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Do You Value Trust?

29 April 2012 By Lalita Raman Leave a Comment

I’m not upset that you lied to me, I’m upset that from now on I can’t believe you.” ― Friedrich Nietzsche.

Did you know that Trust is an important part of every fraction of a second of our lives,  in all we do and in the way we conduct ourselves. And yet many a time we undermine the value of Trust and may take it for granted.

A strong foundation of any human relationship is based on Trust. Without Trust, life becomes lonely. Trust is what allows us to have meaningful relationships with other people. Trust is knowing that you will do the same thing irrespective of whether someone is looking at you or not.

When one is Trusted there is a feeling of belonging, safety, and it appeals to the soul. Once the Trust is broken, I believe it is worse than fixing a broken mirror, because the relationship never comes back to the sanctity it originally carried.

Do we really use Trust in every walk of our life?

1. Child & Parent – When a child first learns to climb up and decides to take  a leap from the chair or table confidently into the hands of his/her Mother’s or father’s extended hands, there is immense trust in that act.

2. Spouse – no marriage can last unless there is Trust between the husband and wife.

3. Friend – when you Trust a person as a friend, and you confide in that person you trust that this friend will not harm you or hurt you or tease you or misuse the information you have shared. Good friendship is based on trust, respect and love.  Friendship will crumble once the trust breaks.

4. Siblings –  Trust is imperative to a good relationship between siblings.

5. Life – Have you realized that when you hire a taxi, you trust the taxi driver to take you to your destination, charge no more than the fare indicated by the taxi meter and at the end of the journey, you trust the driver to return the change. Trust is what it takes when you open a bank account, when you walk into a shop to buy something, or  eat at a Restaurant.

6. Start-ups – As a Start-up Entrepreneur you face a tough time to convince people of your vision,not because you don’t have an appetite for hard work. But as a Startup, there is a deficit of Trust. It takes time to earn the same and these days it is probably even more difficult because there are one too many who take you for a ride.

7. Trust Yourself – If you don’t then no one else will. You are your best friend and need to believe in yourself.

How does Trust help? 

1. At the work place – When I’m trusted, I’m motivated to do even better and take on new challenges and explore the path not taken.

2. Trust builds loyalty without bonds in day-to-day life.

3. Trust is about authenticity and  helps to build a rapport.

4. Trust is about reliability and consistency and walking that path in every walk of life.

Life continually evolves. We’re constantly moving into new experiences, new possibilities. Life is a flux and the solace we find is the Trust we place on our relationships and that placed on us.

Life becomes joyful when we remain open to the constant flow and ride freely with it. We thus need to learn to Trust.

What does Trust mean to you?  Please share your views in the comments section. Thank you

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Filed Under: Integrity, Leadership & Personal Development Tagged With: Child, friend, life, parent, siblings, spouse, start-up, Trust

Leadership Qualities -Do you have what it takes

15 February 2012 By Lalita Raman 4 Comments

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Practice makes us better in our behavior and in the daily acts that we do. For example, when we learn yoga, ballet, gymnastics, piano, tennis …..we consciously practice the relevant movements, repeatedly in a deliberate way. Thus by these conscious repeated practice, we become better each day at these acts. Our entire life is like this, but we more often than not, are less conscious of the practice that goes behind the acts and the behavior.

Each day if we consciously practice good habits we will excel at it and they will become a natural way of our life.

I believe that credentials on the wall alone do not necessarily make you a decent human being. A LEADER can be any of us, one with NO TITLE. It is important to be human & what is more important is One’s disposition. Each of us can inspire others by the way we conduct ourselves on a day to day basis and be inspired by others.

So what are these qualities that each of us can have to inspire others in whatever we do

1. GRACIOUSNESS – Be gracious in all situations no matter if you are dealing with your subordinate or supervisor. Many forget their graciousness if they feel their power is lost. We are benevolent when our status is unchallenged. But if it comes to a power-play situation, very few of us can tolerate being upstaged, even for a fleeting moment.

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
Viktor E. Frankl

2.LEARN FROM MISTAKES – Don’t judge somebody by the mistakes they have made. In fact, the greatest virtue of mistakes is that they show us a path to new discoveries and open our mind. The key is to learn from one’s mistake and move forward rather than not having tried at all. One of the things that defines our character is how we handle mistakes.

I read in a blog post How To Make A Brilliant Mistake by Paul Schoemaker about how a mistake can be viewed positively by a company and how they can reap benefits from the same. Relevant extract from the blog below

“The president of an Ann Arbor, Michigan business concocted what he calls the Golden Egg award to make sure his people would extract as much learning as possible from failures. He asks managers to share their mistakes at a monthly meeting not unlike the mortality and morbidity reviews hospitals hold to learn from medical errors. At first participants were reluctant to open up, but eventually these confessionals became a favorite part of the session.
The manager who presents the best mistake of the month gets the Golden Egg trophy—a spray-painted L’eggs pantyhose plastic egg. Initially, the trophies stayed in the desk drawer of the (un)lucky winner. But over time, winners became proud enough to place the trophy on their desk for the entire month. This naturally prompted conversations with visitors about with how managers were able to convert egg on their face into omelets rich with insight and learning. In short, the president managed to change the culture from one that hides mistakes to one that celebrates them.

3. MULTICULTURAL LEADERSHIP Starts from within. Just like each of us would like to be respected, we need to understand the values of different cultures whilst dealing with people on the global front. Only through knowing and understanding the sensitivity of other cultures deeply can a person link different people to a common cause and influence them to achieve the goal.

4. ENCOURAGE< CRITIQUE BUT DO NOT CRITICIZE/JUDGE – it is way too easy for us to criticize someone because of our perceptions of them. When I hear and see a kid screaming in a café, my first thought may be “can’t the parent teach the kid to behave well and be better mannered.” That thought is being too judgemental without even knowing the kid or the parent or what each of them has gone through. A leader tends to walk a mile in another’s shoe before criticizing or judging first. The following lyrics from one of Elvis Presley’s song Walk A Mile In My Shoes resonates the message well

Walk a mile in my shoes,
just walk a mile in my shoes
Before you abuse, criticize and accuse
Then walk a mile in my shoes

5.LEAD BY EXAMPLE – The story here (Source) highlights the qualities of authenticity, honesty, daring to live one’s dreams, listen to understand, encourage and empower those around you

The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn’t already know. I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder. I turned around to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that lit up her entire being.
She said, ‘Hi handsome. My name is Rose. I’m eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a hug?’I laughed and enthusiastically responded ‘Of course you may!’ and she gave me a giant squeeze. ‘Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?’ I asked. She jokingly replied, ‘I’m here to meet a rich husband, get married, and have a couple of kids….”No seriously,’ I asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge at her age.’I always dreamed of having a college education and now I’m getting one!’ she told me.

After class we walked to the student union building and shared a chocolate milkshake. We became instant friends. Every day for the next three months we would leave class together and talk nonstop. I was always mesmerized listening to this ‘time machine’ as she shared her wisdom and experience with me.
Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went. She loved to dress up and she revelled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up.

At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football banquet. I’ll never forget what she taught us. She was introduced and stepped up to the podium. As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three by five cards on the floor.

Frustrated and a little embarrassed she leaned into the microphone and simply said, ‘I’m sorry I’m so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is killing me! I’ll never get my speech back in order so let me just tell you what I know.’ As we laughed she cleared her throat and began, ‘ We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing.

There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy and achieving success. You have to laugh and find humour every day. You’ve got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die. We have so many people walking around who are dead and don’t even know it! There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up…If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don’t do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old. If I am eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight. Anybody can grow older. That doesn’t take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding opportunity in change. Have no regrets. The elderly usually don’t have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets.’ She concluded her speech by courageously singing ‘The Rose.’

She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives… At the year’s end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago. One week after graduation Rose died peacefully in her sleep.Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that it’s never too late to be all you can possibly be.

Leadership is A Choice to inspire each other in all we do and something we practice day-to-day from within.

Hope you enjoyed the post, if you would like to add some more qualities please feel free to do so.

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Filed Under: Leadership & Personal Development Tagged With: being a leader, brilliant mistake, decent human, dreams, fleeting moment, lead by example, lead from within, Leadership, life, mistakes, multicultural, new discoveries, qualities, stimulus and response

Violence Against Women

30 January 2012 By Lalita Raman 2 Comments

Violence Against Women is one of the worst crimes and pandemic that exists in our society. Violence exists because we choose to live with it, we choose to allow women to be treated badly.

Please watch my video below on my views on Violence Against Women and what you can do to put an end to this torture that continues to be inflicted against women.

Violence Against Women

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Filed Under: Video Blogs, Violence Against Women Tagged With: Anger, attitude, family, Girls, India, life, society, subcontinent, violence, Violence on Women, Women

Ten Steps To Nourish and Enjoy Life

30 November 2011 By Lalita Raman 2 Comments

“Bloom where you are Planted” but has the adage now become “Survive where you are Stuck”.

Do we see life more as a culvert of survival or as a garden with significant possibilities for growth and blossoming? Life is a gift to us, which we need to cultivate, nurture, grow, spread kindness and love.

We should always cherish and encourage love, unity, service, generosity, justice and peace in whichever form and shape we can find and weed out all forms of evil, injustice, exploitation, insensitivity and cruelty.

Our greed and selfishness has not only fractured relationships with our family, friends and mankind, but we have severed our ties with Mother Earth. We abuse, torture and exploit Earth and Mother Nature. We must work to fulfil both, ourselves as well as our environment but at the same time care for our environment and not continue to harm Mother Nature but restore her pristine beauty.

“Life is not a bed of roses.” Even if it were, remember that roses bloom with thorns. So let’s sow seeds of life and tackle the hurdles that come our way.

10 STEPS T0 NOURISH AND ENJOY LIFE

1. Smile

An inexpensive way to cheer yourself and others. Make someone’s day and your own by smiling,

2. A kind word or deed– something as simple as Thank you for clearing my trash on a daily basis to the person who clears your garbage daily will make that person’s day. An example of a kind deed could be to help some one on the road if you see them carrying a huge load.

3. Apology – An apology is a proof that you have conquered your ego; it clears your heart and makes you realise that it is human to err. It also means that you value your relationships more than your ego. Would you rather be remembered for your kindness or about winning an argument.

4. Breadth of life –
Every breadth you take and the fact that you wake up each new day is a blessing in itself. Every morning is a symbol of rebirth of life.

5. Food –

The fact that you are able to eat a bare minimum of two meals a day in itself is something to be thankful about.

6. Friends –
Be thankful of the friends you can rely on and call on at any time. What would we do without them. Don;t take them for granted

7. Family– Your parents, your siblings, your spouse and the support they give you to be who you are on a daily basis.

8. Happiness – Happiness is a state of mind on a day to day basis. Words have an immense influence on the receiver and the speaker. Choose your words diligently and let anger not douse them.

9. Attitude – Attitude to anything in life makes a huge difference. We all have hurdles in life but the attitude we have towards each of these will dictate every moment of our day and life. Make it a good one and you will enrich your life and those around you. Having the right positive attitude is something that we need to remind ourselves consciously especially when we are having a challenging day.

10. Passion –
Each of us have our own passion and activities that we engage ourselves passionately in. I’m very passionate about hikes about helping some one in need. While many of us may not be able to engage ourselves in what we are passionate about each and every moment, it is crucial we make time for things we love. Go where you want to go and follow your intitution. Don’t restrict yourself by the boundaries created by others.

All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better. Ralph Waldo Emerson.

Image Source : Smile
Food

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Filed Under: Life Tagged With: family, Food, Gratitude, Kind, life, passion, smile, Survival, Words

Top 5 Reasons to Hike

8 June 2010 By Lalita Raman 1 Comment

I. A Good Workout– If you are a fitness maniac like me, treks and/or hikes provides one of the best forms of workout. Climbing up hills and any steep slope increases the heart rate and I believe there is sense of fulfillment  at the end of a trek up a mountain. Calories burnt and a fitter you, is the ultimate result. 

II. Serenity of Nature-Treks provide an opportunity to be up, close and personal with nature. I have always admired nature’s beauty-the greenery, the mountains standing tall in all their grandeur, the beautiful shapes of different rocks, and waterfalls gushing with full force. Every walk or trek clears my mind and some of my best ideas have emerged whilst walking amidst the greenery and waterfalls.

III. Teaches you about life–“Life is full of ups and downs. The trick is to enjoy the ups and have courage during the downs.”

Yes, a trek up a hill is exactly the same, climb up a hill seems more difficult than  running downhill.  However, to me, I enjoy climbing up a mountain, it is difficult but the fruits of that hard work is immense.  I don’t enjoy downhill as much since it is a challenge to my bad back. Recently, I fractured my left foot and just about on the recovery path. Over the weekend, I ventured to do a relatively easy walk since I was eager to get back to my normal fitness routine.  Downhill was indeed a challenge on my foot, my back and my calf.  However, downhill teaches me to be cautious and take each stride carefully.

In Life as well, we all like uphills and hate downhill. Climb uphill comes from consistent effort towards one vision. However the various challenges that life poses on each of us makes us stronger.  It teaches us to balance and appreciate life.


IV. Connect – Yes hikes are the best time to connect with a friend, with a sweetheart, with your spouse or even form a new relationship. I have met some wonderful people during my hikes organized either by common friends or some community drive event.


V. Support a charity – I have done several hikes where I have joined an event organized by a Non Profit Organization. These organizations organize a trek and the participants have to collect money from their friends and well wishers. The money that is raised is used for several good causes which includes for the aged, for cancer, for the Blind , etc.

The best example I can think of here is the Trek being organized by @paul_steele where Tweeters from around the World will climb a mountain for charity, to raise funds for charity water .

No better way to unite  in doing what one loves to do the most.

I hope this post has inspired you try a hike and discover a new you and be with nature.

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Filed Under: Environment and Nature, Treks Tagged With: charity water, connect, life, Nature, workout

Do We Have It In Us?

28 May 2010 By Lalita Raman Leave a Comment

Here are some of Marianne Williamson (one of my recent discoveries and since then have become an ardent fan) Quotes and some examples in daily life that Each of Us Can Make A Difference in day to day life.

I.”The secret of success is to realize that the crisis on our planet is much larger than just deciding what to do with your own life, and if the system under which we live the structure of western civilization begins to collapse because of our selfishness and greed, then it will make no difference whether you have $1 million dollars when the crash comes or just $1.00. The only work that will ultimately bring any good to any of us is the work of contributing to the healing of the world.”

II.”Maturity includes the recognition that no one is going to see anything in us that we don’t see in ourselves. Stop waiting for a producer. Produce yourself.”

I read this article on a tweet today about a Cancer Survivor who has climbed Everest with one lung. For full article Read Here. A Perfect example of not giving up and to go beyond his self.

Each of us are faced with challenges and hurdles throughout our life.  However the best treatment each of us can give ourself is how we deal with these challenges and move on. Each of us have a purpose in life and we need to make the most of it. It is all about the personal drive which comes from one’s own enthusiasm, inspiration derived from friends and families and to me personally many a time by reading real life stories or meeting people in real life who have dealt with a thing or two in life.

III.”Personal transformation can and does have global effects. As we go, so goes the world, for the world is us. The revolution that will save the world is ultimately a personal one.”

Best example I can think of here is each of our effort to save energy, water and nature’s resources. We can stop wasting food, water and stressing the resources of this planet.  If you want to read more about this please refer to my Article “Earth Hour”

Don’t ask yourself do you have it in you. Each of us have it in us… it is a matter of doing. “Just Do it” by Nike conveys it all. Do each of us really need to be told by somebody to value their space and make a contribution ? What do you think?

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Filed Under: Leadership & Personal Development, Life Tagged With: Cancer Survivor, greed, Just Do It, life, Maturity, selfishness, success

Why Question? & Not Accept Anything at Face Value

21 May 2010 By Lalita Raman Leave a Comment

I have often been asked why I question, before I accept anything? Why make assumptions, why take something at face value,. After all each of our ears, eyes and heart is the one to be trusted. By asking questions, you also open the doors of communication and avoid misunderstandings and sadness.

I love this quote ……., which says it all

“The important thing is to not stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity; of life; of the marvelous structure of reality…”

Quote by Albert Einstein from the Personal Memoir of William Miller, 1955.

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Filed Under: Life Tagged With: Curiosity, life, Question

Character & Success

18 May 2010 By Lalita Raman Leave a Comment

” To laugh often and much; To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived”. Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Filed Under: Life Tagged With: beauty, children, honest, laugh, life

How Do I Define Life

9 May 2010 By Lalita Raman Leave a Comment

Constant question I ask myself is if this were my last day, am I content with it? I am human but still try not to take life for granted. Unexpected earthquakes, accidents and sudden death of my friends has taught me not to take Life For Granted.

“My private measure of success is daily. If this were to be the last day of my life would I be content with it? To live in a harmonious balance of commitments and pleasures is what I strive for.” Jane Rule

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Filed Under: Life Tagged With: commitments, life, measure, sucess

Why are we so fickle?

29 April 2010 By Lalita Raman Leave a Comment

I’ve often wondered why we go out of our way to please, impress & flatter people we barely know. I’ve met many people in my life who try to form a relationship & when you do get to know them, they trash you – basic nature being to Hook & Trash !!!

Even on Twitter many fancy false followers & feel thrilled that they have crossed 2k or 14k or what have you. There are very few who actually make an effort to engage in a conversation & make an effort to form a relationship.

While there is nothing wrong with getting to know someone or networking, don’t we need to look for deeper relationships rather than make every relationship a business deal??

Once a relationship is formed, one needs to maintain & treasure it. Relationships needs to be nurtured & caressed with love just like a plant that needs to be watered & looked after on a daily basis.

The following quote by Ella Wheeler Wilcox summarizes the fickle world we live in,

“There’s one sad truth in life I’ve found
While journeying east and west –
The only folks we really wound
Are those we love the best.
We flatter those we scarcely know,
We please the fleeting guest,
And deal full many a thoughtless blow
To those who love us best.” ~Ella Wheeler Wilcox

Please feel free to share your thoughts on this …….

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Filed Under: Relationships Tagged With: farce, flatter, fleeting, life, relationship, wound

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