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Emotional Baggage – Unpack Your Trunk

22 October 2014 By Lalita Raman 1 Comment

When I met Beth, a friend of mine, last week, she looked in pain and discomfort. I asked her what was wrong and she said she had gone hiking over the weekend and her shoulders hurt from the heavy load she had carried. Beth is extremely fit and hikes and treks a lot. This, I was surprised to hear about her shoulder ache. She said she had carried an extra heavy bag as a practice for her trek to Mt. Kilimanjaro.

I enjoy hiking and what I dread or dislike the most is to carry a bag on the shoulder with water and some snacks to provide myself the necessary fuel along a long hike.

Carrying a heavy bag on your shoulder is exhausting. Imagine if you had to carry a really heavy bag up a steep mountain. Even the thought of this heavy lifting is exhausting.

If this thought is exhausting, imagine the emotional baggage we carry with us and load our shoulders and mind with the weight possibly day-in and day-out.

Those days when we feel overwhelmed, exhausted and almost feel like tearing our hair apart. Phew, even writing that is exhausting.

How much of worry and stress do we put ourselves through on s day-to-day basis. And the stress that we carry with us affects not only us but others because we show it in our behavior, our body language and our facial expression.

You may say that in this day and age who doesn’t have stress and worry? But do we really need to put ourself and others through this?

Can we step out of our negative thoughts and clear our mind from this emotional baggage? Emotional baggage is burdensome and debilitating, especially if carried over a long time. Stress shows up in various forms and it can affect our self-confidence, our communication with others, our relationships and thus our people skills and of course our ability to inspire and making a positive influence on others.

How do we get over our emotional baggage and the overwhelm factor?

1. What is the worst case scenario?

There are many things, situations, conversations, events that we stress about. In hindsight, we realize that a lot of things where we over think or stress did not happen. Personally, for me asking this question helps me to remind myself that there is a way out and to get the facts clear in my own mind. Asking yourself this question helps you to face your fears, apprehensions and look at things more objectively.

2. What are you resisting?

This helps you to determine if your assumptions are based on inner fears, conjectures or facts. Once you determine your facts, ask yourself what is the worst that can happen? Prepare to accept the worst – this is about your mindset and how much price are you willing to pay ( in terms of your time, your emotional state and your health) to continue to worry about something. Once you have prepared to accept the worst, put efforts to improve on the worst. This process takes the load of your mind and helps you to face a situation objectively without falling a victim to the overwhelm factor.

3. Positivity

Negativity is a vicious circle and one any of us can get easily entangled in it. To snap out of negativity, each of us need to find ways. Negative thinking and stress is good as long as it enables you to move forward. However, if the negativity is only going to lead you to irritation, stress and being engaged in a blame game, let it go.

4. Problem or Imagined

How many of the problems that you conjure up in your head or mind come to fruition? Ask yourself, What is the problem? Is it real or imagined? What are the causes of this problem? What are the possible solutions to tackle this ? What is the best solution?

5. Idle mind

An idle mind is a devils’ workshop. Keep yourself busy instead of engaging in irrelevant conversations and meaningless gossip. Ask yourself is it really worth fussing about trifles? Not everything in life goes as per your plans nor is everything under your control. If you cannot control what is the point in worrying? Have the mindset to accept the situation and face it and deal with it to achieve your desired outcome. What resources do you have to get help to deal with the situation at hand?

#Mindfulness and #presence happens in the moments of #choice. #leadfromwithin #life

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 It is entirely up to each of us how we learn to deal with the roller coaster events of life.

Are you going to pick yourself up, dust yourself and choose to move forward?
Or
Are you going to be overwhelmed and give up?

Our #thoughts matter and you can control your thoughts and #choose how the moments in your day look and feel. #makeithappen

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Filed Under: Attitude, Character, Communication, Emotions, Habits, Health, Lead From Within, Leadership & Personal Development, Life, Meditation, Mindfulness Tagged With: emotional baggage, hike, leadfromwithin, positivity, Resilience, stress, weight lifting

Daring To Live On The Edge

24 March 2012 By Lalita Raman Leave a Comment

I love anything that is daring and adventurous. Some of my crazy adventures in the past have been Sky Diving, Bungee Jumping, jumping off a cliff into the water without knowing swimming, crazy roller coaster rides….

I love hiking and between October-March every year I go for treks every Saturday and Sunday, since the weather is perfect where I live. My love for hiking are many and I had mentioned these in one of my earlier blog posts Re: “Top 5 reasons to Hike”

I have always disliked going downhill (just like in real life 😉 ) and although I have improved remarkably over the years in terms of taking that right step while treading downhill, my mind treads the path downhill with apprehension. Most of this has risen from my innumerable falls and accidents therefrom, on the downhill.

Last Sunday, I decided to hike up Sharp Peak on my own.
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I have hiked up Sharp Peak twice before but along with friends. I enjoy treks with a group of friends but not sure why this time, I decided to enjoy my solitude and hike up this peak on my own. The weather was on the hot side, 28-30 C.

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The hiking route has several patches of rocks and stones and it is a steep path with no railings to hold. It is challenging but a true enjoyment for a hiker and once you reach the top you are treated to some spectacular scenic views of nature. I would say the scenic view in itself is worth the effort.

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Going down Sharp Peak can get tricky especially because of the uneven path filled with sharp rocks and stones. I suffer from a bad back and I am still recovering from a shoulder surgery which I underwent 10 weeks back. However, I have not allowed any of my personal mishaps to deter me from living life with hope and enthusiasm.

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I have always taken the help of a friend’s hand whilst going down a difficult hill but this time it was different. I decided to overcome that apprehension and the fear, let’s say I decided to “Move That Stone” in my own mind and I achieved it. The best part was I did not fall and although I was sun-burnt I did not meet with any accidents.

So what was different this time – I started off with apprehension but I guess I found my feet and I was in the Zone. To me, zone is emotional and it is about making that connection. I felt a flow of focus and concentration take over me and what I saw were the rocks in front of me and the path I should choose to make my way down.

I felt at peace and exhilarated when I reached the bottom of the hill.

What Did I Learn

In hindsight, all I can say is being conscious of my fear I used it thoughtfully and purposefully and I harnessed my fear correctly.

Each of us is the only one who can come to terms with our fear. Fear can be our biggest friend or enemy. The choice is ours to make.

It is not the doubt and uncertainty that cripples one but It’s the actions one takes or fails to take that determines how we overcome that emotion. What one thinks and does has the biggest influence on our results.

….And I am returning to the drawing board this Sun which will possibly me the last of my big treks till the onset of fall and winter.

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Images : Lalita Raman

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Filed Under: Hike, Life Tagged With: bungee jumping, cliff, fear, hike, peace, Sharp Peak, Sky diving, treks, Water, zone

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