Little Things That Matter

Learn From The Past, Live The Present and Have An Open Mind to Face Tomorrow

On This Father’s Day, a small note of “Thank you”

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Lalita Raman

Lalita Raman

I’ve had the great fortune of growing up with a friend, a mentor who is none else than my Dad. My dad is special to me and my appreciation of him has grown over the years. There is not a moment, I hesitate to share what I have to say with my dad and I think this has been possible only because of the space he has always given in our relationship.

He has always lived his values of integrity, discipline, hard work, empathy and love. He has always encouraged my sister and I to be independent, follow our dreams and to believe in ourself.

Life lessons I have learnt from my dad

1.You are your word and always honor your word.
2.If in doubt, ask questions. Communicate and clarify even in situations of conflict.
3.No matter how bad the situation may be, there is a learning from each of those.
4.Treat people with respect and love.
5.Learn, unlearn, relearn and share.
6.Your inner conscience is your guide and to take the journey within is something I have learnt from my parents.
7.Emotions is an essential part of my life and I need to be emotionally aware and express myself.
8. I have grown up in an environment of healthy discussions, debates and analysis be it of books, movies, TV shows or an incident in our daily lives.
9. Family is very important and always make time for your family.
10. Never be in debt and never borrow.
11. I have the power of choice and I have to face the music of my choices.
12. To live within my means and that my behavior and actions needs to reflect my values.
13. To be ambitious but in chasing my dreams and passion, I should not forget to be gratuitous.
14. To be confident of myself, proud of my achievements but never to un-friend humility.
15. To derive strength in every challenge that I face in life and to be an optimist.

My dad has always loved, cared and looked out for me. He has always understood me, listened, empathized and no amount of words will ever be able to articulate the wonderful Dad that I have.

Does Hope Matter At The Face of Destiny?

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How many times have you heard people say , “You Control Your Destiny” and not vice versa.

How do you progress in life?

How do you achieve what you are passionate about ?

How do you translate your vision into action ?

How do you on a day-to-day basis get to where you want to be ?

Each of us have our dreams, our passions, our purpose in life which drives us and makes us come alive ?

Without putting an effort our dreams would never get fulfilled, if we leave everything to destiny.

Yet Destiny plays an imperative role in our journey of life, one we can’t change.

Do I believe in destiny?

Recent events in my life have convinced me that we can’t change our destiny. Two of my close family members are facing destiny, as I type this.

My Father in law is battling with his life for the past two months in the ICU and my mother’s health seems to be on a continuous downtrend.  Doctors and family members are doing everything they can. Prayers, medications, enquiries with various experts continue but yet I and others in our family feel helpless.  It feels that Destiny is shaping their life and we are watching helplessly.

Destiny after all controls when we die, and no matter what, none of us can control it. Yes we can control how we live but if we are destined to die in a particular way there is no changing that.  When you go through such events in your life it makes you wonder do we have control over what finally dictates our fate?

My mom has always been very careful with the way she has lived her life. She has always been kind, thankful, and helpful. Though she came from a conservative family, she has always been bold and empowered herself in her journey of life. She has always been meticulous, disciplined and a human being from whom I have learnt a lot. Yet where she stands today, she suffers at the hands of destiny.

I often question as to why her ? Doesn’t the balance sheet of her life need to tally in that when all she has done is good, why make her suffer?

Old age has its own share of miseries some of which may be caused by the way we have lived our younger years and yet others beyond our control.  You may say why worry about things beyond your control. Yes, but when you see your mom suffer and you aren’t able to do anything, you feel helpless and defeated.

Have I given up hope? No, hope is what is taking me through from day-to-day. My mind is restless and the flight from Hope to hope through each moment is what carries me through.  Hope is the power of being cheerful in circumstances which we know to be desperate. –G.K. Chesterton

Extreme hopes are born of extreme misery. –Bertrand Russell

I can only pray for miracles at this stage. I pray that their suffering reduces. I am pained to see my Dad’s pain. He is the best optimist I have always known and yet there are times of despair in his eyes.

My mother in law is a woman of tremendous strength and yet she feels helpless and hopeless that she is not able to do much in being able to reduce the pain and suffering her husband is going through.

Each of our strength and character has been tested in the past several months.

What have I learnt and still learning?   To believe in destiny but yet not give up hope. I have reiterated to myself to be realistic but be positive and be gratuitous to what I have amongst suffering and despair. It is moments of positivity that carries me through. I remind myself to treat life well rather than get hung up on people’s attitudes, ego and arrogance. I consciously avoid the naysayers, the arrogant and egoistic people because they don’t matter. You know your true friends in your life’s challenges. I am learning to value each moment through mindfulness, rather than worry about how tomorrow is going to be.  I don’t want to lose each moment that has been gifted to me with my loved ones.

I don’t want to give up, so God help me.

 

 

Image – linked to the source

Violence Against Women

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Violence Against Women is one of the worst crimes and pandemic that exists in our society. Violence exists because we choose to live with it, we choose to allow women to be treated badly.

Please watch my video below on my views on Violence Against Women and what you can do to put an end to this torture that continues to be inflicted against women.

Violence Against Women

Ten Steps To Nourish and Enjoy Life

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“Bloom where you are Planted” but has the adage now become “Survive where you are Stuck”.

Do we see life more as a culvert of survival or as a garden with significant possibilities for growth and blossoming? Life is a gift to us, which we need to cultivate, nurture, grow, spread kindness and love.

We should always cherish and encourage love, unity, service, generosity, justice and peace in whichever form and shape we can find and weed out all forms of evil, injustice, exploitation, insensitivity and cruelty.

Our greed and selfishness has not only fractured relationships with our family, friends and mankind, but we have severed our ties with Mother Earth. We abuse, torture and exploit Earth and Mother Nature. We must work to fulfil both, ourselves as well as our environment but at the same time care for our environment and not continue to harm Mother Nature but restore her pristine beauty.

“Life is not a bed of roses.” Even if it were, remember that roses bloom with thorns. So let’s sow seeds of life and tackle the hurdles that come our way.

10 STEPS T0 NOURISH AND ENJOY LIFE

1. Smile

An inexpensive way to cheer yourself and others. Make someone’s day and your own by smiling,

2. A kind word or deed– something as simple as Thank you for clearing my trash on a daily basis to the person who clears your garbage daily will make that person’s day. An example of a kind deed could be to help some one on the road if you see them carrying a huge load.

3. Apology – An apology is a proof that you have conquered your ego; it clears your heart and makes you realise that it is human to err. It also means that you value your relationships more than your ego. Would you rather be remembered for your kindness or about winning an argument.

4. Breadth of life –
Every breadth you take and the fact that you wake up each new day is a blessing in itself. Every morning is a symbol of rebirth of life.

5. Food –

The fact that you are able to eat a bare minimum of two meals a day in itself is something to be thankful about.

6. Friends –
Be thankful of the friends you can rely on and call on at any time. What would we do without them. Don;t take them for granted

7. Family– Your parents, your siblings, your spouse and the support they give you to be who you are on a daily basis.

8. Happiness – Happiness is a state of mind on a day to day basis. Words have an immense influence on the receiver and the speaker. Choose your words diligently and let anger not douse them.

9. Attitude – Attitude to anything in life makes a huge difference. We all have hurdles in life but the attitude we have towards each of these will dictate every moment of our day and life. Make it a good one and you will enrich your life and those around you. Having the right positive attitude is something that we need to remind ourselves consciously especially when we are having a challenging day.

10. Passion –
Each of us have our own passion and activities that we engage ourselves passionately in. I’m very passionate about hikes about helping some one in need. While many of us may not be able to engage ourselves in what we are passionate about each and every moment, it is crucial we make time for things we love. Go where you want to go and follow your intitution. Don’t restrict yourself by the boundaries created by others.

All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better. Ralph Waldo Emerson.

Image Source : Smile
Food

I’m A Woman but above all A Human Being

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Many a women are mothers, a bread earner, housewifes, caretaker & a multitasker. Some of the Below quotes by Toni Morrison eloquently expresses the multi-faceted role that a Woman plays.

Hoever, she is rarely appreciated in many a society. She is abused, ill-treated & murdered………

Quotes By Toni Morrison

(Toni Morrison (born Chloe Ardelia Wofford[1] on February 18, 1931) is a Nobel Prize and Pulitzer Prize-winning American author, editor, and professor. Her novels are known for their epic themes, vivid dialogue, and richly detailed black characters. Among her best known novels are The Bluest Eye, Song of Solomon and Beloved).

“I don’t think a female running a house is a problem, a broken family. It’s perceived as one because of the notion that a head is a man.”

“The writing was always marginal in terms of time when the children were small. But it was major in terms of my head. I always thought that women could do a lot of things. All the women I knew did nine or ten things at one time. I always understood that women worked, they went to church, they managed their houses, they managed somebody else’s houses, they raised their children, they raised somebody else’s children, they taught. I wouldn’t say it’s not hard, but why wouldn’t it be? All important things are hard.”

TONI MORRISON, Essence magazine,

“Women’s rights is not only an abstraction, a cause; it is also a personal affair. It is not only about us; it is also about me and you. Just the two of us.”

Arise then Women of this Day

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I was looking for a quote on life & happened to find one of Julia Ward Howe’s quote which I have tweeted.

Julia Ward Howe, was a 19th century social reformer & the first woman elected to the National Institute of Arts & Letters. I wanted to learn more about this woman & in that quest came across this poem. This is a great message to every woman & a message of peace & humanity.

I drew a similar analogy in a message that is conveyed by Kavita Ramdas, a woman, I hold a lot of awe & inspiration for, in the following video,

http://on.ted.com/8Ha1

Message is very simple, no matter what your background, color or race is and even if there are many times when we are powerless to prevent injustice, we as humans & as a woman must never fail to protest & fight for injustice.

Hope you enjoy this poem!

“Arise then…women of this day!
Arise, all women who have hearts!
Whether your baptism be of water or of tears!
Say firmly:
“We will not have questions answered by irrelevant agencies,
Our husbands will not come to us, reeking with carnage,
For caresses and applause.
Our sons shall not be taken from us to unlearn
All that we have been able to teach them of charity, mercy and patience.
We, the women of one country,
Will be too tender of those of another country
To allow our sons to be trained to injure theirs.”

From the bosom of a devastated Earth a voice goes up with
Our own. It says: “Disarm! Disarm!
The sword of murder is not the balance of justice.”
Blood does not wipe out dishonor,
Nor violence indicate possession.
As men have often forsaken the plough and the anvil
At the summons of war,
Let women now leave all that may be left of home
For a great and earnest day of counsel.
Let them meet first, as women, to bewail and commemorate the dead.
Let them solemnly take counsel with each other as to the means
Whereby the great human family can live in peace…
Each bearing after his own time the sacred impress, not of Caesar,
But of God –
In the name of womanhood and humanity, I earnestly ask
That a general congress of women without limit of nationality,
May be appointed and held at someplace deemed most convenient
And the earliest period consistent with its objects,
To promote the alliance of the different nationalities,
The amicable settlement of international questions,
The great and general interests of peace.”