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11 Credible Ways To Enhance Your Credibility

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→Would you attend a workshop or a seminar or a speech by someone with no experience or ethos on their topic?
→Would you invest your money in a fund which has no track record nor does the fund manager have any relevant experience?
→Would you trust a real estate agent who has let you down previously?
→Would you be inspired by a leader who does not walk their talk and is not committed?

Your answer to all this is probably “NO”.

Last week, when I was delivering a training and going through the structure on how to agree to disagree and yet keep the communication lines open and the relationship intact some participants expressed concern on the process not working in a situation that they were facing. I shared with them an exact similar experience I faced during my corporate days and how we disagreed agreeably and the final goal was achieved. The participants didn’t know what to say and in fact their demeanor changed for the rest of the session. I had built my credibility with the participants by sharing with them a real experience when this process had worked.

What is credibility? Where does it come from and why is it important?

#Credibility is the #trust, #respect and #reliability that you create in your #actions.

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Credibility comes from your experience, from the way you behave, from who you are in what you do, what you say and how you do and how you say it.

#Credibility is required in every walk of your life and in every role that you play. #peopleskills

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There are eleven important elements to CREDIBILITY

1. Character

Your #character is one of the pillars of your #Credibility. #impression #peopleskills

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. No matter the adversities that you are facing in your life, your character has to stand through the test of time. Your core values determine who you are and your character needs to reflect that.

2.Respect

Respect is earned by your word, your behavior and actions. The more expertise you have, the greater your credibility.

3. EI

Being self-aware of your actions and the impact of your emotions on yourself and others. Do you have empathy for others? How do you manage your emotions in the moment of choice?

4. Diversity

Are you diverse in your thoughts, approaches to various challenges, and in your actions and behavior? Do you walk your talk on diversity?

5. Integrity

What are the choices you make in every moment? Are you committing to something that you consistently fail to deliver? By not keeping up your word, you build a bad image for yourself and sacrifice your integrity.

6. Buoyant

Negativity breeds negativity and you know how demoralizing that can be. Be optimistic and cheerful despite the odds in life.

7. Intuition

Trust your instincts and gut. You need to know yourself inside out. Is your behavior and actions reflecting your core values? Are you a person who can be relied upon?

Do you stay #true to your word? #credibility #trust #peopleskills #communication #image

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8. Leadership

You increase your credibility with all the above factors. You are someone who knows that the only way to get the best out of an argument is to avoid it. You learn from mistakes and are willing to accept your mistakes. You enhance your credibility when you lead by example and inspire others.

9. Ingenious

Your credibility is enhanced when you show how resourceful and inspiring you can be by your actions and behavior. I was prepared for the what in the training room and I dealt with the how by being present to what was happening in the room.

#Life is not a script and it is up to each of us to be enterprising to the situation at hand.

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10.Thoughtfulness

You could have years of experience, an excellent IQ but without being thoughtful to others feelings and emotions, you cannot get credibility nor maintain credibility. Be considerate to others and care for others.

11. Yes

Credibility is saying yes to all of the above because “you matter” and thus your credibility.

 

How do you bring credibility to what you do?

How do you add credibility to who you are?

Are you looking to enhance your executive presence, improve the way you communicate and inspire others as a leader? Please connect with me for one-on-one coaching or group workshops or webinars or learn more on what suits your needs.

 

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The Secret To Strong Self-Esteem

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You see it in others, you feel it in yourself when you exude it and yet you can only describe it by acts of doing instead of being. What is it?

It is Confidence you see in others and you describe it by what they do and how they do it.

You feel your own #self-esteem and people see you exude #self-confidence in what you do and say. #leadfromwithin

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  Each of us have self-esteem and we find this even on the dullest moments and on days we want to give up. Self-esteem is not something that can be taken away from us.

Yet, we don’t recognize that we have it and in moments of adversity it is our self-esteem that enables us to bounce back.

It is not about bragging or being narcissistic but it is about who you are, what you are good at and the humility to know and accept what you are not so good at.

Over the weekend, I watched the movie 100 Foot Journey. There is a scene in the movie where Hassan (the lead character) prepares a pigeon dish for his competitor, Madame Mallory. The way Hassan presents the dish to her is with complete confidence in his ability and you notice that as an observer. Of course, he doesn’t get the appreciation that he expects from Madame Mallory. Later in the movie, Hassan, having heard that Madame Mallory hires potential chefs by taste-testing an omelet they prepare for her, asks if he may cook an omelet for her. Citing his injured hands, he says Madame Mallory will have to help him with the process.

After sampling his cooking, Madame Mallory concedes to his potential to be a great chef.

He states to her that he was sure that he had made the first dish and the omelet exactly the way she liked and he was confident that she would like it.

The way this character exudes confidence is memorable.

Self Confidence comes from having the self-esteem about yourself.

#Self-esteem is about being #positive and believing in yourself and what you can do. #leadfromwithin

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  It is also about how you see yourself. Self-esteem gives you that wand to believe in yourself, respect and like yourself, accept your challenges and keep an open mind to learn, develop and continue to grow on the path of excellence. In this movie, Hassan has self-esteem and that enables him to learn, try out new things and excel in his goal and path. It is his self- esteem and self-confidence that enables him to reach the heights of success and yet make the choice when he feels he is at a crossroad.

How do you build your self-esteem and that of others?

1. Listen

Listening is the best gift you can give someone to build their self-esteem and confidence.

2. Encourage

As a child our parents encouraged us to step out of our comfort zone, be adaptable and believe in oneself. Each of us need encouragement no matter our age or gender.

2. Appreciate

As a child we love receiving praise and we get appreciated in the small things we do. However, we never stop wanting to be appreciated no matter our age or gender.

3. Plan ahead

Life is a challenge and it is an untrodden path. Be open to respond with spontaneity on the surprises. And don’t forget that preparation and planning in every aspect of life goes a long way. So, If you want to be a good speaker, prepare, practice and earn the right to speak it and do it with authenticity.

5. Strengths

Be aware of your strengths and use them. Be adaptable because sometimes these very strengths could become your down player. Hassan in this movie had a gift and passion for cooking. He was a natural at it and he knew it, yet he was ready to learn and adapt to become successful.

Self-esteem is something we all have and we can adopt a mindset where we allow us to build our self-confidence with honor and humility.

For Coaching, Speaking and Training let’s connect

The Not So Random Acts of Kindness

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You are tired, have had a bad day, your feet is aching. You see someone who is unable to stand, get into the bus you have just boarded. Would you give your seat to this person?

Random acts of kindness brighten another’s day and gives pleasure to the person engaged in the act of kindness. Kindness is typically spoken in terms of being nice, caring for others or doing something.

Have you thought of kindness as not doing or saying something? Click to Tweet

Three years ago, I was getting out of my gym and slipped just outside the building and twisted my ankle. The twist was so bad that I was unable to stand up on my own. For a good two to three minutes I was wreathing in pain and not a single soul in the busy city that I live in bothered to ask me, if I need help. Suddenly I saw a Good Samaritan come running across the road and asked me if I need help and helped me stand up.  This is a conscious act of kindness.

Kindness to me is

What you say or don’t

What you do or don’t

Who you are in your actions and behavior Click to Tweet

Aren’t being kind all of these:

1. Silence – when you know someone has made a mistake at work, do you embarrass the person in front of others or take the person aside and ask questions in a way that they realize their mistake? Calling to another person’s mistakes indirectly is an act of kindness because you appreciate that the person has done a mistake and you give an opportunity to that person to correct their mistake.

2. Speak up – there is no point in saying you care about women and stand up against violence against women when you partake in hearing and passing sexist comments. Silently hearing these comments is as good as being a participant. Passing cheap comments on social media about animals or women or any human is not being kind. If you are part of a  “bystander effect” you are not kind.

3. Humor – in life you can’t be all serious and not have fun. Use humor but not to assassinate somebody’s character or to insult somebody. You are kind if you decide not to pass that cheap humor or sarcastic comment.

4. Being right – even if you are right, there comes many a situation in life, it is better to be kind than proving you are right. This can be difficult many times but think of situations when it is better to let go because you know that you’ll possibly make it worse to prove you are right.

5. Sorry – if you are sorry say “Sorry”, not “I’m sorry but”. What is the use of an apology with buts? Click To Tweet

6. Thoughts and actions – a smile, a hug, offering a seat in a public transport to somebody, holding the door open for someone, volunteering are all acts of Kindness. And, don’t forget many a time not acting in a particular way or not saying something is an act of kindness too. Respect another person’s time and keep up your word and commitment. Click to Tweet

7. Anger – Not giving in to your anger is an act of kindness no matter how right you are.

8. Forgiveness – this is a tricky one especially if that person whom you have to forgive has hurt you deeply. But the best way to think about this is you need to be kind to yourself and in that self-compassion forgive the other person or block that bad memory so that you don’t agonize yourself over the hurt.

9. Listening – Not burying your head in your phone when you are in a meeting at work or off work is giving respect to the person who is having a conversation with you. Being genuinely interested in the other person (not probing) is an act of kindness too. Listening with your heart and soul is the best gift you can give someone. Click To Tweet

10. How are you? – when someone asks you How Are you? Be kind to them in responding rather than giving a mechanical answer. The care that a person shows you by thinking about you and asking about your wellbeing is a kind act and one that needs to be cherished.

Mind your manners in public or on social media. You may think that it is your timeline and that gives you a right to behave in any, which way you want to. However, you reveal your character and the acts of ill mannerism speak volumes about You more than anyone else.

There is always more room for kindness. In this day and age where stress levels are high and emotional intelligence is the order of the day, why not be kind ?

Kindness is a way of showing others that they matter and that even in the face of stress and hostility, you can still be kind. Click To Tweet

For Coaching, Speaking or Training please connect with Lalita Raman.

The Vulnerability In Relationships

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I was watching some Ted Talk Videos over the weekend and one of them was on The Power Of Vulnerability. 
This got me thinking about relationships. Relationships are made or marred many times on vulnerability.
There have been numerous cases of abuse, bullying, domestic violence and all this is evidence of putting someone in a vulnerable state or taking advantage of them.
Yet, at other times when we are in a crisis, may be stranded on account of bad weather conditions or losing a job in a close down or merger situation, some of the best relationships are formed during such situations. “Vulnerability is the core, the heart, the center, of meaningful human experiences according to Brené Brown in her book How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent and Lead.
Vulnerability here does not mean being submissive or weak. It involves uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure which is well articulated by Brené Browne in her book.
When we see read or hear stories, see videos, hear presentations or empathize with the events in our daily life it is the vulnerability and authenticity which enables us to make that connection. Connection which is an important part of relationships is what gives meaning and purpose to our daily life.
Relationship is about:
1.Respect – you can shine your light but it is not necessary to knock down someone else or dim another’s light. Even if the relationship is not something that you favor, respect is an important element. Respect yourself enough to avoid being taken advantage of. Surround yourself with positivity and compassion for yourself and others.
2.Empathy – the ability to mutually experience the thoughts, emotions, and direct experience of others is an important element in any relationship.
3.Love – the most profound emotion that is an essential part of any relationship.
4.Appreciation – in the world we live today, we forget to appreciate ourselves, our relationships and the moments of life. Appreciation is unconditional and does not contain words like “But”, “However”.
5.Trust – establishing rapport is the start of good relationships. Trust is the pillar of any relationship be it with spouse, parents, siblings, shop keeper, colleagues.
6.Integrity – To me it is the Congruence of I Believe, I Value, I Think, I Feel, I Say, I Do.
7.Obedience – is a matter of the heart. It is about what you feel from within and to be accountable and responsible in a relationship.
8.Nurture – to do and be all that is necessary to grow and enrich the relationship.
9.Space – the little space we allow and create in each of our relationships, be it a friend, spouse, sister, brother or parents, keeps it healthy and allows the relationship to nurture and grow.
10.Honesty – truthfulness, sincerity and frankness in who you are.
11.Interesting – compassion and appreciation for ourselves and others keeps the relationship interesting. Compassion is born of awareness of the choices we are making and the impact of each of these actions on others.
12.Power of Communication – know when to be silent and when to speak up. Not communicating breaks the best of relationships. Conflicts, differences of opinions arise in every relationship. The intent is to disagree agreeably and keep the relationship healthy.  Listening is important to build relationships, because that is where you show empathy and that you truly care.
13.Support – strength in a relationship lies in the support you give to that relationship and that you receive. The ebb and flow of relationship requires mental toughness and support.
Relationship is not about opportunities and using it for those opportunities. Relationships to me means someone with whom you can share your completeness, be it a friend, a life partner, sister, brother, mother or father. A relationship should be one that recognizes you for what you are, challenges you, and allows you to grow.
Let your relationships be one in which you
 
Let yourselves be seen
Practice gratitude and be joyful
Love with your hearts
Are kind and compassionate to yourselves and others
Your willingness to be vulnerable and accept vulnerability establishes and maintains the connection and the authenticity in relationships.
What are some of the ways you have been courageous to be vulnerable and made a connection?
For Individual or Group Coaching, Speaking, Workshops and or Training please connect with Me
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How To LOSE IN LEADERSHIP?

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I was at my friend’s place last week for dinner. She has 2 kids, a son and daughter. We were chatting and in the midst of a discussion, her daughter Nikita, comes up to her Dad and reminds him that it is her time to play chess with him.  Despite being told that he will play with her later, she insists.  He consents and tells her that she will play the game without playing any pranks.  Nikita is a junior chess champion at  a State level for girls under 10 years. Her dad, although not a champion has always been an expert in chess. We were watching them play and Nikita suddenly turned to her mom and asked her a question on what she should do.  I also noticed that she didn’t just ask for a solution but explained what her strategy was and consulted her mother on which option she should choose as the next step.
John was having some morale issues among his team. He had 5 direct reports though he was responsible for a team of fifty. He decided he will conduct a survey to determine the engagement and satisfaction among his team. At the end of one month, the time period given for completing the survey, only fifteen of his team members had responded and that too those that he had coaxed into responding. Based on the results of fifteen members who took the survey, John concluded that he was not the reason for the low morale issue.
What do these two different individuals teach you ? Nikita teaches you to lose like a leader. John is an example of how with his title, is self-centered, egoistic and supports his own press.
Leadership is not always about winning or about titles or elevated status. As leaders you can lose, and yet inspire your followers and have respect
Five Behaviors To Lose As A Leader
  1. Your control and micromanagement – if instead of managing teams you micromanage by refusing to delegate leads to mistrust and low morale. You don’t allow people to grow and develop and utilize their talents.
  2. Fear – as a leader you don’t need to know all the answers. Lose your fear of asking questions and finding out from people who may be experts or have the knowledge. Nikita consulted her mom when she was unsure about the next move she should choose to achieve her strategy.
  3. Manipulation – you don’t necessarily become a leader by occupying a position of a leader in an organization You have to earn the respect and trust of your team or people whom you work with. Without appreciating your team, empathizing with their views, needs or alternate views, your team can get disengaged. John didn’t want to take responsibility for the low morale among his team members. He tried to force some of his team members to fill the survey and get the results he desired. He shut out the truth.
  4. Withholding information – you cannot gain trust by revealing and sharing information that suits you. Self-serving behavior is a slippery slope and a prelude to an organization’s failure.
  5. Bad attitude – You can lose your ego and be humble. Humility will make you likable and earn the respect of your team. Whilst as a leader you are not expected to know everything, you need to keep abreast of the developments. You have to be credible.

As leaders, you would do well in losing your ego, arrogance, need to demand respect and be liked.

As you scale up the path in an organization or in your business as a leader and part of senior management, it probably gets lonely at the top. The responsibility that many leaders feel for their team and people creates a fear of failure and possibly a lack of Executive Presence. Many leaders get overwhelmed and start denying reality.
Life at work or in an organization has challenges that sometimes feels as if it saps the energy out of you. There are a wide range of emotions that you will experience and confront as a leader.  However as a leader, why fear in seeking help to get on a path of personal development and avoiding the pitfalls and letting your inner gremlin bewilder you?  A coach or mentor can assist you in the shift you want to make in your professional development and growth.
Reflective Questions
1. As a leader are you known for your integrity?
2. Why do you want to lead? What does leadership mean to you?
3. What have you learned from losing?
For Coaching, Facilitating and Speaking Connect.  About Lalita Raman
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10 Leadership Lessons From My Mom

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Today is Mother’s Day and normally I don’t write blog posts on my mother on this day. A mother, I believe is someone who needs to be honored, loved, cared every single day and not just on Mother’s Day. Why did I decide to write a blog post this year?

I was having a chat with a business colleague yesterday and we were discussing leadership, qualities of a leader and people who have inspired each of us. On the topic of inspiration, many have inspired me but none better than my mom and my dad. Since the discussion is fresh in my mind and Mother’s Day is today, I thought, why not translate these thoughts into a blog post.

My mom has never considered herself as a leader and even if you tell her she probably doesn’t understand how she can be a leader.

My mom is in her 70’s and she comes from a conservative background. She got married when she was 19 and she has always been a housewife who always found pleasure in looking after her home, her family and in building a temple of values.

Why do I consider my mom as a leader ?

For the full post refer to the LINK

9 Essentials To Integrity

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When we are born, most of us are given a suitcase full of standards, acceptable behavior, things to learn, emotions, values & a whole load of do’s and don’ts. As we grow and progress in life we keep adding or throwing away some contents of this suitcase. Each of us thus become a product of the choices we have made or that we have consciously decided not to make.

In my case, when I was growing up, one of the principles in my house was that we had to tell the truth and that was one of the standards set as part of my suitcase. Lying, was something that was not acceptable no matter how painful it may be to speak the truth.

Children need rules to learn the difference between right and wrong. To a child, the difference between truth and lies is as crystal clear as the difference between black and white. However as we grow older, the concept of truth many times attains a different connotation and stating a small white lie or not stating some key facts might be considered appropriate in our own minds.

However, the problem is that each of us have different standards on why, what, when, and how we choose to state the truth or shade it.  Integrity thus is sacrificed many times, though each human being may consider it as part of their integral values.

What is Integrity – To me it is the Congruence of I Believe, I Value, I Think, I Feel, I Say, I Do.

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I N T E G R I T Y is:

Inner realization– There is a self-awareness of each of our actions and these actions are not just to please the outside world but one which satisfies our inner conscience.

Natural – To be You rather than someone else artificial and manufactured and be comfortable in your own skin. I stay true to myself and my style & I am always pushing myself to be aware of that & be original.

Trust– can be built and earned only if our audio and video is in sync. We have to walk the talk rather than talk the talk. Trust is a plant of slow growth and built over time by being consistent and reliable.

Excellent – Be outstanding in whatever  you do. Setting standards in all we do and consistently following these standards.

Good– Be Kind, show gratitude and spread the good word and deed.

Respect- The measure of a man’s real character is what he would do if he knew he never would be found out. It is better to be respected than liked

Involvement – Let your Actions speak louder than words and be inspiring. Each of us must lead by example.

Thoughtful– Treat everyone just like the way you would like to be treated.

Yes to each of the above

It is important to nurture and maintain integrity in whatever we seek to believe, value, think, be, and do just like when you make the decision to plant a new seed and water it daily and take care even after the seed grows to a plant

Bottom-line Integrity once lost or compromised beyond recognition is very difficult to rebuild.

What does Integrity Mean to You. Please feel free to add your point of view in the comments section below. Thank you.

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