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Twelve Ways to Inspire Yourself When You Are Feeling Down & Out

10 March 2012 By Lalita Raman 1 Comment

“None but ourselves can free our minds.” ― Bob Marley

In our life today we face an enduring issue of one too many negative things and few positives. Right from newspapers, TV and other forms of media be it political, economic, or social there is a lot of negative incidents, news, events, mishaps. On top of this if you are having an out of sorts day, it is difficult to keep the positive momentum because we could be so imprisoned by our state of mind, that we forget to step back and look at things with a fresh perspective.

There is a confusion of values among the youth which is aggravated by the wrong portrayal of fame and success that mass media and social media often tend to reflect. There seems to be an  increasing number of people who are beginning to feel negative in their outlook.

I met a woman entrepreneur the other day who seemed dejected and felt that she was being attacked by stress and negative emotions.  When she told me her story, the positive takeaways for me were that she had determination, passion and love for what she did and had managed to grow her revenues by 20% and most important she had touched the hearts of many a tourist and child through her works of art.

This woman runs her own business of arts and crafts and supplies to museums, souvenir shops, gift shops and several private establishments. Today she is at a stage where she wants to expand and grow and is making efforts to achieve that. But she is overwhelmed by her negative thoughts, apprehensions and feels her life is out of control.

She is however not alone.   In reality, she may just be a cynic and not a negative personality. But the forlornness of the big cities, where youngsters follow their dreams and passion becomes the breeding ground for negativism and depression to flourish.

Statements like I’m no good at writing, or I am a born loser or I can never get any job done on time are self-fulfilling and ultimately strangle the personality they feed on.

We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think.  The amygdala is most commonly associated with our emotions of fear and anxiety.  Negative thoughts trigger  electro-chemicals in our brains which in turn triggers our decisions and behavior. The more we keep getting such negative thoughts, the more our brain keeps getting hardwired to being receptive to such thoughts.

It is important to recognize these negative emotions but not allow them to control us. Here are 12 simple ways to break away from the Negative Emotional attractor

1. Reframe the Negative statements that you keep telling yourself. For e.g. Instead of saying I’m no good at writing, may be change your thought or statement to “I need to hone my writing skills and I’m working on it.”  I find positive self talk to be a great motivator.

2. Express gratitude. Make a conscious effort to do a kind deed.

3. Encourage someone. Make them realize that they matter and what they do matters.

4. Exercise – I find that exercise triggers the endorphins and releases the stress and flushes out the negative thoughts.

5. Focus on things within your control and things you are good at.  Feel good at doing those things first and then move on to new challenges.

6. Learn something new for which you have a passion for.

7. Talk to your dog, if you own a dog.. I find  dogs and puppies to be great stress busters. I feel a sense of joy, the moment I look at a cute dog picture or video.

8. Talking to a close friend or a family member or a Samaritan helps.  It’s imperative to have circle of positive friends who will inspire you.  “Tell me who your friends are and I will tell you what you are … As goes the American saying.

9. Keep milestones and measure your progress against them. Checking off against an achieved milestone can be one of the most rewarding acts to keep moving forward.

10. Read a book or some inspiring quotes. These days there are several Self Motivation posts on various blogs which definitely would be a Positive Emotional Attractor.

11. Chin up – good posture and a smile always helps.

12. Listen to music. Music is to the Soul what words are to the mind.  ” I think music in itself is healing. It’s an explosive expression of humanity. It’s something we are all touched by. No matter what culture we’re from, everyone loves music.” Billy Joel

Life is one big road with lots of signs. So when you riding through the ruts, don’t complicate your mind. Flee from hate, mischief and jealousy. Don’t bury your thoughts, put your vision to reality. Wake Up and Live! Bob Marley

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Filed Under: Habits, Leadership & Personal Development, Life Tagged With: amygdala, art, Child, dog, emotions, exercise, inspire, Love, music, negative, passion, positive, posture, Woman

Leadership & Women

30 April 2010 By Lalita Raman Leave a Comment

We Often hear that Women shy away from the limelight and many a time it is because of their cultural background.  I read in a Tweet today that the thought of stepping into a leadership role often intimidates women. Is Leadership only about Showing Up, Speaking Up and Stepping  Up??

Here is a Woman, Elham Al Qasimi, who has shown not only mental & physical courage but also set out to achieve what she had set her mind on.   Qasimi, a former investment banker who was born in Dubai but lived in the Unites States until she was 12, is believed to be the first Arab woman to set foot on the North Pole.

As Qasimi says “Women in the Middle East are half the population, They’re half the human capital, and they’re half that hasn’t been invested in properly.”

Qualities that makes Qasimi a leader, notwithstanding her expedition raising money for PEAS (Promoting Equality in African Schools) and the Palestinian Children’s Relief Fund, are

*Clear Cut Vision of the future.

*Will to prepare and a methodical plan to achieve her vision

*Commitment in-spite of the odds & challenges she faced along the way.

*Empowering herself to do what she had set out to achieve. Translating words to action.

*She strived to achieve something that was greater than herself and for the greater good.

For the full article read CNN.COM

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Filed Under: Woman Tagged With: Arab Woman, Commitment, Elham Al Qasimi, Leadership, North Pole, Vision, Woman

What’s in a Name

8 April 2010 By Lalita Raman Leave a Comment

“What’s in a name? That which we call a rose. By any other name would smell as sweet.” W. Shakespeare.

Surely Shakespeare did not realize the confusion & hassle a name change would create among human beings! Why does a Woman have to change her surname after marriage when a marriage involves a man & a woman?
In some communities in India, the woman is required to change her first name as well after her marriage. Shocking!!

I find it strange that many women have no issues with a name change & the most common reason I have heard is that they don’t want to confuse the identity of their child/ren.

Is the surname the sole form of identity. Why can we not have birth certificate with the mother’s & father’s name. A child should be known by her or his name & not by the surname.

A School, which is a learning center, still follows this antiquated method of insisting on a surname. We are in the 21st century & why can we not think outside the box & do away with the unnecessary?

Does the surname really show a form of respect. Surely a woman can be addressed as Ms or Madam, in front of her first name, if one wants to address her with respect.

The following article from the Hindu eloquently brings out some issues with changes on surname, & use of middle name. Definitely worth a read.

http://beta.thehindu.com/opinion/open-page/article387414.ece

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Filed Under: Habits Tagged With: Marriage, Men, Name, The Hindu, Woman

Gendercide.. I am a Girl -Will You Let me Live?

6 April 2010 By Lalita Raman 2 Comments

I am a Girl..Will you Let me Live?
You Tube
Video

Female Foeticide or Gendercide is a topic that has been discussed often but real changes can happen only when attitudes change especially in countries like India and China where Gendercide is rampant.  Attitudes can only change when awareness is created and an infrastructure is created that facilitates & encourages gender equality. Even in this day and age this crime happens and my heart bleeds every time I read it.
Interesting articles on this topic worth a read
a. Saving India’s Women from Mint– which talks about the Analyses of social factors, which determine the impact of central programmes, can shape policies to save women’s lives.
b. The worldwide war on baby girls from The Economist _mainly focuses on Gender Imbalance in China & India and the atrocities committed on a girl.
c. Gendercide – from The Economist which talks about  100mn odd girls who have disappeared since they are killed, aborted & neglected.

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Filed Under: Woman Tagged With: Gendercide, Woman

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