Little Things That Matter

Learn From The Past, Live The Present and Have An Open Mind to Face Tomorrow

The Secret To Strong Self-Esteem

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You see it in others, you feel it in yourself when you exude it and yet you can only describe it by acts of doing instead of being. What is it?

It is Confidence you see in others and you describe it by what they do and how they do it.

You feel your own #self-esteem and people see you exude #self-confidence in what you do and say. #leadfromwithin

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  Each of us have self-esteem and we find this even on the dullest moments and on days we want to give up. Self-esteem is not something that can be taken away from us.

Yet, we don’t recognize that we have it and in moments of adversity it is our self-esteem that enables us to bounce back.

It is not about bragging or being narcissistic but it is about who you are, what you are good at and the humility to know and accept what you are not so good at.

Over the weekend, I watched the movie 100 Foot Journey. There is a scene in the movie where Hassan (the lead character) prepares a pigeon dish for his competitor, Madame Mallory. The way Hassan presents the dish to her is with complete confidence in his ability and you notice that as an observer. Of course, he doesn’t get the appreciation that he expects from Madame Mallory. Later in the movie, Hassan, having heard that Madame Mallory hires potential chefs by taste-testing an omelet they prepare for her, asks if he may cook an omelet for her. Citing his injured hands, he says Madame Mallory will have to help him with the process.

After sampling his cooking, Madame Mallory concedes to his potential to be a great chef.

He states to her that he was sure that he had made the first dish and the omelet exactly the way she liked and he was confident that she would like it.

The way this character exudes confidence is memorable.

Self Confidence comes from having the self-esteem about yourself.

#Self-esteem is about being #positive and believing in yourself and what you can do. #leadfromwithin

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  It is also about how you see yourself. Self-esteem gives you that wand to believe in yourself, respect and like yourself, accept your challenges and keep an open mind to learn, develop and continue to grow on the path of excellence. In this movie, Hassan has self-esteem and that enables him to learn, try out new things and excel in his goal and path. It is his self- esteem and self-confidence that enables him to reach the heights of success and yet make the choice when he feels he is at a crossroad.

How do you build your self-esteem and that of others?

1. Listen

Listening is the best gift you can give someone to build their self-esteem and confidence.

2. Encourage

As a child our parents encouraged us to step out of our comfort zone, be adaptable and believe in oneself. Each of us need encouragement no matter our age or gender.

2. Appreciate

As a child we love receiving praise and we get appreciated in the small things we do. However, we never stop wanting to be appreciated no matter our age or gender.

3. Plan ahead

Life is a challenge and it is an untrodden path. Be open to respond with spontaneity on the surprises. And don’t forget that preparation and planning in every aspect of life goes a long way. So, If you want to be a good speaker, prepare, practice and earn the right to speak it and do it with authenticity.

5. Strengths

Be aware of your strengths and use them. Be adaptable because sometimes these very strengths could become your down player. Hassan in this movie had a gift and passion for cooking. He was a natural at it and he knew it, yet he was ready to learn and adapt to become successful.

Self-esteem is something we all have and we can adopt a mindset where we allow us to build our self-confidence with honor and humility.

For Coaching, Speaking and Training let’s connect

The Power of Questions : 5 Secrets To Leading A Meaningful Life

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I was standing at the immigration queue last Friday, in Singapore, to catch a flight back home.

I was exhausted, yet couldn’t miss hearing a little girl of age may be 4-5 years old persistently asking her mom, mommy where is Daddy? So mommy answers her but she is still not quite satisfied with mommy’s answer. She changes tact and asks her mom, what are you holding in your hand ? So her mom replies to her saying passports. So she asks, is mine with you ? She gets a response from her patient mom. Then she asks her mom, you are holding 3, one is mine, other is yours, whose is the third one ? So her mom says, darling that is your dad’s passport.

She then in her sweet little voice loudly and clearly calls out to her dad, daddy do you want your passport? If yes, you better come here with us. Lo and behold she managed to get her dad with her.

What stood out for me was the way this little girl got to her end goal and she did all of that by asking questions of her mom.

Children are persistent with questions and they do get answers to their never ending questions.

I was amazed at how this little girl by asking 5-6 questions got the information out and laid her path to solve her jigsaw puzzle. In the end she achieved her end goal of getting her dad to stand in the same queue as her.

Asking relevant Questions is a powerful tool. The right questions inspire creativity, insights, drive connection and engagement and get desired results and breakthroughs.

By asking different type of questions, depending on the information you seek to get, (Open, fact based, probing, coping, what if ), you get bits of information and build on this to arrive at the final destination.

Wondering why I said constructive and right. Imagine if you lost the biggest deal of the decade. First thing you would probably ask yourself is what is wrong with me? What did I screw up? These kind of questions sets a negative tone to your thoughts and action. Instead, a relevant question would be What can I do to make sure I increase my chances of winning the deal ? What did I do well? What could I improve on ?

Questions are good for persuasion and convincing somebody, for enquiry, for building rapport and relationship, for being a good conversationalist. Listening is of utmost importance in the latter two instances.

Reflection begins with asking empowering questions of oneself.

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Self-awareness is critical to your success.

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How do we use the power of questions to reflect on our own lives and move forward ?

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1. What is your tennis ball?

This question, is from a spectacular commencement speech given by Drew Houston, the CEO of Dropbox, for MIT’s 147th Commencement held June 7, 2013.

To quote Houston, “I was going to say work on what you love, but that’s not really it. It’s so easy to convince yourself that you love what you’re doing — who wants to admit that they don’t? When I think about it, the happiest and most successful people I know don’t just love what they do, they’re obsessed with solving an important problem, something that matters to them. They remind me of a dog chasing a tennis ball: their eyes go a little crazy, the leash snaps and they go bounding off, plowing through whatever gets in the way. I have some other friends who also work hard and get paid well in their jobs, but they complain as if they were shackled to a desk.”

“So after today, it’s not about pushing yourself; it’s about finding your tennis ball, the thing that pulls you. It might take a while, but until you find it, keep listening for that little voice.”

It is about figuring out what you enjoy doing the most, what kind of activity makes you come alive, what do you feel most enthused about. Once you’ve figured out what brings out the best in you, you have to figure out how are you going to incorporate that into your day-to-day life?

2. What are your superpowers?

This is to determine your strengths, traits and altitudes. These are unique to you and this is what enables you to overcome challenges and deal effortlessly with any situation that life throws at you. Your strengths is something you determine by self-awareness and by a conversation with a Coach.

3. What are you grateful for?

Do you take things that you have and the people who stand by you for granted? Gratitude reminds us to be positive and help us move forward. It is easy to complain, criticize and condemn. To be thankful for a positive experience and from a negative experience is fulfilling and helps us let go.

4. What legacy do you wish to leave behind?

If you answered oh, what difference can I make, I’m a drop in the Ocean. Think again. If you believe that you can make a difference and do and be that person who can make a difference, you will be able to. Another way of thinking about the same question is to ask yourself, Looking back on your career and life, 15 or 30 years from now, what will you be proud of what you’ve accomplished? This is a great forward moving statement that can help you put things in perspective

5 . What am I doing now?

This helps you to think about what you are committed to right now and ask yourself if that ties in with your dream, your purpose and passion. In answering what you are doing now, you convert an intention to action. It is great to dream an intention to get somewhere is useless without an action.

These are some questions which you can ask yourself on the path of self-reflection and send-awareness. By questioning you encourage divergent thinking, tap into creativity and you set yourself on a motivating path.

What would asking the right question make possible for you in your life ?

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The Secret To Self-Confidence

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He is a charming person but when you meet him for the first time and several times thereafter, what you see is that his body language is one of indifference, his facial expressions is one of dis-interest and he rarely looks you in the eye whilst conversing with you. He has a sarcastic comment on almost everything mentioned by somebody else. How do you see the charm in such a person?

His name is David and I was assigned to him as his coach. I had a chemistry meeting with him and he chose me as his coach. I felt uncomfortable with My chemistry meeting with him, yet decided to accept the assignment because something in me told me that what we see in David may not be his real self. David had self-confidence issues. He was one of the seniors in his office but had missed the role of heading up the business twice because of the way people perceived him and the way he came across in his body language and tone of voice.

Self-confidence is something most of us can enhance in many areas. We may be self-confident in the way we communicate in our office amongst our colleagues, in front of clients and at home but may be lacking the self-confidence, if we have to address a crowd of 200 people extempore. David’s issue with self-confidence was one of not trusting himself and falling victim to his fears and doubts. His current boss saw the potential in David and assigned him a coach.

What contributes to your self-confidence?

Self Confidence is about self-awareness and self-respect. Your self-awareness and self-respect contributes to your self-talk.

1. Self-Awareness – this is the conscious awareness of your own character, your strengths, your traits, and your skills. What is your identity ? It comes from our ability to accept ourselves while focusing on our positive side. This is how our self-confidence is positively influenced. It is easy to give power to our negative thoughts and weakness, however they do more damage than good. It is about identifying who you are and no matter what the situation what are you capable of ?

2. Self-Respect – how do you look at yourself with dignity and respect in your down and out moments ? Make an inventory of your achievements, the way you overcame the last challenging moment in your life and about every aspect in your life that makes you who you are. It is about trusting yourself and going with your instinct and looking back at every learning you had in your adverse moments and how you reached your goal.

3. Self-Talk – self-awareness + self-respect = self-talk. Self-talk is positive, backed by the evidence from self-awareness and self-respect.

Let your self-talk be one where you can make continuous improvements in your growth areas and where you encourage yourself to get to where you want to go. Click To Tweet

It is not about giving in to your fears and doubts and having them empower you but in finding your strength in every mode of life to do what you want to do and in all that be who you are or want to be.

David had self-confidence issues and he tried to mask that by his indifference and tone. Without his realization, his mask had become his biggest inhibitor to success.

Self-confidence is not about being arrogant or aggressive. It is about enabling yourself to be your best with humility. Click To Tweet

How are you enhancing your self-confidence?

For Coaching, Speaking or Training let’s connect.

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The Vulnerability In Relationships

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I was watching some Ted Talk Videos over the weekend and one of them was on The Power Of Vulnerability. 
This got me thinking about relationships. Relationships are made or marred many times on vulnerability.
There have been numerous cases of abuse, bullying, domestic violence and all this is evidence of putting someone in a vulnerable state or taking advantage of them.
Yet, at other times when we are in a crisis, may be stranded on account of bad weather conditions or losing a job in a close down or merger situation, some of the best relationships are formed during such situations. “Vulnerability is the core, the heart, the center, of meaningful human experiences according to Brené Brown in her book How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent and Lead.
Vulnerability here does not mean being submissive or weak. It involves uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure which is well articulated by Brené Browne in her book.
When we see read or hear stories, see videos, hear presentations or empathize with the events in our daily life it is the vulnerability and authenticity which enables us to make that connection. Connection which is an important part of relationships is what gives meaning and purpose to our daily life.
Relationship is about:
1.Respect – you can shine your light but it is not necessary to knock down someone else or dim another’s light. Even if the relationship is not something that you favor, respect is an important element. Respect yourself enough to avoid being taken advantage of. Surround yourself with positivity and compassion for yourself and others.
2.Empathy – the ability to mutually experience the thoughts, emotions, and direct experience of others is an important element in any relationship.
3.Love – the most profound emotion that is an essential part of any relationship.
4.Appreciation – in the world we live today, we forget to appreciate ourselves, our relationships and the moments of life. Appreciation is unconditional and does not contain words like “But”, “However”.
5.Trust – establishing rapport is the start of good relationships. Trust is the pillar of any relationship be it with spouse, parents, siblings, shop keeper, colleagues.
6.Integrity – To me it is the Congruence of I Believe, I Value, I Think, I Feel, I Say, I Do.
7.Obedience – is a matter of the heart. It is about what you feel from within and to be accountable and responsible in a relationship.
8.Nurture – to do and be all that is necessary to grow and enrich the relationship.
9.Space – the little space we allow and create in each of our relationships, be it a friend, spouse, sister, brother or parents, keeps it healthy and allows the relationship to nurture and grow.
10.Honesty – truthfulness, sincerity and frankness in who you are.
11.Interesting – compassion and appreciation for ourselves and others keeps the relationship interesting. Compassion is born of awareness of the choices we are making and the impact of each of these actions on others.
12.Power of Communication – know when to be silent and when to speak up. Not communicating breaks the best of relationships. Conflicts, differences of opinions arise in every relationship. The intent is to disagree agreeably and keep the relationship healthy.  Listening is important to build relationships, because that is where you show empathy and that you truly care.
13.Support – strength in a relationship lies in the support you give to that relationship and that you receive. The ebb and flow of relationship requires mental toughness and support.
Relationship is not about opportunities and using it for those opportunities. Relationships to me means someone with whom you can share your completeness, be it a friend, a life partner, sister, brother, mother or father. A relationship should be one that recognizes you for what you are, challenges you, and allows you to grow.
Let your relationships be one in which you
 
Let yourselves be seen
Practice gratitude and be joyful
Love with your hearts
Are kind and compassionate to yourselves and others
Your willingness to be vulnerable and accept vulnerability establishes and maintains the connection and the authenticity in relationships.
What are some of the ways you have been courageous to be vulnerable and made a connection?
For Individual or Group Coaching, Speaking, Workshops and or Training please connect with Me
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Don’t Take LIFE For Granted

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Photo Credits : Lalita Raman

Photo Credits : Lalita Raman

This is one of the Human Relation Principles of Dale Carnegie.  The simplicity of this statement is complex in itself.  It is one of the most difficult to practice especially when things go wrong, you are experiencing a down and out day, and many moments in your life is filled with chaos, suffering and adversities.
Take for instance, when a customer service doesn’t take action and keeps saying sorry for the inconvenience caused and yet doesn’t show any signs of resolving the issue, most of our reaction is to criticize and get angry. There are many such similar events in our life when our patience is tested and we either complain or criticize.
If you observe, we criticize, condemn or complain not only about others but also ourselves.
How many times have you chided yourself ?
It is good to vent out, to seek improvement but we need to be thankful in life.
Three years back, after finishing my boot camp, whilst getting down some stairs on my way home, I fell down and fractured my ankle. I realized, how much I missed walking normally, how much I used and needed my ankle.  I have had many injuries and accidents and each of these have taught me the importance of that part of the body that I have injured.  Isn’t many aspects of our life, our relationships and the moments in our life similar? Do you take time to appreciate something when you have it or Do you realize the importance of something or someone after you don’t have it?
Life’s path is uncertain and yes we make choices and take chances but no matter how much we plan, not everything goes as per our plans. One way to reduce complaining is not to take life and the little things in life for granted
1. Thank you, please, sorry from the heart are three simple yet effective words. Make a difference by using these words as often as possible in a meaningful way. This applies in real life and on interactions in Social Media.
2. Take count of what you have in life and appreciate that.  Your health, your job, your family, your house and everything life has offered. Remember, there are many people who don’t have many things that you have.
3.  If challenges are what life has thrown at you, learn to see the positivity in those challenges and derive strength brick by brick.
4. If some relationships have turned sour, be thankful of the lessons that it has taught you.  Don’t take your relationships with family or friends for granted. No one is perfect. Communicate, clarify, listen, empathize, apologize because without these no relationship can last.
5. In every pain, sudden loss, and mishaps that occur  as difficult as it may be, learn to appreciate the lessons it has taught you.
Be thankful of every moment and every breath you take. Life lived in negativity, sarcasm and criticism is one of vain and a vicious circle. You can go to the spa, the mountains, the chalets and yet you will not find inner peace. Live in positivity, vent out, let go and make the journey of life your friend and find inner peace.
Extract from Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People “Instead of condemning people, let’s try to understand them. Let’s try to figure out why they do what they do.  That’s a lot more profitable and intriguing than criticism, and it breeds sympathy, tolerance and kindness. “To know is to forgive all”.
As Dr Johnson said : “God himself, sir does not propose to judge man until the end of his days.” Why should you and I ?
Learn to be kind to yourself and others. Live life in compassion and gratitude.

How To LOSE IN LEADERSHIP?

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I was at my friend’s place last week for dinner. She has 2 kids, a son and daughter. We were chatting and in the midst of a discussion, her daughter Nikita, comes up to her Dad and reminds him that it is her time to play chess with him.  Despite being told that he will play with her later, she insists.  He consents and tells her that she will play the game without playing any pranks.  Nikita is a junior chess champion at  a State level for girls under 10 years. Her dad, although not a champion has always been an expert in chess. We were watching them play and Nikita suddenly turned to her mom and asked her a question on what she should do.  I also noticed that she didn’t just ask for a solution but explained what her strategy was and consulted her mother on which option she should choose as the next step.
John was having some morale issues among his team. He had 5 direct reports though he was responsible for a team of fifty. He decided he will conduct a survey to determine the engagement and satisfaction among his team. At the end of one month, the time period given for completing the survey, only fifteen of his team members had responded and that too those that he had coaxed into responding. Based on the results of fifteen members who took the survey, John concluded that he was not the reason for the low morale issue.
What do these two different individuals teach you ? Nikita teaches you to lose like a leader. John is an example of how with his title, is self-centered, egoistic and supports his own press.
Leadership is not always about winning or about titles or elevated status. As leaders you can lose, and yet inspire your followers and have respect
Five Behaviors To Lose As A Leader
  1. Your control and micromanagement – if instead of managing teams you micromanage by refusing to delegate leads to mistrust and low morale. You don’t allow people to grow and develop and utilize their talents.
  2. Fear – as a leader you don’t need to know all the answers. Lose your fear of asking questions and finding out from people who may be experts or have the knowledge. Nikita consulted her mom when she was unsure about the next move she should choose to achieve her strategy.
  3. Manipulation – you don’t necessarily become a leader by occupying a position of a leader in an organization You have to earn the respect and trust of your team or people whom you work with. Without appreciating your team, empathizing with their views, needs or alternate views, your team can get disengaged. John didn’t want to take responsibility for the low morale among his team members. He tried to force some of his team members to fill the survey and get the results he desired. He shut out the truth.
  4. Withholding information – you cannot gain trust by revealing and sharing information that suits you. Self-serving behavior is a slippery slope and a prelude to an organization’s failure.
  5. Bad attitude – You can lose your ego and be humble. Humility will make you likable and earn the respect of your team. Whilst as a leader you are not expected to know everything, you need to keep abreast of the developments. You have to be credible.

As leaders, you would do well in losing your ego, arrogance, need to demand respect and be liked.

As you scale up the path in an organization or in your business as a leader and part of senior management, it probably gets lonely at the top. The responsibility that many leaders feel for their team and people creates a fear of failure and possibly a lack of Executive Presence. Many leaders get overwhelmed and start denying reality.
Life at work or in an organization has challenges that sometimes feels as if it saps the energy out of you. There are a wide range of emotions that you will experience and confront as a leader.  However as a leader, why fear in seeking help to get on a path of personal development and avoiding the pitfalls and letting your inner gremlin bewilder you?  A coach or mentor can assist you in the shift you want to make in your professional development and growth.
Reflective Questions
1. As a leader are you known for your integrity?
2. Why do you want to lead? What does leadership mean to you?
3. What have you learned from losing?
For Coaching, Facilitating and Speaking Connect.  About Lalita Raman
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Character, the decisive factor in the life of a leader

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Life throws many challenges, she pushes you, propels you and prods you. How you behave, act and live through each of these challenges is your choice. Your character is who you are in these moments of choice.

We have good days and bad days. Good days give you joy, and bad days tests you, teaches you and how you deal with it makes you who you are. Your character is tested and revealed the most during adversities.

What are the key elements of Character ?

1. Commitment – how dedicated are you to who you are and what you seek to do? Words are necessary but actions provide the power and prove who you are and the important link between the two is Commitment. How would you feel, when someone who borrowed your book fails to return within the promised time? In every aspect of life, you need to walk and live your talk. Your thoughts, audio and video needs to be in sync.

2. Honesty – A journey within, to follow the inner voice that has both gentleness and clarity and helps you find who you really are. We need to be bold and courageous to follow this inner journey, to face who we are, what we are capable of, what we are uncomfortable with and be true and honest to the inner core. How authentic are you? Authenticity is not only being true to oneself, being yourself or “walking your talk” but also how you feel about yourself. Authenticity is when you are comfortable in your skin and also connecting with others without any hypocrisies.

3. Attitude – I find it rather strange that on Twitter, many choose to say thank you immediately if a mention or a Retweet has been made by someone who has more than 30,000 followers. Till then the person who has done a RT and Mention is completely ignored. This to me reveals the attitude of the person and a true display of their character. You reveal your character in how you choose to treat someone who can’t do anything for you. Your attitude is what you choose and something you have complete control of.

4. Respect – one of the values I was taught as a child is to give respect and then take. Respect not only those who are rich and famous but a waiter in a restaurant or a person who cleans the public toilets. Imagine if the public toilets in the airports weren’t cleaned or the trash wasn’t cleared. Would you like to do that job ? Respect a person irrespective of status or titles.

5. Abilities – your ability is in not how high your IQ is but depends to a great extent on your EI when you deal with others.

6. Courage – how often have you stepped out of your comfort zone and tried to be who you are or who you wanted to be? How many times have you approached your daily life with courage? I drive a lot of inspiration from reading or seeing or knowing people, who, despite their physical limitations, have ventured to climb Mountain Kilimanjaro or have engaged in similar activities.

7. Trust – no journey or relation begins without Trust. Your behavior, your act and your own inner journey should enable reliance to be placed on your integrity, strength, ability and who you are.

8. Empathy– how well are you able to identify with another’s situation, feelings and emotions? Do you like to take center stage by talking more than listening? Do you listen to understand or respond? The best gift you can give someone is your attention and empathy. How you empathize reveals your character?

9. Righteousness – doing the right thing at all times and in all circumstances whether or not anyone is watching or observing you. Does the end justify the means for you and do you allow the end to dominate your behavior? Do you listen to your inner voice or go by the herd mentality in situations of dilemma?

Inward change begins when you evaluate and reflect on your strengths, your blind spots and attitudes. You can be a leader when you look in the mirror and make changes you need to make. Leadership is not about titles or occupying a big position in an organization. It begins with small things in day-to-day life be it in how you respond to abuse on the street, how you behave in a crowd when you see something blatantly wrong, how you respond to someone who may not be able to do anything for you in your life and who you are when you feel your life is in the trenches.

-How are you revealing your character on a daily basis ?
-Are you humble in your acts and who you are ?
-Does leadership mean only occupying a title and position within an organization?
-How are you influencing those lives whom you touch on a daily basis ?

Top 5 Leadership Lessons From YOGA

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Lalita Raman

 

Are you wondering what yoga has to do with leadership?

I have done yoga for almost 10 years and I still continue to learn not only the yoga poses but what yoga can teach about myself, life and leadership. When I started yoga 10 years back, it was purely as an exercise and to improve my flexibility. Most of the yoga instructors will tell you that yoga is a connection between mind, body and soul and the common link is through your breath. I used to hear this but never quite understood the real essence.
My journey with yoga in the first two-three years, was one of hate and love. However, where I stand today with yoga is one of love, where I have learnt to overcome some of my frustrations of inflexibility. This is where yoga is like leadership, in that a leader doesn’t take credit only when the going is good but stands through tough times and journeys through them.

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Leadership Qualities – Who Am I?

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Don’t wait for something outside of yourself to make you happy.  ~ E. Nightingale

Who Are You ? 

How many times have you been asked this question ? How many times have you asked this question of others? The typical answer that you get or give is that I’m an entrepreneur, investment banker, broker, sales director, CEO & Chairman of XXX Ltd., journalist, a rich man’s son or daughter with a name thrown in…  When we are born, most of us are given a suitcase full of standards, acceptable behavior, things to learn,values & a whole load of do’s and don’ts. As we grow and progress in life we keep adding or throwing away some contents of this suitcase. Each of us thus become a product of the choices we have made or that we have consciously decided not to make.

Since childhood, we have our dreams and we want to make them a reality. Part of these dreams is about what we become and that results in the career we choose.  However, many of us realize either early on or mid-life that the chosen career path is not one we enjoy or one that is necessarily nourishing to our soul.  Sometimes, you are also given a rude shock when you are asked to leave the company.  When life throws these challenges, you ask yourself “Who Am I”? You have always associated yourself with a role, a role of a CEO or chef but when life takes a sudden turn and you are not in that role for a period in time or when you are considering changing your career, you struggle to determine who you are?

Let me give you another example, a woman who becomes a mother and gives herself in being a mother feels a vacuum when her children grow up and move away to follow their own dreams. Each of us associate ourselves with being a sister, a father, a wife, a mother and many other roles played in our personal lives or organization or in our own business. These are all about Doing rather than Being.

Identity crisis comes about when roles no longer exist because of change in circumstances. The longest time you will ever live with someone is “Yourself” so it is imperative that each of us are able to answer the question “Who Am I.” This is an important question and it goes beyond one’s position, job, titles or status in society. These roles are “About You” but they don’t define you nor do they tell who you are, the person you are or the values you represent. Our choices determine who we are and who we will be. The decisions we make each day on every aspect that life presents us with, reveals who we are and what we are.

Yes you can choose to do all the best practices to make you the World’s Best Entrepreneur but what about the Being or To Be? How about being the world’s best entrepreneur in that I’ll be a thoughtful leader who helps others grow, develop and bring out their positive potential? You are the choices you make each day be it your reaction to something, or the people you choose to hang around with.  One’s environment plays a huge role in influencing who we are and the choice of the environment lies with each of us.  It is the festive and holiday season and each of us get to hear our share of Christmas carols and songs at shopping malls, at the gym, parties, restaurants.

I was at my gym for a Christmas Fitathon event last Saturday and as I was enjoying my working out, the song that was being played was Rudolph, The Red Nosed Reindeer. I personally like that song because it is quite peppy and cheers me up. This song got me thinking and I decided to explore a bit on Google to find out the story of Rudolph.  Bob May, the creator of Rudolph the Reindeer in some ways told his own story through Rudolph.  He was a misfit, an outcast, one who probably didn’t fit the single story stereotype. He had a tough childhood and he knew what it was to be different.

Story Links

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He created Rudolph to be different with his red shiny nose and he was always teased for how he looked.  What stood out to me in the story is that Rudolph recognized who he was and used his uniqueness to provide happiness and cheer to the children and many others around the world.

In all this, Bob May in his creation of Rudolph recognized who he was, and used his tenacity and imagination to please his child and at the same time millions around the world for centuries. He didn’t allow his role or his surroundings to pull him down and he worked on his strengths rather than focusing on his deficiencies.

I couldn’t have found a better summary of the Leadership Qualities in Rudolph and the following 7 points is an extract from  Rudolph: One of the Great Leaders of All Time!

“1. Rudolph’s story depicts him stepping up in the face of adversity. Without his willingness to do so, there would have been no leader and no Christmas.

2. Rudolph’s hoofed adventure distinguished him as a beacon of light–clearly identifying him as a leader.

3. Rudolph worked with the team despite his recognition (at least in song) that he was a star.

4. Rudolph surrounded himself with goal-oriented, hard-working reindeer.

5. Rudolph was smart; he was clever enough to survive delivering presents in the South despite having to do so during deer-hunting season!

6. Rudolph always maintained a positive attitude while leading the group.

7. Rudolph embraced his differences and turned them into strengths.”

Each of us can take a leaf out of Bob May’s or Rudolph’s qualities

What determines each of us ? Who Am I?

While this list is not exhaustive these are things I have learnt over the years what is most important to me and one I’m comfortable identifying myself with. Early this year, when I quit Corporate life to pursue a new career, a choice I consciously made, I suffered from an identity crisis and the transition from my role in the Corporate Life to what I do today made me want to put my thoughts of “Who Am I” on paper.

1. Being Compassionate

2. Being Gratuitous

3. Try to constantly renew, receive and reflect on life and my own actions and reactions.

4. Being led by my inner self and not by the external environment.

5. Listening so that I understand

6. Being humble

7. Learning from my mistakes

8. Asking the relevant questions

9. Being tolerant to myself and others especially when I’m frustrated

10.Not being afraid to say No or I don’t know when the situation demands

11. Making a difference each day

12. Learning to smile, to laugh, to let go and to forgive

13. Focusing on developing my strengths and that of others

14. Trusting oneself and letting go of self-limiting beliefs.

15. Being positive. Spreading the smile and act of kindness around in whatever I do and in whatever role I play in my daily life

Let me leave you with the Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer song

Merry Christmas to each of you and May the year 2013 be kind to each of us. Best Wishes. Lalita

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