Little Things That Matter

Learn From The Past, Live The Present and Have An Open Mind to Face Tomorrow

You Will Regret, Not Reading This Right Now

By Leave a Comment

I was at yoga and as I was holding my push up, the instructor asked “have you injured your left shoulder”? Her question took me by surprise. I responded to her in the negative and then I told her that I had a surgery on my right shoulder rotator cuff, three years back. She said that I am slumping on my left shoulder and the injury and the resultant surgery could be the cause.

Push-ups is something I enjoy at yoga and at the gym and it is only on rare occasions that I would do push-ups with my knees down. I was unaware of this slump on my left shoulder whilst I was doing my push-ups. Now that I was aware of this, I was extra conscious of the same and in fact struggled with my push-ups.

And as I was wondering how I could correct it, I remembered the cycle of competence. I wouldn’t necessarily call myself unconsciously competent in doing push-ups but sudden awareness about this slump on my left shoulder made me feel I had regressed to unconscious incompetence.

→As a leader, how many times are you unconsciously incompetent or consciously incompetent and you allow that to stop you from moving forward?

What can you do as a leader to increase your awareness of your team and your own self-awareness through the cycle of competence?

1.Think about your strengths

In moving from stage 1 of unconsciously incompetent to stage 4 of unconsciously competent or stage 5 of reflective competence, rely on your strengths. When you focus on your strengths and your teams’ strengths, it will change your perspective and give you the confidence to move from stage to stage and be on the right path.

2. Think about your challenges

#Life stops when you stop learning and you take an #attitude of “always in the know” #transitions

Click To Tweet

 Growth and development happens when you are ready to let go of your inhibitions.

When you recognize what you do well and be reflective, you are able to create opportunities for yourself and your team. When we are in a negative thinking mode, no insights or breakthroughs are possible and in fact it inhibits our brain from clear thinking.

As a leader, you need to realize that the better you become at something, the more you need to consciously think about how you can get better at that task. Those are the new benchmarks by which you judge the success or failure of who you are or what you do.

In learning a new skill or re-learning a skill, there may be moments when you feel you have regressed to previous stages especially if you fail to practice the new way of doing things or exercise the new skill.

In inspiring others to reach their potential, you need to assess where your team is currently, where is their desired outcome and find out what is creating the gap. Telling your team to fix the problem is not going to close the gap between where they are and the final outcome.

#Coaching is necessary to get members of your team to reach the desired state. #leadership

Click To Tweet

What is necessary for coaching ?

1.Create a safe place

Do not Judge. Judgment creates defensiveness and stops people from expressing and communicating with an open mind. If you want people to feel respected, listen to them, respect their views, create a safe place and help them grow.

2.Focus on way forward

Don’t focus on what went wrong because that will be self-defeating and demotivating. #coaching

Click To Tweet

Keeping focus on how to get to the desired outcomes will help you move forward and help your team overcome the challenges.

3.Be curious

We engage in the world we create. Ask questions instead of telling or giving orders because asking relevant questions keeps people engaged and helps them to think. Asking for your team’s suggestion helps them to be focused and be involved.

4.Get Commitment

Be# goal oriented and get your team to commit to a plan of action. #leadership

Click To Tweet

 A plan of action which you help them to design engages them to give their commitment.

Overall, be it in your progression or your team’s progression, create awareness accompanied by a sense of awakening through coaching and coaching yourself by hiring a coach or self-coaching.

⇒Every leader and trainer and coach should be aware that if the awareness of skill and deficiency is low or non-existent – i.e. the learner is at the unconscious incompetence stage – the person will simply not see the need for learning. Thus it is essential to establish awareness of a weakness or training need (conscious incompetence) prior to attempting to impart or arrange training or skills necessary to move people from stage 2 to 3. People only respond to training and coaching when they are aware of their own need for it, and the personal benefit they will derive from achieving it.⇐

For professional executive coaching either one-on-one or group coaching or training or facilitation please contact me.

image source

The Strength Based Resonant Team Leader

By 4 Comments

Two weeks back, I conducted a workshop on Tips and Tricks To Engage Employees. The focus of this workshop was employee engagement using a neuroscience perspective.

While discussing the neuroscience aspects, one of the points I highlighted was the importance of leaders and managers recognizing the strengths of the people who work with them in their teams or organizations. Strength is the key binding factor in providing certainty, feeling that we have the power of choice in what we do and also being recognized for our talents because we operate from our area of strength. It provides the endorphin to help our brain move towards an engaged and reward state.

One of the participants had a view that in some industries only command and control works and there is no time, especially given the deadlines, for recognizing strengths or working on creating an environment of Certainty, Recognition, Choices or Connection. An interesting discussion ensued in the workshop once this comment was made.

One of my coaching clients during one of her earlier sessions was sharing her challenges at her work place. She has been with her organization for eight years and she was describing how the head of the business was a very tough person, difficult to approach and someone who was curt. She finds her relationship with him much better currently, though there are times she still feels overwhelmed when she is in a meeting with him. Although he is not her boss, she has to have regular meetings with him since she is the CFO. She also narrated another story to me about how she had to contact some experienced people in the field of psychology for one of her assignments on a diploma course she was doing. She shared with me her experience of how she went about doing this.  Listening to her, I shared with her some of her strengths that I had observed.  She was amazed at seeing herself from this perspective that I had mentioned to her.  She had never seen herself nor had anyone mentioned to her that she was persistent, determined and was always ready to face a challenge.  Here was a lady who has faced life with open arms no matter the challenge but was not confident and was not aware about her strength. She is much more confident today with herself having learnt to recognize her strengths and work around her strengths.

  • How many of us have been in organizations where the manager or boss harp on our weakness?
  • How many of you focus on developing your weakness instead of growing and working on your strengths? 
  • How many job interviews seek to understand what motivates you and determine whether that matches the requirement of a job and vision of the company?

Each of us exhibit a number of characteristics including empathy, communication with clarity, a sense of humor, negotiation skills, analyzer, ability to delegate.

  • How many of you have been hired to a job that matched your talents?
  • How many organizations can pride themselves in getting the right talent

Refer my post on Marcus Buckingham Alert: Hiring For Talent 

Each of us has our unique strengths, that, if seeded and nurtured well, has an amazing power to develop and grow. If you promote an environment where each of your team members are empowered and encouraged to grow by using their strengths and talents, you will see your team and the organization grow towards its vision.

Yes, command and control may work well in some situations, but have you given thought to what would be the result if in this kind of environment, the leaders and managers took time to recognize the strengths of their team members and utilized them in achieving the overall vision of the company.

How do you recognize strengths of those who works with you and build on that?

  1. Identify your natural talents (recurring patterns of thought, behavior or feeling)
  2. Refine your talents with knowledge and skill
  3. Apply it in your work and daily life.

What are the most common strengths ? The following is an extract from the book Now, Discover your Strengths by Marcus Buckingham

He has identified 34 strengths which are Achiever, Activator, Adaptability, Analytical, Arranger, Belief (living out your values), Command, Communication, Competition, Connectedness (bridge builder), Consistency, Context (understanding the blueprints), Deliberative, Developer, Discipline, Empathy, Focus, Futuristic, Harmony, Ideation, Includer, Individualization (appreciate the uniqueness n each and don’t like generalizations), Input (inquisitive), Intellection (like to think and introspect), learner, Maximizer, Positivity, Relator (seek genuine relationships), Responsibility, Restorative, Self-assurance, Significance (want to be significant in the eyes of other people), Strategic, and Woo (Winning Over Others).

Leaders in their organizations can start to build a culture which recognizes and promotes strengths and have the recruitment process match the strengths of the individuals to what is required in a job. The job search should start off with describing the dominant talents that is required of a role be it a programmer or an accountant or marketer or a business head. Once these dominant talents in the role is identified, the advertisement or the interview process should challenge the potential candidates to claim these talents. As an ongoing process it is important for leaders to identify what are each individual’s strongest themes or strengths that they display?  How do these relate to the job that needs to be performed and are they getting enough knowledge and skill for further development? How does this relate to how they are managed?

Other questions you can ask:

What is the vision of your company? Why do you what you do?

What are the career aspirations of your team ?

What are their hobbies outside of work ? 

When you make it a priority to sow the seeds for collaborative and collective success, you create and nurture an environment for each of the individuals to thrive and flourish.

How are you helping people become resonant leaders?

Leadership Qualities – Who Am I?

By Leave a Comment

 

Don’t wait for something outside of yourself to make you happy.  ~ E. Nightingale

Who Are You ? 

How many times have you been asked this question ? How many times have you asked this question of others? The typical answer that you get or give is that I’m an entrepreneur, investment banker, broker, sales director, CEO & Chairman of XXX Ltd., journalist, a rich man’s son or daughter with a name thrown in…  When we are born, most of us are given a suitcase full of standards, acceptable behavior, things to learn,values & a whole load of do’s and don’ts. As we grow and progress in life we keep adding or throwing away some contents of this suitcase. Each of us thus become a product of the choices we have made or that we have consciously decided not to make.

Since childhood, we have our dreams and we want to make them a reality. Part of these dreams is about what we become and that results in the career we choose.  However, many of us realize either early on or mid-life that the chosen career path is not one we enjoy or one that is necessarily nourishing to our soul.  Sometimes, you are also given a rude shock when you are asked to leave the company.  When life throws these challenges, you ask yourself “Who Am I”? You have always associated yourself with a role, a role of a CEO or chef but when life takes a sudden turn and you are not in that role for a period in time or when you are considering changing your career, you struggle to determine who you are?

Let me give you another example, a woman who becomes a mother and gives herself in being a mother feels a vacuum when her children grow up and move away to follow their own dreams. Each of us associate ourselves with being a sister, a father, a wife, a mother and many other roles played in our personal lives or organization or in our own business. These are all about Doing rather than Being.

Identity crisis comes about when roles no longer exist because of change in circumstances. The longest time you will ever live with someone is “Yourself” so it is imperative that each of us are able to answer the question “Who Am I.” This is an important question and it goes beyond one’s position, job, titles or status in society. These roles are “About You” but they don’t define you nor do they tell who you are, the person you are or the values you represent. Our choices determine who we are and who we will be. The decisions we make each day on every aspect that life presents us with, reveals who we are and what we are.

Yes you can choose to do all the best practices to make you the World’s Best Entrepreneur but what about the Being or To Be? How about being the world’s best entrepreneur in that I’ll be a thoughtful leader who helps others grow, develop and bring out their positive potential? You are the choices you make each day be it your reaction to something, or the people you choose to hang around with.  One’s environment plays a huge role in influencing who we are and the choice of the environment lies with each of us.  It is the festive and holiday season and each of us get to hear our share of Christmas carols and songs at shopping malls, at the gym, parties, restaurants.

I was at my gym for a Christmas Fitathon event last Saturday and as I was enjoying my working out, the song that was being played was Rudolph, The Red Nosed Reindeer. I personally like that song because it is quite peppy and cheers me up. This song got me thinking and I decided to explore a bit on Google to find out the story of Rudolph.  Bob May, the creator of Rudolph the Reindeer in some ways told his own story through Rudolph.  He was a misfit, an outcast, one who probably didn’t fit the single story stereotype. He had a tough childhood and he knew what it was to be different.

Story Links

Link 1

Link 2

Link 3

He created Rudolph to be different with his red shiny nose and he was always teased for how he looked.  What stood out to me in the story is that Rudolph recognized who he was and used his uniqueness to provide happiness and cheer to the children and many others around the world.

In all this, Bob May in his creation of Rudolph recognized who he was, and used his tenacity and imagination to please his child and at the same time millions around the world for centuries. He didn’t allow his role or his surroundings to pull him down and he worked on his strengths rather than focusing on his deficiencies.

I couldn’t have found a better summary of the Leadership Qualities in Rudolph and the following 7 points is an extract from  Rudolph: One of the Great Leaders of All Time!

“1. Rudolph’s story depicts him stepping up in the face of adversity. Without his willingness to do so, there would have been no leader and no Christmas.

2. Rudolph’s hoofed adventure distinguished him as a beacon of light–clearly identifying him as a leader.

3. Rudolph worked with the team despite his recognition (at least in song) that he was a star.

4. Rudolph surrounded himself with goal-oriented, hard-working reindeer.

5. Rudolph was smart; he was clever enough to survive delivering presents in the South despite having to do so during deer-hunting season!

6. Rudolph always maintained a positive attitude while leading the group.

7. Rudolph embraced his differences and turned them into strengths.”

Each of us can take a leaf out of Bob May’s or Rudolph’s qualities

What determines each of us ? Who Am I?

While this list is not exhaustive these are things I have learnt over the years what is most important to me and one I’m comfortable identifying myself with. Early this year, when I quit Corporate life to pursue a new career, a choice I consciously made, I suffered from an identity crisis and the transition from my role in the Corporate Life to what I do today made me want to put my thoughts of “Who Am I” on paper.

1. Being Compassionate

2. Being Gratuitous

3. Try to constantly renew, receive and reflect on life and my own actions and reactions.

4. Being led by my inner self and not by the external environment.

5. Listening so that I understand

6. Being humble

7. Learning from my mistakes

8. Asking the relevant questions

9. Being tolerant to myself and others especially when I’m frustrated

10.Not being afraid to say No or I don’t know when the situation demands

11. Making a difference each day

12. Learning to smile, to laugh, to let go and to forgive

13. Focusing on developing my strengths and that of others

14. Trusting oneself and letting go of self-limiting beliefs.

15. Being positive. Spreading the smile and act of kindness around in whatever I do and in whatever role I play in my daily life

Let me leave you with the Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer song

Merry Christmas to each of you and May the year 2013 be kind to each of us. Best Wishes. Lalita

Image Source

Marcus Buckingham Alert: Hiring For Talent

By Leave a Comment

Joanne sits back in her chair deep in thought. She is concerned about her daughter Maria who has become very withdrawn, agitated at times and losing interest in whatever she is doing. She has two daughters Ann and Maria who are identical twins. She thinks back on the training and the access to facilities that she has given both her daughters. They have always been given the same training no matter in sport or any other field. Yet, Ann has been a consistent performer and enjoys whatever she does. Maria on the other hand seems disinterested in any of the activities.

Maria has got an innate talent to sing, to write poetry, to draw and she enjoys the few moments in her day when she does what pleases her inner soul. She has no interest in dance, swimming or learning the various languages. She forces herself to go to classes with her sister since her mom wants her to.

  • How many of you have been in a similar position?
  • Or as parents not recognized the innate talents of your children ?
  • How many of us in our organizations have not been recognized for our strengths and our innate talents?
  • How many of us have left our jobs because we feel under-utilized or because of our immediate managers?

Your talent is God’s gift to you. What you do with it is your gift back to God. Leo Buscaglia

Talent is something we are all born with – it is something that drives us, it is the way we think, and it is how we build relationships.  Skills can be taught but not talent. If someone by nature is meticulous and detail oriented or empathetic, these aren’t something you can teach another or even if you do they may not necessarily excel at it. Experience, brain power, and will power are important but it is the talent that carves our recurring thoughts, feelings or behaviors and they explain the Why,Who and How of a person.

Talent is the recurring behavior, feelings and thoughts. Our Strengths are built on fortifying our talents with knowledge and skills

For the Detailed POST, please CLICK THIS LINK 

Image Source

How To Practice Positive Leadership

By Leave a Comment

Pauline is sitting at her desk immersed in her own thoughts and going down the memory lane of her past 30 years.

Pauline still remembers the big day when she was 8 years old. She is waiting for her big day, the final competition for being declared “The Best Child Dancer under 10″ in the biggest competitions held by a TV channel in her country.  She is passionate about dancing and spends hours on her practice. The Finale arrives and she gives a mind-blowing performance. She wins the competition. She gets accolades, awards, appreciation of her performance.  She is exhilarated.

A smile returns to her face when she thinks about this moment.

She has won many awards thereafter not only in her country but also internationally. Dance is her passion but Pauline has always kept it as a hobby rather than make a career out of that. She is multi skilled and has never had any issues in trying out diverse things and out shining in each of those.  She is currently a Senior Executive with a top multinational  – she has spent over 10 years with this Company and has grown in her role.  She is one of the top performers and has contributed to the phenomenal growth of the Company. The Company will face a significant loss if she decides to leave the Company.

Pauline, however is not happy and she rarely shares or shows what is going on beneath the surface.  She continues to give her commitment to her role as a leader, manager and as a senior board member of the organization.  She manages to shut her emotions of not being content whilst she is at work.

A shrill telephone ring shakes Pauline out of her reverie….

Can you picture yourself in Pauline’s shoes ? You bring yourself to work and shut off some of your emotions and over time these get pent-up. No one at work asks you nor does your manager have the time for you, to connect or to find out how you are doing?  You feel like a cog in the wheel and over time it probably affects your productivity and your passion with which you do your work.

Human behavior flows from three main sources: desire, emotion, and knowledge – Plato

Strong emotions & feelings if not recognized tend to be a biggest drain and over time creates a vicious circle of Negative Emotions.

Not recognizing or appreciating the contribution of an individual in an organization affects the performance of not only that person but also the service to clients and possibly the competitive space of the organization.  Many times it isn’t only the financial rewards that count but it is necessary to improve the lines of communication, encourage positive energy which means work on building the strengths of an individual.

An organization is about people and each individual is unique. In meeting and surpassing revenue and growth targets, meeting deadlines, many a manager in an organization forget to truly connect with an individual, their interests and most of all create an environment to make them feel safe and wanted.

For the Full Article please click on the following LINK