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Five Key Questions To Create An Emotionally Engaging Experience For Your Customer

20 October 2015 By Lalita Raman Leave a Comment

https://flic.kr/p/73ZMzw

Human beings are emotional beings. No matter what role you are in, the art of persuasion appeals to three main areas –

Ethos:

Your #credibility comes from not only what you say but how you say. #ethos #CSR

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Your tone, body language, facial expressions and words matter.

Logos: the logic that you use to support a claim (induction and deduction); any form of evidence that helps you appeal to the rational sense of your audience.

Pathos: the emotional or motivational appeal and herein too, the way you communicate is important.

Three weeks back, a dress that I liked, was on sale in one of the reputed stores and I decided to place the order on-line. When I logged in, I got a message that the size I was looking for was out of stock. I decided to avail of the wait list option that was offered to me. Within 4-5 days, I got an email notification that the wait list item was available and I need to place an order soon. It so happened that the item was still available and I placed the order. I got a confirmation that the order was received and I would get a notification as soon as the order was shipped. Two days later, I receive an email that the order was cancelled and no reason was given. All the email stated was, order cancelled and If you want reply or call. My experience calling their customer service, in the past, has not been pleasant and so I decided to email them requesting them to give me a reason as to why the order was cancelled. The email response was strange, in that they responded saying, sorry place the order again, we could not read your credit card no. To me the content of this response and the tone used was one of “no care”. I had not entered the credit card no with my hand to be told that they could not read it. If it was their system issue that somehow they had lost the credit card no, it was not my fault. Despite all this, this renowned store and one of the biggest and oldest stores in the US, that has an on-line facility, did not apologize and worse, dictated to me that I place the order again.

A relationship with a customer is built, when you can map the journey of your customer through notably, the rational side of the experience and also make it emotionally engaging in a way that it addresses their need and drives value for them. Value is driven from the time the customer or potential customer starts their journey either with exploring your website, entering your shop, speaking to your customer service, sales or marketing, or any other form of contact, that they have with your company. And it does not necessarily end with the goods or services delivered to them.

Why do representatives of organizations, big or small, forget that shopping for anything or dealing with banks or credit cards or any other type of service needs to be “An Experience”? You and your organization need to build an emotionally engaging experience that drives customer loyalty and customer retention.

Seek to ask and understand what the #customer is expecting and feeling coming into the experience.

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This is imperative, for you to understand how you can manage the emotions of your customers in order to create an enjoyable experience for them. The journey is not solely about the touch points of interaction but the entire experience.

When you book a table at a restaurant, the experience includes the way they handle your booking, the way you are greeted at the restaurant, how efficiently and courteously they take you to your table, how soon do they make you feel comfortable by way of their ambience, the way the waiter/waitress speak with you, how soon do they get the menu, how well they explain the dishes, where required, how they take care of the little things that matter, the quality of the dishes, the hygiene level, the waiting time for your order and the checkout process. If you have had a good experience the first time, you will go there repeatedly, as long as the experience continues consistently. It is the same, no matter, whether it is calling your bank, dealing with your broker, buying a house, dealing with your private banker, shopping on-line or on-line subscription to a journal or blog.

Dealing with an organization should not increase stress and anxiety and when it does, the emotional experience leaves a bad taste and the organization loses its value in the customer’s eye.

How do you create an Emotionally Engaging Experience for your customer?

 

1. Are you listening to your customers ?

Listening to your customers, from an emotional and rational perspective for business as usual, for your innovate ideas, for the complaints and the not too pleasant experience that your customer faces, is at the heart of creating a customer-centric culture.

You build client-centricity when you put yourself in their shoes to know what they experience.

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2.Are you looking at the customer’s journey from an emotional perspective?

We enjoy movies with a good story and direction and more importantly those with good actors and actress. The story is taken to a deeper level when the actor or actress plays the role in a way that you get so involved in the character of that story.

Marlon Brando, Al Pacino, Robert De Niro, Jack Nicholson and Dustin Hoffman are just a few famous names and are now possibly the most famous advocates of getting into character by living and breathing every nuance of the world they inhabit.

Hoffman, a method actor by trade, got so prepared for the character he played in Marathon Man, that he lost 15 pounds after running up to four miles a day to get in shape for the demanding role. Legendary Producer Robert Evans claimed that Hoffman would never come into a scene faking the heavy breathing required, and that he would simply run half a mile right before director John Schlesinger yelled ‘action’ to make the scene more believable.

No better way to get and create the emotional experience that a customer gets while dealing with your organization than putting yourself in the shoes of your customer. Visualize how your customer would want the experience to be and map out the behaviors necessary to enable this.

3.How Are You Honoring Your Client’s Perspective?

Your opinions and views don’t matter when you deal with a client. Rational and logic may be useful  and understanding a client from an emotional perspective will go a long way to keep a client fulfilled. Even if you don’t always agree with your client, it’s important to respect their perspective and needs. By understanding your client and their perspective, you establish the trust and make it a memorable experience for the client.

4.Are you hiring the right people?

Who are your hiring to create a valuable and customer-centric culture in your organization? What are their values ? Does it match with the overall vision and purpose of the organization? Your employees are the source to create a rich experience for the clients who deal with your organization.

People who #care for their organization and are treated well by their bosses are #engaged.

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They will focus on doing the right things including creating an experience of dealing with your organization enriching.

5.Do you ask relevant questions ?

Having an empathetic ear to issues that your client faces is one of the best ways to create a long-term relationship with the client. Watch your tone of voice or tone of the email, body language and the words you choose during your interaction. By asking questions such as how may I help you? What is one thing you would like me to do to rectify the situation?, you show empathy and humanity.

Be open, yet circumspect, because this enables you to be in the moment, to ask relevant questions, establish trust and allows the other person to open up. Being over smart never helps because that is going to aggravate your customer and worsen the relationship.

To create a memorable journey for a customer, observe and listen for cues on what do your customers expect from dealing with your organization’s product and services, what would you expect if you were a customer of your products and services, how others want to interact. Adapt your communication style and this applies to every part of the organization, irrespective of customer facing or not, to what your customer may want.

One of my yoga instructors recently remarked that Yoga is not something to get over and done with. It is an experience, an experience of growing strong, breathing and being present in the moment and this has to come from within. Coming from within is something each of are responsible for and the journey is made more pleasant by the instructor’s way of instructing, the rhythm and flow of the class and poses which enables you to breathe, even in your most challenging moment. In the same way, when you are delivering a product or service, no matter the industry, make it a memorable experience and journey for your customer because we are emotional beings and you will drive value for your clients.

From My Professional Experience to Your Success, please contact me for one-on-one coaching, training, group coaching, facilitation, speaking and workshops. 

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Filed Under: Brand You, Character, Coaching, Communication, Customer Service and Sales, Emotions, Employee Engagement, Energize Your Leadership, Integrity, Lead By Example, Lead From Within, Leadership & Personal Development, Sales Leadership, self-awareness Tagged With: client-centricity, Communication, customer, customer loyalty, EI, emotional engagement, EQ, lead by example, leadfromwithin

Five Ways How Yoga Can Make you a Better Leader

31 August 2015 By Lalita Raman 2 Comments

Why Do You Do What You Do ?

Fitness is not just about how physically fit you are. It is about “the intention” with which you work-out at the gym (cardio and/or weights training), or while walking, running or practicing yoga. And in any of these forms of fitness training, physical fitness cannot be achieved without the mental well-being. Setting an intention ahead of the workout helps you to be #mindful on the path to achieving your goal.

Setting an #intention is about being conscious of #why you do what you do. #leadership #mindfulness #transitions

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Most of us experience overwhelm on some days of the week in our lives. Overcoming stress is about taking the right mental attitude to deal with what causes the exhaustion and overwhelm.

Yoga is not just about relaxing, it is about meditation in flow and mindfulness whilst doing the various asanas (poses). It is not about what you want but what you achieve and yoga helps you to do that.

Yoga can be practiced in addition to your gym or running or in isolation.

Here are my favorite reasons to bring yoga as part of your daily life as an entrepreneur and leader 

1. Letting Go of Control

As an entrepreneur or as an employee, you are constantly making decisions and doing something. You are also possibly managing people and coordinating your team’s efforts. If you go to a yoga class, you are led by the instructor. Of course, you choose whose class you want to attend, the type of class you want to attend. Once you are in the class, there is no turning back. You need to go with the flow. You learn to appreciate the importance of giving clear instructions and showing empathy whilst doing the same. Even if you are used to a particular instructor’s style, each day is different for them and you and you have to learn to give in and be in the moment. Not doing so leads to irritation, stress and finally not achieving the purpose of being at yoga.

[Tweet “As a #leader, you need to let go and be in the moment to #trust your gut and your team. #leadership]

2. Do away with Judgment

Over more than 10 years that I have been practicing yoga, I have realized that whenever I judge myself, I lose my focus and chances of injury are higher. Reacting to frustrations or letting your ego get the better of you during yoga makes you distracted, and the results not so desirable.

As an entrepreneur and leader, growth and development is key and making judgment on yourself and others, distracts and deters you from achieving your goal.

3. Patience

Yoga teaches you to be patient. Each day is different and your mental and physical being is different. If you don’t realize and accept this, you can experience frustration. In our daily life, it takes time to reach our goal and achieve our vision. Progress is made slowly and yoga teaches you to be humble and patient. What is most important in your life’s journey is your intention, effort and passion.

4. Connecting

Working and thinking non-stop tires your brain. To be effective and efficient, you need to take timely breaks. Yoga helps you to connect with yourself by quietening your mind. It helps you foster mindfulness and gives your brain the much required break. To get over overwhelm and exhaustion, set aside time for mindfulness through yoga.

This helps you to be creative and get the breakthroughs you are seeking.

5. The Discipline of Flexibility

Every yoga practice requires an open mind and the willingness to accept that moment. To find the agility and flow despite what you are feeling in your body and mind, requires you to be adaptable.

In the same way, entrepreneurs and leaders need to be adaptable in their approach and flexible in the way they communicate.

When we are flexible and implement a wider range of communication skills and take risks to step out of our comfort zones, we become more open-minded and influence others as leaders in who we are ~Lalita

Yoga is a journey that teaches you to be humble, patient, step out of your comfort zone and learn to live in the moment. This is the journey that a leader needs to adopt to be inspirational and influential.

Leading an intentional life is about being conscious of your choices, leading from within, cherishing your relationships and your every living moment. 

Yoga has made me resilient and look at life mind fully and with enthusiasm, no matter what transitions in life I have had to face.

If you are looking to enhance your executive presence through transitions you face, please connect with me and let’s have a chat. 

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Filed Under: Attitude, Character, Coaching, Communication, Culture, Emotions, Employee Engagement, Energize Your Leadership, Entrepreneur, Habits, Health, Integrity, Lead By Example, Lead From Within, Leadership & Personal Development, Life, Meditation, Mindfulness, Relationships, self-awareness Tagged With: coaching, creativity, entrepreneur, judgement, lead by example, leadership. leader, leadfromwithin, overwhelm, stress, Transitions, Yoga

Life is A Choice – What Choices Are You Making?

10 August 2015 By Lalita Raman Leave a Comment

Each day we are faced with decisions and also correspondingly we are faced with choices. Even not making a choice, is a choice you make.

From what time you get off your bed, skip your breakfast, the color you will wear, your reactions to letting things go, to remaining silent on issues- these are all decisions we make each day and these decisions are based on choices we make.

Have you heard remarks similar to

– Lucky you, you have no kids, so you can decide whenever you want, to take holidays.
– it is amazing how you always make time to work out
– I envy you for the flexible work schedule that you have
– your house is so clean, I wish I could keep mine clean too
– how do you manage to organize yourself so well, day in and day out.

Do you realize that each of the above is a matter of choice? By deciding to go with the flow is also a choice you have made. Yes when we are kids, most decisions are made by our parents. However, thereafter, our life is based on decisions we take as a result of the choices we make. Choices are at the core of the fine line between Yes and No.

Without making a #choice, #uncertainty exists, and we feel #unsettling. #life #transitions

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Even in those moments in life when we feel we are taking chances, we are making choices. This may be a choice to do what we think is best at that moment in time.

You are making a choice in

→1. Who are your friends ?
→2. Who do you spend most of your time with?
→3. What typically is the theme of most of your conversations in your interactions?
→4. How do you talk about your upbringing and your parents?
→5. Do you use your sense of humor appropriately ?
→6. What type of books do you read?
→7. How often do you smile? Do you smile when you are overcome with anger to ease the emotion off?
→8. How do you react to injustice ?
→9. Do you tend to pass judgment and go with your bias?
→10. What do you eat most often?
→11. How important is time to you?
→12. How committed are you to your word?
→13. What type of movies and television programs do you watch ?
→14. How do you treat people who are of no significance to you ?
→15. How do you face and overcome challenges?
→16. What do you do in your spare time?
→17. Who are you when no one is watching ?
→18. How do you treat your body, mind and soul?
→19. What importance do you give to your health?
→20. What kind of clothes do you wear ?
→21. Do you take every chance to humiliate and insult someone else under the garb of sarcasm?
→22. Whose calls do you return?
→23. Do you choose to be a different person at home and socially ?
→24. Do you complain, criticize and condemn, most times?
→25. Do you hear or do you listen to understand ?
→26. Do you like to gossip ?
→27. What value does money play in your life?
→28. Do you tend to go with the flow or go with your inner voice?
→29. Do you disagree for the sake of disagreeing?
→30. How organized are you ?
→31. Do you always blame others for all your mistakes ?
→32. Do you accept your mistakes when you make one?
→33. How well do you use Sorry and Thank you ?
→34. How is your concentration on things you are doing ?
→35. Do you expect of others what you do not or wouldn’t do yourself?
→36. How do you manage emotions?
→37. How authentic are you in who you are and what you do?
→38. How do you treat feedback from others?
→39. How much do you allow your ego to control you ?
→40. How humble are you in your victories?
→41. What gets you out of bed?
→42. What angers you the most?
→43. Do you treat each person for who they are or do you tend to generalize and stereotype?
→44. What behaviors upset you ?
→45. How do you handle adversities that come your way?
→46. Do you consent to anything or do you want compliance to whatever you say?
→47. How do you take care of yourself?
→48. How much encouragement and appreciation do you give to your colleagues, team members, family and friends?
→49. When you have time, what do you reflect on?
→50. How do you communicate with people in your life?

The choices you make with respect to each of the above affects who you are. The above random list of 50 lays the framework for

What defines you?

What determines you?

Whom do you want to be ?

What choices have you made in the past and how could you have improved those for the current moment and the future ?

#Life Is A #Choice, Make The Most Of It. #transitions #changes #positivity

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How are you making your choices?

Any transition in our life creates a challenge. A transition is about a choice when you make one and if you are part of a transition beyond your control, you make a choice in how you handle it.

To breakthrough an impasse, deal with Transitions and Enhance Your Executive Presence, connect with me.

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Filed Under: Brand You, Character, Coaching, Communication, Culture, Emotions, Energize Your Leadership, Habits, Integrity, Lead By Example, Lead From Within, Leadership & Personal Development, Life, Mindfulness, Mobile Phone, Relationships, Travel Tagged With: choices, committed, lead by example, Leadership, leadfromwithin, life, Transitions, uncertainty

The 4 Cs Of Effective Communication

27 July 2015 By Lalita Raman Leave a Comment

It is no doubt that good leaders are also effective communicators.

“I don’t understand why anyone would have an issue with the way I communicate. I consider everyone’s view-point and yet my team and my boss feels that I am not being collaborative and I’m a control freak.”

This was the remark made by one of my clients (let’s call him Jeff) when I met him for the first time after he was assigned a coach by his organization.

Jeff had a tendency to talk indiscriminately. He never listened and never gave an opportunity to his audience, one on one or with several, to talk. At work, he overburdened his team, his peers, his direct reports with information. Added to this, he also had a habit of being in control too tightly; thus being perceived as stifling independent initiative. As a result of his micro-managing, he created resentment especially among his direct reports. Jeff caused ambiguity and unnecessary anxiety by not allowing others to talk and in not listening.

Jeff displayed strong self-confidence and his actions and behaviors indicated that he was in the best position to know what is really needed. He was thus perceived as self-centered or even arrogant at times; especially because he did not give others an opportunity to express themselves.

Is Communication “not listening”?

A colleague of mine has the habit of getting her family members and friends to say yes in a manner which is quite manipulative and coercive. She will ask those friends or family members to whom she has given gifts, isn’t what I gave you the best, you liked it no? I always give the best. She also has a habit of telling people to include her in her contact list and send her a what’s app and she asks them to do so by standing next to them and telling them to do so immediately. Whilst one can give her candid feedback about her gift and also say no or I’ll do it later to her what’s app request, most people don’t do so because no one wants to hurt her feelings. They also don’t want her to get upset on either being told ‘no’ or I’ll do it later.

Is Communication forcing yourself on others? Do you seek to force your opinion on others?

What is Effective Communication?

Those who inspire others as leaders influence by the way they act, how they communicate (what they say and how they say it). Bottom-line good leaders are good communicators.

Think about it, how can you inspire and influence others if you don’t communicate in a clear, credible and authentic way and don’t listen to what others have to say?

What are the key habits to adopt to become an effective communicator?

1. Connection

Communication is about engaging with others and in doing so you need to make the audience feel comfortable. For this you need to be self-aware – what is your communication style, what is working well and with whom and where you need to adapt. You need to understand others and adapt your style to make that connection.

Jeff was not self-aware nor did he take time to understand others.

2. Clarity and Conciseness

Communication does not mean you keep talking indiscriminately. Say what you have to say and say it in a concise way. Overloading people with information nonstop is not going to get or keep their attention. Being verbose kills your effectiveness. Be interactive and listen. Keep your communication simple, concrete and clear.

Jeff was thinking he was communicating effectively. However, he was the only one talking every time he was in conversation with another person – be it at meetings, one on one or on the phone. During his coaching, he realized he was long-winded and verbose in the way he communicated.

3. Confidence

Confidence is articulated in what you say and how you say it. Being self-confident doesn’t mean being self-centered and believing that you are the be all and end all to everything. Your words, facial expressions, body language, tone of voice all play an important part in the way others see you as confident or not.

#Confidence is also conveyed in the way you #listen. #communication

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Part of confidence is about how charismatic you are. If you are distracted or too self-centered, you will not be able to connect with others.

4. Concentrate and Comprehend

Listen with your eyes and ears.

You listen for feeling, meaning, behavior in #empathetic #listening. #communication #EI

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You sense what the other person is going through and you give your full undivided attention to your audience.

An effective and inspiring leader asks good questions and then listens with their eyes, ears, feeling and gives their full focus to their audience. You also look for the nonverbal cues. Sometimes a person’s facial expressions and body language will convey everything you need to know much more than their words.

Clearly, Jeff did not listen. Through coaching, he realized that even with his friends, he would ask a question and then interrupt them before they could complete a single sentence. He wanted to have a conversation with people but conversation was one way which was him talking continuously. My colleague, did the same by declaring her gift as the best and forcing people to do something without being empathetic to her audience. Her tone, body language and facial expressions were condescending and she did not give an opportunity to her audience to express their view-point.

5. Commitment

Say what you said you will do. Keep up your word. If you have delegated a task, provide an environment where you allow a person to grow and develop. By being a control freak, you will not gain the trust from others.

#Effective #communication is about how good are your inter-personal skills. #peopleskills #relationships

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Communication is what you say and how you say and in all this no matter whether you are informing, convincing, engaging or having your audience take action, you should care for your audience. 

For one-on-one coaching, speaking, facilitation of workshops or training on communications and leadership, please connect. 

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Filed Under: Coaching, Communication, Customer Service and Sales, Emotions, Employee Engagement, Energize Your Leadership, Habits, Lead By Example, Lead From Within, Leadership & Personal Development, Life, Relationships, Sales Leadership, self-awareness, Talent And Human Resources Tagged With: coaching, Commitment, Communication, confidence, Empathy, lead by example, Leadership, leadfromwithin, Listening, self-confidence

5 Effortless Ways to Empower Your Self-Awareness

6 July 2015 By Lalita Raman Leave a Comment

“I am aware about that.” “Yeah, I know that.” “I have been through this before. This was Anna*, a client of mine, in her first couple of one-on-one coaching sessions with me, repeatedly told me in different always that she is a self-aware person.

Being self-aware is great and one of the first steps to your personal growth and development. And what are you doing with that awareness is even more important? What are you doing with being in “The Know”

Let’s take a closer look at the steps you can take once you are aware.

 

1. What Action Can I Take?

This is a powerful question you can ask yourself from time to time and when you are in “The know”. This helps you to put that awareness into taking some action. To motivate yourself, ask yourself what action can you take in the next 1 hour, in a day, in a week and so on.

If your goal is to participate in a triathlon in six months’ time, and you are aware that you need to train, what actions can you take, on a daily basis, to get the training kick started?

This can apply to any goal, skill or result that you need to achieve including being self-confident, authentic, able to influence and inspire others.

2. Why do I need to take the action ?

Taking action or not depends on how excited you are to achieve your goal. For example, If you are aware that your inner dialogue is stopping you from being an impactful communicator, you need to ask yourself why do you want to become an impactful communicator, what are the results you will achieve once you are an impactful communicator and how important are these results to you?

3. Why am I doing what I am doing ?

Connecting with your purpose helps you to achieve clarity in order to move forward. Your self-awareness will help you to set up structures in place so that you can take action towards the purpose you are motivated by.

4. What is your mindset?

Having a negative mindset accelerates your self-criticism without you being able to achieve the desired outcomes.

#Positive #mindset is critical to build your #resilience to keep going when the going gets tough.

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Use your self-awareness to determine what you did well when you made a shift in your perspective last time or when you overcame a challenge, what could you improve to get better results and what is stopping you from achieving your desired outcomes?

Visualize what will it be like if you achieve your desired goal. This visualization makes the goal powerful, positive and present and achievable.

Control your inner dialogue or self-talk towards accomplishing your development and growth.

5. What will happen if I don’t do anything with my awareness?

This is a great way to motivate yourself or push yourself to action. Reminding yourself of the consequences of not taking action is a great way to stop procrastinating.

Our brain is motivated to take action by perceived pain or pleasure.

Dr. Kringelbach suggests that this relationship between pain and pleasure would be evolutionarily efficient, because it was necessary to know whether or not to avoid or approach something for survival. According to Dr. Norman Doidge, the brain is limited in the sense that it tends to focus on the most used pathways.

6. What will happen if I take the action that I am aware about?

This is the pull factor and you gear your brain and drive yourself to the desired action. Use your awareness to achieve your desired goal. In all this, don’t forget to give credit to yourself in what you have accomplished.

Self-awareness includes:

↪️ recognizing our destructive thought patterns and taking action to work through them and overcome them
↪️ understanding our emotions – how we react to behaviors and events around us, what triggers the negative emotions and once you understand how can you manage the negative triggers
↪️ not only noticing our patterns of behaviors and actions but creating the necessary shift to overcome those that are disruptive
↪️ we are not in control of everything that happens around us but we are in control of our attitude and the mindset that we take to every situation.
↪️ that each of us have a choice and that we are responsible for our actions in our moment of choice.

#Self-awareness takes prolonged #focus and #effort. #EI #personaldevelopment #growth

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If you want to be self-aware and keen on making a shift in your leadership and communication style, please connect with me.

*name changed

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Filed Under: Attitude, Coaching, Communication, Emotions, Energize Your Leadership, Habits, Integrity, Lead By Example, Lead From Within, Leadership & Personal Development, Life, self-awareness Tagged With: attitude, authentic, Communication, Dale Carnegie, Influence, lead by example, leadfromwithin, mindset, positive, Self-Awareness, Self-Confident

11 Credible Ways To Enhance Your Credibility

16 June 2015 By Lalita Raman 2 Comments

→Would you attend a workshop or a seminar or a speech by someone with no experience or ethos on their topic?
→Would you invest your money in a fund which has no track record nor does the fund manager have any relevant experience?
→Would you trust a real estate agent who has let you down previously?
→Would you be inspired by a leader who does not walk their talk and is not committed?

Your answer to all this is probably “NO”.

Last week, when I was delivering a training and going through the structure on how to agree to disagree and yet keep the communication lines open and the relationship intact some participants expressed concern on the process not working in a situation that they were facing. I shared with them an exact similar experience I faced during my corporate days and how we disagreed agreeably and the final goal was achieved. The participants didn’t know what to say and in fact their demeanor changed for the rest of the session. I had built my credibility with the participants by sharing with them a real experience when this process had worked.

What is credibility? Where does it come from and why is it important?

#Credibility is the #trust, #respect and #reliability that you create in your #actions.

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Credibility comes from your experience, from the way you behave, from who you are in what you do, what you say and how you do and how you say it.

#Credibility is required in every walk of your life and in every role that you play. #peopleskills

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There are eleven important elements to CREDIBILITY

1. Character

Your #character is one of the pillars of your #Credibility. #impression #peopleskills

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. No matter the adversities that you are facing in your life, your character has to stand through the test of time. Your core values determine who you are and your character needs to reflect that.

2.Respect

Respect is earned by your word, your behavior and actions. The more expertise you have, the greater your credibility.

3. EI

Being self-aware of your actions and the impact of your emotions on yourself and others. Do you have empathy for others? How do you manage your emotions in the moment of choice?

4. Diversity

Are you diverse in your thoughts, approaches to various challenges, and in your actions and behavior? Do you walk your talk on diversity?

5. Integrity

What are the choices you make in every moment? Are you committing to something that you consistently fail to deliver? By not keeping up your word, you build a bad image for yourself and sacrifice your integrity.

6. Buoyant

Negativity breeds negativity and you know how demoralizing that can be. Be optimistic and cheerful despite the odds in life.

7. Intuition

Trust your instincts and gut. You need to know yourself inside out. Is your behavior and actions reflecting your core values? Are you a person who can be relied upon?

Do you stay #true to your word? #credibility #trust #peopleskills #communication #image

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8. Leadership

You increase your credibility with all the above factors. You are someone who knows that the only way to get the best out of an argument is to avoid it. You learn from mistakes and are willing to accept your mistakes. You enhance your credibility when you lead by example and inspire others.

9. Ingenious

Your credibility is enhanced when you show how resourceful and inspiring you can be by your actions and behavior. I was prepared for the what in the training room and I dealt with the how by being present to what was happening in the room.

#Life is not a script and it is up to each of us to be enterprising to the situation at hand.

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10.Thoughtfulness

You could have years of experience, an excellent IQ but without being thoughtful to others feelings and emotions, you cannot get credibility nor maintain credibility. Be considerate to others and care for others.

11. Yes

Credibility is saying yes to all of the above because “you matter” and thus your credibility.

 

How do you bring credibility to what you do?

How do you add credibility to who you are?

Are you looking to enhance your executive presence, improve the way you communicate and inspire others as a leader? Please connect with me for one-on-one coaching or group workshops or webinars or learn more on what suits your needs.

 

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Filed Under: Attitude, Brand You, Character, Coaching, Communication, Customer Service and Sales, Emotions, Energize Your Leadership, Habits, Integrity, Lead By Example, Lead From Within, Leadership & Personal Development, Life, Relationships Tagged With: Buoyant, Communication, credibility, diversity, EI, integrity, Intuition, Leadership, leadfromwithin, respect

Empower And Energize The Brand Called “You”

1 June 2015 By Lalita Raman Leave a Comment

Well something’s lost, but something’s gained
In living every day.

I’ve looked at life from both sides now
From win and lose and still somehow
It’s life’s illusions I recall
I really don’t know life at all

I’ve looked at life from both sides now
From up and down, and still somehow
It’s life’s illusions I recall
I really don’t know life at all….

………………………………………..From Both Sides Now by Joni Mitchell

As I was listening to this song, I couldn’t help thinking that life is an untrodden path for each of us and we live day-to-day with a cup full of expectations. To have expectations is human and when you strive towards achieving your vision, it means making a conscious choice to clear your mind of misperceptions and preconceptions. It is about approaching your goal, as if it was for the first time, especially when things don’t go as per your expectations.Why? Because, otherwise, you will be sitting in judgment of yourselves, be on a critical path and not progress to what you want to achieve.

A vision is knowing who you are, what motivates you, where you are going and what will guide you in the journey of who you are.

Personal #branding is about being present, #passionate, #positive and #powerful.

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 In order to produce the results we seek, we need to engage in some activities and to engage in doing those things, we need to be real and willing to be flexible.

What Matters In Your Personal Brand ?

Who you are?

Who you are is Your purpose by which you are driven by even in the dullest moment of your life. This purpose is not about you but something in the big picture and one that enables you to set your path to achieving your vision and enables you to be who you value being. e.g. I am driven by inspiring and motivating others and helping people to believe in their positive potential.

Where are you going?

To have a picture of your future is important, otherwise you will feel you are on a road to nowhere. A result oriented future is important to know where you are going. This has to be specific and something that will motivate you in whatever you are doing and whoever you choose to be in getting there. It is about believing in yourself that you have unlimited potential, you are willing to learn from your mistakes and start afresh if necessary to get to your desired future. We are visual learners and having a mental image increases the likelihood of achieving it.

What guides you in the journey?

When you consciously act from your values, you can treat yourself and others with respect. Your Values guide you in being who you are and in what you do and finally achieving your purpose. Determine what your core values are and how are your actions and behaviors display the same.

What we do is important to each of us, in work and life and let’s not forget that this can be a source of fulfillment, financial and non-financial rewards, challenges, excitement, growth and one that gives meaning to our life. Brand “You” is about making that happen for you. It is about recognizing and understanding the You, so that you can give your best. It is about bringing your head, heart and soul in whatever you do and whoever you are. 

Build a #Brand “You” that enables you to represent who you are. #EnergizedLeaders

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→How are you building your Brand You?←

I recently co-authored a book with 15 others from around the globe. If you are an executive, a working mother, a corporate leader, a student, a parent, a small business owner, or a person who is looking for encouragement, support and motivation, I invite you to check out our new book “Energize Your Leadership”.

In this book 16 human beings from around the world come together based on a shared commitment to re-ignite the spark of leadership that is all too often dimmed by the intensity and challenges of modern life and work. This book is about our real life stories and how each of us in the journey of life have experienced frustrations, and have walked in your shoes and yet, got out of the low energy moments, to be who we wanted to be, in our life.

 It will encourage and motivate you because it is based on our lives. Available now on Amazon.com. Get your copy now. You will not regret your decision to make this investment.

Are you looking to enhance your executive presence, improve the way you communicate and inspire others as a leader? Please connect with me for one-on-one coaching or group workshops or webinars or learn more on what suits your needs.

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Filed Under: Attitude, Brand You, Character, Coaching, Communication, Emotions, Energize Your Leadership, Entrepreneur, Habits, Integrity, Lead By Example, Lead From Within, Leadership & Personal Development, Life Tagged With: Brand You, coaching, Communication, From Both Sides Now, Joni Mitchell, lead by example, Leadership, leadfromwithin, life, motivates, purpose, Vision

The “Why” of Questions

20 May 2015 By Lalita Raman Leave a Comment

Last week, when I was delivering a workshop on Building Your Executive Presence, one of the participants mentioned that her challenge was to answer questions at the end of a meeting or presentation. Questions often increase the pressure on the speaker in a presentation or during a meeting or interview.

However, asking questions shows enthusiasm on part of the listener. Asking questions enables the listener to seek more information, raise issues that you may not have thought of or makes you think of a different perspective. By asking relevant questions you enable a discussion perhaps to set the path to change the final decision.

Questions, if asked properly, with the right tone clarifies, digs deeper, elevates, adjoins and a person who is being asked questions should be happy about it unless they aren’t well prepared or want to avoid giving the answer or know the answer but aren’t in a position to disclose.

Proper questioning is becoming a lost skill or art.

If you have children and /or observe children, you will notice that they ask a lot of questions. They get to their end goal by asking their parents an incessant stream of questions like, Why do you do that? Or Why are you telling me not to do that ? Where are you going? Children, irrespective of culture or which country they come from, ask a lot of questions. However, when we become adults, there seems to be a sudden drop in questions.

→Why don’t adults ask questions?←

I have often heard the argument that children don’t understand many things and thus ask questions and as adults, we understand better and thus there is no necessity to ask so many questions.

I am not sure whether this argument holds any weight because we never stop learning and growing. We live in a world with attention spans getting shorter by the day. As a result, we are in a “get it done” mode instead of stepping back and asking “relevant” questions.

Our education system and the work environment rewards those who give solutions or answers. You are rarely rewarded for asking questions. By asking questions within your department or organization, you may be misunderstood as someone who is trying to rock the boat and also be considered a threat.

→Why the aversion to asking questions or being asked relevant questions?←

Is it fear or is it an indifference ?

As a leader, you want to be asking questions and you want to encourage those around you to ask relevant questions. You should know what kind of questions to ask, to arrive at better insights and decision-making.

#Questions are a great way to #engage your audience. #communication #EI #peopleskills

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The type of questions you ask depends on what you are trying to get at. Are you trying to seek more information, clarify a doubt that you have, challenge a different way of thinking?

Uses for Questions

1. Clarify

Ask questions to clarify intent or understand what has been said. These questions are great because if you ask the right clarification questions, you understand your audience better. These questions are simple, yet we may hesitate to ask because we tend to make assumptions and are worried about what others may think, if we ask questions.

2. Exploratory

How so? These are questions that helps you to get an explanation on a particular topic. They help you to explore further. These exploratory questions helps you to deepen your understanding on a particular topic.

3. Leading questions

You use leading questions when you try to lead the audience to your way of thinking. You can use them when you want to get the answer you want and leave the other person feeling that they have had a choice in closing a deal or sale. e.g. If that answers all your questions, shall we agree on the price ?

Leading questions should be used carefully because they could be seen as manipulative.

4. Elevating questions

These are questions that helps you to move from stuck to unstuck. These questions allow you to step back and look at the big picture and see the connections between various issues.

5. Funnel questions

This involves starting with general questions, and then zero in on a point in each answer, and asking more and more details at each level. This allows you to get deeper into a specific point. e.g.How many people attended the sales meeting? 10

From the 10, were all the seniors present from each department ?Yes

Did they agree to the proposal ? No, not all of them.

Did all of them disagree on the same issue? Yes

Was that on the duration of the project? Yes

These are some types of key questions and their uses.

#Leaders, by asking #questions, can persuade, encourage, #manage and #coach.

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 People learn by asking instead of telling. Leaders can motivate people by asking the right questions to help them get to “where they would like to be” in terms of their goal, from “where they are”.  

People participate in the world they create & a #leader can help them by asking #questions.

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A LEADER

Listens and Learns from others
Energizes their team and their organization
Actions positivity
Develops themselves and others
Empowers others to lead
Recognizes and Rewards achievement

And all of this is possible not by telling or commanding but by asking the right questions. Your body language and tone of voice also plays a part in the answers you get when you ask questions.

⇒What questions are you asking yourself to be on the path of learning and development?

⇒How are you using questions to be effective?

For speaking, one-on-one coaching, workshops on communication or leadership development, let’s connect.

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Filed Under: Attitude, Coaching, Communication, Culture, Customer Service and Sales, Energize Your Leadership, Habits, Integrity, Lead By Example, Lead From Within, Leadership & Personal Development, Life Tagged With: clarifies, develops, elevates, Empowerment, encourage, leadbyexample, leadfromwithin, Listening, Questions, recognises, Time

7 Better Ways To Prepare For “The First Time Experiences”

14 May 2015 By Lalita Raman Leave a Comment

This weekend, after finishing my workout, I was lost in my thoughts and reflections and I walked out of the gym little realizing, that I had forgotten my workout clothes at the gym. I go to the gym and yoga daily and this was the first time I had forgotten my gym gear. I was bothered on two counts, 1) how could I forget, when I had not forgotten to date and 2) I had picked up a new workout gear and that was the first day I had tried it out and thus didn’t want to lose it. I must have in my mind played several times about how could I forget?

I had to break out of this guilt feeling and from my inner critique trying to put me down. I decided to take a step back and asked myself what is the worst that could happen ?

In the process of stepping out of my critical self, I realized there is a first time for everything – exciting things and experiences that you learn lessons from.

There is a First time:

In our new job
To fall in love
To dance
To cook
To be a boss
To be a speaker
To lose our phone
To forget an important birthday and the list continues

My first time to forget something in the gym is part of this list as well.

The first time for everything is filled with various emotions of excitement, fear, disappointment, self-criticism, hope.

Your fear possibly comes from the fear of loss, or failure or doing something wrong and thinking about what impression you would make on somebody in that first time. The stress caused by over thinking and over analyzing the situation is not worth it. It is like adding fuel to the fire. [Tweet “#Worrying about the situation is not going to help you achieve the desired outcome of the situation. #fear]

What are some of the steps you can take ?

1. Stop worrying

You are not going to do something better because you worry and stress about it. Anxiety to some extent is good because it will help you do better. However, over stress and nervousness is not an impetus to better your performance. I was worrying about forgetting something and possibly losing it. The stress that I put myself through is not going to help me bring back the thing nor stop me from forgetting something else next time.

2. Perfection or build towards excellence

When we are engaged in doing something for the first time, we want to attain perfection. However, perfection is a myth that is in our own minds.

I was delivering a workshop on Executive Presence last week and I heard from one of the participants as to how stressed she was because she was making a presentation for the first time in front of a senior group of executives within her firm. A conversation with her revealed that the stress that she put herself through to be perfect didn’t help her and in fact the audience members were not in any way assessing her or being demanding. She had let herself imagine about situations which didn’t exist.

We can strive towards #excellence and seek to improve each time. #leadership #leadbyexample #trust

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 We learn from our mistakes and be it driving for the first time or making a presentation, stressing about perfection is not going to make us deliver the results we seek.

3. Focus

We make first impressions of others within the first 5-10 seconds of noticing someone. No matter what you do, first impression is already formed. If you focus on what others are going to think of you, your focus will be diverted from what you want to deliver and the end result may be something far from your expectation and in turn may also give adequate ammunition for others to form a bad impression on you.

Stop thinking of what others will think of you. 

#Focus on what you need to do. #Believe in yourself. #mindset #attitude

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4.Do first things often because it allows you to challenge yourself

We get into cruise control and in our comfort zone. If you stay too long within your comfort zone, you get complacent and deny yourself the ability to grow and move towards excellence. Try new things often so that you don’t forget what it is to feel uncomfortable, and in that process to learn,  challenge yourself, grow and build your Executive Presence.

5.Plan and prepare

Plan and prepare whether you are doing something for the first time or not. 

#Prepare yourself for “the what” and trust yourself to deal with “the how”. #leadership #life

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Planning and preparation is essential and don’t make the mistake of over doing it, because that may not allow you to be present in the moment to deal with what happens then.

6. Reflect and learn

Reflecting on what went well, what did I learn, what could I have done different helps me to move forward. When things don’t go as per your expectation, you may tend to focus on what you did wrong and on the negatives. I blamed myself for having forgotten my gym gear, and that negativity didn’t help me to focus on things that followed after I left the gym. When I focused on what I learnt from that experience, my mindset changed and I was able to focus on the tasks that I was doing thereafter.

7.Let go

By letting go you give yourself permission to be in the moment and to #focus on things that need your attention. #mindfulness #life #leadership.

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One of my yoga instructors in her class mentions and I quote “your body can take on this challenge and do it, your mind believes you can’t do. Focus on your breathing and believe you can do it”. When I go with the flow, and not allow my mind to wander, I am able to achieve what needs to be done and this is true in yoga, work and life.

When we fear about what the end may look like be it on a new job, new task, presentation, forgetting something we lose focus on the now.  Focus on the journey and not the end, to deliver the results you want.

By allowing our mind to control us, we constantly live in conjectures. Letting go is difficult and yet when done achieves results you seek.

I got my gym gear back and I learnt that worry was unnecessary and that I need to let go more often. I also learnt that  I do know how to let go though my mind may make me believe that it is not easy.

Life is an unknown path and we tend to underestimate her. Certainty is good and life is not a certain path, so one way to enjoy life is to go with the flow and let yourself be. Every day is a different day and life is not a mathematics formula.

How do you deal with doing things the first time?

What have you learnt from  your first time experiences?

To build your executive presence, leadership and sales skills, please Connect with me for coaching, speaking or workshops.

Do you feel your energy is sapped and your enthusiasm is diving down? Buy your copy of Energize Your Leadership Today and reconnect with yourself through the 16 real stories in this book which I have co-authored with 15 others around the globe. 

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Filed Under: Attitude, Coaching, Communication, Emotions, Energize Your Leadership, Habits, Lead By Example, Lead From Within, Leadership & Personal Development, Life Tagged With: being present, excellence, fear, focus, Gym, lead by example, leadfromwithin, Love, perfection, presentation, speaker

9 Certain Ways To Deal With Difficult Conversations

8 May 2015 By Lalita Raman Leave a Comment

“I get tense and don’t look forward to the conversation I am going to have with my boss. She doesn’t seem to listen and I feel my tongue is tied and I leave the conversation or meeting with a lot of pent-up feelings and emotions.” This was one of my clients expressing her frustration in managing conversations with her boss.

Have you been in situations where you need to tell somebody something and yet don’t wish to spoil the relationship? Difficult conversations are not something most of us look forward to and yet they are part of our life.

I was in the midst of a difficult conversation with a colleague of mine, two weeks back. The first conversation didn’t go too well, with him doing all the talking and telling. I was cautious and at the end of the conversation realized that I had not expressed myself in the way I wanted to.

I had let my emotions take the better of me and did not permit my rational brain to have a clear, concise and assertive conversation. After the meeting, I asked myself several questions and I practiced on myself the same questions I ask of my clients whilst coaching them.

Tips To Deal With Difficult Conversations

1. Be present

This is crucial and I started off with this point because this is what helped me in my follow-up conversation with my colleague. Being present is essential to listen, to observe, to ask questions and be emotionally connected. It is easy to be lost in your own thoughts and rushing to say what you have to say especially if your brain is telling you to do it and you could not express yourself in your first conversation or past conversations with this person. I had listened to my colleague and yet I guess there was something in me that was not present and maybe I was so lost in my thoughts that I did not express myself or ask the right questions and allowed my judgment to color my thoughts.

We make observations and impressions about people and sometimes these become assertions. And we turn these assertions into facts. We may have formed an opinion about a person based on our past experience and we tend to make that as an assertion and convince ourselves that they are whom we assert them to be.

My colleague was doing this in our first conversation and instead of empathetically listening to him, I let my emotions take the better of me. Being present means to listen in mind-body and soul and adapt to the conversation that is happening between you and the other person instead of what is happening within your head. Cut out all forms of distraction and give your undivided attention.

2. Deal with emotions

We are emotional beings and some conversations trigger emotions in us and the other party. This is one of the most important reasons, why we don’t like to engage in difficult conversations. The way to deal with emotions, either in yourself or in the other person, is to name them: ‘I see you’re mad about that’ or ‘I feel sad about what happened’. When you call out emotions like that, you acknowledge it and facilitate an environment to talk about them. This is way better than getting lost in the destruction of the wave of emotion. To cool down your own emotion and not allow that to hijack the conversation, you may want to drink water or take a break in a manner that is most appropriate to that situation.

3.Think before you speak

Being aware about ours and others emotions not only helps us to recognise the emotions but also think before we speak. Think about why we think the way we think. This helps in situations where you may not be prepared or where you are prepared and the conversation may not be going along the path you expected. Asking the right questions also helps you to think and get more data to support your point of view.

4.Avoid words like But and However

Many conversations in our daily life starts with I appreciate your point of view ‘BUT’. I used to do this too and now I have become aware and consciously avoid using them even in daily conversations that may not be difficult. Words like ‘But’ and ‘However’, nullify what has been expressed before. Use ‘And’ instead. By using ‘ And’, you recognize that there could be another point of view and perspective. When you use ‘And’, you are indicating an inclusive stance, instead of using words which express that you are the only one that’s right.

5.Remind yourself of the ‘Why’

Setting yourself an intention before going into any conversation helps and if somebody catches you unawares, then during the conversation think of the Why. 

What is your #intention and why are you choosing to say what you say or not say? #leadfromwithin

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6.Respect

How you say, what you say is equally important.

The #words you choose and the #tone you use are equally important #communication #EI

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The nicest words will not land well if your tone and body language does not indicate the genuineness of what you are saying.

7.Clarify

We may be interpreting something based on our bias and the fact is we are all biased. We don’t need to run away with our bias to make interpretations which may exemplify the conflict. Clarify and ask questions. Clarify by paraphrasing and this allows you to check your understanding and show the person that you are listening.

8.Follow-Up

To ignore is easy. We are human and like to be paid importance to. Check-in with the person the day after or within a reasonable period of time. And if you felt that a proper closure did not happen in your last conversation, do it again if necessary.

9.Trust Your Gut

Your instinct and intuition is your best guide and go by it, If you feel you need to have another conversation, call on the person and say, “I feel we didn’t end on a good note” or “I feel I didn’t get a chance to express my point of view”. “Would you be open to sparing a few minutes, so that I can explain it better”?

My follow-up conversation with my colleague was smoother and both of us expressed what we had to say and we are still communicating and our relationship has got better for sure.

Our brain’s main function is to keep us alive and the one overriding basic principle of the brain’s operation is that all brains are constantly on the lookout for threat – and will continuously move ‘away’ from anything perceived as a threat and ‘toward’ anything perceived as a reward. This is our basic survival mechanism. Manage your brain and don’t cut yourself short by dreading difficult conversations.

The above are some tips. How do YOU deal with ‘Difficult Conversations’?

I work with clients to enhance their communication, self-confidence and in turn their executive presence. If you want to learn more please feel to connect with me.

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Filed Under: Attitude, Character, Coaching, Communication, Emotions, Energize Your Leadership, Habits, Lead By Example, Lead From Within, Leadership & Personal Development, Life Tagged With: And, But, Communication, Difficult conversations, emotions, lead by example, leadfromwithin

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