Little Things That Matter

Learn From The Past, Live The Present and Have An Open Mind to Face Tomorrow

Top Five Questions On Work-Life Balance

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Lalita Raman

Lalita Raman

Jack has had several busy work weeks. His morning starts off early and his day doesn’t end till after midnight. He spends most of his weekends working. He realizes that he doesn’t have time for his family, friends or “me” time.
He was constantly in catch-up mode and feels he is in a manic rat-race. He wondered where and when he had lost his work-life balance.

Work-life balance is a catch-all phrase that is considered to be a big problem in many people’s life.
Do you think that work-life balance is an issue for you ?
What does the phrase work-life balance mean to you ?

1. Do you know who you are?
Have you discovered your a) personal goals, b) business and career goals and c) personal growth and development goals?
Personal goals – this is what drives you from moment to moment in your quest for knowledge, your relationships, your family, your desire to earn money, how you see yourself and in the society you live.
Business and career goals – This is the means (how) by which you achieve your personal (why) goals, both tangible and intangible. What skills do you need to develop your talents so that you can progress in your career.
Personal Development Goals – what is your purpose? What are your values? Who are you? An identity that is not associated with what you do but a reflection of your values and your behavior and action. This is the goal that assists you in growth and self-development.

2. What are you passionate about?
Think of all those things that you absolutely love to do. These are activities, which even if you do only for a short time in a day refreshes you. There are many times in our life where we cut down on our sleep, “me `time” and many other activities because we have to complete a project. I’ve found that even during these moments in my life, listening to music or working out may be for a short span of fifteen minutes helps me rejuvenate and I don’t feel overwhelmed. Taking time out for things you absolutely love helps you focus better.

3. What would you do if you had no limits or you knew you would not be judged for what you do?
Even if you are a person who is confident and not that concerned about what people think, you succumb to the pressure to excel in what you do. The pressure from your own inner standards and also one from the outer world where you want to be appreciated rather than judged. When you feel you are on a hamster wheel, asking yourself about the possibilities helps you break your mental frame of mind. Your priorities become clear when you let yourself lose from the shackles of your mind.

4. Do you take a flexible approach?
A routine and structure is good but every day need not look the same. Taking a break from the routine helps you re-energize. Sometimes your work may need more of your time and at other times your personal life. Be flexible.

5. Do you embrace perfection? Whilst there is nothing wrong in maintaining high standards of quality in whatever you deliver, you cannot be at all places at all times. Learn to let go be it at home or work. You are not indispensable and life at work or home will go on without you being present all the time at both these places.

If you set your priorities right and have made a choice to spend more time on one aspect of your life for a period of time, don’t allow your mind to play games. Go with the flow, be present in whatever you are doing and reenergize with power naps or breaks.

Whenever you feel imbalance in your work and personal life, reexamine your life, your time usage and determine if you need to re-prioritize.

What is your vision?
What do you seek to achieve?
What are you doing to get closer to your vision?

Top 5 Leadership Lessons From YOGA

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Lalita Raman

 

Are you wondering what yoga has to do with leadership?

I have done yoga for almost 10 years and I still continue to learn not only the yoga poses but what yoga can teach about myself, life and leadership. When I started yoga 10 years back, it was purely as an exercise and to improve my flexibility. Most of the yoga instructors will tell you that yoga is a connection between mind, body and soul and the common link is through your breath. I used to hear this but never quite understood the real essence.
My journey with yoga in the first two-three years, was one of hate and love. However, where I stand today with yoga is one of love, where I have learnt to overcome some of my frustrations of inflexibility. This is where yoga is like leadership, in that a leader doesn’t take credit only when the going is good but stands through tough times and journeys through them.

For the full post please click on the LINK

Top 5 Reasons to gain from “The Winter Of Our Discontent”

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Life is the best teacher and there is no preview to the various ups and downs that life presents to you in the journey with her.  No school, college or MBA can teach you how to deal with life, how you feel about your experiences and how not to be knocked out.

Many people you meet in your life tell you to be content with life. True that, but the following quote by Oscar Wilde has always been with me to make changes and facilitate growth from where I am.  “Discontent is the first step in the progress of a man or nation.”

Think about this quote carefully :

When have you really challenged yourself?

When have you strived to get something done?

When have you decided to end a relationship?

When have you decided to change your job or career?

When have you made life changing decisions?

In each of these situations above, is it from discontent with the current being or situation?

Should we be discontent all the time?

No, I cringe to imagine a situation of discontent all the time because that causes negativity and being in the spiral of negativity is possibly the worst damage that you could do to yourself.

Why and when is being discontent a true guide to life :

1. Cruise Control and operating on auto pilot– In her book, My Stroke of Insight, Jill Bolte Taylor, Ph.D. tells us and I quote

“In addition, our minds are highly sophisticated “seek and ye shall find” instruments.  We are designed to focus in on whatever we are looking for.  If I seek red in the world then I will find it everywhere.  Perhaps just a little in the beginning, but the longer I stay focused on looking for red, then before you know it, I will see red everywhere.”

If we settle for mediocrity when we are capable of lot more, we stop to grow. Observe a child and you’ll see how Children are so enthusiastic to learn, to explore, to dare and be curious. Curiosity to learn more about different things in life, different fields and phenomena should always be there. When you stop to learn discontent should enable us to take the next step forward which is to challenge our self for something different or new. ‘Unless you try to do something beyond what you have already mastered, you will never grow.’ ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

2. Control your mind – the power to control your mind rests with you and none other.  If you examine life, review, renew and search for new discoveries and push your mind to reach new destinations, you’ll participate in life. Discontentment should enable us to find our inner self and go on a journey within.

3. Relationships – treasure and thank those who didn’t leave you when you needed them the most. Thank those who stood by you during your hardships. Use discontent in some of your relationships to question your own behavior, behavior of others and decide whether to work on the relationship or move on and walk away.

 4. Question – In all forms of communication, one’s impact is most effective when we pay attention to the receipt of our influence.  Questions, in my view, allows one to listen and interject at the relevant time and get the other party engaged and excited about the conversation or the subject being discussed. In the relevant context, a question constructed and asked properly acts as a catalyst. Any question is relevant if asked in the right context and enables you to determine if you can continue to push forward, pull back or change your style.

Initiate and Embrace positive change, a change that leads to growth and improvement. You can initiate change only if you are discontent about the current state of affairs in some aspect of life.

5. Gratuitous – have a sense of gratitude with what you have but never be content with the kindness that you can spread amongst others and with others.  Avoid excesses in that don’t hoard things that are not essential since they will become a source of misery. “Become a hunter of blessings, actively seeking them out in every experience and person you encounter.” ~Kate Nowak

Being discontent with anything that triggers growth, improvement and development of self  is necessary but not one that will lead to negativity and complaints without striving for a positive change.  I would say let me choose to be discontent so that I can grow, develop, and create a positive influence.

Doesn’t Self Improvement Begin With Discontent ?

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Are You A Leader or a Manager ?

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A great person attracts great people and knows how to hold them together – Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

Leadership and management go hand in hand but yet we have great managers who may not be great leaders.

  • Have you identified why?
  • Have you had a high turnover because of your manager ?
  • Have you analyzed the traits of the team and those of the manager – High D,or C or S or I?

 Most of you may associate with the following descriptions of a leader and a manager.

Leader – one who inspires others by their actions and behavior. Leadership is a philosophy of life. Leadership is not about managing things but about developing people. It is about helping people to liberate the fullness of their talents while they pursue a vision that you have inspired them to buy into as a worthy and meaningful one. Great leaders are great teachers as well as great coaches.

Manager – managers direct and tell their team what to do. They plan for the achievement of day-to-day tasks and the goals of the department or group whom they manage. Managers, by nature, are concerned with outcomes.

A leader is not necessarily one with an organizational title but why don’t we have more managers considered as leaders?

Questions you need to ask is FOR FULL POST REFER LINK

In the organizational context, DISC can be used as a simple yet comprehensive construct to help leaders become more effective in the interpersonal aspects of leadership.

Dominance (“D” Factor) – How you handle problems and challenges

Influence (“I” Factor) – How you handle people and influence others

Steadiness (“S” Factor) – How you handle change and pace yourself

Compliance (“C” Factor) – How you handle rules and procedures set by others

For further details on DISC and taking the assessment, please contact me through the blog.  Thank you

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Leadership Qualities – Who Am I?

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Don’t wait for something outside of yourself to make you happy.  ~ E. Nightingale

Who Are You ? 

How many times have you been asked this question ? How many times have you asked this question of others? The typical answer that you get or give is that I’m an entrepreneur, investment banker, broker, sales director, CEO & Chairman of XXX Ltd., journalist, a rich man’s son or daughter with a name thrown in…  When we are born, most of us are given a suitcase full of standards, acceptable behavior, things to learn,values & a whole load of do’s and don’ts. As we grow and progress in life we keep adding or throwing away some contents of this suitcase. Each of us thus become a product of the choices we have made or that we have consciously decided not to make.

Since childhood, we have our dreams and we want to make them a reality. Part of these dreams is about what we become and that results in the career we choose.  However, many of us realize either early on or mid-life that the chosen career path is not one we enjoy or one that is necessarily nourishing to our soul.  Sometimes, you are also given a rude shock when you are asked to leave the company.  When life throws these challenges, you ask yourself “Who Am I”? You have always associated yourself with a role, a role of a CEO or chef but when life takes a sudden turn and you are not in that role for a period in time or when you are considering changing your career, you struggle to determine who you are?

Let me give you another example, a woman who becomes a mother and gives herself in being a mother feels a vacuum when her children grow up and move away to follow their own dreams. Each of us associate ourselves with being a sister, a father, a wife, a mother and many other roles played in our personal lives or organization or in our own business. These are all about Doing rather than Being.

Identity crisis comes about when roles no longer exist because of change in circumstances. The longest time you will ever live with someone is “Yourself” so it is imperative that each of us are able to answer the question “Who Am I.” This is an important question and it goes beyond one’s position, job, titles or status in society. These roles are “About You” but they don’t define you nor do they tell who you are, the person you are or the values you represent. Our choices determine who we are and who we will be. The decisions we make each day on every aspect that life presents us with, reveals who we are and what we are.

Yes you can choose to do all the best practices to make you the World’s Best Entrepreneur but what about the Being or To Be? How about being the world’s best entrepreneur in that I’ll be a thoughtful leader who helps others grow, develop and bring out their positive potential? You are the choices you make each day be it your reaction to something, or the people you choose to hang around with.  One’s environment plays a huge role in influencing who we are and the choice of the environment lies with each of us.  It is the festive and holiday season and each of us get to hear our share of Christmas carols and songs at shopping malls, at the gym, parties, restaurants.

I was at my gym for a Christmas Fitathon event last Saturday and as I was enjoying my working out, the song that was being played was Rudolph, The Red Nosed Reindeer. I personally like that song because it is quite peppy and cheers me up. This song got me thinking and I decided to explore a bit on Google to find out the story of Rudolph.  Bob May, the creator of Rudolph the Reindeer in some ways told his own story through Rudolph.  He was a misfit, an outcast, one who probably didn’t fit the single story stereotype. He had a tough childhood and he knew what it was to be different.

Story Links

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He created Rudolph to be different with his red shiny nose and he was always teased for how he looked.  What stood out to me in the story is that Rudolph recognized who he was and used his uniqueness to provide happiness and cheer to the children and many others around the world.

In all this, Bob May in his creation of Rudolph recognized who he was, and used his tenacity and imagination to please his child and at the same time millions around the world for centuries. He didn’t allow his role or his surroundings to pull him down and he worked on his strengths rather than focusing on his deficiencies.

I couldn’t have found a better summary of the Leadership Qualities in Rudolph and the following 7 points is an extract from  Rudolph: One of the Great Leaders of All Time!

“1. Rudolph’s story depicts him stepping up in the face of adversity. Without his willingness to do so, there would have been no leader and no Christmas.

2. Rudolph’s hoofed adventure distinguished him as a beacon of light–clearly identifying him as a leader.

3. Rudolph worked with the team despite his recognition (at least in song) that he was a star.

4. Rudolph surrounded himself with goal-oriented, hard-working reindeer.

5. Rudolph was smart; he was clever enough to survive delivering presents in the South despite having to do so during deer-hunting season!

6. Rudolph always maintained a positive attitude while leading the group.

7. Rudolph embraced his differences and turned them into strengths.”

Each of us can take a leaf out of Bob May’s or Rudolph’s qualities

What determines each of us ? Who Am I?

While this list is not exhaustive these are things I have learnt over the years what is most important to me and one I’m comfortable identifying myself with. Early this year, when I quit Corporate life to pursue a new career, a choice I consciously made, I suffered from an identity crisis and the transition from my role in the Corporate Life to what I do today made me want to put my thoughts of “Who Am I” on paper.

1. Being Compassionate

2. Being Gratuitous

3. Try to constantly renew, receive and reflect on life and my own actions and reactions.

4. Being led by my inner self and not by the external environment.

5. Listening so that I understand

6. Being humble

7. Learning from my mistakes

8. Asking the relevant questions

9. Being tolerant to myself and others especially when I’m frustrated

10.Not being afraid to say No or I don’t know when the situation demands

11. Making a difference each day

12. Learning to smile, to laugh, to let go and to forgive

13. Focusing on developing my strengths and that of others

14. Trusting oneself and letting go of self-limiting beliefs.

15. Being positive. Spreading the smile and act of kindness around in whatever I do and in whatever role I play in my daily life

Let me leave you with the Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer song

Merry Christmas to each of you and May the year 2013 be kind to each of us. Best Wishes. Lalita

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Top 5 Uses of “Powerful Questions”

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Understanding a question is half an answer – Socrates

How many times have you been confronted, during a presentation or at a meeting, with a question? A question that has made you think, engage you and pull you back into the conversation or dialogue where you might have lost focus.

In all forms of communication, one’s impact is most effective when we pay attention to the receipt of our influence.  Questions, in my view, allows one to listen and interject at the relevant time and get the other party engaged and excited about the conversation or the subject being discussed. In the relevant context, a question constructed and asked properly acts as a catalyst. Questioning skills deserve much more attention than they usually get.

Any question is relevant if asked in the right context and enables you to determine if you can continue to push forward, pull back or change your style.  The most important part of questions is that it should assist in keeping the parties in a dialogue engaged and enable you to influence someone’s behavior or thinking, latter especially useful in negotiations, coaching and mentoring.

Bottom line, questions enables you to think, create and enhance trust and strengthens communication amongst a team, and between two people.  Managers instead of telling one of their subordinates to get something done and not seeing results might do well by asking the right questions. Try it, and the results will amaze you.

For FULL POST, refer to the LINK

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Customer Service Excellence – 11 Key Questions

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Value Added Service

You decide to go to a restaurant with some friends for dinner. This restaurant prides itself in impeccable customer service, excellent delicacies, a new menu every week and the freshness of the dishes they serve. You look at the menu and decide on some dishes. You have some diet restrictions and request of the restaurant manager to serve you a salad without some items.  The restaurant manager refuses and tells you that the dishes have to be ordered as they are.  This is an expensive restaurant and you are not pleased and swear never to go back. On the other hand, now imagine a restaurant where the menu is simple, has limited variety but again prides itself in almost similar qualities as the first. However they are willing to be flexible and in terms of price is almost equally priced as the first one.

  • Which one would you go back to
  • Where do you see a value added service
  • Where do you think the price is justified
  • Who is actually walking the talk
Does pricey always mean value? The same dynamics of value creation can be extended to a sales role in any industry. In every sale, in every field if you have no real intention of creating value for your customer, then you aren’t selling. In selling and marketing you need to lead with your value and not your rates. You need to make it meaningful in that you create a better outcome for your clients.
When you say you add value to your clients in any organization it would imply adding value from an operational, functional view, and results in adding wealth to the overall business goal and this goal is in alignment with what your client needs. Are you listening to where you can add value for clients when you ask of a new client as to how they would like to be serviced?

There is a school of thought that most things are commoditized and yes over time if you don’t create your niche or add value, it’s easy to be a price taker than price maker. However everything can be differentiated, personalized, and there are opportunities to value price your services. The key is Customer Service Excellence (CSE) and all that goes with that. Developing CSE is an intangible, intellectual resource. You can take your clients as far you have gone yourself. They are probably looking for their better selves in you. YOU thus need to have that Edge. You need to create that value and walk your talk that you create value worth paying for.

For the full POST PLEASE CLICK THE LINK 

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Success : What does It Mean To You ?

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What does success mean to you?  I was asked this question by one of my friends last week. Definitely got me thinking and after some thought I responded to her by saying it is something that appeals to my within, an act and achievement of that act.  She looked at me with the most surprised look and remarked, “oh!, so it is not about promotions, getting compliments, having a big house, or a successful business”.
Yes, success to many of us at some point in our lives may be associated with materialistic concepts because as we are growing up in life those are the things that are given importance to.  I’ve been there, yearned for the same things but life has taught me that success at the end of the day is how well I choose to face my disappointments and change my path to achieve the vision, one that still appeals to my within.  To achieve success one requires confidence, clarity and self-awareness.Success does not mean absence of failure. In fact, I would say not trying at all is possibly the worst failure. Our thoughts guide us through our journey in life and a lot of this depends on what you believe. Self belief is an important ingredient to the path of success. “I believe I can” or “I believe I can’t”, frame our thoughts and more often than not it is these self-limiting beliefs that become hurdles in our path to success.

Let me give you an example,  one of my clients ? (Jim – not his real name) was narrating one of his experiences with his client and how he was getting very frustrated with his client’s inability to understand the nitty-gritty and the technicalities despite his efforts to explain the procedure in detail.  Jim had reached a stage of almost giving up and believed he will not achieve success with this client of his, despite his repeated attempts.  As part of Jim’s coaching sessions, I asked questions focussing on his strengths and to evaluate options not considered.  With the help of coaching, I made him realize that self belief is imperative and closely aligned with self belief is courage, commitment, patience, and flexibility to change approach to reach the final vision.
I believe that a good sales person is one who believes in their ability, the value of the product or service that they are offering and is able to convince their buyer re: the utility value of the product or the service. Real conviction comes from believing in something wholeheartedly and as a good sales person you share that belief with your clients and are able to convince them of the product or service.
Life to each of us is a sum collection of our beliefs and thoughts and translating our vision to reality. If you believe you are, you will be. Belief is translated in your audio and video.  When you have a strong belief in yourself, everything that you do will reveal this positive power of your belief.  And this, I believe is the key to success.  If you believe, you exhibit confidence and being confident matters to the success in what you seek to achieve.
Drawing an analogy, I would say, self belief is almost like an addiction – if you are addicted to your vision,  you will believe you will achieve success and be confident about it and work towards achieving your vision.
For the Full Post Please Click on the LINK

The Zen of Conflict Leadership – 5 Keys to deal with Conflicts

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“The better able team members are to engage, speak, listen, hear, interpret, and respond constructively, the more likely their teams are to leverage conflict rather than be leveled by it” Runde and Flanagan

Conflict is not something many of us like to be in. Many situations of conflict create a feeling of fight or flight. It triggers a lot of negative emotions including anger, turmoil and a sense of threat.

But is conflict really that bad at all times ?

Is it possible to accept conflict as a learning process ?

Peace is not the absence of conflict but it is the ability to deal with Conflict by way of creative alternatives to respond to situations of conflict.

What is Conflict ? Conflict arises from differences of opinion. It arises when people disagree over values, ideas, perceptions or even when led by different motivations.

Conflicts cannot be avoided because no two people can agree on everything at all times.  A better way to resolve conflicts is not to avoid it or runaway from it but deal with it in a constructive and positive manner.  Confidence comes from knowing that you have the skills to communicate in a difficult situation, and you have the ability to diagnose the situation accurately as you choose the best strategy for the situation.

5 Keys to resolving or dealing with conflicts – please click the LINK  for DETAILS

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What Makes You Come Alive?

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“The purpose of life is a life of purpose.” ― Robert Bryne

Life has a different meaning to each of us & in the many earth shattering moments that life presents us, some of us look for our calling. I believe that no matter how big or small, each of us, are driven by a purpose.

One of my friends had come to visit me a week back and we were catching up on family, events and life. She asked me how my parents were doing and I mentioned to her that my mom was not keeping too well. Her mom wasn’t keeping too well either. Each of us remarked that age adds its own share of twists and turns to life.

But then, I got thinking and told her, you know, what saddens me the most is that I feel that my mom has lost the drive, the sense of need to fight back. Of course her health has been challenging, but many times I feel she perhaps feels that she has lost the ‘Purpose’. My friend listening to my remark and my description of the various aspects of how my mom was, nodded in agreement.

Purpose in life is what leads us. This passion could be varied from bringing up children, serving and helping the needy, becoming one of the world’s richest entrepreneur, winning an Olympic medal, to looking after your family and home.

For each of us who are committed in doing what gives us joy, with sudden challenges like health issues, accidents or any other calamity, some of us feel cut off from our purpose. We feel there is no driving energy for our life.

My mom had a busy life and took joy in bringing up her two daughters, looking after her husband and her home. She made sure that the home was a temple filled with love, values and warmth. She worked hard for this and achieved this day in and day out. In the past few years on the advise of her doctor she is not allowed to do any household chores. May be, she feels that an important part of her life was taken away from her.

You may ask why don’t I ask her or talk to her. I have and continue to do so. She of course denies but I just sense a feeling of loss from her eye expressions and I feel sad.

We all live for a purpose and despite what life throws at us, somehow we need to get ourselves to change course without losing hope and momentum.  This is something that has to come from within. Hope is not something we can deny ourselves nor others. I don’t believe in giving false hope. You need to face reality but you should not lose enthusiasm nor lose the drive.

I constantly derive a lot of inspiration from my parents, my sister and from the various life stories of people that I meet or read or hear about.

One person who comes to my mind is Christopher Reeve.  Despite his paralysis, Reeve was determined to be financially self-sufficient. Less than a year after his injury, Reeve began to accept invitations for speaking engagements. He through his actions showed each of us that there can be life even after a serious injury and one should never give up.

Purpose in life is something each of us can associate with but sometimes we have to change paths to achieve our dreams or vision.

“There is a fire inside, Sit down beside it. Watch the flames, the ancient, flickering dance of yourself.” John MacEnulty

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