Little Things That Matter

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Archives for March 2014

The Not So Random Acts of Kindness

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You are tired, have had a bad day, your feet is aching. You see someone who is unable to stand, get into the bus you have just boarded. Would you give your seat to this person?

Random acts of kindness brighten another’s day and gives pleasure to the person engaged in the act of kindness. Kindness is typically spoken in terms of being nice, caring for others or doing something.

Have you thought of kindness as not doing or saying something? Click to Tweet

Three years ago, I was getting out of my gym and slipped just outside the building and twisted my ankle. The twist was so bad that I was unable to stand up on my own. For a good two to three minutes I was wreathing in pain and not a single soul in the busy city that I live in bothered to ask me, if I need help. Suddenly I saw a Good Samaritan come running across the road and asked me if I need help and helped me stand up.  This is a conscious act of kindness.

Kindness to me is

What you say or don’t

What you do or don’t

Who you are in your actions and behavior Click to Tweet

Aren’t being kind all of these:

1. Silence – when you know someone has made a mistake at work, do you embarrass the person in front of others or take the person aside and ask questions in a way that they realize their mistake? Calling to another person’s mistakes indirectly is an act of kindness because you appreciate that the person has done a mistake and you give an opportunity to that person to correct their mistake.

2. Speak up – there is no point in saying you care about women and stand up against violence against women when you partake in hearing and passing sexist comments. Silently hearing these comments is as good as being a participant. Passing cheap comments on social media about animals or women or any human is not being kind. If you are part of a  “bystander effect” you are not kind.

3. Humor – in life you can’t be all serious and not have fun. Use humor but not to assassinate somebody’s character or to insult somebody. You are kind if you decide not to pass that cheap humor or sarcastic comment.

4. Being right – even if you are right, there comes many a situation in life, it is better to be kind than proving you are right. This can be difficult many times but think of situations when it is better to let go because you know that you’ll possibly make it worse to prove you are right.

5. Sorry – if you are sorry say “Sorry”, not “I’m sorry but”. What is the use of an apology with buts? Click To Tweet

6. Thoughts and actions – a smile, a hug, offering a seat in a public transport to somebody, holding the door open for someone, volunteering are all acts of Kindness. And, don’t forget many a time not acting in a particular way or not saying something is an act of kindness too. Respect another person’s time and keep up your word and commitment. Click to Tweet

7. Anger – Not giving in to your anger is an act of kindness no matter how right you are.

8. Forgiveness – this is a tricky one especially if that person whom you have to forgive has hurt you deeply. But the best way to think about this is you need to be kind to yourself and in that self-compassion forgive the other person or block that bad memory so that you don’t agonize yourself over the hurt.

9. Listening – Not burying your head in your phone when you are in a meeting at work or off work is giving respect to the person who is having a conversation with you. Being genuinely interested in the other person (not probing) is an act of kindness too. Listening with your heart and soul is the best gift you can give someone. Click To Tweet

10. How are you? – when someone asks you How Are you? Be kind to them in responding rather than giving a mechanical answer. The care that a person shows you by thinking about you and asking about your wellbeing is a kind act and one that needs to be cherished.

Mind your manners in public or on social media. You may think that it is your timeline and that gives you a right to behave in any, which way you want to. However, you reveal your character and the acts of ill mannerism speak volumes about You more than anyone else.

There is always more room for kindness. In this day and age where stress levels are high and emotional intelligence is the order of the day, why not be kind ?

Kindness is a way of showing others that they matter and that even in the face of stress and hostility, you can still be kind. Click To Tweet

For Coaching, Speaking or Training please connect with Lalita Raman.

The Art of Believing In Others

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Karen was smiling and looked more confident and happier as I caught a glimpse of her in the lift. I had not seen Karen in the past six months.The last time I had met Karen, she was frustrated, and was on the verge of quitting her job.

As we got out of the crowded lift, Karen came running to me delighted and eager to share the developments in her life. Seeing how exuberant she was, we decided to go to a nearby Starbucks and order coffee, so that I could listen to her in peace.

She had got a promotion and the role she was doing with her company was to her liking. Further, she was expected to head up sales and marketing for her company in Asia, by September this year. I was pleased to know that the belief in her by her new boss and the senior management had brought a new life to the ever so enthusiastic and self-starter Karen I had always known.

You inspire and influence others by believing in their positive potential and by giving them positive feedback. Click To Tweet

No, I don’t mean flattery or baseless praise. We are programmed and wired to be negative and self-critical. How about taking a step back and seeing someone for what they are capable of?

Do you discern the innate abilities and positive potential of those around you? Click To Tweet

Are you one of those who tends to discourage others by asking “Are you sure you are capable of doing that?”

How do you give feedback to others?

Karen felt empowered and motivated by the sheer belief that her boss had placed on her.

Empowerment is

 →not being judgmental

→not being critical

→about challenging others yet giving them a fine reputation to live up to

→believing in that person in a way that facilitates their growth and development

What can you do today to ensure someone knows, you believe in him or her so that they can continue to have faith in their own ability ?

  1. Encouragement – when you encourage others you inspire them with courage and confidence. You make them believe in themselves or make them see endless possibilities, which they may otherwise not have seen.
  2. Empathy – an uncanny ability to see the innate talent and possibility in another. When you discern the potential of your team members and give them a fine reputation to live up to, you  empower them.
  3. Faith – by believing in another person you have shown an immense faith in what they can do and the beauty about this trust is that, they will rarely let you down. They take it as a challenge and live up to or exceed the faith placed in them.
  4. Reaffirmations – silent gratitude or appreciation has no value. You need to give on going reaffirmation of that person’s potential and talents. Feedback is a continuous process and one that can be contextualized to the situation in hand.
  5. Care – sometimes we get so wrapped up in our own world that we forget to acknowledge the brilliance in others. We forget to recognize that our words of encouragement will go a long way in inspiring another person to surpass many a mountain.

 “Treat a man as he is, he will remain so. Treat a man the way he can be and ought to be, and he will become as he can be and should be.” ~ Goethe

What is it like when you remember those who encouraged, empowered, inspired and made you feel valued ?

By believing in others you inspire positivity and set the tone for a shift in their thinking or a life-changing moment. Click To Tweet

Every time you believe in a person you open up a possibility for that person and arouse their Positive Emotional Attractor.

As a Coach, I honor the client as the expert in their life and work and believe clients are creative, resourceful and whole. By helping individuals identify or endorse their strengths,  they dramatically improve their outlook on work and life, while improving their leadership skills and unlocking their potential.

Whom are you going to believe in today ?

For Coaching, Speaking or Training please connect with Lalita Raman.

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Inflexibility Is All In Your Perspective

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Photo Credits : Lalita Raman

Photo Credits : Lalita Raman

Though I have been doing yoga for almost 10 years, each day is different in that some days it is easier to be in the moment, feel more flexible and be in the flow whereas not so on other days.

When your muscles are sore and you are trying to bend forward and touch your toes you feel the pain, the frustration and more often than not your mind is agitated.  When you are not that nimble, you feel the pain, the discomfort and the difficulty to breathe and to ease into that moment.  This is most felt whilst trying to do any yoga pose which your body is not able to do because of being inflexible.

Flexibility is the ability to move muscles and joints through their complete range. We are born with this ability but something most of us lose over time because of our life styles. We lose the agility on our muscles. The activities we engage in or not leads to muscle atrophy. Stretching is thus necessary to help muscles rebuild.

Flexibility, however, is an attitude that we need to take in that challenging moment, that transforms our mind as well as our body. The more we get entangled in our moment of pain and frustration in not being able to stretch with ease, the more difficult it gets to become unstuck.

One of my favorite yoga instructors reminds the class each day that in doing the asana we should seek to do our best but not let the eagle in us take over. Today is not the same as yesterday. Let us take each moment as it comes.

Whenever I hear this I am reminded of this quote by Pema Chodron.   “The Buddha taught that flexibility and openness bring strength and that running from groundlessness weakens us and brings pain. But do we understand that becoming familiar with the running away is the key? Openness doesn’t come from resisting our fears but from getting to know them well…”

Inflexibility is felt during a stretch or whilst doing yoga, but what about life and at work ?

Have you ever considered the impact of not adapting to change ? Click To Tweet

What about not listening to another person’s ideas because of your ego?

Flexibility starts from our attitude be it in yoga or at work.  What are the common causes of lack of adaptability at work?

1. Fear

Command and control form of leadership fails to motivate employees and keep them engaged. Fear of breaking the barriers is a common cause of adhering to the top down control based hierarchical structures. How long can you keep your team from breaking apart?

2. Trust

Defensive thinking and lack of trusting one’s own judgment on instincts creates bias in favor of status quo. What is the direct impact of this on employee and tram engagement ?

3. Habit

Habits are first cobwebs then cables which deter you from adapting or initiating change. Mindset and attitude are the biggest enemies which dictate our behaviors. Does this cause stress in your work and life ?

4. Inflexible policies and practices

When policies and practices are used as a garb to defend long-winded procedures, it is often a case of inflexibility.  Are you taking excuse under policies?

5. Lack of Diversity

Diversity starts from thoughts and flows into behaviors, words and actions. Any organization whose systems value conformance and cohesion at the expense of diversity and divergence limits the ability to welcome new and diverse ideas. How are you adopting diversity in various parts of your organization?

You and your teams ability to react to, manage, control, and introduce change controls the rise or fall of organizations that you are part of. Change starts with You and your attitude determines the process of navigating the change.

Key Questions to Ask

1. How willing are you to promote a culture of flexible working hours ?

2. How enthusiastic are you in your communication whilst listening to new ideas and changes ? Click To Tweet 

3. What are the different ways you can overcome the various hurdles that you fire fight every time ?

4. How adaptable are you to trying out different methods to achieve the same goal ?

5. Do you have a flexible work environment to promote a higher diversity and engagement among your employees?

BlackBerry failed to anticipate that consumers — not business customers — would drive the smart phone revolution. This lack of adaptability is possibly one of the top reasons for their downfall.

And research has indicated the preference for flexibility versus face time.

If you can gain insight into your and your teams’ behaviors that make up adaptability and being flexible in your approach it will help you face change and transition.

Are you being adaptable in your approach to detect and respond to changes? Click To Tweet

Top Ten Ways to Stand Out In Sales and From Competition

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Photo Credits : Lalita Raman

“It is not the employer who pays the wages. Employers only handle the money. It is the customer who pays the wages” – Henry Ford

Every time a customer comes into contact with any aspect of your business, they have an opportunity to form an impression about you, your brand and business.

How do you keep your customers engaged and loyal?

David Brooks, the New York Times columnist in his op-ed column dated February 3, 2014 What Machines Can’t Do states tha “We’re clearly heading into an age of brilliant technology. Computers are already impressively good at guiding driverless cars and beating humans at chess and Jeopardy. As Erik Brynjolfsson and Andrew McAfee of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology point out in their book The Second Machine Age, computers are increasingly going to be able to perform important parts of even mostly cognitive jobs, like picking stocks, diagnosing diseases and granting parole.”….

He asks “But what human skills will be more valuable?”

We are in an age where there is an overload of access to and availability of information and the attention spans are becoming shorter. Customer engagement has become even more important and thus the necessity to understand the customer’s perspectives and to add value to the buying process.

Is customer loyalty important to your business?

Are you wondering how you can increase your customer loyalty through engagement? Click To Tweet

A human skill that cannot be replaced by machines or computers is Care Click To Tweet

In order to develop relationships with your customers that result in repeat business, referrals and valued relationships, customer care is essential and here are some counter-intuitive insights.   For FULL POST REFER LINK

For one on one coaching, speaking, training, workshops and speaking please contact me.