes for different people.

I believe that authenticity doesn’t come from status, titles, qualifications, or the amount that you have in your bank account but 
authenticity is:

  • 
to Know
  • to Be 

  • to Accept
  • 
to Create

                     Yourself

Keys To Authenticity

1. Self awareness – knowing who you are and being you and finding contentment and fulfillment in that. It also relates to how you relate to others and the way they see you. If you truly know yourself, and project yourself in the same way, others perception of you will be the same as what you know “you” to be.

2. Talents – find out what you are capable of, passionate about, and what appeals to you. Discover your talents and develop them.

3. Lead with your soul – you’ll make an impact on others only if you empower yourself to lead with your soul, your inner voice and accept who you are. Your inner drive is the one that will steer you through doubts, fears and negative energy.

Throughout our life we need to question our beliefs, learnings, see around us and listen to the reality that surrounds us.

There is no point doing yoga or meditation or charity and considering yourself authentic, if you don’t know how to be courteous to your neighbor, your surroundings and respect the living space around you.

Have you asked these questions of yourself ?
1. What would you like to do?
2. When you like what you do, what does that mean to you ?
3. When you don’t have what you like what does that mean to you ?
4. Do you have passion and enthusiasm in doing what you are doing?
5. Do you have the talents and skills to do what you love doing? Are you willing to develop those talents once you have discovered them

10 Leadership Lessons From My Mom

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Today is Mother’s Day and normally I don’t write blog posts on my mother on this day. A mother, I believe is someone who needs to be honored, loved, cared every single day and not just on Mother’s Day. Why did I decide to write a blog post this year?

I was having a chat with a business colleague yesterday and we were discussing leadership, qualities of a leader and people who have inspired each of us. On the topic of inspiration, many have inspired me but none better than my mom and my dad. Since the discussion is fresh in my mind and Mother’s Day is today, I thought, why not translate these thoughts into a blog post.

My mom has never considered herself as a leader and even if you tell her she probably doesn’t understand how she can be a leader.

My mom is in her 70’s and she comes from a conservative background. She got married when she was 19 and she has always been a housewife who always found pleasure in looking after her home, her family and in building a temple of values.

Why do I consider my mom as a leader ?

For the full post refer to the LINK

Are You An Ode To Your Dogmas?

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We are more than a decade into the twenty-first century and yet we live by dogmas…….

Beliefs rule our work and personal world. Beliefs are more often than not a lie. Beliefs lead us to act or think about something in a way not because we have experienced it but because it is just believed to be true.  Beliefs are not necessarily based on logic. Each of us have our belief system and some of them are acquired along the journey of life or some that is ingrained into us from childhood. Most of them we choose not to question.

I grew up in India, and some of the common beliefs are

- if the husband dies soon after marriage, the wife has brought the bad luck
- widow needs to wear white
- if you are good you will go to heaven when you die
- a marriage is all about compromises
- if a particular dish is cooked in a specific way and this is a family tradition it is carried out from generation to generation without anyone asking why is it done the way it is done & is it necessary?
- crying is bad and makes you weak. Controlling your feelings makes you strong
- when a black cat crosses the road whilst you are walking it is a bad omen

In an organizational context beliefs can take the following shape

  • to join us as a coach or as a leadership trainer, you need to be trained by us. It doesn’t matter if you have been certified.
  • this is the only way to service a customer efficiently and it has worked for us for several years.
  • we will continue to service our existing customers with our existing products and there is no necessity to look at growing our range of products and services we offer to them.

Many of us become so intertwined with our beliefs that we practice it as a behavior & impose it on others. Beliefs are created by some data or knowledge that may have been gathered or gained without actually experiencing it or questioning the logic of the information.

Only when we separate our lives from beliefs and start living based on our own experiences, we start to be in control of our true journey of life.

Impact of beliefs

1. Fear – most people don’t want to question because they Fear that they will be excluded or thought of as unconventional. If I ask questions on their adopted practices, I cut my career progression.  In a larger context, if organizations refuse to break away from their conventional thinking they run the risk of not adapting. They short change themselves from creative thinking, growth, and development.

 2. Happiness – many of us for a large part our lives define success and well-being in terms of the external world. We live in this myth that our happiness is linked to the materialistic world. We continue to seek peace of mind from the external world.

Have you questioned if that gives you peace of mind, happiness and fulfillment?  Have you tried going on an inner journey?

3. Thoughts – Our thoughts reflect in our feelings and our actions. If we refuse to relinquish our deep-seated beliefs, they become our thoughts. These thoughts control us, dictate our actions and define who we are.

Would you like to be known by your beliefs or would you like to live your experiences?

Would you like to limit your potential by these beliefs?

 Let your fear, thoughts or dogmas not restrict your innate potential. Ask relevant questions

  • Have you asked yourself why is something done the way it is done?
  • What is stopping me from getting what I need?
  • Would you rather be part of a group who question, challenge and help you grow rather than agreeing with you on everything you say and do?
  • Are you a product of your beliefs?
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What Can You Learn About Leadership From Children?

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I was staying with my sister when I was visiting my family last week. One of her neighbors has two girls aged 5 and 7, Rita and Meeta. These two girls are the most adorable children I have ever met. They spend their entire evening at my sister’s house, after she and her husband get back home.  One of the evenings, we were chatting and having fun with the kids when the younger girl, Rita whispers something in her sister, Meeta’s, ear and tells her don’t share. “Keep it a secret, ok promise.” She then looks at me from the corner of her eye with an abashed look. By then, Meeta, however reveals her secret. The secret being that Rita has a friend in school who loves her. Rita looks at us sheepishly and says he keeps saying I love you. But I don’t.  So my sister asks her, so why don’t you tell him what you feel? Oh, but I have only over heard and he hasn’t told me directly. When he tells me directly, I’ll let him know. My sister asks her how would she tell him, and I was surprised with her response. She said, “I love my parents and my sister, and as of now that’s it.”

Mind you, this is a girl who is barely 5 years old.

What lessons of leadership can we learn from children?

  1.  Clarity – Rita was very clear in communicating about her experience, what love meant to her and why this boy’s behavior made her uncomfortable. Even at that age she was crystal clear and did not mince her words.  She was confused and her mind was possibly wrestling with what she should do. She in her childlike innocence revealed her secret to her sister. Leaders often know what is needed but many times get lost in their mental chatter. Often the solution lies in mindfulness and following the heart and not laboring the mind. The time to act is not when you are confused.
  2. Emotional Intelligence – Rita had overheard this remark but she had the EQ not to react to that boy, because that comment was not yet made directly to her. She had the emotional awareness to not react immediately but prepare herself if and when that happens. As leaders, of utmost importance, is striking the right balance between IQ and EQ. Many times the team may consist of people who may not have understood what is required of them or may be preoccupied with some other thoughts. A leader will do well to recognize such situations and not publicly humiliate team members who err or consistently seem preoccupied.  Leaders can navigate through challenging times if they have a high EQ. Being self-aware and empathetic is critical.
  3. Discuss and Ask for Help – Rita was feeling embarrassed to discuss what was troubling her in front of my sister and I, but my gut feel is that she told Meeta realizing that she would tell us. Rita did that because she wanted to discuss and see what we had to tell her. As leaders, you can’t be expected to know everything. If you are not sure of something, ask, discuss and clarify. No one can fly solo all the time. It is better to ask for support rather than make a mistake and lose the trust of your team members.

How many times have you been in awe at the questions that children ask ?

Have the questions that a child asks made you reflect?

What have you learned from observing children?

Children are always curious, they never stop asking questions. They are on a never-ending quest to learn, to share, to try out new things. They follow their heart and lead from within though they may be too young to realize this.

 Don’t we as adults and leaders need to learn a thing or two from children?