Last Saturday, we went to a Restaurant which was highly recommended by one of our friends. We reached the restaurant 5 minutes earlier than the time we had been booked for. As we entered the restaurant, we were “lost” because no one seemed to be asking us, “do you have a reservation”? or “may I help you”? We hung around there for a while and since no one seemed to be attending to us, I decided to proceed further in and ask one of the staff from the restaurant, if this was in fact the right place. He immediately confirmed we were and directed us towards the entrance, saying the lady near the computer will be able to help us.
She seemed totally disinterested in the way she took our name, and cross checked the details of our booking. She then as a matter of fact stated that the table was not ready and that we would need to wait. She asked us if we would like a drink and we placed our order. To add to the indifference that was shown till then, we got the wrong drink. Finally, after 15 minutes, we get accompanied by a lady who looked lost, confused and did not know how to communicate. She showed us to one table which didn’t look very clean and then she turned around and said, that we need to wait for another 5 minutes before they can arrange a better table. By then, I lost my patience and asked if they were interested in serving us or should we find a different restaurant.
Right from the word go, here was a case of someone not caring to show courtesy. Courtesy is important and should be part of each individual’s behavior in their day-to-day dealings.
Courtesy builds rapport, enhances relationship and yet in the busy state of life, people tend to forget to be courteous.
Courtesy is
- Giving your full attention to the person whom you are interacting with.
- Not having a “conversation” with your phone whilst you are in a restaurant, in a meeting, or in conversation with someone.
- Saying “excuse me” at the gym or at the yoga studio or whilst walking on the road, instead of elbowing someone.
- Not stepping on someone’s yoga mat or equipment in the yoga studio or at the gymnasium.
- Occupying your 2×2 space at the gymnasium instead of the whole changing room.
- Not talking loudly on the phone whilst you are in a public place be it at a restaurant, train, bus, whilst standing in a queue or check in counter at the airport.
- Not probe into someone’s personal life.
- Not ask someone what salary they are earning or why they have no kids.
- Not to eat or drink while checking out at a supermarket
- Not to chew loudly in a restaurant or at your office or at any public place.
- Saying thank you to anyone who serves you at a bank, restaurant or any other service place or when someone holds the door for you.
- Saying sorry when you are wrong.
- Not to reserve a place in a queue especially when the other person is not ready.
- Smiling because it costs nothing and can brighten your day and someone else’s day.
- Acknowledging an email or chat which has been addressed to you within a reasonable period of time.
- Remembering someone’s name because that is the sweetest sound to any person in any language.
- Keeping up your word.
- Saying no to some things so that you can deliver your commitments that you have said to.
- Being on time and not taking someone else’s time for granted.
- Giving back a book or dress or anything that you may have borrowed from another person and making sure that you return it in a good condition.
- Treating others with humility.
- Making eye contact when you are conversing with someone.
- Saying please instead of directing someone to do something
- Making a person feel welcome when they visit your house or your restaurant.
- Giving personal space to each one whilst standing in a queue.
- Allowing people to get out of the elevator, bus or train before getting in.
- Not playing your music loudly or not snoring whilst traveling on a flight or train.
- Not getting mega size bags with you and trying to load it as cabin bags.
- Giving your seat to somebody who is in need from an age perspective or a pregnant woman.
- Not being narcissistic all the time.
How are you being courteous in your daily life?
What other items would you like to add to the above on courtesy?
For one-on-one coaching or group coaching or training or facilitation or training on Conversational Intelligence within a team, one on one, with your boss or any difficult conversations, please consult me.
