Little Things That Matter

Learn From The Past, Live The Present and Have An Open Mind to Face Tomorrow

The Pitfalls Of Willful Blindness

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I’m not a fan of watching soap operas. One day when I was changing channels to watch a program on CNBC, my attention was caught by a snap-shot of a scene in Star Plus, where a girl was asking questions to her grandma. I started watching this Indian soap opera called Veera. What got me interested in this soap opera was the girl’s never-ending quest to learn, to challenge, to explore, to question and not to take things for granted.

If you observe a child, you will notice that a child never stops to ask questions. Most questions asked by a child arise from curiosity and to determine the Why? However, as we grow older, we stop asking relevant questions. We take things for granted and are happy to accept the beliefs, the processes, the archaic methods.

When people ask me what is Coaching, I explain that a Coach facilitates listening in an adult environment by asking relevant and contextual questions. As your coach, I create an environment of evoking you to explore your maximum potential be it in tactical – sales, communication or leadership or transformational coaching.

How many times have you faced situations in your organization or in a community voluntary service, where you observe situations of conformity just to be seen in the group, despite situations which defy logic? A person who asks questions, despite being logical and rational is often seen as rocking the boat.

Take the case of Community Service. Community service is important because it gives people a sense of belonging and being helpful to others. However, many times in an NGO or in voluntary service organizations, you will observe that people have failed to ask:

  • Why have we come together?
  • What is the common purpose?
  • How can the community or those who claim to lead it engage others in what they are passionate about?
  • What are your different perspectives and interests?
  • How well do you know the group?
  • Is each one being utilized for what they feel worthy of ?

The meetings get wound up in processes and never-ending complicated procedures. The above is true within many organizations as well.

In many organizations, several policies and procedures are carried out because they have just existed. No one has dared to question them or find out if they serve the purpose. Even if someone has bothered to question them, many times they give up because it affects their career path within the organization.

An American academic study into organizational silence found that 85 percent of executives had issues or concerns at work that they had never articulated. The chief reason was fear of retribution.

More often than not, silence results not only from fear or discomfort associated with standing out like a sore thumb but also from futility. We see this within organizations among the senior management, in the political arena, in the non-profit world and in day-to-day matters of life be it child abuse, violence against women and other social matters.

What is this indifference or turning a blind eye called?

Willful Blindness is a dangerous panacea that spreads and harms not only yourself but the organization you possibly lead or the team you manage.

In her book, Margaret Heffernan argues that the biggest threats and dangers we face are the ones we don’t see – not because they’re secret or invisible, but because we’re willfully blind. She examines the phenomenon and traces its imprint in our private and working lives, and within governments and organizations, and asks: What makes us prefer ignorance? What are we so afraid of? Why do some people see more than others? And how can we change?

This Ted Video by Margaret Heffernan is worth watching.

Leaders need to ask questions, critique things, challenge the obvious, get out of their comfort zone. Renewal and success happens only when we refuse to lead our life and those whom we inspire, with apathy.

Be curious for the right reasons, curiosity is a wonderful leadership trait. It will enable you to be the change and explore new paths.

Curiosity is a desire to learn, to instigate change, to know, to care, one that you nor I can shy away from.

Reflective Questions

How are you paving the way forward to create a path of staying away from willful blindness?

As a leader what are you doing to take responsibility?

How willing are you to question and challenge the status quo?

For Coaching, Facilitating, Speaking and Workshops Connect. About Lalita Raman

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Women and Culture

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A blog post How Do We Influence our Culture? Does it legitimize honor killings ?@Bell_Bajao prompted me to write this.  I am Indian and have always lived in Asia where one hears the word “Culture” used often.  What is Culture –Wikipedia definition is as follows

  • Excellence of taste in the fine arts and humanities, also known as high culture
  • An integrated pattern of human knowledge, belief, and behavior that depends upon the capacity for symbolic thought and social learning
  • The set of shared attitudes, values, goals, and practices that characterizes an institution, organization or group

This culture is used against women the most. Women are not allowed to wear some clothes, work in some professions, talk loudly and a list of endless do’s and don’ts, and all this in the name of culture.

To me this is not culture but a myth and belief that has been created by a sect of people and has been carried over for several generations only because the oppressed or the discriminated (women in this case) have not dared to raise their voice.

Any belief  in the name of culture that promotes honor killing, oppression of women, rape and torture and denies her basic human rights is not to be promoted.

Whilst I agree that there are many countries even in this day and age where women are murdered & abused for going against the so called norm, silence does not help. Silence from the victim or from the spectator is not going to resolve the issue, instead, the oppressed will continue to suffer.

Women have to raise their voice and change their thinking and this can only be done by creating awareness through media, and education.

In India this can also be achieved through Bollywood. I attach a video here of an extract of a movie called “Dil Bole Hadippa” which is a story of  a girl called Veera who lives in a small village but has dreams of playing cricket in the big league.

While Veera dreams on in India, Rohan is an accomplished captain of a county cricket team in England. Rohan returns to India to captain his father’s cricket team which has been losing consecutively for the last 8 years.

In a village where girls don’t play cricket, Veera has to put on a turban and beard and become a man to fulfill her dreams. Her brilliance on the field earns her a place in Rohan’s team and Veera Kaur becomes Veer Pratap Singh.

The attached video extract is a fantastic dialogue which she delivers when she is told by her captain to reveal her true identity.  She basically questions the audience as to why a women cannot be accepted in a man’s team, Why look at the gender when the end delivery is better than a man and when she enabled her team to win.  Watch the play of the player not the name ( or rather gender). She quotes examples of Sunita Williams, Kiran Bedi, Indira Gandhi who have created wonders in their own way. What I liked the most in this dialogue was when she says that one can stop a Veera from becoming Veer, from playing cricket, but can you actually stop her from dreaming??  Please watch.

It is these kind of dialogues and content that the media should promote to raise awareness amongst women and society. We cannot use culture as an excuse any more.  Women have to learn to fight for their space and human rights.