Little Things That Matter

Learn From The Past, Live The Present and Have An Open Mind to Face Tomorrow

Archives for April 2013

What Can You Learn About Leadership From Children?

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I was staying with my sister when I was visiting my family last week. One of her neighbors has two girls aged 5 and 7, Rita and Meeta. These two girls are the most adorable children I have ever met. They spend their entire evening at my sister’s house, after she and her husband get back home.  One of the evenings, we were chatting and having fun with the kids when the younger girl, Rita whispers something in her sister, Meeta’s, ear and tells her don’t share. “Keep it a secret, ok promise.” She then looks at me from the corner of her eye with an abashed look. By then, Meeta, however reveals her secret. The secret being that Rita has a friend in school who loves her. Rita looks at us sheepishly and says he keeps saying I love you. But I don’t.  So my sister asks her, so why don’t you tell him what you feel? Oh, but I have only over heard and he hasn’t told me directly. When he tells me directly, I’ll let him know. My sister asks her how would she tell him, and I was surprised with her response. She said, “I love my parents and my sister, and as of now that’s it.”

Mind you, this is a girl who is barely 5 years old.

What lessons of leadership can we learn from children?

  1.  Clarity – Rita was very clear in communicating about her experience, what love meant to her and why this boy’s behavior made her uncomfortable. Even at that age she was crystal clear and did not mince her words.  She was confused and her mind was possibly wrestling with what she should do. She in her childlike innocence revealed her secret to her sister. Leaders often know what is needed but many times get lost in their mental chatter. Often the solution lies in mindfulness and following the heart and not laboring the mind. The time to act is not when you are confused.
  2. Emotional Intelligence – Rita had overheard this remark but she had the EQ not to react to that boy, because that comment was not yet made directly to her. She had the emotional awareness to not react immediately but prepare herself if and when that happens. As leaders, of utmost importance, is striking the right balance between IQ and EQ. Many times the team may consist of people who may not have understood what is required of them or may be preoccupied with some other thoughts. A leader will do well to recognize such situations and not publicly humiliate team members who err or consistently seem preoccupied.  Leaders can navigate through challenging times if they have a high EQ. Being self-aware and empathetic is critical.
  3. Discuss and Ask for Help – Rita was feeling embarrassed to discuss what was troubling her in front of my sister and I, but my gut feel is that she told Meeta realizing that she would tell us. Rita did that because she wanted to discuss and see what we had to tell her. As leaders, you can’t be expected to know everything. If you are not sure of something, ask, discuss and clarify. No one can fly solo all the time. It is better to ask for support rather than make a mistake and lose the trust of your team members.

How many times have you been in awe at the questions that children ask ?

Have the questions that a child asks made you reflect?

What have you learned from observing children?

Children are always curious, they never stop asking questions. They are on a never-ending quest to learn, to share, to try out new things. They follow their heart and lead from within though they may be too young to realize this.

 Don’t we as adults and leaders need to learn a thing or two from children?

 

Does “Employee Engagement” Matter?

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From Marc and Angel

John was with his company for a little over two years. He was one of the senior management reporting directly to the CEO and Chairman. He was very soon expected to take over as CEO and Chairman. However, John was frustrated and has been mulling over leaving the firm to pursue other opportunities.  John had joined this firm with a lot of expectations in terms of the vision he saw for this company. This was the second firm in his 15 year career so far.

Employee engagement has become a key word and an area of focus within organizations more so from the point view of retention. What is employee engagement? Employee engagement is the emotional commitment that a person has to their organization.

What is the Key to Employee Engagement

From Gallup

12 questions for Employee Engagement

1) Do you know what is expected of you at work?
2) Do you have the materials and equipment to do your work right?
3) At work, do you have the opportunity to do what you do best every day?
4) In the last seven days, have you received recognition or praise for doing good work?
5) Does your supervisor, or someone at work, seem to care about you as a person?
6) Is there someone at work who encourages your development?
7) At work, do your opinions seem to count?
8) Does the mission/purpose of your company make you feel your job is important?
9) Are your associates (fellow employees) committed to doing quality work?
10) Do you have a best friend at work?
11) In the last six months, has someone at work talked to you about your progress?
12) In the last year, have you had opportunities to learn and grow?

Key questions to ask to retain good people

Please refer this LINK

In John’s case, he had always surpassed what was expected of him, he was also a strong candidate tipped to become the next CEO and Chairman. But yet he wanted to leave.

The key question here is was he ever asked by the CEO and Chairman How can I, and the company, help you fulfill your career goals and your vision ?

Whenever you have changed organizations ask yourself what is that you lacked the most.  Was it just a promotion and salary hike or one or all of the following

  1. Appreciation – As leaders it is key to deliver the recognition in a manner that the employee is comfortable. Just saying “Hey good job” delivered in a no care attitude hardly does the job. Recognition and appreciation has to be specific (with referral to what was done well and the efforts that they put in) and timely.
  2. You Matter – being appreciated, recognized and made to feel You Matter is a continuous process rather than a onetime event. A true leader realizes that it is important to create and maintain such an environment. It is about them and not about you or your achievements.
  3. Larger goal – engagement is high when what we do is linked to a larger vision or purpose. True meaning is achieved when we can connect to something bigger than us.
  4. Tone – delivery of words of praise has to be meaningful and sincere. Tone in which the message is communicated matters most.
  5. Clarity – you have to be clear and focused in what you liked the most and how it contributed to the overall vision of the company or goal of the project. Sandwiching too many compliments makes the feedback confusing.  The Sandwich Approach also undermines your message.

No one is perfect and we all learn from mistakes. While correcting the employee for their mistake the following should never be done

  1. Public humiliation – none of us like to be embarrassed in front of our team. Even when circumstances warrant you to correct someone amongst a group, the way the message is delivered is important.
  2. Not walking your talk – you need to spend time with your team. You need to deliver on your word. Motivation is badly affected when you as a leader don’t lead by example.
  3. People skills – communication of the goals, developments, changes in management structure is imperative. Employee engagement will be low when you keep your employees second guessing. Many employees learn from media as to what is going on within their company rather than from their managers.

John was recognized for his performance but the communication lines had broken down. The company changed its vision which was never directly communicated to him, the ‘why’ was never answered and ‘what’ he was hired for was forgotten along the way. Bottom line of career management is to align right people to right position, doing the right thing = operational performance + productivity + profit.

Employee engagement is a three-way process and requires responsibility, accountability and ownership from the employer, the employees and the organization.

Useful References

Research on Employee Engagement

Are You Living on “Assumptions”

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“Oh you must be loaded since you contribute regularly to various charitable causes…….”
“She anyway does not care, why bother asking her?…..”
“She surely does not have much to say given that she is a quiet person….”
“You do yoga, you must be a pro at meditation and of course flexibility is never an issue for you……….”
“I assumed you were busy and wouldn’t come, so I did not ask you….
“He is always smiling, he has an easy life….”

What does what you just heard sound like ?

An assumption, a stereotype, a single story.

An assumption is something that is taken as the truth without attempting to check for facts. When you make an assumption, you assume characteristics of other people without really taking the time and effort to get to know them.

What happens when  you assume?

  • Does your self assumptions inhibit you from further development, growth and keeping an open mind?
  • Have you assumed that your customer is not interested in the diverse range of products your firm has to offer and thus you don’t bother exploring having a conversation with your client?
  • Have you assumed that your business partner or friend or spouse automatically knows what you want or the type of day you have had ?
  • If you think you are a leader do you ask questions to clarify or assume that your team has understood your vision and what you have expressed?
  • Have you asked why someone in a business or personal relationship consistently keeps calling you though you may have explicitly stated that you don’t want to be disturbed?
  • How many times do you generalize an entire country or nationality based on few people you happen to know?

Bottom line, every time you assume, you narrow your thinking, you stop exploring, you stop asking questions, you bring a parasite into your relationships, you could possibly end up spoiling your relationships, and make yourself unhappy.

  • How many times have you been at the receiving end and how many times have you assumed or used a single story on someone?
  • How have you felt when you have been a victim of an assumption either on social media or in real life?

Here is a Ted Video on The Danger of A Single Story

Find the courage to ask questions. Don’t make assumptions, since assumptions are the bane on relationships.

Do you want to limit yourself with a narrow and close minded view of the world?

Do you want to perceive the world through assumptions made on your narrow thinking of being influenced by others ?

Do you want to believe in Single Stories?

Image Source

Are You A Heart Based Salesperson ?

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Image Source : Linked to the Source

Would you like dealing with a person or an organization where your interest is to deal in Equities and they turn a blind eye to your needs and insist on offering you Fixed Income products?

Or let’s say you are looking for a mode of investment for a period of six months without loss of principal and returns no less than 5% p.a. Would you like to be serviced by a sales person who is fixated about selling you something for 12 months?

Does pricey always mean value? The same dynamics of value creation can be extended to a sales role in any industry. In every sale, in every field if you have no real intention of creating value for your customer, then you aren’t selling. In selling and marketing you need to lead with your value and not your rates. You need to make it meaningful in that you create a better outcome for your clients.

There’s no free lunch in this world, thus there is a price for everything you want. Just make sure the price you pay is worth the value you get.

Typically a sales person is greeted with disdain. I know many people who picturize a sales person as a used-car salesmen, someone who is desperate to make a sale, harasses you endlessly, makes promises but rarely delivers and wants to con you into buying something and yet when it comes to after sales service the person is Missing In Action.

The most essential skill that each of us need to have, no matter what we are engaged in, is Selling or Marketing yourself. The one skill that everyone needs and yet no college really teaches is ‘selling’.

You are the CEO of your personal brand and unless you market yourself and develop the soft skills, no one will know about you. No matter what you do or are, you are engaged in selling. Selling your idea, your brand, your service, your product, or various aspects of your business.

I have never understood why people consider someone to be a good sales person if they have managed to make a sale along the lines of “Selling Ice To Eskimos”.  Are you wondering why ?

For the Full Post click the following LINK

Are you ready for a retreat into ‘The Silence’

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“We sit silently and watch the world around us. This has taken a lifetime to learn. It seems only the old are able to sit next to one another and not say anything and still feel content. The young, brash and impatient, must always break the silence. It is a waste, for silence is pure. Silence is holy. It draws people together because only those who are comfortable with each other can sit without speaking. This is the great paradox.” Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook

On Easter Friday, I went with my friend  on a hike with her dog. She mentioned that she wanted to try ‘Vipassana’ a retreat into silence for 10 days. I had heard of similar things that some of my other friends had attended.

My first question to her would I be able to read? Of course I knew that, ‘Vipassana‘ does not allow reading, writing, talking, listening to music or any form of communication.

I heard myself saying being silent is fine as long as I can read. Yeah, I think I can do that for may be three days, but ten full days, I doubt it.

She started sharing similar things that she needs music, or TV or books to read.

My sister puts the TV on as soon as she comes home. The TV is on but she is not watching it and probably barely listening to it. It is almost like background noise in her house.

How many of you know people amongst your friends or family who have the music or TV on though they may not be listening or watching the same.

Why do many of us find this need to be doing something at all times?

Is it to simulate our mind?

Is it to avoid the silence engulfing us? Why did I worry about not being able to read or listen to music when my friend and I were discussing about ‘Vipassana’?

Why did my friend have similar concerns?

Most common responses you are probably going to hear is

  • the silence is deafening
  • I’ve no idea what I’ll do with silence all around me
  • I need to avoid the weird thoughts that come to my mind
  • I need to quieten my mind
  • I’ll feel lonely in complete silence
  • I’ll go insane.

I was worried because I am scared of being silent with no form of communication. I’m silent many times during the day but I’m reading or working or listening to music or writing or thinking or hiking or at the gym or yoga. Although I practice Mindfulness for a short period of time in the day, I can’t imagine myself doing meditation for 10 days and just being with myself and my thoughts. The lack of a stimulant in the form of books, articles to read or music almost feels like a vacuum in the absence of not talking.

Mindfulness and the practice of meditation apparently has been known to strengthen our pre frontal cortex.

I’m piqued but not sure if I am ready to take this journey of ‘Vipassana’ yet. It is a challenge and just because it is a challenge I’m tempted to do it.

I derive a lot of strength in silence during the day and when I am ready to undertake the journey of “Vipassana”, I hope I find peace and strength from that experience.

What are your thoughts?

Have you been on a journey of ‘Silence’ ?