Little Things That Matter

Learn From The Past, Live The Present and Have An Open Mind to Face Tomorrow

What Is Your Leadership MOJO?

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Last Saturday, I watched the movie The Monuments Men accidentally. I was under the impression that I had booked for The Wolf of Wall Street and didn’t realize till I walked into the cinema hall and after the movie started, that I had been given tickets to The Monuments Men. I’m glad I made a choice to watch it not so much for the movie but in learning about the Monuments Men.
This movie is based on the true story of the greatest treasure hunt in history, the film is an action drama focusing on an unlikely World War II platoon, tasked by FDR with going into Germany to rescue artistic masterpieces from Nazi thieves and returning them to their rightful owners. In the last year of the war, they tracked, located, and in the years that followed returned more than five million artistic and cultural items stolen by Hitler and the Nazis. But as the Monuments Men, as they were called, found themselves in a race against time to avoid the destruction of 1000 years of culture, they would risk their lives to protect and defend mankind’s greatest achievements.
There is a scene in the movie towards the end where George Stout, given the name of Frank Stokes played by George Clooney is asked whether it was worth the life of a man in his team to save the Madonna of Bruges and he says yes. He is also asked do you think 30 years down the line people will still remember that a man gave up his life to save this piece of art………..?
As that dialogue was going on, it struck me that I have been to so many museums but had never viewed any art from the point of view of someone having risked their life or given up their life to save a particular piece of art. Until yesterday, I was not aware about the history of the Monuments Men and their unprecedented effort in protecting and securing various pieces of art despite extraordinary efforts.
Let’s examine our daily lives….
  • How many times in day-to-day life have you as a leader in an organization or even as a human being taken time and effort to understand the story of your team or coworkers ?
  • Have you challenged yourself not to judge someone by their looks or their behaviors?
  • Have you seemed to explore why people behave the way they do ?
  • In your talent management process

→ Have you found out what drives a candidate to do what they do best?

        → How have they acted during times of pressure and crisis?
        → How did they demonstrate Emotional Balance during periods of adversities?
     → What are the ways they have shown their ability in dealing with new projects or things beyond their comfort zone?
  • Are you willing to challenge yourself on something in your daily life that you have taken for granted or attended to within your comfort zone?
During my readings this week, I came across this Ted Video by Roselinde Torres, who has asked three key questions in determining what makes a great leader
Where Are You Looking To Anticipate Change ?
What is the diversity measure of your network ?
Are you courageous enough to abandon the past ?

The Monuments Men went beyond their comfort zone and risked their lives to retrieve art that was stolen. Whilst our acts may not be that monumental, what we can seek to do with the world we are in is to ask
 
♠ How can I influence someone’s life positively ?
♠ Who will I choose to engage with?
♠ Am I willing to choose the unknowing to create the pathway to the unknown possibilities of the future?
♠ Am I willing to look at things from a fresh perspective ?
We seek to create our own lives by the choices we make and the chances we take. Are you ready to carve your pathway?
Isn’t leadership about seeing the positive potential in others, building trust and rapport, being genuinely interested in others, willingness and drive to help others,  arousing enthusiasm among people and championing a common vision?
For one on one coaching, speaking, training, workshops and speaking please contact me.

The Vulnerability In Relationships

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I was watching some Ted Talk Videos over the weekend and one of them was on The Power Of Vulnerability. 
This got me thinking about relationships. Relationships are made or marred many times on vulnerability.
There have been numerous cases of abuse, bullying, domestic violence and all this is evidence of putting someone in a vulnerable state or taking advantage of them.
Yet, at other times when we are in a crisis, may be stranded on account of bad weather conditions or losing a job in a close down or merger situation, some of the best relationships are formed during such situations. “Vulnerability is the core, the heart, the center, of meaningful human experiences according to Brené Brown in her book How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent and Lead.
Vulnerability here does not mean being submissive or weak. It involves uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure which is well articulated by Brené Browne in her book.
When we see read or hear stories, see videos, hear presentations or empathize with the events in our daily life it is the vulnerability and authenticity which enables us to make that connection. Connection which is an important part of relationships is what gives meaning and purpose to our daily life.
Relationship is about:
1.Respect – you can shine your light but it is not necessary to knock down someone else or dim another’s light. Even if the relationship is not something that you favor, respect is an important element. Respect yourself enough to avoid being taken advantage of. Surround yourself with positivity and compassion for yourself and others.
2.Empathy – the ability to mutually experience the thoughts, emotions, and direct experience of others is an important element in any relationship.
3.Love – the most profound emotion that is an essential part of any relationship.
4.Appreciation – in the world we live today, we forget to appreciate ourselves, our relationships and the moments of life. Appreciation is unconditional and does not contain words like “But”, “However”.
5.Trust – establishing rapport is the start of good relationships. Trust is the pillar of any relationship be it with spouse, parents, siblings, shop keeper, colleagues.
6.Integrity – To me it is the Congruence of I Believe, I Value, I Think, I Feel, I Say, I Do.
7.Obedience – is a matter of the heart. It is about what you feel from within and to be accountable and responsible in a relationship.
8.Nurture – to do and be all that is necessary to grow and enrich the relationship.
9.Space – the little space we allow and create in each of our relationships, be it a friend, spouse, sister, brother or parents, keeps it healthy and allows the relationship to nurture and grow.
10.Honesty – truthfulness, sincerity and frankness in who you are.
11.Interesting – compassion and appreciation for ourselves and others keeps the relationship interesting. Compassion is born of awareness of the choices we are making and the impact of each of these actions on others.
12.Power of Communication – know when to be silent and when to speak up. Not communicating breaks the best of relationships. Conflicts, differences of opinions arise in every relationship. The intent is to disagree agreeably and keep the relationship healthy.  Listening is important to build relationships, because that is where you show empathy and that you truly care.
13.Support – strength in a relationship lies in the support you give to that relationship and that you receive. The ebb and flow of relationship requires mental toughness and support.
Relationship is not about opportunities and using it for those opportunities. Relationships to me means someone with whom you can share your completeness, be it a friend, a life partner, sister, brother, mother or father. A relationship should be one that recognizes you for what you are, challenges you, and allows you to grow.
Let your relationships be one in which you
 
Let yourselves be seen
Practice gratitude and be joyful
Love with your hearts
Are kind and compassionate to yourselves and others
Your willingness to be vulnerable and accept vulnerability establishes and maintains the connection and the authenticity in relationships.
What are some of the ways you have been courageous to be vulnerable and made a connection?
For Individual or Group Coaching, Speaking, Workshops and or Training please connect with Me
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Don’t Take LIFE For Granted

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Photo Credits : Lalita Raman

Photo Credits : Lalita Raman

This is one of the Human Relation Principles of Dale Carnegie.  The simplicity of this statement is complex in itself.  It is one of the most difficult to practice especially when things go wrong, you are experiencing a down and out day, and many moments in your life is filled with chaos, suffering and adversities.
Take for instance, when a customer service doesn’t take action and keeps saying sorry for the inconvenience caused and yet doesn’t show any signs of resolving the issue, most of our reaction is to criticize and get angry. There are many such similar events in our life when our patience is tested and we either complain or criticize.
If you observe, we criticize, condemn or complain not only about others but also ourselves.
How many times have you chided yourself ?
It is good to vent out, to seek improvement but we need to be thankful in life.
Three years back, after finishing my boot camp, whilst getting down some stairs on my way home, I fell down and fractured my ankle. I realized, how much I missed walking normally, how much I used and needed my ankle.  I have had many injuries and accidents and each of these have taught me the importance of that part of the body that I have injured.  Isn’t many aspects of our life, our relationships and the moments in our life similar? Do you take time to appreciate something when you have it or Do you realize the importance of something or someone after you don’t have it?
Life’s path is uncertain and yes we make choices and take chances but no matter how much we plan, not everything goes as per our plans. One way to reduce complaining is not to take life and the little things in life for granted
1. Thank you, please, sorry from the heart are three simple yet effective words. Make a difference by using these words as often as possible in a meaningful way. This applies in real life and on interactions in Social Media.
2. Take count of what you have in life and appreciate that.  Your health, your job, your family, your house and everything life has offered. Remember, there are many people who don’t have many things that you have.
3.  If challenges are what life has thrown at you, learn to see the positivity in those challenges and derive strength brick by brick.
4. If some relationships have turned sour, be thankful of the lessons that it has taught you.  Don’t take your relationships with family or friends for granted. No one is perfect. Communicate, clarify, listen, empathize, apologize because without these no relationship can last.
5. In every pain, sudden loss, and mishaps that occur  as difficult as it may be, learn to appreciate the lessons it has taught you.
Be thankful of every moment and every breath you take. Life lived in negativity, sarcasm and criticism is one of vain and a vicious circle. You can go to the spa, the mountains, the chalets and yet you will not find inner peace. Live in positivity, vent out, let go and make the journey of life your friend and find inner peace.
Extract from Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People “Instead of condemning people, let’s try to understand them. Let’s try to figure out why they do what they do.  That’s a lot more profitable and intriguing than criticism, and it breeds sympathy, tolerance and kindness. “To know is to forgive all”.
As Dr Johnson said : “God himself, sir does not propose to judge man until the end of his days.” Why should you and I ?
Learn to be kind to yourself and others. Live life in compassion and gratitude.

Responsibility Is A Choice

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I was at a lobby of a hotel last week waiting for a business meeting and I happened to hear a rather interesting conversation between a young lady and the guest relations manager of the hotel. As the lady was getting up to see something that the guest relations manager was showing, she collected her belongings at which point the manager mentioned to her, “Ma’am don’t worry about your belongings. They are safe.” The lady smiled, thanked him and said “I understand sir, but I rather be responsible for my belongings and what happens to it instead of entrusting them to someone else.”

Responsibility, I thought, was well-defined by this lady.

Responsibility

→Is having an obligation to do something and doing it. If you are accountable you need to be responsible. Responsibility can be shared but not accountability.

→Is taking care of your thoughts, actions and duties and

→Is answering for your words and actions.

    No matter whether you are at work, walking on the road, at the gym, on holiday or interacting on social media.

Responsibility is a word that equals Respons(e) + (A)bility. Each of us have the ability to make a choice. “A choice” for the response we give to each situation or events that take place in the journey called life.

Choose to take the actions that create the results that you will desire if they were applied on you.

How can we be responsible?

1. Not to shine your own light by dimming someone else’s. This applies to every aspect of your life.

2. For every stimulus, you respond to, you have the power to choose how you want to live your life and behave in every moment in the space that you occupy.

3. You are the only person who is responsible for your thoughts and decisions. Integrity, compassion, empathy, attitude control are important elements of responsibility and it doesn’t matter what role you play in your life. Attitude control is part of your responsibility.

4. When you hire people hold them accountable for their actions or inactions.

5. Do not assume and do not make generalizations and resort to stereotyping.

Life goes on…. And you must take personal responsibility because that is within your control.

“You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself. That is something you have charge of- Jim Rohn.

Rapport – Key To Building Trust

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Rapport is one of the first steps in building trust in a relationship. Talking in terms of other person’s interests, being a good listener and encouraging others to talk about themselves enables us to make that connection to others and build a rapport.

Rapport however is not static.  Even in a trusted relationship rapport is a continuous process.
“Every cell in the body is continuously changing. Thoughts and emotions rise and fall away unceasingly. When we’re thinking that we’re competent or that we’re hopeless — what are we basing it on? On this fleeting moment? On yesterday’s success or failure? We cling to a fixed idea of who we are and it cripples us. Nothing and no one is fixed. Whether the reality of change is a source of freedom for us or a source of horrific anxiety makes a significant difference. Do the days of our lives add up to further suffering or to increased capacity for joy? That’s an important question”. Pema Chodron
Life is a roller coaster and sometimes we struggle with accepting what life throws at us. People and situations are unpredictable and so is every moment that is unpredictable. An essential part of continued rapport is the attitude we take to each moment. We know that change is part of us and everything around us is fleeting and impermanent. Yet we take rapport in the relationships so much for granted. Isn’t rapport essential to continued trust ? How do you build sustained harmony and trust ? Read on from the Archives Do You Value Trust?

How Close Are You To Your “Ideal Self”

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Photo Credits : Lalita Raman

Photo Credits : Lalita Raman

We have our ideal self, the self we want out of life – the motivational core that focuses our hopes, aspirations, dreams, purpose, and calling.

It is our source of positive affect that helps the drive for intentional change. This is the self we want to be.

How many of us are close to our ideal self?

We have our actual self or real self and there is our ought self.

Our ought self is our understanding of what others want us to be and do. Actual self is who we are and what we do. The actual self over time, right from childhood, changes.

What happens when our actual self doesn’t match the ideal self? That is when the process of reflection and retrospection begins.

New Year is a formal step to grow, develop and continue the path of learning and an improvement on our-self versus where we were.Yes, this should be a continuous process but I think New Year is a good time to take stock. A time to ask ourselves how close are we to our ideal self. No, this is not about New Year Resolutions.

So how do we get there? 5 key questions to ask

1. What are you grateful for in life?

Be compassionate to yourself. You don’t need to be perfect. Be grateful for what you have achieved and where you are. Cut yourself some slack and strive towards excellence.

2. What do you need to change ?

Is the change that you feel you need or because others around you want you to change ? How enthused are you to make this change ? How much do you believe in this change ? What is the worst that can happen if you don’t change?

The path of Intentional change is not a linear one. It is about making small improvements and something that is sustainable.

3. Whose support and encouragement do you need?

Whom can you rely on to help you on this path of development and growth? How can you surround yourself with positive people and those who believe in you ?

4. How can you change your thoughts and emotions to be more aware?

Your thoughts dominate your emotions and words. How can you control your thoughts and encourage yourself to be positive on a day-to-day basis?

How can you face fear? What is the worst that can happen? Once you have determined that, ask yourself is there a way to improve from there and how can you get there?

Emotional Intelligence is one of the toughest in times of challenge and adversities. What is the thought or word that will inspire you ?

5. What are you passionate about ? What are you driven to do and how do you get there?

In answering this, it is important to let go. Let go of people who have hurt you, things that quite didn’t work the way you wanted. Forget the excess baggage and de-clutter your mind. Your mind is not a dumping ground. Take a break and lead from your heart.

Our brains are geared for rewards along the way. Reflect, renew and reward yourself. The journey of getting to your ideal self should not be an ordeal but a path of learning, and growing. It should not be filled with regrets and not feel like a burden on your shoulder.

Live more in discovery and less in judgment about yourself and the world around you.

For Coaching, Facilitating and Speaking Connect. About Lalita Raman

Leadership and The Art of Taking On A Challenge

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I go the gym daily and on Sunday I decided to try something different and attended a class called Bosu Blast.
Trying anything new is challenging but this workout was more daunting than I had expected.
As I was trying to balance myself, step in and out of the BOSU ball, I realized that I not only had to maintain my balance but control the right muscles to be able to maintain my stability, use my core, and be quick and coordinated with the music and the rest of the class.   Phew, easier said than done.
I was lost in the first five to seven minutes, especially on some of the moves and to top the discomfort, I lost my balance and twisted my ankle.
At that moment, I decided to control my monkey mind and focus on what I wanted to achieve, learn which muscles I need to control to maintain my balance and yet be agile. Bottom line,  I decided not to be spooked by a ball but believe in myself.
The workout was for an hour and after adopting the attitude of dare, try, observe, learn, I thoroughly enjoyed the last 40 minutes.  No, I was not close to being perfect but I had a good cardio workout, and was ready to challenge myself for the same class next time.
  • Doesn’t life present us with many situations similar to this ?
  • What makes the difference in that moment of choice  and decision?
  • What can we do as leaders in daily life and in our organizations ?
Every time we face a new or uncomfortable situation most of us experience negative thoughts and emotions.
  • Do we buy into our negative thoughts, feelings and emotions?               OR
  • Do we run away from them and avoid them like a barge pole ?              OR
  • Do we recognize those emotions and make a conscious decision to overcome them?

What can you do as a leader?

  1. Structure – an essential discipline in every leader.  You need to believe in yourself. Remember, your team draws on your confidence, ability and strength to lead the organization to its vision.  Structure gives you the boundaries within which you know you have to operate but not necessarily restrict to.
  2. Independent – you need to think independently as to what will work for you, your team and your organization in that moment of choice. Of course you can’t be in the know about everything. Drawing the synergy of the necessary resources is something that should come naturally to you as a leader. Reflect and introspect so that you have your moments of insight to enable you to make sound decisions and judgments.
  3. Collaboration – as a leader you are not expected to know everything. Brainstorming ideas and collaborating with your team, will engage and enable them to use their strengths and talents to work towards the vision.
  4. Creativity – you test your limits in challenging situations. As a leader you need to go out of your comfort zone to grow, develop, welcome changes and face bumps on the road.
  5. Emotional self-awareness and emotional self-control – you need to be mentally strong to manage your thoughts, feelings, emotions and words. Being achievement oriented, having a positive outlook and a strong EI will enable you to reach your vision. As a leader, seek to look at the big picture but at the same time do not forget the short-term steps required to achieve your long-term vision. Have the mental agility and toughness to face uncertainties and learn from your mistakes,
→As a leader, are you ready to influence and inspire by being resilient, empathetic and adaptable?
 
→What are the performance distinguishing competencies that you aspire to develop and achieve as a leader?
 
→How do you seek to influence those whose lives you touch?
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Leadership and Bias

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Encourage Objectivity & Avoid Bias

Encourage Objectivity & Avoid Bias

“She is quiet; she has probably nothing interesting to say”

“Investment bankers are all extroverts and make a lot of money”

“Oh you are Indian; you must have grown up in a caste system.”

“She is successful and has come up the ranks on the fast path. She must have achieved this because she is a flirt and has used her influence”

“A leader is one who manages team and is part of senior management”

 →What do these statements sound like to you?←

Asian/American, Male/Female, Extroverts/introverts, rich/poor, aggressive/meek is the common single story we hear or are categorized into.

You are categorized, stereotyped and generalized and not seen for your uniqueness, for your passions, your interests. Nor do you see others.

Bias creeps in our day-to-day life, and communication. This comes from our culture, our exposure or non-exposure, and our experiences.

♣But the real question is do we get so taken in by others beliefs and by our limited experience that we fail to see the uniqueness of the person in front of us♣

♣Do we fail to see that one person or a group of people don’t represent an entire country or gender?♣

Can Bias be fixed?

“I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the waters to create many ripples.” ~Mother Teresa

There are people around you, in history, famous and not so quite famous who are changing bias and proving it by way of their actions. Some examples of people who fought bias…

Gender Bias – one of the most common biases that exists even in this day and age.

After graduation, Sudha Murthy became the first female engineer hired at India’s largest auto manufacturer TATA Engineering and Locomotive Company or TELCO. Murthy had written a postcard to the company’s Chairman complaining of the “men only” gender bias at TELCO. As a result, she was granted a special interview and hired immediately.

Disability bias – Man who lost his legs as a child scales 19,000ft-high Kilimanjaro by crawling on his HANDS for seven days.

There are many other stories of women and men who have not taken bias in their stride because they chose not to.

Eight Ways as Leaders to Overcome bias

->Ask yourself

  1. Is the issue with the person and how they behave or someone they remind you of?
  2. Does that person remind you of your fears or insecurities which triggers a bias ?
  3. Does this person behave or act in a manner that resembles that of a group that you know?
  4. Does any of the above impact you, your team or their work ?

-> Whenever you are in a moment when you think you will give in to generalizations, pause and reflect

  1. Have I been a victim of bias? What was the experience like?
  2. Would I like to be stereotyped?
  3. What if my creativity and who I am is not given recognition to?
  4. For every wrongful act done by someone from my gender or my country, or my industry would I like to be blamed?

 ->Remind yourself

  • Your mental models frame your thoughts and your thoughts in turn dictate your words. By reframing you create the environment and EI to respond to realities and communicate effectively.
  • Make a choice to step back and not allow spontaneity and your closed mind to create your bias.
  • Take responsibility to look around you, to observe the difference and to recognize that each individual is different in their own way.

As leaders, discover, become aware and deactivate your inappropriate biases. Isn’t leadership about your ability to connect, empathize, communicate and influence those around you by your words and actions ?

Reflective Questions for the Road to Identify and Introspect

As leaders, are you showing the character, the courage and the ability to do the right thing?

Are you happy to maintain your status quo and not challenge the accepted practices and stereotyping?

How are you growing and inculcating the change that you wish to see?

♦What would you like to add to this discussion?♦

Eight Leadership Lessons From Dogs

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Photo : Lalita Raman

Photo : Lalita Raman

I love and admire dogs. I don’t miss a chance, whilst walking, running or hiking, to stop and say hello to the dog and if the owner looks friendly enough, have a word or two with the dog and pet the dog.
I don’t own a dog as yet. I have always wanted to own a dog but not owned one because I feel guilty that I’ll not be able to spend time with my dog. So whilst I do want to own a dog, It has not happened yet.
I love all animals but dogs have a special place in my heart. This post is based on my observations of dogs that I have met in various walks of my life.

There is a lot each of us can learn from dogs. What do they teach us?

1. Speak up – leadership is about being there even when the going gets tough. Why shy away from standing for what is right even if you are the odd one standing?
Dogs never fail to bark to protect their owner and their home. They are not afraid to bark no matter where they are. Even when they make their owner angry they continue to bark to highlight something is wrong.

2. Persistent – leaders may adopt different paths to achieve their vision but they don’t give up on achieving their vision.
Dogs are persistent by nature and if you own a dog you will relate to this. Dogs love the food that we humans eat and they try different ways to get the food they desire. Though they may not succeed they try different options and never give up.

3. Empathy– good leaders empathize in the way they communicate, understand and the way they connect. I believe, there is no better creature on this earth than a dog who knows exactly how to empathize with you.Your dog knows when you are down and out, angry, upset, or happy. They are there with you through your emotions understanding perfectly well what you are going through. Their facial expressions and body language conveys it all.

4. Friend – leaders are friends in the way they connect, understand, encourage, communicate, challenge and the way they relate to you.
Dogs are true friends. Dogs show you that to have a friend, be one. They stand by you through thick and thin and never leave your side.

5. Trust– leaders build trust in the way they communicate and behave.
Dogs will always smell to get their comfort level. Once they are comfortable they build trust and lend their heartwarming friendship.

6. Opportunity – leaders see and make use of every opportunity. They give their heart and soul in whatever they do.
Dogs don’t miss opportunities to get what they want, be it food or getting on to a couch. Dogs give their heart and soul as duty dogs, as a guide, looking after children and in everything they are.

7. Attitude – life has many challenges and for leaders it is no different. As a good leader you know that your attitude is your greatest asset.
Choosing the right attitude is something we can learn from dogs. The hope and positivity with which they welcome each moment is something I have always been amazed about dogs. They live each day with unbridled exuberance and joy even in the face of adversity.

8. Uninhibited Courage– Leaders lead with uninhibited courage and by doing so they show their purpose is resolute and deep.
You have heard, read or witnessed many a dog which have saved their owner’s life or a child’s life. Dogs are loyal and they don’t deter in showing their courage or living up to a challenge.

Dogs are adorable, courageous and they make you feel good. They believe in you and make you feel great. A dog truly makes their owner feel that they are the best in the world. They are a living example of unconditional love and kindness.

Isn’t this what qualities of a good leader in life and in organizations should be?
What do you think we can learn from our friends, The Dog?

For Coaching, Facilitating and Speaking Connect. About Lalita Raman

How To LOSE IN LEADERSHIP?

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I was at my friend’s place last week for dinner. She has 2 kids, a son and daughter. We were chatting and in the midst of a discussion, her daughter Nikita, comes up to her Dad and reminds him that it is her time to play chess with him.  Despite being told that he will play with her later, she insists.  He consents and tells her that she will play the game without playing any pranks.  Nikita is a junior chess champion at  a State level for girls under 10 years. Her dad, although not a champion has always been an expert in chess. We were watching them play and Nikita suddenly turned to her mom and asked her a question on what she should do.  I also noticed that she didn’t just ask for a solution but explained what her strategy was and consulted her mother on which option she should choose as the next step.
John was having some morale issues among his team. He had 5 direct reports though he was responsible for a team of fifty. He decided he will conduct a survey to determine the engagement and satisfaction among his team. At the end of one month, the time period given for completing the survey, only fifteen of his team members had responded and that too those that he had coaxed into responding. Based on the results of fifteen members who took the survey, John concluded that he was not the reason for the low morale issue.
What do these two different individuals teach you ? Nikita teaches you to lose like a leader. John is an example of how with his title, is self-centered, egoistic and supports his own press.
Leadership is not always about winning or about titles or elevated status. As leaders you can lose, and yet inspire your followers and have respect
Five Behaviors To Lose As A Leader
  1. Your control and micromanagement – if instead of managing teams you micromanage by refusing to delegate leads to mistrust and low morale. You don’t allow people to grow and develop and utilize their talents.
  2. Fear – as a leader you don’t need to know all the answers. Lose your fear of asking questions and finding out from people who may be experts or have the knowledge. Nikita consulted her mom when she was unsure about the next move she should choose to achieve her strategy.
  3. Manipulation – you don’t necessarily become a leader by occupying a position of a leader in an organization You have to earn the respect and trust of your team or people whom you work with. Without appreciating your team, empathizing with their views, needs or alternate views, your team can get disengaged. John didn’t want to take responsibility for the low morale among his team members. He tried to force some of his team members to fill the survey and get the results he desired. He shut out the truth.
  4. Withholding information – you cannot gain trust by revealing and sharing information that suits you. Self-serving behavior is a slippery slope and a prelude to an organization’s failure.
  5. Bad attitude – You can lose your ego and be humble. Humility will make you likable and earn the respect of your team. Whilst as a leader you are not expected to know everything, you need to keep abreast of the developments. You have to be credible.

As leaders, you would do well in losing your ego, arrogance, need to demand respect and be liked.

As you scale up the path in an organization or in your business as a leader and part of senior management, it probably gets lonely at the top. The responsibility that many leaders feel for their team and people creates a fear of failure and possibly a lack of Executive Presence. Many leaders get overwhelmed and start denying reality.
Life at work or in an organization has challenges that sometimes feels as if it saps the energy out of you. There are a wide range of emotions that you will experience and confront as a leader.  However as a leader, why fear in seeking help to get on a path of personal development and avoiding the pitfalls and letting your inner gremlin bewilder you?  A coach or mentor can assist you in the shift you want to make in your professional development and growth.
Reflective Questions
1. As a leader are you known for your integrity?
2. Why do you want to lead? What does leadership mean to you?
3. What have you learned from losing?
For Coaching, Facilitating and Speaking Connect.  About Lalita Raman
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