Businesses and organizations run because of the people, the relationships and the connections between people. When we network with people we look for common interests or topics to break the ice, strike a conversation and thereafter get into a discussion. In a business scenario, during interviews, a set of questions is asked by different people in an organization of a potential candidate. In each of these situations, be it at work (or in daily life), there is  judgment being made based on skills, qualifications, the ability to make an elevator speech, the way a person talks or present themselves, all of which are external factors.  Also, in today’s age of social media, there is an eagerness to strike a conversation with people who have large number of followers, or if they are famous. Again these are extrinsic factors. However, part of the judgment rests with our own gut feel or our intuition.

In today’s world there seems to be a lot of communication and modes of communication but is real connection happening? Leaders connect because they are human and understand that trust and rapport can’t be built without real connection. Meaningful communication is possible only with real connection.

How do you connect? Do you judge based on peripheral factors or do you take a look at the person intrinsically?

Ten Key Questions that enable you to make a connection with a person.

1. Do you take time to understand the person, their values?

2. Does their behavior and actions reflect their values?

3. How do they treat people who have no titles, or may be a waiter at a restaurant or a receptionist or a security guard?

4. How do they behave in situations of vulnerability ? Do they stand up for a good cause and speak up or tend to adopt a herd mentality?

5. Do they seem eager to prove their authenticity? Are they being too ostentatious in a large social gathering?

6. Do they carry a narcissistic attitude? One that can be observed from their talk to listen ratio.

7. In social media, there are several people who talk about engaging and sharing content. There are also many people in real life who have the gift of gab? Key here is, do they really walk their talk? Is their audio and video congruent?

8. Do they demonstrate empathy or are they too self-centered? Do they carry a positive energy in the way they behave?

9. Do they tend to be solution focused or just a naysayer?

10. How self-aware is this person? How do they react to feedback?

Listening and Observing, both in real life and in the virtual world, is important in connecting, building and maintaining relationships with people.  Skills, qualifications can be stated whereas character & attitude can only be observed and helps you to determine who a person is?

If you aspire to connect and grow as a leader, you need to understand yourself and others better. When you know people care about you and understand you, it makes a lasting connection.

How well are you connecting with people?

What are the Choices you make while connecting with people?