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Top 30 Ways To Be Courteous

29 March 2016 By Lalita Raman Leave a Comment

Last Saturday, we went to a Restaurant which was highly recommended by one of our friends. We reached the restaurant 5 minutes earlier than the time we had been booked for. As we entered the restaurant, we were “lost” because no one seemed to be asking us, “do you have a reservation”? or “may I help you”? We hung around there for a while and since no one seemed to be attending to us, I decided to proceed further in and ask one of the staff from the restaurant, if this was in fact the right place. He immediately confirmed we were and directed us towards the entrance, saying the lady near the computer will be able to help us.

She seemed totally disinterested in the way she took our name, and cross checked the details of our booking. She then as a matter of fact stated that the table was not ready and that we would need to wait. She asked us if we would like a drink and we placed our order. To add to the indifference that was shown till then, we got the wrong drink. Finally, after 15 minutes, we get accompanied by a lady who looked lost, confused and did not know how to communicate. She showed us to one table which didn’t look very clean and then she turned around and said, that we need to wait for another 5 minutes before they can arrange a better table. By then, I lost my patience and asked if they were interested in serving us or should we find a different restaurant.

Right from the word go, here was a case of someone not caring to show courtesy. Courtesy is important and should be part of each individual’s behavior in their day-to-day dealings.

Courtesy builds rapport, enhances relationship and yet in the busy state of life, people tend to forget to be courteous.

#Courtesy gets through language, race and any other barriers. #leadership #EI

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Courtesy is

  1. Giving your full attention to the person whom you are interacting with.
  2. Not having a “conversation” with your phone whilst you are in a restaurant, in a meeting, or in conversation with someone.
  3. Saying “excuse me” at the gym or at the yoga studio or whilst walking on the road, instead of elbowing someone.
  4. Not stepping on someone’s yoga mat or equipment in the yoga studio or at the gymnasium.
  5. Occupying your 2×2 space at the gymnasium instead of the whole changing room.
  6. Not talking loudly on the phone whilst you are in a public place be it at a restaurant, train, bus, whilst standing in a queue or check in counter at the airport.
  7. Not probe into someone’s personal life.
  8. Not ask someone what salary they are earning or why they have no kids.
  9. Not to eat or drink while checking out at a supermarket
  10. Not to chew loudly in a restaurant or at your office or at any public place.
  11. Saying thank you to anyone who serves you at a bank, restaurant or any other service place or when someone holds the door for you.
  12. Saying sorry when you are wrong.
  13. Not to reserve a place in a queue especially when the other person is not ready.
  14. Smiling because it costs nothing and can brighten your day and someone else’s day.
  15. Acknowledging an email or chat which has been addressed to you within a reasonable period of time.
  16. Remembering someone’s name because that is the sweetest sound to any person in any language.
  17. Keeping up your word.
  18. Saying no to some things so that you can deliver your commitments that you have said to.
  19. Being on time and not taking someone else’s time for granted.
  20. Giving back a book or dress or anything that you may have borrowed from another person and making sure that you return it in a good condition.
  21. Treating others with humility.
  22. Making eye contact when you are conversing with someone.
  23. Saying please instead of directing someone to do something
  24. Making a person feel welcome when they visit your house or your restaurant.
  25. Giving personal space to each one whilst standing in a queue.
  26. Allowing people to get out of the elevator, bus or train before getting in.
  27. Not playing your music loudly or not snoring whilst traveling on a flight or train.
  28. Not getting mega size bags with you and trying to load it as cabin bags.
  29. Giving your seat to somebody who is in need from an age perspective or a pregnant woman.
  30. Not being narcissistic all the time.
    Return favors that has either been showered on you or those you asked for. #courtesy #leader

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How are you being courteous in your daily life?

What other items would you like to add to the above on courtesy?

As a #leader and a person in a position of #influence, are you behaving courteously? #EI

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Be #Courteous because it strikes deepest in the grateful and appreciating heart. #EI

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For one-on-one coaching or group coaching or training or facilitation or training on Conversational Intelligence within a team, one on one, with your boss or any difficult conversations, please consult me.

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Filed Under: Character, Coaching, Communication, Customer Service and Sales, Energize Your Leadership, Habits, Lead By Example, Lead From Within, Leadership & Personal Development, Life, self-awareness Tagged With: behaviour, Communication, courtesy, EI, language, lead by example, lead from within, Leadership

5 Essential Behaviors To Be Emotionally Intelligent

22 March 2016 By Lalita Raman Leave a Comment

Last Friday, I went to see my doctor to get my results on the Nerve Conduction Test, that I had done several weeks back. My GP just read out the report and said I had Carpal Tunnel Syndrome and Peripheral Neuropathy. When I asked him, the further course of action, he replied with the utmost caution. Well……. , you could go to the Orthopedic surgeon or wear a splint. I was curious about the options, despite having already read about the options, which I had explored through Google.

He didn’t give me any direct answers and worse still, he started saying that even with surgery for the carpal tunnel syndrome, there is no guarantee of relief and complete cure. He also remarked that being a diabetic means that, the healing process could get complicated and for neuropathy, control of diabetes is essential.

I sat there listening to him and not giving into my emotions. First of all, no one expects a guarantee. Life is short and there are no guarantees. Secondly, he did not tell me anything new and worse still, instead of being emotionally aware about the language and tone that he uses, he was trying to put the entire blame on me being a diabetic and making judgements on the control of Type 1 diabetes.

I was sitting in his room thinking … Do you even know the life I have lived and have you walked in my shoes? Do you even know and understand how I have managed and controlled my diabetes for over 35 years ?……

→How many times have you been a victim of being judged by another, though they know nothing of your life?

→How many times have you typecast and stereotyped a person based on their gender, race, figure, and some traits that you may have observed in this person which happens to be the same as another person or group of people you know?

→How many times have you been emotionally unaware of the impact that your tone, your choice of words and indifference creates on your audience?

→Have you honestly tried to see things from the other person’s point of view?

As a doctor, a manager or a person empowered to lead a team or organization, how emotionally intelligent are you? Emotional Intelligence is about being

1.Self-Aware

Self-awareness is the capacity to introspect and the ability to recognize oneself as an individual separate from the environment and other individuals. It is being aware of what impact your behaviors have on others. Having self-awareness allows you to see where your thoughts and emotions are taking you. Knowing this, you are able to take control of your emotions, your behavior and make changes you want.

Clearly the doctor was unaware of the impact his behavior had on me.

2.Self-Regulation

Knowing when to say what and how is crucial for anyone and especially those who are in a position of impact.

Self-regulation is about being calm, knowing your values, and holding yourself accountable. #EI

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3.Motivation

#Motivation is about doing what you are doing with #passion, #care and #commitment. #EI

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. Being optimistic and realistic and knowing why you do what you do helps you to stay motivated. Doing something without being motivated not only impacts what you do and who you are but also affects the enthusiasm and morale of others.

4.Empathy

Empathy is about putting yourself in someone else’s shoes and seeing things from their perspective. A leader or anyone in a position of impact and influence, has to try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view. They cannot allow their moods or the events of their day to affect the way they communicate or behave. Yes they are human and they need to think before they speak and regulate and manage their moods and emotions before they converse with other people.

Observe, listen, pay attention to body language and the other person’s feelings. #EI

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5.Humanity

We are social animals and we live in the world of communication. It is not only what we say but how we say (tone, body language and facial expression) that has an impact on other people. People who are human are engaging and energizing communicators in that they pay attention to the words, tone of voice and also their body language. They learn to appreciate the value in another person and engage in constructive feedback.

Be direct in your communication and yet be aware that the way you communicate can create doubt, disengagement and mistrust. If you are someone who is in a position to influence others with your behaviors and actions and not able to guard your feelings, and see things from the other person’s point of view, you lack the EI. And in not being emotionally aware, you do not lead by example nor do you inspire others.

→How Emotionally Aware are you?

→How are you becoming EI in your journey of life?

Transitions in life can cause us to be emotionally challenged and overwhelmed, please consult me for one-on-one coaching, group coaching, facilitation or as a speaker on Emotional Intelligence and Transitions.

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Filed Under: Attitude, Character, Coaching, Communication, Emotions, Employee Engagement, Energize Your Leadership, Habits, Lead By Example, Lead From Within, Leadership & Personal Development, Life, Resilience, self-awareness Tagged With: Communication, Doctor, EI, EQ, lead by example, lead from within, Leader, Leadership, Manager, Motivation, sef-regulation, Self-Awareness

Leaders Do Not LEAD

1 March 2016 By Lalita Raman Leave a Comment

Last Thursday, I had to go for a Nerve Conduction Test, that my doctor wanted me to do, since I was experiencing pain in the palm of my hands for past several months.

I had no idea what the test involved and I typically like to be in the know., I asked the assistant how long it would take and as I saw the doctor, soon after exchanging pleasantries, I enthusiastically asked him some specific questions on what the test involved. To one of my questions on where would he connect the electric nodes, he spontaneously responded “don’t worry there are no needles”. I had not expressed any fear of needles nor had asked anything about needles. My response that he can inject as many needles as the test may require and needles don’t scare me, because I have been a diabetic Type 1 for over 35 years, took him by surprise……

→How many times do we, when we are asked questions, tend to respond, based on our filters?

→How many of us patiently listen to the question empathetically?

→How many times do we listen without judgment and be in the moment?

→How many of us in our work and daily life, despite using the right tone, facial expression and body language, are made to feel guilty about asking questions ?

Leadership is about taking an overall perspective, having the humility to listen to another perspective and yet keep the communication and relationship healthy. Whilst giving an opinion may be adequate or necessary in some instances, in others it may not.

Leaders do not LEAD, when they Do Not

1.Let go

If we hold onto our bias, our filters, we will continue to view the world from that narrow perspective.
By not letting go of your baggage, you will be unable to influence others positively.

#Life will not be what you want it to be, if you and your view of the world is frozen. #leadership

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Let go and try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view #leadership

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2.Energize

Impactful #leaders pay attention to not only what they say but how they say #leadership

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. They energize their communication by expressing themselves powerfully and in that they do not judge and be swayed by opinions, likes or dislikes. They listen to connect and see things with a fresh perspective. They think before they speak and are conscious of their bias and its impact, if they do not reframe their communication.

3.Accept

If you fail to adapt, you will not #inspire others. #leadership

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As a leader, you need to trust your intuition. You realize that you don’t get to choose all the cards in your life but you do get to choose how you deal with the cards you are dealt in, by the attitude you take to the adversities.

4.Dare

Despite your experience, you dare to look at things with an unbiased and uncluttered mind.

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You make a conscious choice to look at things with a fresh pair of eyes. You are courageous to try out new things and ready to accept your mistake quickly, when you are wrong. If you do not dare to be a person who is genuinely interested in the other person, you will fail to build a rapport and enhance your relationships. 

#Leaders #LEAD by their character, walking their talk and giving others a fine reputation to live up to.

⇒How are you dealing with people and relationships in your life?⇐

⇒How do you choose to lead by example?⇐

Connect with me for leadership and communications training, workshops, one-on-one coaching.

 

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Filed Under: Attitude, Brand You, Character, Coaching, Communication, Customer Service and Sales, Emotions, Employee Engagement, Generalizations, Habits, Lead By Example, Lead From Within, Leadership & Personal Development, Life, Mindfulness Tagged With: Communication, Dale Carnegie, EI, judgement, lead, Leadership, relationships

Leadership Influence or Impediment

9 February 2016 By Lalita Raman Leave a Comment

Two weeks back, one of my dad’s close friends passed away. He was suffering from dementia for 4-5 years. Over these 5 years, his wife took care of him. His wife is a person who showed endurance, empathy and above all resilience and there never was a moment, when, if you meet her, she showed her frustration or her emotional state to others.

I remember, as a teenager, when we used to go to her house, her house was spick and span and she used to balance her work and home life well. She maintained her house well, she brought up her daughter with elegance, etiquette and taught her to be courageous and respectful in her behavior. In the last five years, she showed tremendous endurance in the way she looked after her husband. His condition over the years worsened in that he completely stopped recognizing people and had many other health challenges. Through all this she never gave up and showed optimism and hope.

She has inspired me in who she is and some leadership insights that I have seen in her, over the years, I have shared below:-

Leaders are one who:

→1. Look for opportunities where others find nothing.
→2.Are solution focused, where others see a problem.
→3.Are willing to learn and be on a continuous development and growth path.
→4.Are not limited or put down by fear and doubts.
→5.Encourage others by asking powerful and relevant questions.
→6.Are realistically optimistic and are not involved in a negative vicious cycle.
→7.Think forward and find a way to maximize their potential.
→8.Make the best use of what they have, and their talent.
→9.Accept their circumstances and don’t engage in the blame game.
→10.Plan and are prepared to accept what life offers them and keep themselves engaged and busy.
→11.Reframe their communication by genuinely thinking from the other person’s perspective.
→12.Respect and are courteous even in adverse situations.
→13.Have the EI and they continue to do what is required of a situation. They do not stop and do not give up despite life throwing challenges at them.
→14.They give others a fine reputation to live up to.
→15.Realize that life is a bumpy ride and what is within their control is the attitude they take to each situation.
→16.Are proactive and are not reactive.
→17.Are good communicators and they continue to work at it.
→18.Step out of their comfort zone and travel the path less traveled.
→19.Know their core values and their actions and behaviors reflect their core values.
→20.Are self-aware and they know who they are. They do not derive pleasure or their own self-worth from whom they know or by putting others down.
→21.Inspire others to embrace change by adapting to change themselves and giving others reasons to do so.
→22.Are humble, generous and kind.
→23.Accept their mistakes first and call out to others mistakes indirectly.
→24.Are resilient and persistent.
→25.Are committed and walk their talk.

Life chose to give her a roller coaster ride and though it was her life partner whom she was looking after, she stood by him without complaining and without regret. Her relentless optimism and resilience has been inspiring and encouraging to follow. May his soul rest in peace and may the leader in her continue to inspire more lives whom she touches.

#Leaders encourage, motivate, walk their talk, are humble and willing to learn. #leadership #EI

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As a leader, you have the potential to inspire those around you to support and execute not only your vision but also create a legacy by enabling and helping them to live their potential.

Transitions in life creates challenges and many times takes you way out of your comfort zone. To get insights out of the transitions that you face, please connect with me.

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Filed Under: Attitude, Character, Coaching, Communication, Emotions, Energise Your Leadership, Habits, Integrity, Lead By Example, Lead From Within, Leadership & Personal Development, Life, Mindfulness, Resilience, Talent And Human Resources Tagged With: Communication, EI, lead change, Leadership, leadfromwithin

Five Keys To Leadership Excellence

27 January 2016 By Lalita Raman Leave a Comment

The weather this past weekend was cold in some parts of the world and bitterly freezing in other parts. Most people when asked, how are you, were replying “it is cold”. The cold season shall pass and then we will slowly come to the peak of summer with temperatures in some parts of the world going up to 50°C or more. Extreme cold or heat is not something most of us are comfortable with.

Moderate weather, like fall or spring, is what most of us can bear and are comfortable with.

→How are you adopting moderation in your life?

#Moderation, not mediocrity, is something that will help you move forward. #transitions #leadership.

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#Moderation in moving towards excellence is key to #influencing others #positively.#transitions

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→Are you being mediocre or moderate in who you are?

→What kind of environment are you creating around you?

→Are you expecting people to work in a manner that burns them out?

Moderation is key to leadership excellence – How does moderation help you to succeed?

1.Communicate

We live in a world of Communication and Volatile behavior of being too excited, too angry, too sad will show up in the way you communicate. If your thoughts are not emotionally balanced, then your words will be affected. Our words do not just give information, they influence how people connect with us and see us.

#Moderation in your thoughts helps the way you communicate and reframe your #communication.

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2.Connect

We are social animals and connection with others is how we thrive. We need to learn from our mistakes. As a leader what are your behaviors and actions? Does it connect or isolate? Extreme enthusiasm, passion or apathy does not create trust or a foundation for long-term relationships. Seek to connect with genuine interest in the other person.

3.Appreciate

Silent gratitude is no good. Learn to appreciate and recognize your team’s effort and what they have done well. Don’t indulge in flattery but give honest and sincere appreciation.

4.Compassion

Connect and care with your compassion and not by being a task master. Your compassion will enable you to listen, observe and learn about your team.

5.Emotional Intelligence

What emotions come up for you in different situations?  How do you manage them, in being a role model? Be aware of your emotions and recognize them and do not be a victim of your primitive brain causing an amygdala hijack. Stop second guessing every decision you make and agonizing over whether you made the right one or not. Whilst reflection is necessary, having doubts over every decision affects your EI and leadership. Trust your intuition, reflect on what went well and what can be done to improver. Overall trust yourself and have the EI to be moderate in your behaviors and actions to self and others.

#Leadership is not about mediocrity and accepting status quo, but the ability to #inspire others.

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Moderation in all walks of life gives clarity and balance, why would you deny yourself that ?

Transitions in life puts us through challenges and moderation is key to go through such transitions to grow and develop. Please consult me if you are looking for one-on-one coaching, training, group coaching or to speak on motivational topics.

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Filed Under: Attitude, Brand You, Character, Coaching, Communication, Customer Service and Sales, Emotions, Integrity, Lead By Example, Leadership & Personal Development, Resilience, Sales Leadership, self-awareness, Talent And Human Resources Tagged With: EI, emotions, EQ, lead by example, Leadership, leadfromwithin, life, moderation, Motivation, Transitions

Five Steps To Empower Your Way To Resilience

16 November 2015 By Lalita Raman Leave a Comment

Last Thursday, my mom had a bad fall. She slipped in the bathroom and badly injured her shoulder, her shoulder cervical area, and her pelvic bone. Initial X-ray, that day, did not reveal any fracture. My mother suffers from Parkinson and Osteoporosis for the past five years. Despite being in pain and agony, she hobbled her way through and still woke up at her usual time at 4 am on Friday. Her pain increased over the weekend and the pain killers seemed to have limited effect. and when she was taken to the hospital on Monday, she was diagnosed with multiple fractures. She has been advised complete bed rest. Yet, with her determination and willpower and my sister’s and dad’s help, she came back home. She made a deal with her Doctor that she will take care and come back on Friday, because the next two days is Diwali, which is our New Year. She did not want to be in the hospital for the next three days.

My mother is a resilient woman. Despite her Parkinson’s and Osteoporosis deteriorating over the years, she is mentally strong, very resilient and with her willpower she bounces back and continues with her life as it unfolds, with her positive attitude.

When you choose to wallow in your mishaps, sorrows or unpleasant changes that come along, you will increase the stress and overwhelm in your life.


Resilience is necessary for each of us because it with our resilient attitude that we face challenges, stay committed, and are able to move forward.

How do you build your resilience ?

1. Set an intention

One of my yoga instructors begins her class by asking us to set an intention and be conscious of that intention through some of the poses that we may find challenging. Setting an intention helps us to focus and direct our effort towards that.

Setting an intention on a daily basis is a gentle reminder to ourselves of what we want to be or achieve at the end of the day. The journey to that intention or goal despite challenges becomes more purposeful.

2. Adopt a positive mindset

A negative mindset leads to negative emotions and the vicious cycle continues. Emotions are present in our daily lives and plays a role in how we behave individually and socially. The limbic system controls our emotions and other brain functions related to our instincts and memories. When our brain perceives a threat or faces a threat or adversity, our brain gets into a fight, flight or freeze mode.

How many times have you been in situations when you sent an email and regretted over it? That is your limbic system in action where essentially your motor skills are in full form and your executive center or the rational part of your brain shuts down.

With a #Positive mind, we allow our #brain to think rationally. #transitions #resilient

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4.Labeling your emotion

We are emotional beings and EI does not mean keeping our emotions pent-up. Be aware of your emotions and what I have found useful is to label my emotions. For e.g. If someone does not respond to an email within the time frame they had committed, I’m either frustrated, angry or resign to the fact that the person is not committed. When I label my emotion, I recognize it and it becomes easier to deal with it. The trick here is to be aware of your emotion, recognize it and instinctively label it without over analyzing and spending too much time.

If you over analyze it, you run the risk of tiring your brain and overwhelming yourself.

5.Reflect

It is easy to blame yourself and criticise. Stop. Resilience is about your ability to take it all in, recognize where you are and move on without losing heart. Learn to reflect on what went well even in those challenging circumstances, what could you do differently to overcome the situation you are in. Tell yourself, “I am going to overcome this situation” or ” I can do it” and march forward.

The way you speak to yourself i.e. your thoughts, can either help you build yourself or chip away at your ability to feel confident. What will you choose?

Make those whispers to yourself #empowering, empathetic and one that builds your inner #strength.

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Resilience is a continuous process and not restricted to being adept at navigating hurdles and high pressure situations in life. It is about a mindset that helps you thrive through every situation, no matter what they are. Resilience is not about facing every aspect of life on your own. Take the support of friends and family because in confiding and collaborating with others whom you trust, you are able to get insights and breakthroughs.

Change is part of our lives and with some changes, transition takes a longer time and affects our daily being and activity. To lead your life with passion and purpose and overcome and face the transitions in your life and thrive, Contact me for one-on-one coaching, or group coaching or workshops or facilitation. 

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Filed Under: Attitude, Character, Coaching, Emotions, Energize Your Leadership, Habits, Health, Integrity, Lead By Example, Lead From Within, Leadership & Personal Development, Life, Mindfulness, Resilience, self-awareness Tagged With: coaching, Communication, EI, emotions, EQ, judgement, lead from within, Leadership, positive, reflect, Resilience

Five Key Questions To Create An Emotionally Engaging Experience For Your Customer

20 October 2015 By Lalita Raman Leave a Comment

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Human beings are emotional beings. No matter what role you are in, the art of persuasion appeals to three main areas –

Ethos:

Your #credibility comes from not only what you say but how you say. #ethos #CSR

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Your tone, body language, facial expressions and words matter.

Logos: the logic that you use to support a claim (induction and deduction); any form of evidence that helps you appeal to the rational sense of your audience.

Pathos: the emotional or motivational appeal and herein too, the way you communicate is important.

Three weeks back, a dress that I liked, was on sale in one of the reputed stores and I decided to place the order on-line. When I logged in, I got a message that the size I was looking for was out of stock. I decided to avail of the wait list option that was offered to me. Within 4-5 days, I got an email notification that the wait list item was available and I need to place an order soon. It so happened that the item was still available and I placed the order. I got a confirmation that the order was received and I would get a notification as soon as the order was shipped. Two days later, I receive an email that the order was cancelled and no reason was given. All the email stated was, order cancelled and If you want reply or call. My experience calling their customer service, in the past, has not been pleasant and so I decided to email them requesting them to give me a reason as to why the order was cancelled. The email response was strange, in that they responded saying, sorry place the order again, we could not read your credit card no. To me the content of this response and the tone used was one of “no care”. I had not entered the credit card no with my hand to be told that they could not read it. If it was their system issue that somehow they had lost the credit card no, it was not my fault. Despite all this, this renowned store and one of the biggest and oldest stores in the US, that has an on-line facility, did not apologize and worse, dictated to me that I place the order again.

A relationship with a customer is built, when you can map the journey of your customer through notably, the rational side of the experience and also make it emotionally engaging in a way that it addresses their need and drives value for them. Value is driven from the time the customer or potential customer starts their journey either with exploring your website, entering your shop, speaking to your customer service, sales or marketing, or any other form of contact, that they have with your company. And it does not necessarily end with the goods or services delivered to them.

Why do representatives of organizations, big or small, forget that shopping for anything or dealing with banks or credit cards or any other type of service needs to be “An Experience”? You and your organization need to build an emotionally engaging experience that drives customer loyalty and customer retention.

Seek to ask and understand what the #customer is expecting and feeling coming into the experience.

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This is imperative, for you to understand how you can manage the emotions of your customers in order to create an enjoyable experience for them. The journey is not solely about the touch points of interaction but the entire experience.

When you book a table at a restaurant, the experience includes the way they handle your booking, the way you are greeted at the restaurant, how efficiently and courteously they take you to your table, how soon do they make you feel comfortable by way of their ambience, the way the waiter/waitress speak with you, how soon do they get the menu, how well they explain the dishes, where required, how they take care of the little things that matter, the quality of the dishes, the hygiene level, the waiting time for your order and the checkout process. If you have had a good experience the first time, you will go there repeatedly, as long as the experience continues consistently. It is the same, no matter, whether it is calling your bank, dealing with your broker, buying a house, dealing with your private banker, shopping on-line or on-line subscription to a journal or blog.

Dealing with an organization should not increase stress and anxiety and when it does, the emotional experience leaves a bad taste and the organization loses its value in the customer’s eye.

How do you create an Emotionally Engaging Experience for your customer?

 

1. Are you listening to your customers ?

Listening to your customers, from an emotional and rational perspective for business as usual, for your innovate ideas, for the complaints and the not too pleasant experience that your customer faces, is at the heart of creating a customer-centric culture.

You build client-centricity when you put yourself in their shoes to know what they experience.

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2.Are you looking at the customer’s journey from an emotional perspective?

We enjoy movies with a good story and direction and more importantly those with good actors and actress. The story is taken to a deeper level when the actor or actress plays the role in a way that you get so involved in the character of that story.

Marlon Brando, Al Pacino, Robert De Niro, Jack Nicholson and Dustin Hoffman are just a few famous names and are now possibly the most famous advocates of getting into character by living and breathing every nuance of the world they inhabit.

Hoffman, a method actor by trade, got so prepared for the character he played in Marathon Man, that he lost 15 pounds after running up to four miles a day to get in shape for the demanding role. Legendary Producer Robert Evans claimed that Hoffman would never come into a scene faking the heavy breathing required, and that he would simply run half a mile right before director John Schlesinger yelled ‘action’ to make the scene more believable.

No better way to get and create the emotional experience that a customer gets while dealing with your organization than putting yourself in the shoes of your customer. Visualize how your customer would want the experience to be and map out the behaviors necessary to enable this.

3.How Are You Honoring Your Client’s Perspective?

Your opinions and views don’t matter when you deal with a client. Rational and logic may be useful  and understanding a client from an emotional perspective will go a long way to keep a client fulfilled. Even if you don’t always agree with your client, it’s important to respect their perspective and needs. By understanding your client and their perspective, you establish the trust and make it a memorable experience for the client.

4.Are you hiring the right people?

Who are your hiring to create a valuable and customer-centric culture in your organization? What are their values ? Does it match with the overall vision and purpose of the organization? Your employees are the source to create a rich experience for the clients who deal with your organization.

People who #care for their organization and are treated well by their bosses are #engaged.

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They will focus on doing the right things including creating an experience of dealing with your organization enriching.

5.Do you ask relevant questions ?

Having an empathetic ear to issues that your client faces is one of the best ways to create a long-term relationship with the client. Watch your tone of voice or tone of the email, body language and the words you choose during your interaction. By asking questions such as how may I help you? What is one thing you would like me to do to rectify the situation?, you show empathy and humanity.

Be open, yet circumspect, because this enables you to be in the moment, to ask relevant questions, establish trust and allows the other person to open up. Being over smart never helps because that is going to aggravate your customer and worsen the relationship.

To create a memorable journey for a customer, observe and listen for cues on what do your customers expect from dealing with your organization’s product and services, what would you expect if you were a customer of your products and services, how others want to interact. Adapt your communication style and this applies to every part of the organization, irrespective of customer facing or not, to what your customer may want.

One of my yoga instructors recently remarked that Yoga is not something to get over and done with. It is an experience, an experience of growing strong, breathing and being present in the moment and this has to come from within. Coming from within is something each of are responsible for and the journey is made more pleasant by the instructor’s way of instructing, the rhythm and flow of the class and poses which enables you to breathe, even in your most challenging moment. In the same way, when you are delivering a product or service, no matter the industry, make it a memorable experience and journey for your customer because we are emotional beings and you will drive value for your clients.

From My Professional Experience to Your Success, please contact me for one-on-one coaching, training, group coaching, facilitation, speaking and workshops. 

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Filed Under: Brand You, Character, Coaching, Communication, Customer Service and Sales, Emotions, Employee Engagement, Energize Your Leadership, Integrity, Lead By Example, Lead From Within, Leadership & Personal Development, Sales Leadership, self-awareness Tagged With: client-centricity, Communication, customer, customer loyalty, EI, emotional engagement, EQ, lead by example, leadfromwithin

11 Credible Ways To Enhance Your Credibility

16 June 2015 By Lalita Raman 2 Comments

→Would you attend a workshop or a seminar or a speech by someone with no experience or ethos on their topic?
→Would you invest your money in a fund which has no track record nor does the fund manager have any relevant experience?
→Would you trust a real estate agent who has let you down previously?
→Would you be inspired by a leader who does not walk their talk and is not committed?

Your answer to all this is probably “NO”.

Last week, when I was delivering a training and going through the structure on how to agree to disagree and yet keep the communication lines open and the relationship intact some participants expressed concern on the process not working in a situation that they were facing. I shared with them an exact similar experience I faced during my corporate days and how we disagreed agreeably and the final goal was achieved. The participants didn’t know what to say and in fact their demeanor changed for the rest of the session. I had built my credibility with the participants by sharing with them a real experience when this process had worked.

What is credibility? Where does it come from and why is it important?

#Credibility is the #trust, #respect and #reliability that you create in your #actions.

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Credibility comes from your experience, from the way you behave, from who you are in what you do, what you say and how you do and how you say it.

#Credibility is required in every walk of your life and in every role that you play. #peopleskills

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There are eleven important elements to CREDIBILITY

1. Character

Your #character is one of the pillars of your #Credibility. #impression #peopleskills

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. No matter the adversities that you are facing in your life, your character has to stand through the test of time. Your core values determine who you are and your character needs to reflect that.

2.Respect

Respect is earned by your word, your behavior and actions. The more expertise you have, the greater your credibility.

3. EI

Being self-aware of your actions and the impact of your emotions on yourself and others. Do you have empathy for others? How do you manage your emotions in the moment of choice?

4. Diversity

Are you diverse in your thoughts, approaches to various challenges, and in your actions and behavior? Do you walk your talk on diversity?

5. Integrity

What are the choices you make in every moment? Are you committing to something that you consistently fail to deliver? By not keeping up your word, you build a bad image for yourself and sacrifice your integrity.

6. Buoyant

Negativity breeds negativity and you know how demoralizing that can be. Be optimistic and cheerful despite the odds in life.

7. Intuition

Trust your instincts and gut. You need to know yourself inside out. Is your behavior and actions reflecting your core values? Are you a person who can be relied upon?

Do you stay #true to your word? #credibility #trust #peopleskills #communication #image

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8. Leadership

You increase your credibility with all the above factors. You are someone who knows that the only way to get the best out of an argument is to avoid it. You learn from mistakes and are willing to accept your mistakes. You enhance your credibility when you lead by example and inspire others.

9. Ingenious

Your credibility is enhanced when you show how resourceful and inspiring you can be by your actions and behavior. I was prepared for the what in the training room and I dealt with the how by being present to what was happening in the room.

#Life is not a script and it is up to each of us to be enterprising to the situation at hand.

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10.Thoughtfulness

You could have years of experience, an excellent IQ but without being thoughtful to others feelings and emotions, you cannot get credibility nor maintain credibility. Be considerate to others and care for others.

11. Yes

Credibility is saying yes to all of the above because “you matter” and thus your credibility.

 

How do you bring credibility to what you do?

How do you add credibility to who you are?

Are you looking to enhance your executive presence, improve the way you communicate and inspire others as a leader? Please connect with me for one-on-one coaching or group workshops or webinars or learn more on what suits your needs.

 

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Filed Under: Attitude, Brand You, Character, Coaching, Communication, Customer Service and Sales, Emotions, Energize Your Leadership, Habits, Integrity, Lead By Example, Lead From Within, Leadership & Personal Development, Life, Relationships Tagged With: Buoyant, Communication, credibility, diversity, EI, integrity, Intuition, Leadership, leadfromwithin, respect

5 Sure Ways To Manage Procrastination

29 April 2015 By Lalita Raman Leave a Comment

Source : National Geographic

As an entrepreneur and freelance consultant, I envision and strive to connect with my clients and grow my business and reach.

Growing my business and its reach is also a challenge, I need to face and overcome on a daily basis, and on some days I tend to procrastinate on better or improved ways to do it. I ask myself as to where I can grow and do better and thus push myself beyond my comfort zone.

Whilst I enjoy coaching, facilitating, speaking and designing workshops and preparing content for it, there are other activities that I usually tend to put away. Activities such as networking, finding clients who will benefit from coaching, writing my book (work in process), though I enjoy, I tend to push it away to either a later time or even worse, to a later day.

I think this happens because many times, my brain doesn’t see the immediate reward and thus it triggers various emotions such as self-criticizing, judgment, frustration and self-doubt.

Many clients whom I coach face a common barrier in time management and procrastination. Their barriers could result from lack of motivation, being a victim to  “The Tyranny of the Urgent”, or not being committed to what they want to achieve.

⇒How do you motivate yourself to take that next step?
⇒What can you do to manage your time in a day better?
⇒What are some of the reasons for not feeling a sense of urgency to accomplish a goal?
⇒How driven are you by your list of things to do? Are you able to see the link between what you need to do in order to get what you want?
⇒How are you managing your conflicting emotions and thus your brain to move forward and not procrastinate?

What strategies can you use to give you that adrenalin to “Just Do It”?

 

1. Use of words

What words are you using with respect to the activity that you are procrastinating on?

Is it necessity words like should be/do, must do, have to do, ought to, Or
probability words like could do, can do, may do, I will try, I might be able to Or
possibility words like I want to, I love to, I like to, will do

2. Feelings

Once you have Identified the words you use to activities which you tend to drag your feet on, ask yourself what feelings do those words generate in you? What emotions do those feelings generate? What do you do with those emotions? Do you get into a critical mood or a self-pity mode? How is that helping you? Acknowledge your feelings and emotions and what are some of the ways you can best manage that.

3. The Past

On activities that you have procrastinated on, in the past, what changed for you to get it done? How did you motivate yourself? What words did you use? Did you seek guidance or advise from a friend or mentor?

4. The “Why”

Ask yourself what is the purpose of what you are doing? Linking to the why I do what I do helps me to continue my journey towards achieving my goal and vision though I may not be necessarily motivated with each and every aspect of that path. 

Reminding myself of “The Why” keeps me focused and gives me the #clarity and sense of direction.

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5. Manage

We are emotional beings and it is not possible to live without emotions nor suppress them. What we can do is to manage our emotions. Find the why, small rewards that keeps me going, taking a break, asking what is in that activity that triggers the emotions are some of the ways I find it useful to manage my procrastination. Writing down your ideal day and your day as is will help you identify the gaps and help you overcome them. Whose help or what resources do you need to give you that boost to move forward?

6. Mindfulness

We think we multitask. Science has proved that our brains cannot multi task. Two activities that require us to use our executive center of the brain, The Pre-Frontal Cortex, cannot be done at the same time. When we engage in multitasking, we overwhelm our brain and that results in lack of focus and thus in not delivering the desired results.

#Mindfulness is a great way to bring focus back to our task in hand #leadfromwithin

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What strategies have you adopted to get over procrastination?
How do you motivate yourself to do the tasks which are necessary but you may not be excited about?

Let’s connect to continue the conversation.

Co Author of the Book “Energize Your Leadership”  Buy Now

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Filed Under: Attitude, Coaching, Communication, Emotions, Energize Your Leadership, Lead By Example, Lead From Within, Leadership & Personal Development, Life, Meditation, Mindfulness Tagged With: clarity, coaching, EI, emotions, Leadership, mindfulness, motivate, prefrontal cortex, Procrastinate, purpose

Five Proven Ways To Manage The Leadership Development Process

15 April 2015 By Lalita Raman Leave a Comment

I was at yoga for a Hot Flow class the other day. Flow as the name suggests is a dynamic sequence of yoga asanas (poses) in a heated room. The instructor mentioned that he would like each of us to transition from one pose to another, effortlessly and without strain or stress. And where we felt it was challenging to breathe, he asked us to be in the moment and not get overwhelmed. He asked us to be aware of and acknowledge what we are going through, and instead of giving up, to do what each of us are capable of in that moment. The most important thing was not to let our emotion of feeling flustered or stressed take over us in who we are or seek to be in that moment. Essentially, he asked us to “level up”.

When he said this, I realized that when we are in a flow, be it while writing, speaking, presenting, at a meeting, at work or at the gym, we are focused and there is synchronization of what we are doing, our state of being, our thoughts, feelings, and our breath. We are so involved in that state that we forget everything else and are present in that moment fully. The real test to mindfulness is when we are quite not in that state of flow.

In yoga, when the heat in the room and the pose gets challenging, our breath gets affected and thus the way we are and the way we do the pose in turn gets affected. If you get frustrated and irritated at this moment, you run the risk of injuring yourself.

→What is the connection between yoga in a heated room and life and leadership?←

Life throws many challenging moments in our way and in navigating through those challenges, we feel stuck. We quite often feel we are on a hamster wheel, unable to get off.

Things often go wrong, and yet life goes on. As difficult it may seem, it is up to each of us to pick the threads of learning, march forward and move on.

Your #Attitudes form part of your recurring #thoughts, #behaviors and #feelings.

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 And when the flow seems shaken, it is our attitude that we need to manage.

We go about our daily living largely oblivious to how we are doing things; they have become so familiar that they are transparent. A breakdown is breaking down of our transparency so that what was present and in the background becomes prominent and to the foreground of our attention.

A breakdown can be seen as an interruption to the normal and anticipated flow of life we find ourselves in. And it is an assessment by each of us that something has not happened, or is not happening, or likely to happen, the way we think it should, and that we, and possibly others, will be worse off because of this. Breakdowns can be positive or negative. A positive breakdown is when a concern has unexpectedly been taken care of. A negative breakdown is an assessment that a concern is not being taken care of.

A positive breakdown, for example, could be a promotion and moving to a different location. Whilst it does interrupt the usual set of activities, this interruption results from positive news. A negative breakdown could be something as simple as somebody not delivering on their commitment which causes a breakdown in your ability to deliver something on time.

Quite often when there is a breakdown, we make a judgement or opinion about the breakdown and an assessment about our capacity to deal with the breakdown. Emotions are an integral part of the observation of our breakdown and, as predispositions for action, influence our capacity to deal with the breakdown. Breakdown of flow thus can make us feel stressed, irritated, frustrated, angry, bored, anxious, and at times it may turn into apathy.

⇒In organizations, do leaders experience a break in the flow of things ?

⇒Do organizations experience a break in the flow of their leadership development strategy?

Many executives are thrown at the deep end of things, possibly, deep beyond their depths and they are expected to manage, lead and yet deliver spectacular results. Not every high potential is given the benefit of hiring a coach who can assist them through the transition.

In my 20 years, whilst working in the Corporate World, I have seen many executives who stretched themselves beyond their comfort zone, felt uncomfortable with the not so smooth flow and yet overcame their challenges and succeeded. Yet, I have seen others where the person was unable to navigate through the changes and challenges and achieve the result that was expected of them.

How do you as a leader manage the flow of leadership development in your organization?

 1. Be a sounding board

#Leaders who want to develop others realize that #success doesn’t come from #control and #command nor by telling people what to do.

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They create an environment where they listen, ask relevant questions, encourage, and act as a sounding board. They challenge their team yet know when to give guidance.

2. See the benefit of coaching

The “manager as a coach” is a culture that many organizations are trying to adopt. Whilst there are benefits to this, there are leaders and a cohort within the senior team who are better off getting an external coach to assist them in their leadership development path. Investing in the development path of your high potentials at the right time pays rich dividends. A leader who cares and is concerned will not be indifferent to making this investment when necessary.

3. Take calculated risks

A leader who knows their team well knows when to take risks in terms of the development strategy of their team members. They have the capability to judge the prospective ability of each of their high potentials. They know through a process of communication, clarity and observation when to challenge, when to give assistance and at the same time weigh in the costs and benefits of each of these steps within the organizational needs.

4. Deal with the challenges

A #leader knows how to deal with disappointments, mistakes and a break in the #flow. #leadfromwithin

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They are experienced and where they don’t know they consult, and seek guidance.

5. See the Big picture

Let go are too easy words but one of the most difficult to practice as a behavior.

A #leader is a #learner and a #mentor, they learn from others because they understand that learning never stops.

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 They learn from their mistakes, challenges and on their journey of life. They are able to predict based on their understanding of the business environment and the people who work with them. They know how to be persistent and yet when to let go.

The flow of Leadership Development is not an easy path and yet it is one where a successful leader knows when to take risks, when to ask for help and they adopt a can-do attitude in building the leaders of tomorrow and in their success.

It is human to experience a dynamic interplay between language, emotions and body when you feel disappointed, frustrated, bored, or stuck and when you feel that, ask:

→What is causing the breakdown in the flow?←
→What is boring you and why?←
→How can you spark your interest and get going with renewed energy ?←
→What are the changes you need to make to get back in the flow?←

FOR SPEAKING, ONE-ON-ONE COACHING, WORKSHOP FACILITATION, TRAINING OR GROUP COACHING, PLEASE CONNECT.

BOOK LAUNCH ON APRIL 20, 2015. BUY YOUR COPY ON APRIL 20, 2015.

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Filed Under: Attitude, Character, Coaching, Communication, Emotions, Habits, Integrity, Lead By Example, Lead From Within, Leadership & Personal Development, Life, Meditation, Mindfulness Tagged With: changes, coaching, Culture, EI, flow, leaders, Leadership, leadership development

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