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Five Key Questions To Create An Emotionally Engaging Experience For Your Customer

20 October 2015 By Lalita Raman Leave a Comment

https://flic.kr/p/73ZMzw

Human beings are emotional beings. No matter what role you are in, the art of persuasion appeals to three main areas –

Ethos:

Your #credibility comes from not only what you say but how you say. #ethos #CSR

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Your tone, body language, facial expressions and words matter.

Logos: the logic that you use to support a claim (induction and deduction); any form of evidence that helps you appeal to the rational sense of your audience.

Pathos: the emotional or motivational appeal and herein too, the way you communicate is important.

Three weeks back, a dress that I liked, was on sale in one of the reputed stores and I decided to place the order on-line. When I logged in, I got a message that the size I was looking for was out of stock. I decided to avail of the wait list option that was offered to me. Within 4-5 days, I got an email notification that the wait list item was available and I need to place an order soon. It so happened that the item was still available and I placed the order. I got a confirmation that the order was received and I would get a notification as soon as the order was shipped. Two days later, I receive an email that the order was cancelled and no reason was given. All the email stated was, order cancelled and If you want reply or call. My experience calling their customer service, in the past, has not been pleasant and so I decided to email them requesting them to give me a reason as to why the order was cancelled. The email response was strange, in that they responded saying, sorry place the order again, we could not read your credit card no. To me the content of this response and the tone used was one of “no care”. I had not entered the credit card no with my hand to be told that they could not read it. If it was their system issue that somehow they had lost the credit card no, it was not my fault. Despite all this, this renowned store and one of the biggest and oldest stores in the US, that has an on-line facility, did not apologize and worse, dictated to me that I place the order again.

A relationship with a customer is built, when you can map the journey of your customer through notably, the rational side of the experience and also make it emotionally engaging in a way that it addresses their need and drives value for them. Value is driven from the time the customer or potential customer starts their journey either with exploring your website, entering your shop, speaking to your customer service, sales or marketing, or any other form of contact, that they have with your company. And it does not necessarily end with the goods or services delivered to them.

Why do representatives of organizations, big or small, forget that shopping for anything or dealing with banks or credit cards or any other type of service needs to be “An Experience”? You and your organization need to build an emotionally engaging experience that drives customer loyalty and customer retention.

Seek to ask and understand what the #customer is expecting and feeling coming into the experience.

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This is imperative, for you to understand how you can manage the emotions of your customers in order to create an enjoyable experience for them. The journey is not solely about the touch points of interaction but the entire experience.

When you book a table at a restaurant, the experience includes the way they handle your booking, the way you are greeted at the restaurant, how efficiently and courteously they take you to your table, how soon do they make you feel comfortable by way of their ambience, the way the waiter/waitress speak with you, how soon do they get the menu, how well they explain the dishes, where required, how they take care of the little things that matter, the quality of the dishes, the hygiene level, the waiting time for your order and the checkout process. If you have had a good experience the first time, you will go there repeatedly, as long as the experience continues consistently. It is the same, no matter, whether it is calling your bank, dealing with your broker, buying a house, dealing with your private banker, shopping on-line or on-line subscription to a journal or blog.

Dealing with an organization should not increase stress and anxiety and when it does, the emotional experience leaves a bad taste and the organization loses its value in the customer’s eye.

How do you create an Emotionally Engaging Experience for your customer?

 

1. Are you listening to your customers ?

Listening to your customers, from an emotional and rational perspective for business as usual, for your innovate ideas, for the complaints and the not too pleasant experience that your customer faces, is at the heart of creating a customer-centric culture.

You build client-centricity when you put yourself in their shoes to know what they experience.

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2.Are you looking at the customer’s journey from an emotional perspective?

We enjoy movies with a good story and direction and more importantly those with good actors and actress. The story is taken to a deeper level when the actor or actress plays the role in a way that you get so involved in the character of that story.

Marlon Brando, Al Pacino, Robert De Niro, Jack Nicholson and Dustin Hoffman are just a few famous names and are now possibly the most famous advocates of getting into character by living and breathing every nuance of the world they inhabit.

Hoffman, a method actor by trade, got so prepared for the character he played in Marathon Man, that he lost 15 pounds after running up to four miles a day to get in shape for the demanding role. Legendary Producer Robert Evans claimed that Hoffman would never come into a scene faking the heavy breathing required, and that he would simply run half a mile right before director John Schlesinger yelled ‘action’ to make the scene more believable.

No better way to get and create the emotional experience that a customer gets while dealing with your organization than putting yourself in the shoes of your customer. Visualize how your customer would want the experience to be and map out the behaviors necessary to enable this.

3.How Are You Honoring Your Client’s Perspective?

Your opinions and views don’t matter when you deal with a client. Rational and logic may be useful  and understanding a client from an emotional perspective will go a long way to keep a client fulfilled. Even if you don’t always agree with your client, it’s important to respect their perspective and needs. By understanding your client and their perspective, you establish the trust and make it a memorable experience for the client.

4.Are you hiring the right people?

Who are your hiring to create a valuable and customer-centric culture in your organization? What are their values ? Does it match with the overall vision and purpose of the organization? Your employees are the source to create a rich experience for the clients who deal with your organization.

People who #care for their organization and are treated well by their bosses are #engaged.

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They will focus on doing the right things including creating an experience of dealing with your organization enriching.

5.Do you ask relevant questions ?

Having an empathetic ear to issues that your client faces is one of the best ways to create a long-term relationship with the client. Watch your tone of voice or tone of the email, body language and the words you choose during your interaction. By asking questions such as how may I help you? What is one thing you would like me to do to rectify the situation?, you show empathy and humanity.

Be open, yet circumspect, because this enables you to be in the moment, to ask relevant questions, establish trust and allows the other person to open up. Being over smart never helps because that is going to aggravate your customer and worsen the relationship.

To create a memorable journey for a customer, observe and listen for cues on what do your customers expect from dealing with your organization’s product and services, what would you expect if you were a customer of your products and services, how others want to interact. Adapt your communication style and this applies to every part of the organization, irrespective of customer facing or not, to what your customer may want.

One of my yoga instructors recently remarked that Yoga is not something to get over and done with. It is an experience, an experience of growing strong, breathing and being present in the moment and this has to come from within. Coming from within is something each of are responsible for and the journey is made more pleasant by the instructor’s way of instructing, the rhythm and flow of the class and poses which enables you to breathe, even in your most challenging moment. In the same way, when you are delivering a product or service, no matter the industry, make it a memorable experience and journey for your customer because we are emotional beings and you will drive value for your clients.

From My Professional Experience to Your Success, please contact me for one-on-one coaching, training, group coaching, facilitation, speaking and workshops. 

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Filed Under: Brand You, Character, Coaching, Communication, Customer Service and Sales, Emotions, Employee Engagement, Energize Your Leadership, Integrity, Lead By Example, Lead From Within, Leadership & Personal Development, Sales Leadership, self-awareness Tagged With: client-centricity, Communication, customer, customer loyalty, EI, emotional engagement, EQ, lead by example, leadfromwithin

Leadership : The Power of Influence Or “Cry Wolf”?

13 October 2015 By Lalita Raman 2 Comments

As a child, I remember hearing this story of The Boy Who Cried Wolf, where, the tale concerns a shepherd boy, Peter, who repeatedly tricks nearby villagers into thinking a wolf is attacking his flock. When one actually does appear and Peter again calls for help, the villagers believe that it is another false alarm and the sheep are eaten by the wolf. At last, Peter learnt his lesson, that if you always tell lies, people will eventually stop believing you; and then when you’re telling the truth for a change, when you really need them to believe you, they won’t.

?? How often is this story, true in our daily lives?
?? How many times have you met people who say

→they will deliver you something within a specified time frame and you don’t hear back from them within the specified time
→ their customer service will help you and when you need help and engage with them, you waste your time and the issue still doesn’t get resolved
→ they are right and they denounce you when you disagree,  even when you disagree with evidence.
→are listening but are engaged on their mobile, their own thoughts and activities
→they are the best and are so consumed with what they get and are frozen with their point of view.

Credibility cannot be built and enhanced when

1. You are narcissistic

When you are self-centered, your actions show that you are looking out for yourself. Your choices and decisions are made to make you look best. Your actions are manipulative and you are concerned about what is best for you and no one else.
If you are a self-centered and narcissistic person, you will not motivate or inspire others. People will stop believing in you.

2. You are egoistic

If you only see what your eyes want to see, and don’t want to believe in others and what they are capable of, you will be seen as an egoist. When what you say and how you say and act is based on your own interests and advancement of the same, people will stop giving you respect,

3. You are inconsistent

When you actions are not in line with what you say, you are considered inconsistent and somebody who cannot be relied on. Your actions speak who you are and not only talk your talk but walk your talk to enhance your credibility.

4. You are insecure

Your actions do not motivate others and you don’t believe in others. You do not appreciate or recognize others for what they do well. You don’t make your team feel valued or wanted. You are driven by a sense of insecurity about your position and fail to inspire your team. Your insecurity results in you not looking after your team interests and caring for their growth and development.

5. You don’t communicate

You are open about the way you criticize, condemn and complain, yet, you don’t take time to value your team’s valid contributions. You instill fear in others in the what you communicate and how you communicate. You give feedback when it suits you instead of giving regular constructive feedback. You install a change and do not communicate or assist people through the transition.

Communication is effective when you listen to understand, empathize and empower your team to deliver what they need to deliver and do best. Credibility is built and enhanced by the way you communicate and treat your team.

Credibility is not built-in a day and yet it takes a fraction of a second to damage it. You will be followed as a leader when you inspire others by your actions. Earn your credibility by being true to your word.

#Influential #leaders build #credibility and they welcome diverse points of view. #transitions #leadership

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They cultivate an environment to promote diversity. They not only believe in their own power but also in the power of others.

#Influential #leaders believe in the potential of others and are not self-centered. #transitions #leadership

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Transitions sometimes affect your power of influence and in order to continue to be credible, seek the assistance of a coach. Connect with me for one-on-one coaching, group coaching or training. 

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Filed Under: Attitude, Character, Coaching, Communication, Emotions, Habits, Integrity, Lead By Example, Lead From Within, Leadership & Personal Development, Life, self-awareness Tagged With: disagreement, lead by example, Leadership, leadfromwithin, narcisstic, The Boy Who Cried Wolf, Transitions

Is The Power Of Empathy Lacking In Leaders?

30 September 2015 By Lalita Raman Leave a Comment

Empathy, the ability to resonate with your requisite emotional response, to what others are experiencing in that moment.

“You are a Coach. One of the key essentials to being a good coach is to listen and not fix things”. This was one of the first things, I heard, in one of my coach certification trainings.

Empathy, is a necessity, not just as a coach, but as a human being in every walk of life including at work. Yet, it is lacking in many leaders, who need it the most.

Empathy is important in a cross cultural context, in evaluating somebody, in working with somebody, to understand what your customer needs and in the highly connected world that we live in where people are quite vocal in their opinions. You need empathy in understanding the dynamic needs of your audience, no matter, you are in sales, in back office, in front office, leadership and development facilitator or purchasing and requisition.

Two weeks back, a friend of mine was quite upset and frustrated. She narrated to me her experience, the previous day at work. One of her senior colleagues, did not give her an opportunity to do what she does best. He interrupted her, whilst she was doing her work and basically rode the show. Empathy was lacking from this senior colleague of hers who decided that he will have his way and not allow her to do what she is good at. His behavior of over dominance also caused her to doubt her confidence and her ability. This colleague had failed to see the world through her eyes and understand her perspective.

#Empathy is #listening and understanding others and goes beyond that. #leadership #peopleskills #transitions

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 To be a good listener, it takes more than just hearing with your ears, as to what the person is saying—it requires focus, an innate desire, mindfulness and conscientiousness.

Empathy is:

→1. Allowing someone to do what they are good at and not standing in their way.
→2. If someone is not able to get to their goal, find out what stopped them from getting there and have the understanding to facilitate a solution that works best with that person and in that situation.
→3. If someone has made a mistake, calling attention to their mistakes indirectly. One way to do this is by asking questions.
→4. When you listen, you give your undivided attention of your mind, body and soul to the person who is talking. Listening requires concentration and this is evident not only from your ears but from your body language, your tone, your eyes and words. Know when to speak up and when to shut up.
→5.Understanding the cultural nuances with your observation powers, your ears and your heart.
→6. In the art of Persuasion, understand what is the benefit to that person and how does it matter to them ?
→7. To pick the cues in every relationship and in every conversation. How can you be empathetic if you have not been able to sense what the situation requires?
→8. When somebody is agitated, let them vent in a manner that is most suitable to that person and as the situation demands.
→9. Your behavior, your tone, your body language, and the words you choose can be the most effective form of empathy and make the fault seem easy to correct.
→10. Praise the slight improvement and praise every improvement. Be hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise- Dale Carnegie
→11. Asking questions instead of giving direct orders.
→12. Allowing someone to save face.
→13. Disagreeing agreeably with others. Giving respect to the other person’s opinion and never saying that they are wrong.
→14. Honoring your word and staying true to your commitment.
→15. Acknowledging the goodness in others and not allowing your judgment to mar that.

What would you like to add to the above list of Empathy ?

Empathy is the EI, the intellectual and emotional curiosity to see other people’s reality, and having the mindset to adapt to what the situation demands.

#Empathy is the #pathos in every #human connection. #leadership #transitions #peopleskills

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You have a leadership mindset when you are empathetic which means you need to be focussed, mindful and adaptive to the current moment.

Empathy is imperative in transitions – to self and others, to see through the transitions that life journeys us through.  Connect with me if you need coaching either on a one-on-one or as a group, to manage transitions, at work or in life, through coaching. 

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Filed Under: Attitude, Character, Coaching, Communication, Emotions, Habits, Integrity, Lead By Example, Lead From Within, Leadership & Personal Development, Life, Mindfulness, Relationships, self-awareness Tagged With: adaptive, coaching, Dale Carenegie. praise. mindfulness, Empathy, Leadership, leadfromwithin, Listening, mindfulness

Five Ways How Yoga Can Make you a Better Leader

31 August 2015 By Lalita Raman 2 Comments

Why Do You Do What You Do ?

Fitness is not just about how physically fit you are. It is about “the intention” with which you work-out at the gym (cardio and/or weights training), or while walking, running or practicing yoga. And in any of these forms of fitness training, physical fitness cannot be achieved without the mental well-being. Setting an intention ahead of the workout helps you to be #mindful on the path to achieving your goal.

Setting an #intention is about being conscious of #why you do what you do. #leadership #mindfulness #transitions

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Most of us experience overwhelm on some days of the week in our lives. Overcoming stress is about taking the right mental attitude to deal with what causes the exhaustion and overwhelm.

Yoga is not just about relaxing, it is about meditation in flow and mindfulness whilst doing the various asanas (poses). It is not about what you want but what you achieve and yoga helps you to do that.

Yoga can be practiced in addition to your gym or running or in isolation.

Here are my favorite reasons to bring yoga as part of your daily life as an entrepreneur and leader 

1. Letting Go of Control

As an entrepreneur or as an employee, you are constantly making decisions and doing something. You are also possibly managing people and coordinating your team’s efforts. If you go to a yoga class, you are led by the instructor. Of course, you choose whose class you want to attend, the type of class you want to attend. Once you are in the class, there is no turning back. You need to go with the flow. You learn to appreciate the importance of giving clear instructions and showing empathy whilst doing the same. Even if you are used to a particular instructor’s style, each day is different for them and you and you have to learn to give in and be in the moment. Not doing so leads to irritation, stress and finally not achieving the purpose of being at yoga.

[Tweet “As a #leader, you need to let go and be in the moment to #trust your gut and your team. #leadership]

2. Do away with Judgment

Over more than 10 years that I have been practicing yoga, I have realized that whenever I judge myself, I lose my focus and chances of injury are higher. Reacting to frustrations or letting your ego get the better of you during yoga makes you distracted, and the results not so desirable.

As an entrepreneur and leader, growth and development is key and making judgment on yourself and others, distracts and deters you from achieving your goal.

3. Patience

Yoga teaches you to be patient. Each day is different and your mental and physical being is different. If you don’t realize and accept this, you can experience frustration. In our daily life, it takes time to reach our goal and achieve our vision. Progress is made slowly and yoga teaches you to be humble and patient. What is most important in your life’s journey is your intention, effort and passion.

4. Connecting

Working and thinking non-stop tires your brain. To be effective and efficient, you need to take timely breaks. Yoga helps you to connect with yourself by quietening your mind. It helps you foster mindfulness and gives your brain the much required break. To get over overwhelm and exhaustion, set aside time for mindfulness through yoga.

This helps you to be creative and get the breakthroughs you are seeking.

5. The Discipline of Flexibility

Every yoga practice requires an open mind and the willingness to accept that moment. To find the agility and flow despite what you are feeling in your body and mind, requires you to be adaptable.

In the same way, entrepreneurs and leaders need to be adaptable in their approach and flexible in the way they communicate.

When we are flexible and implement a wider range of communication skills and take risks to step out of our comfort zones, we become more open-minded and influence others as leaders in who we are ~Lalita

Yoga is a journey that teaches you to be humble, patient, step out of your comfort zone and learn to live in the moment. This is the journey that a leader needs to adopt to be inspirational and influential.

Leading an intentional life is about being conscious of your choices, leading from within, cherishing your relationships and your every living moment. 

Yoga has made me resilient and look at life mind fully and with enthusiasm, no matter what transitions in life I have had to face.

If you are looking to enhance your executive presence through transitions you face, please connect with me and let’s have a chat. 

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Filed Under: Attitude, Character, Coaching, Communication, Culture, Emotions, Employee Engagement, Energize Your Leadership, Entrepreneur, Habits, Health, Integrity, Lead By Example, Lead From Within, Leadership & Personal Development, Life, Meditation, Mindfulness, Relationships, self-awareness Tagged With: coaching, creativity, entrepreneur, judgement, lead by example, leadership. leader, leadfromwithin, overwhelm, stress, Transitions, Yoga

The 4 Cs Of Effective Communication

27 July 2015 By Lalita Raman Leave a Comment

It is no doubt that good leaders are also effective communicators.

“I don’t understand why anyone would have an issue with the way I communicate. I consider everyone’s view-point and yet my team and my boss feels that I am not being collaborative and I’m a control freak.”

This was the remark made by one of my clients (let’s call him Jeff) when I met him for the first time after he was assigned a coach by his organization.

Jeff had a tendency to talk indiscriminately. He never listened and never gave an opportunity to his audience, one on one or with several, to talk. At work, he overburdened his team, his peers, his direct reports with information. Added to this, he also had a habit of being in control too tightly; thus being perceived as stifling independent initiative. As a result of his micro-managing, he created resentment especially among his direct reports. Jeff caused ambiguity and unnecessary anxiety by not allowing others to talk and in not listening.

Jeff displayed strong self-confidence and his actions and behaviors indicated that he was in the best position to know what is really needed. He was thus perceived as self-centered or even arrogant at times; especially because he did not give others an opportunity to express themselves.

Is Communication “not listening”?

A colleague of mine has the habit of getting her family members and friends to say yes in a manner which is quite manipulative and coercive. She will ask those friends or family members to whom she has given gifts, isn’t what I gave you the best, you liked it no? I always give the best. She also has a habit of telling people to include her in her contact list and send her a what’s app and she asks them to do so by standing next to them and telling them to do so immediately. Whilst one can give her candid feedback about her gift and also say no or I’ll do it later to her what’s app request, most people don’t do so because no one wants to hurt her feelings. They also don’t want her to get upset on either being told ‘no’ or I’ll do it later.

Is Communication forcing yourself on others? Do you seek to force your opinion on others?

What is Effective Communication?

Those who inspire others as leaders influence by the way they act, how they communicate (what they say and how they say it). Bottom-line good leaders are good communicators.

Think about it, how can you inspire and influence others if you don’t communicate in a clear, credible and authentic way and don’t listen to what others have to say?

What are the key habits to adopt to become an effective communicator?

1. Connection

Communication is about engaging with others and in doing so you need to make the audience feel comfortable. For this you need to be self-aware – what is your communication style, what is working well and with whom and where you need to adapt. You need to understand others and adapt your style to make that connection.

Jeff was not self-aware nor did he take time to understand others.

2. Clarity and Conciseness

Communication does not mean you keep talking indiscriminately. Say what you have to say and say it in a concise way. Overloading people with information nonstop is not going to get or keep their attention. Being verbose kills your effectiveness. Be interactive and listen. Keep your communication simple, concrete and clear.

Jeff was thinking he was communicating effectively. However, he was the only one talking every time he was in conversation with another person – be it at meetings, one on one or on the phone. During his coaching, he realized he was long-winded and verbose in the way he communicated.

3. Confidence

Confidence is articulated in what you say and how you say it. Being self-confident doesn’t mean being self-centered and believing that you are the be all and end all to everything. Your words, facial expressions, body language, tone of voice all play an important part in the way others see you as confident or not.

#Confidence is also conveyed in the way you #listen. #communication

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Part of confidence is about how charismatic you are. If you are distracted or too self-centered, you will not be able to connect with others.

4. Concentrate and Comprehend

Listen with your eyes and ears.

You listen for feeling, meaning, behavior in #empathetic #listening. #communication #EI

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You sense what the other person is going through and you give your full undivided attention to your audience.

An effective and inspiring leader asks good questions and then listens with their eyes, ears, feeling and gives their full focus to their audience. You also look for the nonverbal cues. Sometimes a person’s facial expressions and body language will convey everything you need to know much more than their words.

Clearly, Jeff did not listen. Through coaching, he realized that even with his friends, he would ask a question and then interrupt them before they could complete a single sentence. He wanted to have a conversation with people but conversation was one way which was him talking continuously. My colleague, did the same by declaring her gift as the best and forcing people to do something without being empathetic to her audience. Her tone, body language and facial expressions were condescending and she did not give an opportunity to her audience to express their view-point.

5. Commitment

Say what you said you will do. Keep up your word. If you have delegated a task, provide an environment where you allow a person to grow and develop. By being a control freak, you will not gain the trust from others.

#Effective #communication is about how good are your inter-personal skills. #peopleskills #relationships

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Communication is what you say and how you say and in all this no matter whether you are informing, convincing, engaging or having your audience take action, you should care for your audience. 

For one-on-one coaching, speaking, facilitation of workshops or training on communications and leadership, please connect. 

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Filed Under: Coaching, Communication, Customer Service and Sales, Emotions, Employee Engagement, Energize Your Leadership, Habits, Lead By Example, Lead From Within, Leadership & Personal Development, Life, Relationships, Sales Leadership, self-awareness, Talent And Human Resources Tagged With: coaching, Commitment, Communication, confidence, Empathy, lead by example, Leadership, leadfromwithin, Listening, self-confidence

What is Human About Empathy In Your Communication ?

14 July 2015 By Lalita Raman 2 Comments

Without a doubt, you’ll agree that we need to be empathetic in the way we communicate.

Have you ever been frustrated and at your wit’s end by the way a person communicates with you?

I have wasted 45 minutes of my time on the phone with your customer service and now I call again and after selecting the right options, I am transferred to the switch board. “Sorry madam, since you asked for a specific person’s name, you got transferred to the switch board.” I asked for John because that is whom I was in conversation with before which he either disconnected the phone or the line was cut off. I don’t wish to repeat my story to another customer service after having spent 45 minutes on the phone with John, before that an entire week going back and forth on emails with your company and yet, the matter has not been resolved. So, can you please transfer me to John.

“Madam I understand, do you have John’s full name.” No I don’t. My name is Lalita Raman and my case no is xxxxx, if that helps.

This was my conversation with one of the international and renowned newspapers with whom I was trying to renew my on-line subscription.

The switch board operator heard me out patiently and mentioned he will try to find the person who had serviced me. After putting me on hold for 5-7 minutes, he said there is no one by the name of John but the person I had spoken to was Jomar and he was busy on the other line. I continued to express my frustration. Wilson, the switch board operator patiently listened to me and he said he could take my number down and said he will assure that Jomar gives me a call back within 20 minutes. At this point in time my irritation levels were super high. He then asked if he could have Jomar’s supervisor to speak with me since she was available and that she had been briefed on my query and the frustration over the level of service.

That response immediately calmed me down and I felt, wow, here is a person who has gone beyond his call of duty and not only understood my frustration but had made an effort to find out the person who serviced me, his supervisor’s name and had made sure that the supervisor was up to date on the issue that I was facing. That sense of understanding on his part brought my Amygdala under control. I thanked him.

I then spoke to the supervisor and she immediately said “Madam I apologize for your experience and I don’t want our company to lose you as a customer. My system is very slow so though you have already spent an immense amount of time on the phone and email with us, you’ll have to bear with me before I can get your details on the computer screen. What I can assure you is that I can give you a discount, the amount I can confirm once the system is up, and I will enquire into why your email was not responded to despite follow ups from your end. Madam, I would not like to be treated the way you were treated. Any time you need help, I am the supervisor on shift at night-time and I will be here. So please feel free to call or email me.”

I instantly connected with her because of the genuine interest she showed in me and my issue and her sincerity in helping me out.

I chatted with her for some time asking her why she always worked night shifts and how long she has been in her current role, etc.

Once her system was up she was able to confirm the amount, answer my query and she kept up her word of sending an email to me confirming the renewal amount, and that she will call me on July 30.

Why did I connect with her?

She cared for me and that was evident by the way she started her conversation with me and her honesty. She did not give the usual company one line clichés or slogans of “we are sorry for the inconvenience caused and we apologize. How can I help you?”

She understood what her company had put me through, my frustration and she took control of the situation by listening to understand and provide a solution that mattered to me. That was Human.

She not only listened with her ears but She showed EMPATHY. Deep listening is not only about hearing with our ears but connecting at a deeper level.

Why is Empathy Important – 7 Reasons

1. Emotion

We are emotional beings and no matter whom you are conversing with, be it your customer or colleague or boss or friend or a person assisting you at the supermarket check-out, remember that they are human.

Each of us have ups and downs in our day and understanding each other in that moment goes a long way in making an emotional connection. Both Wilson and the lady supervisor on shift connected with me because they understood what I was going through.

2. Mirror

Neuroscientist Giacomo Rizzolatti, MD, who with his colleagues at the University of Parma first identified mirror neurons, says that the neurons could help explain how and why we “read” other people’s minds and feel empathy for them. Mirror neurons are one key to understanding how human beings survive and thrive in a complex social world, says neuroscientist Vittorio Gallese, MD, PhD, one of Rizzolatti’s colleagues at the University of Parma. “It seems we’re wired to see other people as similar to us, rather than different,” Gallese says. “At the root, as humans we identify the person we’re facing as someone like ourselves.”

The supervisor felt and understood my pain and that was evident in the way she framed her conversation with me, which was full of sincerity. She proved she was committed by letting me know that she was sorry, she has a solution and that unfortunately I may have to wait a little longer because her system was slow. She did not offer any defense for the non-responsiveness from her colleagues, instead acknowledged, that the non-responsiveness was not something that should have happened.

3.Patience

I clearly had run out of patience and both Wilson and the lady supervisor were patient in listening to me and understanding what the issue was, to be able to resolve it. They sensed my agony and not only acknowledged that they understood it but articulated it in the action they took.

4. Aware

Listening is part of Communication. While listening you need to be aware of the emotions the other person is experiencing so that you can understand what they are going through and do whatever is necessary to help that person out. Wilson understood that I had wasted an immense amount of time and he made sure that the person to whom he was going to transfer the call already knew my agony so that I don’t have to repeat myself. That showed he was aware and he cared.

5. Tactful

In showing empathy, you need to be tactful in the way you communicate not only in your words but also in your tone and body language. The supervisor tactfully chose her words, her tone and an action which gave me an assurance that she was genuine and sincere.

6. Honest

Many customer services personnel are apologetic but their apology is a not well-meant or genuine. Both Wilson and the supervisor were honest about the reality, they accepted the reality and at the same time acted in my best interests and resolved my problem.

7.Yearn

Desire or wanting to help can only be proved by action and in this case both were true to their commitment. They wanted to help and they did help.

We live in the world of #communications and to truly #listen you need to understand and #empathize.

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. Using clichés, stereotype slogans and cheap humor is not the way to empathize.

Seek to #listen and #understand so that you connect with a person. #peopleskills

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With Empathy,

you are able to treat others the way they would want to be treated,

you’ll be able to better deal with negativity by understanding the fears and motivators of others and

you’ll be able to inspire, influence and persuade others.

For workshops, one-on-one coaching, facilitation, speaking, please connect. 

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Filed Under: Attitude, Character, Communication, Emotions, Habits, Idiosyncracies, Lead By Example, Lead From Within, Leadership & Personal Development, Life, self-awareness Tagged With: Communication, Emotion, Empathy, honesty, Influence, inspire, Leadership, leadfromwithin, listen, patient, persuade

5 Effortless Ways to Empower Your Self-Awareness

6 July 2015 By Lalita Raman Leave a Comment

“I am aware about that.” “Yeah, I know that.” “I have been through this before. This was Anna*, a client of mine, in her first couple of one-on-one coaching sessions with me, repeatedly told me in different always that she is a self-aware person.

Being self-aware is great and one of the first steps to your personal growth and development. And what are you doing with that awareness is even more important? What are you doing with being in “The Know”

Let’s take a closer look at the steps you can take once you are aware.

 

1. What Action Can I Take?

This is a powerful question you can ask yourself from time to time and when you are in “The know”. This helps you to put that awareness into taking some action. To motivate yourself, ask yourself what action can you take in the next 1 hour, in a day, in a week and so on.

If your goal is to participate in a triathlon in six months’ time, and you are aware that you need to train, what actions can you take, on a daily basis, to get the training kick started?

This can apply to any goal, skill or result that you need to achieve including being self-confident, authentic, able to influence and inspire others.

2. Why do I need to take the action ?

Taking action or not depends on how excited you are to achieve your goal. For example, If you are aware that your inner dialogue is stopping you from being an impactful communicator, you need to ask yourself why do you want to become an impactful communicator, what are the results you will achieve once you are an impactful communicator and how important are these results to you?

3. Why am I doing what I am doing ?

Connecting with your purpose helps you to achieve clarity in order to move forward. Your self-awareness will help you to set up structures in place so that you can take action towards the purpose you are motivated by.

4. What is your mindset?

Having a negative mindset accelerates your self-criticism without you being able to achieve the desired outcomes.

#Positive #mindset is critical to build your #resilience to keep going when the going gets tough.

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Use your self-awareness to determine what you did well when you made a shift in your perspective last time or when you overcame a challenge, what could you improve to get better results and what is stopping you from achieving your desired outcomes?

Visualize what will it be like if you achieve your desired goal. This visualization makes the goal powerful, positive and present and achievable.

Control your inner dialogue or self-talk towards accomplishing your development and growth.

5. What will happen if I don’t do anything with my awareness?

This is a great way to motivate yourself or push yourself to action. Reminding yourself of the consequences of not taking action is a great way to stop procrastinating.

Our brain is motivated to take action by perceived pain or pleasure.

Dr. Kringelbach suggests that this relationship between pain and pleasure would be evolutionarily efficient, because it was necessary to know whether or not to avoid or approach something for survival. According to Dr. Norman Doidge, the brain is limited in the sense that it tends to focus on the most used pathways.

6. What will happen if I take the action that I am aware about?

This is the pull factor and you gear your brain and drive yourself to the desired action. Use your awareness to achieve your desired goal. In all this, don’t forget to give credit to yourself in what you have accomplished.

Self-awareness includes:

↪️ recognizing our destructive thought patterns and taking action to work through them and overcome them
↪️ understanding our emotions – how we react to behaviors and events around us, what triggers the negative emotions and once you understand how can you manage the negative triggers
↪️ not only noticing our patterns of behaviors and actions but creating the necessary shift to overcome those that are disruptive
↪️ we are not in control of everything that happens around us but we are in control of our attitude and the mindset that we take to every situation.
↪️ that each of us have a choice and that we are responsible for our actions in our moment of choice.

#Self-awareness takes prolonged #focus and #effort. #EI #personaldevelopment #growth

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If you want to be self-aware and keen on making a shift in your leadership and communication style, please connect with me.

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Filed Under: Attitude, Coaching, Communication, Emotions, Energize Your Leadership, Habits, Integrity, Lead By Example, Lead From Within, Leadership & Personal Development, Life, self-awareness Tagged With: attitude, authentic, Communication, Dale Carnegie, Influence, lead by example, leadfromwithin, mindset, positive, Self-Awareness, Self-Confident

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