Rapport – Key To Building Trust

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Rapport is one of the first steps in building trust in a relationship. Talking in terms of other person’s interests, being a good listener and encouraging others to talk about themselves enables us to make that connection to others and build a rapport.

Rapport however is not static.  Even in a trusted relationship rapport is a continuous process.
“Every cell in the body is continuously changing. Thoughts and emotions rise and fall away unceasingly. When we’re thinking that we’re competent or that we’re hopeless — what are we basing it on? On this fleeting moment? On yesterday’s success or failure? We cling to a fixed idea of who we are and it cripples us. Nothing and no one is fixed. Whether the reality of change is a source of freedom for us or a source of horrific anxiety makes a significant difference. Do the days of our lives add up to further suffering or to increased capacity for joy? That’s an important question”. Pema Chodron
Life is a roller coaster and sometimes we struggle with accepting what life throws at us. People and situations are unpredictable and so is every moment that is unpredictable. An essential part of continued rapport is the attitude we take to each moment. We know that change is part of us and everything around us is fleeting and impermanent. Yet we take rapport in the relationships so much for granted. Isn’t rapport essential to continued trust ? How do you build sustained harmony and trust ? Read on from the Archives Do You Value Trust?

What Michael Jackson Teaches Us About Leadership and Life?

On Sunday, I watched the Michael Jackson THE IMMORTAL World Tour show by Cirque Du Soleil. I’ve always been a big fan of Cirque Du Soleil. There is a lot to be learnt about life and leadership from their shows, which I shall cover in a later post.

Watching the show, I couldn’t help think about the impact that Michael Jackson made through his music and his songs. His songs had and have a lot to offer on love, life, leadership, humanity, team spirit, togetherness, leaning in, and every little things that matters in life.  Despite several criticisms, if you look at the legend that this man was, you will realize that Michael Jackson expressed his charisma, hope, humanity, compassion, sincerity and love through his music.

Some of my favorite Michael Jackson quotes are:

“Hope is such a beautiful word, but it often seems very fragile. Life is still being needlessly hurt and destroyed.” ― Michael Jackson

In a world filled with hate, we must still dare to hope. In a world filled with anger, we must still dare to comfort. In a world filled with despair, we must still dare to dream. And in a world filled with distrust, we must still dare to believe.” ― Michael Jackson

“If you enter this world knowing you are loved and you leave this world knowing the same, then everything that happens in between can be dealt with.” ― Michael Jackson

What can you learn from MJ’s music?

1. **The Earth**

Extract of the lyrics

What about sunrise
What about rain
What about all the things
That you said we were to gain…
What about killing fields
Is there a time
What about all the things….
Did you ever stop to notice
All the blood we’ve shed before
Did you ever stop to notice
This crying Earth
This weeping shores?
……What have we’ve done to the world
Look what we’ve done
What about all the peace
That you pledge your only son…
What about flowering fields….

In 1995,  he raised awareness about the destruction that our acts are causing to Mother Nature and our Planet Earth.  The lyrics in his music not only asked relevant questions but also made an appeal to save our Planet Earth.

♣Don’t we as human beings need to take notice of our actions in all we are and all we do?♣

 2. **We are the world**

Extract of the lyrics 

There comes a time when we heed a certain call When the world must come together as one There are people dying And it’s time to lend a hand to life The greatest gift of all…

We can’t go on pretending day by day

That someone, somewhere will soon make a change We all are a part of God’s great big family And the truth, you know, Love is all we need We are the world, we are the children We are the ones who make a brighter day So let’s start giving There’s a choice we’re making We’re saving our own lives It’s true we’ll make a better day Just you and me….

This is a song of hope, love and one that asks us to think, are we not all part of God’s larger family and if so why the hate, conflict, selfishness and war?

 ♣Don’t we need to be mindful of our actions?♣

♣Don’t we need to be aware in our moments of choice?♣

♣Are we thinking about the consequences of each of our choices and resultant action or inaction?♣

3. **Heal the World**

Extract of the lyrics 

There’s A Place In
Your Heart
And I Know That It Is Love
And This Place Could
Be Much
Brighter Than Tomorrow
And If You Really Try
You’ll Find There’s No Need
To Cry…..
There Are Ways
To Get There
If You Care Enough
For The Living
Make A Little Space
Make A Better Place…
Heal The World
Make It A Better Place
For You And For Me
And The Entire Human Race…

♣At every moment of choice let us ask yourself, are we being mindful?♣

♣Are we being human?♣

♣Are we making the world a better place?♣

♣How are we caring?♣

4. **The Man In The Mirror**

Extract of the lyrics 

I’m gonna make a change
For once in my life
It’s gonna feel real good
Gonna make a difference
Gonna make it right….
I’m starting with the man in the mirror
I’m asking him to change his ways
And no message could have been any clearer If you want to make the world a better place
Take a look at yourself, and then make a change……

♠Change begins with me and each of us and there is no point in pointing fingers and engaging in the blame game.♠

 ♣How are you holding yourself accountable?♣

♣How are you being a responsible person?♣

5. **Keep The Faith**

Extract of the lyrics

If You Call Out Loud
Will It Get Inside
Through The Heart Of Your Surrender
To Your Alibis
And You Can Say The Words
Like You Understand
But The Power’s In Believing
So Give Yourself A Chance
‘Cause You Can
Climb The Highest Mountain
Swim The Deepest Sea, Hee
All You Need Is The Will To Want It
And Uhh, Little Self-Esteem
So Keep The Faith
Don’t Let Nobody Turn You ‘Round
You Gotta Know When It’s Good To Go
To Get Your Dreams Up Off The Ground

♠Believing and trusting in yourself is imperative. Keep the hope up and never give up on yourself. Surround yourself with positivity and people who encourage and support you.♠

 ♣How are you boosting your confidence?♣

♣How do you help yourself feel it till you make it?♣

♣What is your support infrastructure?♣

♣How are you benefiting from it?♣

Each of these songs and the lyrics is applicable in daily life, in situations of leadership in life and within organizations, in despair, in hope, in believing in others and yourself and in spreading love and peace. A message of hope, love, care, and giving is what he left with each of us in his music.

Reflective Questions 

♦How are you going to be who you want to be?♦

♦How are you going to leave your impact on this world?♦

 

Coach: Why You Must Hire One AND Top 12 Questions to Ask

With the information overload that we have on a daily basis from Social Media, and the Internet, many times you find it difficult to get to where you want to go.

Let’s say you are a top performing executive in an organization and have consistently surpassed your targets. You have never shirked responsibility nor have you disappointed in your commitments. However, you feel you are reaching a saturation point and are not able to grow. You speak to your boss and he tells you to enroll in a leadership and motivational course. He also sends you some web links to read. You attend the course for 2 days, you read all the links he sent you and add some of them to your other regular reading sources.

Yet, you feel that you are not able to make the progress you want to make. You have tried to tell this again to your boss, Human Resources and other seniors within the organization but to no avail. You don’t want to leave the company but sometimes you feel that is probably the best option available.

On line, group trainings will not be able to help you in your transition because they are not tailor-made to address your individual roadblocks. Most leadership programs are too general to provide opportunities for intensive personalized work.

A Coach is someone who can help you. No, the person doesn’t need to be in your field of expertise.

Coaching is a process to unlock a person’s potential to maximize their own performance. It is essentially a conversation, a dialogue between the coach and the client which focuses on improvement of skills and concrete results.

Steps to take before you hire a coach and the questions to ask…

For the full post click on this LINK

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Do You Value Trust?

I’m not upset that you lied to me, I’m upset that from now on I can’t believe you.” ― Friedrich Nietzsche.

Did you know that Trust is an important part of every fraction of a second of our lives,  in all we do and in the way we conduct ourselves. And yet many a time we undermine the value of Trust and may take it for granted.

A strong foundation of any human relationship is based on Trust. Without Trust, life becomes lonely. Trust is what allows us to have meaningful relationships with other people. Trust is knowing that you will do the same thing irrespective of whether someone is looking at you or not.

When one is Trusted there is a feeling of belonging, safety, and it appeals to the soul. Once the Trust is broken, I believe it is worse than fixing a broken mirror, because the relationship never comes back to the sanctity it originally carried.

Do we really use Trust in every walk of our life?

1. Child & Parent – When a child first learns to climb up and decides to take  a leap from the chair or table confidently into the hands of his/her Mother’s or father’s extended hands, there is immense trust in that act.

2. Spouse – no marriage can last unless there is Trust between the husband and wife.

3. Friend – when you Trust a person as a friend, and you confide in that person you trust that this friend will not harm you or hurt you or tease you or misuse the information you have shared. Good friendship is based on trust, respect and love.  Friendship will crumble once the trust breaks.

4. Siblings –  Trust is imperative to a good relationship between siblings.

5. Life – Have you realized that when you hire a taxi, you trust the taxi driver to take you to your destination, charge no more than the fare indicated by the taxi meter and at the end of the journey, you trust the driver to return the change. Trust is what it takes when you open a bank account, when you walk into a shop to buy something, or  eat at a Restaurant.

6. Start-ups – As a Start-up Entrepreneur you face a tough time to convince people of your vision,not because you don’t have an appetite for hard work. But as a Startup, there is a deficit of Trust. It takes time to earn the same and these days it is probably even more difficult because there are one too many who take you for a ride.

7. Trust Yourself – If you don’t then no one else will. You are your best friend and need to believe in yourself.

How does Trust help? 

1. At the work place – When I’m trusted, I’m motivated to do even better and take on new challenges and explore the path not taken.

2. Trust builds loyalty without bonds in day-to-day life.

3. Trust is about authenticity and  helps to build a rapport.

4. Trust is about reliability and consistency and walking that path in every walk of life.

Life continually evolves. We’re constantly moving into new experiences, new possibilities. Life is a flux and the solace we find is the Trust we place on our relationships and that placed on us.

Life becomes joyful when we remain open to the constant flow and ride freely with it. We thus need to learn to Trust.

What does Trust mean to you?  Please share your views in the comments section. Thank you

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