Belonging starts with self-acceptance … Believing that you’re enough is what gives you the courage to be authentic. – Brene Brown, research professor in social work
Who do you give more airtime to; your “Inner Champion” or your “Inner Critic”
A client of mine, let’s call her Jane had this struggle with her inner village. A pompous voice that always kept telling her that she will fail miserably when speaking in front of crowds.
If you look at Jane, she is an individual who exudes confidence in whatever she does in her other aspects of life. She has ventured out into many challenges in her work and personal life. However, in whatever she does she feels she is an underachiever and she can do better. She expects herself to always do better.
As far as public speaking was concerned, her inner critic dominated her and controlled her actions to her detriment.
As we engage with the world, many times we internalize the voices of our significant others, voices that encourage, voices that criticize, empowering voices, supportive voices, cautious voices, loving voices. And there is our voice of our own inner village that encourages and champions us in our endeavors and other times criticizes us and undermines our potential. The voice of the inner critique is one that loves to break us, stroke us and doubt ourselves. She falsifies your ego by justifying why you don’t want to do something.
When I asked Jane how long she has dealt with her critical inner village, she said “12 years.” And she was giving attention to it for 12 years.
She mentioned that her inner village always liked to bully her, tease her, remind her of all things that could go wrong if she had to speak in front of a crowd, how bad she was when she spoke, how her body language, facial expressions, and the way she spoke was improper. This inner village was almost always with her and spoke to her loud to discourage her. When she was dominated by her inner critic, if she happened to hear anything from her personal relationships, she found herself further vulnerable and in a flight or fight mode, though she never displayed it.
She came to me at a time when she realized that a strategy of trying to shut herself from this voice of the inner critic didn’t work. She realized that the situation was becoming worse. She couldn’t run away from herself. She had to face her inner demons, deal with them and overcome them.
So how does one recognize their inner critic, accept it, learn to deal with it and move on with life without this demon stopping you from living your life.
Questions you need to ask yourself – READ ON... FOR FULL POST PLEASE CLICK LINK
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