Little Things That Matter

Learn From The Past, Live The Present and Have An Open Mind to Face Tomorrow

Do You Walk A Fine Line In The Choices You Make?

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I was listening to music on my way to yoga on Saturday and Paul McCartney’s following song started playing on my iPhone ….

There is a fine line, between recklessness and courage
It’s about time, you understood which road to take
It’s a fine line, your decision makes a difference
Get it wrong, you’ll be making a big mistake

It’s a fine line
Whatever’s more important to you (It’s a fine line)
You got to choose what you want to do
Whatever’s more important to be (It’s a fine line)
That’s the thing that you gotta see

The lyrics of this song kept ringing in my ears and whilst doing yoga, when the instructor mentioned, do what is possible, push yourself but not to the extent where you are not able to breathe…..,it struck me that there is such a fine line between challenging yourself and stepping out of your comfort zone and pushing yourself to an extent where you could injure yourself and find it difficult to breathe.

After class on my way back, I couldn’t help thinking…..

There is a fine line between

→ confidence and over confidence resulting in arrogance
→ frustration and giving into anger and giving up
→ being a trusted advisor and a pushy or desperate sales person
→ giving in to let go and giving up
→ fake it till you make it to gain confidence and being inauthentic

How many times do leaders walk this fine line? And in walking this fine line, do you as a leader forget to care for your employees, to keep the communication lines open, to appreciate people and not take kindness for granted.

In walking this thin line, and in order to not tip over to the not so pleasant side, what are some of the most important factors?

1. Confidence

Have the confidence to be not led by your fears, yet remind yourself to be humble. Walking the fine line between arrogance and confidence can be challenging at times, yet, if you allow yourself to be driven by your inner self and core, it is possible to make the right choice.

2. Let go

Let go of the desire to be popular and of getting brownie points at the cost of not speaking up for the right things. Indifference breeds indifference. If you take people in your team for granted and do not recognize or appreciate them you are indicating that you don’t care for them or the work they do. Your behavior and what you do or don’t, matters.

3. People Skills

Being a team leader or manager involves much more than IQ. You will be an effective manager when you communicate with your team, make them feel valued and listen to them.

Be consistent in your behavior and walk your talk. You create confusion and animosity when you communicate one thing with your words and do something else by your actions. You need to have a positive attitude and see the good and bad and be able to deal with the challenges and adversities. People will believe in you if they see you put forth your values and vision consistently and in that care for people and work together with them to take this value and vision forward.

4. Mindset and attitude

It is challenging not to cross the thin line during adversities. Yet, a leader is one who does not fall prey to the vulnerable moment and shows the tight attitude and mindset. It is not about being a superwoman or superman but asking yourself what is your purpose and what are you driven by? Negative attitude is like a vicious cycle and can have a cascading effect in bringing a relationship, a team and organization apart.

5. Indifference

Your leadership style needs to facilitate people towards their and the overall organization’s progress. Policies and procedures are essential in an organization but when you make them cumbersome and as the sole purpose in whatever you do, it becomes inhuman and a burden.

No matter what role you play, you don’t need to tip over the thin line to make a choice that is irrational and one that displays poor #EI. #leadfromwithin

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You have a #choice even when you are walking a fine line, one you would like to receive if you were at the receiving end. #peopleskills

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For Coaching, Speaking or Training let’s connect.

How To Have A POSITIVE ATTITUDE

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The Gym TRX class starts at 11am on Sunday and two people walk in at 11:15 and their body language was such that they didn’t even look apologetic for being late. Despite being told that they are late and they can’t enter the class, they stomp in, ignoring the instructor’s request.

Eric who has just taken over as the Asia-Pacific sales head for his company, tells the new intern in his team that he has to get Eric’s breakfast sharp at 8 am daily.

If I can’t get that, you can’t get that too! This was Sylvia’s inner thought that was dictating the attitude that she was showing her friend who was looking bewildered.

It has been said that people don’t care how much we know until they know how much we care. Click To Tweet. This indicates the importance of demonstrating a respectful and caring attitude. Be it in sales or in any role, your credibility can be established by how much you know and your accomplishments but what finally allows your reputation to be built is having the right attitude. Click To Tweet

⇒How does bad attitude look and sound ? 

Leadership and Bias

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Encourage Objectivity & Avoid Bias

Encourage Objectivity & Avoid Bias

“She is quiet; she has probably nothing interesting to say”

“Investment bankers are all extroverts and make a lot of money”

“Oh you are Indian; you must have grown up in a caste system.”

“She is successful and has come up the ranks on the fast path. She must have achieved this because she is a flirt and has used her influence”

“A leader is one who manages team and is part of senior management”

 →What do these statements sound like to you?←

Asian/American, Male/Female, Extroverts/introverts, rich/poor, aggressive/meek is the common single story we hear or are categorized into.

You are categorized, stereotyped and generalized and not seen for your uniqueness, for your passions, your interests. Nor do you see others.

Bias creeps in our day-to-day life, and communication. This comes from our culture, our exposure or non-exposure, and our experiences.

♣But the real question is do we get so taken in by others beliefs and by our limited experience that we fail to see the uniqueness of the person in front of us♣

♣Do we fail to see that one person or a group of people don’t represent an entire country or gender?♣

Can Bias be fixed?

“I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the waters to create many ripples.” ~Mother Teresa

There are people around you, in history, famous and not so quite famous who are changing bias and proving it by way of their actions. Some examples of people who fought bias…

Gender Bias – one of the most common biases that exists even in this day and age.

After graduation, Sudha Murthy became the first female engineer hired at India’s largest auto manufacturer TATA Engineering and Locomotive Company or TELCO. Murthy had written a postcard to the company’s Chairman complaining of the “men only” gender bias at TELCO. As a result, she was granted a special interview and hired immediately.

Disability bias – Man who lost his legs as a child scales 19,000ft-high Kilimanjaro by crawling on his HANDS for seven days.

There are many other stories of women and men who have not taken bias in their stride because they chose not to.

Eight Ways as Leaders to Overcome bias

->Ask yourself

  1. Is the issue with the person and how they behave or someone they remind you of?
  2. Does that person remind you of your fears or insecurities which triggers a bias ?
  3. Does this person behave or act in a manner that resembles that of a group that you know?
  4. Does any of the above impact you, your team or their work ?

-> Whenever you are in a moment when you think you will give in to generalizations, pause and reflect

  1. Have I been a victim of bias? What was the experience like?
  2. Would I like to be stereotyped?
  3. What if my creativity and who I am is not given recognition to?
  4. For every wrongful act done by someone from my gender or my country, or my industry would I like to be blamed?

 ->Remind yourself

  • Your mental models frame your thoughts and your thoughts in turn dictate your words. By reframing you create the environment and EI to respond to realities and communicate effectively.
  • Make a choice to step back and not allow spontaneity and your closed mind to create your bias.
  • Take responsibility to look around you, to observe the difference and to recognize that each individual is different in their own way.

As leaders, discover, become aware and deactivate your inappropriate biases. Isn’t leadership about your ability to connect, empathize, communicate and influence those around you by your words and actions ?

Reflective Questions for the Road to Identify and Introspect

As leaders, are you showing the character, the courage and the ability to do the right thing?

Are you happy to maintain your status quo and not challenge the accepted practices and stereotyping?

How are you growing and inculcating the change that you wish to see?

♦What would you like to add to this discussion?♦

Leadership Lessons From The Movie “42”

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Life offers the strangest twists and turns for some of us. Some of these challenges agonizes you, tortures you and you are left wondering what did you do wrong? Why “me”?

I’ve always considered life’s challenges as a way to learn and when I get into a negative mode, I realize that negativity pulls me down further and I need to bounce back from that thinking.

My journey to date has been inspired by my parents, some of my friends, my family, people whom I’ve read about or met, books that I’ve read and some of the movies that I’ve watched.

I saw the movie “42” recently. 42 tells the story of Jackie Robinson and, under the guidance of team executive Branch Rickey, Robinson’s signing with the Brooklyn Dodgers to become the first African-American player to break the baseball color barrier. The story focuses mostly on the 1947 Brooklyn Dodgers season and somewhat on Robinson’s 1946 season with the Montreal Royals.

Drag your thoughts away from your troubles…by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it. – Mark Twain

Jackie Robinson, despite support from Branch Rickey and later on from some of his team members, was not without troubles and hardships. His color was not his choice but he proved that the way he played the game and his attitude was his choice despite the continued abuse he got from society at large.

What appealed to me about the movie was the way he handled his troubles. He was treated unfair several times, but his attitude proved to be his greatest ally. 

Hardships and troubles are part of most people’s lives. Whether you like it or not you face challenges and a lot of leaders or people whom you have been inspired by the most, have faced many daunting moments. How well do you stand the test of Leadership When The Heat Is On?

Key Learnings From The Movie

1. Ignore – ignoring difficulties you face in life is not a solution. If you choose to run away from the situation you make it worse for yourself and the team you are leading or those whom you seek to inspire.

Jackie Robinson chose not to ignore what he was in but led himself with his passion for the game and proved to his worst abusers who he was. He consistently played his game with passion and for his team that made it hard for his abusers to continue with their sick attitude.

As a leader, make a choice to look at the reality of what has occurred and whether you feel you can accept it or not. Step back, assess the reality, and determine what can be done to move forward and not make the matter worse. By ignoring the situation, you as a leader can create animosity and hurt the morale of people around you.

Just because you choose to avoid to see it, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist or goes away. You weaken your situation as a leader.
Love what you do and put your heart and soul in it 100%.

2. Create & Keep – we are humans and yes do get affected by the way people treat us or by others attitude. However by taking an antagonistic or negative attitude you could be creating more hardship. Recognize your emotions, prop yourself up with the support of your own positive mindset or with the help of friends, if necessary.

Your inaction or the way you communicate or not could be the cause of trouble for you and your team.

Jackie Robinson faced many situations where he could have let his emotions take over. If he had done so, he would have lost concentration in his game and in being able to deliver an excellent performance. He chose not to create trouble or add to the hardship he was already in. He was not responsible for the color he was born with or on how others treated him or their behavior. He had full control over his attitude and his response to such treatment and he made a choice to focus on his game and not get carried away by his emotions. He chose not to create or keep the troubles.

As a leader what you are responsible for is your presence of mind in each moment of choice.

3. Interest – are you interested in what you do and do you have enough passion to be able to continue that path which has been one of hardship so far?

Jackie Robinson loved baseball and his love for the game was so immense that he was able to let that passion take over and surmount the troubles he faced during his early baseball career. He kept his focus on the game and his goal of being the best in his game helped him achieve success for himself and his team.

As a leader are you passionate about your purpose in life? Have you been able to garner the support and inspire others to the same vision? Is this passion so strong to be able to lead you through the struggles you face in your journey? Do you care about the results of your actions. If you do, then will your behavior and actions yield the desired results? If not, what if any, do you need to change?

4. Support – none of us can work is isolation. You need the support of a mentor, coach, boss, friends, family and people who believe in you. The environment and people around you matter and plays a vital role in shaping who you become.

Jackie Robinson had unending support from his wife, his fans, guidance of team executive Branch Rickey, and members of his team. Branch Rickey believed in him, in his game and gave him support and guidance during his baseball career.

An encouraging hand and a caring heart is what a leader needs to get and give.

Through the struggles, a leader should not undermine the importance of setting up an environment that tolerates and supports a mistake, weaknesses of each member of their team and help them grow.

Reflective Questions

1. What are you ignoring or avoiding and Why?

2. What hindrances have you created and how can you correct them?

3. What baggage are you keeping that is hindering the path of self-development and the growth of the team?

4. Are you giving your 100% in all you are and what you do?

Racism

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This is a true story. If you are against racism, please share.

I received this story on email from a friend & decided to share it on my blog. The story speaks for itself, so please read on ….

This scene took place on a British Airways flight between Johannesburg , South Africa & London .

A white woman, about 50 years old, was seated next to a black man.

Very disturbed by this, she called the air hostess. “You obviously do not see it then?” she asked. “You placed me next to a black man. I did not agree to sit next to someone from such a repugnant group. Give me an alternative seat.”

“Be calm please,” the hostess replied.

“Almost all the places on this flight are taken. I will go to see if another place is available.”

The hostess went away & then came back a few minutes later.

“Madam, just as I thought, there are no other available seats in Economy Class.

I spoke to the captain & he informed me that there is also no seat in Business Class. All the same, we still have one place in First Class.”

Before the woman could say anything, the hostess continued.

“It is not usual for our company to permit someone from Economy Class to sit in First Class. However, given the circumstances, the captain feels that it would be scandalous to make someone sit next to someone so disgusting.”

The Hostess turned to the black guy, & said, “Therefore, Sir, if you would like to, please collect your hand luggage, a seat awaits you in First Class.”

At that moment, the other passengers, who’d been shocked by what they had just witnessed, stood up & applauded.

An Act of Crime by the Centers of Education

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Schools are called the Centers of Education but here is a case where they are discriminating against a girl because she has cerebral palsy. Do they even know and understand what cerebral palsy is..

Shocking!!! that they would show this child the door!. Children like Darshana need care not disdain. Read on…..

While all her classmates are enjoying their summer holidays,Darshana Ramgiri is worried about her future.The nine-year-old has been told by St Columba High School at Nana Chowk,where she studies,to leave.
Headmistress Annette Lobo justifies the decision on the grounds that the girl has cerebral palsy and has to be physically carried up to her classroom every day.The child cant do anything on her own.Can I keep a special teacher just to look after her she said.
However,this correspondent saw Darshana walking about in her house with a slight limp.I carried a schoolbag and tiffin to my classroom on the first floor everyday, said the girl who passed third standard with 44.5 % marks.In fact,she scored 65 % in maths.A report from Sion Hospital dated April 19,2010,says Darshanas IQ is normal.
Cerebral palsy is caused by damage to the motor control centres of the developing brain and can occur during pregnancy,during childbirth or after birth up to the age of three.In Darshanas case,it has affected her gait and weakened her right hand.She writes with her left hand but is slower than normal children and her writing is bad,though not illegible.
Darshanas mother says that none of her teachers ever complained about her but the headmistress insists that she should be put in a special school meant for retarded children.Darshanas mother alleges that she was forced to write a letter saying that they were withdrawing Darshana from the school due to personal reasons for fear that the kid would be failed.Lobo denies this,calling Darshanas mother a liar.
Psychiatrist Harish Shetty,who has taken up the cause of dyslexic and differently abled children,intervened on behalf of Darshana but to no avail.Schools are known not by the academic feats of their students but by their response to those who are differently abled, he said.Incidentally,St Columba High School,established in 1832,was the first school for girls in Mumbai.Today,its three buildings set in a wooded campus cater to 1,800 students.

Educationists and mental health activists say Darshanas case is a blatant violation of child rights and a negation of the principle of inclusive education enunciated in Sarv Shiksha Abhiyan.

Sangeeta Shrivastava,principal of SVT School and T P Bhatia Jr College in Kandivli,said it was the schools responsibility to sensitise children about disability.We cannot be hypocrites and teach one thing in value education classes but practice the opposite, she said.Because of her schools initiative,the classmates of a polio-striken student are protective about him.

Among the famous people with cerebral palsy are renowned physicist Stephen Hawking,Nepali literary figure Jhamak Ghimire,Irish poet and painter Christy Brown who wrote and painted with his left foot and Stephen Hopkins,signee of USs Declaration of Independence who said,My hand trembles but not my heart.

Source: The Times of India School shows girl with cerebral palsy the door