Little Things That Matter

Learn From The Past, Live The Present and Have An Open Mind to Face Tomorrow

Character, the decisive factor in the life of a leader

By 6 Comments

Life throws many challenges, she pushes you, propels you and prods you. How you behave, act and live through each of these challenges is your choice. Your character is who you are in these moments of choice.

We have good days and bad days. Good days give you joy, and bad days tests you, teaches you and how you deal with it makes you who you are. Your character is tested and revealed the most during adversities.

What are the key elements of Character ?

1. Commitment – how dedicated are you to who you are and what you seek to do? Words are necessary but actions provide the power and prove who you are and the important link between the two is Commitment. How would you feel, when someone who borrowed your book fails to return within the promised time? In every aspect of life, you need to walk and live your talk. Your thoughts, audio and video needs to be in sync.

2. Honesty – A journey within, to follow the inner voice that has both gentleness and clarity and helps you find who you really are. We need to be bold and courageous to follow this inner journey, to face who we are, what we are capable of, what we are uncomfortable with and be true and honest to the inner core. How authentic are you? Authenticity is not only being true to oneself, being yourself or “walking your talk” but also how you feel about yourself. Authenticity is when you are comfortable in your skin and also connecting with others without any hypocrisies.

3. Attitude – I find it rather strange that on Twitter, many choose to say thank you immediately if a mention or a Retweet has been made by someone who has more than 30,000 followers. Till then the person who has done a RT and Mention is completely ignored. This to me reveals the attitude of the person and a true display of their character. You reveal your character in how you choose to treat someone who can’t do anything for you. Your attitude is what you choose and something you have complete control of.

4. Respect – one of the values I was taught as a child is to give respect and then take. Respect not only those who are rich and famous but a waiter in a restaurant or a person who cleans the public toilets. Imagine if the public toilets in the airports weren’t cleaned or the trash wasn’t cleared. Would you like to do that job ? Respect a person irrespective of status or titles.

5. Abilities – your ability is in not how high your IQ is but depends to a great extent on your EI when you deal with others.

6. Courage – how often have you stepped out of your comfort zone and tried to be who you are or who you wanted to be? How many times have you approached your daily life with courage? I drive a lot of inspiration from reading or seeing or knowing people, who, despite their physical limitations, have ventured to climb Mountain Kilimanjaro or have engaged in similar activities.

7. Trust – no journey or relation begins without Trust. Your behavior, your act and your own inner journey should enable reliance to be placed on your integrity, strength, ability and who you are.

8. Empathy– how well are you able to identify with another’s situation, feelings and emotions? Do you like to take center stage by talking more than listening? Do you listen to understand or respond? The best gift you can give someone is your attention and empathy. How you empathize reveals your character?

9. Righteousness – doing the right thing at all times and in all circumstances whether or not anyone is watching or observing you. Does the end justify the means for you and do you allow the end to dominate your behavior? Do you listen to your inner voice or go by the herd mentality in situations of dilemma?

Inward change begins when you evaluate and reflect on your strengths, your blind spots and attitudes. You can be a leader when you look in the mirror and make changes you need to make. Leadership is not about titles or occupying a big position in an organization. It begins with small things in day-to-day life be it in how you respond to abuse on the street, how you behave in a crowd when you see something blatantly wrong, how you respond to someone who may not be able to do anything for you in your life and who you are when you feel your life is in the trenches.

-How are you revealing your character on a daily basis ?
-Are you humble in your acts and who you are ?
-Does leadership mean only occupying a title and position within an organization?
-How are you influencing those lives whom you touch on a daily basis ?

Does Your Behavior Reflect Who You Are or Desire To Be?

By 4 Comments

 

→ How often are you inspired by a person whom you meet or read or hear about? → What is it about them that makes you listen or to follow what they are doing or learn a lesson or two from them?

A friend of mine, Carole called me last week saying she wanted to meet me. Carole is one of the most cheerful person I know and on that call she sounded hassled, frustrated and dejected.

I know she had suffered a huge financial loss recently having trusted someone she thought was a friend. The trust that she had placed on this person was misused, mishandled and every aspect of her belief and friendship was broken. I had learnt from her that she was making efforts to get her money back and the process had been none too easy.

When I met her that day, she shared with me her experience with a person whom she had met with regard to getting her money back.

This person whom she met is wealthy, well-connected and this is a known fact among most people in the city we live. Now you would think, this person would have some class and it is not necessary for him to be boastful about his wealth, his connections, number of times he has had an expensive dinner and how influential he is.

However, listening to her narrate the details of the meeting with this person, I started wondering

♦ If this person knew what self-worth was?
♦ Did he feel comfortable in his own skin?
♦ Why did he not allow his act to prove who he was?
♦Did he think that the only way to impress was to rant about his wealth and his connections?
♦ What did success mean to him?
♦ Why the desperation to prove who he is?

His behavior indicated a great sense of insecurity.

I place my value in the character of a person in the way they act and behave and not on the display of their wealth, connections and their titles. I realized why my friend sounded so exasperated when she called on me.

♠ Key Reflections ♠

→ Do you let your actions impress or your talk?
→ Have you paid attention to your talk to listen ratio ?
→ Is it possible for you to win someone’s heart by a smile, by being there to listen and being authentic and human
→ Do you spare a moment to think about moments when you were in a vulnerable position and had self doubts? What did you want amidst those challenges?

Interestingly, he had mentioned to my friend that he was doing this in the interest of goodwill. However, listening to my friend narrate the conversation with this gentleman, I didn’t see any such indications in his behavior.

I wonder if people like him ever ask of their behavior

→ Am I being true to myself?
→ Why do I do what I do?
→ Is inflating my ego more important than being human?

Leadership is not about titles or display of wealth or your power and control. People come and go, titles and other add-ons are short-lived. However, a person is remembered for their character and the way they choose to behave. Our test of character is in the most vulnerable moments and the choice is entirely ours to make. Awareness is an important ingredient to act in character. Awareness not only about self but others and empathizing with the situation is imperative in any form of communication.

♣ Key Reflective Question ♣

How would you want to be remembered ? Someone who just boasted about their connections, titles, and their power or someone who inspired others, helped people along the way, get alongside them because you cared.

Image Source

Values Are Like Fingerprints… Are You Leading With Your Values?

By 5 Comments

Lalita Raman

Lalita Raman

It is Friday evening and you are looking forward to your long overdue vacation. You are working on the final touches of your proposal to get a new line of business approved. The proposal is almost ready barring some details on some legal challenges that you are awaiting from your legal department. You receive the legal opinion and when you read it, you realize that a key element is missing. Not considering this aspect might hurt the franchise of the business in the future. The only person aware about this is you and none else.
What would you do?
Would you rather let it go because you’ll never be found out or blamed or would you listen to your inner voice which tells you how important it is to highlight this specific legal risk.
What is this inner voice that whispers to you at various moments in your day and life. A whisper to the effect “There is no way you can do that. it’s not right”.

Each of us have core values whether we realize it or not. Core values is what is imbibed in us from the day we are born. Some values we instill in us as we are growing. Values sit within our memory and are deep-rooted. They are not written anywhere but are those which we live through our behavior and actions.

Values are like fingerprints. Nobody’s are the same, but you leave ‘em all over everything you do. ~Elvis Presley

You are your personal brand. Personal brand is not just about you being a CEO or CFO or Fashion designer but it is what you are in what you do and how you choose to show your values in your career and the various roles you perform.

Key questions on Values – For the full post refer LINK

Are You Living Your Authenticity?

By 6 Comments

Lalita Raman

In this age of information and technology overload, there are many times each of us possibly feel that we are on a hamster wheel, one that we are unable to get off. We try to copy others who we think are a role model of our definition of success. We go to spas, movies and seek various avenues to run away into this so-called fantasy land.

What do we need most at this juncture?

A journey within, to follow the inner voice that has both gentleness and clarity and helps you find who you really are.  We need to be bold and courageous to follow this inner journey, to face who we are, what we are capable of, what we are uncomfortable with and be true and honest to the inner core.

When you go through adversity in your life, your real character is tested. Authenticity is who you are, how you relate to others, discovering your talents, your own energies and passions. Being who you are is when your audio, video and thoughts are all in sync. There is no mask or different strokes for different people.

I believe that authenticity doesn’t come from status, titles, qualifications, or the amount that you have in your bank account but 
authenticity is:

  • 
to Know
  • to Be 

  • to Accept
  • 
to Create

                     Yourself

Keys To Authenticity

1. Self awareness – knowing who you are and being you and finding contentment and fulfillment in that. It also relates to how you relate to others and the way they see you. If you truly know yourself, and project yourself in the same way, others perception of you will be the same as what you know “you” to be.

2. Talents – find out what you are capable of, passionate about, and what appeals to you. Discover your talents and develop them.

3. Lead with your soul – you’ll make an impact on others only if you empower yourself to lead with your soul, your inner voice and accept who you are. Your inner drive is the one that will steer you through doubts, fears and negative energy.

Throughout our life we need to question our beliefs, learnings, see around us and listen to the reality that surrounds us.

There is no point doing yoga or meditation or charity and considering yourself authentic, if you don’t know how to be courteous to your neighbor, your surroundings and respect the living space around you.

Have you asked these questions of yourself ?
1. What would you like to do?
2. When you like what you do, what does that mean to you ?
3. When you don’t have what you like what does that mean to you ?
4. Do you have passion and enthusiasm in doing what you are doing?
5. Do you have the talents and skills to do what you love doing? Are you willing to develop those talents once you have discovered them

Titles Don’t Matter-10 Keys To “Good For Soul”

By 2 Comments

“The simple act of paying positive attention to people has a great deal to do with productivity” Tom Peters

Have you met Jerry ?

1. I’m always right. I don’t care what it takes or how much work it is. This is the way I see it and no matter what, make it happen in the next hour.Have you met Jerry?

2. Your behavior at or outside work or in Social media is one of “A Narcissist”.

3. You think you know it all and never have an open mind to learn.

4. You’ve decided with senior management that your team targets are going to increase by 30% and promised to over deliver. You have not bothered to consult your team?

5. You think you never make mistakes and don’t ever bother asking others how are you?

6. You are good at striking conversations with strangers but every relationship is one to hook, use and trash.

7. You are convinced that you are the most intellectual and anyone who challenges your line of thinking is made to shut up. You alienate whoever questions you.

8. You think you are reminding people of their accountability and responsibility when all you do is to humiliate them with your sarcasm.

9. You are part of the system and you have never made any effort to be different or change and yet you criticize all, day in day out.

10. You think you are unique and God’s gift to the Universe, though all you are is a jerk. You think none of the above applies to you.

How many of you have had this individual either at your work place or among your acquaintances? 

How many times do people in influential positions misuse the same by bullying and belittling either their team and their social circle ? 

How many people just because of the position they are in think they can demand respect ? 

Whilst there is nothing wrong in being direct and honest, by no means the delivery of the statements or the tone in which it is delivered needs to be rude or sarcastic. People skills is one about being able to connect, engage and treat others with respect and empathy.

What are the keys to People Skills?

1. Be a friend before expecting others to be friendly

2. That either we control our attitude or it controls us. Choose the right one

3. We are a result of our choices and we need to deal with the choices we have made. Negativity and emotional trauma arises when we get into the blaming game for all our misfortunes

4. We do get angry, recognize it, overcome it and do not use anger to be cruel

5. We need to value ourselves and should not allow ourselves to be trampled on. But valuing yourself doesn’t mean insulting others

6. Each of us have our own strengths and we should build and use them to lead with integrity, trust and character

7. Each of us have our own weaknesses and we should marginalize our limitations to move forward

8. That we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel

9. We are human and love to be acknowledged, encouraged and appreciated. Being an introvert or shy is no excuse for not telling someone ‘You Matter’

10. None of us are perfect and can teach and learn something each day

Each of us have our purpose. Just because you are the boss, you have no right to stomp on others feelings and values. As far as people like Jerry are concerned one can attempt to unlock the barriers of communication that may exist or be a friend to listen.

Titles don’t determine your value. In the end, you need to remember just because you think you are successful, you have no right to put out someone else’s light and efforts.

Life is a journey of roller coasters and challenges you to be the best YOU can be. Each challenge, be it big or small, is an opportunity for you to make the choice to shift your perspective and view it through the eyes of positivity and hope.

Character is higher than intellect. A great soul will be strong to live as well as think. Ralph Waldo Emerson 

Image Source

Commitment : Top 15 Questions You Need to Ask Yourself

By Leave a Comment

“What we speak becomes the house we live in.”-Hafez.

Remember you are only as good as your word and actions that match your word. Failing to keep your commitments is an indication that you don’t care about your vision, or word, your client, their time, and the outcomes.

Questions you need to ask yourself when your actions are not in sync with your word are:

  1. Do you have a clear goal and vision
  2. Are you trying to pursue one too many goals or things to do at the same time
  3. Are you trying to get some brownie points by agreeing to do something but have no real intention of doing it
  4. Are you trying to avoid a situation of open communication and dealing with the situation
  5. Have you prioritized your goals or list of activities…..?

For the Full Post, please click on the following link

Image Source

Do You Value Trust?

By Leave a Comment

I’m not upset that you lied to me, I’m upset that from now on I can’t believe you.” ― Friedrich Nietzsche.

Did you know that Trust is an important part of every fraction of a second of our lives,  in all we do and in the way we conduct ourselves. And yet many a time we undermine the value of Trust and may take it for granted.

A strong foundation of any human relationship is based on Trust. Without Trust, life becomes lonely. Trust is what allows us to have meaningful relationships with other people. Trust is knowing that you will do the same thing irrespective of whether someone is looking at you or not.

When one is Trusted there is a feeling of belonging, safety, and it appeals to the soul. Once the Trust is broken, I believe it is worse than fixing a broken mirror, because the relationship never comes back to the sanctity it originally carried.

Do we really use Trust in every walk of our life?

1. Child & Parent – When a child first learns to climb up and decides to take  a leap from the chair or table confidently into the hands of his/her Mother’s or father’s extended hands, there is immense trust in that act.

2. Spouse – no marriage can last unless there is Trust between the husband and wife.

3. Friend – when you Trust a person as a friend, and you confide in that person you trust that this friend will not harm you or hurt you or tease you or misuse the information you have shared. Good friendship is based on trust, respect and love.  Friendship will crumble once the trust breaks.

4. Siblings –  Trust is imperative to a good relationship between siblings.

5. Life – Have you realized that when you hire a taxi, you trust the taxi driver to take you to your destination, charge no more than the fare indicated by the taxi meter and at the end of the journey, you trust the driver to return the change. Trust is what it takes when you open a bank account, when you walk into a shop to buy something, or  eat at a Restaurant.

6. Start-ups – As a Start-up Entrepreneur you face a tough time to convince people of your vision,not because you don’t have an appetite for hard work. But as a Startup, there is a deficit of Trust. It takes time to earn the same and these days it is probably even more difficult because there are one too many who take you for a ride.

7. Trust Yourself – If you don’t then no one else will. You are your best friend and need to believe in yourself.

How does Trust help? 

1. At the work place – When I’m trusted, I’m motivated to do even better and take on new challenges and explore the path not taken.

2. Trust builds loyalty without bonds in day-to-day life.

3. Trust is about authenticity and  helps to build a rapport.

4. Trust is about reliability and consistency and walking that path in every walk of life.

Life continually evolves. We’re constantly moving into new experiences, new possibilities. Life is a flux and the solace we find is the Trust we place on our relationships and that placed on us.

Life becomes joyful when we remain open to the constant flow and ride freely with it. We thus need to learn to Trust.

What does Trust mean to you?  Please share your views in the comments section. Thank you

Image Source

9 Essentials To Integrity

By Leave a Comment

Source

When we are born, most of us are given a suitcase full of standards, acceptable behavior, things to learn, emotions, values & a whole load of do’s and don’ts. As we grow and progress in life we keep adding or throwing away some contents of this suitcase. Each of us thus become a product of the choices we have made or that we have consciously decided not to make.

In my case, when I was growing up, one of the principles in my house was that we had to tell the truth and that was one of the standards set as part of my suitcase. Lying, was something that was not acceptable no matter how painful it may be to speak the truth.

Children need rules to learn the difference between right and wrong. To a child, the difference between truth and lies is as crystal clear as the difference between black and white. However as we grow older, the concept of truth many times attains a different connotation and stating a small white lie or not stating some key facts might be considered appropriate in our own minds.

However, the problem is that each of us have different standards on why, what, when, and how we choose to state the truth or shade it.  Integrity thus is sacrificed many times, though each human being may consider it as part of their integral values.

What is Integrity – To me it is the Congruence of I Believe, I Value, I Think, I Feel, I Say, I Do.

Source

I N T E G R I T Y is:

Inner realization– There is a self-awareness of each of our actions and these actions are not just to please the outside world but one which satisfies our inner conscience.

Natural – To be You rather than someone else artificial and manufactured and be comfortable in your own skin. I stay true to myself and my style & I am always pushing myself to be aware of that & be original.

Trust– can be built and earned only if our audio and video is in sync. We have to walk the talk rather than talk the talk. Trust is a plant of slow growth and built over time by being consistent and reliable.

Excellent – Be outstanding in whatever  you do. Setting standards in all we do and consistently following these standards.

Good– Be Kind, show gratitude and spread the good word and deed.

Respect- The measure of a man’s real character is what he would do if he knew he never would be found out. It is better to be respected than liked

Involvement – Let your Actions speak louder than words and be inspiring. Each of us must lead by example.

Thoughtful– Treat everyone just like the way you would like to be treated.

Yes to each of the above

It is important to nurture and maintain integrity in whatever we seek to believe, value, think, be, and do just like when you make the decision to plant a new seed and water it daily and take care even after the seed grows to a plant

Bottom-line Integrity once lost or compromised beyond recognition is very difficult to rebuild.

What does Integrity Mean to You. Please feel free to add your point of view in the comments section below. Thank you.

Source