You see it in others, you feel it in yourself when you exude it and yet you can only describe it by acts of doing instead of being. What is it?

It is Confidence you see in others and you describe it by what they do and how they do it.

  Each of us have self-esteem and we find this even on the dullest moments and on days we want to give up. Self-esteem is not something that can be taken away from us.

Yet, we don’t recognize that we have it and in moments of adversity it is our self-esteem that enables us to bounce back.

It is not about bragging or being narcissistic but it is about who you are, what you are good at and the humility to know and accept what you are not so good at.

Over the weekend, I watched the movie 100 Foot Journey. There is a scene in the movie where Hassan (the lead character) prepares a pigeon dish for his competitor, Madame Mallory. The way Hassan presents the dish to her is with complete confidence in his ability and you notice that as an observer. Of course, he doesn’t get the appreciation that he expects from Madame Mallory. Later in the movie, Hassan, having heard that Madame Mallory hires potential chefs by taste-testing an omelet they prepare for her, asks if he may cook an omelet for her. Citing his injured hands, he says Madame Mallory will have to help him with the process.

After sampling his cooking, Madame Mallory concedes to his potential to be a great chef.

He states to her that he was sure that he had made the first dish and the omelet exactly the way she liked and he was confident that she would like it.

The way this character exudes confidence is memorable.

Self Confidence comes from having the self-esteem about yourself.

  It is also about how you see yourself. Self-esteem gives you that wand to believe in yourself, respect and like yourself, accept your challenges and keep an open mind to learn, develop and continue to grow on the path of excellence. In this movie, Hassan has self-esteem and that enables him to learn, try out new things and excel in his goal and path. It is his self- esteem and self-confidence that enables him to reach the heights of success and yet make the choice when he feels he is at a crossroad.

How do you build your self-esteem and that of others?

1. Listen

Listening is the best gift you can give someone to build their self-esteem and confidence.

2. Encourage

As a child our parents encouraged us to step out of our comfort zone, be adaptable and believe in oneself. Each of us need encouragement no matter our age or gender.

2. Appreciate

As a child we love receiving praise and we get appreciated in the small things we do. However, we never stop wanting to be appreciated no matter our age or gender.

3. Plan ahead

Life is a challenge and it is an untrodden path. Be open to respond with spontaneity on the surprises. And don’t forget that preparation and planning in every aspect of life goes a long way. So, If you want to be a good speaker, prepare, practice and earn the right to speak it and do it with authenticity.

5. Strengths

Be aware of your strengths and use them. Be adaptable because sometimes these very strengths could become your down player. Hassan in this movie had a gift and passion for cooking. He was a natural at it and he knew it, yet he was ready to learn and adapt to become successful.

Self-esteem is something we all have and we can adopt a mindset where we allow us to build our self-confidence with honor and humility.

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