Little Things That Matter

Learn From The Past, Live The Present and Have An Open Mind to Face Tomorrow

Little Things That Matter In Life.

By Leave a Comment

I received a text from a friend of mine asking me how I was doing and specifically on something that I had discussed with her that was worrying me. I felt thrilled on receiving the message from her. Another friend of mine who was with me, while I received this asked me why I felt so thrilled with the message. I told her that I felt thrilled because it is the thought that counts.

A simple wish, a message or phone call asking you how you are or wishing you for your birthday or good luck means much more than someone who does not bother to wish you or ask you how you are. Most of us have friends or relatives who rarely think of us and may be buy us a gift once in a while and make a big ado about this. Yet, there are others who with their simple thoughts and kind deeds make your day. It is not the big or expensive gifts that necessarily count but a gift or thought no matter how small, is much more precious because at least that person has made an effort to think of you and is doing it with their heart and soul.

Life is made of moments and every little thing counts because it these little things that make up life’s moments. Significant and big things are important to each of us and yet it is the little things that make each day and give us that pleasure and joy. Let us learn to recognize it, feel it, sense it and appreciate it

Life is what we make of it and there are many things which is beyond our control. When life throws you a curve ball and she does throw this ever so often, you can build your resilience by the attitude you take to life’s challenges. It is appreciating those little things in life which will enable us to see the positivity in the negativity that may surround us.

Here are some things which I appreciate in life:

1.Gratitude 

Reminding myself of things that went right no matter how small even on a day which felt horrible because of the events that happened on the day.

2.Exercise

Taking time consciously in a day to do gym and yoga. It is these moments which energizes me and helps me de-stress and live in that moment.

3.Nature

Time with nature when I do have the time to hike. Being with nature helps me find myself and provide clarity to me.

4.Appreciate  

The special people in your life, the thoughtful things they do for you, the good wishes they send your way.

5.Grounded

One of my yoga instructors made a great comment recently. While we were seated, she said, feel the grounding of any part of your body that is in contact with the ground. When she said that I immediately felt a gratitude for my hands and feet that work and is able.

6.Cooking

Preparing a dish or several dishes and letting your creativity flow.

7.Walking

Walking and feeling the air around you.

8.Thank you

A #thankyou from your heart ever so often not only cheers you up but brings #joy to others.

Click To Tweet

9.Thinking and reaching out

Reaching out to your friends or family and sending them good wishes.

10.Listening

Thank people who give you the gift of their time and sincere ears.

Give the #gift of your time to #listen with your ears, eye, heart and soul. #communication

Click To Tweet

Give your undivided attention to your family, near and dear ones and to your team.

11.Remembering names

“Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.” -Dale Carnegie. How do you feel when someone addresses you by their name? Each of us feel good when people remember our name. Let’s give that joy to someone else.

12.Asking About Personal Interests

Get to know a colleague of yours at a deeper level. What are their interests? Asking questions or commenting on such interests before or after a meeting or at lunch or after work builds a bridge of connection. This connection helps you to make that relationship stronger.

Little things matter because they help you to #appreciate #life and what you have. #gratitude

Click To Tweet

What are some of the things that you appreciate in life? Please feel free to share it in the comments box.

Please consult me for one-on-one coaching, facilitating work shops on communication, transitions, diversity or leadership.

5 Secrets To Good Conversations

By Leave a Comment

Three weeks back, I was facilitating a training, where we had just completed a module on capturing attention of the audience by way of brief and captivating personal stories. In the debrief, a challenge that was expressed by some participants was that they are no good at thinking of and telling stories. I did not want to disagree with them or persuade them otherwise. Instead, I got the group together in a circle and I said I’ll start by saying one or two words and we continue clock wise with each participant adding one of two words that link and make sense, till we build a meaningful story. Initially, some participants took a little longer than others. In the second round it got more interesting and quicker and we built a fun and captivating story at the end of 5 minutes. Five minutes is all it took to build a story and a conversation. The conversation flowed, creativity was at its best and the participants who were skeptical of their story telling skills at the outset, realized that they were unnecessarily giving in to their inner fears. There were smiles, positivity and a rise in energy at the end of this activity.

A month ago, I got an email through my website. I normally do not click open these random emails. This time, I clicked open only because the name of this person was the same as that of one of my school friends. When I opened this email, lo and behold, it was her. After 25+ years she had found me. We connected and chatted for almost an hour. It seemed we hadn’t lost contact. There were no inhibitions, no judgment and a conversation that just flowed.

How many times have been in conversations that felt like the two above?

How many times have we felt inspired by the conversation where the words and ideas are flowing like a painter painting with inspiration on his canvas.

What is the secret to such Good Conversations ?

1.Be Genuinely Interested In The Other Person

How have you felt when someone talks endlessly about themselves, their achievements, whom they know ?Boring.. and maybe you want to run away.

One of Dale Carnegie’s principles of Building Rapport with others is to “

“Become genuinely interested in other people”. #leadership #influence #communication

Click To Tweet

In his book “How To Win Friends and Influence People“, one of the examples he gives is when he met a distinguished botanist at a dinner party and the conversation that flowed thereafter. Dale Carnegie had never met a botanist before and found meeting the botanist fascinating. He, during the entire conversation with the botanist listened to the botanist. On his way out, the botanist was singing praises about Dale Carnegie to the host of the dinner party and called him a good conversationalist.

Dale Carnegie had listened and listened intently and he did so because he was genuinely interested.

Best conversations begin by showing genuine interest in other people, their world and what interests them.

2.Listening To Connect

Most of today’s conversations miss the mark because people are so involved in their smart phone that they don’t listen to understand. They do not even hear, forget about listening.

Even when listening happens, people are listening to react and respond.

If we don’t feel good when we are not listened to, why would we want to not listen to someone else?  Listen, Listen, Listen and there is no short cut to this .

Through #listening we #influence and we #connect. #leadership #communication #peopleskills

Click To Tweet

Throw yourself a challenge and listen actively to at least 5 conversations that you have per day, for the next 15 days. What did you experience? Feel free to share the experience.

3.Ask Questions To Engage

Asking good #questions is about showing genuine interest. #communication #leadership #influence

Click To Tweet

. Ask open ended questions and listen to the answers to engage in a good conversation. Probing and deep dive questions should be avoided if you are meeting the person for the first time or haven’t yet built a rapport. In fact, if you are genuinely interested in the person and the conversation, it is not difficult to ask relevant questions.

Questions are a great way to have a great conversation and be engaging, as long as they are relevant and appropriate.

4.Add Value

In any conversation, especially business conversations, always look for opportunities to add value.

Appeal to people’s nobler motives. #conversation #communication #transitions #leadership

Click To Tweet

Asking questions, listening and observing are some ways to add value to the conversation. Where possible lend a helping hand.

5.Meaningful Connection

Reach out to people in meaningful ways and have an open mind about building rapport when you meet somebody for the first time. Good conversations are those where a meaningful connection is made irrespective of when and with whom you connect. Be aware about time and the space where you have these conversations. Time pressure and lack of distraction free space may mar conversations, even before it starts.

What are some of the characteristics of a conversation you would call good? Please feel free to add that in the comments box.

If the way you communicate is standing in between where you are and where you desire to be in terms of achieving our goals, consult me either for one-on-one coaching, group coaching , facilitation, training or to be a key note speaker.

Is The Power Of Empathy Lacking In Leaders?

By Leave a Comment

Empathy, the ability to resonate with your requisite emotional response, to what others are experiencing in that moment.

“You are a Coach. One of the key essentials to being a good coach is to listen and not fix things”. This was one of the first things, I heard, in one of my coach certification trainings.

Empathy, is a necessity, not just as a coach, but as a human being in every walk of life including at work. Yet, it is lacking in many leaders, who need it the most.

Empathy is important in a cross cultural context, in evaluating somebody, in working with somebody, to understand what your customer needs and in the highly connected world that we live in where people are quite vocal in their opinions. You need empathy in understanding the dynamic needs of your audience, no matter, you are in sales, in back office, in front office, leadership and development facilitator or purchasing and requisition.

Two weeks back, a friend of mine was quite upset and frustrated. She narrated to me her experience, the previous day at work. One of her senior colleagues, did not give her an opportunity to do what she does best. He interrupted her, whilst she was doing her work and basically rode the show. Empathy was lacking from this senior colleague of hers who decided that he will have his way and not allow her to do what she is good at. His behavior of over dominance also caused her to doubt her confidence and her ability. This colleague had failed to see the world through her eyes and understand her perspective.

#Empathy is #listening and understanding others and goes beyond that. #leadership #peopleskills #transitions

Click To Tweet

 To be a good listener, it takes more than just hearing with your ears, as to what the person is saying—it requires focus, an innate desire, mindfulness and conscientiousness.

Empathy is:

→1. Allowing someone to do what they are good at and not standing in their way.
→2. If someone is not able to get to their goal, find out what stopped them from getting there and have the understanding to facilitate a solution that works best with that person and in that situation.
→3. If someone has made a mistake, calling attention to their mistakes indirectly. One way to do this is by asking questions.
→4. When you listen, you give your undivided attention of your mind, body and soul to the person who is talking. Listening requires concentration and this is evident not only from your ears but from your body language, your tone, your eyes and words. Know when to speak up and when to shut up.
→5.Understanding the cultural nuances with your observation powers, your ears and your heart.
→6. In the art of Persuasion, understand what is the benefit to that person and how does it matter to them ?
→7. To pick the cues in every relationship and in every conversation. How can you be empathetic if you have not been able to sense what the situation requires?
→8. When somebody is agitated, let them vent in a manner that is most suitable to that person and as the situation demands.
→9. Your behavior, your tone, your body language, and the words you choose can be the most effective form of empathy and make the fault seem easy to correct.
→10. Praise the slight improvement and praise every improvement. Be hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise- Dale Carnegie
→11. Asking questions instead of giving direct orders.
→12. Allowing someone to save face.
→13. Disagreeing agreeably with others. Giving respect to the other person’s opinion and never saying that they are wrong.
→14. Honoring your word and staying true to your commitment.
→15. Acknowledging the goodness in others and not allowing your judgment to mar that.

What would you like to add to the above list of Empathy ?

Empathy is the EI, the intellectual and emotional curiosity to see other people’s reality, and having the mindset to adapt to what the situation demands.

#Empathy is the #pathos in every #human connection. #leadership #transitions #peopleskills

Click To Tweet

You have a leadership mindset when you are empathetic which means you need to be focussed, mindful and adaptive to the current moment.

Empathy is imperative in transitions – to self and others, to see through the transitions that life journeys us through.  Connect with me if you need coaching either on a one-on-one or as a group, to manage transitions, at work or in life, through coaching. 

The 4 Cs Of Effective Communication

By Leave a Comment

It is no doubt that good leaders are also effective communicators.

“I don’t understand why anyone would have an issue with the way I communicate. I consider everyone’s view-point and yet my team and my boss feels that I am not being collaborative and I’m a control freak.”

This was the remark made by one of my clients (let’s call him Jeff) when I met him for the first time after he was assigned a coach by his organization.

Jeff had a tendency to talk indiscriminately. He never listened and never gave an opportunity to his audience, one on one or with several, to talk. At work, he overburdened his team, his peers, his direct reports with information. Added to this, he also had a habit of being in control too tightly; thus being perceived as stifling independent initiative. As a result of his micro-managing, he created resentment especially among his direct reports. Jeff caused ambiguity and unnecessary anxiety by not allowing others to talk and in not listening.

Jeff displayed strong self-confidence and his actions and behaviors indicated that he was in the best position to know what is really needed. He was thus perceived as self-centered or even arrogant at times; especially because he did not give others an opportunity to express themselves.

Is Communication “not listening”?

A colleague of mine has the habit of getting her family members and friends to say yes in a manner which is quite manipulative and coercive. She will ask those friends or family members to whom she has given gifts, isn’t what I gave you the best, you liked it no? I always give the best. She also has a habit of telling people to include her in her contact list and send her a what’s app and she asks them to do so by standing next to them and telling them to do so immediately. Whilst one can give her candid feedback about her gift and also say no or I’ll do it later to her what’s app request, most people don’t do so because no one wants to hurt her feelings. They also don’t want her to get upset on either being told ‘no’ or I’ll do it later.

Is Communication forcing yourself on others? Do you seek to force your opinion on others?

What is Effective Communication?

Those who inspire others as leaders influence by the way they act, how they communicate (what they say and how they say it). Bottom-line good leaders are good communicators.

Think about it, how can you inspire and influence others if you don’t communicate in a clear, credible and authentic way and don’t listen to what others have to say?

What are the key habits to adopt to become an effective communicator?

1. Connection

Communication is about engaging with others and in doing so you need to make the audience feel comfortable. For this you need to be self-aware – what is your communication style, what is working well and with whom and where you need to adapt. You need to understand others and adapt your style to make that connection.

Jeff was not self-aware nor did he take time to understand others.

2. Clarity and Conciseness

Communication does not mean you keep talking indiscriminately. Say what you have to say and say it in a concise way. Overloading people with information nonstop is not going to get or keep their attention. Being verbose kills your effectiveness. Be interactive and listen. Keep your communication simple, concrete and clear.

Jeff was thinking he was communicating effectively. However, he was the only one talking every time he was in conversation with another person – be it at meetings, one on one or on the phone. During his coaching, he realized he was long-winded and verbose in the way he communicated.

3. Confidence

Confidence is articulated in what you say and how you say it. Being self-confident doesn’t mean being self-centered and believing that you are the be all and end all to everything. Your words, facial expressions, body language, tone of voice all play an important part in the way others see you as confident or not.

#Confidence is also conveyed in the way you #listen. #communication

Click To Tweet

Part of confidence is about how charismatic you are. If you are distracted or too self-centered, you will not be able to connect with others.

4. Concentrate and Comprehend

Listen with your eyes and ears.

You listen for feeling, meaning, behavior in #empathetic #listening. #communication #EI

Click To Tweet

You sense what the other person is going through and you give your full undivided attention to your audience.

An effective and inspiring leader asks good questions and then listens with their eyes, ears, feeling and gives their full focus to their audience. You also look for the nonverbal cues. Sometimes a person’s facial expressions and body language will convey everything you need to know much more than their words.

Clearly, Jeff did not listen. Through coaching, he realized that even with his friends, he would ask a question and then interrupt them before they could complete a single sentence. He wanted to have a conversation with people but conversation was one way which was him talking continuously. My colleague, did the same by declaring her gift as the best and forcing people to do something without being empathetic to her audience. Her tone, body language and facial expressions were condescending and she did not give an opportunity to her audience to express their view-point.

5. Commitment

Say what you said you will do. Keep up your word. If you have delegated a task, provide an environment where you allow a person to grow and develop. By being a control freak, you will not gain the trust from others.

#Effective #communication is about how good are your inter-personal skills. #peopleskills #relationships

Click To Tweet

Communication is what you say and how you say and in all this no matter whether you are informing, convincing, engaging or having your audience take action, you should care for your audience. 

For one-on-one coaching, speaking, facilitation of workshops or training on communications and leadership, please connect. 

The “Why” of Questions

By Leave a Comment

Last week, when I was delivering a workshop on Building Your Executive Presence, one of the participants mentioned that her challenge was to answer questions at the end of a meeting or presentation. Questions often increase the pressure on the speaker in a presentation or during a meeting or interview.

However, asking questions shows enthusiasm on part of the listener. Asking questions enables the listener to seek more information, raise issues that you may not have thought of or makes you think of a different perspective. By asking relevant questions you enable a discussion perhaps to set the path to change the final decision.

Questions, if asked properly, with the right tone clarifies, digs deeper, elevates, adjoins and a person who is being asked questions should be happy about it unless they aren’t well prepared or want to avoid giving the answer or know the answer but aren’t in a position to disclose.

Proper questioning is becoming a lost skill or art.

If you have children and /or observe children, you will notice that they ask a lot of questions. They get to their end goal by asking their parents an incessant stream of questions like, Why do you do that? Or Why are you telling me not to do that ? Where are you going? Children, irrespective of culture or which country they come from, ask a lot of questions. However, when we become adults, there seems to be a sudden drop in questions.

→Why don’t adults ask questions?←

I have often heard the argument that children don’t understand many things and thus ask questions and as adults, we understand better and thus there is no necessity to ask so many questions.

I am not sure whether this argument holds any weight because we never stop learning and growing. We live in a world with attention spans getting shorter by the day. As a result, we are in a “get it done” mode instead of stepping back and asking “relevant” questions.

Our education system and the work environment rewards those who give solutions or answers. You are rarely rewarded for asking questions. By asking questions within your department or organization, you may be misunderstood as someone who is trying to rock the boat and also be considered a threat.

→Why the aversion to asking questions or being asked relevant questions?←

Is it fear or is it an indifference ?

As a leader, you want to be asking questions and you want to encourage those around you to ask relevant questions. You should know what kind of questions to ask, to arrive at better insights and decision-making.

#Questions are a great way to #engage your audience. #communication #EI #peopleskills

Click To Tweet

The type of questions you ask depends on what you are trying to get at. Are you trying to seek more information, clarify a doubt that you have, challenge a different way of thinking?

Uses for Questions

1. Clarify

Ask questions to clarify intent or understand what has been said. These questions are great because if you ask the right clarification questions, you understand your audience better. These questions are simple, yet we may hesitate to ask because we tend to make assumptions and are worried about what others may think, if we ask questions.

2. Exploratory

How so? These are questions that helps you to get an explanation on a particular topic. They help you to explore further. These exploratory questions helps you to deepen your understanding on a particular topic.

3. Leading questions

You use leading questions when you try to lead the audience to your way of thinking. You can use them when you want to get the answer you want and leave the other person feeling that they have had a choice in closing a deal or sale. e.g. If that answers all your questions, shall we agree on the price ?

Leading questions should be used carefully because they could be seen as manipulative.

4. Elevating questions

These are questions that helps you to move from stuck to unstuck. These questions allow you to step back and look at the big picture and see the connections between various issues.

5. Funnel questions

This involves starting with general questions, and then zero in on a point in each answer, and asking more and more details at each level. This allows you to get deeper into a specific point. e.g.How many people attended the sales meeting? 10

From the 10, were all the seniors present from each department ?Yes

Did they agree to the proposal ? No, not all of them.

Did all of them disagree on the same issue? Yes

Was that on the duration of the project? Yes

These are some types of key questions and their uses.

#Leaders, by asking #questions, can persuade, encourage, #manage and #coach.

Click To Tweet

 People learn by asking instead of telling. Leaders can motivate people by asking the right questions to help them get to “where they would like to be” in terms of their goal, from “where they are”.  

People participate in the world they create & a #leader can help them by asking #questions.

Click To Tweet

A LEADER

Listens and Learns from others
Energizes their team and their organization
Actions positivity
Develops themselves and others
Empowers others to lead
Recognizes and Rewards achievement

And all of this is possible not by telling or commanding but by asking the right questions. Your body language and tone of voice also plays a part in the answers you get when you ask questions.

⇒What questions are you asking yourself to be on the path of learning and development?

⇒How are you using questions to be effective?

For speaking, one-on-one coaching, workshops on communication or leadership development, let’s connect.

Top 10 Routines to Adopt and Lead By Example

By 2 Comments

Do you engage in physical activity ?

Do you go running or go to the gym or yoga on a daily basis ?

Do you plan your day and make time for the things you want to do ?

What if I told you not to take a shower on a daily basis ?

These were the questions that the lady, who was doing an orientation on Mindfulness, fired off to her audience and I was one of them.

She remarked that “If you can make time to clean up physically and look good, you also need to make time to do a mental clean up on a daily basis!”

Get into a routine and that is a matter of consciously setting time for it and for that you intentionally need to believe it as a priority. Routines, often perceived as boring and dull is a necessary part of our lives. You don’t need to think of routine as boring especially if it is something that helps you be who you are. You need to leave enough scope to be flexible and adaptable to unplanned things.

Following a routine is a matter of discipline. I’m a juvenile diabetic and have followed one routine, among other routines, diligently to date in my life. I inject insulin injections three times daily and am disciplined about my diet and health, from the age of eight.

There are many routines that each of us follow. However, no matter who you are, there are some routines which need to be adopted and maintained along the journey of life.

As a leader and as a person who wants to continuously grow and step out of your comfort zone, you need to think about adopting the following routines

1. Listen

No genuine connection happens without listening. There is not a moment in your life where you can stop listening. Listen because it engages you as a leader and as an empathetic human. Listen to understand and not necessarily listen to respond every time.

2. Reflect

To reflect is to give credit to yourself on what you did well, what you could do better or differently and what you could stop doing. Reflection can be in silence or by journaling. Reflection can be on your day, the way you were, your behaviors and what you did.

3. Hope

Be an #optimist, instill #hope and provide encouragement to all those around you or whose lives you touch.

Click To Tweet

 A realistic optimist is inspiring and it is a great trait to cultivate and have.

4. Reading

Read, learn, unlearn and discover. 

#Reading enables you to #discover, gain #knowledge and expand your thoughts and grow.

Click To Tweet

5. Influence

The skill to influence, convince and persuade people to a common cause or vision, is one that never stops being useful. It is one characteristic that each of us can continue to develop, no matter how good you are at it already.

6. Resourceful

This is one routine that is not paid particular attention to. In this dynamic world that we live in, resourcefulness helps you to step out of your comfort zone and find solutions to the challenges.

7. Exercise

Exercise helps you to be energetic, release stress and get the creative juices flowing and be mentally alert. Don’t we all want that on a daily basis?

8. Mindfulness

The importance of mindfulness cannot be underestimated. There is overwhelming research and scientific data proving the benefits of mindfulness. A routine that I am cultivating as part of my life from now, slowly but surely.

9. Empathy

Empathy allows you to be kind, to be committed to your word, to not take others’ feelings for granted, to be engaged and committed to your work and overall understand your team and those around you better.

10. Emotional Intelligence

We are emotional beings and to cultivate a routine to be aware of your emotions, understand what they are telling you and realize how your emotions affect people around you is a lifelong commitment. EI encompasses many other routines mentioned above and helps you to be empathetic, listen and connect with people.

Sticking to some routines is beneficial and not boring. The 10 routines listed are not exhaustive.  Would you like to add some? Please do so in the comments section.

⇒Which of these routines are you going to make it part of your day and yet make it interesting?
⇒What routines do you need to let go off to make space for the top 10 above ?

For training, group coaching, one-on-one coaching, speaking and workshops let’s connect

How To Have A POSITIVE ATTITUDE

By 2 Comments

The Gym TRX class starts at 11am on Sunday and two people walk in at 11:15 and their body language was such that they didn’t even look apologetic for being late. Despite being told that they are late and they can’t enter the class, they stomp in, ignoring the instructor’s request.

Eric who has just taken over as the Asia-Pacific sales head for his company, tells the new intern in his team that he has to get Eric’s breakfast sharp at 8 am daily.

If I can’t get that, you can’t get that too! This was Sylvia’s inner thought that was dictating the attitude that she was showing her friend who was looking bewildered.

It has been said that people don’t care how much we know until they know how much we care. Click To Tweet. This indicates the importance of demonstrating a respectful and caring attitude. Be it in sales or in any role, your credibility can be established by how much you know and your accomplishments but what finally allows your reputation to be built is having the right attitude. Click To Tweet

⇒How does bad attitude look and sound ? 

The Pitfalls Of Willful Blindness

By 7 Comments

I’m not a fan of watching soap operas. One day when I was changing channels to watch a program on CNBC, my attention was caught by a snap-shot of a scene in Star Plus, where a girl was asking questions to her grandma. I started watching this Indian soap opera called Veera. What got me interested in this soap opera was the girl’s never-ending quest to learn, to challenge, to explore, to question and not to take things for granted.

If you observe a child, you will notice that a child never stops to ask questions. Most questions asked by a child arise from curiosity and to determine the Why? However, as we grow older, we stop asking relevant questions. We take things for granted and are happy to accept the beliefs, the processes, the archaic methods.

When people ask me what is Coaching, I explain that a Coach facilitates listening in an adult environment by asking relevant and contextual questions. As your coach, I create an environment of evoking you to explore your maximum potential be it in tactical – sales, communication or leadership or transformational coaching.

How many times have you faced situations in your organization or in a community voluntary service, where you observe situations of conformity just to be seen in the group, despite situations which defy logic? A person who asks questions, despite being logical and rational is often seen as rocking the boat.

Take the case of Community Service. Community service is important because it gives people a sense of belonging and being helpful to others. However, many times in an NGO or in voluntary service organizations, you will observe that people have failed to ask:

  • Why have we come together?
  • What is the common purpose?
  • How can the community or those who claim to lead it engage others in what they are passionate about?
  • What are your different perspectives and interests?
  • How well do you know the group?
  • Is each one being utilized for what they feel worthy of ?

The meetings get wound up in processes and never-ending complicated procedures. The above is true within many organizations as well.

In many organizations, several policies and procedures are carried out because they have just existed. No one has dared to question them or find out if they serve the purpose. Even if someone has bothered to question them, many times they give up because it affects their career path within the organization.

An American academic study into organizational silence found that 85 percent of executives had issues or concerns at work that they had never articulated. The chief reason was fear of retribution.

More often than not, silence results not only from fear or discomfort associated with standing out like a sore thumb but also from futility. We see this within organizations among the senior management, in the political arena, in the non-profit world and in day-to-day matters of life be it child abuse, violence against women and other social matters.

What is this indifference or turning a blind eye called?

Willful Blindness is a dangerous panacea that spreads and harms not only yourself but the organization you possibly lead or the team you manage.

In her book, Margaret Heffernan argues that the biggest threats and dangers we face are the ones we don’t see – not because they’re secret or invisible, but because we’re willfully blind. She examines the phenomenon and traces its imprint in our private and working lives, and within governments and organizations, and asks: What makes us prefer ignorance? What are we so afraid of? Why do some people see more than others? And how can we change?

This Ted Video by Margaret Heffernan is worth watching.

Leaders need to ask questions, critique things, challenge the obvious, get out of their comfort zone. Renewal and success happens only when we refuse to lead our life and those whom we inspire, with apathy.

Be curious for the right reasons, curiosity is a wonderful leadership trait. It will enable you to be the change and explore new paths.

Curiosity is a desire to learn, to instigate change, to know, to care, one that you nor I can shy away from.

Reflective Questions

How are you paving the way forward to create a path of staying away from willful blindness?

As a leader what are you doing to take responsibility?

How willing are you to question and challenge the status quo?

For Coaching, Facilitating, Speaking and Workshops Connect. About Lalita Raman

image source

Power of Listening – Shut Up and Listen Will Ya

By 1 Comment

“You have to learn to listen and listen to learn” ~unknown

Following my two earlier blog posts on The Art of Listening and How to Listen –  7 Simple Tips, I decided to share some of my thoughts and experiences on a Video Blog on the Power of Listening.

What is the most demanding feeling that most of us go through at a time when we are stressed and feel like we are about to breakdown. To be Listened?  The act of not listening indicates a complete disrespect and lack of focus in what the other party is saying.  Listening is not only with the ears but also with the eyes and the heart.