Little Things That Matter

Learn From The Past, Live The Present and Have An Open Mind to Face Tomorrow

Archives for October 2012

Life Is Beautiful : Love it, Cherish It, Admire it and Be Gratuitous

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I love flowers, they cheer me up, bring brightness to my day, add the spruce to an otherwise dull day and flowers remind me to be humble yet beautiful in my approach to life.  I click flowers from a garden, bouquet, flower shop, park whilst walking. The Country and place does not matter because no matter where you see a flower, the beauty is immense.

Nature is so beautiful, yet she is humble and shares her love with each of us. She shows no hatred and always showers us with her kindness, love and gratitude.

Flowers gives inspiration from all walks of life, no matter you are a florist, a gardener, a painter, a photographer or a writer.

Earth laughs in flowers.  Ralph Waldo Emerson 

Be like the flower, turn your faces to the sun. Kahlil Gibran

Flowers… are a proud assertion that a ray of beauty outvalues all the utilities of the world.  Ralph Waldo Emerson 

Where flowers bloom so does hope. – Lady Bird Johnson

There are always flowers for those who want to see them. Henri Matisse

We need to find God, and he cannot be found in noise and restlessness. God is the friend of silence. See how nature – trees, flowers, grass- grows in silence; see the stars, the moon and the sun, how they move in silence… We need silence to be able to touch souls.  Mother Teresa 

Forests, lakes, and rivers, clouds and winds, stars and flowers, stupendous glaciers and crystal snowflakes – every form of animate or inanimate existence, leaves its impress upon the soul of man.
Orison Swett Marden

Flowers are restful to look at. They have neither emotions nor conflicts. Sigmund Freud

No man can taste the fruits of autumn while he is delighting his scent with the flowers of spring. Samuel Johnson 

The sun does not shine for a few trees and flowers, but for the wide world’s joy.  Henry Ward Beecher 

Flowers grow out of dark moments. Corita Kent 

I will be the gladdest thing
Under the sun!
I will touch a hundred flowers
And not pick one. ~Edna St. Vincent Millay, “Afternoon on a Hill

Flowers… are a proud assertion that a ray of beauty outvalues all the utilities of the world.  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Bread feeds the body, indeed, but flowers also feed the soul. – The Koran

Photography : Lalita Raman

Copyrights :Lalita Raman

The Zen of Conflict Leadership – 5 Keys to deal with Conflicts

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“The better able team members are to engage, speak, listen, hear, interpret, and respond constructively, the more likely their teams are to leverage conflict rather than be leveled by it” Runde and Flanagan

Conflict is not something many of us like to be in. Many situations of conflict create a feeling of fight or flight. It triggers a lot of negative emotions including anger, turmoil and a sense of threat.

But is conflict really that bad at all times ?

Is it possible to accept conflict as a learning process ?

Peace is not the absence of conflict but it is the ability to deal with Conflict by way of creative alternatives to respond to situations of conflict.

What is Conflict ? Conflict arises from differences of opinion. It arises when people disagree over values, ideas, perceptions or even when led by different motivations.

Conflicts cannot be avoided because no two people can agree on everything at all times.  A better way to resolve conflicts is not to avoid it or runaway from it but deal with it in a constructive and positive manner.  Confidence comes from knowing that you have the skills to communicate in a difficult situation, and you have the ability to diagnose the situation accurately as you choose the best strategy for the situation.

5 Keys to resolving or dealing with conflicts – please click the LINK  for DETAILS

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Do You Make Judgements and Stereotype in the First 60 Seconds?

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Elevator speeches and the necessity to impress someone or a group of people has become the call of the day.

How many times have you judged, hated, or been impressed by someone in less than a minute? So if someone whom you were meeting for the first time were to walk in with a fast pace, looked pre-occupied with something, didn’t really spend time on niceties like how are you, how was your day, and didn’t leave any time for detailed discussion as you are going through the meeting, would you  judge that person to be arrogant, overconfident, impatient and curt?

Even in social media we make judgment about people by looking at the number of followers that each one has. Some people are desperate to get the attention of those who have several followers or have been featured in some write-up that someone on Twitter has done about them and included them in Some Top 50 or 75 lists. An assumption is made by most people, that all those who have appeared in such lists, or have a lot of followers, have a good character and are kind. Sounds familiar? Yes so we judge and get judged in a minute or less.

An elevator speech may be very good but the follow through & delivery may not necessarily follow the impressive Elevator Speech.

So what is important for you to know when you meet someone for the first time and this could be an interview, a meeting with a potential business client, a presentation or a stranger who could turn out to be your friend, or client

  1. How you dress is important and even on Social Media many forget that they can’t show a bad Display Pictures or pictures that don’t represent them. Though you don’t have to be branded from top to toe or bedecked in jewelry or wear revealing clothes how you dress and what you wear is very important.
  2. How you walk into an interview or meeting as well as your body language is something that a lot of people tend to underestimate.
  3. It is not necessary to put on an accent. Be authentic & present your view-point succinctly & with clarity . There is no necessity to be rude nor put on a mask.
  4. One could be dressed well but yet many spoil the show when they open their mouth – words used and the tone of your voice is as important as how you look.
  5. Your facial expressions need to convey your authenticity.

The first impression  is important but you have to follow through with content and substance and have a good closure. What you say has to be consistent with what you do and no matter even if you have managed to impress someone in the first minute or so, if you don’t walk your talk you’ll surely cut a sorry figure.

What can you do as an observer? When you meet someone for the first time make observations, go with your gut feel but don’t jump to conclusions in the first minute. You may have someone who seems to be in a hurry and brusque but may be a person full of kindness & gratitude. Engage the person in the conversation before you judge.

Let me share with you a story – one of my friends (now) who was an ex colleague of mine, when I was working with one of the companies was visibly upset at the first second he saw me even before introductions. He always avoided me, was rather rude in his response if I ever asked him anything & whilst it was a regular practice to have a brief meeting with most of your colleagues in the first few weeks, he always came up with an excuse for not meeting me.  The irony was some people really liked him but there were others who were too scared of him. His behavior did strike me as strange and intrigued me. I was eager to get to know him but after trying very hard for a few months, I decided to step back.

I did judge him but my intuition kept telling me otherwise. Days went by, we got talking to each other, our interactions increased but he was always very brusque when he started talking to me. We parted ways going to different organizations and our paths crossed again in another organization. His behavior was completely the opposite. He gave me the insight about this new firm, called me out for a drink. One day I asked him why his behavior towards me had changed dramatically in that he was so pleasant & friendly. To my surprise he said oh!  “I was upset that you were brought in at a higher rank to me when you joined that organization”. “But over time, I figured out that I was showing the anger on the wrong person. I started liking your style and your ideas, and now with both of us again crossing paths I decided I should make up for the bad behavior”.

Many times some people may behave in a particular way because they are judging you by your title or your connections or position.  This incident taught me that I should not necessarily judge and more importantly write off someone by the way they behave. Yes, we have short attention span and it is important to have elevator speeches but let’s not be in a hurry to assess someone in less than a minute.

“Think not I am what I appear.” Byron, Lord

Do you think that the first minute impressions are valid?

Is it right to make a judgement based on first impressions?

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