Little Things That Matter

Learn From The Past, Live The Present and Have An Open Mind to Face Tomorrow

Archives for October 2014

Emotional Baggage – Unpack Your Trunk

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When I met Beth, a friend of mine, last week, she looked in pain and discomfort. I asked her what was wrong and she said she had gone hiking over the weekend and her shoulders hurt from the heavy load she had carried. Beth is extremely fit and hikes and treks a lot. This, I was surprised to hear about her shoulder ache. She said she had carried an extra heavy bag as a practice for her trek to Mt. Kilimanjaro.

I enjoy hiking and what I dread or dislike the most is to carry a bag on the shoulder with water and some snacks to provide myself the necessary fuel along a long hike.

Carrying a heavy bag on your shoulder is exhausting. Imagine if you had to carry a really heavy bag up a steep mountain. Even the thought of this heavy lifting is exhausting.

If this thought is exhausting, imagine the emotional baggage we carry with us and load our shoulders and mind with the weight possibly day-in and day-out.

Those days when we feel overwhelmed, exhausted and almost feel like tearing our hair apart. Phew, even writing that is exhausting.

How much of worry and stress do we put ourselves through on s day-to-day basis. And the stress that we carry with us affects not only us but others because we show it in our behavior, our body language and our facial expression.

You may say that in this day and age who doesn’t have stress and worry? But do we really need to put ourself and others through this?

Can we step out of our negative thoughts and clear our mind from this emotional baggage? Emotional baggage is burdensome and debilitating, especially if carried over a long time. Stress shows up in various forms and it can affect our self-confidence, our communication with others, our relationships and thus our people skills and of course our ability to inspire and making a positive influence on others.

How do we get over our emotional baggage and the overwhelm factor?

1. What is the worst case scenario?

There are many things, situations, conversations, events that we stress about. In hindsight, we realize that a lot of things where we over think or stress did not happen. Personally, for me asking this question helps me to remind myself that there is a way out and to get the facts clear in my own mind. Asking yourself this question helps you to face your fears, apprehensions and look at things more objectively.

2. What are you resisting?

This helps you to determine if your assumptions are based on inner fears, conjectures or facts. Once you determine your facts, ask yourself what is the worst that can happen? Prepare to accept the worst – this is about your mindset and how much price are you willing to pay ( in terms of your time, your emotional state and your health) to continue to worry about something. Once you have prepared to accept the worst, put efforts to improve on the worst. This process takes the load of your mind and helps you to face a situation objectively without falling a victim to the overwhelm factor.

3. Positivity

Negativity is a vicious circle and one any of us can get easily entangled in it. To snap out of negativity, each of us need to find ways. Negative thinking and stress is good as long as it enables you to move forward. However, if the negativity is only going to lead you to irritation, stress and being engaged in a blame game, let it go.

4. Problem or Imagined

How many of the problems that you conjure up in your head or mind come to fruition? Ask yourself, What is the problem? Is it real or imagined? What are the causes of this problem? What are the possible solutions to tackle this ? What is the best solution?

5. Idle mind

An idle mind is a devils’ workshop. Keep yourself busy instead of engaging in irrelevant conversations and meaningless gossip. Ask yourself is it really worth fussing about trifles? Not everything in life goes as per your plans nor is everything under your control. If you cannot control what is the point in worrying? Have the mindset to accept the situation and face it and deal with it to achieve your desired outcome. What resources do you have to get help to deal with the situation at hand?

#Mindfulness and #presence happens in the moments of #choice. #leadfromwithin #life

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 It is entirely up to each of us how we learn to deal with the roller coaster events of life.

Are you going to pick yourself up, dust yourself and choose to move forward?
Or
Are you going to be overwhelmed and give up?

Our #thoughts matter and you can control your thoughts and #choose how the moments in your day look and feel. #makeithappen

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Top 10 Courtesies To Show Your Humanity

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On my way to work the other day, I saw a vehicle which had “Boston University” written in bold red color right next to the license plate. I wondered why they would have that sign displayed on the car. I couldn’t help think if it was a display of insecurity, high handed-ness or was it just being boastful and a display of titles.

Looking at this vehicle with the sign of “Boston University” displayed brought back memories of an incident while I was working with one of the organizations. A gentleman from one of our overseas office stands by my desk, throws his business card, taps my desk and says do you know who I am? I was irritated at the disrespect and lack of courtesy he showed. I turned around and remarked, sorry you are disturbing me and I don’t know who you are, would you care to introduce yourself? He again taps on his business card and says he is the head of sales…..

You don’t need a title to be a #leader. #leadership #leadfromwithin #peopleskills

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You don’t need a set of qualifications and titles next to your name to show who you are. In fact the more you display your titles, the more you are possibly conveying the wrong message to your audience.

What are the simple courtesies that you need to remember in order to relate to another person or influence the other person positively?

1. Say “thank you”, “please”, ‘you’re welcome”, “sorry”, “may I” …

These are simple words yet have a long-lasting impact when used with sincerity and genuineness. Use them often and mean it when you say it.

2. Acknowledge

Would you like to be ignored? If not, why would you not want to return phone calls or acknowledge emails from your colleagues or friends? If you think “you matter”, so do others. There is nothing worse than ignoring somebody with your silence by way of not returning phone calls or responding to emails.

3. Be Kind

Throwing a business card or exchanging business cards (as much as it may be a habit from so-called culture) is not the way to get to know someone or introduce yourself or to start a relationship. Life is short and it is not Tories or business cards that matter. Find ways to be kind in the way you strike, build or continue a relationship.

4. Committed To Your Word

Talking your talk is important and don’t forget that walking your talk is imperative. You may be a good marketer and have the gift of gab but finally your true colors will be known when you are not committed to your word. Your word is you and represents your brand.

5. Words of Encouragement

Empower yourself and others through your words of support and encouragement. Praise every improvement that you have observed in somebody and make them feel appreciated and important because they deserve it.

6. Silence

There is a time to be silent and a time to speak up. Know the appropriateness of the moment. Don’t throw your weight around with your titles and inappropriate actions and words.

7. Ask Questions

By asking relevant and appropriate questions you can strike a chord with somebody. Asking is better than telling. By giving orders, you aren’t going to get further in any relationship.

8. Value of Your Time

Time once lost can never be gained back. You snooze, you lose. I find it amazing when people don’t respect punctuality. Emergencies happen but not on a regular basis.

Show #courtesy for other’s #time by showing up on time and making it well it’s worth. #life #leadfromwithin

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9. Listen

The best #gift you can give someone is your #time and undivided attention. #leadfromwithin #life #courtesy

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If you are in a conversation with someone, be in the moment and listen. There is no use listening selectively or pretending to listen. 

#Listen with your #heart and listen to understand. #leadfromwithin #leadership #EI #communication #peopleskills

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10. Let Go

Give in and let go because sometimes that may be better for yourself and others. This is probably one of the most difficult to implement every time. Self –awareness via gentle reminders to yourself helps you to let go.

People may forget whom a business card belongs to or your titles but they will never forget how you made them feel. Take the responsibility to make people feel valued and important in your interactions because they matter and you matter. Inspire and lead by example and with your actions.

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