Transitions | Little Things That Matter

6 Fences To Build For Yourself

10 January 2017 By Lalita Raman Leave a Comment

Recently, I watched the movie Fences, in which Troy Maxson (Denzel Washington) makes his living as a sanitation worker in 1950s Pittsburgh. Maxson once dreamed of becoming a professional baseball player, but was deemed too old when the major leagues began admitting black athletes. Bitter over his missed opportunity, Troy creates further tension in his family when he squashes his son’s (Jovan Adepo) chance to meet a college football recruiter (source IMDb)

In this movie, Troy decides to build a fence around his house and he does this over several years and it is finally completed near the end of the movie. What has the name Fences got to do with the movie? It could be a depiction of Troy’s way of keeping his fears out or could be construed as him trying to build the emotional barriers between himself and his sons. It could also be interpreted as Rose’s (Troy’s wife) way of keeping her family protected and safe.

As I was watching the movie, I was thinking of what Fences are we building around our self and which of them do we really need?

What are the fences that we need to build and what do we need to get rid of ?

⇒6 Fences you may want to consider to build

1.Lighten Your Load

Often, when we travel, we carry heavy baggage that slows us down. A lot of this heavy baggage, in daily life, comes from negativity and getting stuck in our way of thinking. You can break the fences, by keeping an open mind and a positive attitude. Keeping a frozen mind does not help us to see things from a different perspective.

Try honestly to see things from the other person’s #perspective to lighten your load. #resilience

2.Believe In Yourself

The grass looks greener on the other side and it does not have to be if you believe in yourself and keep your expectations optimistically positive. Unless and until your trust yourself and believe in your abilities and work towards your dream, no one else will.

Believing in yourself means breaking down the fences of self-doubt and fear. #transitions

Learn from every experience by asking what you did well and what you could do different. #leadership

3.Be Accountable

Are you clear about your priorities? Do you evaluate and reflect on them often? It is important to determine what is important along a time frame – 1 year, 6 months, 3 months, and so on and fine tune it to a daily basis. Trying to please everyone is not possible and take responsibility in setting boundaries that will help you to say yes only to things that are important.

Setting priorities and non-negotiable boundaries/fences will help you to be #accountable.

4.Listen

Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves – Dale Carnegie.

As a human being and a leader, it is about how well you listen. You may have the gift of gab and it takes self-regulation and awareness to step back and listen. Are you building fences in a way that stops you from listening to others?

5.Care

Do you care for your team and build relationships? Do you connect with your team and build rapport and trust with them? Are you, your clients trusted advisor? Make people with whom you work realize that they matter and appreciate them for things they do well.

Don’t build a fence around yourself from connecting with your team and who they are. #leadership

6.Personal growth and development

Do you give enough time for your own personal growth and development? A leader recognizes the importance of willingness to grow and develop their skills and thinking. Break down the fences that stops you from investing in your learning and development, be it your negativity, your excuses, or anything else.

Strive to keep learning and growing to be dynamic, up to date and be value added. #leadership

What fences are you locking yourself in?

Set yourself free from all those fences that stops you from using your abilities, believing in yourself and to be who you are.

Connect with me for one-on-one coaching or group coaching or facilitation of workshops or training or as a keynote speaker on areas of communication and leadership.

Five Keys To Leadership Excellence

27 January 2016 By Lalita Raman Leave a Comment

The weather this past weekend was cold in some parts of the world and bitterly freezing in other parts. Most people when asked, how are you, were replying “it is cold”. The cold season shall pass and then we will slowly come to the peak of summer with temperatures in some parts of the world going up to 50°C or more. Extreme cold or heat is not something most of us are comfortable with.

Moderate weather, like fall or spring, is what most of us can bear and are comfortable with.

→How are you adopting moderation in your life?

#Moderation, not mediocrity, is something that will help you move forward. #transitions #leadership.

#Moderation in moving towards excellence is key to #influencing others #positively.#transitions

→Are you being mediocre or moderate in who you are?

→What kind of environment are you creating around you?

→Are you expecting people to work in a manner that burns them out?

Moderation is key to leadership excellence – How does moderation help you to succeed?

1.Communicate

We live in a world of Communication and Volatile behavior of being too excited, too angry, too sad will show up in the way you communicate. If your thoughts are not emotionally balanced, then your words will be affected. Our words do not just give information, they influence how people connect with us and see us.

#Moderation in your thoughts helps the way you communicate and reframe your #communication.

2.Connect

We are social animals and connection with others is how we thrive. We need to learn from our mistakes. As a leader what are your behaviors and actions? Does it connect or isolate? Extreme enthusiasm, passion or apathy does not create trust or a foundation for long-term relationships. Seek to connect with genuine interest in the other person.

3.Appreciate

Silent gratitude is no good. Learn to appreciate and recognize your team’s effort and what they have done well. Don’t indulge in flattery but give honest and sincere appreciation.

4.Compassion

Connect and care with your compassion and not by being a task master. Your compassion will enable you to listen, observe and learn about your team.

5.Emotional Intelligence

What emotions come up for you in different situations? How do you manage them, in being a role model? Be aware of your emotions and recognize them and do not be a victim of your primitive brain causing an amygdala hijack. Stop second guessing every decision you make and agonizing over whether you made the right one or not. Whilst reflection is necessary, having doubts over every decision affects your EI and leadership. Trust your intuition, reflect on what went well and what can be done to improver. Overall trust yourself and have the EI to be moderate in your behaviors and actions to self and others.

#Leadership is not about mediocrity and accepting status quo, but the ability to #inspire others.

Click To Tweet

Moderation in all walks of life gives clarity and balance, why would you deny yourself that ?

Transitions in life puts us through challenges and moderation is key to go through such transitions to grow and develop. Please consult me if you are looking for one-on-one coaching, training, group coaching or to speak on motivational topics.

Leadership : The Power of Influence Or “Cry Wolf”?

13 October 2015 By Lalita Raman 2 Comments

As a child, I remember hearing this story of The Boy Who Cried Wolf, where, the tale concerns a shepherd boy, Peter, who repeatedly tricks nearby villagers into thinking a wolf is attacking his flock. When one actually does appear and Peter again calls for help, the villagers believe that it is another false alarm and the sheep are eaten by the wolf. At last, Peter learnt his lesson, that if you always tell lies, people will eventually stop believing you; and then when you’re telling the truth for a change, when you really need them to believe you, they won’t.

?? How often is this story, true in our daily lives?
?? How many times have you met people who say

→they will deliver you something within a specified time frame and you don’t hear back from them within the specified time
→ their customer service will help you and when you need help and engage with them, you waste your time and the issue still doesn’t get resolved
→ they are right and they denounce you when you disagree, even when you disagree with evidence.
→are listening but are engaged on their mobile, their own thoughts and activities
→they are the best and are so consumed with what they get and are frozen with their point of view.

Credibility cannot be built and enhanced when

1. You are narcissistic

When you are self-centered, your actions show that you are looking out for yourself. Your choices and decisions are made to make you look best. Your actions are manipulative and you are concerned about what is best for you and no one else.
If you are a self-centered and narcissistic person, you will not motivate or inspire others. People will stop believing in you.

2. You are egoistic

If you only see what your eyes want to see, and don’t want to believe in others and what they are capable of, you will be seen as an egoist. When what you say and how you say and act is based on your own interests and advancement of the same, people will stop giving you respect,

3. You are inconsistent

When you actions are not in line with what you say, you are considered inconsistent and somebody who cannot be relied on. Your actions speak who you are and not only talk your talk but walk your talk to enhance your credibility.

4. You are insecure

Your actions do not motivate others and you don’t believe in others. You do not appreciate or recognize others for what they do well. You don’t make your team feel valued or wanted. You are driven by a sense of insecurity about your position and fail to inspire your team. Your insecurity results in you not looking after your team interests and caring for their growth and development.

5. You don’t communicate

You are open about the way you criticize, condemn and complain, yet, you don’t take time to value your team’s valid contributions. You instill fear in others in the what you communicate and how you communicate. You give feedback when it suits you instead of giving regular constructive feedback. You install a change and do not communicate or assist people through the transition.

Communication is effective when you listen to understand, empathize and empower your team to deliver what they need to deliver and do best. Credibility is built and enhanced by the way you communicate and treat your team.

Credibility is not built-in a day and yet it takes a fraction of a second to damage it. You will be followed as a leader when you inspire others by your actions. Earn your credibility by being true to your word.

#Influential #leaders build #credibility and they welcome diverse points of view. #transitions #leadership

They cultivate an environment to promote diversity. They not only believe in their own power but also in the power of others.

#Influential #leaders believe in the potential of others and are not self-centered. #transitions #leadership

Transitions sometimes affect your power of influence and in order to continue to be credible, seek the assistance of a coach. Connect with me for one-on-one coaching, group coaching or training.

Five Ways How Yoga Can Make you a Better Leader

31 August 2015 By Lalita Raman 2 Comments

Why Do You Do What You Do ?

Fitness is not just about how physically fit you are. It is about “the intention” with which you work-out at the gym (cardio and/or weights training), or while walking, running or practicing yoga. And in any of these forms of fitness training, physical fitness cannot be achieved without the mental well-being. Setting an intention ahead of the workout helps you to be #mindful on the path to achieving your goal.

Setting an #intention is about being conscious of #why you do what you do. #leadership #mindfulness #transitions

Most of us experience overwhelm on some days of the week in our lives. Overcoming stress is about taking the right mental attitude to deal with what causes the exhaustion and overwhelm.

Yoga is not just about relaxing, it is about meditation in flow and mindfulness whilst doing the various asanas (poses). It is not about what you want but what you achieve and yoga helps you to do that.

Yoga can be practiced in addition to your gym or running or in isolation.

Here are my favorite reasons to bring yoga as part of your daily life as an entrepreneur and leader

1. Letting Go of Control

As an entrepreneur or as an employee, you are constantly making decisions and doing something. You are also possibly managing people and coordinating your team’s efforts. If you go to a yoga class, you are led by the instructor. Of course, you choose whose class you want to attend, the type of class you want to attend. Once you are in the class, there is no turning back. You need to go with the flow. You learn to appreciate the importance of giving clear instructions and showing empathy whilst doing the same. Even if you are used to a particular instructor’s style, each day is different for them and you and you have to learn to give in and be in the moment. Not doing so leads to irritation, stress and finally not achieving the purpose of being at yoga.

[Tweet “As a #leader, you need to let go and be in the moment to #trust your gut and your team. #leadership]

2. Do away with Judgment

Over more than 10 years that I have been practicing yoga, I have realized that whenever I judge myself, I lose my focus and chances of injury are higher. Reacting to frustrations or letting your ego get the better of you during yoga makes you distracted, and the results not so desirable.

As an entrepreneur and leader, growth and development is key and making judgment on yourself and others, distracts and deters you from achieving your goal.

3. Patience

Yoga teaches you to be patient. Each day is different and your mental and physical being is different. If you don’t realize and accept this, you can experience frustration. In our daily life, it takes time to reach our goal and achieve our vision. Progress is made slowly and yoga teaches you to be humble and patient. What is most important in your life’s journey is your intention, effort and passion.

4. Connecting

Working and thinking non-stop tires your brain. To be effective and efficient, you need to take timely breaks. Yoga helps you to connect with yourself by quietening your mind. It helps you foster mindfulness and gives your brain the much required break. To get over overwhelm and exhaustion, set aside time for mindfulness through yoga.

This helps you to be creative and get the breakthroughs you are seeking.

5. The Discipline of Flexibility

Every yoga practice requires an open mind and the willingness to accept that moment. To find the agility and flow despite what you are feeling in your body and mind, requires you to be adaptable.

In the same way, entrepreneurs and leaders need to be adaptable in their approach and flexible in the way they communicate.

When we are flexible and implement a wider range of communication skills and take risks to step out of our comfort zones, we become more open-minded and influence others as leaders in who we are ~Lalita

Yoga is a journey that teaches you to be humble, patient, step out of your comfort zone and learn to live in the moment. This is the journey that a leader needs to adopt to be inspirational and influential.

Leading an intentional life is about being conscious of your choices, leading from within, cherishing your relationships and your every living moment.

Yoga has made me resilient and look at life mind fully and with enthusiasm, no matter what transitions in life I have had to face.

If you are looking to enhance your executive presence through transitions you face, please connect with me and let’s have a chat.

Life is A Choice – What Choices Are You Making?

10 August 2015 By Lalita Raman Leave a Comment

Each day we are faced with decisions and also correspondingly we are faced with choices. Even not making a choice, is a choice you make.

From what time you get off your bed, skip your breakfast, the color you will wear, your reactions to letting things go, to remaining silent on issues- these are all decisions we make each day and these decisions are based on choices we make.

Have you heard remarks similar to

– Lucky you, you have no kids, so you can decide whenever you want, to take holidays.
– it is amazing how you always make time to work out
– I envy you for the flexible work schedule that you have
– your house is so clean, I wish I could keep mine clean too
– how do you manage to organize yourself so well, day in and day out.

Do you realize that each of the above is a matter of choice? By deciding to go with the flow is also a choice you have made. Yes when we are kids, most decisions are made by our parents. However, thereafter, our life is based on decisions we take as a result of the choices we make. Choices are at the core of the fine line between Yes and No.

Without making a #choice, #uncertainty exists, and we feel #unsettling. #life #transitions

Even in those moments in life when we feel we are taking chances, we are making choices. This may be a choice to do what we think is best at that moment in time.

You are making a choice in

→1. Who are your friends ?
→2. Who do you spend most of your time with?
→3. What typically is the theme of most of your conversations in your interactions?
→4. How do you talk about your upbringing and your parents?
→5. Do you use your sense of humor appropriately ?
→6. What type of books do you read?
→7. How often do you smile? Do you smile when you are overcome with anger to ease the emotion off?
→8. How do you react to injustice ?
→9. Do you tend to pass judgment and go with your bias?
→10. What do you eat most often?
→11. How important is time to you?
→12. How committed are you to your word?
→13. What type of movies and television programs do you watch ?
→14. How do you treat people who are of no significance to you ?
→15. How do you face and overcome challenges?
→16. What do you do in your spare time?
→17. Who are you when no one is watching ?
→18. How do you treat your body, mind and soul?
→19. What importance do you give to your health?
→20. What kind of clothes do you wear ?
→21. Do you take every chance to humiliate and insult someone else under the garb of sarcasm?
→22. Whose calls do you return?
→23. Do you choose to be a different person at home and socially ?
→24. Do you complain, criticize and condemn, most times?
→25. Do you hear or do you listen to understand ?
→26. Do you like to gossip ?
→27. What value does money play in your life?
→28. Do you tend to go with the flow or go with your inner voice?
→29. Do you disagree for the sake of disagreeing?
→30. How organized are you ?
→31. Do you always blame others for all your mistakes ?
→32. Do you accept your mistakes when you make one?
→33. How well do you use Sorry and Thank you ?
→34. How is your concentration on things you are doing ?
→35. Do you expect of others what you do not or wouldn’t do yourself?
→36. How do you manage emotions?
→37. How authentic are you in who you are and what you do?
→38. How do you treat feedback from others?
→39. How much do you allow your ego to control you ?
→40. How humble are you in your victories?
→41. What gets you out of bed?
→42. What angers you the most?
→43. Do you treat each person for who they are or do you tend to generalize and stereotype?
→44. What behaviors upset you ?
→45. How do you handle adversities that come your way?
→46. Do you consent to anything or do you want compliance to whatever you say?
→47. How do you take care of yourself?
→48. How much encouragement and appreciation do you give to your colleagues, team members, family and friends?
→49. When you have time, what do you reflect on?
→50. How do you communicate with people in your life?

The choices you make with respect to each of the above affects who you are. The above random list of 50 lays the framework for

What defines you?

What determines you?

Whom do you want to be ?

What choices have you made in the past and how could you have improved those for the current moment and the future ?

#Life Is A #Choice, Make The Most Of It. #transitions #changes #positivity

How are you making your choices?

Any transition in our life creates a challenge. A transition is about a choice when you make one and if you are part of a transition beyond your control, you make a choice in how you handle it.

To breakthrough an impasse, deal with Transitions and Enhance Your Executive Presence, connect with me.

Why Brand You, Brand Your Organization Matters In Your Success?

23 April 2015 By Lalita Raman Leave a Comment

Excerpt from my “Energize Your Leadership” chapter.

For me, identifying and connecting to my vision, helped me Energized My Brand and What I do.

I was diagnosed with juvenile diabetes at the age of 8. I gradually learned what it means to live as a diabetic, from adapting my diet to self- injecting insulin doses daily. You could say I had a head start in resiliency-building, learning along the way that I did not have to let the process of managing my health keep me from pursuing my dreams and goals. With my family’s support, and my own determination and adaptability, I have successfully managed my condition ever since.

When it came time to decide on a career, I gravitated towards those vocations that would allow me to help people. Based on my doctor and my parents advise to achieve my vision of helping people through a different path, I chose a faculty in Business and Commerce, different from my first choice (medical doctor).

After graduation, I became a chartered accountant and began living my new dream of joining an International Bank. My trademark resilience and drive came into play despite my fears about the aggressive nature of the investment world. I thrived and excelled in a male-dominated industry, positively impacted the ROI of my clients and grew a loyal client base.

I didn’t realize it at the time, but I was building a personal brand of Resilience. Years later, a conversation with a friend prompted me to revisit my brand – specifically, what did my brand mean? What did I want it to represent? Yes, I was resilient – it was who I was at the core, but how was it manifesting itself more widely than simply as a reactive stance? In other words, how was I to take my personal brand and actually be proactive in doing something with it instead of just pulling it out when confronted with challenges?

This was when I realized that I wanted to use my brand to help others recognize theirs. This was my “aha” moment – where I reconnected with my purpose, inner drive and vision of helping people. I wanted to build an organization and a life where not only I was resilient, but the organization itself was based on the concept of resilience.

So I quit the corporate world and set up my company. By becoming an executive coach and trainer, I reinvented myself and translated my vision into one that could help people on their own journeys of growth and development.

As with any deep and worthwhile journey, there are still challenges and setbacks along the way.

I’ve had to remember to be patient and kind to myself. I am still living – and creating – this transition from an investment banker to an executive coach and trainer. When I look at the transition, I see that I’ve made it a success by training and coaching myself, practicing relentlessly and living many aspects of my life out of my comfort zone.

I love to #motivate, #inspire and #support people’s positive potential #EnergizedLeaders

Helping my clients to be their best and become better communicators and better leaders brings me a joy that I never found in the investment world.

My resilience, persistence, willingness to take risks in life and follow my vision with not only passion but patience and endurance have given me invaluable insights to energized leadership.

Reconnecting with my vision has not only helped me steer through difficulties and challenges, but has helped me define myself and my brand, and develop the resilience to joyfully embrace this journey called “My Life.”

LESSONS LEARNED

My values and vision have shaped who I am and what I do, and have guided me through my corporate career of 20 years and into my current journey as a coach and trainer.

A brand needs to have a strong foundation. The foundations of authentic brands are found in the people who support those brands and the individuals who see their personal brand as being synchronous with the organization’s brand.

How do you become a force of your own life? I have learnt invaluable lessons along the way of my journey. More in-depth insights are provided in the book Energize Your Leadership.

This article is an except from my chapter in “Energize Your Leadership,” a collaborative book project with 16 experts advice on how to ignite, discover, and breakthrough. Order your copy now!

Connect with me on Transitions Intl Ltd.