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Turning Whiners To Contributors

8 April 2014 By Lalita Raman Leave a Comment

It was 2pm and I was on my way to a client meeting at 2:30 pm. I felt like having a coffee and decided to stop at the Starbucks on my way to the client’s office. As I entered the Starbucks, I noticed that the queue was rather long and seemed to be not moving. I was debating if I should continue to stand and decided to give it five minutes before I decide to walk out. I heard several murmurs in the queue and complaints about the Starbucks barista’s being too slow.

I started getting impatient and though I realized that not every barista could be the same, my gut told me that there is more to it than meets the eye. I decided to find out what was going on. I requested the man standing behind me to accommodate me when I get back, stating the reason to him as to why I was leaving the queue.

I moved to the front of the queue and realized that a customer was creating a situation and the barista was having a tough time trying to manage this customer. I looked at my watch and realized I had no more than 10 minutes to spare, in order to be at my client’s office on time. And by then, I was determined to have my coffee. I asked for the manager and requested that the manager take care of the situation and have the barista attend to the other customers. I was able to get my coffee within 7 minutes and leave Starbucks to be on time for my clients meeting.

How often do we face similar situations in life and at work where we have to deal with whiners and complainers? The negativity that arises from such situations increases the annoyance factor and doesn’t help anyone solve the issue.

Complaining is a vain way of expressing something without gaining relief. Click To Tweet

Not every complaint may be of importance and more often than not it is whining. Complaining is a stressful thing to do and listen to. As a leader, how do you turn whiners into contributors and avoid the negativity from spiraling? Click To Tweet

Be concerned about genuine complaints or concerns but create an environment to turn the moaners to a friendlier and productive lot.

1. Environment – create an environment which promotes creativity and for your team to use their talent to the fullest. You can create a culture where people connect, share ideas, and improve relationships. Leadership is engagement. In Leadership Mastery, first released in 2000 by Dale Carnegie & Associates, the “secret sauce” is to challenge yourself and others to greatness. Inspiration and motivation are the key ingredients. A challenging environment where each team member feels that their creativity is being used and is being appreciated for their contribution creates an atmosphere of low tolerance level for whiners.

2. Values – how can you as an individual align your values to your firm’s values? Again as a leader, how can you allow the values of your team to be in sync with the company’s vision and their behaviors? An environment that creates a dissonance between the individual values and that of the company’s values promotes dissatisfaction.

3. Accountability – holds each of your team members accountable and secure their confidence. Once you build a culture and live by the value of expecting solutions, you raise the bar and shift the accountability back to each person including the whiners. You help them become a contributor by challenging them to think of solutions and they take responsibility in achieving success despite the odds.

4. Commitment and Positive Attitude – Expecting solutions increases creativity and builds confidence in each of your team members to come up with a solution that works and is acceptable to everyone. You facilitate your team to unleash their power of not to give up and get their commitment to arrive at workable possibilities. This creates a positive attitude and one that is inspiring and motivating.

5. Reward and feedback – you as a leader should not take the importance of giving positive feedback for granted. People whine because they just feel they are underutilized or have not contributed to the idea that they have been told to work on. When people are made to feel like a cog in the wheel, lack of commitment ensues. Praise every improvement every step of the way. You can show them you care for their effort in making a difference to the company’s vision.

Change starts with me and with each of us. It is easy to complain and whine but ask yourself what can you do to make a difference? Click To Tweet

Can you be the solution or provide a solution to the cause of the problem? If you have the time to whine and complain, you can make the time to do something about it. Click To Tweet

The most important team player can be a person who has transitioned from a whiner to a contributor.

For Coaching, Speaking or Training let’s connect.

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Filed Under: Character, Communication, Culture, Employee Engagement, Habits, Integrity, Lead From Within, Leadership & Personal Development, Life Tagged With: complaining, contributors, Dale Carnegie, Leader, leadfromwithin, negativity, Solutions, Starbucks, stressful, whiners

The Art of Believing In Others

18 March 2014 By Lalita Raman 4 Comments

Karen was smiling and looked more confident and happier as I caught a glimpse of her in the lift. I had not seen Karen in the past six months.The last time I had met Karen, she was frustrated, and was on the verge of quitting her job.

As we got out of the crowded lift, Karen came running to me delighted and eager to share the developments in her life. Seeing how exuberant she was, we decided to go to a nearby Starbucks and order coffee, so that I could listen to her in peace.

She had got a promotion and the role she was doing with her company was to her liking. Further, she was expected to head up sales and marketing for her company in Asia, by September this year. I was pleased to know that the belief in her by her new boss and the senior management had brought a new life to the ever so enthusiastic and self-starter Karen I had always known.

You inspire and influence others by believing in their positive potential and by giving them positive feedback. Click To Tweet

No, I don’t mean flattery or baseless praise. We are programmed and wired to be negative and self-critical. How about taking a step back and seeing someone for what they are capable of?

Do you discern the innate abilities and positive potential of those around you? Click To Tweet

Are you one of those who tends to discourage others by asking “Are you sure you are capable of doing that?”

How do you give feedback to others?

Karen felt empowered and motivated by the sheer belief that her boss had placed on her.

Empowerment is

 →not being judgmental

→not being critical

→about challenging others yet giving them a fine reputation to live up to

→believing in that person in a way that facilitates their growth and development

What can you do today to ensure someone knows, you believe in him or her so that they can continue to have faith in their own ability ?

  1. Encouragement – when you encourage others you inspire them with courage and confidence. You make them believe in themselves or make them see endless possibilities, which they may otherwise not have seen.
  2. Empathy – an uncanny ability to see the innate talent and possibility in another. When you discern the potential of your team members and give them a fine reputation to live up to, you  empower them.
  3. Faith – by believing in another person you have shown an immense faith in what they can do and the beauty about this trust is that, they will rarely let you down. They take it as a challenge and live up to or exceed the faith placed in them.
  4. Reaffirmations – silent gratitude or appreciation has no value. You need to give on going reaffirmation of that person’s potential and talents. Feedback is a continuous process and one that can be contextualized to the situation in hand.
  5. Care – sometimes we get so wrapped up in our own world that we forget to acknowledge the brilliance in others. We forget to recognize that our words of encouragement will go a long way in inspiring another person to surpass many a mountain.

 “Treat a man as he is, he will remain so. Treat a man the way he can be and ought to be, and he will become as he can be and should be.” ~ Goethe

What is it like when you remember those who encouraged, empowered, inspired and made you feel valued ?

By believing in others you inspire positivity and set the tone for a shift in their thinking or a life-changing moment. Click To Tweet

Every time you believe in a person you open up a possibility for that person and arouse their Positive Emotional Attractor.

As a Coach, I honor the client as the expert in their life and work and believe clients are creative, resourceful and whole. By helping individuals identify or endorse their strengths,  they dramatically improve their outlook on work and life, while improving their leadership skills and unlocking their potential.

Whom are you going to believe in today ?

For Coaching, Speaking or Training please connect with Lalita Raman.

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Filed Under: Character, Coaching, Communication, Emotions, Habits, Integrity, Life Tagged With: character, Empowerment, encouragement, Leadership, leadfromwithin, life, Positive Emotional Awareness, Starbucks

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