Little Things That Matter

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How To Practice Positive Leadership

9 September 2012 By Lalita Raman Leave a Comment

Pauline is sitting at her desk immersed in her own thoughts and going down the memory lane of her past 30 years.

Pauline still remembers the big day when she was 8 years old. She is waiting for her big day, the final competition for being declared “The Best Child Dancer under 10″ in the biggest competitions held by a TV channel in her country.  She is passionate about dancing and spends hours on her practice. The Finale arrives and she gives a mind-blowing performance. She wins the competition. She gets accolades, awards, appreciation of her performance.  She is exhilarated.

A smile returns to her face when she thinks about this moment.

She has won many awards thereafter not only in her country but also internationally. Dance is her passion but Pauline has always kept it as a hobby rather than make a career out of that. She is multi skilled and has never had any issues in trying out diverse things and out shining in each of those.  She is currently a Senior Executive with a top multinational  – she has spent over 10 years with this Company and has grown in her role.  She is one of the top performers and has contributed to the phenomenal growth of the Company. The Company will face a significant loss if she decides to leave the Company.

Pauline, however is not happy and she rarely shares or shows what is going on beneath the surface.  She continues to give her commitment to her role as a leader, manager and as a senior board member of the organization.  She manages to shut her emotions of not being content whilst she is at work.

A shrill telephone ring shakes Pauline out of her reverie….

Can you picture yourself in Pauline’s shoes ? You bring yourself to work and shut off some of your emotions and over time these get pent-up. No one at work asks you nor does your manager have the time for you, to connect or to find out how you are doing?  You feel like a cog in the wheel and over time it probably affects your productivity and your passion with which you do your work.

Human behavior flows from three main sources: desire, emotion, and knowledge – Plato

Strong emotions & feelings if not recognized tend to be a biggest drain and over time creates a vicious circle of Negative Emotions.

Not recognizing or appreciating the contribution of an individual in an organization affects the performance of not only that person but also the service to clients and possibly the competitive space of the organization.  Many times it isn’t only the financial rewards that count but it is necessary to improve the lines of communication, encourage positive energy which means work on building the strengths of an individual.

An organization is about people and each individual is unique. In meeting and surpassing revenue and growth targets, meeting deadlines, many a manager in an organization forget to truly connect with an individual, their interests and most of all create an environment to make them feel safe and wanted.

For the Full Article please click on the following LINK
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Filed Under: Coaching, Leadership & Personal Development Tagged With: amygdala, Appreciation, coaching, Compassion, David Rock, Empathy, lead from within, Positive Leadership, Solutions, Strengths, The Quiet Leadership

How To Take Charge Of Your Personal Growth : 10 Essentials

6 August 2012 By Lalita Raman Leave a Comment

“We want a world where life is preserved, and the quality of life is enriched for everybody, not only for the privileged.” ~ Isabel Allende

Personal Growth is one which I find it difficult to define because it encompasses a lot of things. When we are born, most of us are given a suitcase full of standards, acceptable behavior, things to learn,values & a whole load of do’s and don’ts. As we grow and progress in life we keep adding or throwing away some contents of this suitcase. Each of us thus become a product of the choices we have made or that we have consciously decided not to make.

How many times in your day-to-day life have you been told right from childhood, ” you can’t do this” or “you need to follow this”, or “the deadline for this project is 20 days from now”, “you need to get married by 25” or as a woman you hear “you need to behave lady like” or something similar.

We may choose to follow some of these instructions, advise or suggestions and yet others we ignore because we feel it is just gender stereotyping. However respect, being ethical and being human is something I would like to think that most of us are ingrained with while growing up. This value is further enhanced when we observe our parents, and the behavior of our community in which we socialize.

In today’s day and age I find many who have lost the basic etiquette of courtesy, and being polite.  Take the case of social media where you try to make new connections and most people love to get more and more followers. Whilst it is good to make new connections, I find it strange and disrespectful when some of them don’t even bother to acknowledge you when you RT them or react to something on their timeline (I’m not referring to trolls here). Why are we so keen to make new connections and being part of every form of social media when we can’t spend quality time on existing relationships, we don’t have time to acknowledge and ask how one is doing?

There are many who don’t give importance to loyalty and commitment to their word. People speak about change but refuse to change themselves and yet others who insult and abuse in the name of religion and ethics.

Isn’t Personal Growth about

  1. Achieving more love, belonging, better communication skills and relationships
  2. Accessing greater understanding and wisdom
  3. Aligning, anchoring and actualizing your goals
  4. Awakening the inner voice.
  5. Being a better communicator and listener and to relate to others feelings.
  6. Becoming an instrument of transformation for others
  7. Breaking through barriers, fears and limitations that hold you back. Learning how to create what you want
  8. Changing for the better. Maintain clarity and focus. Make shifts and change more quickly, with less pain. Draw out your own personal pathway to success. Know where you want to go. Know who you are and what you stand for
  9. Measuring, tracking and improving what is important
  10. Developing more self-trust and self-reliance.

Life is a journey where each of us face obstacles in pursuing goals, or in just living.   Some of us get overwhelmed with some of these hurdles and yet some of us work through these challenges and grow stronger. But isn’t life about learning, developing, growing and moving on to take new pursuits and face new challenges?

To me, personal growth is having integrity and being human.  Biggest value that any of us need to have and remember is to Be Human.   We are always one decision, one word, one reaction away from damaging what has taken us years to develop so don’t you think we need to be careful of our words and actions?

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Filed Under: Leadership & Personal Development, Life, Relationships, Social Media Tagged With: childhood, communicatiom, courtesy, Empathy, Facebook, Human, lead from within, personal growth, Social Media, Twitter, Values.

Coaching for Success – Top 9 Reasons To Hire A Coach

2 August 2012 By Lalita Raman Leave a Comment

A leader is one who inspires by their actions and receives a buy-in to their vision by what they are, how they act, and what they do.  A leader need not necessarily be one with a title. Leadership is not about the use of authority.   Most organizations have managers but not necessarily many of them are leaders in a true sense.

Many managers rely on authority and control to get the job done. They are directive in their management style and instruct, no matter how enthusiastic or self-starter some members of their team may be. Described conversationally, it’s “I talk, you listen … I direct, and you adhere. “Described attitudinally, it’s I’m the boss and I alone have the authority to decide how things are done. However, no matter how junior or inexperienced your team may be most of us don’t like being bossed around.  Ask yourself if you’d like to be commanded and instructed – fact is most of us including you resent it and the team whom you are managing resent you for doing it.  Authoritative and directive style management stifle creativity, enthusiasm, learning, transition, commitment, morale and the tenacity to stay on is broken.

In today’s world where attention spans are for less than a nano second and with companies expanding and becoming complex, most managers expect the work to be done without actually caring to determine if their team member/s have understood or not.  Many high performing individuals are frustrated because there is no one to listen to them or determine what they actually want. Also, many times authority-based systems are a breeding ground for abuse of power and are prone to creating oppressive work environments.

So what can organizations and individuals do in these kind of situations, where meeting deadlines and targets are important but a manager may not necessarily have time to help a person within their team through a transition. Who can assist you in these kind of situations

9 things your Coach can help you with: Click Link 

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Filed Under: Coaching Tagged With: Business Coaching, career coaching, coaching, Executive and Leadership Coaching, lead from within, Leadership, Leadership. Leader without a title, Life Coaching, negotiation, success

Life : 30 Little Things That Matter

29 July 2012 By Lalita Raman 2 Comments

Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things – Robert Brault

If you observe children, you realize that they are overjoyed by jumping into the pool and feeling the splash of water on their feet, their body, they are so happy with a kiss, a hug, a small piece of chocolate. We have all been in those exact same moments and feelings. As children each of us have taken pleasure and been overjoyed with playing in the sand, building sand castles in the beach, making a snowman and breaking it, going on a merry-go-round, birds, dogs, a pool of water, the sea, the bright colors around us and many more things.

As adults, however in our quest to accomplish big things we often forget that life is made up of little things. The happiness of life is in small things – gratitude from the heart, a smile, helping somebody in need to cross the street, holding the door open as a matter of courtesy for the person behind you. In today’s modern age and technology surrounded world why do we as so-called grown ups forget that it in these acts of trivialities that the seeds of joy are there forever.

We build big houses surround ourselves with gadgets and other luxuries and yet find no time to enjoy the small pleasures of life. How many times have you walked or gone for a run and forgotten to appreciate the beautiful weather, the less polluted air for those who live in big cities, the chirping of birds, or a smile from a stranger.

Most of us long for the weekend and fail to enjoy the week which may be filled with a lot of beautiful though small things like a compliment, a smile, a hug, a kind word, a cheer, feeling fit and fine, rising to a new dawn. We choose to concentrate and discuss about the rude boss, or the work load or some other person who may have been rude or showed a complete lack of etiquette.  Yes, those acts do spoil the moment and we can choose to get irritated, but best to get over it and move on to appreciate the beautiful things around us.  Nature is beautiful and yet we ignore her.

So what are these little things that matter in each of our lives during a day be it a work day or holiday or a vacation.

1. Smile – a smile from or to a stranger or from or to someone you see in the elevator quite often.

2. Walking bare feet on grass and yes this is possible even in cities. I know I’ve lived in 3-4 cities which is filled with concrete buildings and yet I have managed to walk bare feet on grass.

3. Listening to music either at work or after work.

4. Hearing the chirp of birds if you really pay attention.

5. For those who enjoy workouts, being able to go to the gym or yoga.

6. Meditation and the clarity that one achieves with this simple mind exercise.

7. Enjoying waterfalls or walking bare feet on sand in the beach.

8. The sound of waves hitting the shores.

9. If your meals are made for you, enjoy it, because not many are blessed with the grace of the same.

10. Learn to appreciate the two or three meals that you have on a daily basis and if you are blessed with variety on a daily basis, be thankful and enjoy it.

11. Being able to have a hot shower or bath.

12. Feel of water running down your fingers or feet and the tingling sensation.

13. Having access to clean water 24 by 7.

14. Appreciate the aroma and beauty of flowers.

15.I love colors, they brighten my day and whenever I’m feeling low I make sure I either wear a bright color or at least surround myself with bright colors.

16. A coffee just the way you like it and enjoy.

17. Sleeping in for an extra 15-30 minutes after the alarm has gone off on days you choose to.

18. To admire and enjoy the sunrise and or sunset.

19. Enjoying the greenery around you or getting to a place where you can be surrounded by the beauty of mother nature.

20 Lighting a candle of an aroma that you enjoy once you get home and allowing yourself to breathe in the beauty of life.

21. To have a long conversation with a friend.

22.A stretch or a massage which just feels so good and perks you up.

23. Doing something wild that you have always enjoyed. For me it is going on a roller coaster ride or sky diving or even venturing out on a difficult hike.

24. Striking conversations with strangers, obviously with someone whom you feel comfortable.

25. Reading a book and enjoying every moment as you turn the pages.

26. Watching one of your favorite TV shows by cuddling yourself up in bed or on your couch.

27. We often buy gifts for others, and praise them for good work done but we forget to treat ourselves when we have achieved something which we had set a goal on. Pat yourself on the back and enjoy your achievements no matter how small they may be.

28. Take the time to feel your surroundings, to enjoy that cup of coffee, savor the chocolate, feel the hug, or relish every sip of wine.

29. Laugh out loud and enjoy the feeling.

30. Count your blessings no matter what they are, make it special for yourself and it does not matter if it is important to anyone else or not.

We all cherish some of our bygone moments as memories which is great but let’s be mindful and cherish the moments as they happen.

The list can go on and on.  What are the little things that matters to you that you would like to share?  Please feel free to share in the Comments Section.

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Filed Under: Life Tagged With: beach, beauty, children, flowers, happiness, hug, lead from within, life, Nature, rain, smile, snowman, sunrise, sunset

Top 5 Reasons to Show Gratitude

15 July 2012 By Lalita Raman 4 Comments

Early this week I got chatting with one of my friends on Twitter ( @SusanMarie_NY).  The discussion started off on a quote by Bruce Lee and somewhere along the way we started discussing the quote by Aldous Huxley “Most human beings have an almost infinite capacity for taking things for granted.”

She mentioned about a day when she was feeling miserable waiting at the dentist for her turn and then her attention was suddenly caught by 5 children in wheelchairs being brought in by a school. She was thunderstruck that they were all so happy though they could not walk……

When you come across such meetings in life, don’t things automatically fall in perspective and you realize that we take many things for granted.

More often than not, many of us tend to moan about not having a good dress to wear for a party or not having enough time to be on Social Media or not liking the food since it quite didn’t match our expectation. But when we do so, have we ever asked ourselves what about those who wear torn clothes or have no clothes to wear or those who are fighting for life and or are in a vegetative state or those who have no food to eat.

When I travel, I learn not only about the city, the people, the culture but also realize how lucky I’m in many ways in the city I live in terms of the facilities and efficiency and remind myself I should stop complaining about the city I live in.

Gratitude, an act which we ever so often forget but need to keep it as part of our daily lives. Why Show Gratitude to people around us, things we have, people who care for us and many more..

1. Happiness – a heartfelt gratitude is pleasing to the soul. It reminds us of the positive things we have in our life.

2. Reminder – Many of us complain about Monday morning but have we ever thought there may be many who may not be seeing the Monday dawn. We complain about how stressful work is but what about those who have no work and struggling to find work to earn income. As I continued the conversation with my friend on Twitter, she mentioned something which brought tears to my eyes and I quote “When I begin to take things for granted, “I look at my arms and legs. I am serious.”

3. Peace  – when we pay gratitude to the little things – each day that dawns on us, our eyes, ears, nose, feet, legs, hands, we surround ourselves with peace. If you are at peace with yourself you will find serenity and peace at the world around you.

4. Stronger – life to any of us is never a bed of roses.  We face challenges, and some of these challenges could be nerve wrecking.  But if we allow oneself to step back and think how strong we became from the last daunting task, we will be thankful.  Let’s try to take every trial in life as an opportunity to get strong and be thankful that it makes us stronger.

5. Thank you – there is a God in each of us. Most of us believe in a higher power or God but have you ever realized that God could be in the form of a complete stranger who has helped you by holding the door open for you when your hands are full with loads of bags or someone who has pulled you back from getting knocked over by a vehicle whilst you were walking lost in your thoughts. Each of us have people in the form of parents, brothers, sisters, friends, acquaintances, spouse who care for us, support us and help us. A big Thank you to people who care goes a long way in making their day and makes you feel good.  On Twitter, many of us follow others and vice versa and we strike a relationship with many of them. They become friends and some of them we probably have not met to date in real life. Many of them take time from their day to connect, retweet your posts or some part of your time line and yet I find many who on account of the several followers don’t even bother to acknowledge. You don’t lose anything with a Thank you or a smile as a form of gratitude.

Life has its strange twists and turns but let’s not forget the simple Thank you, Sorry and other forms of gratitude. Make sure when you show gratitude, let it be from within and from your heart.

I know I often complain and moan about how hard my day is or when I have aches and pains but when I see people who are possibly worse than me and still smiling and take life with a positive attitude, I remind myself to smile and look up at what I’ve got in life.

Charity begins at home and let’s start with those who make a difference in our lives each day, who care for us by thanking them

“It is easy to love the people far away. It is not always easy to love those close to us. It is easier to give a cup of rice to relieve hunger than to relieve the loneliness and pain of someone unloved in our own home. Bring love into your home for this is where our love for each other must start” – Mother Teresa

Do you have any experiences of gratitude that you would like to share?

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Filed Under: Habits, Leadership & Personal Development Tagged With: be a leader, children, God, Gratitude, habits, lead from within, Leadership, peace, Social Media, thank you, Twitter

Power of Listening – Shut Up and Listen Will Ya

13 July 2012 By Lalita Raman 1 Comment

“You have to learn to listen and listen to learn” ~unknown

Following my two earlier blog posts on The Art of Listening and How to Listen –  7 Simple Tips, I decided to share some of my thoughts and experiences on a Video Blog on the Power of Listening.

What is the most demanding feeling that most of us go through at a time when we are stressed and feel like we are about to breakdown. To be Listened?  The act of not listening indicates a complete disrespect and lack of focus in what the other party is saying.  Listening is not only with the ears but also with the eyes and the heart.

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Filed Under: Leadership & Personal Development, Video Blogs Tagged With: Blog, coaching, counseling, Empathy, Facebook, lead from within, Leadership, Listening, Silence, Social Media, stress, tips, Twitter, Video

10 Reasons Not To Give Up

2 July 2012 By Lalita Raman 2 Comments

Many of you who follow me on Twitter may know that I have the following statement on my Twitter bio “Don’t believe in giving up no matter what happens,not to shrink back but to move forward in life.”

Persistency is something I believe in and my friends and colleagues know me as a very tenacious person. I persist because I hope, I believe and I see potential.  While the path to achieve my final goal may change with experience that I gather during my journey, I believe in not giving up on anything that appeals to my within.

However, don’t each of us at some point in our journey of life, get to a part where we feel like just throwing it all away and walking away? Sometimes we stop trying even before start and other times we give up just before we are about to make that huge break-through. To keep trying be it at work or in a relationship does not necessarily mean allowing yourself to feel devalued or trampled.  But you need to evaluate options of achieving your end goal and change the course or methods to fulfill the same.

 10 Reasons Why You Should Not Give Up 

1. Choices – there are always possibilities and sometimes we get so frozen by what we choose to see that we block ourselves from looking at other alternatives.

2. Inspirers – every time you feel like giving up, be inspired by people who have achieved their dreams despite the odds – e.g. The man who lost his legs as a child scales Kilimanjaro with hands.

3. Failure – we allow failures and rejections during the course of our journey to become our self-limiting beliefs. However there is no one right path. What may have worked for me may not work for you and vice versa.  Success is not achieved in a day.

4. Mindset – we need to learn from our mistakes rather than just fold and walk away. Choose to walk away from the methods that have nor worked rather than away from your ultimate passion or goal.

5. Believe – we allow our surroundings to control us. We live in moments and many times allow that to dictate our beliefs and value systems. What has helped me in some of my vulnerable moments is to believe in myself, and be strong as difficult as it may be.

6. People who matter – accept critique to improve but don’t allow negative attitudes and haters to surround your life and dictate what you do. Learn to stay with people who challenge you but yet support you and care for you.

7. Evolve – always have a questioning mind. Ask yourself is that the best method, what are the options, if I started on a clean sheet of paper would I still look at the same options or choose something completely different.

8. Innovate – Our mind plays games and we need to control our mind rather than the other way around.  You may need to take the lead from someone else who has done it before. Listen to their success story and determine which of those you could apply to yourself.  Don’t reinvent the wheel but innovate on previous experiences where necessary.

9. Change – you should not be stuck by the alternatives that you have chosen.  Embrace change to the pathway to get to where you want to be.

10. Be your own friend – No one in the world is going to look at you if you are going to be miserable. Be your own best friend and be an optimist.

So Why You Should Not Give Up…

I’ve always been inspired by Pema Chodron and her thoughts…I quote.. “Every time we are willing to let go at the end of the out-breath, that’s fundamentally renunciation: learning how to let go of holding on and holding back”.

“The river flows rapidly down the mountain, and then all of a sudden it gets blocked with big boulders and lots of trees. The water can’t go any farther, even though it has tremendous force and forward energy. It just gets block there. That’s what happens with us too; we get blocked like that. Letting go at the end of the out-breath, letting the thoughts go, is like moving one of those boulders away so that the water can keep flowing, so that our energy and our life force can keep evolving and moving forward. We don’t, out of fear of the unknown, have to put up these blocks, these dams, that basically say no to life and to feeling life…Link

We hurt ourselves the most by giving up. We live but once and you and I have a calling in life… why give up?

For  Inspiration… Watch the Movie 127 Hours 

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Filed Under: Coaching, Emotions, Leadership & Personal Development, Life Tagged With: Change, evolve, give up, kilimanjaro, lead from within, Leadership, Pema Chodron

Commitment : Top 15 Questions You Need to Ask Yourself

28 June 2012 By Lalita Raman Leave a Comment

“What we speak becomes the house we live in.”-Hafez.

Remember you are only as good as your word and actions that match your word. Failing to keep your commitments is an indication that you don’t care about your vision, or word, your client, their time, and the outcomes.

Questions you need to ask yourself when your actions are not in sync with your word are:

  1. Do you have a clear goal and vision
  2. Are you trying to pursue one too many goals or things to do at the same time
  3. Are you trying to get some brownie points by agreeing to do something but have no real intention of doing it
  4. Are you trying to avoid a situation of open communication and dealing with the situation
  5. Have you prioritized your goals or list of activities…..?

For the Full Post, please click on the following link

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Filed Under: Character, Coaching, Habits, Integrity, Leadership & Personal Development Tagged With: be the one, Coach, coaching, Commitment, Communication, Improvement, lead from within, Leadership, walk the talk

8 Keys To A Relationship

24 June 2012 By Lalita Raman Leave a Comment

 

Photo Credits : Lalita Raman

Photo Credits : Lalita Raman

Those who fly solo often have the strongest wings – Unknown

I’ve always been enamored by this quote and to a very great extent it is true in terms of decisions and choices we make, the way we overcome a situation, and overall how we deal with the journey of life. However, we are not born alone, we live in a society, we live with other people like you and me and life teaches us that…

“Tough, you think you’ve got the stuff, You’re telling me and anyone, You’re hard enough,You don’t have to put up a fight,You don’t have to always be right, Let me take some of the punches,For you tonight, Listen to me now, I need to let you know,You don’t have to go it alone.”

Quoted from the U2 lyrics of ‘Sometimes You Can’t Make it On Your Own‘

Relationships to me means someone with whom you can share your completeness, be it a friend, a life partner, sister, brother, mother or father. A relationship should be one that recognizes you for what you are, challenges you, and allows you to grow.

I enjoy meeting people from different walks of life, from different countries because it enriches and inspires me. Some of these acquaintances have changed my perspective on life, have helped me overcome inhibitions, apprehensions and if nothing else has helped me become aware of my own strengths and uniqueness.

What are the keys to any relationship:

1. Space – the little space we allow and create in each of our relationships, be it a friend, spouse, sister, brother or parents, keeps it healthy and allows the relationship to nurture and grow.

2. Giving – no relationship can be one way. Being human, relationships go through highs and lows.  Each of us are driven by sensitivity, feelings and emotions. It is important to ‘give’ in a relationship, but you also need to know when to walk away or pull back.

3. Forgiving – we do get hurt from some relationships and as hard as it may be, it is best to forgive for our own peace of mind. The burden of carrying that hurt and anger is so heavy that we forget to be compassionate to ourselves. Forgiveness is just saying “I’m not going to allow what you did to me to ruin my life and growth.”

4. Worthy – You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot in someone’s life. Just like you don’t like to be forced into making space for someone in your life, don’t force someone to do the same. You are worthy and if the other person knows your worth they will make sure they see you in their life.  I’m a firm believer of relationships which stands the test of time and distance and resulting from a genuine need and desire for togetherness rather than by imposition and demand for an everlasting bond.

5. You Matter –  we are courteous and polite to our office colleagues and strangers on the road, but forget to extend the same to people who have been with us through thick and thin. We forget to thank them, recognize their presence and very often take them for granted. Imagine the joy you would feel if people with whom you have stood by acknowledge to you “You Matter”. Never make people in your life feel unwanted. Life is short and never miss an opportunity to show your gratitude.

6. Cris-cross – not every person you meet may be your cup of tea. Some will use you, some will inspire you, some will test you and some will be with you for the long run. Let go of those who decide to walk away for your own peace.

7. Communication – honesty and open communication is something we often take for granted. We allow our egos and pride to come in between relationships. We build walls rather than bridges. We live once, there may never be a tomorrow. Why hold on to ego and pride? No matter what or who you are, your attitude is the most important to keep a relationship healthy.

8. Gender – more often than not, men respond differently than women in relationships be it as a friend or spouse. Most men prefer to be curt and may not engage in niceties. That does not necessarily mean they don’t care. However most women, no matter how hectic their schedule may be between work and home commitments, find time to inquire about the overall well-being of the other. Women more often than not tend to share every detail of their day with their partner or friend and many times probably expect the same from the opposite sex be it a life partner or friend. Sometimes, our need for excessive communication can be draining leading to fatigue in a relationship.

Life has taught me that we need to give space even to our closest relationships. Each of us, man or woman, have our roles to play in life and none of us can get extra clingy. We need to allow and create the vacuum to grow the relationship.

Bottom-line a relationship can grow if it allows self acceptance, encouragement, give and take, emotional support and there is respect for each other.

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Filed Under: Relationships Tagged With: Gratitude, lead from within, Leadership, quote, relationships, solo, space, U2, You Matter

Multitasking – 3 Reasons Why You Should Stop and 6 Steps On How To

17 June 2012 By Lalita Raman 1 Comment

Most of us pride ourselves in multitasking. The more I think about multitasking, the more I feel that I probably don’t do full justice to any of the tasks at hand. Multitasking, I think possibly arises from distraction. The craze of Social Media, with the likes of Twitter, G+, Facebook, multiple chats (a friend of mine has possibly 35-40 chats going on at the same time …) has amplified our distraction. A study by Clifford Nass et al. at Stanford showed that heavy media multi-taskers are more susceptible to interference from irrelevant environmental stimuli and from irrelevant representations in memory.

Many of us at work read emails and try to respond to them while having a call with a client or a colleague or may be even during conference calls. Surely full focus and attention cannot be given to both these tasks. Why do otherwise intelligent people find it so easy to be distracted from what really matters? Why do we not give attention to the task at hand be it writing a blog, conceptual thinking with regard to one’s business or work or giving our undivided attention to someone who is talking.

In today’s world it is essential to be multi-skilled and multifaceted and the ability to switch effortlessly and effectively between various tasks is imperative.  But that is not multitasking. Having said that, let’s look at why we should not multi-task.

1.Research offers neurological evidence that the brain cannot effectively do two things at once -Rene Marois, PhD, Department of Psychology, Vanderbilt University

2.Effort and results are not linearly proportional.  In fact the Pareto Principle or the 80/20 rule means that in anything a few (20%) are vital and many(80%) are trivial. You can apply the 80/20 Rule to almost anything, from the science of management to the physical world.

One of my friends, who is a professor in a university, often, asks of his students to push their hands against something heavy and simultaneously solve math problems. In order to solve the simple math problem, the focus on pushing their hands against the heavy weight automatically reduces when compared to doing that activity on its own.  He asks them to engage in this activity to prove that multitasking deters productivity.

3.Performance suffers if you attempt two or more tasks that require the same brain functions. Most of us would be comfortable probably reading newspaper and listening to light music in the background.  However trying to be an active participant in a conference call and responding to emails simultaneously may not achieve optimal results in either because we use the same cognitive functions of the brain.

“There is time enough for everything in the course of the day, if you do but one thing at once, but there is not time enough in the year, if you will do two things at a time”  Lord Chesterfield, in a letter to his son in the 1740s.

Malcolm Gladwell in his book, “The Outliers : The Story of Success”, goes into depth about how all of the geniuses had worked 10,000 hours or more on their area of specialty before they became well-known. You will not be able work for so long unless and until you give full attention. All those who have achieved success credit it to practice and attention.  To Quote Isaac Newton-“If I have ever made any valuable discoveries, it has been due more to patient attention, than to any other talent.”

So how do we get away from these distractions or so-called multitasking:

1. To do list – Take a few minutes every day  either at the end of the day before you go to bed or at the beginning of the day to outline and write down the two or three most important things you want to accomplish tomorrow or on the day and the time by which you would like to achieve them.

2. Set a timer every hour. Pause and note all the tasks you are doing at that moment. Ask yourself: Am I doing what I most need to do right now?, Am I on track to complete my 2-3 most important tasks that I had enlisted.  How many times in each hour have I walked away from the original activity and checked emails, social media, and fallen prey to digital device distractions.

3. Mindfulness self-training – being aware of the current moment and emphasizing keeping one’s focus on the present moment and reducing distractions.  Systematically training your attention for e.g. Meditation or reading a good book and specifically assigning yourself some time each day to these activities will help improve your attention.

4. Life is short and you live once. Give your full attention to people, make them feel they matter. The best gift you can give to someone is your undivided attention.

5. Every time you get distracted or have an urge to do something else other than what you  originally set out to do, ask yourself is that the best use of my time? Do I really need to pay attention right now, to the activity that is distracting me?

6. Journaling – our mind wanders during the day since we probably have a million things to do, and achieve, which makes us agitated. Spending few hours a day writing your feelings, your emotions, things to do, ideas, frustrations helps to clear the mind and allows you to concentrate on those that deserves your utmost attention.

How has multitasking affected you, what steps have you taken to bring back your focus and attention? Please share in the comments section.

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Filed Under: Habits, Life, Social Media Tagged With: attention, be the one, Isaac Newton, lead from within, Leadership, Lord Chesterfield, meditation, mindfulness, multi-skilled, Multitasking, work, Yo Matter

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