Little Things That Matter

Learn From The Past, Live The Present and Have An Open Mind to Face Tomorrow

  • Email
  • LinkedIn
  • Twitter
  • Home
  • About Lalita Raman
  • Connect With Me

6 Fences To Build For Yourself

10 January 2017 By Lalita Raman Leave a Comment

Recently, I watched the movie Fences, in which Troy Maxson (Denzel Washington) makes his living as a sanitation worker in 1950s Pittsburgh. Maxson once dreamed of becoming a professional baseball player, but was deemed too old when the major leagues began admitting black athletes. Bitter over his missed opportunity, Troy creates further tension in his family when he squashes his son’s (Jovan Adepo) chance to meet a college football recruiter (source IMDb)

In this movie, Troy decides to build a fence around his house and he does this over several years and it is finally completed near the end of the movie. What has the name Fences got to do with the movie? It could be a depiction of Troy’s way of keeping his fears out or could be construed as him trying to build the emotional barriers between himself and his sons. It could also be interpreted as Rose’s (Troy’s wife) way of keeping her family protected and safe.

As I was watching the movie, I was thinking of what Fences are we building around our self and which of them do we really need?

What are the fences that we need to build and what do we need to get rid of ?

⇒6 Fences you may want to consider to build

 

1.Lighten Your Load

Often, when we travel, we carry heavy baggage that slows us down. A lot of this heavy baggage, in daily life, comes from negativity and getting stuck in our way of thinking. You can break the fences, by keeping an open mind and a positive attitude. Keeping a frozen mind does not help us to see things from a different perspective.

Try honestly to see things from the other person’s #perspective to lighten your load. #resilience

Click To Tweet

2.Believe In Yourself

The grass looks greener on the other side and it does not have to be if you believe in yourself and keep your expectations optimistically positive. Unless and until your trust yourself and believe in your abilities and work towards your dream, no one else will.

Believing in yourself means breaking down the fences of self-doubt and fear. #transitions

Click To Tweet

 

Learn from every experience by asking what you did well and what you could do different. #leadership

Click To Tweet

3.Be Accountable

Are you clear about your priorities? Do you evaluate and reflect on them often? It is important to determine what is important along a time frame – 1 year, 6 months, 3 months, and so on and fine tune it to a daily basis. Trying to please everyone is not possible and take responsibility in setting boundaries that will help you to say yes only to things that are important.

Setting priorities and non-negotiable boundaries/fences will help you to be #accountable.

Click To Tweet

4.Listen

Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves – Dale Carnegie.

As a human being and a leader, it is about how well you listen. You may have the gift of gab and it takes self-regulation and awareness to step back and listen. Are you building fences in a way that stops you from listening to others?

5.Care

Do you care for your team and build relationships? Do you connect with your team and build rapport and trust with them? Are you, your clients trusted advisor? Make people with whom you work realize that they matter and appreciate them for things they do well.

Don’t build a fence around yourself from connecting with your team and who they are. #leadership

Click To Tweet

6.Personal growth and development

Do you give enough time for your own personal growth and development? A leader recognizes the importance of willingness to grow and develop their skills and thinking. Break down the fences that stops you from investing in your learning and development, be it your negativity, your excuses, or anything else.

Strive to keep learning and growing to be dynamic, up to date and be value added. #leadership

Click To Tweet

What fences are you locking yourself in?

Set yourself free from all those fences that stops you from using your abilities, believing in yourself and to be who you are.

 

Connect with me for one-on-one coaching or group coaching or facilitation of workshops or training or as a keynote speaker on areas of communication and leadership.

Share this:

  • Tweet
  • Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window) Email

Like this:

Like Loading...

Filed Under: Attitude, Character, Coaching, Communication, Emotions, Energize Your Leadership, Habits, Integrity, Lead By Example, Lead From Within, Leadership & Personal Development, Life, Resilience, self-awareness Tagged With: Accountability, boundaries, coaching, Communication, fences, lead from within, Leadership, Resilience, Transitions

Little Things That Matter In Life.

28 November 2016 By Lalita Raman Leave a Comment

I received a text from a friend of mine asking me how I was doing and specifically on something that I had discussed with her that was worrying me. I felt thrilled on receiving the message from her. Another friend of mine who was with me, while I received this asked me why I felt so thrilled with the message. I told her that I felt thrilled because it is the thought that counts.

A simple wish, a message or phone call asking you how you are or wishing you for your birthday or good luck means much more than someone who does not bother to wish you or ask you how you are. Most of us have friends or relatives who rarely think of us and may be buy us a gift once in a while and make a big ado about this. Yet, there are others who with their simple thoughts and kind deeds make your day. It is not the big or expensive gifts that necessarily count but a gift or thought no matter how small, is much more precious because at least that person has made an effort to think of you and is doing it with their heart and soul.

Life is made of moments and every little thing counts because it these little things that make up life’s moments. Significant and big things are important to each of us and yet it is the little things that make each day and give us that pleasure and joy. Let us learn to recognize it, feel it, sense it and appreciate it

Life is what we make of it and there are many things which is beyond our control. When life throws you a curve ball and she does throw this ever so often, you can build your resilience by the attitude you take to life’s challenges. It is appreciating those little things in life which will enable us to see the positivity in the negativity that may surround us.

Here are some things which I appreciate in life:

1.Gratitude 

Reminding myself of things that went right no matter how small even on a day which felt horrible because of the events that happened on the day.

2.Exercise

Taking time consciously in a day to do gym and yoga. It is these moments which energizes me and helps me de-stress and live in that moment.

3.Nature

Time with nature when I do have the time to hike. Being with nature helps me find myself and provide clarity to me.

4.Appreciate  

The special people in your life, the thoughtful things they do for you, the good wishes they send your way.

5.Grounded

One of my yoga instructors made a great comment recently. While we were seated, she said, feel the grounding of any part of your body that is in contact with the ground. When she said that I immediately felt a gratitude for my hands and feet that work and is able.

6.Cooking

Preparing a dish or several dishes and letting your creativity flow.

7.Walking

Walking and feeling the air around you.

8.Thank you

A #thankyou from your heart ever so often not only cheers you up but brings #joy to others.

Click To Tweet

9.Thinking and reaching out

Reaching out to your friends or family and sending them good wishes.

10.Listening

Thank people who give you the gift of their time and sincere ears.

Give the #gift of your time to #listen with your ears, eye, heart and soul. #communication

Click To Tweet

Give your undivided attention to your family, near and dear ones and to your team.

11.Remembering names

“Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.” -Dale Carnegie. How do you feel when someone addresses you by their name? Each of us feel good when people remember our name. Let’s give that joy to someone else.

12.Asking About Personal Interests

Get to know a colleague of yours at a deeper level. What are their interests? Asking questions or commenting on such interests before or after a meeting or at lunch or after work builds a bridge of connection. This connection helps you to make that relationship stronger.

Little things matter because they help you to #appreciate #life and what you have. #gratitude

Click To Tweet

What are some of the things that you appreciate in life? Please feel free to share it in the comments box.

Please consult me for one-on-one coaching, facilitating work shops on communication, transitions, diversity or leadership.

Share this:

  • Tweet
  • Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window) Email

Like this:

Like Loading...

Filed Under: Attitude, Character, Coaching, Communication, Emotions, Energize Your Leadership, Habits, Lead By Example, Lead From Within, Leadership & Personal Development, Life, Mindfulness, Resilience, self-awareness Tagged With: Communication, Gratitude, lead by example, lead from within, Leadership, life, Listening, little things that matter, Nature

6 Antidotes To Apathy

9 November 2016 By Lalita Raman Leave a Comment

One time, during one of my travels, I was standing in the queue to go through security. The person standing ahead of me removed his belt placed it on the tray, emptied his pockets, then took out his laptop, put his bag on the trolley, thereafter zipped his laptop bag and then put that on the trolley. He took a good 5 minutes to do all of this. He seemed like a regular traveler and one who definitely was in the know. Yet…

Consider situations when people push you, or don’t bother moving out of your way when you say “excuse me”, on the road or in a lift, they barge in before you can get out. If you were to ask them to not do so, instead of saying sorry, they get into a fight and argument.

What is the common thread in these incidents?

⇒ATTITUDE

That traveler was in the know about what needs to be put on the belt and yet did not care about being courteous in making an attempt to remove his laptop from the bag ahead of time or be adept with the way he put the things on the belt. His behavior seemed to be one of lack of care and courtesy to the passengers queuing behind him.

⇒How many times have you been in situations where people tell you that they know and yet act differently?

⇒Being in the know is useful, if you chose to behave according to your actions.

⇒Being in the know is of no use if your resultant behavior and action is one of apathy.

⇒Not knowing is better than knowing something and choosing to be apathetic.

As a #leader, your mindset needs to be adaptive, focused and mindful.

Click To Tweet

In order not to be apathetic, consider these 6 key points

1.Attitude

Attitude is one each of us can chose because that is the only thing we can control.

To keep your attitude in check, are you
-asking the right questions of yourself and others,
-challenging the obvious
-willing to step out of your comfort zone
-being courteous in your actions and behavior
-ignoring your true dissenting inner voice

2.Pride

We need to celebrate our achievements and those of others. Each of us need to feel the deep pleasure derived from our accomplishments and successes. However, when we refuse to acknowledge those of others or are so narcissistic about ourselves, we turn our pride into being egoistic. As a leader be proud but not egoistic.

Are you being courageous to do what is right even if it is not the most popular?

3.Amiable

We need to be connected to each other because as human beings we are social animals and cannot survive in isolation. Connection happens when you are genuine and amiable. If you are indifferent and rude, you indicate a behavior of apathy.

4.Taut (not be rigid)

Being adaptive helps us to connect with others. You can be assertive and yet be adaptive. In showing rigidity in your actions, behaviors and the way you communicate, you are showing indifference.

Do you not ask questions because you fear resistance?

Do you stop advocating an idea for the good of your team and co., because it is not met with eyes of approval?

5.Haughty

A leader is one who has humility in the way they act and behave. By being haughty you do not inspire others in who you are or what you do.

⇒Do you surround yourself with people who don’t question you?

OR

⇒Do you surround yourself with people who can challenge your thinking and whose strengths make up for your deficits?

⇒Is your action and behavior disdainful and arrogantly superior?

⇒What are you doing with being in the know?

6.Yourself

Be authentic and Be yourself. Authenticity is being genuine but does not include being brash or uncourteous. Being authentic means you manage your EI and don’t forget your humility. In being EI, you chose to reframe your communication in a way that suits your audience and the context, without lying or using flattery.

 “As a #leader, you inspire others when you refuse to act and behave in a manner that is not apathetic.”

Attitude – You Pick, You Choose, And you create a #positive impact.

Click To Tweet

If you want to increase your self-awareness and manage your emotions in a better way, please consult me.

Share this:

  • Tweet
  • Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window) Email

Like this:

Like Loading...

Filed Under: Attitude, Brand You, Character, Coaching, Communication, Customer Service and Sales, Habits, Hike, Integrity, Lead By Example, Lead From Within, Leadership & Personal Development, Mindfulness, Relationships, Resilience, Sales Leadership, self-awareness Tagged With: amiable, antidote, attitude, coaching, communication. Pride. ego, lead from within, Leader, Leadership

5 Essential Behaviors To Be Emotionally Intelligent

22 March 2016 By Lalita Raman Leave a Comment

Last Friday, I went to see my doctor to get my results on the Nerve Conduction Test, that I had done several weeks back. My GP just read out the report and said I had Carpal Tunnel Syndrome and Peripheral Neuropathy. When I asked him, the further course of action, he replied with the utmost caution. Well……. , you could go to the Orthopedic surgeon or wear a splint. I was curious about the options, despite having already read about the options, which I had explored through Google.

He didn’t give me any direct answers and worse still, he started saying that even with surgery for the carpal tunnel syndrome, there is no guarantee of relief and complete cure. He also remarked that being a diabetic means that, the healing process could get complicated and for neuropathy, control of diabetes is essential.

I sat there listening to him and not giving into my emotions. First of all, no one expects a guarantee. Life is short and there are no guarantees. Secondly, he did not tell me anything new and worse still, instead of being emotionally aware about the language and tone that he uses, he was trying to put the entire blame on me being a diabetic and making judgements on the control of Type 1 diabetes.

I was sitting in his room thinking … Do you even know the life I have lived and have you walked in my shoes? Do you even know and understand how I have managed and controlled my diabetes for over 35 years ?……

→How many times have you been a victim of being judged by another, though they know nothing of your life?

→How many times have you typecast and stereotyped a person based on their gender, race, figure, and some traits that you may have observed in this person which happens to be the same as another person or group of people you know?

→How many times have you been emotionally unaware of the impact that your tone, your choice of words and indifference creates on your audience?

→Have you honestly tried to see things from the other person’s point of view?

As a doctor, a manager or a person empowered to lead a team or organization, how emotionally intelligent are you? Emotional Intelligence is about being

1.Self-Aware

Self-awareness is the capacity to introspect and the ability to recognize oneself as an individual separate from the environment and other individuals. It is being aware of what impact your behaviors have on others. Having self-awareness allows you to see where your thoughts and emotions are taking you. Knowing this, you are able to take control of your emotions, your behavior and make changes you want.

Clearly the doctor was unaware of the impact his behavior had on me.

2.Self-Regulation

Knowing when to say what and how is crucial for anyone and especially those who are in a position of impact.

Self-regulation is about being calm, knowing your values, and holding yourself accountable. #EI

Click To Tweet

3.Motivation

#Motivation is about doing what you are doing with #passion, #care and #commitment. #EI

Click To Tweet

. Being optimistic and realistic and knowing why you do what you do helps you to stay motivated. Doing something without being motivated not only impacts what you do and who you are but also affects the enthusiasm and morale of others.

4.Empathy

Empathy is about putting yourself in someone else’s shoes and seeing things from their perspective. A leader or anyone in a position of impact and influence, has to try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view. They cannot allow their moods or the events of their day to affect the way they communicate or behave. Yes they are human and they need to think before they speak and regulate and manage their moods and emotions before they converse with other people.

Observe, listen, pay attention to body language and the other person’s feelings. #EI

Click To Tweet

5.Humanity

We are social animals and we live in the world of communication. It is not only what we say but how we say (tone, body language and facial expression) that has an impact on other people. People who are human are engaging and energizing communicators in that they pay attention to the words, tone of voice and also their body language. They learn to appreciate the value in another person and engage in constructive feedback.

Be direct in your communication and yet be aware that the way you communicate can create doubt, disengagement and mistrust. If you are someone who is in a position to influence others with your behaviors and actions and not able to guard your feelings, and see things from the other person’s point of view, you lack the EI. And in not being emotionally aware, you do not lead by example nor do you inspire others.

→How Emotionally Aware are you?

→How are you becoming EI in your journey of life?

Transitions in life can cause us to be emotionally challenged and overwhelmed, please consult me for one-on-one coaching, group coaching, facilitation or as a speaker on Emotional Intelligence and Transitions.

image source

Share this:

  • Tweet
  • Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window) Email

Like this:

Like Loading...

Filed Under: Attitude, Character, Coaching, Communication, Emotions, Employee Engagement, Energize Your Leadership, Habits, Lead By Example, Lead From Within, Leadership & Personal Development, Life, Resilience, self-awareness Tagged With: Communication, Doctor, EI, EQ, lead by example, lead from within, Leader, Leadership, Manager, Motivation, sef-regulation, Self-Awareness

Leadership Influence or Impediment

9 February 2016 By Lalita Raman Leave a Comment

Two weeks back, one of my dad’s close friends passed away. He was suffering from dementia for 4-5 years. Over these 5 years, his wife took care of him. His wife is a person who showed endurance, empathy and above all resilience and there never was a moment, when, if you meet her, she showed her frustration or her emotional state to others.

I remember, as a teenager, when we used to go to her house, her house was spick and span and she used to balance her work and home life well. She maintained her house well, she brought up her daughter with elegance, etiquette and taught her to be courageous and respectful in her behavior. In the last five years, she showed tremendous endurance in the way she looked after her husband. His condition over the years worsened in that he completely stopped recognizing people and had many other health challenges. Through all this she never gave up and showed optimism and hope.

She has inspired me in who she is and some leadership insights that I have seen in her, over the years, I have shared below:-

Leaders are one who:

→1. Look for opportunities where others find nothing.
→2.Are solution focused, where others see a problem.
→3.Are willing to learn and be on a continuous development and growth path.
→4.Are not limited or put down by fear and doubts.
→5.Encourage others by asking powerful and relevant questions.
→6.Are realistically optimistic and are not involved in a negative vicious cycle.
→7.Think forward and find a way to maximize their potential.
→8.Make the best use of what they have, and their talent.
→9.Accept their circumstances and don’t engage in the blame game.
→10.Plan and are prepared to accept what life offers them and keep themselves engaged and busy.
→11.Reframe their communication by genuinely thinking from the other person’s perspective.
→12.Respect and are courteous even in adverse situations.
→13.Have the EI and they continue to do what is required of a situation. They do not stop and do not give up despite life throwing challenges at them.
→14.They give others a fine reputation to live up to.
→15.Realize that life is a bumpy ride and what is within their control is the attitude they take to each situation.
→16.Are proactive and are not reactive.
→17.Are good communicators and they continue to work at it.
→18.Step out of their comfort zone and travel the path less traveled.
→19.Know their core values and their actions and behaviors reflect their core values.
→20.Are self-aware and they know who they are. They do not derive pleasure or their own self-worth from whom they know or by putting others down.
→21.Inspire others to embrace change by adapting to change themselves and giving others reasons to do so.
→22.Are humble, generous and kind.
→23.Accept their mistakes first and call out to others mistakes indirectly.
→24.Are resilient and persistent.
→25.Are committed and walk their talk.

Life chose to give her a roller coaster ride and though it was her life partner whom she was looking after, she stood by him without complaining and without regret. Her relentless optimism and resilience has been inspiring and encouraging to follow. May his soul rest in peace and may the leader in her continue to inspire more lives whom she touches.

#Leaders encourage, motivate, walk their talk, are humble and willing to learn. #leadership #EI

Click To Tweet

As a leader, you have the potential to inspire those around you to support and execute not only your vision but also create a legacy by enabling and helping them to live their potential.

Transitions in life creates challenges and many times takes you way out of your comfort zone. To get insights out of the transitions that you face, please connect with me.

Share this:

  • Tweet
  • Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window) Email

Like this:

Like Loading...

Filed Under: Attitude, Character, Coaching, Communication, Emotions, Energise Your Leadership, Habits, Integrity, Lead By Example, Lead From Within, Leadership & Personal Development, Life, Mindfulness, Resilience, Talent And Human Resources Tagged With: Communication, EI, lead change, Leadership, leadfromwithin

Five Keys To Leadership Excellence

27 January 2016 By Lalita Raman Leave a Comment

The weather this past weekend was cold in some parts of the world and bitterly freezing in other parts. Most people when asked, how are you, were replying “it is cold”. The cold season shall pass and then we will slowly come to the peak of summer with temperatures in some parts of the world going up to 50°C or more. Extreme cold or heat is not something most of us are comfortable with.

Moderate weather, like fall or spring, is what most of us can bear and are comfortable with.

→How are you adopting moderation in your life?

#Moderation, not mediocrity, is something that will help you move forward. #transitions #leadership.

Click To Tweet

#Moderation in moving towards excellence is key to #influencing others #positively.#transitions

Click To Tweet

→Are you being mediocre or moderate in who you are?

→What kind of environment are you creating around you?

→Are you expecting people to work in a manner that burns them out?

Moderation is key to leadership excellence – How does moderation help you to succeed?

1.Communicate

We live in a world of Communication and Volatile behavior of being too excited, too angry, too sad will show up in the way you communicate. If your thoughts are not emotionally balanced, then your words will be affected. Our words do not just give information, they influence how people connect with us and see us.

#Moderation in your thoughts helps the way you communicate and reframe your #communication.

Click To Tweet

2.Connect

We are social animals and connection with others is how we thrive. We need to learn from our mistakes. As a leader what are your behaviors and actions? Does it connect or isolate? Extreme enthusiasm, passion or apathy does not create trust or a foundation for long-term relationships. Seek to connect with genuine interest in the other person.

3.Appreciate

Silent gratitude is no good. Learn to appreciate and recognize your team’s effort and what they have done well. Don’t indulge in flattery but give honest and sincere appreciation.

4.Compassion

Connect and care with your compassion and not by being a task master. Your compassion will enable you to listen, observe and learn about your team.

5.Emotional Intelligence

What emotions come up for you in different situations?  How do you manage them, in being a role model? Be aware of your emotions and recognize them and do not be a victim of your primitive brain causing an amygdala hijack. Stop second guessing every decision you make and agonizing over whether you made the right one or not. Whilst reflection is necessary, having doubts over every decision affects your EI and leadership. Trust your intuition, reflect on what went well and what can be done to improver. Overall trust yourself and have the EI to be moderate in your behaviors and actions to self and others.

#Leadership is not about mediocrity and accepting status quo, but the ability to #inspire others.

Click To Tweet

Moderation in all walks of life gives clarity and balance, why would you deny yourself that ?

Transitions in life puts us through challenges and moderation is key to go through such transitions to grow and develop. Please consult me if you are looking for one-on-one coaching, training, group coaching or to speak on motivational topics.

Share this:

  • Tweet
  • Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window) Email

Like this:

Like Loading...

Filed Under: Attitude, Brand You, Character, Coaching, Communication, Customer Service and Sales, Emotions, Integrity, Lead By Example, Leadership & Personal Development, Resilience, Sales Leadership, self-awareness, Talent And Human Resources Tagged With: EI, emotions, EQ, lead by example, Leadership, leadfromwithin, life, moderation, Motivation, Transitions

You Will Regret, Not Reading This Right Now

8 December 2015 By Lalita Raman Leave a Comment

I was at yoga and as I was holding my push up, the instructor asked “have you injured your left shoulder”? Her question took me by surprise. I responded to her in the negative and then I told her that I had a surgery on my right shoulder rotator cuff, three years back. She said that I am slumping on my left shoulder and the injury and the resultant surgery could be the cause.

Push-ups is something I enjoy at yoga and at the gym and it is only on rare occasions that I would do push-ups with my knees down. I was unaware of this slump on my left shoulder whilst I was doing my push-ups. Now that I was aware of this, I was extra conscious of the same and in fact struggled with my push-ups.

And as I was wondering how I could correct it, I remembered the cycle of competence. I wouldn’t necessarily call myself unconsciously competent in doing push-ups but sudden awareness about this slump on my left shoulder made me feel I had regressed to unconscious incompetence.

→As a leader, how many times are you unconsciously incompetent or consciously incompetent and you allow that to stop you from moving forward?

What can you do as a leader to increase your awareness of your team and your own self-awareness through the cycle of competence?

1.Think about your strengths

In moving from stage 1 of unconsciously incompetent to stage 4 of unconsciously competent or stage 5 of reflective competence, rely on your strengths. When you focus on your strengths and your teams’ strengths, it will change your perspective and give you the confidence to move from stage to stage and be on the right path.

2. Think about your challenges

#Life stops when you stop learning and you take an #attitude of “always in the know” #transitions

Click To Tweet

 Growth and development happens when you are ready to let go of your inhibitions.

When you recognize what you do well and be reflective, you are able to create opportunities for yourself and your team. When we are in a negative thinking mode, no insights or breakthroughs are possible and in fact it inhibits our brain from clear thinking.

As a leader, you need to realize that the better you become at something, the more you need to consciously think about how you can get better at that task. Those are the new benchmarks by which you judge the success or failure of who you are or what you do.

In learning a new skill or re-learning a skill, there may be moments when you feel you have regressed to previous stages especially if you fail to practice the new way of doing things or exercise the new skill.

In inspiring others to reach their potential, you need to assess where your team is currently, where is their desired outcome and find out what is creating the gap. Telling your team to fix the problem is not going to close the gap between where they are and the final outcome.

#Coaching is necessary to get members of your team to reach the desired state. #leadership

Click To Tweet

What is necessary for coaching ?

1.Create a safe place

Do not Judge. Judgment creates defensiveness and stops people from expressing and communicating with an open mind. If you want people to feel respected, listen to them, respect their views, create a safe place and help them grow.

2.Focus on way forward

Don’t focus on what went wrong because that will be self-defeating and demotivating. #coaching

Click To Tweet

Keeping focus on how to get to the desired outcomes will help you move forward and help your team overcome the challenges.

3.Be curious

We engage in the world we create. Ask questions instead of telling or giving orders because asking relevant questions keeps people engaged and helps them to think. Asking for your team’s suggestion helps them to be focused and be involved.

4.Get Commitment

Be# goal oriented and get your team to commit to a plan of action. #leadership

Click To Tweet

 A plan of action which you help them to design engages them to give their commitment.

Overall, be it in your progression or your team’s progression, create awareness accompanied by a sense of awakening through coaching and coaching yourself by hiring a coach or self-coaching.

⇒Every leader and trainer and coach should be aware that if the awareness of skill and deficiency is low or non-existent – i.e. the learner is at the unconscious incompetence stage – the person will simply not see the need for learning. Thus it is essential to establish awareness of a weakness or training need (conscious incompetence) prior to attempting to impart or arrange training or skills necessary to move people from stage 2 to 3. People only respond to training and coaching when they are aware of their own need for it, and the personal benefit they will derive from achieving it.⇐

For professional executive coaching either one-on-one or group coaching or training or facilitation please contact me.

image source

Share this:

  • Tweet
  • Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window) Email

Like this:

Like Loading...

Filed Under: Attitude, Character, Coaching, Communication, Customer Service and Sales, Employee Engagement, Energize Your Leadership, Habits, Integrity, Lead By Example, Lead From Within, Leadership & Personal Development, Life, Meditation, Relationships, Resilience, Sales Leadership, self-awareness, Talent And Human Resources Tagged With: awareness, coaching, Communication, Curiosity, cycle of competence, Leader, Leadership, leadfromwithin, Questions, Self-Awareness, Strengths, Yoga

Five Steps To Empower Your Way To Resilience

16 November 2015 By Lalita Raman Leave a Comment

Last Thursday, my mom had a bad fall. She slipped in the bathroom and badly injured her shoulder, her shoulder cervical area, and her pelvic bone. Initial X-ray, that day, did not reveal any fracture. My mother suffers from Parkinson and Osteoporosis for the past five years. Despite being in pain and agony, she hobbled her way through and still woke up at her usual time at 4 am on Friday. Her pain increased over the weekend and the pain killers seemed to have limited effect. and when she was taken to the hospital on Monday, she was diagnosed with multiple fractures. She has been advised complete bed rest. Yet, with her determination and willpower and my sister’s and dad’s help, she came back home. She made a deal with her Doctor that she will take care and come back on Friday, because the next two days is Diwali, which is our New Year. She did not want to be in the hospital for the next three days.

My mother is a resilient woman. Despite her Parkinson’s and Osteoporosis deteriorating over the years, she is mentally strong, very resilient and with her willpower she bounces back and continues with her life as it unfolds, with her positive attitude.

When you choose to wallow in your mishaps, sorrows or unpleasant changes that come along, you will increase the stress and overwhelm in your life.


Resilience is necessary for each of us because it with our resilient attitude that we face challenges, stay committed, and are able to move forward.

How do you build your resilience ?

1. Set an intention

One of my yoga instructors begins her class by asking us to set an intention and be conscious of that intention through some of the poses that we may find challenging. Setting an intention helps us to focus and direct our effort towards that.

Setting an intention on a daily basis is a gentle reminder to ourselves of what we want to be or achieve at the end of the day. The journey to that intention or goal despite challenges becomes more purposeful.

2. Adopt a positive mindset

A negative mindset leads to negative emotions and the vicious cycle continues. Emotions are present in our daily lives and plays a role in how we behave individually and socially. The limbic system controls our emotions and other brain functions related to our instincts and memories. When our brain perceives a threat or faces a threat or adversity, our brain gets into a fight, flight or freeze mode.

How many times have you been in situations when you sent an email and regretted over it? That is your limbic system in action where essentially your motor skills are in full form and your executive center or the rational part of your brain shuts down.

With a #Positive mind, we allow our #brain to think rationally. #transitions #resilient

Click To Tweet

4.Labeling your emotion

We are emotional beings and EI does not mean keeping our emotions pent-up. Be aware of your emotions and what I have found useful is to label my emotions. For e.g. If someone does not respond to an email within the time frame they had committed, I’m either frustrated, angry or resign to the fact that the person is not committed. When I label my emotion, I recognize it and it becomes easier to deal with it. The trick here is to be aware of your emotion, recognize it and instinctively label it without over analyzing and spending too much time.

If you over analyze it, you run the risk of tiring your brain and overwhelming yourself.

5.Reflect

It is easy to blame yourself and criticise. Stop. Resilience is about your ability to take it all in, recognize where you are and move on without losing heart. Learn to reflect on what went well even in those challenging circumstances, what could you do differently to overcome the situation you are in. Tell yourself, “I am going to overcome this situation” or ” I can do it” and march forward.

The way you speak to yourself i.e. your thoughts, can either help you build yourself or chip away at your ability to feel confident. What will you choose?

Make those whispers to yourself #empowering, empathetic and one that builds your inner #strength.

Click To Tweet

Resilience is a continuous process and not restricted to being adept at navigating hurdles and high pressure situations in life. It is about a mindset that helps you thrive through every situation, no matter what they are. Resilience is not about facing every aspect of life on your own. Take the support of friends and family because in confiding and collaborating with others whom you trust, you are able to get insights and breakthroughs.

Change is part of our lives and with some changes, transition takes a longer time and affects our daily being and activity. To lead your life with passion and purpose and overcome and face the transitions in your life and thrive, Contact me for one-on-one coaching, or group coaching or workshops or facilitation. 

Share this:

  • Tweet
  • Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window) Email

Like this:

Like Loading...

Filed Under: Attitude, Character, Coaching, Emotions, Energize Your Leadership, Habits, Health, Integrity, Lead By Example, Lead From Within, Leadership & Personal Development, Life, Mindfulness, Resilience, self-awareness Tagged With: coaching, Communication, EI, emotions, EQ, judgement, lead from within, Leadership, positive, reflect, Resilience

Recent Posts

  • A Tribute to a Courageous and Strong Woman….My Mother.
  • 6 Fences To Build For Yourself
  • Little Things That Matter In Life.
  • 6 Antidotes To Apathy
  • What Does It Take To “Lead By Example”?

Subscribe to my Blog

Co-Author of An Inspiring Book

Transitions, Lalita Raman

Buy Now

Transitions, Lalita Raman

VISIT MY WEBSITE

Categories

  • Animals
  • Attitude
  • Brand You
  • Character
  • Coaching
  • Communication
  • Culture
  • Customer Service and Sales
  • Discrimination
  • Emotions
  • Employee Engagement
  • Energise Your Leadership
  • Energize Your Leadership
  • Entrepreneur
  • Environment and Nature
  • Generalizations
  • Habits
  • Health
  • Hike
  • Idiosyncracies
  • India
  • Integrity
  • Lead By Example
  • Lead From Within
  • Leadership & Personal Development
  • Life
  • Meditation
  • Mindfulness
  • Mobile Phone
  • My favorite songs
  • Pakistan
  • Relationships
  • Resilience
  • Sales Leadership
  • self-awareness
  • Social Media
  • Songs
  • Speech
  • Talent And Human Resources
  • Travel
  • Treks
  • Uncategorized
  • Video
  • Video Blogs
  • Violence Against Women
  • Woman
  • Women
  • Youth

Tags

Anger Appreciation attitude behavior Business Change coaching Commitment Communication courage EI emotions Empathy fear Gratitude Health hope Human humility India judgement lead by example Leader Leadership leadfromwithin lead from within life listen Listening Love mindfulness Nature negativity Pema Chodron positive Questions respect Self-Awareness smile Social Media thank you Twitter Values. Women You Matter

Follow me on Twitter

My Tweets

Archives

  • February 2020
  • January 2017
  • November 2016
  • September 2016
  • August 2016
  • July 2016
  • June 2016
  • May 2016
  • April 2016
  • March 2016
  • February 2016
  • January 2016
  • December 2015
  • November 2015
  • October 2015
  • September 2015
  • August 2015
  • July 2015
  • June 2015
  • May 2015
  • April 2015
  • March 2015
  • February 2015
  • January 2015
  • December 2014
  • November 2014
  • October 2014
  • September 2014
  • August 2014
  • July 2014
  • June 2014
  • May 2014
  • April 2014
  • March 2014
  • February 2014
  • January 2014
  • December 2013
  • November 2013
  • October 2013
  • September 2013
  • August 2013
  • July 2013
  • June 2013
  • May 2013
  • April 2013
  • March 2013
  • February 2013
  • January 2013
  • December 2012
  • November 2012
  • October 2012
  • September 2012
  • August 2012
  • July 2012
  • June 2012
  • May 2012
  • April 2012
  • March 2012
  • February 2012
  • January 2012
  • December 2011
  • November 2011
  • October 2011
  • September 2011
  • May 2011
  • April 2011
  • March 2011
  • January 2011
  • December 2010
  • November 2010
  • September 2010
  • July 2010
  • June 2010
  • May 2010
  • April 2010

[footer_backtotop]

Copyright © 2007–2025 Lalita Raman, Transitions Intl Limited

%d