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7 Elements of Empathy

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You have had a down and out day and the events of the day are still unfolding and the people you have come across during some of those vulnerable moments makes you feel that the world can be a punishing place. You feel unsafe to expose your feelings to others during some of those moments.

You almost feel you are falling apart, and you need your feelings to be met with love,  understanding and acceptance without judgement.

What are you looking for in such an impasse ?

Isn’t that Empathy?

Empathy is the ability of putting oneself into the mental shoes of another person to mirror connect and understand the emotions and feelings (joy or sadness)  experienced by that person at that moment in time.

Empathy involves 7 elements in my view

1. Emotional intelligence is the cognitive ability involving traits and social skills that facilitate interpersonal behavior. It involves understanding emotions including non verbal signals, body language and facial expressions. Responding appropriately to the emotions of others is key to facilitating insight.

2. Mindset – Staying human and having the right attitude to connect to another person at that moment when they need you the most.

3. Present – You are present and in the now.  It is not about the past or future but being aware about another person’s feeling at that moment.

4. Attention – Demonstrate your interest in the person through your body language, facial expression, and gestures to encourage someone to continue speaking. “Give whatever you are doing and whoever you are with the gift of your attention” ~Jim Rohn

5. To Listen – You listen to understand rather than respond.  Sometimes, in order to elicit more of a response from the other party, you need to pause and say nothing.

6. Help Encourage – Use supportive comments to get someone to continue to open up. Gestures like nodding your head, appropriate facial expressions, eye contact can accompany, “I see,” “Really,” or “Oh no” to provide the necessary encouragement for the person to continue to release the emotional turmoil they are going through.

7. You Recognize Feelings:  Feelings reveal critical aspects of what is important to a person.  Identifying an impasse by Saying, “I see that you are angry” or “I am sorry but something seems to be upsetting you,” are ways you can bring someone’s feelings out into the open.

In Summary, by empathizing you show that you care, you are listening and you are concerned of the other person’s ideas, feelings and how it has impacted the other’s perception.

Do you have any experiences to share or  views on what you think is Empathy?  Please feel free to comment. Thank you.

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How To Listen – 7 Simple Tips

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“You have to learn to listen and listen to learn” ~unknown

I was with a friend of mine, the other day, having a cup of coffee and when she asked me about my travel plans for the year, I started talking to her about some of my immediate travel plans. I suddenly realized she wasn’t paying attention. She was busy looking at her iPhone, typing away on Twitter. Though she kept an occasional eye contact with me, her mind was elsewhere. She was hearing but not listening.

We often face such situations in our daily life amongst friends, family and also at the work place in meetings and casual conversations.

One of the key elements of Communication  is to listen attentively so as to give expanding space for the talker’s expression and whenever possible validate the meaning conveyed by the talker. The act of not listening indicates a complete disinterest in and lack of focus in what the talker believes to be important.

Key in listening is “Give out what you most want to come back.”

 ― Robin S. Sharma, The Greatness Guide: Powerful Secrets for Getting to World Class 

As a follow-up to my earlier post on “The Art of Listening, following are some of the tips that I use to be an effective listener.

1. Body language – When I’m sitting across listening to a person, I must listen with not only my ears but also 

my eyes and heart.  It is important to listen not only to the words but also the tone of the voice.  This will enable us to listen to the Why and not just the What. Listening with the eyes by observing the body language of the talker and listening with the heart to feel and empathize with the talker is necessary to make the connection.  Till you listen to the emotions that the other party is displaying, you cannot empathize.

2. Listen to understand – most of us listen to respond rather than to understand. Any conversation should facilitate leaving more than enough space and time for the other party to think, feel, formulate ideas, elaborate and discover a complete expression of his or her concerns or point of view.

3. Paraphrase – this is one of my favorites. Paraphrasing helps to demonstrate that you have heard what was said and also indicates that you are interested.  Paraphrasing can be done by way of questions or statements, depending on the situation. I find asking questions such as ” would you mind clarifying what you mean by that” or ” what could be your next step” useful.  Some of these questions helps to create the trust and holding environment in that relationship.

4. Silence – Attentive welcoming vacuum or silence.  Listening is not all about complete silence but using the

latter to provide a larger receptacle for the talker to unload, model and remodel volunteered personal thoughts, feelings and motivations.  The latter works well not only in coaching and counseling sessions but also in any situation of emotional outbursts.

5. Listen without filters and judgement –  many times when we are in a conversation many of us meander

away in our own thoughts and go on a journey of our own experiences.  I can only understand if I listen attentively without filtering through an intellectual, conceptual, emotional, personal, technical framework.

6. Listening and Looking – Making an eye contact is an integral part of any conversation.  There is absolutely

no point in engaging someone in a conversation if you are not going to be present both physically and mentally.  I have seen many people, instead of making an eye contact during a conversation, scanning the surroundings or the room to determine if they know someone else. The kind of attitude displayed during a conversation is again a key element of listening.

 7. Email communication – you may be wondering what has email got to do with listening. Have you been in situations where you have sent an email to someone and have been waiting for a response. In today’s world where communication has taken so many forms, I believe that for any relevant email that each of us receive, it is a courtesy to reply to that email immediately or at the bare minimum acknowledge, so that the sender knows that he or she has got your attention.

You don’t need to be leader to be an effective listener. Any human being who wants to be listened to will give another the same chance.

Would you like to add any other points to How To Listen Effectively. Please share in the Comments Section below. Thank you.

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Do You Communicate?

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Think Twice before you speak because words carry a lot of power and will plant and influence the seed of success or failure or hurt and anger in the mind of another.

Communication is an essential ingredient in any relationship. Communication involves interest, curiosity, enthusiasm, support, values, needs, aspirations, problems and solutions.

We live in an age where we spend more time on Facebook, Twitter and other forms of Social Media and don’t even make eye contact while talking face to face with a person sitting across us because the so-called conversing on social media is more important.  We are in an age where we have conquered the highest of mountains but have to master ourselves. We have fuller minds but emptier lives.

We believe in answering a ‘How Are You’ with ‘I am Busy’. We have become more of A ‘Human Doing’ than being A ‘Human Being’.

In spite of more modes of communication we find interpersonal communication a tricky thing to manage.

So how can we improve the lives around us?  By communicating better, from the heart and making a connection with the other, by empathizing, by trusting and listening.

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1. Recognition – One of the insatiable needs of every human being is to be recognized, appreciated and cherished and made to feel that They Matter.  No matter who you are and how wealthy or famous you may be, to convey that you appreciate the other person’s perspective and acknowledge the worthiness of the other person by valuing their issues and feelings is imperative.  Day-to-day it is important to show appreciation for the efforts and actions of people with whom you are in touch with at work or in daily life. The tone used cannot be condescending and there should be sincerity in the way it is communicated.

Lolly Daskal (@lollydaskal) conducts a #leadfromwithin chat session every Tuesday at 8pm EST.  What I like most about this chat is the genuineness with which Lolly recognizes each of the participants, either by RT what they have said or thanking them.  Actions speak louder than words and she is a living example of what she believes in and professes.

2. Cross Cultural Communication –  for those who live in cosmopolitan cities or work in multinational organizations we meet and interact with people from cross cultures. Inability to recognize the cross cultural traits will result in ‘Lost In Translation’.  Many a message may be distorted through the communication process, such that even an intended compliment might even turn into an unintentional insult.

Some examples that I have heard, seen or read

* A British boy studying the language in Germany was riding the school bus home. As it was summer the bus became really hot. In a typically British way of asking for the window to be opened he implied it rather that clearly stated it so asked the boy next to him, ‘Bist du heiss?’ (Are you hot?). The boy turned and looked with a startled expression. All the other passengers started to giggle. In the end someone explained he had asked his fellow passenger if he ‘felt hot’ – i.e. was feeling passionate.

* A friend of mine had just opened his restaurant and being a chef himself, he had cooked a rather exquisite Duck dish as part of the main course of A Set Dinner menu.  All his waiters were Chinese and when the dish was ready, he asked his waiters to serve the respective tables. However soon after he had this dish returned by every table. He was rather dumbstruck only to realize soon that the way the waiters had pronounced Duck sounded like Dog.

* In Asia, it is quite common to hear people saying you are very hardworking and it is meant to be a compliment. However when a European friend of mine had just moved to Asia she was very hurt when someone remarked  ‘Jenn you are very hardworking’,  I later learnt that hardworking meant – ‘habitually working diligently and for long hours’.  Though diligently is a compliment, working long hours may not necessarily be taken as a compliment by all since it may indicate inefficiency.

It is important to present your message in a hopeful, non-judgemental, open-ended way and point to common-ground and away from differences

3. Distancing in relationships – Communication can make or mar relationships.  The little space we allow and create in relationships prevents excessive familiarity and allows breathing room within the relationship.

I enjoy meeting people from different walks of life,  making new friends and cherishing old ones.  I connect with people, friends, colleagues, family,  with enthusiasm, trust and affection.  A lot of my relationships have changed my perspective to life, and many others have inspired me to approach life with a different twist.

Each of our relationships go through highs and lows. Communication here is not about talking all the time. It is important to give and  it is equally important to know when to pull back, be it between spouses, friends, parents or in any other relationship.

Giving space in a relationship is important to nurture relationships.  In my experience, the other person actually seeks you out if he or she really cares and it is important to let yourself be missed and to miss.

Space sometimes creates a vacuum in life. It’s when relationships cross the realm of this vacuum that they fuse back together.

4. Paraphrasing – In formal communications especially in meetings or  presentations, it is important to make the content interesting and riveting. Your clarity will help you stay on track and also keep your audience’s attention. Also, decide on only one point to convey. If you try to cram in several points or messages, you run the risk of over complicating your story and diluting its power.

I was having a chat with a friend of mine yesterday on Twitter and she made a very apt comment on the art of communication ” Bad Communication makes minutes seem like ages.”

Paraphrasing in meetings or in a conversation helps

– to show the other person you have been listening to what they are saying
– to check meaning and interpretation

5. Non verbal communication – to be aware of how your own non verbal behaviors like body language, eye expression or facial expressions may impact or facilitate the communication. It is necessary to

– be aware of the message your body language can convey
– have an open posture
– match eye contact. I find people who don’t make eye contact whilst talking to me very offensive and as if they are trying to hide facts.
– match pacing, use silence

In conclusion, Effective communication skills are a function of our interpersonal effectiveness.  Some of these interpersonal skills include Authenticity, Empathy, Unconditional support, Insight (perceive, understand and relate), curiosity, Listening, courage and willingness to offer feedback, ability to confront others without insulting.

What do you think. Are there any essential elements of communication that you would like to add ? Please share in the comments box. Thank you.

Twelve Ways to Inspire Yourself When You Are Feeling Down & Out

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“None but ourselves can free our minds.” ― Bob Marley

In our life today we face an enduring issue of one too many negative things and few positives. Right from newspapers, TV and other forms of media be it political, economic, or social there is a lot of negative incidents, news, events, mishaps. On top of this if you are having an out of sorts day, it is difficult to keep the positive momentum because we could be so imprisoned by our state of mind, that we forget to step back and look at things with a fresh perspective.

There is a confusion of values among the youth which is aggravated by the wrong portrayal of fame and success that mass media and social media often tend to reflect. There seems to be an  increasing number of people who are beginning to feel negative in their outlook.

I met a woman entrepreneur the other day who seemed dejected and felt that she was being attacked by stress and negative emotions.  When she told me her story, the positive takeaways for me were that she had determination, passion and love for what she did and had managed to grow her revenues by 20% and most important she had touched the hearts of many a tourist and child through her works of art.

This woman runs her own business of arts and crafts and supplies to museums, souvenir shops, gift shops and several private establishments. Today she is at a stage where she wants to expand and grow and is making efforts to achieve that. But she is overwhelmed by her negative thoughts, apprehensions and feels her life is out of control.

She is however not alone.   In reality, she may just be a cynic and not a negative personality. But the forlornness of the big cities, where youngsters follow their dreams and passion becomes the breeding ground for negativism and depression to flourish.

Statements like I’m no good at writing, or I am a born loser or I can never get any job done on time are self-fulfilling and ultimately strangle the personality they feed on.

We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think.  The amygdala is most commonly associated with our emotions of fear and anxiety.  Negative thoughts trigger  electro-chemicals in our brains which in turn triggers our decisions and behavior. The more we keep getting such negative thoughts, the more our brain keeps getting hardwired to being receptive to such thoughts.

It is important to recognize these negative emotions but not allow them to control us. Here are 12 simple ways to break away from the Negative Emotional attractor

1. Reframe the Negative statements that you keep telling yourself. For e.g. Instead of saying I’m no good at writing, may be change your thought or statement to “I need to hone my writing skills and I’m working on it.”  I find positive self talk to be a great motivator.

2. Express gratitude. Make a conscious effort to do a kind deed.

3. Encourage someone. Make them realize that they matter and what they do matters.

4. Exercise – I find that exercise triggers the endorphins and releases the stress and flushes out the negative thoughts.

5. Focus on things within your control and things you are good at.  Feel good at doing those things first and then move on to new challenges.

6. Learn something new for which you have a passion for.

7. Talk to your dog, if you own a dog.. I find  dogs and puppies to be great stress busters. I feel a sense of joy, the moment I look at a cute dog picture or video.

8. Talking to a close friend or a family member or a Samaritan helps.  It’s imperative to have circle of positive friends who will inspire you.  “Tell me who your friends are and I will tell you what you are … As goes the American saying.

9. Keep milestones and measure your progress against them. Checking off against an achieved milestone can be one of the most rewarding acts to keep moving forward.

10. Read a book or some inspiring quotes. These days there are several Self Motivation posts on various blogs which definitely would be a Positive Emotional Attractor.

11. Chin up – good posture and a smile always helps.

12. Listen to music. Music is to the Soul what words are to the mind.  ” I think music in itself is healing. It’s an explosive expression of humanity. It’s something we are all touched by. No matter what culture we’re from, everyone loves music.” Billy Joel

Life is one big road with lots of signs. So when you riding through the ruts, don’t complicate your mind. Flee from hate, mischief and jealousy. Don’t bury your thoughts, put your vision to reality. Wake Up and Live! Bob Marley

Is it All About Different Strokes?

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In life what we see depends on what we look for. Perspective is the point of view or the ability to see something tangible or intangible objectively.
Each of us have the ability to choose our reactions to challenges or situations that life presents us with.  To me there are three types of Perspectives
1.The Right Perspective – Many times each of us think that the difficulties that we encounter are possibly the worst. However there are people out there with much worse problems than mine or yours and taking that view when we are down and out helps put a right perspective to life.
It’s okay that different people will come up with different ideas about the meaning of life. However, life ends up feeling a lot more gracious and open if each of us stop projecting our meaning on someone else. What matters is we don’t give up hope nor do we take away hope from some one else. This  particular clip from the movie “Shaw Shank Redemption” resonates this message well
2. The Wrong Perspective – One of the best examples is the view that many in this World have on where Women belong and the treatment meted out to her. Women have been discriminated in many parts of the world in their access to food, education, work, healthcare, and in opportunities to participate in their development, to think,and realize their dreams or even in their basic right to live.
In many parts of the world women are mere instruments of the ends of others whim and fancy – as sexual victims, re-producers, care takers, and as agents of a family’s general prosperity. Their acceptability is only as appendages of men, as daughters, sisters, wives, mothers, and not as one who has her own identity and a basic right to live her life the way she wants it.
For those who are so opinionated about where women don’t belong, may be consider the suggestions in the video below. Where Do Women Belong
3. The Differing Perspective this clip from the movie “Shaw Shank Redemption”, in my view beautifully conveys the different perspectives of a word like ‘rehabilitated’. This scene reminds of me the pep talk that senior management of many firms give to employees when a company cuts salaries or jobs. Or the numerous speeches that we have so often heard from many politicians re: unemployment numbers and how the economy is doing better. Ask a man without a meal a day and his perspective on the state of the economy or job loss may be way different.
We all know about some of the you tube videos going viral. However, it is not necessary that the more number of views a video has, that it conveys a hard-hitting message or  something worth watching. May be it is the curiosity as to why a video has gone viral that makes one view it ?
Each of us are unique and with different strokes but what we cannot have is The Wrong Perspective. Live, Let Live and Be Human.
Thank you for reading this post. If you have any comments or a different perspective please feel free to add those in the Comments Section Below.

Leadership Qualities -Do you have what it takes

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Practice makes us better in our behavior and in the daily acts that we do. For example, when we learn yoga, ballet, gymnastics, piano, tennis …..we consciously practice the relevant movements, repeatedly in a deliberate way. Thus by these conscious repeated practice, we become better each day at these acts. Our entire life is like this, but we more often than not, are less conscious of the practice that goes behind the acts and the behavior.

Each day if we consciously practice good habits we will excel at it and they will become a natural way of our life.

I believe that credentials on the wall alone do not necessarily make you a decent human being. A LEADER can be any of us, one with NO TITLE. It is important to be human & what is more important is One’s disposition. Each of us can inspire others by the way we conduct ourselves on a day to day basis and be inspired by others.

So what are these qualities that each of us can have to inspire others in whatever we do

1. GRACIOUSNESS – Be gracious in all situations no matter if you are dealing with your subordinate or supervisor. Many forget their graciousness if they feel their power is lost. We are benevolent when our status is unchallenged. But if it comes to a power-play situation, very few of us can tolerate being upstaged, even for a fleeting moment.

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
Viktor E. Frankl

2.LEARN FROM MISTAKES – Don’t judge somebody by the mistakes they have made. In fact, the greatest virtue of mistakes is that they show us a path to new discoveries and open our mind. The key is to learn from one’s mistake and move forward rather than not having tried at all. One of the things that defines our character is how we handle mistakes.

I read in a blog post How To Make A Brilliant Mistake by Paul Schoemaker about how a mistake can be viewed positively by a company and how they can reap benefits from the same. Relevant extract from the blog below

“The president of an Ann Arbor, Michigan business concocted what he calls the Golden Egg award to make sure his people would extract as much learning as possible from failures. He asks managers to share their mistakes at a monthly meeting not unlike the mortality and morbidity reviews hospitals hold to learn from medical errors. At first participants were reluctant to open up, but eventually these confessionals became a favorite part of the session.
The manager who presents the best mistake of the month gets the Golden Egg trophy—a spray-painted L’eggs pantyhose plastic egg. Initially, the trophies stayed in the desk drawer of the (un)lucky winner. But over time, winners became proud enough to place the trophy on their desk for the entire month. This naturally prompted conversations with visitors about with how managers were able to convert egg on their face into omelets rich with insight and learning. In short, the president managed to change the culture from one that hides mistakes to one that celebrates them.

3. MULTICULTURAL LEADERSHIP Starts from within. Just like each of us would like to be respected, we need to understand the values of different cultures whilst dealing with people on the global front. Only through knowing and understanding the sensitivity of other cultures deeply can a person link different people to a common cause and influence them to achieve the goal.

4. ENCOURAGE< CRITIQUE BUT DO NOT CRITICIZE/JUDGE – it is way too easy for us to criticize someone because of our perceptions of them. When I hear and see a kid screaming in a café, my first thought may be “can’t the parent teach the kid to behave well and be better mannered.” That thought is being too judgemental without even knowing the kid or the parent or what each of them has gone through. A leader tends to walk a mile in another’s shoe before criticizing or judging first. The following lyrics from one of Elvis Presley’s song Walk A Mile In My Shoes resonates the message well

Walk a mile in my shoes,
just walk a mile in my shoes
Before you abuse, criticize and accuse
Then walk a mile in my shoes

5.LEAD BY EXAMPLE – The story here (Source) highlights the qualities of authenticity, honesty, daring to live one’s dreams, listen to understand, encourage and empower those around you

The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn’t already know. I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder. I turned around to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that lit up her entire being.
She said, ‘Hi handsome. My name is Rose. I’m eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a hug?’I laughed and enthusiastically responded ‘Of course you may!’ and she gave me a giant squeeze. ‘Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?’ I asked. She jokingly replied, ‘I’m here to meet a rich husband, get married, and have a couple of kids….”No seriously,’ I asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge at her age.’I always dreamed of having a college education and now I’m getting one!’ she told me.

After class we walked to the student union building and shared a chocolate milkshake. We became instant friends. Every day for the next three months we would leave class together and talk nonstop. I was always mesmerized listening to this ‘time machine’ as she shared her wisdom and experience with me.
Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went. She loved to dress up and she revelled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up.

At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football banquet. I’ll never forget what she taught us. She was introduced and stepped up to the podium. As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three by five cards on the floor.

Frustrated and a little embarrassed she leaned into the microphone and simply said, ‘I’m sorry I’m so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is killing me! I’ll never get my speech back in order so let me just tell you what I know.’ As we laughed she cleared her throat and began, ‘ We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing.

There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy and achieving success. You have to laugh and find humour every day. You’ve got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die. We have so many people walking around who are dead and don’t even know it! There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up…If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don’t do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old. If I am eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight. Anybody can grow older. That doesn’t take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding opportunity in change. Have no regrets. The elderly usually don’t have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets.’ She concluded her speech by courageously singing ‘The Rose.’

She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives… At the year’s end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago. One week after graduation Rose died peacefully in her sleep.Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that it’s never too late to be all you can possibly be.

Leadership is A Choice to inspire each other in all we do and something we practice day-to-day from within.

Hope you enjoyed the post, if you would like to add some more qualities please feel free to do so.

“Price is what you pay. Value is what you get.”

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I recently re-read the Book “The Warren Buffett Way” By Robert G Hagstrom and  this is one of the books which I have read several times in whole and in part.

The following extract from this book, is one of my favorites

“It is not enough to have good intelligence,” write Descartes,” the principle thing is to apply it well.”   It is the application that separates Buffett from other investment managers.  Buffett stands above them all because of his formidable ability to implement his strategies.”

I love this quote by the man himself

“It takes 20 years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it. If you think about that, you’ll do things differently.” Warren Buffett

Following is an extract from an interview on CNBC with Warren Buffett

Do We Have It In Us?

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Here are some of Marianne Williamson (one of my recent discoveries and since then have become an ardent fan) Quotes and some examples in daily life that Each of Us Can Make A Difference in day to day life.

I.”The secret of success is to realize that the crisis on our planet is much larger than just deciding what to do with your own life, and if the system under which we live the structure of western civilization begins to collapse because of our selfishness and greed, then it will make no difference whether you have $1 million dollars when the crash comes or just $1.00. The only work that will ultimately bring any good to any of us is the work of contributing to the healing of the world.”

II.”Maturity includes the recognition that no one is going to see anything in us that we don’t see in ourselves. Stop waiting for a producer. Produce yourself.”

I read this article on a tweet today about a Cancer Survivor who has climbed Everest with one lung. For full article Read Here. A Perfect example of not giving up and to go beyond his self.

Each of us are faced with challenges and hurdles throughout our life.  However the best treatment each of us can give ourself is how we deal with these challenges and move on. Each of us have a purpose in life and we need to make the most of it. It is all about the personal drive which comes from one’s own enthusiasm, inspiration derived from friends and families and to me personally many a time by reading real life stories or meeting people in real life who have dealt with a thing or two in life.

III.”Personal transformation can and does have global effects. As we go, so goes the world, for the world is us. The revolution that will save the world is ultimately a personal one.”

Best example I can think of here is each of our effort to save energy, water and nature’s resources. We can stop wasting food, water and stressing the resources of this planet.  If you want to read more about this please refer to my Article “Earth Hour”

Don’t ask yourself do you have it in you. Each of us have it in us… it is a matter of doing. “Just Do it” by Nike conveys it all. Do each of us really need to be told by somebody to value their space and make a contribution ? What do you think?

Are We Rational?

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Do we accept everything in life at face value? Do we question everything. How do we attain a balance between the two. Does a rational mind have an answer??

“Buddha’s understanding of the human mind (and brain) was unique; both rational and contemporary. He encouraged debate and discourse; raised questions more often than he provided answers; encouraging his followers to think like him, with freedom. He recognised the pitfalls of blind faith, unquestioning belief and intolerance of contradictory ideas. He laid emphasis on empirical verification and on understanding the world, as it is and as it is constituted. Indeed, through his radical empiricism, he laid the foundations of scientific spirit and enquiry 2500 years ago. His was the quintessential rational mind.”

For the Full Article Refer The Hindu

Women and Culture

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A blog post How Do We Influence our Culture? Does it legitimize honor killings ?@Bell_Bajao prompted me to write this.  I am Indian and have always lived in Asia where one hears the word “Culture” used often.  What is Culture –Wikipedia definition is as follows

  • Excellence of taste in the fine arts and humanities, also known as high culture
  • An integrated pattern of human knowledge, belief, and behavior that depends upon the capacity for symbolic thought and social learning
  • The set of shared attitudes, values, goals, and practices that characterizes an institution, organization or group

This culture is used against women the most. Women are not allowed to wear some clothes, work in some professions, talk loudly and a list of endless do’s and don’ts, and all this in the name of culture.

To me this is not culture but a myth and belief that has been created by a sect of people and has been carried over for several generations only because the oppressed or the discriminated (women in this case) have not dared to raise their voice.

Any belief  in the name of culture that promotes honor killing, oppression of women, rape and torture and denies her basic human rights is not to be promoted.

Whilst I agree that there are many countries even in this day and age where women are murdered & abused for going against the so called norm, silence does not help. Silence from the victim or from the spectator is not going to resolve the issue, instead, the oppressed will continue to suffer.

Women have to raise their voice and change their thinking and this can only be done by creating awareness through media, and education.

In India this can also be achieved through Bollywood. I attach a video here of an extract of a movie called “Dil Bole Hadippa” which is a story of  a girl called Veera who lives in a small village but has dreams of playing cricket in the big league.

While Veera dreams on in India, Rohan is an accomplished captain of a county cricket team in England. Rohan returns to India to captain his father’s cricket team which has been losing consecutively for the last 8 years.

In a village where girls don’t play cricket, Veera has to put on a turban and beard and become a man to fulfill her dreams. Her brilliance on the field earns her a place in Rohan’s team and Veera Kaur becomes Veer Pratap Singh.

The attached video extract is a fantastic dialogue which she delivers when she is told by her captain to reveal her true identity.  She basically questions the audience as to why a women cannot be accepted in a man’s team, Why look at the gender when the end delivery is better than a man and when she enabled her team to win.  Watch the play of the player not the name ( or rather gender). She quotes examples of Sunita Williams, Kiran Bedi, Indira Gandhi who have created wonders in their own way. What I liked the most in this dialogue was when she says that one can stop a Veera from becoming Veer, from playing cricket, but can you actually stop her from dreaming??  Please watch.

It is these kind of dialogues and content that the media should promote to raise awareness amongst women and society. We cannot use culture as an excuse any more.  Women have to learn to fight for their space and human rights.