Little Things That Matter

Learn From The Past, Live The Present and Have An Open Mind to Face Tomorrow

How Do You “LET GO”

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Life is the best teacher, a friend, a soul mate. She teaches you what none others can teach and it is in living life through the challenges she throws at us is what makes life.

There are things in life you can’t hold on for ever and life isn’t for ever either. Life from the day you are born, moment by moment, tells you to let go. Nothing lasts forever, you are at this stage in your life because you have let go of your childhood, your youth, some of your age-old habits and idiosyncrasies. Through the years of your life to date, you may have different ways of doing things, you may have changed your job, your career or possibly even some of your relationships that were not working for you.

In each of the transitions in life be it natural, by accident or by choice, you have been able to move forward because you have let go of something. Yet, there are modes in your lives where you continue to grip on some things that you expect to last forever. You refuse to Let Go.

This could apply to your relationships, projects that you have put your heart and soul and yet don’t see the desired results, business venture that you are passionate about but ROI tells you otherwise, your behavior at work or socially, and may be aspects of your overall being.

What is the emotion you undergo when you refuse to let go?

  • Fear of the unknown
  • uncertainty
  • perspective of failure in your mind
  • discomfort
  • denial to see the benefits
  • negativity
  • love the perceived sense of control

Destiny isn’t always good and be it in some paths chosen in relationships or with respect to our professional life, you have to let go and consider the people and the opportunities in those paths as lessons learnt for better things in future. You may say easier said than done.

♠Letting Go is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future.♠

I’ve found that the more I cling to outcomes and things, the more I create an anchor that drains my energy and in turn I discourage myself.

So how can you help yourself Let Go?

1. Internal conversations – each of us have a conversation that we have with ourselves. This could be self talk or negative talk. Your thoughts control your feelings and these feelings translates into your internal conversations. Your brain drives your behavior from your internal conversations.

♣What are you telling yourself when you hold back from letting go ?

2. Labeling Emotion – each time you struggle with the idea of letting go, stop to reflect. Do you understand your emotions and beliefs? Why do you think that way? Try to label the emotion (could be fear, anxiety, uncertainty, failure) associated with the struggle of letting go – this helps to calm your brain and focus on action forward.

♣Do you tend to dwell on what used to be that is distracting you from taking the necessary action to move you forward?
♣Do you tend to complain and take no action to see what can be done differently to achieve desired outcomes?

Our brains are geared to rewards and thus expecting desired outcomes from our efforts is but natural. However, consuming yourself with the negative outcome only results in frustration and negative emotions. Instead, when something doesn’t go as per your expectations, train your mind to view this circumstance as a chance to learn something you didn’t know. Every experience teaches you something and it a matter of consciously looking at it from a perspective that helps you to move forward.

♣Learning to understand your emotions, reflection on your actions and the experience sets the path for refocusing your energy and “letting go” less painful.

3. Reframe – Do you reflect and once you reflect do you reframe the situation by finding out what’s really going on?

Our brains are constantly on the lookout to move towards what it perceives as a reward and away from what it perceives as a threat. And is five times more likely to perceive something unknown as a threat than a reward. This possibly explains many disquieting parts of our life. Certainty concerns being in the know. Being able to predict gives us that feeling of control and certainty. Without prediction our brain needs to use a lot more energy intensive PFC. In today’s fast paced global world, it is becoming more difficult to anticipate what’s next. To fuel this uncertainty is our own beliefs and biases as to how we perceive a situation. All this makes letting go more difficult.

♣Reframing a situation helps you to manage your beliefs, your perception and your feelings. It helps you to look at situations from a different context and not narrow yourself to your own bias.♣

4. Criticism – do you criticize yourself and everyone else, every time something doesn’t go as per your plan. Does this stop you from letting go of unfair expectations of yourself and others ? Life is a roller coaster and not perfect. Letting go eases your agony that you put yourself through by engaging in “blame game” and “know it all”. When you catch yourself thinking and behaving in a manner that signifies that you know everything and have little tolerance to any new ideas or methods, it is time to stop and reflect.

♣How flexible are you to expand your mind and go out of your comfort zone?

5. Control Freak – one of the common hurdles to letting go. Each of us are unique and have our contribution to make. We can control out behavior, our choices but how others act or behave is outside our control. Positive change occurs when you decide to let go of control over everything in your life and work.

Imagine you are on your way to an appointment at 3 pm. You leave well ahead of time. However you get caught in a nasty traffic jam. You try to change lanes, honk, curse, get agitated and yet nothing changes. Each time you succeed at changing lanes, your frustration increases because you realize that the new lane is no better. There are many situations similar to this which are beyond your control in your day-to-day life. You cannot have everything you want despite your efforts to make it a success. Let go or else you get caught in a negative vicious cycle.

6. Negativity – negativity breeds negativity and saps your energy. Your surroundings in terms of the people you are with matters to your overall being. There are some people in this world who are full of negative energy and drain you. There are others who provide soul food and are full of positivity and energy. Be with people who support you, challenge you but help you grow. Let go of relationships that jeopardize your being and don’t accept you for what you are.

♣What would you experience if you surround yourself with people who believe in you and help you get better in what you do? 

♣What would it be like if you spend more time with people who have positive vibes and make you feel valued?

Letting go is difficult when we allow ourselves to be overly attached to outcomes, when we have given our heart and soul to some relationships. My own journey of having to let go of things and relationships which weren’t working for me hasn’t been easy. What has helped me in the journey of life is to reflect, reframe and think about the way forward and believe in myself. Gearing my brain towards the rewards associated with the new path helps ease the pain that I associate with letting go.

I’ve learnt and am still learning to be willing to open up to possibility, learn new ways, grow in effectiveness by LETTING GO.

→If you “Let Go,” it does not mean you are giving up but you make a choice to take a different path to your ultimate vision.←

How do you Let Go?

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Does Your Behavior Reflect Who You Are or Desire To Be?

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→ How often are you inspired by a person whom you meet or read or hear about? → What is it about them that makes you listen or to follow what they are doing or learn a lesson or two from them?

A friend of mine, Carole called me last week saying she wanted to meet me. Carole is one of the most cheerful person I know and on that call she sounded hassled, frustrated and dejected.

I know she had suffered a huge financial loss recently having trusted someone she thought was a friend. The trust that she had placed on this person was misused, mishandled and every aspect of her belief and friendship was broken. I had learnt from her that she was making efforts to get her money back and the process had been none too easy.

When I met her that day, she shared with me her experience with a person whom she had met with regard to getting her money back.

This person whom she met is wealthy, well-connected and this is a known fact among most people in the city we live. Now you would think, this person would have some class and it is not necessary for him to be boastful about his wealth, his connections, number of times he has had an expensive dinner and how influential he is.

However, listening to her narrate the details of the meeting with this person, I started wondering

♦ If this person knew what self-worth was?
♦ Did he feel comfortable in his own skin?
♦ Why did he not allow his act to prove who he was?
♦Did he think that the only way to impress was to rant about his wealth and his connections?
♦ What did success mean to him?
♦ Why the desperation to prove who he is?

His behavior indicated a great sense of insecurity.

I place my value in the character of a person in the way they act and behave and not on the display of their wealth, connections and their titles. I realized why my friend sounded so exasperated when she called on me.

♠ Key Reflections ♠

→ Do you let your actions impress or your talk?
→ Have you paid attention to your talk to listen ratio ?
→ Is it possible for you to win someone’s heart by a smile, by being there to listen and being authentic and human
→ Do you spare a moment to think about moments when you were in a vulnerable position and had self doubts? What did you want amidst those challenges?

Interestingly, he had mentioned to my friend that he was doing this in the interest of goodwill. However, listening to my friend narrate the conversation with this gentleman, I didn’t see any such indications in his behavior.

I wonder if people like him ever ask of their behavior

→ Am I being true to myself?
→ Why do I do what I do?
→ Is inflating my ego more important than being human?

Leadership is not about titles or display of wealth or your power and control. People come and go, titles and other add-ons are short-lived. However, a person is remembered for their character and the way they choose to behave. Our test of character is in the most vulnerable moments and the choice is entirely ours to make. Awareness is an important ingredient to act in character. Awareness not only about self but others and empathizing with the situation is imperative in any form of communication.

♣ Key Reflective Question ♣

How would you want to be remembered ? Someone who just boasted about their connections, titles, and their power or someone who inspired others, helped people along the way, get alongside them because you cared.

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The Human Touch to Leadership

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In today’s day and age we are bombarded by more stimuli than ever before. This stimuli can be from various sources like social media, emails, chats, demands from the real world and from every possible source. Amidst this stimuli, we are expected to be thoughtful and yet give responses in nano seconds or a fraction thereof. In this environment of keeping up to demands, not feeling left out or as if we missed the boat, we create feelings of vacuum and stress within ourselves and amongst others.

Now let’s take the situation of Emily who is either looking to diversify her business or seeking to change her job or starting up a new business venture. She is excited, enthusiastic, is eager to make connections and engages with different people from various walks of life. She meets various types of personalities in this journey.

Who are you among these personalities?

  1. You are candid and give a straight answer “my apologies, but I don’t see any common synergies here for the moment. I am unable to help you with your venture.”
  2. You enquire about what the person does, what made them change careers, what was the key motivation to start the new business venture?. You meet this person at regular intervals and keep the conversation going. This person keeps giving you more and more information on what they have done, what are their plans for future growth. You keep the hope alive in this person but at no point in time have you honored your word in giving this person an opportunity.
  3. You meet Emily once and show interest in what she has to offer or in her business venture and agree with her that you and she should keep the conversation going. You have seen her email, her phone messages but have not responded to her. You are overwhelmed with many commitments in the form of emails, meetings, chats, new business ventures. You keep making new promises and yet have not had the courtesy to acknowledge the emails or the messages.
  4. You see a synergy but don’t have an immediate offer to make. You meet this person and have several conversations over a period of time. You then communicate either in the affirmative or negative.

Do any of these personalities sound familiar to you ?

What do you think Emily is going through when she meets you either in 2 or 3, above. Possibly a feeling of rejection, break of trust, impatience, failing to see how you can be a good leader. Why? Research on Brain Science reveals that, The fear circuit is the most developed and fastest neuronal circuit we can activate both consciously and unconsciously in another person by our actions, words, behavior, body language and other forms of communication or non communication. Once these neurons in the brain are activated, we have lost the goodwill for the other person. As a leader, is this the impression you want to leave with everyone who approaches or meets you ?

What is a key leadership skill : The Human Touch Makes A Difference

1. People are an essential part of your life – no matter who the person is, how you treat people makes a difference. Do you choose to vary your attitude depending on the title and position of the person?  Do you realize that there is a person behind that email or chat? Why not make a simple acknowledgement of “Thank you, seen it, will respond in three days”. Give a time frame that you are able to live up to. If you are unclear about something, why not ask questions? Or if you think you over committed, recognize that mistake and acknowledge it. Silence is not the response expected of a leader.

2. Walking your talk – do you act on your words or just spin the wheel ? Connections can be made only if you engage and treat people with respect and courtesy.  People are the lifeblood of your business. Your word is your personal brand. In what particular ways are you results-oriented in your day-to-day actions?

3. Creating trust and rapport – relationships are built on trust and honesty. By giving false hope to someone you discredit yourself. Would you like to be treated the same way?  How do you go about your relationships?  You can grow and develop your relationships and business only if you create trust and collaborate and communicate. Creating and maintaining long-lasting relationships is not a one way street.

You may have the best of intentions but if your actions are not consistent with your word or intention, you create an environment of dissatisfaction and misunderstanding. As a leader you need to create and live transparency and collaborate with people within and outside your own organization.

Summary:

Do you know what you want ? 

How do you strike the right balance among your various commitments to which you have given your word to? 

How do you deal with people who you perceive to be more successful than you are?

How do you deal with people who are in need?

What does success mean to you ?

What are your main sources of creative input or ideas from others?

How do you add the human touch?

Related References : Brain Blog

Top 5 Leadership Lessons From YOGA

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Lalita Raman

 

Are you wondering what yoga has to do with leadership?

I have done yoga for almost 10 years and I still continue to learn not only the yoga poses but what yoga can teach about myself, life and leadership. When I started yoga 10 years back, it was purely as an exercise and to improve my flexibility. Most of the yoga instructors will tell you that yoga is a connection between mind, body and soul and the common link is through your breath. I used to hear this but never quite understood the real essence.
My journey with yoga in the first two-three years, was one of hate and love. However, where I stand today with yoga is one of love, where I have learnt to overcome some of my frustrations of inflexibility. This is where yoga is like leadership, in that a leader doesn’t take credit only when the going is good but stands through tough times and journeys through them.

For the full post please click on the LINK

What Can You Learn About Leadership From Children?

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I was staying with my sister when I was visiting my family last week. One of her neighbors has two girls aged 5 and 7, Rita and Meeta. These two girls are the most adorable children I have ever met. They spend their entire evening at my sister’s house, after she and her husband get back home.  One of the evenings, we were chatting and having fun with the kids when the younger girl, Rita whispers something in her sister, Meeta’s, ear and tells her don’t share. “Keep it a secret, ok promise.” She then looks at me from the corner of her eye with an abashed look. By then, Meeta, however reveals her secret. The secret being that Rita has a friend in school who loves her. Rita looks at us sheepishly and says he keeps saying I love you. But I don’t.  So my sister asks her, so why don’t you tell him what you feel? Oh, but I have only over heard and he hasn’t told me directly. When he tells me directly, I’ll let him know. My sister asks her how would she tell him, and I was surprised with her response. She said, “I love my parents and my sister, and as of now that’s it.”

Mind you, this is a girl who is barely 5 years old.

What lessons of leadership can we learn from children?

  1.  Clarity – Rita was very clear in communicating about her experience, what love meant to her and why this boy’s behavior made her uncomfortable. Even at that age she was crystal clear and did not mince her words.  She was confused and her mind was possibly wrestling with what she should do. She in her childlike innocence revealed her secret to her sister. Leaders often know what is needed but many times get lost in their mental chatter. Often the solution lies in mindfulness and following the heart and not laboring the mind. The time to act is not when you are confused.
  2. Emotional Intelligence – Rita had overheard this remark but she had the EQ not to react to that boy, because that comment was not yet made directly to her. She had the emotional awareness to not react immediately but prepare herself if and when that happens. As leaders, of utmost importance, is striking the right balance between IQ and EQ. Many times the team may consist of people who may not have understood what is required of them or may be preoccupied with some other thoughts. A leader will do well to recognize such situations and not publicly humiliate team members who err or consistently seem preoccupied.  Leaders can navigate through challenging times if they have a high EQ. Being self-aware and empathetic is critical.
  3. Discuss and Ask for Help – Rita was feeling embarrassed to discuss what was troubling her in front of my sister and I, but my gut feel is that she told Meeta realizing that she would tell us. Rita did that because she wanted to discuss and see what we had to tell her. As leaders, you can’t be expected to know everything. If you are not sure of something, ask, discuss and clarify. No one can fly solo all the time. It is better to ask for support rather than make a mistake and lose the trust of your team members.

How many times have you been in awe at the questions that children ask ?

Have the questions that a child asks made you reflect?

What have you learned from observing children?

Children are always curious, they never stop asking questions. They are on a never-ending quest to learn, to share, to try out new things. They follow their heart and lead from within though they may be too young to realize this.

 Don’t we as adults and leaders need to learn a thing or two from children?

 

Does Hope Matter At The Face of Destiny?

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How many times have you heard people say , “You Control Your Destiny” and not vice versa.

How do you progress in life?

How do you achieve what you are passionate about ?

How do you translate your vision into action ?

How do you on a day-to-day basis get to where you want to be ?

Each of us have our dreams, our passions, our purpose in life which drives us and makes us come alive ?

Without putting an effort our dreams would never get fulfilled, if we leave everything to destiny.

Yet Destiny plays an imperative role in our journey of life, one we can’t change.

Do I believe in destiny?

Recent events in my life have convinced me that we can’t change our destiny. Two of my close family members are facing destiny, as I type this.

My Father in law is battling with his life for the past two months in the ICU and my mother’s health seems to be on a continuous downtrend.  Doctors and family members are doing everything they can. Prayers, medications, enquiries with various experts continue but yet I and others in our family feel helpless.  It feels that Destiny is shaping their life and we are watching helplessly.

Destiny after all controls when we die, and no matter what, none of us can control it. Yes we can control how we live but if we are destined to die in a particular way there is no changing that.  When you go through such events in your life it makes you wonder do we have control over what finally dictates our fate?

My mom has always been very careful with the way she has lived her life. She has always been kind, thankful, and helpful. Though she came from a conservative family, she has always been bold and empowered herself in her journey of life. She has always been meticulous, disciplined and a human being from whom I have learnt a lot. Yet where she stands today, she suffers at the hands of destiny.

I often question as to why her ? Doesn’t the balance sheet of her life need to tally in that when all she has done is good, why make her suffer?

Old age has its own share of miseries some of which may be caused by the way we have lived our younger years and yet others beyond our control.  You may say why worry about things beyond your control. Yes, but when you see your mom suffer and you aren’t able to do anything, you feel helpless and defeated.

Have I given up hope? No, hope is what is taking me through from day-to-day. My mind is restless and the flight from Hope to hope through each moment is what carries me through.  Hope is the power of being cheerful in circumstances which we know to be desperate. –G.K. Chesterton

Extreme hopes are born of extreme misery. –Bertrand Russell

I can only pray for miracles at this stage. I pray that their suffering reduces. I am pained to see my Dad’s pain. He is the best optimist I have always known and yet there are times of despair in his eyes.

My mother in law is a woman of tremendous strength and yet she feels helpless and hopeless that she is not able to do much in being able to reduce the pain and suffering her husband is going through.

Each of our strength and character has been tested in the past several months.

What have I learnt and still learning?   To believe in destiny but yet not give up hope. I have reiterated to myself to be realistic but be positive and be gratuitous to what I have amongst suffering and despair. It is moments of positivity that carries me through. I remind myself to treat life well rather than get hung up on people’s attitudes, ego and arrogance. I consciously avoid the naysayers, the arrogant and egoistic people because they don’t matter. You know your true friends in your life’s challenges. I am learning to value each moment through mindfulness, rather than worry about how tomorrow is going to be.  I don’t want to lose each moment that has been gifted to me with my loved ones.

I don’t want to give up, so God help me.

 

 

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Top 5 Lessons That Pain Teaches You

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Physical Pain is something that each of us undergo at some stage during our life. Many of us agonize over the pain that we undergo.   There is pain when we hurt ourself when we fall, hit ourself somewhere or from food poisoning, a surgery, a sprain, or a ligament tear. There are different kinds of physical pain : somatic, neuropathic, and visceral.

Have you ever asked or wondered as to how do you know when you sprain or twist a part of your body or when you have a tear of any tissue or  ligament or shoulder joint?

Do you take pain for granted?

For the first time, I realized after reading this article from the BBC, which appeared in July 2012, that there are people in this world who suffer from congenital analgesia.  Steven Pete and his brother were born with the rare genetic disorder congenital analgesia. They grew up – in Washington state, US – with a sense of touch but, as he explains in his own words, without ever feeling pain.

To suffer from physical pain is difficult and gets even more challenging for those whose tolerance level to bear the same may not be very high. Most of us moan and curse when we are in pain. Apart from all these pains is the emotional pain – pain in seeing our near and dear suffer, pain of regret, pain from having trusted someone who abused the trust.

Do you realize that pain can actually be a blessing ?

Physical pain warns you not to do something – for instance not walk with a ligament tear. Physical pain also enables you to determine an injury.

Emotional pain too can be a warning, for instance, to be careful of not trusting any person.

New brain scanning technologies are revealing that the part of the brain that processes physical pain also deals with emotional pain.

How can we use pain to grow, develop, to change and be human?

  1. Caution – many times because of your carelessness or being preoccupied with something or being unconsciously incompetent or consciously competent leading to overconfidence, you meet with accidents or perform an exercise in an incorrect way. Physical pain is thus caused. However if you were more conscious or not lost in your thoughts, chances of accidents reduce.
  2. Reduce regrets – you cannot control  every event in your life or for that matter influences in your life. What lies within your control is the meaning you attribute to each of these.  If you control the meaning or the impact of events in your life by creating as much value as you can, you will have a sense of purpose and personal power. Learn, unlearn and relearn from each regret and move forward.
  3. Recognize emotional blind spots – most of us tend to focus on the possible causes of pain and vulnerability. Instead if you were to try to ask what each hurtful incident means to you and what you can do to heal and improve. Recognize the emotional blind spots not by engaging in a blame game, self-pity, self-criticism or avoiding the hurt feeling but by being compassionate and controlling your attitude towards the situation. Ask What am I feeling?  What does it mean to me?  What can I do to improve and heal?   Ask for help from friends, family if you think you need to share.
  4. Thoughts – our thoughts control our feeling and our behavior.   Dale Carnegie was once asked what was the biggest lesson he had ever learned. He replied that, “By far, the most vital lesson I have ever learned is the importance of what we think.”   You see, Carnegie knew that our thoughts make us what we are—our mental attitude is the “X” factor that determines our fate. He quoted Emerson as having said, “A man is what he thinks about all day long…How could he possibly be anything else?”  Yes, if we think happy thoughts, we will be happy, if we think miserable thoughts, we will be miserable. If we think fear thoughts, we will be fearful. If we think sickly thoughts, we will probably be ill. If we think failure, we will certainly fail.  At the same time, Dale Carnegie knew that people couldn’t go around with a devil-may-care attitude about all their problems. Unfortunately, life isn’t so simple as all that. But he did advocate that we assume a positive attitude instead of a negative attitude. In other words, we need to be concerned about our problems, but not worried.  Our mind’s power to bring about change doesn’t stop with attitude, however. Remember…“Our life is what our thoughts make it.” Make yours strong, positive, and all it can be. For the full post click LINK
  5. Emotional intelligence – self-awareness is a crucial step in overcoming emotional pain. Once you are aware you can acknowledge it.  When you become aware that you feel emotionally vulnerable, allow yourself time and space to investigate your feelings. Use the power of your words. Remember your words create your thoughts and align your energy in a specific direction. Emotional memory management enables us to manage our emotions in a way that will produce more positive outcomes. I like to think emotions as colors, some simple, and yet others are blends.

As a leader if you are emotionally vulnerable, your department and the organization as a whole will experience high turnover and absenteeism.

How have you dealt with pain?

What have been your takeaways from each occasion of pain ?

Have You Befriended “The Gremlin”

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Belonging starts with self-acceptance … Believing that you’re enough is what gives you the courage to be authentic. – Brene Brown, research professor in social work

Who do you give more airtime to; your “Inner Champion” or your “Inner Critic”

A client of mine, let’s call her Jane had this struggle with her inner village. A pompous voice that always kept telling her that she will fail miserably when speaking in front of crowds.

If you look at Jane, she is an individual who exudes confidence in whatever she does in her other aspects of life. She has ventured out into many challenges in her work and personal life. However, in whatever she does she feels she is an underachiever and she can do better. She expects herself to always do better.

As far as public speaking was concerned, her inner critic dominated her and controlled her actions to her detriment.

As we engage with the world, many times we internalize the voices of our significant others, voices that encourage, voices that criticize, empowering voices, supportive voices, cautious voices, loving voices. And there is our voice of our own inner village that encourages and champions us in our endeavors and other times criticizes us and undermines our potential. The voice of the inner critique is one that loves to break us, stroke us and doubt ourselves. She falsifies your ego by justifying why you don’t want to do something.

When I asked Jane how long she has dealt with her critical inner village, she said “12 years.” And she was giving attention to it for 12 years.

She mentioned that her inner village always liked to bully her, tease her, remind her of all things that could go wrong if she had to speak in front of a crowd, how bad she was when she spoke, how her body language, facial expressions, and the way she spoke was improper. This inner village was almost always with her and spoke to her loud to discourage her. When she was dominated by her inner critic, if she happened to hear anything from her personal relationships, she found herself further vulnerable and in a flight or fight mode, though she never displayed it.

She came to me at a time when she realized that a strategy of trying to shut herself from this voice of the inner critic didn’t work. She realized that the situation was becoming worse. She couldn’t run away from herself. She had to face her inner demons, deal with them and overcome them.

So how does one recognize their inner critic, accept it, learn to deal with it and move on with life without this demon stopping you from living your life.

Questions you need to ask yourself – READ ON... FOR FULL POST PLEASE CLICK LINK

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Why Say “Thank You”

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Thanksgiving Day is a national holiday celebrated primarily in the United States and Canada. Several other places around the world observe similar celebrations. It is celebrated on the fourth Thursday of November in the United States and on the second Monday of October in Canada. Thanksgiving has its historical roots in religious traditions, but today is celebrated in a more secular manner.
 
The purpose of Thanksgiving is to reflect on everything that we have to be thankful for, be it health, family, food, friends, material possessions, overall happiness and success.

Do we need to Thank only on Thanksgiving Day or make that a part and parcel of our daily life ? I think this day serves as a good reminder that “thankfulness” and “appreciation” are important behaviors that need to be fostered as part of our day-to-day life.

“God gave you a gift of 86,400 seconds today. Have you used one to say “thank you?” William Arthur Ward
Thank you is the two most important words that each of us should never forget to use. Saying Thank you from the heart and with sincerity to another makes a world of difference. It is an expression of sense of gratitude, an acknowledgement, a recognition of someone’s worthwhile contributions, a sense of motivation and encouragement for the receiver.
 
Why Say Thank you ?
 
  1. Feeling grateful and expressing gratitude Even on the most down days, we need to learn to make Thank you a part of our day. Saying Thank You for our meals, for another day that has dawned on us, for our hands, eyes, feet, legs, and every part of our body.  Every little thing matters and having a sense of gratitude that life has offered each of us allows us to fill our life with love and appreciation.
  2. A sense of motivation within an organization – it is a simple and elegant form of recognizing somebody within an organization for their effort and contribution.
  3. Not having something – I’m very accident prone and every time I hurt my toe or finger or elbow, I realize the importance of each and every toe in my feet or the relevant body part. When everything is fine and functioning one tends to take the use of each part of our body for granted. However mishaps and accidents are gentle reminders of how important each part of our body is.
  4. Saying a sincere thank you helps us to become congruent. Congruence between our values, ethics and what we say, do and how we live. Don’t block the feeling to be sincere and shower the praise or gratitude or appreciation on some one else.
  5. What we focus grows – many cultures especially in Asia probably don’t grow up with saying Thank you especially amongst near and dear family and friends. However, the more we practice, the more we feel grateful for, and that means we focus more on things we are grateful for. It forces us not to take things and people around us for granted.
  6. Fill your world with love – being grateful helps us to fill our lives and those around us with love and make the other person know they matter. We remind ourselves by the act of Thank You that every thing matters in our life.
  7. Because It Matters –  it matters to you, it matters to those around you. Spread the love peace and gratitude.
I would like to share with you, one of my favorite Thank you songs  
 

Thank you for taking the time to read this blog and sharing it. Please share your perspective on “Thank you” in the comments section below. Thank you.

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What Makes You Come Alive?

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“The purpose of life is a life of purpose.” ― Robert Bryne

Life has a different meaning to each of us & in the many earth shattering moments that life presents us, some of us look for our calling. I believe that no matter how big or small, each of us, are driven by a purpose.

One of my friends had come to visit me a week back and we were catching up on family, events and life. She asked me how my parents were doing and I mentioned to her that my mom was not keeping too well. Her mom wasn’t keeping too well either. Each of us remarked that age adds its own share of twists and turns to life.

But then, I got thinking and told her, you know, what saddens me the most is that I feel that my mom has lost the drive, the sense of need to fight back. Of course her health has been challenging, but many times I feel she perhaps feels that she has lost the ‘Purpose’. My friend listening to my remark and my description of the various aspects of how my mom was, nodded in agreement.

Purpose in life is what leads us. This passion could be varied from bringing up children, serving and helping the needy, becoming one of the world’s richest entrepreneur, winning an Olympic medal, to looking after your family and home.

For each of us who are committed in doing what gives us joy, with sudden challenges like health issues, accidents or any other calamity, some of us feel cut off from our purpose. We feel there is no driving energy for our life.

My mom had a busy life and took joy in bringing up her two daughters, looking after her husband and her home. She made sure that the home was a temple filled with love, values and warmth. She worked hard for this and achieved this day in and day out. In the past few years on the advise of her doctor she is not allowed to do any household chores. May be, she feels that an important part of her life was taken away from her.

You may ask why don’t I ask her or talk to her. I have and continue to do so. She of course denies but I just sense a feeling of loss from her eye expressions and I feel sad.

We all live for a purpose and despite what life throws at us, somehow we need to get ourselves to change course without losing hope and momentum.  This is something that has to come from within. Hope is not something we can deny ourselves nor others. I don’t believe in giving false hope. You need to face reality but you should not lose enthusiasm nor lose the drive.

I constantly derive a lot of inspiration from my parents, my sister and from the various life stories of people that I meet or read or hear about.

One person who comes to my mind is Christopher Reeve.  Despite his paralysis, Reeve was determined to be financially self-sufficient. Less than a year after his injury, Reeve began to accept invitations for speaking engagements. He through his actions showed each of us that there can be life even after a serious injury and one should never give up.

Purpose in life is something each of us can associate with but sometimes we have to change paths to achieve our dreams or vision.

“There is a fire inside, Sit down beside it. Watch the flames, the ancient, flickering dance of yourself.” John MacEnulty

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