Little Things That Matter

Learn From The Past, Live The Present and Have An Open Mind to Face Tomorrow

Are You “A Wannabe” or “A Go Getter”?

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You meet your friend Jane for a coffee and in the midst of her conversation with you, she remarks, you know I love writing and am planning to write a book. I want to finish writing at least four books before the end of 2013 and publish it over the course of the first quarter in 2014.

You meet her after 3 months and ask her how she is progressing with her book. She says she has made little progress but she is going to focus and get it started with renewed vigor.

You meet Jane again after two months and she has not made any significant progress on her book. It is already July and she is still procrastinating on her first book. You wonder how she is going to make her dream of finishing four books by the end of 2013 achievable.

How often have you heard yourself and others wish similar things?

Are these just dreams or wild wishes that cannot be translated to reality?

I hear an overwhelming “no”, from you. So what makes dreams come into reality ?

We all have dreams. But in order to make dreams come into reality, it takes an awful lot of determination, dedication, self-discipline, and effort – Jesse Owens

What is that creates the gap between dreams and the action required to make this dream happen?

I often ask my clients when they set goals and regret about not achieving it,the following questions

1. What are your wants and should’s?
2. How often do you tend to be driven by your wants and should’s?
3. How often do you make your wants as should’s and turn that as a focal point on any given day?
4. What have you wanted to do and haven’t?
5. What recharges your batteries?
6. What led you to achieve your wants in the past ?

What stands in your way to making your dreams come true ?

1. Passion If you wake up each day and putting efforts in getting closer to achieving your dreams feels like a death sentence, it is time to ask are you driven by that dream? Are you passionate about it and will still seek to achieve it despite the hurdles along your way?

2. Rewards our brains like rewards along the way. In the case of dreams like writing a book, you may not be able to see the immediate reward. For me writing a blog post, translating an idea to a completed blog post gives me a thrill. Every drop in an ocean counts and baby steps are a good way to start anything new. What are these rewards that will make you stay committed in your journey to achieving your dreams?

3. Priorities – each of us have a part of the day when we function our best. For some of us this may be early morning, and yet for others late night. How can you utilize this time more productively. Can you prioritize your day in a manner that you do those activities that require thinking, understanding and being creative during the best part of your day? Do you take adequate breaks to recharge and renew?

4. Communication – is often the key to success in our professional lives and this includes communicating to ourselves as well. What are you telling yourself in terms of your wants? What are you doing to focus the best part of your day to making progress towards your dreams? How are you motivating yourself? How are you shutting off distractions ? Do you take support from friends or other networks?

5. Responsibility – intention to do something and taking action to convert the want to a reality are poles apart. How responsible are you in doing everything within your control? What things if you did them would change your life?

*Every time you think or say you are procrastinating, focus on the how to rather than over analyzing and over thinking on what ifs.*
*What acknowledgement can you give yourself today?*
*In what particular ways are you results oriented in your day-to-day actions?*

Are You An Ode To Your Dogmas?

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We are more than a decade into the twenty-first century and yet we live by dogmas…….

Beliefs rule our work and personal world. Beliefs are more often than not a lie. Beliefs lead us to act or think about something in a way not because we have experienced it but because it is just believed to be true.  Beliefs are not necessarily based on logic. Each of us have our belief system and some of them are acquired along the journey of life or some that is ingrained into us from childhood. Most of them we choose not to question.

I grew up in India, and some of the common beliefs are

– if the husband dies soon after marriage, the wife has brought the bad luck
– widow needs to wear white
– if you are good you will go to heaven when you die
– a marriage is all about compromises
– if a particular dish is cooked in a specific way and this is a family tradition it is carried out from generation to generation without anyone asking why is it done the way it is done & is it necessary?
– crying is bad and makes you weak. Controlling your feelings makes you strong
– when a black cat crosses the road whilst you are walking it is a bad omen

In an organizational context beliefs can take the following shape

  • to join us as a coach or as a leadership trainer, you need to be trained by us. It doesn’t matter if you have been certified.
  • this is the only way to service a customer efficiently and it has worked for us for several years.
  • we will continue to service our existing customers with our existing products and there is no necessity to look at growing our range of products and services we offer to them.

Many of us become so intertwined with our beliefs that we practice it as a behavior & impose it on others. Beliefs are created by some data or knowledge that may have been gathered or gained without actually experiencing it or questioning the logic of the information.

Only when we separate our lives from beliefs and start living based on our own experiences, we start to be in control of our true journey of life.

Impact of beliefs

1. Fear – most people don’t want to question because they Fear that they will be excluded or thought of as unconventional. If I ask questions on their adopted practices, I cut my career progression.  In a larger context, if organizations refuse to break away from their conventional thinking they run the risk of not adapting. They short change themselves from creative thinking, growth, and development.

 2. Happiness – many of us for a large part our lives define success and well-being in terms of the external world. We live in this myth that our happiness is linked to the materialistic world. We continue to seek peace of mind from the external world.

Have you questioned if that gives you peace of mind, happiness and fulfillment?  Have you tried going on an inner journey?

3. Thoughts – Our thoughts reflect in our feelings and our actions. If we refuse to relinquish our deep-seated beliefs, they become our thoughts. These thoughts control us, dictate our actions and define who we are.

Would you like to be known by your beliefs or would you like to live your experiences?

Would you like to limit your potential by these beliefs?

 Let your fear, thoughts or dogmas not restrict your innate potential. Ask relevant questions

  • Have you asked yourself why is something done the way it is done?
  • What is stopping me from getting what I need?
  • Would you rather be part of a group who question, challenge and help you grow rather than agreeing with you on everything you say and do?
  • Are you a product of your beliefs?
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