Little Things That Matter

Learn From The Past, Live The Present and Have An Open Mind to Face Tomorrow

Steps To Help Women Facing Violence & Abuse

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As we draw close to the Violence Against Women Awareness Month (VAWAM), we have heard many heart rendering real life stories and experiences and some of the women have been able to come out of the situation and others have been able to arrive at a reconciliation with their partners after an open communication and dialiogue with their partner and his family members.  But, there are many a case both in rural and urban India where we still face dowry deaths and killing in the name of so called Honor.

We have also had Eve Teasing & Street Harassment incidents which have resulted in the death of a boy who fought against these elements of violence.

While it is imperative that we use the existing legislations and have the authorities and police play their role in safeguarding the life of a woman and give her the adequate protection, it is important that mindsets are changed among women and men re: treatment of women, treatment of a girl child, saying no to child marriage and child birth and also saying No to Dowry.

I thought I should put together some points together as to how we as a society we can help reduce the Violence Against Women, By no means is this list suppsoed to be exhaustive but I hope it serves as an overall guide. 

1. Never be a silent spectator to any incidents of abuse or violence against women. A silent spectator is as good as the oppressor. Bottomline Nip it in The Bud.

2. Assess the situation and call for help so that you and the victim’s life is not in danger, Call for help from a friend or authorities. But in the fearof protecting your life do not run away from the situation and turn abound eye.

3. Volunteer to raise awareness re: Violence Against Women. There are various organizations like Bell Bajao, Prajnya which are organizations that are involved in these Efforts already. They need help and like volunteers in promoting the cause to reduce Violence Against Women. 

4. Blogging in India is done by almost everybody.- use blogs, Tweets& Facebook pages to publish information which can help women in situations of violence.

5. Make a note of these Organizations in Various Parts of India whose help you could use to help someone faving domestic violence or any other form of violence

I. 4 Bangalore, #India, Helplines & Support for Women in India facing dowry threats & other violence. Link. 

II. #Chennai #India listing of helplines for women in need by @prajnya Link

III. In India, call 1091 for help with Domestic Violence -Women’s Helpline taking care of women & Bell_Bajao & Link  

IV. Additional resources for help

V. Complaints can be made if you see people giving or taking or asking dowry –Link

6. A Women facing domestic abuse and violence should make herself aware abou her Legal Rights – this link thanks to Bell_Bajao – Link

7. If the authorities are not taking interest in filing an FIR or prosecuting an oppressor.. start a petition and get support.  Get the help of Twitter & Facebook to get more signatories. 

8. It is just not women who can stop violence but the participation of men is essential. Men can stop violence, Men listen to men and men can help survivors. I paste here a link again thanks to Bell Bajao. Link

9. Our education curriculum needs to stress the importance of women and what behavior by men are considered violence. Several times Boys who witness violence while growing up are the most common perpetrator’of violence against women later on in life.

10. Have more number of ladies special compartments in trains and also frequent bus services in remote location which are prone to eve teasing and street harassment.

11. Seek the help of legal counsellers, NGOs and it is imperative that family & society also do not reject a woman who has been raped. 

A link to one of the NGOs in Delhi for example thanks to Bell Bajao. Link

12. Use forums like kitty parties or Book clubs, cooking classes to raise awareness re: violence against women.  

Violence Against Women can only reduce if each of us work towards stopping women being abused & disrespected. The preference of boys over girls mindset has to change in our society & this is only possible through awareness sessions, implementation of penalties for various forms of violence. 

Sexual & emotional are not even considered violence, but they are and we need to make an appeal so that these are considered violence.  Research shows physical & verbal abuse are only considered violence. Pls read Link

You, I, Us are responsible to ensure that women are treated with respect & not abused. 

Elephants, A lot to learn from

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Elephant is an animal I have so adored as a child and I have been lucky to have touched them , fondled  and fed them. I have also taken a ride on an elephant, whilst I was in Thailand,which I did not enjoy, because I felt bad for the elephant, and decided to get off the elephant after a span of 2 minutes.

I have admired elephants for they are so gentle inspite of their power. They are so wise, loving & caring. Their eyes are full of compassion and love. They protect their herd so well that men can learn many a thing about life from these darling animals. They are so cute inspite of being so large.

This article in THE HINDU which talks about how elephant calves are treated as children touched my heart. One every so often hears about animals being harmed and poached. It is heart warming to hear and read about people who take care of these elephants, as if it were their own children. God Bless them.

Some Facts About Elephants

The elephant is the largest animal that lives on land. Some male elephants can grow to be thirteen feet tall. That’s more than twice as tall as many human adults.Elephants can weigh as much as a school bus—between ten and fourteen thousand pounds! Elephants smell, drink, eat, and wash themselves with their long trunks. They have tusks—long teeth made of ivory—that help them get food and carry heavy objects. The most obvious characteristic of elephants, besides their massive size, is their trunk.  The trunk is nothing more than an elongation of their nose and upper lip.   Besides being used for breathing and smelling it is also used as an appendage, much like an arm or hand.  Elephants are capable of pulling up to 11.5 liters (3 gallons) of water into the trunk to be sprayed into the mouth for drinking or onto the back for bathing. For more information go to Elephants & Elephants1

Some of my Up, Close & Personal Moments with Elephants in Thailand.

Never Underestimate the Memory of an Elephant

A. This Article from BBC News is worth a read re: Why Elephants don’t forget.

B. Watch this clip from BBC Wildlife documentary re: Elephants never forgets.

What’s in a Name

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“What’s in a name? That which we call a rose. By any other name would smell as sweet.” W. Shakespeare.

Surely Shakespeare did not realize the confusion & hassle a name change would create among human beings! Why does a Woman have to change her surname after marriage when a marriage involves a man & a woman?
In some communities in India, the woman is required to change her first name as well after her marriage. Shocking!!

I find it strange that many women have no issues with a name change & the most common reason I have heard is that they don’t want to confuse the identity of their child/ren.

Is the surname the sole form of identity. Why can we not have birth certificate with the mother’s & father’s name. A child should be known by her or his name & not by the surname.

A School, which is a learning center, still follows this antiquated method of insisting on a surname. We are in the 21st century & why can we not think outside the box & do away with the unnecessary?

Does the surname really show a form of respect. Surely a woman can be addressed as Ms or Madam, in front of her first name, if one wants to address her with respect.

The following article from the Hindu eloquently brings out some issues with changes on surname, & use of middle name. Definitely worth a read.

http://beta.thehindu.com/opinion/open-page/article387414.ece