Little Things That Matter

Learn From The Past, Live The Present and Have An Open Mind to Face Tomorrow

The Art of Listening

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“Many a man would rather you heard his story than granted his request.”—Phillip Stanhope, Earl of Chesterfield.

Each of us go through a lot of stress each day.  Most of us start our day early, go to work, and we know each day that we need to get adequate sleep, we need to exercise, probably meet few friends, eat  a meal, read, listen to music, make time for family & near and dear ones and how can we forget the need to keep up to date on social media. And there are many days where demands from work could be challenging.

Most of  us have a stressful day, which could be good stress or bad stress. However there is a very thin line between good and bad stress. Many times it may be an innocent email or a response from someone or waiting in a traffic jam that sets the trigger for an outburst that is beyond our control. And we complain, we get irritable and that possibly sets a contagion effect on many around us.

But what is the most demanding feeling that most of us go through at a time when we are stressed and feel like we are about to breakdown. To be Listened?

What if at a vulnerable moment someone reached out to you in an act of generosity and listened to you or gave you a hug or volunteered to share your work, wouldn’t we feel nice?

1. Listen- To Listen without judgement, without competing and contributing. Just being there for somebody in heart and soul. True understanding lies in empathizing with the other’s person’s challenge.

I was at the Samaritans pre-selection course last Sunday and during the full day selection procedure, biggest take away for me was that we all can be Samaritans on a daily basis to our near and dear ones, and to our colleagues.

I respect the Samaritans for the service that they run, where they don’t know the caller and yet listen without any contributions or tipping the caller in the wrong way especially the vulnerable ones.

2. Empathize – We can acknowledge what each other is facing by just listening in and making sure that the other party knows that you understand that they are in a tough spot.  Basically acknowledge that you hear what they are saying without contributing your opinion.

3. Help Out – Where the situation demands and you think you can help out, offer to help the person out no matter if this person is your spouse, friend or a colleague.

I know it made my day just being at the Samaritans pre-selection program. Think about a day when someone has listened to you and has made you feel good.  Act of listening to another person makes the listener feel a sense of happiness.

We all can offer this on a daily basis especially in today’s world where we hide behind Social Media and chats.  Let’s not lose the personal touch.  The most basic of all human needs is to understand and be understood.  The best way to understand someone is to listen.

“Effective listeners remember that “words have no meaning – people have meaning.” The assignment of meaning to a term is an internal process; meaning comes from inside us. And although our experiences, knowledge and attitudes differ, we often misinterpret each other’s messages while under the illusion that a common understanding has been achieved.”Lary Barker 

10 Things to Learn from Japan

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A lot more than 10 things to learn from Japan and her people. But these 10 things stands out and we indeed need to learn these awesome qualities that the world witnessed during one of the toughest times that Japan and her people went through.

I bow down to you, the people in Japan and pray for you.

1. THE CALM

Not a single visual of chest-beating or wild grief. Sorrow itself has been elevated.

2. THE DIGNITY
Disciplined queues for water and groceries. Not a rough word or a crude gesture.

3. THE ABILITY
Case in point being The incredible architecture – Buildings swayed but didn’t fall.

4. THE GRACE
People bought only what they required for the present, so everybody could get something. There were no signs of hoarding.

5. THE ORDER
No looting in shops. No honking and no overtaking on the roads. Just empathy.

6. THE SACRIFICE
Fifty workers stayed back to pump sea water in the N-reactors. How will they ever be repaid?

7. THE TENDERNESS
Restaurants cut prices. An unguarded ATM is left alone. The strong cared for the weak.

8. THE TRAINING

The old and the children, everyone knew exactly what to do and they translated that into action.

9. THE MEDIA

They showed magnificent restraint in the bulletins. No silly reporters. Only calm reportage.

10. THE CONSCIENCE
When the power went off in a store, people put things back on the shelves and left quietly



Pain & Fulfillment

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Life has a lot of ups & downs & in the end what matters is how each of us, you & me, have come out of this roller coaster & still face life & the challenges!
I don’t have a problem with challenges as long as I evolve & learn something & this learning takes me to a new level.

I was feeling low today & in my quest to read something inspiring came across this quote which resonated my thoughts…

I am willing to put myself through anything; temporary pain or discomfort means nothing to me as long as I can see that the experience will take me to a new level. I am interested in the unknown, and the only path to the unknown is through breaking barriers, an often painful process. – Diana Nyad

Life is a rollercoaster,
Just gotta ride it………..Isn;t it???

Road to Nowhere

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“We’re on a road to nowhere
Come on inside
Takin’ that ride to nowhere
We’ll take that ride……..”

Don’t we all feel, many a time, that we are on A Road to Nowhere.

….But with enthusiasm, courage, love & passion each of us can take the unknown journey & Make this World A Better Place.

Let’s Strive to Make this World Slightly Better Each Day………

“We’re on a road to nowhere
Come on inside
Takin’ that ride to nowhere
We’ll take that ride……..”

Don’t we all feel, many a time, that we are on A Road to Nowhere But with enthusiasm, courage & passion each of us can take the unknown journey & Make this World A Better Place.

Let’s Strive to Make this World Slightly Better Each Day………

Top 5 Places To Visit in Hong Kong

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When you travel to any place, things that most of us look for are the beauty of the place- natural or historical, good food, hotels, shopping, and warm hospitality. The below 5 spots have been chosen by me as my Top 5 favorites which encompasses these features.

As you leave the airport and either take the train or taxi, you will see the magnificent Tsing Ma Bridge, , the world’s longest span suspension bridge carrying both road and rail traffic, is the key connection between Hong Kong and its international airport on Lantau Island.

For further information please click on

http://www.discoverhongkong.com/eng/attractions/nt-tsingma-bridge.html

I.Lantau Island and Giant Buddha Day Trip from Hong Kong

Take a day trip to Lantau Island, Hong Kong’s largest island, and you can discover & enjoy pristine serene beaches, in an otherwise fast pace city, traditional fishing villages, lush valleys, soaring mountains (for some lovely challenging hikes) and spiritual enlightenment. A full day tour includes a guided visit to Po Lin Monastery, the Giant Buddha Exhibition Hall and a 5.7 kilometer cable car journey offering spectacular views of Lantau Island and the South China Sea.



The beauty of Lantau needs to be seen and sensed. Lush greenery, peace and serene valleys is a treat to a City that never sleeps.

For more details on Lantau Island http://www.hkoutdoors.com/lantau-island/lantau-surprises.html

II. Victoria Peak


Victoria Peak is a major tourist attraction for any visitor to Hong Kong. This is the highest point situated on the western side of Hong Kong Island with splendid views of the harbour and the city. One can take a taxi, drive , or take the peak tram from Central. The peak tram is a tram that starts from Central and is a ride that must not be missed especially on the way down. Victoria Peak offers panoramic views of Hong Kong Island, Kowloon and the surrounding islands and the views are spectacular especially on a clear day. There are 3 very good restaurants (with one of them with out-door seating) and some quaint shopping for souvenirs.

From there one can go to the famous fishing village of Aberdeen, Deepwater Bay, Repulse Bay and Stanley. The ride up to these places offers some spectacular views of the greenery in the concrete Hong Kong. You get a view of some of the most beautiful homes and sky rise buildings.  The sky rise apartments are work of one of the best designs of architecture.  Stanley Market in Stanley is one of the must-go places when you visit Hong Kong.  You will find an interesting array of little shops selling silk garments, sportswear, art, Chinese costume jewelry and souvenirs.  An once your are done with your shopping, you can treat yourself  with a good lunch at one of the many restaurants with some of that offer outdoor seating, which is a rarity in HK,

III. Lan Kwai Fong and Soho & Shopping

Lan Kwai Fong on Hong Kong Island is the perfect venue for a night full of fun and pleasure. Jazz clubs, bars, upmarket bistros and pleasant restaurants line the streets.  Lan Kwai Fong is a small square of streets in Central, Hong Kong. The area was dedicated to hawkers before the Second World War, but underwent a renaissance in the mid 1980s. It is now a popular expatriate haunt in Hong Kong for drinking, clubbing and dining. The street Lan Kwai Fong is an L-shape with two ends joining with D’Aguilar Street.  The crowds during special occasions such as Halloween or New Year’s Eve put the place at a literal standstill with the large numbers.

The Soho district in Hong Kong is an entertainment zone located in Central and bordering Sheung Wan, within Central. The name is derived from its location: South of Hollywood Road. Some of my favorites Casual dining places are located in Soho.

The Central-Mid-Levels escalator was built-in 1993; the now vibrant character of Soho is attributed to the creation of the escalator system, which at the time was the longest escalator system in the world. Prior to the escalator construction, the area was populated by many elderly locals, old go-downs and porcelain shops.

Perhaps considered one of the city’s stranger attractions, the Hong Kong Central-Mid-Levels Escalator is used to ferry thousands of workers between the bedroom community of Mid Levels and Central Hong Kong. Built in 1994, the Hong Kong Central -Mid Levels escalator now carries upwards of 60,000 people a day. This is one ride I would not want to miss.

No visit to Hong Kong is ever complete without the shopping. Best places to shop in Central & Admiralty are IFC, Pacific Place, street shopping at Granville Road, Mong Kok, and Causeway Bay for some street and off shoot items.


IV. Ocean Park

Ocean Park Hong Kong is a marine mammal park, oceanarium, animal theme park, situated in Wong Chuk Hang and Nam Long Shan in the Southern District of Hong Kong. Founded in 1977 by the then Governor of Hong Kong Sir Murray MacLehose, Ocean Park has now grown to about 35 attractions and rides. The park has won several awards, including The World’s Seventh Most Popular Amusement Park and 33rd Most Visited Tourist Attractions in the World by Forbes. For further details please click on

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ocean_Park_Hong_Kong

For those of you who enjoy rides and water wold, Ocean Park is one I would highly recommend over Disney Land, Hong Kong.


V. Hikes

Hiking and Hong Kong??  You say no way… Surprisingly Hong Kong is a marvelous place for hiking. I would recommend the easy hikes of Hong Kong Island: the Peak, Mount Butler, and Dragon’s Back. Each of these offers some spectacular views of Hong Kong, Kowloon & Lantau Island. For further details, please click on

http://www.hkoutdoors.com/hiking-and-biking-in-hong-kong/hiking-in-hk.html

There are various other treks and hikes from moderate to difficult and difficult to very tough which I shall not mention for this post.

I hope you enjoyed the virtual visit to Hong Kong and will consider visiting a city that has character, attitude, and a personality.

Racism

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This is a true story. If you are against racism, please share.

I received this story on email from a friend & decided to share it on my blog. The story speaks for itself, so please read on ….

This scene took place on a British Airways flight between Johannesburg , South Africa & London .

A white woman, about 50 years old, was seated next to a black man.

Very disturbed by this, she called the air hostess. “You obviously do not see it then?” she asked. “You placed me next to a black man. I did not agree to sit next to someone from such a repugnant group. Give me an alternative seat.”

“Be calm please,” the hostess replied.

“Almost all the places on this flight are taken. I will go to see if another place is available.”

The hostess went away & then came back a few minutes later.

“Madam, just as I thought, there are no other available seats in Economy Class.

I spoke to the captain & he informed me that there is also no seat in Business Class. All the same, we still have one place in First Class.”

Before the woman could say anything, the hostess continued.

“It is not usual for our company to permit someone from Economy Class to sit in First Class. However, given the circumstances, the captain feels that it would be scandalous to make someone sit next to someone so disgusting.”

The Hostess turned to the black guy, & said, “Therefore, Sir, if you would like to, please collect your hand luggage, a seat awaits you in First Class.”

At that moment, the other passengers, who’d been shocked by what they had just witnessed, stood up & applauded.

Women’s Resilience -The Girl Effect

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“A woman is the full circle.
Within her is the power to create, nurture and transform.”
~ Diane Mariechild ~

A woman has the power to be strong, resilient and vulnerable. As a women, we play different roles -Mother, Daughter, Girl Friend, Wife, Housewife, Various roles in our work lives. Even in World War II, Women played a role in the military, in support services, in factories back home, in concentration camps, and keeping the home fires burning.

In each of these multi faceted role, the trait that stands out most to me is Women’s Resilience. In each of our roles we do our best, come rain or shine.

And Yet, in many developing countries, likes of India, a girl is still thought to be a burden on the family. Even in families, where a girl child is welcomed, many a time,there exists a subtle discrimination, if she is born in a family where they have sons.

Sons are preferred because the perception is that they will look after their parents when they are old, they will help take charge of the family business, where relevant and shine the torch of the family.  In fact, in many an Indian family, girls look after their parents much better than her brothers.

Even in today’s modern world, girls are put under pressure to get married.

Distinction starts from birth where a girl child is stereotyped with the color pink, Barbie dolls, Tea Sets, Ballet, Gymnastics and this article posted by @prajnya re: Gaming & Girls resonates this message eloquently.

http://bit.ly/hyuUzH

Women have far more resilience than men and in fact one needs to remind the women in us that strength does not always come from tolerance, rather from speaking out against violence. A woman should speak up for her rights and assert herself.

Female power involves women taking part in the conversation either in the public arena or at the dinner table, and having the same emotional space in which to do so as men. It means women not having to fear punishment of any kind & be able to speak their mind and heart.

Women need to get out the emotional bondage which many a time the society puts a conscious & unconscious pressure on her.

I had the privilege to be born in a family where independence, respect for women & education for women were and are still considered to be important tenets.  Having grown up in India, I was consciously aware about the discrimination between men and women and I take every opportunity to drive the message of Women’s rights and stopping violence against women.

Let each of us join to Stop FGM, and Violence Against Women in any shape or form.

LINK TO THE WEBSITE –http://www.girleffect.org

A Women’s place in Society??

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A woman often faces cultural prejudice and probably, in many a society, even more so when she makes more money than a man.

I so often read about increasing Violence Against Women & I wonder, if women had more power, would the violence reduce ?? Do we need the involvement of men ?

In my day to day life I have come to realize that Women need to raise their own awareness & voice her opinion even if this means standing against the tide. She needs friends & well wishers who will help her look within her own consciousness for answers, instead of looking to false power to combat false power. She needs people who can treat her as a human being

I’ve always admired Marianne Williamson’s writing, her views & quotes. Her views on women’s treatment in society is eloquently expressed in the below quote :

“Much of the prejudice against women is stored at an unconscious level. Many of those with the most punishing attitudes towards passionate women -and free women are passionate women – consider themselves social liberals, even feminists. Women’s rights seem to them to be of obvious importance, but what is not obvious to them is how much they conspire to keep the lid on female power. Female power transcends what are thought of as “woman’s issues”. Female power involves women taking part in the conversation either in the public arena or the dinner table, and having the same emotional space in which to do so as men. It means women not having to fear punishment of any kind. It means women not having to worry that they will be considered “unfeminine” if they speak up. It means women really coming out to play and getting support for their playing from men as well as women.
Until this is accomplished, political, economic and reproductive freedom will still not be enough. We will not be free until we can speak our minds and our hearts without having to worry that men will crucify us, women will crucify us, the press will crucify us, or our children will be ashamed… Women are still in emotional bondage as long as we feel we have to make a choice between being heard and being loved.
” Marianne Williamson

Beware of The Dangers of The Mobile Phone

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Beware of your mobile phone…no Kidding. When I received the below email from my sister a few days ago, mentioning about her friend’s son’s death, from a mobile phone, I was and am still in shock.

While I may not perch on top of a train to click a photograph or talk on the phone while at the petrol station, there are other things that I do for e.g. talking on the mobile phone while it is charging, or even charging my mobile phone near  the bed and or wooden furniture. I was not aware about the dangers of doing so, till I read this email.

I paste the email below. Please read and share. I have changed the name of the boy to XX since I am publishing this without the consent of the original sender of this email.

“Dear Friends

With deep pains (and tears in my eyes), i am sorry to inform You that yesterday morning, one of my dear friend’s elder son (Mr. XX), age 19, studying in 1st year of engineering, died in Keshvani Hospital, Mumbai. He was admitted in Keshavani Hospital as burned patient.

Reason

4 days back this boy had gone to Amravati (One of the district place located in State of Maharashtra) on study tour. After their study was over, he, his classmates & his teachers, all of them were standing on “Badnera” railway station to catch the train. “Badnera” is the name of the railway station for “Amravati” city.

As soon as they arrived on Badnera Railway station, many of them started taking pictures of their friends using “Mobile Phones” and/or “Digital Camera”. One of them complained that, in his camera, he was not able to capture more number of friends in one frame. He was not able to catch the angle. Another boy suggested that let’s climb on train boogie and take picture so that all of them can be accommodated in single frame.
At that there was one goods wagon (all of them were oil tankers) train resting between 2 main railway lines.

XX climbed up oil boogie. Above his head, 40,000 volts electrical line was passing through. As soon as he clicked the digital camera? 40,000 volt current passed through the camera flash light to his camera and then from his camera to his fingers and then from his fingers to his body. All this happened within fraction of second. Next moment he was thrown from the top. His body was half burned on the spot.

At that time, his father (my friend) was traveling in Bangkok. His many friends in Pune came to know about this via mobile SMS. They instantly arranged air ambulance in Amravati and his burned body was brought to Keshavani Hospital, Mumbai. i was told that this is the best hospital in Mumbai. For 1 and 1/2 day or so he was talking to his relatives. When he was admitted to the hospital, at that time only, doctor informed his relatives that don’t keep great hopes. Because of lot of complex issues in half burned body? He died yesterday morning.

o       Now how many of us are aware about this technological threats & dangers? Honestly, XX and his father was not aware. His family was not aware. Our entire friend circle of more than 12,000, we were not aware. Now should we call ourselves as fully educated and fully knowledgeable people? Please Think of it.

o       ·Please avoid mobile phones on petrol outlets,

o       ·Please avoid talking on mobile phones while driving. i also know many of my friends who do not bother about this good suggestion and each one of them have opted for “Chalta Hai Yaar Attitude”.

o       ·Please avoid talking on mobile phones while they are in charging mode.

o       Please avoid charging mobile phones near Your bed and/or near wooden furniture. Avoid mobile phones near high voltage electrical lines like railway stations and use flash lights.

o       ·My friend, his family members and we all friends learned our lesson with loss of young life. Now Would You like to empower Your friends about this accident so as to avoid future accidents? We can save human life by empowering all the IT users who are in Your network?

Please please…..I request you to send this very important life threatening information to your loved ones…..”