Little Things That Matter

Learn From The Past, Live The Present and Have An Open Mind to Face Tomorrow

How To Give Feedback That Matters

By 2 Comments

The training starts at 9 am. All, but 2 participants arrive either early or on time. However, the training doesn’t start till after the two participants have arrived which is at 9:07 am.

At the gym, in the RPM class of 30 members, ten to fifteen members work beyond their comfort zone and they work out because they are interested in making a difference to their training. The rest of them are in the class as if someone has forced them to be there. The instructor gives more attention to these non-performers.

A group of people decide to write a book together, and in the sub groups some of them submit their chapters on time and others don’t. Yet the people who submit on time are not acknowledged or worse still the whole process gets stuck because of people who don’t bother keeping up to the agreed deadlines.

Mary is in a team of five people within a multi-national firm. She works in their business development and strategic planning function. Mary is a lateral thinker, learns new concepts and skills rapidly and applies it in new and untested ways to achieve spectacular results. She may not be an expert on every aspect but is quick to accommodate, adapt, learn and apply, yet achieve more than the results expected. Two others in her team are good in their own way. Mary or the other two don’t seem to get any praise or positive feedback. Their efforts are not only taken for granted but not acknowledged.

What is common in all the above scenarios?

Giving feedback, praise, appreciation …. A critical skill and yet ignored by leaders, managers, coaches and many people in their daily walk of life.

As a child, haven’t we been encouraged, praised, ‘wowed at’ when we walked for the first time. For those who are parents of small kids haven’t you adored and been ecstatic when your little child walked for the first time. You didn’t criticize your child for not having walked properly or falling down when he or she took his first step or took the walking for granted and completely ignored the fact that your child had walked for the first time. Twenty years down the line, do you think you or your child have stopped wanting appreciation?

When did we stop wanting recognition or praise? NEVER

In my coaching sessions with managers or leaders of organizations, I find managers struggling to give feedback that consists of positive comments. The struggle that most people have with giving praise is what do I tell them other than commenting “awesome” or “spectacular”. That kind of comment made often sounds like flattery instead of genuine appreciation.

As human beings we all like to be recognized and genuinely praised irrespective of age, gender or personality.

How do we give feedback or appreciation ?

1. Listen and observe 

Do not underestimate the power of listening and observing. In doing so, you’ll be able to notice the specific things that people in your personal or work life do well. This provides you with evidence to be able to praise the person and acknowledge that they did something well. Worse still don’t ignore the fact that someone has been on time, someone has made an effort to work hard and smart and someone has met deadlines.

2. Little things that matter

“Praise the slight improvement and praise every improvement. Be hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise” Dale Carnegie. Every small achievement matters. Appreciate even the small gestures because that makes the receiver feel good and encouraged.  

Silent #appreciation or #gratitude is as good as none. #peopleskills #neuroscience #brain #leadfromwithin #life

Click To Tweet

3. Genuine appreciation  

If you give specific appreciation instead of overloading with just adjectives, you’ll be able to show genuine interest. In organizations, as managers of teams or as leaders why not get to know someone in terms of their strengths and their interests? Make observations on how they act and behave and do things. We are emotional beings and it helps to have an EQ that makes another person feel “You Matter“.

4. Feedback culture

Cultivate a habit in your daily life of giving appreciation to those in your life. Develop a culture within your organization to give and receive feedback. Feedback needs to be positive and if you have an area of development to point out, do so, but definitely do not load it with negatives and criticism. None of us need help with criticizing ourselves. Each of us are experts on that. Don’t wait for a 360° feedback process at the end of the year, that is done like a chore instead of truly using it as a way of providing genuine feedback and appreciation. Feedback should be ‘continuous’ so that people know what they are doing well, what do they see as challenges and thus need to work   on developing.

#Relationships are not like a robot. You need to treat them with care and that is key to building #peopleskills.

Click To Tweet

What are you doing to build and strengthen #relationships? #leadfromwithin #peopleskills

Click To Tweet

Are you “seeing” people?

“I see you. You matter.”

For Coaching, Speaking or Training let’s connect.

Are You Living Your Authenticity?

By 6 Comments

Lalita Raman

In this age of information and technology overload, there are many times each of us possibly feel that we are on a hamster wheel, one that we are unable to get off. We try to copy others who we think are a role model of our definition of success. We go to spas, movies and seek various avenues to run away into this so-called fantasy land.

What do we need most at this juncture?

A journey within, to follow the inner voice that has both gentleness and clarity and helps you find who you really are.  We need to be bold and courageous to follow this inner journey, to face who we are, what we are capable of, what we are uncomfortable with and be true and honest to the inner core.

When you go through adversity in your life, your real character is tested. Authenticity is who you are, how you relate to others, discovering your talents, your own energies and passions. Being who you are is when your audio, video and thoughts are all in sync. There is no mask or different strokes for different people.

I believe that authenticity doesn’t come from status, titles, qualifications, or the amount that you have in your bank account but 
authenticity is:

  • 
to Know
  • to Be 

  • to Accept
  • 
to Create

                     Yourself

Keys To Authenticity

1. Self awareness – knowing who you are and being you and finding contentment and fulfillment in that. It also relates to how you relate to others and the way they see you. If you truly know yourself, and project yourself in the same way, others perception of you will be the same as what you know “you” to be.

2. Talents – find out what you are capable of, passionate about, and what appeals to you. Discover your talents and develop them.

3. Lead with your soul – you’ll make an impact on others only if you empower yourself to lead with your soul, your inner voice and accept who you are. Your inner drive is the one that will steer you through doubts, fears and negative energy.

Throughout our life we need to question our beliefs, learnings, see around us and listen to the reality that surrounds us.

There is no point doing yoga or meditation or charity and considering yourself authentic, if you don’t know how to be courteous to your neighbor, your surroundings and respect the living space around you.

Have you asked these questions of yourself ?
1. What would you like to do?
2. When you like what you do, what does that mean to you ?
3. When you don’t have what you like what does that mean to you ?
4. Do you have passion and enthusiasm in doing what you are doing?
5. Do you have the talents and skills to do what you love doing? Are you willing to develop those talents once you have discovered them

Does “Employee Engagement” Matter?

By 8 Comments

From Marc and Angel

John was with his company for a little over two years. He was one of the senior management reporting directly to the CEO and Chairman. He was very soon expected to take over as CEO and Chairman. However, John was frustrated and has been mulling over leaving the firm to pursue other opportunities.  John had joined this firm with a lot of expectations in terms of the vision he saw for this company. This was the second firm in his 15 year career so far.

Employee engagement has become a key word and an area of focus within organizations more so from the point view of retention. What is employee engagement? Employee engagement is the emotional commitment that a person has to their organization.

What is the Key to Employee Engagement

From Gallup

12 questions for Employee Engagement

1) Do you know what is expected of you at work?
2) Do you have the materials and equipment to do your work right?
3) At work, do you have the opportunity to do what you do best every day?
4) In the last seven days, have you received recognition or praise for doing good work?
5) Does your supervisor, or someone at work, seem to care about you as a person?
6) Is there someone at work who encourages your development?
7) At work, do your opinions seem to count?
8) Does the mission/purpose of your company make you feel your job is important?
9) Are your associates (fellow employees) committed to doing quality work?
10) Do you have a best friend at work?
11) In the last six months, has someone at work talked to you about your progress?
12) In the last year, have you had opportunities to learn and grow?

Key questions to ask to retain good people

Please refer this LINK

In John’s case, he had always surpassed what was expected of him, he was also a strong candidate tipped to become the next CEO and Chairman. But yet he wanted to leave.

The key question here is was he ever asked by the CEO and Chairman How can I, and the company, help you fulfill your career goals and your vision ?

Whenever you have changed organizations ask yourself what is that you lacked the most.  Was it just a promotion and salary hike or one or all of the following

  1. Appreciation – As leaders it is key to deliver the recognition in a manner that the employee is comfortable. Just saying “Hey good job” delivered in a no care attitude hardly does the job. Recognition and appreciation has to be specific (with referral to what was done well and the efforts that they put in) and timely.
  2. You Matter – being appreciated, recognized and made to feel You Matter is a continuous process rather than a onetime event. A true leader realizes that it is important to create and maintain such an environment. It is about them and not about you or your achievements.
  3. Larger goal – engagement is high when what we do is linked to a larger vision or purpose. True meaning is achieved when we can connect to something bigger than us.
  4. Tone – delivery of words of praise has to be meaningful and sincere. Tone in which the message is communicated matters most.
  5. Clarity – you have to be clear and focused in what you liked the most and how it contributed to the overall vision of the company or goal of the project. Sandwiching too many compliments makes the feedback confusing.  The Sandwich Approach also undermines your message.

No one is perfect and we all learn from mistakes. While correcting the employee for their mistake the following should never be done

  1. Public humiliation – none of us like to be embarrassed in front of our team. Even when circumstances warrant you to correct someone amongst a group, the way the message is delivered is important.
  2. Not walking your talk – you need to spend time with your team. You need to deliver on your word. Motivation is badly affected when you as a leader don’t lead by example.
  3. People skills – communication of the goals, developments, changes in management structure is imperative. Employee engagement will be low when you keep your employees second guessing. Many employees learn from media as to what is going on within their company rather than from their managers.

John was recognized for his performance but the communication lines had broken down. The company changed its vision which was never directly communicated to him, the ‘why’ was never answered and ‘what’ he was hired for was forgotten along the way. Bottom line of career management is to align right people to right position, doing the right thing = operational performance + productivity + profit.

Employee engagement is a three-way process and requires responsibility, accountability and ownership from the employer, the employees and the organization.

Useful References

Research on Employee Engagement