I was in conversation with a friend of mine a fortnight back. She suddenly remarked …”I need to learn to like myself”. When I asked her why do you say that, her response, “I try to make everyone happy in what I am and what I do”, surprised me even more.
So I ask her, what is the latter got to do with you not liking yourself ? “Oh, I am disappointed all the time and that makes me try harder and it is a vicious cycle”.
The conversation went on for long and she realized that there is no way she can please everybody in life. She was getting distraught because somewhere along the way she was paying an excessive weight to pleasing everyone.
We don’t choose all the cards that we get to deal with and many of the cards that we are dealt with, we feel we don’t deserve.
The choice each of us can make is our attitude and the shift we consciously make to deal with the bumps that we face in life. Click To Tweet
There will be some people who like you for what you are and what you do and yet others who don’t. However, what is important is how you behave, how you are in every aspect of life, at work and day-to-day. You can make an effort to live with integrity, and commitment and communicate well no matter the situation.
How can we make who we are, what we do and the results that we achieve as a result of being and doing in sync?
1. Why – at various times in our life we set a goal or a vision for ourselves so that we don’t become aimless wanderer’s in the path of life. In our mission we take to achieve the goals or visions we have set ourselves, we sometimes meet with situations in life where we feel we have bumped off our path. In these moments of confusion, it often helps to take a step back, reflect and ask ourselves, why do we do what we do?
2. What – what we do is important to achieve the vision we have set in life. In getting so involved in the what, we often lose track of the why. We get so involved in “the doing” to achieve the results, that we temporarily forget the why. The same “why” can be brought back to focus by questioning and reflecting on the “what we do”.
3. How – how do we achieve the goal that we have set for ourselves in who we are and the different roles that we play in life. “How” crystallizes the “why” because our being and who we are is reflected in the “how”. How do we achieve the results or the final goal reflects whether your ‘being’ and ‘doing’ is in sync.
To me, the “why” answers and reflects who we are or our being and our behaviors. The “what” reflects the activities that we engage in to achieve our vision and the “how” indicates the way we achieve our “why” and reflects our values and character.
If your path is deviating from your foundation and you see your behaviors and actions moving away from your core, it is time to reflect and gain control on your attitude and things that you do or don’t. Click To Tweet
It is the roller coaster ride of life that makes us who we are and during the peaks and troughs of life, ‘who’ we are (a combination of our ‘real’ self and the ‘ought to be’ self) and who we wish (ideal self) to be, should get closer and closer.
Being close to your ideal self begins with understanding what drives and motivates you, and then figuring out what you really want to achieve in work and in life and why.
How are you living your life?
Does your ‘what’ and ‘how’ reflect your ‘why’?
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