Leadership | Little Things That Matter

Values Are Like Fingerprints… Are You Leading With Your Values?

5 June 2013 By Lalita Raman 5 Comments

Lalita Raman

It is Friday evening and you are looking forward to your long overdue vacation. You are working on the final touches of your proposal to get a new line of business approved. The proposal is almost ready barring some details on some legal challenges that you are awaiting from your legal department. You receive the legal opinion and when you read it, you realize that a key element is missing. Not considering this aspect might hurt the franchise of the business in the future. The only person aware about this is you and none else.
What would you do?
Would you rather let it go because you’ll never be found out or blamed or would you listen to your inner voice which tells you how important it is to highlight this specific legal risk.
What is this inner voice that whispers to you at various moments in your day and life. A whisper to the effect “There is no way you can do that. it’s not right”.

Each of us have core values whether we realize it or not. Core values is what is imbibed in us from the day we are born. Some values we instill in us as we are growing. Values sit within our memory and are deep-rooted. They are not written anywhere but are those which we live through our behavior and actions.

Values are like fingerprints. Nobody’s are the same, but you leave ‘em all over everything you do. ~Elvis Presley

You are your personal brand. Personal brand is not just about you being a CEO or CFO or Fashion designer but it is what you are in what you do and how you choose to show your values in your career and the various roles you perform.

Key questions on Values – For the full post refer LINK

Top 5 Leadership Lessons From YOGA

23 May 2013 By Lalita Raman 2 Comments

Lalita Raman

Are you wondering what yoga has to do with leadership?

I have done yoga for almost 10 years and I still continue to learn not only the yoga poses but what yoga can teach about myself, life and leadership. When I started yoga 10 years back, it was purely as an exercise and to improve my flexibility. Most of the yoga instructors will tell you that yoga is a connection between mind, body and soul and the common link is through your breath. I used to hear this but never quite understood the real essence.
My journey with yoga in the first two-three years, was one of hate and love. However, where I stand today with yoga is one of love, where I have learnt to overcome some of my frustrations of inflexibility. This is where yoga is like leadership, in that a leader doesn’t take credit only when the going is good but stands through tough times and journeys through them.

For the full post please click on the LINK

10 Leadership Lessons From My Mom

13 May 2013 By Lalita Raman Leave a Comment

Today is Mother’s Day and normally I don’t write blog posts on my mother on this day. A mother, I believe is someone who needs to be honored, loved, cared every single day and not just on Mother’s Day. Why did I decide to write a blog post this year?

I was having a chat with a business colleague yesterday and we were discussing leadership, qualities of a leader and people who have inspired each of us. On the topic of inspiration, many have inspired me but none better than my mom and my dad. Since the discussion is fresh in my mind and Mother’s Day is today, I thought, why not translate these thoughts into a blog post.

My mom has never considered herself as a leader and even if you tell her she probably doesn’t understand how she can be a leader.

My mom is in her 70’s and she comes from a conservative background. She got married when she was 19 and she has always been a housewife who always found pleasure in looking after her home, her family and in building a temple of values.

Why do I consider my mom as a leader ?

For the full post refer to the LINK

What Can You Learn About Leadership From Children?

29 April 2013 By Lalita Raman 4 Comments

I was staying with my sister when I was visiting my family last week. One of her neighbors has two girls aged 5 and 7, Rita and Meeta. These two girls are the most adorable children I have ever met. They spend their entire evening at my sister’s house, after she and her husband get back home. One of the evenings, we were chatting and having fun with the kids when the younger girl, Rita whispers something in her sister, Meeta’s, ear and tells her don’t share. “Keep it a secret, ok promise.” She then looks at me from the corner of her eye with an abashed look. By then, Meeta, however reveals her secret. The secret being that Rita has a friend in school who loves her. Rita looks at us sheepishly and says he keeps saying I love you. But I don’t. So my sister asks her, so why don’t you tell him what you feel? Oh, but I have only over heard and he hasn’t told me directly. When he tells me directly, I’ll let him know. My sister asks her how would she tell him, and I was surprised with her response. She said, “I love my parents and my sister, and as of now that’s it.”

Mind you, this is a girl who is barely 5 years old.

What lessons of leadership can we learn from children?

Clarity – Rita was very clear in communicating about her experience, what love meant to her and why this boy’s behavior made her uncomfortable. Even at that age she was crystal clear and did not mince her words. She was confused and her mind was possibly wrestling with what she should do. She in her childlike innocence revealed her secret to her sister. Leaders often know what is needed but many times get lost in their mental chatter. Often the solution lies in mindfulness and following the heart and not laboring the mind. The time to act is not when you are confused.
Emotional Intelligence – Rita had overheard this remark but she had the EQ not to react to that boy, because that comment was not yet made directly to her. She had the emotional awareness to not react immediately but prepare herself if and when that happens. As leaders, of utmost importance, is striking the right balance between IQ and EQ. Many times the team may consist of people who may not have understood what is required of them or may be preoccupied with some other thoughts. A leader will do well to recognize such situations and not publicly humiliate team members who err or consistently seem preoccupied. Leaders can navigate through challenging times if they have a high EQ. Being self-aware and empathetic is critical.
Discuss and Ask for Help – Rita was feeling embarrassed to discuss what was troubling her in front of my sister and I, but my gut feel is that she told Meeta realizing that she would tell us. Rita did that because she wanted to discuss and see what we had to tell her. As leaders, you can’t be expected to know everything. If you are not sure of something, ask, discuss and clarify. No one can fly solo all the time. It is better to ask for support rather than make a mistake and lose the trust of your team members.

How many times have you been in awe at the questions that children ask ?

Have the questions that a child asks made you reflect?

What have you learned from observing children?

Children are always curious, they never stop asking questions. They are on a never-ending quest to learn, to share, to try out new things. They follow their heart and lead from within though they may be too young to realize this.

Don’t we as adults and leaders need to learn a thing or two from children?

Does “Employee Engagement” Matter?

24 April 2013 By Lalita Raman 8 Comments

John was with his company for a little over two years. He was one of the senior management reporting directly to the CEO and Chairman. He was very soon expected to take over as CEO and Chairman. However, John was frustrated and has been mulling over leaving the firm to pursue other opportunities. John had joined this firm with a lot of expectations in terms of the vision he saw for this company. This was the second firm in his 15 year career so far.

Employee engagement has become a key word and an area of focus within organizations more so from the point view of retention. What is employee engagement? Employee engagement is the emotional commitment that a person has to their organization.

What is the Key to Employee Engagement

From Gallup

12 questions for Employee Engagement

1) Do you know what is expected of you at work?
2) Do you have the materials and equipment to do your work right?
3) At work, do you have the opportunity to do what you do best every day?
4) In the last seven days, have you received recognition or praise for doing good work?
5) Does your supervisor, or someone at work, seem to care about you as a person?
6) Is there someone at work who encourages your development?
7) At work, do your opinions seem to count?
8) Does the mission/purpose of your company make you feel your job is important?
9) Are your associates (fellow employees) committed to doing quality work?
10) Do you have a best friend at work?
11) In the last six months, has someone at work talked to you about your progress?
12) In the last year, have you had opportunities to learn and grow?

Key questions to ask to retain good people

Please refer this LINK

In John’s case, he had always surpassed what was expected of him, he was also a strong candidate tipped to become the next CEO and Chairman. But yet he wanted to leave.

The key question here is was he ever asked by the CEO and Chairman How can I, and the company, help you fulfill your career goals and your vision ?

Whenever you have changed organizations ask yourself what is that you lacked the most. Was it just a promotion and salary hike or one or all of the following

Appreciation – As leaders it is key to deliver the recognition in a manner that the employee is comfortable. Just saying “Hey good job” delivered in a no care attitude hardly does the job. Recognition and appreciation has to be specific (with referral to what was done well and the efforts that they put in) and timely.
You Matter – being appreciated, recognized and made to feel You Matter is a continuous process rather than a onetime event. A true leader realizes that it is important to create and maintain such an environment. It is about them and not about you or your achievements.
Larger goal – engagement is high when what we do is linked to a larger vision or purpose. True meaning is achieved when we can connect to something bigger than us.
Tone – delivery of words of praise has to be meaningful and sincere. Tone in which the message is communicated matters most.
Clarity – you have to be clear and focused in what you liked the most and how it contributed to the overall vision of the company or goal of the project. Sandwiching too many compliments makes the feedback confusing. The Sandwich Approach also undermines your message.

No one is perfect and we all learn from mistakes. While correcting the employee for their mistake the following should never be done

Public humiliation – none of us like to be embarrassed in front of our team. Even when circumstances warrant you to correct someone amongst a group, the way the message is delivered is important.
Not walking your talk – you need to spend time with your team. You need to deliver on your word. Motivation is badly affected when you as a leader don’t lead by example.
People skills – communication of the goals, developments, changes in management structure is imperative. Employee engagement will be low when you keep your employees second guessing. Many employees learn from media as to what is going on within their company rather than from their managers.

John was recognized for his performance but the communication lines had broken down. The company changed its vision which was never directly communicated to him, the ‘why’ was never answered and ‘what’ he was hired for was forgotten along the way. Bottom line of career management is to align right people to right position, doing the right thing = operational performance + productivity + profit.

Employee engagement is a three-way process and requires responsibility, accountability and ownership from the employer, the employees and the organization.

Useful References

Research on Employee Engagement

Have You Befriended “The Gremlin”

25 February 2013 By Lalita Raman Leave a Comment

Belonging starts with self-acceptance … Believing that you’re enough is what gives you the courage to be authentic. – Brene Brown, research professor in social work

Who do you give more airtime to; your “Inner Champion” or your “Inner Critic”

A client of mine, let’s call her Jane had this struggle with her inner village. A pompous voice that always kept telling her that she will fail miserably when speaking in front of crowds.

If you look at Jane, she is an individual who exudes confidence in whatever she does in her other aspects of life. She has ventured out into many challenges in her work and personal life. However, in whatever she does she feels she is an underachiever and she can do better. She expects herself to always do better.

As far as public speaking was concerned, her inner critic dominated her and controlled her actions to her detriment.

As we engage with the world, many times we internalize the voices of our significant others, voices that encourage, voices that criticize, empowering voices, supportive voices, cautious voices, loving voices. And there is our voice of our own inner village that encourages and champions us in our endeavors and other times criticizes us and undermines our potential. The voice of the inner critique is one that loves to break us, stroke us and doubt ourselves. She falsifies your ego by justifying why you don’t want to do something.

When I asked Jane how long she has dealt with her critical inner village, she said “12 years.” And she was giving attention to it for 12 years.

She mentioned that her inner village always liked to bully her, tease her, remind her of all things that could go wrong if she had to speak in front of a crowd, how bad she was when she spoke, how her body language, facial expressions, and the way she spoke was improper. This inner village was almost always with her and spoke to her loud to discourage her. When she was dominated by her inner critic, if she happened to hear anything from her personal relationships, she found herself further vulnerable and in a flight or fight mode, though she never displayed it.

She came to me at a time when she realized that a strategy of trying to shut herself from this voice of the inner critic didn’t work. She realized that the situation was becoming worse. She couldn’t run away from herself. She had to face her inner demons, deal with them and overcome them.

So how does one recognize their inner critic, accept it, learn to deal with it and move on with life without this demon stopping you from living your life.

Questions you need to ask yourself – READ ON... FOR FULL POST PLEASE CLICK LINK

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Top 5 Secrets To Make Resolutions Happen

20 February 2013 By Lalita Raman 1 Comment

Albert Einstein said, “The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking. It can’t be changed without changing our thought.”

At the beginning of each new year, many of us make resolutions. These resolutions may be to eat healthy, exercise more, sleep early, practice mindfulness, be more patient, stop multitasking, etc. Most of these resolutions are goals we set ourselves for self-improvement. We need a constant mindset to improve daily.

What is common in all the above cases ? It is a Resolve. A resolve to

Do better
Be better
Change for the better
Speak up against injustice and oppression.
Recognize our inner critique and not allow it to be our bully.
Listen to our inner voice every time we waiver from being a human.

There is a fixity of purpose, and unless we have this resolve and take a step ahead by committing to this choice, change will not happen.

I like to think a resolve adds meaning to random thoughts, procrastination to change and forces us to commit to the change. It is something we set our mind to and goes beyond a random wish. It is an enthusiasm, a passion to explore and turn into better realities rather than come mid year when we realize that we have forgotten about the new year resolutions.

How does one stick to one’s Resolve? Effective management of any change requires managing five key goals which is well explained by the ADKAR model.

1. Awareness: to change a habit or a behavior or a situation, you have to want to change.

For that it is important to ask:

How do you view the current state?

How do you perceive the habit or the behavior or the current situation?

Contestability of the reasons for change?

WHY is it important to change?

2. Desire to want to change. A desire to participate and support the change. What are your intrinsic motivators unique to you to allow for change

3. Knowledge of how to change and what the change looks like. If I want to lose weight, I need to know how to go about losing weight and what will the process will look like. Important considerations here are your current knowledge base on the area you want to make the change in, capability to gain additional knowledge, what are the resources available and can you gain access to all or most of the relevant resources.

Let’s take the case of a woman facing domestic violence. She has got through step 1 and 2, the A and D, then she needs to ask herself what is her current knowledge on how she is going to stop being a victim of domestic violence, what resources is readily available to her that she already knows of, how is she going to gain additional knowledge of the sources of information to help her out of this situation – may be help line nos., the steps she needs to take to ensure her own safety and finally how easily accessible is each of these resources

4. Ability – do I have the ability to change. What if any are the psychological blocks (what in your own mindset that will work against you), physical and intellectual capability where relevant, and the time you are willing to devote to make that resolve happen. If your resolve is to get over your fear of public speaking, you need to evaluate your mental blocks, befriend your inner critic, time you are willing to devote to practice and get over the fear, the willingness to get a help from a coach who can assist you in making that resolve happen

5. Reinforcement – sustainable change rather than for a short time. The degree to which the change is meaningful (I’m making a difference), the absence of negative consequences, the ability to overcome hurdles along the journey and an accountability mechanism that creates an ongoing mechanism to reinforce the changes. The mindset above all to keep the change in place despite humps and setbacks along the way.

In an organizational context it is important for the managers and the leaders to recognize that all have talents, skills, and abilities. Question to ask in the process of any change is how do you apply the talents, abilities and resources you have. It is important to engage the team in a cause bigger than themselves, something they feel passionate about and one that makes them come alive. A true leader knows this, understand this and is able to provide this in an organization.

In any personal change, to commit to change ask yourself what is the trigger? Is it an adversity or a reward? What value are you creating for yourself and the people around you by resolving to change? In any change it is important to be aware of the value in it before you can make the change. Only then can you engage in the resolve with your heart, your brain and your guts.

The world is full of thinkers, dreamers and talkers. You can make a difference by making things happen because you believe you can.

What are your psychological blocks?

What are your reinforcements?

What are your triggers

Are you committed to change?

“If you really desire something, the whole universe will conspire to help you.” ― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist. I would add if you desire something and commit to that desire nothing can stop you. You will make The Resolve happen.

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Top 5 Reasons to gain from “The Winter Of Our Discontent”

28 January 2013 By Lalita Raman Leave a Comment

Life is the best teacher and there is no preview to the various ups and downs that life presents to you in the journey with her. No school, college or MBA can teach you how to deal with life, how you feel about your experiences and how not to be knocked out.

Many people you meet in your life tell you to be content with life. True that, but the following quote by Oscar Wilde has always been with me to make changes and facilitate growth from where I am. “Discontent is the first step in the progress of a man or nation.”

Think about this quote carefully :

When have you really challenged yourself?

When have you strived to get something done?

When have you decided to end a relationship?

When have you decided to change your job or career?

When have you made life changing decisions?

In each of these situations above, is it from discontent with the current being or situation?

Should we be discontent all the time?

No, I cringe to imagine a situation of discontent all the time because that causes negativity and being in the spiral of negativity is possibly the worst damage that you could do to yourself.

Why and when is being discontent a true guide to life :

1. Cruise Control and operating on auto pilot– In her book, My Stroke of Insight, Jill Bolte Taylor, Ph.D. tells us and I quote

“In addition, our minds are highly sophisticated “seek and ye shall find” instruments. We are designed to focus in on whatever we are looking for. If I seek red in the world then I will find it everywhere. Perhaps just a little in the beginning, but the longer I stay focused on looking for red, then before you know it, I will see red everywhere.”

If we settle for mediocrity when we are capable of lot more, we stop to grow. Observe a child and you’ll see how Children are so enthusiastic to learn, to explore, to dare and be curious. Curiosity to learn more about different things in life, different fields and phenomena should always be there. When you stop to learn discontent should enable us to take the next step forward which is to challenge our self for something different or new. ‘Unless you try to do something beyond what you have already mastered, you will never grow.’ ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

2. Control your mind – the power to control your mind rests with you and none other. If you examine life, review, renew and search for new discoveries and push your mind to reach new destinations, you’ll participate in life. Discontentment should enable us to find our inner self and go on a journey within.

3. Relationships – treasure and thank those who didn’t leave you when you needed them the most. Thank those who stood by you during your hardships. Use discontent in some of your relationships to question your own behavior, behavior of others and decide whether to work on the relationship or move on and walk away.

4. Question – In all forms of communication, one’s impact is most effective when we pay attention to the receipt of our influence. Questions, in my view, allows one to listen and interject at the relevant time and get the other party engaged and excited about the conversation or the subject being discussed. In the relevant context, a question constructed and asked properly acts as a catalyst. Any question is relevant if asked in the right context and enables you to determine if you can continue to push forward, pull back or change your style.

Initiate and Embrace positive change, a change that leads to growth and improvement. You can initiate change only if you are discontent about the current state of affairs in some aspect of life.

5. Gratuitous – have a sense of gratitude with what you have but never be content with the kindness that you can spread amongst others and with others. Avoid excesses in that don’t hoard things that are not essential since they will become a source of misery. “Become a hunter of blessings, actively seeking them out in every experience and person you encounter.” ~Kate Nowak

Being discontent with anything that triggers growth, improvement and development of self is necessary but not one that will lead to negativity and complaints without striving for a positive change. I would say let me choose to be discontent so that I can grow, develop, and create a positive influence.

Doesn’t Self Improvement Begin With Discontent ?

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Are You A Leader or a Manager ?

22 January 2013 By Lalita Raman Leave a Comment

A great person attracts great people and knows how to hold them together – Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

Leadership and management go hand in hand but yet we have great managers who may not be great leaders.

Have you identified why?
Have you had a high turnover because of your manager ?
Have you analyzed the traits of the team and those of the manager – High D,or C or S or I?

Most of you may associate with the following descriptions of a leader and a manager.

Leader – one who inspires others by their actions and behavior. Leadership is a philosophy of life. Leadership is not about managing things but about developing people. It is about helping people to liberate the fullness of their talents while they pursue a vision that you have inspired them to buy into as a worthy and meaningful one. Great leaders are great teachers as well as great coaches.

Manager – managers direct and tell their team what to do. They plan for the achievement of day-to-day tasks and the goals of the department or group whom they manage. Managers, by nature, are concerned with outcomes.

A leader is not necessarily one with an organizational title but why don’t we have more managers considered as leaders?

Questions you need to ask is FOR FULL POST REFER LINK

In the organizational context, DISC can be used as a simple yet comprehensive construct to help leaders become more effective in the interpersonal aspects of leadership.

Dominance (“D” Factor) – How you handle problems and challenges

Influence (“I” Factor) – How you handle people and influence others

Steadiness (“S” Factor) – How you handle change and pace yourself

Compliance (“C” Factor) – How you handle rules and procedures set by others

For further details on DISC and taking the assessment, please contact me through the blog. Thank you

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Values Are Like Fingerprints… Are You Leading With Your Values?

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Top Five Questions On Work-Life Balance

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Top 5 Leadership Lessons From YOGA

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10 Leadership Lessons From My Mom

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Does “Employee Engagement” Matter?

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Are You A Leader or a Manager ?

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