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5 Key Benefits From Story Telling

1 June 2016 By Lalita Raman Leave a Comment

Jack started off by telling us that the bank that he was working with, had just announced a reorganization and that the division he had been working in, was going to be sold to another bank. He started preparing his CV, met few headhunters and specifically stated how one headhunter, Gina, was a bit different, in the way she asked questions and discovered more about him, his skills, and his background.

She put him up for an interview with a company, although she felt that he was probably not an exact fit. He goes on to describe the various stages of the interview, the ups and downs, the excitement and the apprehension.  Jack then interviews with the Managing Director, and he describes how he articulated to the Managing Director, that he was the right fit for that job. He lets the audience feel every moment of this interview, describing the room, the behaviors of this MD, his own feelings, and he continues to build it up, the audience waiting with abated breadth and thereafter he ends the story on a climax, bringing it all together. His story made us think, care, feel, and emotionally connect with his experience. He took us through the high and low, the action, an element of suspense and overall kept us riveted and engaged throughout.

Telling Stories is an art, a craft, and a skill that can be developed. #communication #leadership

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We are emotional beings and emotion is the critical element that makes information relevant and memorable. Storytelling is an art, science and craftsmanship and it relies on our real life experiences and creative thought processes. Through stories we inform, engage, entertain, convince, add depth to ours and others lives and give meaning to our relationships. A well told story provides the relevant context in our work.

A leader should be and want to be a good story teller. Here is why

1.To Communicate

A #leader needs to engage and understand their audience to make the #communication effective.

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We are bombarded on a day-to-day basis with never ending flow of information and numbers. Never ending stream of data may be useful but can get boring. Communication happens if it reaches the ears of the listener in the way it was intended. An interesting and well told story is able to capture the attention of the audience, convey the message which reams of data may not be able to. One of the qualities of a great communicator is credibility and connecting with the audience. No one else will be able to tell your story as well as you do because you have experienced it and thus earned the right.

2.To Empower

#Leaders are respected when they #empower others to their full potential. #leadership

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Story telling not only empowers the story teller but also the audience. By telling a story, the story teller reminds himself or herself of how strong they are and the lessons learnt. The audience listening to the story is empowered to act in the desired manner based on the lesson learnt from others stories.

3.To Inspire

One of the qualities of a #leader is to inspire and to lead by example. #leadership #leadbyexample

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There are many movies based on true stories, and be it in a movie like Race, which is based on the incredible true story of courage, determination, tolerance, and friendship, and an inspiring drama about Jesse Owens fight to become an Olympic legend or Catch me if you can, which is based on a major con artist, Frank Abagnale Jr. who was successful at stealing millions of dollars, acting as a Pan Am pilot, a doctor and a legal prosecutor – all before his 19th birthday. Each of these have a story from which you can be inspired by the grit, determination, the courage, the EQ or IQ of the person whose life, these stories are based on.

4.To Educate

Leaders often need to educate people on policies, procedures and on the way to do things. All of this is necessary and yet you may feel it is mundane and boring. What better way to educate than by way of stories.
Stories not only inspires us but educates us, in that, we can learn lessons based on the theme of the story. Stories enables us to remember and apply the lesson, learnt from others’ lives. “Think before you speak” or “Learn from your mistakes” is great advise to receive and yet one that we hear so often that sometimes we may tend to ignore this advise. When you hear stories from people of the consequences of thinking before speaking, and the lesson learnt, we can remember it because it lands on us well and it educates us.

5.To Reinforce Positive Behaviors

#Leaders need to reinforce positive behaviors by who they are and stories are a great way to do so.

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Jack through his story conveyed his confidence, positive attitude and presence of mind to create a positive impression on the managing director of the company with whom he was interviewing. By his narrative, he was able to reinforce to the audience, the positive behaviors of wit, EQ, adaptability and being present.

Story telling is only effective when it is legitimate, when you relive that moment so that you take the audience to that moment and you connect with the story and the audience emotionally.

Tell a story well and you create an impact as a human being and as a #leader. #leadership

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Stories are great when they are authentic, genuine and based on real events in your life and you need to tell your stories in a way that you evoke the necessary response in your audience and it inspires them.

How are you communicating, inspiring, educating and engaging your audience?

What stories are your telling?

Please feel free to share your thoughts on the Power Of Storytelling.

The narratives that you tell yourself affects and impacts who you are, it drives your self-confidence and it can   be damaging too. Please feel free to connect with me for one-on-one coaching, team coaching, facilitation or as a key note speaker.

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Filed Under: Attitude, Brand You, Character, Coaching, Communication, Culture, Customer Service and Sales, Employee Engagement, Integrity, Lead By Example, Lead From Within, Leadership & Personal Development, Life Tagged With: benefits, coaching, Communication, inspire, lead by example, lead from within, Leader, Leadership, stories

What is Human About Empathy In Your Communication ?

14 July 2015 By Lalita Raman 2 Comments

Without a doubt, you’ll agree that we need to be empathetic in the way we communicate.

Have you ever been frustrated and at your wit’s end by the way a person communicates with you?

I have wasted 45 minutes of my time on the phone with your customer service and now I call again and after selecting the right options, I am transferred to the switch board. “Sorry madam, since you asked for a specific person’s name, you got transferred to the switch board.” I asked for John because that is whom I was in conversation with before which he either disconnected the phone or the line was cut off. I don’t wish to repeat my story to another customer service after having spent 45 minutes on the phone with John, before that an entire week going back and forth on emails with your company and yet, the matter has not been resolved. So, can you please transfer me to John.

“Madam I understand, do you have John’s full name.” No I don’t. My name is Lalita Raman and my case no is xxxxx, if that helps.

This was my conversation with one of the international and renowned newspapers with whom I was trying to renew my on-line subscription.

The switch board operator heard me out patiently and mentioned he will try to find the person who had serviced me. After putting me on hold for 5-7 minutes, he said there is no one by the name of John but the person I had spoken to was Jomar and he was busy on the other line. I continued to express my frustration. Wilson, the switch board operator patiently listened to me and he said he could take my number down and said he will assure that Jomar gives me a call back within 20 minutes. At this point in time my irritation levels were super high. He then asked if he could have Jomar’s supervisor to speak with me since she was available and that she had been briefed on my query and the frustration over the level of service.

That response immediately calmed me down and I felt, wow, here is a person who has gone beyond his call of duty and not only understood my frustration but had made an effort to find out the person who serviced me, his supervisor’s name and had made sure that the supervisor was up to date on the issue that I was facing. That sense of understanding on his part brought my Amygdala under control. I thanked him.

I then spoke to the supervisor and she immediately said “Madam I apologize for your experience and I don’t want our company to lose you as a customer. My system is very slow so though you have already spent an immense amount of time on the phone and email with us, you’ll have to bear with me before I can get your details on the computer screen. What I can assure you is that I can give you a discount, the amount I can confirm once the system is up, and I will enquire into why your email was not responded to despite follow ups from your end. Madam, I would not like to be treated the way you were treated. Any time you need help, I am the supervisor on shift at night-time and I will be here. So please feel free to call or email me.”

I instantly connected with her because of the genuine interest she showed in me and my issue and her sincerity in helping me out.

I chatted with her for some time asking her why she always worked night shifts and how long she has been in her current role, etc.

Once her system was up she was able to confirm the amount, answer my query and she kept up her word of sending an email to me confirming the renewal amount, and that she will call me on July 30.

Why did I connect with her?

She cared for me and that was evident by the way she started her conversation with me and her honesty. She did not give the usual company one line clichés or slogans of “we are sorry for the inconvenience caused and we apologize. How can I help you?”

She understood what her company had put me through, my frustration and she took control of the situation by listening to understand and provide a solution that mattered to me. That was Human.

She not only listened with her ears but She showed EMPATHY. Deep listening is not only about hearing with our ears but connecting at a deeper level.

Why is Empathy Important – 7 Reasons

1. Emotion

We are emotional beings and no matter whom you are conversing with, be it your customer or colleague or boss or friend or a person assisting you at the supermarket check-out, remember that they are human.

Each of us have ups and downs in our day and understanding each other in that moment goes a long way in making an emotional connection. Both Wilson and the lady supervisor on shift connected with me because they understood what I was going through.

2. Mirror

Neuroscientist Giacomo Rizzolatti, MD, who with his colleagues at the University of Parma first identified mirror neurons, says that the neurons could help explain how and why we “read” other people’s minds and feel empathy for them. Mirror neurons are one key to understanding how human beings survive and thrive in a complex social world, says neuroscientist Vittorio Gallese, MD, PhD, one of Rizzolatti’s colleagues at the University of Parma. “It seems we’re wired to see other people as similar to us, rather than different,” Gallese says. “At the root, as humans we identify the person we’re facing as someone like ourselves.”

The supervisor felt and understood my pain and that was evident in the way she framed her conversation with me, which was full of sincerity. She proved she was committed by letting me know that she was sorry, she has a solution and that unfortunately I may have to wait a little longer because her system was slow. She did not offer any defense for the non-responsiveness from her colleagues, instead acknowledged, that the non-responsiveness was not something that should have happened.

3.Patience

I clearly had run out of patience and both Wilson and the lady supervisor were patient in listening to me and understanding what the issue was, to be able to resolve it. They sensed my agony and not only acknowledged that they understood it but articulated it in the action they took.

4. Aware

Listening is part of Communication. While listening you need to be aware of the emotions the other person is experiencing so that you can understand what they are going through and do whatever is necessary to help that person out. Wilson understood that I had wasted an immense amount of time and he made sure that the person to whom he was going to transfer the call already knew my agony so that I don’t have to repeat myself. That showed he was aware and he cared.

5. Tactful

In showing empathy, you need to be tactful in the way you communicate not only in your words but also in your tone and body language. The supervisor tactfully chose her words, her tone and an action which gave me an assurance that she was genuine and sincere.

6. Honest

Many customer services personnel are apologetic but their apology is a not well-meant or genuine. Both Wilson and the supervisor were honest about the reality, they accepted the reality and at the same time acted in my best interests and resolved my problem.

7.Yearn

Desire or wanting to help can only be proved by action and in this case both were true to their commitment. They wanted to help and they did help.

We live in the world of #communications and to truly #listen you need to understand and #empathize.

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. Using clichés, stereotype slogans and cheap humor is not the way to empathize.

Seek to #listen and #understand so that you connect with a person. #peopleskills

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With Empathy,

you are able to treat others the way they would want to be treated,

you’ll be able to better deal with negativity by understanding the fears and motivators of others and

you’ll be able to inspire, influence and persuade others.

For workshops, one-on-one coaching, facilitation, speaking, please connect. 

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Filed Under: Attitude, Character, Communication, Emotions, Habits, Idiosyncracies, Lead By Example, Lead From Within, Leadership & Personal Development, Life, self-awareness Tagged With: Communication, Emotion, Empathy, honesty, Influence, inspire, Leadership, leadfromwithin, listen, patient, persuade

Twelve Ways to Inspire Yourself When You Are Feeling Down & Out

10 March 2012 By Lalita Raman 1 Comment

“None but ourselves can free our minds.” ― Bob Marley

In our life today we face an enduring issue of one too many negative things and few positives. Right from newspapers, TV and other forms of media be it political, economic, or social there is a lot of negative incidents, news, events, mishaps. On top of this if you are having an out of sorts day, it is difficult to keep the positive momentum because we could be so imprisoned by our state of mind, that we forget to step back and look at things with a fresh perspective.

There is a confusion of values among the youth which is aggravated by the wrong portrayal of fame and success that mass media and social media often tend to reflect. There seems to be an  increasing number of people who are beginning to feel negative in their outlook.

I met a woman entrepreneur the other day who seemed dejected and felt that she was being attacked by stress and negative emotions.  When she told me her story, the positive takeaways for me were that she had determination, passion and love for what she did and had managed to grow her revenues by 20% and most important she had touched the hearts of many a tourist and child through her works of art.

This woman runs her own business of arts and crafts and supplies to museums, souvenir shops, gift shops and several private establishments. Today she is at a stage where she wants to expand and grow and is making efforts to achieve that. But she is overwhelmed by her negative thoughts, apprehensions and feels her life is out of control.

She is however not alone.   In reality, she may just be a cynic and not a negative personality. But the forlornness of the big cities, where youngsters follow their dreams and passion becomes the breeding ground for negativism and depression to flourish.

Statements like I’m no good at writing, or I am a born loser or I can never get any job done on time are self-fulfilling and ultimately strangle the personality they feed on.

We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think.  The amygdala is most commonly associated with our emotions of fear and anxiety.  Negative thoughts trigger  electro-chemicals in our brains which in turn triggers our decisions and behavior. The more we keep getting such negative thoughts, the more our brain keeps getting hardwired to being receptive to such thoughts.

It is important to recognize these negative emotions but not allow them to control us. Here are 12 simple ways to break away from the Negative Emotional attractor

1. Reframe the Negative statements that you keep telling yourself. For e.g. Instead of saying I’m no good at writing, may be change your thought or statement to “I need to hone my writing skills and I’m working on it.”  I find positive self talk to be a great motivator.

2. Express gratitude. Make a conscious effort to do a kind deed.

3. Encourage someone. Make them realize that they matter and what they do matters.

4. Exercise – I find that exercise triggers the endorphins and releases the stress and flushes out the negative thoughts.

5. Focus on things within your control and things you are good at.  Feel good at doing those things first and then move on to new challenges.

6. Learn something new for which you have a passion for.

7. Talk to your dog, if you own a dog.. I find  dogs and puppies to be great stress busters. I feel a sense of joy, the moment I look at a cute dog picture or video.

8. Talking to a close friend or a family member or a Samaritan helps.  It’s imperative to have circle of positive friends who will inspire you.  “Tell me who your friends are and I will tell you what you are … As goes the American saying.

9. Keep milestones and measure your progress against them. Checking off against an achieved milestone can be one of the most rewarding acts to keep moving forward.

10. Read a book or some inspiring quotes. These days there are several Self Motivation posts on various blogs which definitely would be a Positive Emotional Attractor.

11. Chin up – good posture and a smile always helps.

12. Listen to music. Music is to the Soul what words are to the mind.  ” I think music in itself is healing. It’s an explosive expression of humanity. It’s something we are all touched by. No matter what culture we’re from, everyone loves music.” Billy Joel

Life is one big road with lots of signs. So when you riding through the ruts, don’t complicate your mind. Flee from hate, mischief and jealousy. Don’t bury your thoughts, put your vision to reality. Wake Up and Live! Bob Marley

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Filed Under: Habits, Leadership & Personal Development, Life Tagged With: amygdala, art, Child, dog, emotions, exercise, inspire, Love, music, negative, passion, positive, posture, Woman

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