challenge | Little Things That Matter

Five Successful Behaviors That Leaders Practice To Live Within Their Comfort Zone

4 November 2015 By Lalita Raman Leave a Comment

“I don’t like to be constantly told that I need to step out of my comfort zone. I’m happy where I am.” I was at Starbucks yesterday, waiting for a friend of mine to join me, when this remark caught my attention. The lady who made this remark was looking quite frustrated and was possibly having one of those down and out moments.

Do we constantly need to live out of our comfort zone?

Do we need to constantly push somebody out of their comfort zone?

In 1995, when I came to Hong Kong, I had till then never lived alone nor in a new country/city on my own. I took on a new role within the same organization, that I was working for in India. Here I was, in a new country, new culture, new work environment, new language, new role and yet….I learnt my way through, from my mistakes, believing in myself and not giving into my fears and I continue to live and enjoy this city, 20 years later.

If somebody had mentioned to me that I have to step out of my comfort zone, I probably would not have realized, what that meant, then. All I knew, at that moment in time, was that I have to make a meaningful impact, prove my worth, achieve the department goals and in all this, get a sense of fulfillment and grow in my career path and life.

Yet, when I reflect, I did step out of my comfort zone in several ways throughout my journey of 20 years and continue to do so. If I had not done so, I would not have made the journey to where I am today.

Can we live outside of our comfort zone all the time ? No, in fact, not necessary.

We need time to process our experiences and thus need to come back within our comfort zone. If we are constantly seeking new experiences all the time, we may run the risk of missing out the subtlety and experiences of life. In this day of the technological innovations, breakthroughs, and being connected all the time with our smart phones, change is continuos and the last thing we want, is for the new and interesting to become boring within a short span of time and a sense of apathy to develop.

So, why is there so much importance being given to stepping out of our comfort zone?

We are creatures of our habits and over time, we all gather a set of constricting habits around us—those that we become less conscious of and lull into an auto pilot mode. Some of these habits restrict us from attaining our full potential because we allow ourselves to be dominated by our fears. When you allow some of these not so useful habits to rule you, you will be stuck in a rut.

So how do we motivate ourselves to step out of our comfort zone and yet not make it stressful and nerve wrecking.

1.Have a growth mindset

When you have a growth mindset, you become more aware of opportunities for your self-improvement. Living on an auto pilot mode and continuing the same habits which causes frustration adds to your stress and overwhelm. Challenging yourself to move forward adds that spice and flavor to your life and enables you to achieve progress in your life.

My transitions within the world of investment banking world, where I spent 20 years and switching from a corporate career to running my own business, four years back, has been possible on account of my growth mindset. Research in Neuroscience tells us that our connection to meaningful impact and contribution activates our neural reward networks.

#Learning, #discovering, re-learning helps the neurons in our brains to make new connections.

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2.Change your thoughts

Your thoughts control who you are. If you believe you can’t, you won’t. Living within your comfort zone today, was someday, probably, out of your comfort zone. Living within your comfort zone is good as long as it doesn’t make you stagnant.

How can you expect to progress and move forward in your life if you are not willing to do something with which you are uncomfortable? Anything new is likely to create some uncertainty or discomfort. The first day in your job probably felt uncomfortable and 3-6 months later, you got into the groove.

Give power to your negative thoughts and it starts to control your feelings, words and language and you are not able to break away from the vicious cycle of negativity. Empower your thoughts and the actions that follows as a result.

3.Face Your Fear

Unknown and uncertain things is many times perceived by our brain as a threat. If we allow that fear to dominate us, we become victims of it. A little anxiety may be just what you need to focus your efforts and perform at your peak, psychologists say. Ask yourself how did you overcome some of the fears you had before? What did you learn from that experience? Let logic more than emotion prevail in guiding you to overcome your fears.

“There’s a place for information,” Dr. Taylor (Kathleen Taylor, a professor at St. Mary’s College of California, who has studied ways to teach adults effectively) says. “We need to know stuff. But we need to move beyond that and challenge our perception of the world. If you always hang around with those you agree with and read things that agree with what you already know, you’re not going to wrestle with your established brain connections.”
Such stretching is exactly what scientists say best keeps a brain in tune: get out of the comfort zone to push and nourish your brain. Do anything from learning a foreign language to taking a different route to work.

#Self-confidence comes from believing in yourself and playing to your strengths

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4.Let go

Believe in yourself, the depth of your talent, the power of your ability and the reach of your potential. If you keep doubting yourself, then you will not be able to move forward. Reflect on things you do well, things which challenge you and where you need to improve, and how you can use your strengths to overcome your challenges. Seek the help of a mentor or coach who can be a sounding board and help you get the necessary insights. Let go of being in control of everything in your life. That adds to the overwhelm and stress.

When you change your mind about #stress, it changes your body response too. #transitions

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Viewing the stress response as helpful, the heart still pounds but the way your body responds is similar to when you are in joy and courage. If you think of something as a challenge, which you will enjoy, then you are able to live up to that challenge.

5.Diversity

Whilst learning, growth and development happens outside your comfort zone, seek diversity on things you already do well and within your comfort zone. This will give you the optimal balance of being challenged and in a healthy way. Try out different ways of doing something, you have been doing as a routine. For e.g. If you write every Monday, to publish your blog post and you feel bogged down by sticking to that routine, try changing it to another day. Not every aspect of your life at every stage needs to be viewed as stepping out of your comfort zone.

If using the word “Outside your Comfort Zone”, bothers you and causes agony in you, reframe your communication.

Ask, what do you need to start doing to get to your vision or goal? What do you need to stop doing to achieve your dreams? What do you need to give up to reach your potential ? Enjoy the journey and if you feel you are running on a hamster wheel, Stop, reflect and check if you have pushed yourself way too hard to cause overwhelm and fatigue.

The idea is to move forward and provide yourself motivation to take steps to achieve what you seek and that means to get uncomfortable with the comfortable and comfortable with the uncomfortable. Your growth as a human being and a leader depends on it.

Transitions creates overwhelm and challenges in our life. Some of the changes that we get dealt with are outside our control and some are within our control. How we transition to these changes in our life is entirely up to each of us. Grow and develop or choose to stay stagnant. Consult me for either one-on-one coaching, group training, facilitation, or workshops.

Smile and the World Smiles With You

17 June 2014 By Lalita Raman Leave a Comment

Photo Credits : Lalita Raman

I was conducting a group coaching session few weeks back and one of the participants didn’t smile throughout the first day. Every time I looked at this participant and engaged with her, the smile was missing, no matter what the discussion or activity was. The participant got the benefit of the group coaching and this was evident from her feedback and by her behavior towards the end of the session on day 3.

Smile was something she never associated with the business world. She lived so much in achieving her goal and when she was in that frame of mind, she forgot to smile. She forgot that smiling made her look natural and less stressed when she was communicating and engaging in the business world.

Have you observed that in the Doctor’s waiting room there is rarely a smile visible. Two years back, I was waiting at the Doctor’s clinic, for an X-ray, since I had a bad fall and a suspected fracture. There was no one in the waiting room for the Radiologist, so when he came up to me and asked me who was the patient, I was taken aback. I told him that I am the patient who is waiting to get an X-ray done on my ankle. He couldn’t believe it and the reason he stated was because I was smiling!

Yes, hospitals and doctors’ clinic waiting room are typically bereft of a smile. There is an atmosphere of glum and this fuels the negativity that exists in that moment in our own minds.

Smiling when one is undergoing a challenge, adversity or pain is difficult but not impossible.

Have you noticed how babies win the heart of others by their wonderful and spontaneous smile ?

Dogs are a hit with dog lovers. They are so glad to see you and there is no one who welcomes you the way your dog does. They are so glad to see their human friends that they jump out of their skins and aren’t we glad to see them.

Smile is something we often take for granted. Yet there is magic about a genuine smile.

Why Smile? Smile because

1. It’s worth it.
2. It brings a smile on someone else’s face and makes their day.
3. It makes you happy as much as you make up your mind to be.
4. It eases the challenge and adversity in that moment and sends positive signals to your brain.
5. It minimizes the stress and overwhelm in that moment, thus giving you insights. Click To Tweet
6. It brings out the humility and humanity in you.
7. It helps you create the right attitude to that moment.
8. It opens the door to new connections and relationships.
9. A spontaneous smile happens in a flash and the memory of it sometimes lasts forever.
10. Nobody needs a smile so much as those who have none left to give in that moment. Click To Tweet

You are your brand and why not be a messenger of good will with your smile. Click To Tweet

For Coaching, Speaking or Training let’s connect.

What Is Your Leadership MOJO?

25 February 2014 By Lalita Raman Leave a Comment

Last Saturday, I watched the movie The Monuments Men accidentally. I was under the impression that I had booked for The Wolf of Wall Street and didn’t realize till I walked into the cinema hall and after the movie started, that I had been given tickets to The Monuments Men. I’m glad I made a choice to watch it not so much for the movie but in learning about the Monuments Men.

This movie is based on the true story of the greatest treasure hunt in history, the film is an action drama focusing on an unlikely World War II platoon, tasked by FDR with going into Germany to rescue artistic masterpieces from Nazi thieves and returning them to their rightful owners. In the last year of the war, they tracked, located, and in the years that followed returned more than five million artistic and cultural items stolen by Hitler and the Nazis. But as the Monuments Men, as they were called, found themselves in a race against time to avoid the destruction of 1000 years of culture, they would risk their lives to protect and defend mankind’s greatest achievements.

There is a scene in the movie towards the end where George Stout, given the name of Frank Stokes played by George Clooney is asked whether it was worth the life of a man in his team to save the Madonna of Bruges and he says yes. He is also asked do you think 30 years down the line people will still remember that a man gave up his life to save this piece of art………..?

As that dialogue was going on, it struck me that I have been to so many museums but had never viewed any art from the point of view of someone having risked their life or given up their life to save a particular piece of art. Until yesterday, I was not aware about the history of the Monuments Men and their unprecedented effort in protecting and securing various pieces of art despite extraordinary efforts.

Let’s examine our daily lives….

How many times in day-to-day life have you as a leader in an organization or even as a human being taken time and effort to understand the story of your team or coworkers ?
Have you challenged yourself not to judge someone by their looks or their behaviors?
Have you seemed to explore why people behave the way they do ?
In your talent management process

→ Have you found out what drives a candidate to do what they do best?

→ How have they acted during times of pressure and crisis?

→ How did they demonstrate Emotional Balance during periods of adversities?

→ What are the ways they have shown their ability in dealing with new projects or things beyond their comfort zone?

Are you willing to challenge yourself on something in your daily life that you have taken for granted or attended to within your comfort zone?

During my readings this week, I came across this Ted Video by Roselinde Torres, who has asked three key questions in determining what makes a great leader

Where Are You Looking To Anticipate Change ?

What is the diversity measure of your network ?

Are you courageous enough to abandon the past ?

The Monuments Men went beyond their comfort zone and risked their lives to retrieve art that was stolen. Whilst our acts may not be that monumental, what we can seek to do with the world we are in is to ask

♠ How can I influence someone’s life positively ?

♠ Who will I choose to engage with?

♠ Am I willing to choose the unknowing to create the pathway to the unknown possibilities of the future?

♠ Am I willing to look at things from a fresh perspective ?

We seek to create our own lives by the choices we make and the chances we take. Are you ready to carve your pathway?

Isn’t leadership about seeing the positive potential in others, building trust and rapport, being genuinely interested in others, willingness and drive to help others, arousing enthusiasm among people and championing a common vision?

For one on one coaching, speaking, training, workshops and speaking please contact me.

photo credits

Leadership and The Art of Taking On A Challenge

26 November 2013 By Lalita Raman 2 Comments

I go the gym daily and on Sunday I decided to try something different and attended a class called Bosu Blast.

Trying anything new is challenging but this workout was more daunting than I had expected.

As I was trying to balance myself, step in and out of the BOSU ball, I realized that I not only had to maintain my balance but control the right muscles to be able to maintain my stability, use my core, and be quick and coordinated with the music and the rest of the class. Phew, easier said than done.

I was lost in the first five to seven minutes, especially on some of the moves and to top the discomfort, I lost my balance and twisted my ankle.

At that moment, I decided to control my monkey mind and focus on what I wanted to achieve, learn which muscles I need to control to maintain my balance and yet be agile. Bottom line, I decided not to be spooked by a ball but believe in myself.

The workout was for an hour and after adopting the attitude of dare, try, observe, learn, I thoroughly enjoyed the last 40 minutes. No, I was not close to being perfect but I had a good cardio workout, and was ready to challenge myself for the same class next time.

Doesn’t life present us with many situations similar to this ?
What makes the difference in that moment of choice and decision?
What can we do as leaders in daily life and in our organizations ?

Every time we face a new or uncomfortable situation most of us experience negative thoughts and emotions.

Do we buy into our negative thoughts, feelings and emotions? OR
Do we run away from them and avoid them like a barge pole ? OR
Do we recognize those emotions and make a conscious decision to overcome them?

What can you do as a leader?

Structure – an essential discipline in every leader. You need to believe in yourself. Remember, your team draws on your confidence, ability and strength to lead the organization to its vision. Structure gives you the boundaries within which you know you have to operate but not necessarily restrict to.
Independent – you need to think independently as to what will work for you, your team and your organization in that moment of choice. Of course you can’t be in the know about everything. Drawing the synergy of the necessary resources is something that should come naturally to you as a leader. Reflect and introspect so that you have your moments of insight to enable you to make sound decisions and judgments.
Collaboration – as a leader you are not expected to know everything. Brainstorming ideas and collaborating with your team, will engage and enable them to use their strengths and talents to work towards the vision.
Creativity – you test your limits in challenging situations. As a leader you need to go out of your comfort zone to grow, develop, welcome changes and face bumps on the road.
Emotional self-awareness and emotional self-control – you need to be mentally strong to manage your thoughts, feelings, emotions and words. Being achievement oriented, having a positive outlook and a strong EI will enable you to reach your vision. As a leader, seek to look at the big picture but at the same time do not forget the short-term steps required to achieve your long-term vision. Have the mental agility and toughness to face uncertainties and learn from your mistakes,

→As a leader, are you ready to influence and inspire by being resilient, empathetic and adaptable?

→What are the performance distinguishing competencies that you aspire to develop and achieve as a leader?

→How do you seek to influence those whose lives you touch?

Five Successful Behaviors That Leaders Practice To Live Within Their Comfort Zone