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5 Key Benefits From Story Telling

1 June 2016 By Lalita Raman Leave a Comment

Jack started off by telling us that the bank that he was working with, had just announced a reorganization and that the division he had been working in, was going to be sold to another bank. He started preparing his CV, met few headhunters and specifically stated how one headhunter, Gina, was a bit different, in the way she asked questions and discovered more about him, his skills, and his background.

She put him up for an interview with a company, although she felt that he was probably not an exact fit. He goes on to describe the various stages of the interview, the ups and downs, the excitement and the apprehension.  Jack then interviews with the Managing Director, and he describes how he articulated to the Managing Director, that he was the right fit for that job. He lets the audience feel every moment of this interview, describing the room, the behaviors of this MD, his own feelings, and he continues to build it up, the audience waiting with abated breadth and thereafter he ends the story on a climax, bringing it all together. His story made us think, care, feel, and emotionally connect with his experience. He took us through the high and low, the action, an element of suspense and overall kept us riveted and engaged throughout.

Telling Stories is an art, a craft, and a skill that can be developed. #communication #leadership

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We are emotional beings and emotion is the critical element that makes information relevant and memorable. Storytelling is an art, science and craftsmanship and it relies on our real life experiences and creative thought processes. Through stories we inform, engage, entertain, convince, add depth to ours and others lives and give meaning to our relationships. A well told story provides the relevant context in our work.

A leader should be and want to be a good story teller. Here is why

1.To Communicate

A #leader needs to engage and understand their audience to make the #communication effective.

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We are bombarded on a day-to-day basis with never ending flow of information and numbers. Never ending stream of data may be useful but can get boring. Communication happens if it reaches the ears of the listener in the way it was intended. An interesting and well told story is able to capture the attention of the audience, convey the message which reams of data may not be able to. One of the qualities of a great communicator is credibility and connecting with the audience. No one else will be able to tell your story as well as you do because you have experienced it and thus earned the right.

2.To Empower

#Leaders are respected when they #empower others to their full potential. #leadership

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Story telling not only empowers the story teller but also the audience. By telling a story, the story teller reminds himself or herself of how strong they are and the lessons learnt. The audience listening to the story is empowered to act in the desired manner based on the lesson learnt from others stories.

3.To Inspire

One of the qualities of a #leader is to inspire and to lead by example. #leadership #leadbyexample

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There are many movies based on true stories, and be it in a movie like Race, which is based on the incredible true story of courage, determination, tolerance, and friendship, and an inspiring drama about Jesse Owens fight to become an Olympic legend or Catch me if you can, which is based on a major con artist, Frank Abagnale Jr. who was successful at stealing millions of dollars, acting as a Pan Am pilot, a doctor and a legal prosecutor – all before his 19th birthday. Each of these have a story from which you can be inspired by the grit, determination, the courage, the EQ or IQ of the person whose life, these stories are based on.

4.To Educate

Leaders often need to educate people on policies, procedures and on the way to do things. All of this is necessary and yet you may feel it is mundane and boring. What better way to educate than by way of stories.
Stories not only inspires us but educates us, in that, we can learn lessons based on the theme of the story. Stories enables us to remember and apply the lesson, learnt from others’ lives. “Think before you speak” or “Learn from your mistakes” is great advise to receive and yet one that we hear so often that sometimes we may tend to ignore this advise. When you hear stories from people of the consequences of thinking before speaking, and the lesson learnt, we can remember it because it lands on us well and it educates us.

5.To Reinforce Positive Behaviors

#Leaders need to reinforce positive behaviors by who they are and stories are a great way to do so.

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Jack through his story conveyed his confidence, positive attitude and presence of mind to create a positive impression on the managing director of the company with whom he was interviewing. By his narrative, he was able to reinforce to the audience, the positive behaviors of wit, EQ, adaptability and being present.

Story telling is only effective when it is legitimate, when you relive that moment so that you take the audience to that moment and you connect with the story and the audience emotionally.

Tell a story well and you create an impact as a human being and as a #leader. #leadership

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Stories are great when they are authentic, genuine and based on real events in your life and you need to tell your stories in a way that you evoke the necessary response in your audience and it inspires them.

How are you communicating, inspiring, educating and engaging your audience?

What stories are your telling?

Please feel free to share your thoughts on the Power Of Storytelling.

The narratives that you tell yourself affects and impacts who you are, it drives your self-confidence and it can   be damaging too. Please feel free to connect with me for one-on-one coaching, team coaching, facilitation or as a key note speaker.

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Filed Under: Attitude, Brand You, Character, Coaching, Communication, Culture, Customer Service and Sales, Employee Engagement, Integrity, Lead By Example, Lead From Within, Leadership & Personal Development, Life Tagged With: benefits, coaching, Communication, inspire, lead by example, lead from within, Leader, Leadership, stories

5 Secrets To Good Conversations

4 May 2016 By Lalita Raman Leave a Comment

Three weeks back, I was facilitating a training, where we had just completed a module on capturing attention of the audience by way of brief and captivating personal stories. In the debrief, a challenge that was expressed by some participants was that they are no good at thinking of and telling stories. I did not want to disagree with them or persuade them otherwise. Instead, I got the group together in a circle and I said I’ll start by saying one or two words and we continue clock wise with each participant adding one of two words that link and make sense, till we build a meaningful story. Initially, some participants took a little longer than others. In the second round it got more interesting and quicker and we built a fun and captivating story at the end of 5 minutes. Five minutes is all it took to build a story and a conversation. The conversation flowed, creativity was at its best and the participants who were skeptical of their story telling skills at the outset, realized that they were unnecessarily giving in to their inner fears. There were smiles, positivity and a rise in energy at the end of this activity.

A month ago, I got an email through my website. I normally do not click open these random emails. This time, I clicked open only because the name of this person was the same as that of one of my school friends. When I opened this email, lo and behold, it was her. After 25+ years she had found me. We connected and chatted for almost an hour. It seemed we hadn’t lost contact. There were no inhibitions, no judgment and a conversation that just flowed.

How many times have been in conversations that felt like the two above?

How many times have we felt inspired by the conversation where the words and ideas are flowing like a painter painting with inspiration on his canvas.

What is the secret to such Good Conversations ?

1.Be Genuinely Interested In The Other Person

How have you felt when someone talks endlessly about themselves, their achievements, whom they know ?Boring.. and maybe you want to run away.

One of Dale Carnegie’s principles of Building Rapport with others is to “

“Become genuinely interested in other people”. #leadership #influence #communication

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In his book “How To Win Friends and Influence People“, one of the examples he gives is when he met a distinguished botanist at a dinner party and the conversation that flowed thereafter. Dale Carnegie had never met a botanist before and found meeting the botanist fascinating. He, during the entire conversation with the botanist listened to the botanist. On his way out, the botanist was singing praises about Dale Carnegie to the host of the dinner party and called him a good conversationalist.

Dale Carnegie had listened and listened intently and he did so because he was genuinely interested.

Best conversations begin by showing genuine interest in other people, their world and what interests them.

2.Listening To Connect

Most of today’s conversations miss the mark because people are so involved in their smart phone that they don’t listen to understand. They do not even hear, forget about listening.

Even when listening happens, people are listening to react and respond.

If we don’t feel good when we are not listened to, why would we want to not listen to someone else?  Listen, Listen, Listen and there is no short cut to this .

Through #listening we #influence and we #connect. #leadership #communication #peopleskills

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Throw yourself a challenge and listen actively to at least 5 conversations that you have per day, for the next 15 days. What did you experience? Feel free to share the experience.

3.Ask Questions To Engage

Asking good #questions is about showing genuine interest. #communication #leadership #influence

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. Ask open ended questions and listen to the answers to engage in a good conversation. Probing and deep dive questions should be avoided if you are meeting the person for the first time or haven’t yet built a rapport. In fact, if you are genuinely interested in the person and the conversation, it is not difficult to ask relevant questions.

Questions are a great way to have a great conversation and be engaging, as long as they are relevant and appropriate.

4.Add Value

In any conversation, especially business conversations, always look for opportunities to add value.

Appeal to people’s nobler motives. #conversation #communication #transitions #leadership

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Asking questions, listening and observing are some ways to add value to the conversation. Where possible lend a helping hand.

5.Meaningful Connection

Reach out to people in meaningful ways and have an open mind about building rapport when you meet somebody for the first time. Good conversations are those where a meaningful connection is made irrespective of when and with whom you connect. Be aware about time and the space where you have these conversations. Time pressure and lack of distraction free space may mar conversations, even before it starts.

What are some of the characteristics of a conversation you would call good? Please feel free to add that in the comments box.

If the way you communicate is standing in between where you are and where you desire to be in terms of achieving our goals, consult me either for one-on-one coaching, group coaching , facilitation, training or to be a key note speaker.

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Filed Under: Character, Coaching, Communication, Culture, Emotions, Employee Engagement, Energize Your Leadership, Habits, Integrity, Lead By Example, Lead From Within, Leadership & Personal Development, Life, Relationships, Sales Leadership, self-awareness Tagged With: Communication, connect, Dale Carnegie, lead by example, lead from within, Leadership, Listening, Questions

15 Ways To Enhance Your Self-Awareness

18 April 2016 By Lalita Raman Leave a Comment

As soon as you walk into the airport check in counter of the specific airline that you are flying with, you may have observed that the flight personnel approach you and ask you these questions

Which class are you flying?
Where are you flying to?
Are you flying business class?

For a seasoned traveler and a traveler who is in a hurry to check in and go through immigration and security, answering these irrelevant questions is probably a waste of time. They know where they are going, which line they need to check in and which class they are flying.

Even for relatively new travelers, answering those barrage of questions asked either loudly or as a matter of fact, may be a waste of time.

Probably a better question may be
How may I help you ?
Do you need help?
In case you need help, please ask me, my name is …..

No matter what services you are offering or what you are doing or whom you are being, self-awareness is crucial. 

#Self-awareness is crucial in every aspect of your #life. #leadership

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Often, when I am either coaching my clients or conducting workshops or facilitating, I am often asked how does one become self-aware?

Cultivating Self-awareness can vary from person to person. Hint: observe, listen and self-coach.

Self-coaching can be done by asking questions of yourself. Asking pertinent questions of yourself and others is a great way to engage in fruitful conversations with others and also with yourself (by way of self-talk).

What questions can ask yourself to cultivate self-awareness?

→1.Did I show genuine interest whilst conversing with others? If not, why not? How can I improve myself?

→2.Did I accept my mistake when I made one? If not, what was the reason for the hesitancy? How can I become better at accepting my mistakes ?

→3.Do I know what made me uncomfortable in that specific situation ? If yes, how can I get over it, if something similar happens next time?

→4.What were the reasons I hesitated to speak up ?

→5.How can I remind myself to listen actively when I am distracted? 

Observing and #listening is crucial in cultivating #self-awareness.#leadership #communication

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→6.Did I appreciate and recognize my team mates and my partner or spouse and my near and dear ones, especially when they deserved it? When I recognized them, did I express it genuinely?

→7.Did I give into my anger or did I recognize it and took steps to overcome it in a healthy way?

→8.How well am I able to manage my emotions from moment to moment, in every moment of choice? 

How am I managing my #EI in every moment of #choice? #life #leadership

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→9.We are all biased, did I give into my bias or took a step back to behave differently?

→10.

How am I making myself different in my behaviors and actions as #life teaches me her lessons?

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→11.Am I behaving and acting in a way that reflects my values? Am I giving respect to others values?

→12.Am I adding value in what I do and who I am in the situation in front of me?

→13.Do I enrich diversity in my day-to-day activities and in who I am ?

→14.Do I criticize, condemn and complain when I am frustrated ?

→15.How do I react to changes and challenges that come my way?

This is not an exhaustive list of questions but a good start to think and ask of yourself.

Self-awareness starts with being aware of the impact of your behaviors and actions in every moment of choice. Every action has a reaction and how are you being in the moment?

Courtesy, Humility, Empathy, Respect result from being #self-aware. #leadership

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. Your character is tested in moments of adversity and challenge and not when life is on a cruise.

How are you cultivating self-awareness?

To cultivate self-awareness and overcome inner fears, please consult me for either one-on-one coaching, group coaching, facilitation, workshops or as a speaker.

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Filed Under: Attitude, Character, Communication, Customer Service and Sales, Emotions, Employee Engagement, Energize Your Leadership, Habits, Integrity, Lead By Example, Lead From Within, Leadership & Personal Development, Life, Mindfulness Tagged With: Communication, lead by example, lead from within, Leadership, life, Self-Awareness

5 Essential Behaviors To Be Emotionally Intelligent

22 March 2016 By Lalita Raman Leave a Comment

Last Friday, I went to see my doctor to get my results on the Nerve Conduction Test, that I had done several weeks back. My GP just read out the report and said I had Carpal Tunnel Syndrome and Peripheral Neuropathy. When I asked him, the further course of action, he replied with the utmost caution. Well……. , you could go to the Orthopedic surgeon or wear a splint. I was curious about the options, despite having already read about the options, which I had explored through Google.

He didn’t give me any direct answers and worse still, he started saying that even with surgery for the carpal tunnel syndrome, there is no guarantee of relief and complete cure. He also remarked that being a diabetic means that, the healing process could get complicated and for neuropathy, control of diabetes is essential.

I sat there listening to him and not giving into my emotions. First of all, no one expects a guarantee. Life is short and there are no guarantees. Secondly, he did not tell me anything new and worse still, instead of being emotionally aware about the language and tone that he uses, he was trying to put the entire blame on me being a diabetic and making judgements on the control of Type 1 diabetes.

I was sitting in his room thinking … Do you even know the life I have lived and have you walked in my shoes? Do you even know and understand how I have managed and controlled my diabetes for over 35 years ?……

→How many times have you been a victim of being judged by another, though they know nothing of your life?

→How many times have you typecast and stereotyped a person based on their gender, race, figure, and some traits that you may have observed in this person which happens to be the same as another person or group of people you know?

→How many times have you been emotionally unaware of the impact that your tone, your choice of words and indifference creates on your audience?

→Have you honestly tried to see things from the other person’s point of view?

As a doctor, a manager or a person empowered to lead a team or organization, how emotionally intelligent are you? Emotional Intelligence is about being

1.Self-Aware

Self-awareness is the capacity to introspect and the ability to recognize oneself as an individual separate from the environment and other individuals. It is being aware of what impact your behaviors have on others. Having self-awareness allows you to see where your thoughts and emotions are taking you. Knowing this, you are able to take control of your emotions, your behavior and make changes you want.

Clearly the doctor was unaware of the impact his behavior had on me.

2.Self-Regulation

Knowing when to say what and how is crucial for anyone and especially those who are in a position of impact.

Self-regulation is about being calm, knowing your values, and holding yourself accountable. #EI

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3.Motivation

#Motivation is about doing what you are doing with #passion, #care and #commitment. #EI

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. Being optimistic and realistic and knowing why you do what you do helps you to stay motivated. Doing something without being motivated not only impacts what you do and who you are but also affects the enthusiasm and morale of others.

4.Empathy

Empathy is about putting yourself in someone else’s shoes and seeing things from their perspective. A leader or anyone in a position of impact and influence, has to try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view. They cannot allow their moods or the events of their day to affect the way they communicate or behave. Yes they are human and they need to think before they speak and regulate and manage their moods and emotions before they converse with other people.

Observe, listen, pay attention to body language and the other person’s feelings. #EI

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5.Humanity

We are social animals and we live in the world of communication. It is not only what we say but how we say (tone, body language and facial expression) that has an impact on other people. People who are human are engaging and energizing communicators in that they pay attention to the words, tone of voice and also their body language. They learn to appreciate the value in another person and engage in constructive feedback.

Be direct in your communication and yet be aware that the way you communicate can create doubt, disengagement and mistrust. If you are someone who is in a position to influence others with your behaviors and actions and not able to guard your feelings, and see things from the other person’s point of view, you lack the EI. And in not being emotionally aware, you do not lead by example nor do you inspire others.

→How Emotionally Aware are you?

→How are you becoming EI in your journey of life?

Transitions in life can cause us to be emotionally challenged and overwhelmed, please consult me for one-on-one coaching, group coaching, facilitation or as a speaker on Emotional Intelligence and Transitions.

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Filed Under: Attitude, Character, Coaching, Communication, Emotions, Employee Engagement, Energize Your Leadership, Habits, Lead By Example, Lead From Within, Leadership & Personal Development, Life, Resilience, self-awareness Tagged With: Communication, Doctor, EI, EQ, lead by example, lead from within, Leader, Leadership, Manager, Motivation, sef-regulation, Self-Awareness

Leaders Do Not LEAD

1 March 2016 By Lalita Raman Leave a Comment

Last Thursday, I had to go for a Nerve Conduction Test, that my doctor wanted me to do, since I was experiencing pain in the palm of my hands for past several months.

I had no idea what the test involved and I typically like to be in the know., I asked the assistant how long it would take and as I saw the doctor, soon after exchanging pleasantries, I enthusiastically asked him some specific questions on what the test involved. To one of my questions on where would he connect the electric nodes, he spontaneously responded “don’t worry there are no needles”. I had not expressed any fear of needles nor had asked anything about needles. My response that he can inject as many needles as the test may require and needles don’t scare me, because I have been a diabetic Type 1 for over 35 years, took him by surprise……

→How many times do we, when we are asked questions, tend to respond, based on our filters?

→How many of us patiently listen to the question empathetically?

→How many times do we listen without judgment and be in the moment?

→How many of us in our work and daily life, despite using the right tone, facial expression and body language, are made to feel guilty about asking questions ?

Leadership is about taking an overall perspective, having the humility to listen to another perspective and yet keep the communication and relationship healthy. Whilst giving an opinion may be adequate or necessary in some instances, in others it may not.

Leaders do not LEAD, when they Do Not

1.Let go

If we hold onto our bias, our filters, we will continue to view the world from that narrow perspective.
By not letting go of your baggage, you will be unable to influence others positively.

#Life will not be what you want it to be, if you and your view of the world is frozen. #leadership

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Let go and try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view #leadership

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2.Energize

Impactful #leaders pay attention to not only what they say but how they say #leadership

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. They energize their communication by expressing themselves powerfully and in that they do not judge and be swayed by opinions, likes or dislikes. They listen to connect and see things with a fresh perspective. They think before they speak and are conscious of their bias and its impact, if they do not reframe their communication.

3.Accept

If you fail to adapt, you will not #inspire others. #leadership

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As a leader, you need to trust your intuition. You realize that you don’t get to choose all the cards in your life but you do get to choose how you deal with the cards you are dealt in, by the attitude you take to the adversities.

4.Dare

Despite your experience, you dare to look at things with an unbiased and uncluttered mind.

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You make a conscious choice to look at things with a fresh pair of eyes. You are courageous to try out new things and ready to accept your mistake quickly, when you are wrong. If you do not dare to be a person who is genuinely interested in the other person, you will fail to build a rapport and enhance your relationships. 

#Leaders #LEAD by their character, walking their talk and giving others a fine reputation to live up to.

⇒How are you dealing with people and relationships in your life?⇐

⇒How do you choose to lead by example?⇐

Connect with me for leadership and communications training, workshops, one-on-one coaching.

 

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Filed Under: Attitude, Brand You, Character, Coaching, Communication, Customer Service and Sales, Emotions, Employee Engagement, Generalizations, Habits, Lead By Example, Lead From Within, Leadership & Personal Development, Life, Mindfulness Tagged With: Communication, Dale Carnegie, EI, judgement, lead, Leadership, relationships

You Will Regret, Not Reading This Right Now

8 December 2015 By Lalita Raman Leave a Comment

I was at yoga and as I was holding my push up, the instructor asked “have you injured your left shoulder”? Her question took me by surprise. I responded to her in the negative and then I told her that I had a surgery on my right shoulder rotator cuff, three years back. She said that I am slumping on my left shoulder and the injury and the resultant surgery could be the cause.

Push-ups is something I enjoy at yoga and at the gym and it is only on rare occasions that I would do push-ups with my knees down. I was unaware of this slump on my left shoulder whilst I was doing my push-ups. Now that I was aware of this, I was extra conscious of the same and in fact struggled with my push-ups.

And as I was wondering how I could correct it, I remembered the cycle of competence. I wouldn’t necessarily call myself unconsciously competent in doing push-ups but sudden awareness about this slump on my left shoulder made me feel I had regressed to unconscious incompetence.

→As a leader, how many times are you unconsciously incompetent or consciously incompetent and you allow that to stop you from moving forward?

What can you do as a leader to increase your awareness of your team and your own self-awareness through the cycle of competence?

1.Think about your strengths

In moving from stage 1 of unconsciously incompetent to stage 4 of unconsciously competent or stage 5 of reflective competence, rely on your strengths. When you focus on your strengths and your teams’ strengths, it will change your perspective and give you the confidence to move from stage to stage and be on the right path.

2. Think about your challenges

#Life stops when you stop learning and you take an #attitude of “always in the know” #transitions

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 Growth and development happens when you are ready to let go of your inhibitions.

When you recognize what you do well and be reflective, you are able to create opportunities for yourself and your team. When we are in a negative thinking mode, no insights or breakthroughs are possible and in fact it inhibits our brain from clear thinking.

As a leader, you need to realize that the better you become at something, the more you need to consciously think about how you can get better at that task. Those are the new benchmarks by which you judge the success or failure of who you are or what you do.

In learning a new skill or re-learning a skill, there may be moments when you feel you have regressed to previous stages especially if you fail to practice the new way of doing things or exercise the new skill.

In inspiring others to reach their potential, you need to assess where your team is currently, where is their desired outcome and find out what is creating the gap. Telling your team to fix the problem is not going to close the gap between where they are and the final outcome.

#Coaching is necessary to get members of your team to reach the desired state. #leadership

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What is necessary for coaching ?

1.Create a safe place

Do not Judge. Judgment creates defensiveness and stops people from expressing and communicating with an open mind. If you want people to feel respected, listen to them, respect their views, create a safe place and help them grow.

2.Focus on way forward

Don’t focus on what went wrong because that will be self-defeating and demotivating. #coaching

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Keeping focus on how to get to the desired outcomes will help you move forward and help your team overcome the challenges.

3.Be curious

We engage in the world we create. Ask questions instead of telling or giving orders because asking relevant questions keeps people engaged and helps them to think. Asking for your team’s suggestion helps them to be focused and be involved.

4.Get Commitment

Be# goal oriented and get your team to commit to a plan of action. #leadership

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 A plan of action which you help them to design engages them to give their commitment.

Overall, be it in your progression or your team’s progression, create awareness accompanied by a sense of awakening through coaching and coaching yourself by hiring a coach or self-coaching.

⇒Every leader and trainer and coach should be aware that if the awareness of skill and deficiency is low or non-existent – i.e. the learner is at the unconscious incompetence stage – the person will simply not see the need for learning. Thus it is essential to establish awareness of a weakness or training need (conscious incompetence) prior to attempting to impart or arrange training or skills necessary to move people from stage 2 to 3. People only respond to training and coaching when they are aware of their own need for it, and the personal benefit they will derive from achieving it.⇐

For professional executive coaching either one-on-one or group coaching or training or facilitation please contact me.

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Filed Under: Attitude, Character, Coaching, Communication, Customer Service and Sales, Employee Engagement, Energize Your Leadership, Habits, Integrity, Lead By Example, Lead From Within, Leadership & Personal Development, Life, Meditation, Relationships, Resilience, Sales Leadership, self-awareness, Talent And Human Resources Tagged With: awareness, coaching, Communication, Curiosity, cycle of competence, Leader, Leadership, leadfromwithin, Questions, Self-Awareness, Strengths, Yoga

Five Key Questions To Create An Emotionally Engaging Experience For Your Customer

20 October 2015 By Lalita Raman Leave a Comment

https://flic.kr/p/73ZMzw

Human beings are emotional beings. No matter what role you are in, the art of persuasion appeals to three main areas –

Ethos:

Your #credibility comes from not only what you say but how you say. #ethos #CSR

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Your tone, body language, facial expressions and words matter.

Logos: the logic that you use to support a claim (induction and deduction); any form of evidence that helps you appeal to the rational sense of your audience.

Pathos: the emotional or motivational appeal and herein too, the way you communicate is important.

Three weeks back, a dress that I liked, was on sale in one of the reputed stores and I decided to place the order on-line. When I logged in, I got a message that the size I was looking for was out of stock. I decided to avail of the wait list option that was offered to me. Within 4-5 days, I got an email notification that the wait list item was available and I need to place an order soon. It so happened that the item was still available and I placed the order. I got a confirmation that the order was received and I would get a notification as soon as the order was shipped. Two days later, I receive an email that the order was cancelled and no reason was given. All the email stated was, order cancelled and If you want reply or call. My experience calling their customer service, in the past, has not been pleasant and so I decided to email them requesting them to give me a reason as to why the order was cancelled. The email response was strange, in that they responded saying, sorry place the order again, we could not read your credit card no. To me the content of this response and the tone used was one of “no care”. I had not entered the credit card no with my hand to be told that they could not read it. If it was their system issue that somehow they had lost the credit card no, it was not my fault. Despite all this, this renowned store and one of the biggest and oldest stores in the US, that has an on-line facility, did not apologize and worse, dictated to me that I place the order again.

A relationship with a customer is built, when you can map the journey of your customer through notably, the rational side of the experience and also make it emotionally engaging in a way that it addresses their need and drives value for them. Value is driven from the time the customer or potential customer starts their journey either with exploring your website, entering your shop, speaking to your customer service, sales or marketing, or any other form of contact, that they have with your company. And it does not necessarily end with the goods or services delivered to them.

Why do representatives of organizations, big or small, forget that shopping for anything or dealing with banks or credit cards or any other type of service needs to be “An Experience”? You and your organization need to build an emotionally engaging experience that drives customer loyalty and customer retention.

Seek to ask and understand what the #customer is expecting and feeling coming into the experience.

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This is imperative, for you to understand how you can manage the emotions of your customers in order to create an enjoyable experience for them. The journey is not solely about the touch points of interaction but the entire experience.

When you book a table at a restaurant, the experience includes the way they handle your booking, the way you are greeted at the restaurant, how efficiently and courteously they take you to your table, how soon do they make you feel comfortable by way of their ambience, the way the waiter/waitress speak with you, how soon do they get the menu, how well they explain the dishes, where required, how they take care of the little things that matter, the quality of the dishes, the hygiene level, the waiting time for your order and the checkout process. If you have had a good experience the first time, you will go there repeatedly, as long as the experience continues consistently. It is the same, no matter, whether it is calling your bank, dealing with your broker, buying a house, dealing with your private banker, shopping on-line or on-line subscription to a journal or blog.

Dealing with an organization should not increase stress and anxiety and when it does, the emotional experience leaves a bad taste and the organization loses its value in the customer’s eye.

How do you create an Emotionally Engaging Experience for your customer?

 

1. Are you listening to your customers ?

Listening to your customers, from an emotional and rational perspective for business as usual, for your innovate ideas, for the complaints and the not too pleasant experience that your customer faces, is at the heart of creating a customer-centric culture.

You build client-centricity when you put yourself in their shoes to know what they experience.

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2.Are you looking at the customer’s journey from an emotional perspective?

We enjoy movies with a good story and direction and more importantly those with good actors and actress. The story is taken to a deeper level when the actor or actress plays the role in a way that you get so involved in the character of that story.

Marlon Brando, Al Pacino, Robert De Niro, Jack Nicholson and Dustin Hoffman are just a few famous names and are now possibly the most famous advocates of getting into character by living and breathing every nuance of the world they inhabit.

Hoffman, a method actor by trade, got so prepared for the character he played in Marathon Man, that he lost 15 pounds after running up to four miles a day to get in shape for the demanding role. Legendary Producer Robert Evans claimed that Hoffman would never come into a scene faking the heavy breathing required, and that he would simply run half a mile right before director John Schlesinger yelled ‘action’ to make the scene more believable.

No better way to get and create the emotional experience that a customer gets while dealing with your organization than putting yourself in the shoes of your customer. Visualize how your customer would want the experience to be and map out the behaviors necessary to enable this.

3.How Are You Honoring Your Client’s Perspective?

Your opinions and views don’t matter when you deal with a client. Rational and logic may be useful  and understanding a client from an emotional perspective will go a long way to keep a client fulfilled. Even if you don’t always agree with your client, it’s important to respect their perspective and needs. By understanding your client and their perspective, you establish the trust and make it a memorable experience for the client.

4.Are you hiring the right people?

Who are your hiring to create a valuable and customer-centric culture in your organization? What are their values ? Does it match with the overall vision and purpose of the organization? Your employees are the source to create a rich experience for the clients who deal with your organization.

People who #care for their organization and are treated well by their bosses are #engaged.

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They will focus on doing the right things including creating an experience of dealing with your organization enriching.

5.Do you ask relevant questions ?

Having an empathetic ear to issues that your client faces is one of the best ways to create a long-term relationship with the client. Watch your tone of voice or tone of the email, body language and the words you choose during your interaction. By asking questions such as how may I help you? What is one thing you would like me to do to rectify the situation?, you show empathy and humanity.

Be open, yet circumspect, because this enables you to be in the moment, to ask relevant questions, establish trust and allows the other person to open up. Being over smart never helps because that is going to aggravate your customer and worsen the relationship.

To create a memorable journey for a customer, observe and listen for cues on what do your customers expect from dealing with your organization’s product and services, what would you expect if you were a customer of your products and services, how others want to interact. Adapt your communication style and this applies to every part of the organization, irrespective of customer facing or not, to what your customer may want.

One of my yoga instructors recently remarked that Yoga is not something to get over and done with. It is an experience, an experience of growing strong, breathing and being present in the moment and this has to come from within. Coming from within is something each of are responsible for and the journey is made more pleasant by the instructor’s way of instructing, the rhythm and flow of the class and poses which enables you to breathe, even in your most challenging moment. In the same way, when you are delivering a product or service, no matter the industry, make it a memorable experience and journey for your customer because we are emotional beings and you will drive value for your clients.

From My Professional Experience to Your Success, please contact me for one-on-one coaching, training, group coaching, facilitation, speaking and workshops. 

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Filed Under: Brand You, Character, Coaching, Communication, Customer Service and Sales, Emotions, Employee Engagement, Energize Your Leadership, Integrity, Lead By Example, Lead From Within, Leadership & Personal Development, Sales Leadership, self-awareness Tagged With: client-centricity, Communication, customer, customer loyalty, EI, emotional engagement, EQ, lead by example, leadfromwithin

Five Ways How Yoga Can Make you a Better Leader

31 August 2015 By Lalita Raman 2 Comments

Why Do You Do What You Do ?

Fitness is not just about how physically fit you are. It is about “the intention” with which you work-out at the gym (cardio and/or weights training), or while walking, running or practicing yoga. And in any of these forms of fitness training, physical fitness cannot be achieved without the mental well-being. Setting an intention ahead of the workout helps you to be #mindful on the path to achieving your goal.

Setting an #intention is about being conscious of #why you do what you do. #leadership #mindfulness #transitions

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Most of us experience overwhelm on some days of the week in our lives. Overcoming stress is about taking the right mental attitude to deal with what causes the exhaustion and overwhelm.

Yoga is not just about relaxing, it is about meditation in flow and mindfulness whilst doing the various asanas (poses). It is not about what you want but what you achieve and yoga helps you to do that.

Yoga can be practiced in addition to your gym or running or in isolation.

Here are my favorite reasons to bring yoga as part of your daily life as an entrepreneur and leader 

1. Letting Go of Control

As an entrepreneur or as an employee, you are constantly making decisions and doing something. You are also possibly managing people and coordinating your team’s efforts. If you go to a yoga class, you are led by the instructor. Of course, you choose whose class you want to attend, the type of class you want to attend. Once you are in the class, there is no turning back. You need to go with the flow. You learn to appreciate the importance of giving clear instructions and showing empathy whilst doing the same. Even if you are used to a particular instructor’s style, each day is different for them and you and you have to learn to give in and be in the moment. Not doing so leads to irritation, stress and finally not achieving the purpose of being at yoga.

[Tweet “As a #leader, you need to let go and be in the moment to #trust your gut and your team. #leadership]

2. Do away with Judgment

Over more than 10 years that I have been practicing yoga, I have realized that whenever I judge myself, I lose my focus and chances of injury are higher. Reacting to frustrations or letting your ego get the better of you during yoga makes you distracted, and the results not so desirable.

As an entrepreneur and leader, growth and development is key and making judgment on yourself and others, distracts and deters you from achieving your goal.

3. Patience

Yoga teaches you to be patient. Each day is different and your mental and physical being is different. If you don’t realize and accept this, you can experience frustration. In our daily life, it takes time to reach our goal and achieve our vision. Progress is made slowly and yoga teaches you to be humble and patient. What is most important in your life’s journey is your intention, effort and passion.

4. Connecting

Working and thinking non-stop tires your brain. To be effective and efficient, you need to take timely breaks. Yoga helps you to connect with yourself by quietening your mind. It helps you foster mindfulness and gives your brain the much required break. To get over overwhelm and exhaustion, set aside time for mindfulness through yoga.

This helps you to be creative and get the breakthroughs you are seeking.

5. The Discipline of Flexibility

Every yoga practice requires an open mind and the willingness to accept that moment. To find the agility and flow despite what you are feeling in your body and mind, requires you to be adaptable.

In the same way, entrepreneurs and leaders need to be adaptable in their approach and flexible in the way they communicate.

When we are flexible and implement a wider range of communication skills and take risks to step out of our comfort zones, we become more open-minded and influence others as leaders in who we are ~Lalita

Yoga is a journey that teaches you to be humble, patient, step out of your comfort zone and learn to live in the moment. This is the journey that a leader needs to adopt to be inspirational and influential.

Leading an intentional life is about being conscious of your choices, leading from within, cherishing your relationships and your every living moment. 

Yoga has made me resilient and look at life mind fully and with enthusiasm, no matter what transitions in life I have had to face.

If you are looking to enhance your executive presence through transitions you face, please connect with me and let’s have a chat. 

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Filed Under: Attitude, Character, Coaching, Communication, Culture, Emotions, Employee Engagement, Energize Your Leadership, Entrepreneur, Habits, Health, Integrity, Lead By Example, Lead From Within, Leadership & Personal Development, Life, Meditation, Mindfulness, Relationships, self-awareness Tagged With: coaching, creativity, entrepreneur, judgement, lead by example, leadership. leader, leadfromwithin, overwhelm, stress, Transitions, Yoga

The 4 Cs Of Effective Communication

27 July 2015 By Lalita Raman Leave a Comment

It is no doubt that good leaders are also effective communicators.

“I don’t understand why anyone would have an issue with the way I communicate. I consider everyone’s view-point and yet my team and my boss feels that I am not being collaborative and I’m a control freak.”

This was the remark made by one of my clients (let’s call him Jeff) when I met him for the first time after he was assigned a coach by his organization.

Jeff had a tendency to talk indiscriminately. He never listened and never gave an opportunity to his audience, one on one or with several, to talk. At work, he overburdened his team, his peers, his direct reports with information. Added to this, he also had a habit of being in control too tightly; thus being perceived as stifling independent initiative. As a result of his micro-managing, he created resentment especially among his direct reports. Jeff caused ambiguity and unnecessary anxiety by not allowing others to talk and in not listening.

Jeff displayed strong self-confidence and his actions and behaviors indicated that he was in the best position to know what is really needed. He was thus perceived as self-centered or even arrogant at times; especially because he did not give others an opportunity to express themselves.

Is Communication “not listening”?

A colleague of mine has the habit of getting her family members and friends to say yes in a manner which is quite manipulative and coercive. She will ask those friends or family members to whom she has given gifts, isn’t what I gave you the best, you liked it no? I always give the best. She also has a habit of telling people to include her in her contact list and send her a what’s app and she asks them to do so by standing next to them and telling them to do so immediately. Whilst one can give her candid feedback about her gift and also say no or I’ll do it later to her what’s app request, most people don’t do so because no one wants to hurt her feelings. They also don’t want her to get upset on either being told ‘no’ or I’ll do it later.

Is Communication forcing yourself on others? Do you seek to force your opinion on others?

What is Effective Communication?

Those who inspire others as leaders influence by the way they act, how they communicate (what they say and how they say it). Bottom-line good leaders are good communicators.

Think about it, how can you inspire and influence others if you don’t communicate in a clear, credible and authentic way and don’t listen to what others have to say?

What are the key habits to adopt to become an effective communicator?

1. Connection

Communication is about engaging with others and in doing so you need to make the audience feel comfortable. For this you need to be self-aware – what is your communication style, what is working well and with whom and where you need to adapt. You need to understand others and adapt your style to make that connection.

Jeff was not self-aware nor did he take time to understand others.

2. Clarity and Conciseness

Communication does not mean you keep talking indiscriminately. Say what you have to say and say it in a concise way. Overloading people with information nonstop is not going to get or keep their attention. Being verbose kills your effectiveness. Be interactive and listen. Keep your communication simple, concrete and clear.

Jeff was thinking he was communicating effectively. However, he was the only one talking every time he was in conversation with another person – be it at meetings, one on one or on the phone. During his coaching, he realized he was long-winded and verbose in the way he communicated.

3. Confidence

Confidence is articulated in what you say and how you say it. Being self-confident doesn’t mean being self-centered and believing that you are the be all and end all to everything. Your words, facial expressions, body language, tone of voice all play an important part in the way others see you as confident or not.

#Confidence is also conveyed in the way you #listen. #communication

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Part of confidence is about how charismatic you are. If you are distracted or too self-centered, you will not be able to connect with others.

4. Concentrate and Comprehend

Listen with your eyes and ears.

You listen for feeling, meaning, behavior in #empathetic #listening. #communication #EI

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You sense what the other person is going through and you give your full undivided attention to your audience.

An effective and inspiring leader asks good questions and then listens with their eyes, ears, feeling and gives their full focus to their audience. You also look for the nonverbal cues. Sometimes a person’s facial expressions and body language will convey everything you need to know much more than their words.

Clearly, Jeff did not listen. Through coaching, he realized that even with his friends, he would ask a question and then interrupt them before they could complete a single sentence. He wanted to have a conversation with people but conversation was one way which was him talking continuously. My colleague, did the same by declaring her gift as the best and forcing people to do something without being empathetic to her audience. Her tone, body language and facial expressions were condescending and she did not give an opportunity to her audience to express their view-point.

5. Commitment

Say what you said you will do. Keep up your word. If you have delegated a task, provide an environment where you allow a person to grow and develop. By being a control freak, you will not gain the trust from others.

#Effective #communication is about how good are your inter-personal skills. #peopleskills #relationships

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Communication is what you say and how you say and in all this no matter whether you are informing, convincing, engaging or having your audience take action, you should care for your audience. 

For one-on-one coaching, speaking, facilitation of workshops or training on communications and leadership, please connect. 

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Filed Under: Coaching, Communication, Customer Service and Sales, Emotions, Employee Engagement, Energize Your Leadership, Habits, Lead By Example, Lead From Within, Leadership & Personal Development, Life, Relationships, Sales Leadership, self-awareness, Talent And Human Resources Tagged With: coaching, Commitment, Communication, confidence, Empathy, lead by example, Leadership, leadfromwithin, Listening, self-confidence

Oh No! Not Another Meeting

26 March 2015 By Lalita Raman Leave a Comment

I can’t believe you will be there at the meeting. This was a remark made by one of my colleagues. This meeting has an agenda and we always get something done and achieve what we set out for. I don’t have any issues attending these kind of fruitful meetings was my response to him.

Couple of weeks back, I received an email asking a group of us of our availability during a particular week. I read that email and was confused. First of all there was no clear agenda or plan as to what we need each one’s expertise for. What is each one’s interest or what are each of us good at and how can this be used to get the best of what needs to be achieved during the end of that week for which this email was sent out. Meetings were held before this as to what we need to do and other than something needs to be done, nothing concrete materialized.

Let’s schedule a meeting has become the main stay of most of the corporate world, the nonprofit world and basically part of our day-to-day life. Let’s discuss on Skype, G+, conference call or face to face monthly morning meeting, weekly morning meeting or daily meeting. No matter if Ideas need to be discussed or progress needs to be checked on, let’s call a meeting.

Whilst there is nothing wrong with scheduling a meeting, regularly or not, it may not be the right solution and even in instances, where, it is the best answer, the meeting needs to be structured and held in such a way, that the end goal is achieved and each participant in the meeting feels that their time was well utilized.

People in leadership positions (not necessarily all of them behave like leaders) are more often than not responsible for calling for meetings and most of the time these meetings becomes a tool in their hands to justify their presence. It is like a tick in the box with very little or no meaningful engagement from the participants.

Questions that leaders can ask themselves is

1. What is the purpose of the meeting ?

Do I really need this meeting? Is it to discuss ideas, monitor progress and is there a necessity to do that ? Am I calling for a meeting because it has been done so for the past 10 years?

Are you relying heavily on face to face meetings rather than reading and analyzing reports and data available to you ?

Do you tend to have the meetings to solicit input from others but tend to either ignore their inputs or have a tough time making decisions?

2. Do you have a clear road map to achieve the purpose?

Once you have determined that there is a concrete purpose to the meeting, set a road map as to how you will achieve it.

Are you going to be dominant and self-oriented and give little or no chance to others to contribute?

How are you going to get others to communicate and contribute?

We live in the world of communication and to keep the flow of communication going, your attitude, your mindset and what you say and how you say are all equally important.

3. What kind of a leader or person are you ?

Check your style by performing an assessment so that you are aware or increase your awareness and at the same time get others perspectives.

⇒Are you

Conservative/Technical/Innovative in terms of your approach to problems and solutions. How is this affecting your daily management of your day and the way you communicate with others.

⇒How are you in

Structuring/Delegation/Communication when it comes to your team and defining expectations.

Where do you need to #letgo to get the best from your team? #communication #peopleskills

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⇒Are you a thinker or a doer and how do you balance it out in your day-to-day interactions – Strategic v/s Tactical.

⇒What is your style – relationship centered or task centered or are you balanced about the two in seeking to achieve your vision. How are you using your style to communicate with others and encourage them?

Meetings can be interesting if there is a set goal, interesting ways to get to the goal and there is clear communication flow.

How can you make your #meetings #interesting, #productive and #effective for yourself and others?

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 Do you want people to attend your meetings because they have to and not feel like? Do you want the participants in your meeting giving their attention to their mobile or achieving the purpose of the meeting?

When do you enjoy meetings and why? Can you bring some of that in the meetings you conduct?

Let’s connect for workshops, group coaching, facilitation, one-on-one coaching. 

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Filed Under: Attitude, Coaching, Communication, Employee Engagement, Habits, Integrity, Lead By Example, Lead From Within, Leadership & Personal Development, Life, Mindfulness Tagged With: attitude, Communication, lead change, lead from within, leaders, Leadership, meetings

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