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Are You Willing To Remove Your Mask And Be Who You Are?

9 January 2015 By Lalita Raman 2 Comments

During social gatherings or networking meetings, I often meet people whom I think I know and yet I realize that the person I’m interacting with is somebody very different from who they are, if you meet them one-on-one.

I was watching Revenge last weekend and the following reflection by the main character, piqued my interest.

“Just as there are two sides to every story, there are two sides to every person… …one that we reveal to the world and another we keep hidden inside. A duality governed by the balance of light and darkness. Within each of us is the capacity for both good and evil.”

As Hamlet said to Ophelia, “God has given you one face, and you make yourself another.” The battle between these two halves of identity……who we are and who we pretend to be… is unwinnable.

I often wonder why people wear masks and fail to connect with their genuine self.

When you observe children, you notice that they are genuine, un-spoilt and you get what you see. Dogs are genuine and have an uncanny ability to be friendly and genuine. There is no hidden agenda in a dog’s behavior.

Most people associate authenticity with being yourself, walking your talk or being true to oneself. Authenticity, however, goes beyond how you feel about yourself. It is a relational behavior your ability to be comfortable with yourself and connect with others comfortably.

You can be direct and genuine without being rude and arrogant. Using Diplomacy and tact is not about changing personalities and wearing masks.

Each of us, no matter the situation, can be who we want to be. Create a self-awareness and ask yourself if you are being honest to yourself.

I was inspired by the following speech given by MR. RATAN TATA at Symbiosis in Pune, India.

“Don’t just have career or academic goals. Set goals to give you a balanced, successful life. Balanced means ensuring your health, relationships, mental peace are all in good order. There is no point of getting a promotion on the day of your breakup. There is no fun in driving a car if your back hurts. Shopping is not enjoyable if your mind is full of tensions. Don’t take life seriously. Life is not meant to be taken seriously, as we are really temporary here. We are like a prepaid card with limited validity. If we are lucky, we may last another 50 years. And 50 years is just 2,500 weekends. Do we really need to get so worked up? …It’s OK, Bunk few classes, score low in couple of papers, take leave from work, fall in love, fight a little with your spouse… It’s ok… We are people, not programmed devices..! “Don’t be serious, enjoy Life as it comes”

Life in her journey offers you opportunities in the form of hurdles, challenges or defined pathways.

The Choice is up to each of us to be who we want to be in that moment of decision.

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I have in my moments of indecision and conflict relied on listening to my inner guide. My three words for this year’s journey are : Explore, Overcome and Grow.

Are you willing to go on a journey within & connect with yourself ?

In all the masks you wear, are you being honest to yourself ?

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Filed Under: Attitude, Character, Habits, Integrity, Lead By Example, Lead From Within, Leadership & Personal Development, Life, Relationships Tagged With: diplomacy, Dogs, Hamlet, honesty, Leadership, leadfromwithin, masks, Ophelia, Revenge

Smile and the World Smiles With You

17 June 2014 By Lalita Raman Leave a Comment

Photo Credits : Lalita Raman

Photo Credits : Lalita Raman

I was conducting a group coaching session few weeks back and one of the participants didn’t smile throughout the first day. Every time I looked at this participant and engaged with her, the smile was missing, no matter what the discussion or activity was. The participant got the benefit of the group coaching and this was evident from her feedback and by her behavior towards the end of the session on day 3.

Smile was something she never associated with the business world. She lived so much in achieving her goal and when she was in that frame of mind, she forgot to smile. She forgot that smiling made her look natural and less stressed when she was communicating and engaging in the business world.

Have you observed that in the Doctor’s waiting room there is rarely a smile visible. Two years back, I was waiting at the Doctor’s clinic, for an X-ray, since I had a bad fall and a suspected fracture. There was no one in the waiting room for the Radiologist, so when he came up to me and asked me who was the patient, I was taken aback. I told him that I am the patient who is waiting to get an X-ray done on my ankle. He couldn’t believe it and the reason he stated was because I was smiling!

Yes, hospitals and doctors’ clinic waiting room are typically bereft of a smile. There is an atmosphere of glum and this fuels the negativity that exists in that moment in our own minds.

Smiling when one is undergoing a challenge, adversity or pain is difficult but not impossible.

Have you noticed how babies win the heart of others by their wonderful and spontaneous smile ?

Dogs are a hit with dog lovers. They are so glad to see you and there is no one who welcomes you the way your dog does. They are so glad to see their human friends that they jump out of their skins and aren’t we glad to see them.

Smile is something we often take for granted. Yet there is magic about a genuine smile.

Why Smile? Smile because

1. It’s worth it.
2. It brings a smile on someone else’s face and makes their day.
3. It makes you happy as much as you make up your mind to be.
4. It eases the challenge and adversity in that moment and sends positive signals to your brain.
5. It minimizes the stress and overwhelm in that moment, thus giving you insights.  Click To Tweet
6. It brings out the humility and humanity in you.
7. It helps you create the right attitude to that moment.
8. It opens the door to new connections and relationships.
9. A spontaneous smile happens in a flash and the memory of it sometimes lasts forever.
10. Nobody needs a smile so much as those who have none left to give in that moment. Click To Tweet

You are your brand and why not be a messenger of good will with your smile. Click To Tweet

For Coaching, Speaking or Training let’s connect.

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Filed Under: Attitude, Character, Coaching, Communication, Emotions, Habits, Lead From Within, Leadership & Personal Development Tagged With: brain, challenge, Dogs, happy, hope, leadfromwithin, life, positive, smile

Never Give Up

29 October 2013 By Lalita Raman 2 Comments

The dog’s action in this video speaks volumes

To me it spoke about

→Compassion

→Be A Friend First To Have One

→Empathy

→Love

→Never Give Up

→Believe In Yourself

→Trust

→Congruence of body language and facial expression, an important element of communication.

What does it tell you ? I would love to hear your thoughts.
What does this teach us about life?
What does this teach us about relationships

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Filed Under: Animals, Lead From Within, Life Tagged With: Compassion, Dogs, Empathy, lead from within, Leadership, life, Love, persistent

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