Little Things That Matter

Learn From The Past, Live The Present and Have An Open Mind to Face Tomorrow

Why Say “Thank You”

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Thanksgiving Day is a national holiday celebrated primarily in the United States and Canada. Several other places around the world observe similar celebrations. It is celebrated on the fourth Thursday of November in the United States and on the second Monday of October in Canada. Thanksgiving has its historical roots in religious traditions, but today is celebrated in a more secular manner.
 
The purpose of Thanksgiving is to reflect on everything that we have to be thankful for, be it health, family, food, friends, material possessions, overall happiness and success.

Do we need to Thank only on Thanksgiving Day or make that a part and parcel of our daily life ? I think this day serves as a good reminder that “thankfulness” and “appreciation” are important behaviors that need to be fostered as part of our day-to-day life.

“God gave you a gift of 86,400 seconds today. Have you used one to say “thank you?” William Arthur Ward
Thank you is the two most important words that each of us should never forget to use. Saying Thank you from the heart and with sincerity to another makes a world of difference. It is an expression of sense of gratitude, an acknowledgement, a recognition of someone’s worthwhile contributions, a sense of motivation and encouragement for the receiver.
 
Why Say Thank you ?
 
  1. Feeling grateful and expressing gratitude Even on the most down days, we need to learn to make Thank you a part of our day. Saying Thank You for our meals, for another day that has dawned on us, for our hands, eyes, feet, legs, and every part of our body.  Every little thing matters and having a sense of gratitude that life has offered each of us allows us to fill our life with love and appreciation.
  2. A sense of motivation within an organization – it is a simple and elegant form of recognizing somebody within an organization for their effort and contribution.
  3. Not having something – I’m very accident prone and every time I hurt my toe or finger or elbow, I realize the importance of each and every toe in my feet or the relevant body part. When everything is fine and functioning one tends to take the use of each part of our body for granted. However mishaps and accidents are gentle reminders of how important each part of our body is.
  4. Saying a sincere thank you helps us to become congruent. Congruence between our values, ethics and what we say, do and how we live. Don’t block the feeling to be sincere and shower the praise or gratitude or appreciation on some one else.
  5. What we focus grows – many cultures especially in Asia probably don’t grow up with saying Thank you especially amongst near and dear family and friends. However, the more we practice, the more we feel grateful for, and that means we focus more on things we are grateful for. It forces us not to take things and people around us for granted.
  6. Fill your world with love – being grateful helps us to fill our lives and those around us with love and make the other person know they matter. We remind ourselves by the act of Thank You that every thing matters in our life.
  7. Because It Matters –  it matters to you, it matters to those around you. Spread the love peace and gratitude.
I would like to share with you, one of my favorite Thank you songs  
 

Thank you for taking the time to read this blog and sharing it. Please share your perspective on “Thank you” in the comments section below. Thank you.

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Success : What does It Mean To You ?

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What does success mean to you?  I was asked this question by one of my friends last week. Definitely got me thinking and after some thought I responded to her by saying it is something that appeals to my within, an act and achievement of that act.  She looked at me with the most surprised look and remarked, “oh!, so it is not about promotions, getting compliments, having a big house, or a successful business”.
Yes, success to many of us at some point in our lives may be associated with materialistic concepts because as we are growing up in life those are the things that are given importance to.  I’ve been there, yearned for the same things but life has taught me that success at the end of the day is how well I choose to face my disappointments and change my path to achieve the vision, one that still appeals to my within.  To achieve success one requires confidence, clarity and self-awareness.Success does not mean absence of failure. In fact, I would say not trying at all is possibly the worst failure. Our thoughts guide us through our journey in life and a lot of this depends on what you believe. Self belief is an important ingredient to the path of success. “I believe I can” or “I believe I can’t”, frame our thoughts and more often than not it is these self-limiting beliefs that become hurdles in our path to success.

Let me give you an example,  one of my clients ? (Jim – not his real name) was narrating one of his experiences with his client and how he was getting very frustrated with his client’s inability to understand the nitty-gritty and the technicalities despite his efforts to explain the procedure in detail.  Jim had reached a stage of almost giving up and believed he will not achieve success with this client of his, despite his repeated attempts.  As part of Jim’s coaching sessions, I asked questions focussing on his strengths and to evaluate options not considered.  With the help of coaching, I made him realize that self belief is imperative and closely aligned with self belief is courage, commitment, patience, and flexibility to change approach to reach the final vision.
I believe that a good sales person is one who believes in their ability, the value of the product or service that they are offering and is able to convince their buyer re: the utility value of the product or the service. Real conviction comes from believing in something wholeheartedly and as a good sales person you share that belief with your clients and are able to convince them of the product or service.
Life to each of us is a sum collection of our beliefs and thoughts and translating our vision to reality. If you believe you are, you will be. Belief is translated in your audio and video.  When you have a strong belief in yourself, everything that you do will reveal this positive power of your belief.  And this, I believe is the key to success.  If you believe, you exhibit confidence and being confident matters to the success in what you seek to achieve.
Drawing an analogy, I would say, self belief is almost like an addiction – if you are addicted to your vision,  you will believe you will achieve success and be confident about it and work towards achieving your vision.
For the Full Post Please Click on the LINK

TOP TEN QUESTIONS YOU NEED TO ASK, TO RETAIN TALENT

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“Appreciation is a wonderful thing. It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well” ― Voltaire

Employees who feel valued are more likely to be engaged in their work and feel satisfied and motivated.

Employee turnover is a significant cost to any firm.  Retention is a big issue. Typically people stay at a place when they are unhappy because jobs are hard to find or get. When things open up the “best  people”  leave. This leaves performance and productivity holes in the Company. According to a survey by the American Psychological Association (APA), feeling valued is a key indicator of job performance.

You get the right people on the bus ( refer my post on Marcus Buckingham Alert for Talents) but equally important is retaining the good talent so that they don’t get off the bus. How do you retain your good people?

Ten Questions You Need To Ask Yourself Within an Organization Refer Link for Full Post

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Do You Make Judgements and Stereotype in the First 60 Seconds?

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Elevator speeches and the necessity to impress someone or a group of people has become the call of the day.

How many times have you judged, hated, or been impressed by someone in less than a minute? So if someone whom you were meeting for the first time were to walk in with a fast pace, looked pre-occupied with something, didn’t really spend time on niceties like how are you, how was your day, and didn’t leave any time for detailed discussion as you are going through the meeting, would you  judge that person to be arrogant, overconfident, impatient and curt?

Even in social media we make judgment about people by looking at the number of followers that each one has. Some people are desperate to get the attention of those who have several followers or have been featured in some write-up that someone on Twitter has done about them and included them in Some Top 50 or 75 lists. An assumption is made by most people, that all those who have appeared in such lists, or have a lot of followers, have a good character and are kind. Sounds familiar? Yes so we judge and get judged in a minute or less.

An elevator speech may be very good but the follow through & delivery may not necessarily follow the impressive Elevator Speech.

So what is important for you to know when you meet someone for the first time and this could be an interview, a meeting with a potential business client, a presentation or a stranger who could turn out to be your friend, or client

  1. How you dress is important and even on Social Media many forget that they can’t show a bad Display Pictures or pictures that don’t represent them. Though you don’t have to be branded from top to toe or bedecked in jewelry or wear revealing clothes how you dress and what you wear is very important.
  2. How you walk into an interview or meeting as well as your body language is something that a lot of people tend to underestimate.
  3. It is not necessary to put on an accent. Be authentic & present your view-point succinctly & with clarity . There is no necessity to be rude nor put on a mask.
  4. One could be dressed well but yet many spoil the show when they open their mouth – words used and the tone of your voice is as important as how you look.
  5. Your facial expressions need to convey your authenticity.

The first impression  is important but you have to follow through with content and substance and have a good closure. What you say has to be consistent with what you do and no matter even if you have managed to impress someone in the first minute or so, if you don’t walk your talk you’ll surely cut a sorry figure.

What can you do as an observer? When you meet someone for the first time make observations, go with your gut feel but don’t jump to conclusions in the first minute. You may have someone who seems to be in a hurry and brusque but may be a person full of kindness & gratitude. Engage the person in the conversation before you judge.

Let me share with you a story – one of my friends (now) who was an ex colleague of mine, when I was working with one of the companies was visibly upset at the first second he saw me even before introductions. He always avoided me, was rather rude in his response if I ever asked him anything & whilst it was a regular practice to have a brief meeting with most of your colleagues in the first few weeks, he always came up with an excuse for not meeting me.  The irony was some people really liked him but there were others who were too scared of him. His behavior did strike me as strange and intrigued me. I was eager to get to know him but after trying very hard for a few months, I decided to step back.

I did judge him but my intuition kept telling me otherwise. Days went by, we got talking to each other, our interactions increased but he was always very brusque when he started talking to me. We parted ways going to different organizations and our paths crossed again in another organization. His behavior was completely the opposite. He gave me the insight about this new firm, called me out for a drink. One day I asked him why his behavior towards me had changed dramatically in that he was so pleasant & friendly. To my surprise he said oh!  “I was upset that you were brought in at a higher rank to me when you joined that organization”. “But over time, I figured out that I was showing the anger on the wrong person. I started liking your style and your ideas, and now with both of us again crossing paths I decided I should make up for the bad behavior”.

Many times some people may behave in a particular way because they are judging you by your title or your connections or position.  This incident taught me that I should not necessarily judge and more importantly write off someone by the way they behave. Yes, we have short attention span and it is important to have elevator speeches but let’s not be in a hurry to assess someone in less than a minute.

“Think not I am what I appear.” Byron, Lord

Do you think that the first minute impressions are valid?

Is it right to make a judgement based on first impressions?

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Marcus Buckingham Alert: Hiring For Talent

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Joanne sits back in her chair deep in thought. She is concerned about her daughter Maria who has become very withdrawn, agitated at times and losing interest in whatever she is doing. She has two daughters Ann and Maria who are identical twins. She thinks back on the training and the access to facilities that she has given both her daughters. They have always been given the same training no matter in sport or any other field. Yet, Ann has been a consistent performer and enjoys whatever she does. Maria on the other hand seems disinterested in any of the activities.

Maria has got an innate talent to sing, to write poetry, to draw and she enjoys the few moments in her day when she does what pleases her inner soul. She has no interest in dance, swimming or learning the various languages. She forces herself to go to classes with her sister since her mom wants her to.

  • How many of you have been in a similar position?
  • Or as parents not recognized the innate talents of your children ?
  • How many of us in our organizations have not been recognized for our strengths and our innate talents?
  • How many of us have left our jobs because we feel under-utilized or because of our immediate managers?

Your talent is God’s gift to you. What you do with it is your gift back to God. Leo Buscaglia

Talent is something we are all born with – it is something that drives us, it is the way we think, and it is how we build relationships.  Skills can be taught but not talent. If someone by nature is meticulous and detail oriented or empathetic, these aren’t something you can teach another or even if you do they may not necessarily excel at it. Experience, brain power, and will power are important but it is the talent that carves our recurring thoughts, feelings or behaviors and they explain the Why,Who and How of a person.

Talent is the recurring behavior, feelings and thoughts. Our Strengths are built on fortifying our talents with knowledge and skills

For the Detailed POST, please CLICK THIS LINK 

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How To Practice Positive Leadership

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Pauline is sitting at her desk immersed in her own thoughts and going down the memory lane of her past 30 years.

Pauline still remembers the big day when she was 8 years old. She is waiting for her big day, the final competition for being declared “The Best Child Dancer under 10″ in the biggest competitions held by a TV channel in her country.  She is passionate about dancing and spends hours on her practice. The Finale arrives and she gives a mind-blowing performance. She wins the competition. She gets accolades, awards, appreciation of her performance.  She is exhilarated.

A smile returns to her face when she thinks about this moment.

She has won many awards thereafter not only in her country but also internationally. Dance is her passion but Pauline has always kept it as a hobby rather than make a career out of that. She is multi skilled and has never had any issues in trying out diverse things and out shining in each of those.  She is currently a Senior Executive with a top multinational  – she has spent over 10 years with this Company and has grown in her role.  She is one of the top performers and has contributed to the phenomenal growth of the Company. The Company will face a significant loss if she decides to leave the Company.

Pauline, however is not happy and she rarely shares or shows what is going on beneath the surface.  She continues to give her commitment to her role as a leader, manager and as a senior board member of the organization.  She manages to shut her emotions of not being content whilst she is at work.

A shrill telephone ring shakes Pauline out of her reverie….

Can you picture yourself in Pauline’s shoes ? You bring yourself to work and shut off some of your emotions and over time these get pent-up. No one at work asks you nor does your manager have the time for you, to connect or to find out how you are doing?  You feel like a cog in the wheel and over time it probably affects your productivity and your passion with which you do your work.

Human behavior flows from three main sources: desire, emotion, and knowledge – Plato

Strong emotions & feelings if not recognized tend to be a biggest drain and over time creates a vicious circle of Negative Emotions.

Not recognizing or appreciating the contribution of an individual in an organization affects the performance of not only that person but also the service to clients and possibly the competitive space of the organization.  Many times it isn’t only the financial rewards that count but it is necessary to improve the lines of communication, encourage positive energy which means work on building the strengths of an individual.

An organization is about people and each individual is unique. In meeting and surpassing revenue and growth targets, meeting deadlines, many a manager in an organization forget to truly connect with an individual, their interests and most of all create an environment to make them feel safe and wanted.

For the Full Article please click on the following LINK

Four Little Known Personality Traits That Could Affect Your Relationships

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Picture a scenario in a playground or in a jail where a large bulky kid beats up a small kid or a large honcho in a jail victimizes a relatively weak soul. Most of us can easily associate with this character, called The Bully

Bullies are one we either witness as a child or one some of us may have been victimized by.

In organizations as well we do face bullies but the behavior is not in the form of beating up somebody physically.

The Karpman Triangle describes some habitual roles or positions that people tend to take up in a negative situation or while in conflict. This model suggests that each of us display unconsciously motivated behavioral patterns with the people whom we are in contact with.  There is an unconscious belief/s that drives our behaviors or actions which causes or contributes to evoke a feeling.  This feeling augments beliefs or perceptions about ourselves and others and how we fit in and how we are treated.   Most of these beliefs or perceptions are negative.   The model posts three habitual psychological roles. But research by some of the Coaching Institutes have added a fourth behavior.

The three roles are : Bully, Victim, Rescuer and the Fourth one being Seducer. How do you recognize people who display traits of each of the 4 categories,

Each of us at various times do play some of these roles depending on the situation but the concern is when the drama traits become a dominant factor.

As Coaches, we do meet clients who may display some of these traits on a dominant basis.

Insecurity, feeling unwanted expressed in ways of helplessness or acting very busy or acting as if they are the most important are traits which need to be addressed. 

For the Full Post Please Click the Link 

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What is Your Hat – Leader v/s Manager v/s Counselor v/s Trainer v/s Coach

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In organizations and day-to-day life we come across people who call themselves managers, coach, trainer, teacher, mentor and some consider themselves as leaders. Often some of these terms are used synonymously. Though a person can play the role of a mentor, manager, leader, coach, within an organization, each of these roles are different and unique.

Leader – one who inspires others by their actions and behavior. Leadership is a philosophy of life. Leadership is not about managing things but about developing people. It is about helping people to liberate the fullness of their talents while they pursue a vision that you have inspired them to buy into as a worthy and meaningful one. Great leaders can be great teachers and great coaches.

Manager – managers direct and tell their team what to do. They plan for the achievement of day-to-day tasks and the goals of the department or group whom they manage. Managers, by nature, are concerned with outcomes.

Mentor – Mentors help to shape or influence a person’s beliefs and values in a positive way by resonating with releasing or unveiling a person’s wisdom frequently through the mentor’s own experience. Mentoring is based on wisdom and role experience and tends to be more directive. Mentors have greater influence over client’s career prospects.

What Is Coaching ?

  • Coaching is a process to unlock a person’s potential to maximize their own performance. It is essentially a conversation–a dialogue between the coach and the client which focuses on improvement of skills and concrete results

For Further Details on Differences between Manager and Coach, Mentor and Coach, Counselor and Coach, Trainer and Coach please click on link 

Coaching for Success – Top 9 Reasons To Hire A Coach

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A leader is one who inspires by their actions and receives a buy-in to their vision by what they are, how they act, and what they do.  A leader need not necessarily be one with a title. Leadership is not about the use of authority.   Most organizations have managers but not necessarily many of them are leaders in a true sense.

Many managers rely on authority and control to get the job done. They are directive in their management style and instruct, no matter how enthusiastic or self-starter some members of their team may be. Described conversationally, it’s “I talk, you listen … I direct, and you adhere. “Described attitudinally, it’s I’m the boss and I alone have the authority to decide how things are done. However, no matter how junior or inexperienced your team may be most of us don’t like being bossed around.  Ask yourself if you’d like to be commanded and instructed – fact is most of us including you resent it and the team whom you are managing resent you for doing it.  Authoritative and directive style management stifle creativity, enthusiasm, learning, transition, commitment, morale and the tenacity to stay on is broken.

In today’s world where attention spans are for less than a nano second and with companies expanding and becoming complex, most managers expect the work to be done without actually caring to determine if their team member/s have understood or not.  Many high performing individuals are frustrated because there is no one to listen to them or determine what they actually want. Also, many times authority-based systems are a breeding ground for abuse of power and are prone to creating oppressive work environments.

So what can organizations and individuals do in these kind of situations, where meeting deadlines and targets are important but a manager may not necessarily have time to help a person within their team through a transition. Who can assist you in these kind of situations

9 things your Coach can help you with: Click Link 

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Coach: Why You Must Hire One AND Top 12 Questions to Ask

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With the information overload that we have on a daily basis from Social Media, and the Internet, many times you find it difficult to get to where you want to go.

Let’s say you are a top performing executive in an organization and have consistently surpassed your targets. You have never shirked responsibility nor have you disappointed in your commitments. However, you feel you are reaching a saturation point and are not able to grow. You speak to your boss and he tells you to enroll in a leadership and motivational course. He also sends you some web links to read. You attend the course for 2 days, you read all the links he sent you and add some of them to your other regular reading sources.

Yet, you feel that you are not able to make the progress you want to make. You have tried to tell this again to your boss, Human Resources and other seniors within the organization but to no avail. You don’t want to leave the company but sometimes you feel that is probably the best option available.

On line, group trainings will not be able to help you in your transition because they are not tailor-made to address your individual roadblocks. Most leadership programs are too general to provide opportunities for intensive personalized work.

A Coach is someone who can help you. No, the person doesn’t need to be in your field of expertise.

Coaching is a process to unlock a person’s potential to maximize their own performance. It is essentially a conversation, a dialogue between the coach and the client which focuses on improvement of skills and concrete results.

Steps to take before you hire a coach and the questions to ask…

For the full post click on this LINK

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