Little Things That Matter

Learn From The Past, Live The Present and Have An Open Mind to Face Tomorrow

5 Sure Ways To Manage Procrastination

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Source : National Geographic

As an entrepreneur and freelance consultant, I envision and strive to connect with my clients and grow my business and reach.

Growing my business and its reach is also a challenge, I need to face and overcome on a daily basis, and on some days I tend to procrastinate on better or improved ways to do it. I ask myself as to where I can grow and do better and thus push myself beyond my comfort zone.

Whilst I enjoy coaching, facilitating, speaking and designing workshops and preparing content for it, there are other activities that I usually tend to put away. Activities such as networking, finding clients who will benefit from coaching, writing my book (work in process), though I enjoy, I tend to push it away to either a later time or even worse, to a later day.

I think this happens because many times, my brain doesn’t see the immediate reward and thus it triggers various emotions such as self-criticizing, judgment, frustration and self-doubt.

Many clients whom I coach face a common barrier in time management and procrastination. Their barriers could result from lack of motivation, being a victim to  “The Tyranny of the Urgent”, or not being committed to what they want to achieve.

⇒How do you motivate yourself to take that next step?
⇒What can you do to manage your time in a day better?
⇒What are some of the reasons for not feeling a sense of urgency to accomplish a goal?
⇒How driven are you by your list of things to do? Are you able to see the link between what you need to do in order to get what you want?
⇒How are you managing your conflicting emotions and thus your brain to move forward and not procrastinate?

What strategies can you use to give you that adrenalin to “Just Do It”?

 

1. Use of words

What words are you using with respect to the activity that you are procrastinating on?

Is it necessity words like should be/do, must do, have to do, ought to, Or
probability words like could do, can do, may do, I will try, I might be able to Or
possibility words like I want to, I love to, I like to, will do

2. Feelings

Once you have Identified the words you use to activities which you tend to drag your feet on, ask yourself what feelings do those words generate in you? What emotions do those feelings generate? What do you do with those emotions? Do you get into a critical mood or a self-pity mode? How is that helping you? Acknowledge your feelings and emotions and what are some of the ways you can best manage that.

3. The Past

On activities that you have procrastinated on, in the past, what changed for you to get it done? How did you motivate yourself? What words did you use? Did you seek guidance or advise from a friend or mentor?

4. The “Why”

Ask yourself what is the purpose of what you are doing? Linking to the why I do what I do helps me to continue my journey towards achieving my goal and vision though I may not be necessarily motivated with each and every aspect of that path. 

Reminding myself of “The Why” keeps me focused and gives me the #clarity and sense of direction.

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5. Manage

We are emotional beings and it is not possible to live without emotions nor suppress them. What we can do is to manage our emotions. Find the why, small rewards that keeps me going, taking a break, asking what is in that activity that triggers the emotions are some of the ways I find it useful to manage my procrastination. Writing down your ideal day and your day as is will help you identify the gaps and help you overcome them. Whose help or what resources do you need to give you that boost to move forward?

6. Mindfulness

We think we multitask. Science has proved that our brains cannot multi task. Two activities that require us to use our executive center of the brain, The Pre-Frontal Cortex, cannot be done at the same time. When we engage in multitasking, we overwhelm our brain and that results in lack of focus and thus in not delivering the desired results.

#Mindfulness is a great way to bring focus back to our task in hand #leadfromwithin

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What strategies have you adopted to get over procrastination?
How do you motivate yourself to do the tasks which are necessary but you may not be excited about?

Let’s connect to continue the conversation.

Co Author of the Book “Energize Your Leadership”  Buy Now

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Five Proven Ways To Manage The Leadership Development Process

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I was at yoga for a Hot Flow class the other day. Flow as the name suggests is a dynamic sequence of yoga asanas (poses) in a heated room. The instructor mentioned that he would like each of us to transition from one pose to another, effortlessly and without strain or stress. And where we felt it was challenging to breathe, he asked us to be in the moment and not get overwhelmed. He asked us to be aware of and acknowledge what we are going through, and instead of giving up, to do what each of us are capable of in that moment. The most important thing was not to let our emotion of feeling flustered or stressed take over us in who we are or seek to be in that moment. Essentially, he asked us to “level up”.

When he said this, I realized that when we are in a flow, be it while writing, speaking, presenting, at a meeting, at work or at the gym, we are focused and there is synchronization of what we are doing, our state of being, our thoughts, feelings, and our breath. We are so involved in that state that we forget everything else and are present in that moment fully. The real test to mindfulness is when we are quite not in that state of flow.

In yoga, when the heat in the room and the pose gets challenging, our breath gets affected and thus the way we are and the way we do the pose in turn gets affected. If you get frustrated and irritated at this moment, you run the risk of injuring yourself.

→What is the connection between yoga in a heated room and life and leadership?←

Life throws many challenging moments in our way and in navigating through those challenges, we feel stuck. We quite often feel we are on a hamster wheel, unable to get off.

Things often go wrong, and yet life goes on. As difficult it may seem, it is up to each of us to pick the threads of learning, march forward and move on.

Your #Attitudes form part of your recurring #thoughts, #behaviors and #feelings.

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 And when the flow seems shaken, it is our attitude that we need to manage.

We go about our daily living largely oblivious to how we are doing things; they have become so familiar that they are transparent. A breakdown is breaking down of our transparency so that what was present and in the background becomes prominent and to the foreground of our attention.

A breakdown can be seen as an interruption to the normal and anticipated flow of life we find ourselves in. And it is an assessment by each of us that something has not happened, or is not happening, or likely to happen, the way we think it should, and that we, and possibly others, will be worse off because of this. Breakdowns can be positive or negative. A positive breakdown is when a concern has unexpectedly been taken care of. A negative breakdown is an assessment that a concern is not being taken care of.

A positive breakdown, for example, could be a promotion and moving to a different location. Whilst it does interrupt the usual set of activities, this interruption results from positive news. A negative breakdown could be something as simple as somebody not delivering on their commitment which causes a breakdown in your ability to deliver something on time.

Quite often when there is a breakdown, we make a judgement or opinion about the breakdown and an assessment about our capacity to deal with the breakdown. Emotions are an integral part of the observation of our breakdown and, as predispositions for action, influence our capacity to deal with the breakdown. Breakdown of flow thus can make us feel stressed, irritated, frustrated, angry, bored, anxious, and at times it may turn into apathy.

⇒In organizations, do leaders experience a break in the flow of things ?

⇒Do organizations experience a break in the flow of their leadership development strategy?

Many executives are thrown at the deep end of things, possibly, deep beyond their depths and they are expected to manage, lead and yet deliver spectacular results. Not every high potential is given the benefit of hiring a coach who can assist them through the transition.

In my 20 years, whilst working in the Corporate World, I have seen many executives who stretched themselves beyond their comfort zone, felt uncomfortable with the not so smooth flow and yet overcame their challenges and succeeded. Yet, I have seen others where the person was unable to navigate through the changes and challenges and achieve the result that was expected of them.

How do you as a leader manage the flow of leadership development in your organization?

 1. Be a sounding board

#Leaders who want to develop others realize that #success doesn’t come from #control and #command nor by telling people what to do.

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They create an environment where they listen, ask relevant questions, encourage, and act as a sounding board. They challenge their team yet know when to give guidance.

2. See the benefit of coaching

The “manager as a coach” is a culture that many organizations are trying to adopt. Whilst there are benefits to this, there are leaders and a cohort within the senior team who are better off getting an external coach to assist them in their leadership development path. Investing in the development path of your high potentials at the right time pays rich dividends. A leader who cares and is concerned will not be indifferent to making this investment when necessary.

3. Take calculated risks

A leader who knows their team well knows when to take risks in terms of the development strategy of their team members. They have the capability to judge the prospective ability of each of their high potentials. They know through a process of communication, clarity and observation when to challenge, when to give assistance and at the same time weigh in the costs and benefits of each of these steps within the organizational needs.

4. Deal with the challenges

A #leader knows how to deal with disappointments, mistakes and a break in the #flow. #leadfromwithin

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They are experienced and where they don’t know they consult, and seek guidance.

5. See the Big picture

Let go are too easy words but one of the most difficult to practice as a behavior.

A #leader is a #learner and a #mentor, they learn from others because they understand that learning never stops.

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 They learn from their mistakes, challenges and on their journey of life. They are able to predict based on their understanding of the business environment and the people who work with them. They know how to be persistent and yet when to let go.

The flow of Leadership Development is not an easy path and yet it is one where a successful leader knows when to take risks, when to ask for help and they adopt a can-do attitude in building the leaders of tomorrow and in their success.

It is human to experience a dynamic interplay between language, emotions and body when you feel disappointed, frustrated, bored, or stuck and when you feel that, ask:

→What is causing the breakdown in the flow?←
→What is boring you and why?←
→How can you spark your interest and get going with renewed energy ?←
→What are the changes you need to make to get back in the flow?←

FOR SPEAKING, ONE-ON-ONE COACHING, WORKSHOP FACILITATION, TRAINING OR GROUP COACHING, PLEASE CONNECT.

BOOK LAUNCH ON APRIL 20, 2015. BUY YOUR COPY ON APRIL 20, 2015.

Humanity In Leadership

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I was in conversation with a group of people who work with an organization which believes in assisting others to achieve breakthrough results.

During one of my conversations with one of the senior leaders of this organization, he asked of me information which didn’t seem relevant to what he and I were discussing. Not only that, the request landed on me in a way that, I considered, not courteous. I considered it impolite because the why was never explained nor how it was relevant to the achievement of the final result . Information was being asked of me without stating the why and no clear-cut information from their end was provided.

A rapport that was established, was shaken and somehow in my own mind, I felt the trust was broken. I decided to set aside my emotion and explained to him why I was uncomfortable giving that information at this stage. That didn’t get far because they decided not to continue the conversation with me. They stated that they had their ways of doing things and did not want to deviate from those set procedures or policies. Now, I knew what the real reason was but it seemed strange that this person stated that they did not want to go against their procedure. When the request was made there was no such background given. It was just asked without giving consideration to the sensitivity of the information that was being requested and that too at such an early stage. To me the humanity was missing, and in that, the trust was broken.

One of my clients was sharing with me about one of the conferences she had attended and how one of the speakers showed his vulnerability and some of the members of audience were critical of him.

When she mentioned the reaction of some people in the audience, I recollected an article on HBR about the dehumanization of leadership. I quote “Trust in business leadership is at historic lows, according to surveys by Edelman and the World Economic Forum. One reason might be what INSEAD professors Gianpiero and Jennifer Petriglieri call the “dehumanization of leadership”— that is, our tendency to think of leaders as either instrumental (pursuing a particular business goal) or heroic (pursuing a unique vision). In short, we want super-machines or super-humans, or both, at the top of our organizations, and many CEOs strive to meet those expectations. They’ve been trained to hide vulnerabilities, to plan and stay the course, to minimize risk, and to be consistent, level-headed, and in complete control at all times. Inevitably, however, they fall short.”

As a #leader, how do you seek to connect with others? #leadfromtheheart #leadfromwithin #humanity #peopleskills

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⇒Do you think being in a position of power automatically gives you the right to demand what you want without being courteous?

⇒What does it take in you to connect with somebody emotionally ?

⇒Do you as a leader forget to be human in order to be in complete control at all times?

What does it mean to be human?

1. Dare to say “I don’t know”

No leader is expected to know all things. Behave in a way that you can learn from others and that you rely on others to get the job done. You are not perfect nor somebody who is indefatigable.

2. Be courteous

Treat others as they would want to be treated.

#Courtesy is the essence of a human connection and #trust gets reiterated when you are #polite and caring.

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 Procedures and policies are important but don’t forget the necessity of human interaction and connection, if you want to make the former successful.feel upset, disappointed and be worried. And it is difficult to be inspired by someone who sticks to negativity and does not instill hope in their team. Being optimistic is key. Are you creating an environment of fear or trust and hope?

3. Be vulnerable and emotional

We are emotional beings and without emotions the relationship seems like a farce. You are able to connect with an individual better when they show their vulnerability because that shows their authentic self. Would you rather learn from someone who thinks they are perfect and can never commit a mistake or from someone who has learnt from mistakes and life’s challenges?

4. Optimistic

It is okay to feel upset, disappointed and be worried. And let that not be a mainstay of your life. t is difficult to be inspired by someone who sticks to negativity and does not instill hope in their team. Being optimistic is key. Are you creating an environment of fear OR trust and hope?

5. Command v/s Request

If you choose to ask somebody to deliver something, make sure it is a request and the person knows why that request is being made of them. No matter who you are, you have no right to demand information or make somebody feel threatened and insecure.

We live in a technologically advanced age and as humans, it is impossible to connect and establish trust, if you behave like a robot. Relationships are formed and happen when the connection with another person happens from the heart and you don’t give in to judgment or assumptions.

How are you connecting with people ?

Are you being #human in the way you #behave and interact with others? #peopleskills #leadership

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For speaking, on-on-one coaching, workshops, facilitation, training, let’s connect.

Oh No! Not Another Meeting

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I can’t believe you will be there at the meeting. This was a remark made by one of my colleagues. This meeting has an agenda and we always get something done and achieve what we set out for. I don’t have any issues attending these kind of fruitful meetings was my response to him.

Couple of weeks back, I received an email asking a group of us of our availability during a particular week. I read that email and was confused. First of all there was no clear agenda or plan as to what we need each one’s expertise for. What is each one’s interest or what are each of us good at and how can this be used to get the best of what needs to be achieved during the end of that week for which this email was sent out. Meetings were held before this as to what we need to do and other than something needs to be done, nothing concrete materialized.

Let’s schedule a meeting has become the main stay of most of the corporate world, the nonprofit world and basically part of our day-to-day life. Let’s discuss on Skype, G+, conference call or face to face monthly morning meeting, weekly morning meeting or daily meeting. No matter if Ideas need to be discussed or progress needs to be checked on, let’s call a meeting.

Whilst there is nothing wrong with scheduling a meeting, regularly or not, it may not be the right solution and even in instances, where, it is the best answer, the meeting needs to be structured and held in such a way, that the end goal is achieved and each participant in the meeting feels that their time was well utilized.

People in leadership positions (not necessarily all of them behave like leaders) are more often than not responsible for calling for meetings and most of the time these meetings becomes a tool in their hands to justify their presence. It is like a tick in the box with very little or no meaningful engagement from the participants.

Questions that leaders can ask themselves is

1. What is the purpose of the meeting ?

Do I really need this meeting? Is it to discuss ideas, monitor progress and is there a necessity to do that ? Am I calling for a meeting because it has been done so for the past 10 years?

Are you relying heavily on face to face meetings rather than reading and analyzing reports and data available to you ?

Do you tend to have the meetings to solicit input from others but tend to either ignore their inputs or have a tough time making decisions?

2. Do you have a clear road map to achieve the purpose?

Once you have determined that there is a concrete purpose to the meeting, set a road map as to how you will achieve it.

Are you going to be dominant and self-oriented and give little or no chance to others to contribute?

How are you going to get others to communicate and contribute?

We live in the world of communication and to keep the flow of communication going, your attitude, your mindset and what you say and how you say are all equally important.

3. What kind of a leader or person are you ?

Check your style by performing an assessment so that you are aware or increase your awareness and at the same time get others perspectives.

⇒Are you

Conservative/Technical/Innovative in terms of your approach to problems and solutions. How is this affecting your daily management of your day and the way you communicate with others.

⇒How are you in

Structuring/Delegation/Communication when it comes to your team and defining expectations.

Where do you need to #letgo to get the best from your team? #communication #peopleskills

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⇒Are you a thinker or a doer and how do you balance it out in your day-to-day interactions – Strategic v/s Tactical.

⇒What is your style – relationship centered or task centered or are you balanced about the two in seeking to achieve your vision. How are you using your style to communicate with others and encourage them?

Meetings can be interesting if there is a set goal, interesting ways to get to the goal and there is clear communication flow.

How can you make your #meetings #interesting, #productive and #effective for yourself and others?

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 Do you want people to attend your meetings because they have to and not feel like? Do you want the participants in your meeting giving their attention to their mobile or achieving the purpose of the meeting?

When do you enjoy meetings and why? Can you bring some of that in the meetings you conduct?

Let’s connect for workshops, group coaching, facilitation, one-on-one coaching. 

Are You Ready To Unplug, Detach, Step Away from FOMO and Connect?

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Last Wednesday, I was speaking at the British Chamber of Commerce. The event was held at the British Consulate and for security reasons, they don’t allow any electronic devices during the event. For all those entering as visitors to the building, you are required to surrender all electronic equipment at the security. In fact, as a speaker you appreciate this because you get the undivided attention and engagement of the audience. It so happened, I forgot my iPhone on that day and realized only when I arrived at the venue. I didn’t allow that to bother me, I instead felt relieved that I didn’t have to bother giving my phone and worry about its safety since their locker will hold old models of iPhones or Samsung not the iPad, or the iPhone 6 or 6 plus or the latest Samsung 6 or a laptop.

The event ran for 90 minutes and after that I had to meet a colleague and friend of mine to discuss a workshop that we were going to deliver together. I rely on my phone to do almost 95% of my work from notes, reminders, calendars, documents, blog, and emails to other basic things that a phone is used for.

In discussions with her, I was missing my phone because I could not refer to the notes I had made nor was I able to jot down the quick discussion points.

At that time, I thought to myself … Surely I can rely on my memory to discuss the relevant points and I can jot down important points if necessary on a piece of paper.

Not having my phone initially made me feel handicapped and on the return to my office by bus, I definitely missed my phone, because I read books from my iPhone.

But once I told myself, let me be in this moment, I realized that I can live without it and the world is not coming to an end.

How many of us are victims of our mobile device? Do we constantly check our mobile and use that as an excuse to not connect with people who are in front of us?

In meetings, just because it is boring how many times have you picked up your mobile and tapped away messages on it, as if your response can’t wait?

As a leader, are you using your mobile

→as a way of pretending to be busy?
→with the fear of missing out?
→because you are bored
→to be constantly in the midst of things
→to be hands on
→to feel wanted

And if you are doing this, are you missing out from being a genuine leader that involves these key traits?

1. To appreciate

We appreciate you. A simple yet powerful morale booster. This statement speaks directly to the person or members of your team. This combined with evidence to support why they are being appreciated is even better.

2. You Matter

As human beings, we like attention irrespective of whether you are an extrovert or introvert. Each one of us like to be made to feel that we matter.

3. How can I help you ?

Instead of telling someone in your team, something needs to be done and not bothering to ask why they were not able to get to their goal, try something different – let’s work on achieving this and how can I help you?

4. Thank you

Silent #gratitude is as good as no gratitude. #appreciation #peopleskills #littlethingsthatmatter

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A genuine #thankyou goes a long way in connecting with others and making them feel #appreciated.

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5. To Show Up

Are you showing up fully for yourself and for the team you lead? If you are not mindful and present as a leader, it is unlikely you will be an inspiration to others.

6. To Listen

#Listen because that is the only way you’ll #understand and #empathize

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Your observation and listening skills will enable you to connect in a more meaningful way to your team members. 

The best #gift you can give someone is your #time and your undivided #attention.

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7. To Communicate and Connect

Are you being an impactful communicator no matter the medium? Do you make an effort to connect and know those in your team and around you? Be there for others through adversities and good times.

Connect with your team and people who matter. Don’t forget to acknowledge somebody who is in front of you because you are busy with your mobile.

There is a time and place for everything. Use it appropriately. #leadfromwithin #respect #peopleskills #courtesy

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Questions to Reflect

⇒What are some of the ways you can connect with people?
⇒How do you engage with your team members?
⇒How do you lead by example?
⇒What are some of the values you are building in your organization?

For one-on-one coaching, workshops, training, group coaching and/or speaking, let’s connect.

How To Control Your Mind?

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I had to wake up at 4:30 am, on Wednesday, for an early morning call, and I was dreading it on Tuesday. I don’t sleep until late and thus waking up that early in the morning is not my cup of tea. I was working on some deadlines on Tuesday and throughout the evening, I was frustrated that these on-line webinars almost always suited the U.S. time zone, despite international participation.

My mind was brooding on this so much, that I became stressed. This continued on for probably a little over 2 hours. I suddenly realized that I was unable to focus my attention on what I was doing. and I hadn’t done much. I had to snap out of this.

The timing of the early morning call was not something I could choose. What I can choose is my state of mind and how I appear at this moment of time and also at the webinar. I also reminded myself that I had on several occasions delivered training till 10:30 pm and taken a red-eye flight thereafter to deliver another training at 9 am, the following day, without a wink of sleep.

I made myself a cup of coffee and settled back into what had to be done.

I woke up this morning and I was fully present and had no issues concentrating and being an active participant.

Our state of #mind dictates who we are at any moment in #time. #EI #stress #health #leadfromwithin

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As a leader,

→How do you show up when things happen against your will or expectation?

→How do you react when you are feeling overwhelmed at the number of things that need to be done?

→What are some of the things you consciously let go of to keep yourself at peace and appear calm in front of your team?

→We are emotional beings and the strongest of us go through moments of overwhelm, frustration, and stress. Do you apply the brakes before it is too late to consciously get out of the agitated state of mind leading to stress and frustration?

What are some of the ways to control our mind and be present

1. Be aware

Self-awareness is the first step. You consciously recognize you are in that agitated state of mind. Before your mind takes control of you, take a step to come back into the present. Be aware of your thoughts and feelings and what they are doing to you and your actions.

2. How strong are you?

Encourage yourself by reflecting on how well you did in a similar circumstance. How did you get over the perceived challenge or your state of mind. 

Visualize #positive images to generate positive feelings and calm your thoughts. #leadfromwithin

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3. Acknowledge

Never ignore your emotions. Be aware, acknowledge and find ways to get over it. For me, taking a walk, engaging in meaningful conversations (with myself or others) to foster understanding or even venting out to a friend or my family helps. Take steps to generate optimism.

4. What can you do?

Everything that happens to us or with us is not within our control. However, the way we show up is within our control. EI can be achieved by any of the above methods and by deep breathing. Deep breathing is difficult when your mind is agitated and it takes a conscious effort on your part to do so. Once you start that deep breathing, you essentially are able to control your Amygdala hijack and thus think rationally.

I have four more Wednesdays when my day will start as early as 3:30 am and I have told myself no matter how my previous day is, I will be present and enjoy the two-hour session and not stress about it before.

How are you controlling your mind?
What are some of the ways you try to calm your mind in moments of overwhelm and stress?

Until, we control our mind that which is within our self, our #perception of our external world will merely be a #reflection of it.

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A key question you can ask of yourself is, why am I doing what I am doing ?

For one-on-one coaching, speaking, training and/or workshops let’s connect.

The Power Of Asking The Right Type Of Questions

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I’m often asked as to why I took to coaching and leadership training and development. My personal growth and development has come most, when I have been asked the right challenging questions by others and of myself. During the 20 years of my Corporate life, I have seen others in my team grow and develop when the right questions have been asked of them.

Questioning is undoubtedly a powerful leadership tool and one of the reasons I took to coaching. I love connecting with people, inspiring them to do their best, and helping them to grow. Coaching enables me to do that and also challenge my clients to come up with the answers, they require, on their own and in the process assist them to get to where they want to be.

Questioning is a valuable life tool and it is imperative to ask the right questions. Ask questions that enable people to trust you, establish a rapport, anticipate changes, and facilitate their growth and development and of their organizations.

Asking open-ended questions is important and more important is how you ask these questions. Questions asked in the wrong way can shut a person down and can also break the trust and relationship.

Questions with a negative tone or focus aren’t going to give you desired results. 

#Positivity and appreciative enquiry facilitates to establish #rapport and build #trust.

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The five W’s ,What, Why, When, Why, Who are powerful with the right tone, words and #language. #peopleskills

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What are the questions to avoid? What are the right type of questions to ask?

1. Who is responsible for this ? Or Whose fault is this?

This line of questioning sets a negative tone to the conversation and seems to indicate that you want to blame someone. It puts your audience in a defensive mode.

A leader is one who takes a little more shame of the blame and a little less than his share of credit.

A better line of questioning to consider is how can we work together to get to our goal or desired results? With the right amount of trust and rapport established, this will help you identify any snags in the process and help you identify and overcome any deficiencies or weaknesses.

2. What is the issue or problem?

And questions along the same line tends to focus on defects and weakness instead of on ways to move forward. As human beings, we need no help in being negative. Questions which focuses on problems are negative and puts your audience on the wrong foot.

What are we doing well? What have we done well so far? What steps do we need to take to improve ourselves ? How can we do better? These type of questions focuses on the other person’s strengths instead of on what went wrong.

3. Have you tried this way? Or how about doing it this way?

These are questions which tends to convey a sense of control from the person asking them. Our brains, according to a lot of studies done by neuroscientists perceive loss of autonomy as a threat and thus creates an air of distrust and negativity.

What do you think ? Or what do you propose? Are there better ways to move forward to desired results.

4. Why not ? Or why haven’t you thought of something similar ? Or why do you think it will work this time

These questions have a condescending tone to it and almost seems to suggest that the other way is better or that you are wrong. It indicates a sense of distrust in your team.

A better style of question to motivate and engage people is

How can we do it better this time? What are some of the ways we can try this time to get the desired results? If we tried the same method this time, how do you think the outcome would be different?

No matter the type of question, the tone with which these questions are asked needs to be positive and one that suggests way forward instead of demotivating and finger-pointing.

Rhetorical questions are great but cannot be used in all circumstances. Questions with a Why are great and you need to be sensitive to the culture, the tone and the situation. What or how are better ways to ask the same question starting with a Why?

Questions can be asked of others and of yourself to move forward, to reflect, to overcome fears and overall for the growth and development.

I have seen clients make the necessary shifts to get the results that they seek and asking the right questions has been a significant contributor to this.

How have you used questions in your life?
What type of questions have helped you grow ?

5 Creative Ways To “Just Do It”

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“There is no way I can do this.”

“I admire you for being so courageous, I doubt if I ever can be like you”.

How many times have you uttered those words out loud or had thoughts similar to those? More importantly, how many times have these inner thoughts been so loud that they have stopped you from pursuing creative thinking or coming up with fresh ideas?

All of us have these little voices or the inner gremlin sitting on our shoulder, at various intensities at various points of time in our lives telling us we’re not good enough or we don’t deserve what we have got or we are not capable.

These voices of self-doubt or inner critique stop you in your pursuit of excellence and from your growth and development.

How do you face your inner gremlin and tell her or him to shut up ?

How do you unplug your fears and “Just Do It”?

1. Clarity

Clarity of purpose is a great guide to achieving what you set out to do so. That inner guide reminds you of your purpose and why you do what you do. Do you have clarity on your purpose ?

2. Listen

When the little voice is a deal stopper, listen up. Listen to what it is telling you. Write it down and don’t dwell on it at that moment. Walk away. Come back and read it.

3. What is the worst that can happen ?

When you read what you have written, evaluate objectively what is the worst case scenario ? Is there any truth in your fear ? What happened when you faced a similar fear last time ? How did you get over it ? What did you do well ? What lessons did you learn?

4. Truth

Once you have identified the worst case scenario and there is some credence to your fear, ask how can you better from the worst case scenario ? What do you need to do to achieve the desired results and improve from the worst case scenario?

5.Self-Confidence

To enhance your self-confidence, you need to stop worrying and ask yourself how much is the price you are willing to pay for worrying and is it worth it? Self-confidence is built from self-acceptance and by identifying your strengths and achievements in the past. How did you overcome your last challenge?

Get support from a coach or a mentor to assist you in where you want to be.

Your fear and self-doubt is the truth, if you give power to it.

In your pursuit of #excellence and #quality, let go of your fears and #JustDOIt. #leadfromwithin

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Believe in yourself and work towards improving yourself on a daily basis. #leadfromwithin #self-confidence #fears

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How are you breaking from your fears and doubts and setting yourself on the path to success?

For one-on-one coaching, speaking, training and/or group workshops, let’s connect.

Top 10 Routines to Adopt and Lead By Example

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Do you engage in physical activity ?

Do you go running or go to the gym or yoga on a daily basis ?

Do you plan your day and make time for the things you want to do ?

What if I told you not to take a shower on a daily basis ?

These were the questions that the lady, who was doing an orientation on Mindfulness, fired off to her audience and I was one of them.

She remarked that “If you can make time to clean up physically and look good, you also need to make time to do a mental clean up on a daily basis!”

Get into a routine and that is a matter of consciously setting time for it and for that you intentionally need to believe it as a priority. Routines, often perceived as boring and dull is a necessary part of our lives. You don’t need to think of routine as boring especially if it is something that helps you be who you are. You need to leave enough scope to be flexible and adaptable to unplanned things.

Following a routine is a matter of discipline. I’m a juvenile diabetic and have followed one routine, among other routines, diligently to date in my life. I inject insulin injections three times daily and am disciplined about my diet and health, from the age of eight.

There are many routines that each of us follow. However, no matter who you are, there are some routines which need to be adopted and maintained along the journey of life.

As a leader and as a person who wants to continuously grow and step out of your comfort zone, you need to think about adopting the following routines

1. Listen

No genuine connection happens without listening. There is not a moment in your life where you can stop listening. Listen because it engages you as a leader and as an empathetic human. Listen to understand and not necessarily listen to respond every time.

2. Reflect

To reflect is to give credit to yourself on what you did well, what you could do better or differently and what you could stop doing. Reflection can be in silence or by journaling. Reflection can be on your day, the way you were, your behaviors and what you did.

3. Hope

Be an #optimist, instill #hope and provide encouragement to all those around you or whose lives you touch.

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 A realistic optimist is inspiring and it is a great trait to cultivate and have.

4. Reading

Read, learn, unlearn and discover. 

#Reading enables you to #discover, gain #knowledge and expand your thoughts and grow.

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5. Influence

The skill to influence, convince and persuade people to a common cause or vision, is one that never stops being useful. It is one characteristic that each of us can continue to develop, no matter how good you are at it already.

6. Resourceful

This is one routine that is not paid particular attention to. In this dynamic world that we live in, resourcefulness helps you to step out of your comfort zone and find solutions to the challenges.

7. Exercise

Exercise helps you to be energetic, release stress and get the creative juices flowing and be mentally alert. Don’t we all want that on a daily basis?

8. Mindfulness

The importance of mindfulness cannot be underestimated. There is overwhelming research and scientific data proving the benefits of mindfulness. A routine that I am cultivating as part of my life from now, slowly but surely.

9. Empathy

Empathy allows you to be kind, to be committed to your word, to not take others’ feelings for granted, to be engaged and committed to your work and overall understand your team and those around you better.

10. Emotional Intelligence

We are emotional beings and to cultivate a routine to be aware of your emotions, understand what they are telling you and realize how your emotions affect people around you is a lifelong commitment. EI encompasses many other routines mentioned above and helps you to be empathetic, listen and connect with people.

Sticking to some routines is beneficial and not boring. The 10 routines listed are not exhaustive.  Would you like to add some? Please do so in the comments section.

⇒Which of these routines are you going to make it part of your day and yet make it interesting?
⇒What routines do you need to let go off to make space for the top 10 above ?

For training, group coaching, one-on-one coaching, speaking and workshops let’s connect

10 Reasons To Be Thankful For

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It is so easy to complain and get into the negative mindset. Over the weekend, I participated in @Kate Nasser weekly people skills chat and the topic this week was “Ending Toxic Attitudes, Interactions, Relationships.”

During the chat there were some interesting insights. Indeed, it is so easy to get into the vicious cycle of negativity and thereafter it is a matter of spiraling down a negative and toxic path.

Negativity may be triggered by someone’s behavior failing to meet rational, logic and emotion, reality is way different from your expectations, your mindset and perspective.

Being #Thankful is one way to break the vicious cycle of negativity and consciously tell yourself to overcome stress.

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Yes, when you are going through that emotion, you may feel that it is easier said than done “to be thankful”. Yet, it takes a conscious mindset to remind yourself of what you can be thankful for, even in that adverse situation. Try it and experience what happens …..

Be Thankful for

→1. Things that went well (there are several things that go well even on the worst day. You need to remind yourself of those)
→2. Things you did well
→3. Things that failed and the lessons you learnt
→4. Things you didn’t do too well and what you can do differently next time
→5. Who you are. If you are not pleased with the way you are now, you will not be able to make progress and live life fully.
→6. Things you couldn’t do and what did those teach you. Remind yourself of those times you bounced back and showed your resilience.
→7. Moments when you felt you could have done better and the lessons learnt
→8. What you learnt from the loss of someone or something. Loss of someone near and dear is painful and the best way to remember that person is to cherish the good memories. How can you value your time with people who still live in this world?
→9. Achieving what you set out to achieve either fully or partially.
→10. You. You are enough and the day has gone by. There is always more and there will hopefully be another day to explore new experiences.

#Gratitude has a calming effect on your mind and sends a #positive signal to the brain. #leadfromwithin #life

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It helps your executive center to continue to work in a rational way. We are emotional beings and mindfulness helps to keep our brain calm.

How are you breaking away from falling prey to a toxic mindset?

How do you encourage others to be positive ?

For one-on-one coaching, speaking, training, workshops let’s connect