Little Things That Matter

Learn From The Past, Live The Present and Have An Open Mind to Face Tomorrow

“Be My Valentine – 1 Billion Rising”

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As I’m writing this in the wee hours of the morning, before the crack of dawn, Valentine’s Day is slowly but surely rolling out.

The Valentine Day fever or retail mania has started off a week to 10 days back even in the non Western world. From India, Pakistan, Hong Kong, China and various nook and corners of Asia, it is almost impossible to miss the fervor of this special day.

What is Valentine’s Day ? I won’t bore you with details but for the curios mind, you can check the link.

The significance from what I have read and understood is that it marks the Feast day of Saint Valentine; the celebration of Love and affection.

In my view, love and affection can be to your mother, wife, girl friend, boy friend, spouse, friend, brother, sister, father, child or for that matter to any human being.

I’ve never been a big fan of Valentine’s Day because the true meaning has been lost over the years in the way it is commercialized and has in my view become one of the biggest money-making business. One loses their peace of mind with advance restaurant bookings, retailers wooing you with the Valentine’s Day clichés, set menus in restaurants with no choice left to you to choose what you desire to eat.

On this Valentine’s Day and going forward ask yourself 

  • Is this all that Love and Affection is about ?
  • Are you further victimizing a woman who has already been sexually assaulted by your attitude and lewd comments ?
  • Do you find power in degrading a woman mentally and physically ?
  • Are you not ostracizing woman when you make statements to the effect that woman walk in perpetual consent when they dress the way they want?
  • Are you not being an oppressor watching a rape or sexual assault silently ?
  • Are you not contributing to violence against woman when you watch TV shows and movies that show woman as a commodity ?
  • Are you not being a sexist when you engage in verbal sexual assaults or silently watch the same against a woman ?
  • Are you not bringing disdain to love and affection when you decide to abort a child when you determine the sex of the child is female ?
  • Are you not aiding and abetting with the oppressors when you don’t raise your voice against Female Genital Mutation, sexual abuse or harassment or female feticide or any other form of violence against women. 
  • For anyone who thinks women should ignore online harassment, and not react, would you do so?  Would you ignore it if you are abused, and threatened on-line ?
  • Why do you as society victimize a female and view her with a cacophony of distrust ?
  • Are you treating the woman in your life with love, affection, respect and care? 
  • Are you being human while dealing with a woman ?

Key Highlights from onebillionrising.org. Watch the Video  http://t.co/uK97Qnko.

“ONE IN THREE WOMEN ON THE PLANET WILL BE RAPED OR BEATEN IN HER LIFETIME.

ONE BILLION WOMEN VIOLATED IS AN ATROCITY

ONE BILLION WOMEN DANCING IS A REVOLUTION

On V-Day’s 15th Anniversary, 14 February 2013, we are inviting ONE BILLION women and those who love them to WALK OUT, DANCE, RISE UP, and DEMAND an end to this violence. ONE BILLION RISING will move the earth, activating women and men across every country. V-Day wants the world to see our collective strength, our numbers, our solidarity across borders.

What does ONE BILLION look like? On 14 February 2013, it will look like a REVOLUTION.

ONE BILLION RISING IS:

A global strike

An invitation to dance

A call to men and women to refuse to participate in the status quo until rape and rape culture ends

An act of solidarity, demonstrating to women the commonality of their struggles and their power in numbers

A refusal to accept violence against women and girls as a given

A new time and a new way of being.”

Change starts with you, with your family. If you change your mindsets and attitudes, and every member of your family did the same, this world will no longer have woman who are treated as a Sexual Commodity to be harassed, tortured, raped, humiliated or killed. 

Start now, start today. Speak up, spread the good word of Be A Human and a Woman is Human. Raise your voice as a human being and bring Violence Against Women to an END. 

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Steps To Help Women Facing Violence & Abuse

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As we draw close to the Violence Against Women Awareness Month (VAWAM), we have heard many heart rendering real life stories and experiences and some of the women have been able to come out of the situation and others have been able to arrive at a reconciliation with their partners after an open communication and dialiogue with their partner and his family members.  But, there are many a case both in rural and urban India where we still face dowry deaths and killing in the name of so called Honor.

We have also had Eve Teasing & Street Harassment incidents which have resulted in the death of a boy who fought against these elements of violence.

While it is imperative that we use the existing legislations and have the authorities and police play their role in safeguarding the life of a woman and give her the adequate protection, it is important that mindsets are changed among women and men re: treatment of women, treatment of a girl child, saying no to child marriage and child birth and also saying No to Dowry.

I thought I should put together some points together as to how we as a society we can help reduce the Violence Against Women, By no means is this list suppsoed to be exhaustive but I hope it serves as an overall guide. 

1. Never be a silent spectator to any incidents of abuse or violence against women. A silent spectator is as good as the oppressor. Bottomline Nip it in The Bud.

2. Assess the situation and call for help so that you and the victim’s life is not in danger, Call for help from a friend or authorities. But in the fearof protecting your life do not run away from the situation and turn abound eye.

3. Volunteer to raise awareness re: Violence Against Women. There are various organizations like Bell Bajao, Prajnya which are organizations that are involved in these Efforts already. They need help and like volunteers in promoting the cause to reduce Violence Against Women. 

4. Blogging in India is done by almost everybody.- use blogs, Tweets& Facebook pages to publish information which can help women in situations of violence.

5. Make a note of these Organizations in Various Parts of India whose help you could use to help someone faving domestic violence or any other form of violence

I. 4 Bangalore, #India, Helplines & Support for Women in India facing dowry threats & other violence. Link. 

II. #Chennai #India listing of helplines for women in need by @prajnya Link

III. In India, call 1091 for help with Domestic Violence -Women’s Helpline taking care of women & Bell_Bajao & Link  

IV. Additional resources for help

V. Complaints can be made if you see people giving or taking or asking dowry –Link

6. A Women facing domestic abuse and violence should make herself aware abou her Legal Rights – this link thanks to Bell_Bajao – Link

7. If the authorities are not taking interest in filing an FIR or prosecuting an oppressor.. start a petition and get support.  Get the help of Twitter & Facebook to get more signatories. 

8. It is just not women who can stop violence but the participation of men is essential. Men can stop violence, Men listen to men and men can help survivors. I paste here a link again thanks to Bell Bajao. Link

9. Our education curriculum needs to stress the importance of women and what behavior by men are considered violence. Several times Boys who witness violence while growing up are the most common perpetrator’of violence against women later on in life.

10. Have more number of ladies special compartments in trains and also frequent bus services in remote location which are prone to eve teasing and street harassment.

11. Seek the help of legal counsellers, NGOs and it is imperative that family & society also do not reject a woman who has been raped. 

A link to one of the NGOs in Delhi for example thanks to Bell Bajao. Link

12. Use forums like kitty parties or Book clubs, cooking classes to raise awareness re: violence against women.  

Violence Against Women can only reduce if each of us work towards stopping women being abused & disrespected. The preference of boys over girls mindset has to change in our society & this is only possible through awareness sessions, implementation of penalties for various forms of violence. 

Sexual & emotional are not even considered violence, but they are and we need to make an appeal so that these are considered violence.  Research shows physical & verbal abuse are only considered violence. Pls read Link

You, I, Us are responsible to ensure that women are treated with respect & not abused.