One of my sister’s friends’ colleague Anita, submitted her resignation recently, since she had found another job. Whilst she was serving her notice period, she still kept hoping that she would be asked to stay in her current organization. She was almost nearing the end of her notice period when my sister’s friend asked Anita why she wanted to stay back. Anita did not have any job in hand. She had pulled a fast one since she believed in doing so, she would get a salary hike with her current company.
You have probably heard of “Fake it till you Make it” ever so often. I have always wondered about this statement.
Do you fake
→your values, authenticity, talents and skills?
→your job, salary, what you can afford
→your emotions, compliments and the way you articulate
→who you are
Fake it till you make it or become it seems to be losing its essence in the way people are using it. I have always understood “Fake it Till You Make it” as, to get over your negative self talk, to believe in yourself, to achieve your dreams and not have your inner critique take over.
From when did it become not being authentic, or being a hypocrite or lying about who you are or what you have?
There are many Anita’s I hear about or meet and I look at them and wonder
♣why do you do what you do?
♣would you rather put on a facade and continue the path of self-deception or be true to your inner self?
♣how long will you keep running away from your inner voice?
♣what would you be proud of yourself and who you are today?
♣what legacy do you want to leave behind in people’s hearts?
♣are you putting away your darkest fears and doubts by being who you are not ?
Psychological research shows that the self-fulfilling prophecy works for both negative and positive predictions, indicating, again, that the beliefs you hold have an impact on what happens to you. And in making something happen, you got to believe that it is possible and you are capable. This extends to your confidence with respect to public speaking, being able to deliver a presentation or a project. The placebo effect works when applied to build and boost your confidence, when you have the skill set, and are adequately prepared.
We all have moments when we need to fake the confidence, to believe we can do it.By allowing yourself to build and applaud that skill that you have needs to be practiced without any intentional deceit or harm.
Reflective Questions
♣Are you doing what you are doing to establish credibility?
♣What are your core values? Does your behavior and actions reflect your values?
♣How are you living in alignment with your values?
♣Are you building or harming your character in getting over your negative beliefs ?
Wow. What an opening story to set the tone for this post! Made me think about “fake it till you make it” in a whole new context. When we create deceptions in our lives to create a smokescreen that looks like a truth – all too often it does not work and is a very painful process.
Great one, Lalita!
Thank you Alli. Smokescreen it is created by many to get away from the truth and not face life. Fake It Till You Make It has been misconstrued and misused by many to run away from problems.
Thank you for reading, sharing and commenting. I appreciate your continued support Alli.
i think faking helps in the making of things on a minor scale or temporary phase with little time happiness… but sometimes it may create a bad break in your career. Making a mistake for which you could only regret would not be good sign on the career path, but having another opportunity to rectify your mistake will definitely help you to get land up somewhere in the journey of life…
Thank you for your comment.
A mistake is called so because one learns from mistakes and rectifies it. However, when people put a facade and repeat telling lies, it is not called a mistake.
Fake it till you make it is not meant to put a smokescreen in front of others and run away from the challenges of life. It is not meant to be used to take someone for a ride.
Hi Lalita,
Fake it till you make it — to me — still is the essence of overcoming negative self talk. It doesn’t mean abandoning your values or committing fraud.
You ask a very interesting question — when did it change its meaning? I wonder if it’s negative meaning evolved as society began to exalt all the negatives. What makes the news? Bad things.
Or perhaps as civility and etiquette were mislabeled as fake, “fake it till you make it” got wrapped in that same disregard.
In any case, the message is till clear in my mind. Put your best foot forward and that includes positive affirmations, civility, etiquette, and generosity. All of it makes it comfortable for others to be around you and you them.
Great post. I will tweet it and share on my streams!
Warmest wishes,
Kate
Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach™
Thank you Kate. For me Fake It Till You Make It means to get over by negativity and not to compromise my values or positivity or generosity.
You make a valid point when you say out your best forward with positive affirmations, civility, etiquette, and generosity.
Yes, somewhere along the way the essence of Fake It Till You Make it got wrapped in some other agenda.
Thank you for your beautiful insight Kate, I appreciate you.
Lalita!
I had to come see, right the moment I saw the title of this post! Ha! I actually continue to argue this exact point. And I couldn’t agree with you more. Acknowledging who you ARE, ALL you will be; is one thing and entirely different than being dishonest. A lie is a lie.
The beautiful power of our minds, when we know ourselves, when we can see our own strengths AND weaknesses, when we work to hone those strengths to greater power and put everything we have into improving our own weaknesses, and THEN tell the world exactly what we want, who we are AND that we are willing to give everything to be ALL that… that’s when the universe listens.
The universe, our Higher Power, the Lord God; They ~ It ~ He; IS listening. And we DO have that power.
You might like mine… (am I allowed to put it here??) Mmm…
Oh shoot, now I don’t think I should! LOL, it’s title is the same as yours, please visit!
Thank you Amber Lee. You have eloquently expressed the power of our minds and how we need to use it to grow and develop rather than hinder our well being and live on a path of insincerity and dishonesty.
I wish you had stated what you wanted to so badly say. Suspense grows :P. yes I can’t wait to visit your blog.
Thank you so much for your beautiful comment. Loved it.
Lalita, there are some areas of my life that I think might be considered “faking it until I make it”; but they deal with close-to-the-chest very personal life aspects and I don’t feel that sharing every one of them with “open honesty” is helpful to my general audience. For instance when I’m not feeling up to par, I rarely answer the “how are you” question with anything other than “I’m fine”. No one wants to hear every ache/pain, ha!
However, in professional lie, especially when speaking to a group, I find it best to openly admit that I might be out of the comfort zone. In other words let my audience know how I feel. I’ve found it sets everyone at ease; especially me.
I agree with those who’ve said they still believe the phrase refers to our inner life and how we deal with self-talk; negative or positive. Unfortunately due to an over emphasis of the phrase used in direct sales/networking marketing circles as a “training tool”; it has taken on a jaded meaning. I suggest we move back to it’s original meaning.
Thanks for excellent food for thought!
Warmly,
Linda
Thank you Linda for sharing your insight. I’m with you in what you have shared. Yes it helps to be positive and replace self criticism by positive self talk. Better to feel positive and encourage ourself rather than fake it till you make it. I’ve seen the latter being misused and a different connotation being attached.
The word Fake in my view sets a wrong tone and start. Rather have Feel positive and encourage yourself by positive talk.