Little Things That Matter

Learn From The Past, Live The Present and Have An Open Mind to Face Tomorrow

5 Creative Ways To “Just Do It”

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“There is no way I can do this.”

“I admire you for being so courageous, I doubt if I ever can be like you”.

How many times have you uttered those words out loud or had thoughts similar to those? More importantly, how many times have these inner thoughts been so loud that they have stopped you from pursuing creative thinking or coming up with fresh ideas?

All of us have these little voices or the inner gremlin sitting on our shoulder, at various intensities at various points of time in our lives telling us we’re not good enough or we don’t deserve what we have got or we are not capable.

These voices of self-doubt or inner critique stop you in your pursuit of excellence and from your growth and development.

How do you face your inner gremlin and tell her or him to shut up ?

How do you unplug your fears and “Just Do It”?

1. Clarity

Clarity of purpose is a great guide to achieving what you set out to do so. That inner guide reminds you of your purpose and why you do what you do. Do you have clarity on your purpose ?

2. Listen

When the little voice is a deal stopper, listen up. Listen to what it is telling you. Write it down and don’t dwell on it at that moment. Walk away. Come back and read it.

3. What is the worst that can happen ?

When you read what you have written, evaluate objectively what is the worst case scenario ? Is there any truth in your fear ? What happened when you faced a similar fear last time ? How did you get over it ? What did you do well ? What lessons did you learn?

4. Truth

Once you have identified the worst case scenario and there is some credence to your fear, ask how can you better from the worst case scenario ? What do you need to do to achieve the desired results and improve from the worst case scenario?

5.Self-Confidence

To enhance your self-confidence, you need to stop worrying and ask yourself how much is the price you are willing to pay for worrying and is it worth it? Self-confidence is built from self-acceptance and by identifying your strengths and achievements in the past. How did you overcome your last challenge?

Get support from a coach or a mentor to assist you in where you want to be.

Your fear and self-doubt is the truth, if you give power to it.

In your pursuit of #excellence and #quality, let go of your fears and #JustDOIt. #leadfromwithin

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Believe in yourself and work towards improving yourself on a daily basis. #leadfromwithin #self-confidence #fears

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How are you breaking from your fears and doubts and setting yourself on the path to success?

For one-on-one coaching, speaking, training and/or group workshops, let’s connect.

Top 10 Routines to Adopt and Lead By Example

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Do you engage in physical activity ?

Do you go running or go to the gym or yoga on a daily basis ?

Do you plan your day and make time for the things you want to do ?

What if I told you not to take a shower on a daily basis ?

These were the questions that the lady, who was doing an orientation on Mindfulness, fired off to her audience and I was one of them.

She remarked that “If you can make time to clean up physically and look good, you also need to make time to do a mental clean up on a daily basis!”

Get into a routine and that is a matter of consciously setting time for it and for that you intentionally need to believe it as a priority. Routines, often perceived as boring and dull is a necessary part of our lives. You don’t need to think of routine as boring especially if it is something that helps you be who you are. You need to leave enough scope to be flexible and adaptable to unplanned things.

Following a routine is a matter of discipline. I’m a juvenile diabetic and have followed one routine, among other routines, diligently to date in my life. I inject insulin injections three times daily and am disciplined about my diet and health, from the age of eight.

There are many routines that each of us follow. However, no matter who you are, there are some routines which need to be adopted and maintained along the journey of life.

As a leader and as a person who wants to continuously grow and step out of your comfort zone, you need to think about adopting the following routines

1. Listen

No genuine connection happens without listening. There is not a moment in your life where you can stop listening. Listen because it engages you as a leader and as an empathetic human. Listen to understand and not necessarily listen to respond every time.

2. Reflect

To reflect is to give credit to yourself on what you did well, what you could do better or differently and what you could stop doing. Reflection can be in silence or by journaling. Reflection can be on your day, the way you were, your behaviors and what you did.

3. Hope

Be an #optimist, instill #hope and provide encouragement to all those around you or whose lives you touch.

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 A realistic optimist is inspiring and it is a great trait to cultivate and have.

4. Reading

Read, learn, unlearn and discover. 

#Reading enables you to #discover, gain #knowledge and expand your thoughts and grow.

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5. Influence

The skill to influence, convince and persuade people to a common cause or vision, is one that never stops being useful. It is one characteristic that each of us can continue to develop, no matter how good you are at it already.

6. Resourceful

This is one routine that is not paid particular attention to. In this dynamic world that we live in, resourcefulness helps you to step out of your comfort zone and find solutions to the challenges.

7. Exercise

Exercise helps you to be energetic, release stress and get the creative juices flowing and be mentally alert. Don’t we all want that on a daily basis?

8. Mindfulness

The importance of mindfulness cannot be underestimated. There is overwhelming research and scientific data proving the benefits of mindfulness. A routine that I am cultivating as part of my life from now, slowly but surely.

9. Empathy

Empathy allows you to be kind, to be committed to your word, to not take others’ feelings for granted, to be engaged and committed to your work and overall understand your team and those around you better.

10. Emotional Intelligence

We are emotional beings and to cultivate a routine to be aware of your emotions, understand what they are telling you and realize how your emotions affect people around you is a lifelong commitment. EI encompasses many other routines mentioned above and helps you to be empathetic, listen and connect with people.

Sticking to some routines is beneficial and not boring. The 10 routines listed are not exhaustive.  Would you like to add some? Please do so in the comments section.

⇒Which of these routines are you going to make it part of your day and yet make it interesting?
⇒What routines do you need to let go off to make space for the top 10 above ?

For training, group coaching, one-on-one coaching, speaking and workshops let’s connect

Five Reasons Why CARE Matters

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We went to one of our favorite French Restaurants, over the weekend. The chef who runs this restaurant is someone who cares consistently about the quality of his food and his customers.

We have been going to his restaurant, which has travelled many places within the city due to the ever rising rents, for more than 10 years. His current restaurant is small and can probably seat about 30 people. I would normally not go to a street where his restaurant resides currently. Yet, I went, only because of the care this chef has shown to his clients over the years in terms of the quality of the food and the service……

A friend of mine remarked in one of my conversations with her that a colleague of hers seems to have gone quiet. Somebody who was enthusiastic and trying to find ways to improve on things had suddenly lost her energy……

You don’t send me messages as often as you used to. What happened? This was one of my friends who asked me this? I got away by saying I was busy. Whilst I was busy, that definitely was not the real reason for not sending her messages as often as I used to. Fact is, I was tired of having a one way communication and decided I shouldn’t and probably somewhere I decided to change the care in that relationship……..

I was in a coaching supervision discussion two weeks back and one of the participants remarked that my client probably doesn’t care. That struck a chord in my mind…..

Care is so important and yet the most underestimated feeling in the business and corporate world.

I deliver sales training and conduct workshops related to sales amongst many other trainings and workshops and it is evident from the various stories that I hear that care, which is imperative in continuing a customer relationship, is one of the most ignored feeling.

Think about it, would you continue to do something with your heart, if you didn’t care.

A #mother’s #love is the true form of #care and it is imperative in the #Business and #Corporate world. #life

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⇒If you didn’t care for something, you lose interest.

⇒If you didn’t care, you will take everything for granted and become indifferent.

⇒If you didn’t care for a customer, you would not attend to every detail in that relationship and the latter comes from understanding the client.

⇒If you didn’t care, you would probably not try to resolve or suggest solutions to every inefficiency within the organization that you work with.

How many restaurants and businesses do you know which open with enthusiasm and as the business progresses, the attention to detail and little things that matter are taken for granted. In short they stop caring.

#Care matters in #influencing and maintaining a #relationship. #peopleskills #CSR #life

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As a leader how can you make sure that you continue to care ?

1. Care for the complaints

Complaints are irritating and can trigger a negative vicious cycle. But you need to distinguish between a complaint which is condemnation from one that is genuine and made with the intention of taking the business or company forward. Better still see if you can take care of those little things that matter that no complaints come up.

2. Care for your team and employees

Engaged employees are those who are recognized, respected and cared for by their manager and their organization. Get to know your team because it is the inner view that enables you to determine what is each of their interests and their strengths.

3. Care for them as a person

No matter who you are, be kind.

#Kindness makes a difference to someone’s day. #peopleskills #care #relationships #leadfromwithin

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4. Care for your customers

Customers are the backbone of any business. Without customers your business is non-existent. How would you like to be treated as a customer or as a person? 

Don’t forget to #care for your #customers. #CSR #peopleskills

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5. Care because it Matters

Would you like to be treated with care? Would you do anything consistently, if you didn’t care? Would you deal with someone, as a customer, as an employee or as a person, if the “care” aspect was missing?

You, as a #leader can #leadbyexample by showing you #care in who you are, what you do and what you say.

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Care because we all need Compassion, Appreciation, Reinforcement and Empathy.

How are you bringing “care” in everything you are and everything you do ?

How are you spreading the positivity in care?

For one-on-one coaching, workshops, training, speaking let’s connect

10 Reasons To Be Thankful For

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It is so easy to complain and get into the negative mindset. Over the weekend, I participated in @Kate Nasser weekly people skills chat and the topic this week was “Ending Toxic Attitudes, Interactions, Relationships.”

During the chat there were some interesting insights. Indeed, it is so easy to get into the vicious cycle of negativity and thereafter it is a matter of spiraling down a negative and toxic path.

Negativity may be triggered by someone’s behavior failing to meet rational, logic and emotion, reality is way different from your expectations, your mindset and perspective.

Being #Thankful is one way to break the vicious cycle of negativity and consciously tell yourself to overcome stress.

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Yes, when you are going through that emotion, you may feel that it is easier said than done “to be thankful”. Yet, it takes a conscious mindset to remind yourself of what you can be thankful for, even in that adverse situation. Try it and experience what happens …..

Be Thankful for

→1. Things that went well (there are several things that go well even on the worst day. You need to remind yourself of those)
→2. Things you did well
→3. Things that failed and the lessons you learnt
→4. Things you didn’t do too well and what you can do differently next time
→5. Who you are. If you are not pleased with the way you are now, you will not be able to make progress and live life fully.
→6. Things you couldn’t do and what did those teach you. Remind yourself of those times you bounced back and showed your resilience.
→7. Moments when you felt you could have done better and the lessons learnt
→8. What you learnt from the loss of someone or something. Loss of someone near and dear is painful and the best way to remember that person is to cherish the good memories. How can you value your time with people who still live in this world?
→9. Achieving what you set out to achieve either fully or partially.
→10. You. You are enough and the day has gone by. There is always more and there will hopefully be another day to explore new experiences.

#Gratitude has a calming effect on your mind and sends a #positive signal to the brain. #leadfromwithin #life

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It helps your executive center to continue to work in a rational way. We are emotional beings and mindfulness helps to keep our brain calm.

How are you breaking away from falling prey to a toxic mindset?

How do you encourage others to be positive ?

For one-on-one coaching, speaking, training, workshops let’s connect

Are You Willing To Remove Your Mask And Be Who You Are?

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During social gatherings or networking meetings, I often meet people whom I think I know and yet I realize that the person I’m interacting with is somebody very different from who they are, if you meet them one-on-one.

I was watching Revenge last weekend and the following reflection by the main character, piqued my interest.

“Just as there are two sides to every story, there are two sides to every person… …one that we reveal to the world and another we keep hidden inside. A duality governed by the balance of light and darkness. Within each of us is the capacity for both good and evil.”

As Hamlet said to Ophelia, “God has given you one face, and you make yourself another.” The battle between these two halves of identity……who we are and who we pretend to be… is unwinnable.

I often wonder why people wear masks and fail to connect with their genuine self.

When you observe children, you notice that they are genuine, un-spoilt and you get what you see. Dogs are genuine and have an uncanny ability to be friendly and genuine. There is no hidden agenda in a dog’s behavior.

Most people associate authenticity with being yourself, walking your talk or being true to oneself. Authenticity, however, goes beyond how you feel about yourself. It is a relational behavior your ability to be comfortable with yourself and connect with others comfortably.

You can be direct and genuine without being rude and arrogant. Using Diplomacy and tact is not about changing personalities and wearing masks.

Each of us, no matter the situation, can be who we want to be. Create a self-awareness and ask yourself if you are being honest to yourself.

I was inspired by the following speech given by MR. RATAN TATA at Symbiosis in Pune, India.

“Don’t just have career or academic goals. Set goals to give you a balanced, successful life. Balanced means ensuring your health, relationships, mental peace are all in good order. There is no point of getting a promotion on the day of your breakup. There is no fun in driving a car if your back hurts. Shopping is not enjoyable if your mind is full of tensions. Don’t take life seriously. Life is not meant to be taken seriously, as we are really temporary here. We are like a prepaid card with limited validity. If we are lucky, we may last another 50 years. And 50 years is just 2,500 weekends. Do we really need to get so worked up? …It’s OK, Bunk few classes, score low in couple of papers, take leave from work, fall in love, fight a little with your spouse… It’s ok… We are people, not programmed devices..! “Don’t be serious, enjoy Life as it comes”

Life in her journey offers you opportunities in the form of hurdles, challenges or defined pathways.

The Choice is up to each of us to be who we want to be in that moment of decision.

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I have in my moments of indecision and conflict relied on listening to my inner guide. My three words for this year’s journey are : Explore, Overcome and Grow.

Are you willing to go on a journey within & connect with yourself ?

In all the masks you wear, are you being honest to yourself ?

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5 Key Ways to The Art of Saying “No”

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Do you face the Fear of
→Losing a client or
→Hurting someone’s feelings or
→Upsetting your boss or
→A bad reputation or
→Being called arrogant and rude or
→Turned away from a deal

Do these fears therefore restrict your ability to say “No” even though that is your most desired response in that moment of decision.

Saying “No” is one of the biggest challenges for most people.

For most, their self- confidence and communication skill is challenged, when they have to say “No”. It causes stress and anxiety and they rather say Yes than No so as to avoid potential discomfort.

However, by over committing, you thin yourself out, leading to stress and overwhelm which in turn can affect your ability to deliver with excellence.

Research from the University of California in San Francisco shows that the more difficulty you have saying no, the more likely you are to experience stress, burnout, and even depression (three things that hinder your emotional intelligence). Source : Forbes

I’ve learnt the art of saying “No”, when required over the years. Despite this, I still struggle at times, with saying “No”, when it comes to some existing clients or in the case of potential business opportunity or with respect to some people.

How do I remind myself about the importance of saying “No”, no matter how difficult it may be? I do so in the following five key ways:

1. Prioritize

Each of us have the same 24 hours given in a day. How we choose to use it depends on us and the priorities we set ourselves.

It is necessary to prioritize because not all the things can be done at the same time or on the same day nor is it possible to please everyone. Value your time. How are you prioritizing ? Are you sticking by it once you have determined what is the priority on that day?

2. Communicate

You may be struggling with the “No” because you don’t want to hurt the other person’s feelings, or you feel it is beyond your comfort zone because the recipient may be your boss or client or someone to whom you have never said a “No”. Saying “No” is not bad, all depends on how you say it.

You need to think about the tone and the words you are going to use to communicate the “No”. If you understand how your stakeholders have been influenced culturally through “the language they speak” , you will be able to articulate the “No” in a manner that does not hurt the recipient.

Be assertive and that does not mean arrogance or being rude. Sleep on it so that you can reframe the way you say the “No”.

3. Are you saying “No” to yourself or other things

In your day how many times should you be saying “No” to yourself in doing some activities or being someone else when you should be saying “Yes” to other things or being your true self.

By saying “Yes” to others, if you are denying yourself something or not doing something else which needs attention, what is the end result. Is it desirable?

4. Finding Your Yes

It is important to know what you should be saying “Yes” to. #assertive #communication

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 Start by focusing on the Yes. This will enable you to remind yourself of your priorities and thus say “No”, when required. How will you say “No”, if you didn’t know what you should say Yes to.

5. How is it beneficial ?

Would you rather say “No” instead of keeping somebody waiting for a response? Often, when people have to say no to a proposal or a candidate, they avoid the situation and choose not to respond or hinge on being cagey and vague. By doing so, you are giving unnecessary hope to someone. Think about the benefits of saying “No”.

The Art of Saying “No” is about your #mindset, your thoughts and the #communication skill to translate it into a capacity to act.

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 It is about being articulate and perhaps even persuasive by saying “No”.

What are some of the ways you are saying “No”?

What stops you from saying “No”?

For one-on-one coaching, speaking, workshops, and/or training, let’s Connect

Five Key Questions To Inspire And Lead

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“I am not motivated by the others in the room. The skill level of most other participants are not that good and clearly I and two others are the only contributors. You should encourage participants at the same skill level to be on such workshops”

This was the remark made by one of the participants at a workshop that I was conducting recently in Singapore.

When this participant expressed her opinion, another participant remarked that “as a junior she gets an opportunity to learn and thus people with different skills and experience should continue to be encouraged”.

I heard both their points of view and mentioned to the woman who believed that she should be with people at her skill level or higher that her organization and Human Resources determine who participates.

Whilst I empathized with her and understood her frustration, I challenged her to think from a different perspective. I asked her if she believed herself to be a leader to which she answered well I’m leading a team.

#Leadership is about how you #connect, #communicate and #collaborate with the people around you.

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 Do you think you’ll be inspired by yourself? She was taken aback at my question.

We meet people from different backgrounds, different skill sets, different experience on a day-to-day basis.

How can you be inspiring and shine your light?

1. Do you self-reflect ?

Life is a roller coaster and no matter how much of an expert each of us may be in our own area of expertise, we still make mistakes.
Reflect on
* what went well,
* what can I do better and
* what can I let go?

#Learning happens from the good and bad experiences and from #mistakes or #failures. #leadbyexample

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2. What can I learn from others?

Even with years of experience there is always something to learn from others. On the face of it, some conversations and participating in a workshop with people less experienced may be frustrating. However, ask yourself what can I do in the current situation to make it interesting and challenging ?
How can I encourage others to participate? Can I share my experiences and get some different insights from others? What are they good at and how can I expand my knowledge in that area?

3. What is your “Why “?

Setting a conscious intention before any activity helps you to find a meaningful path to your desired goal. Finding or reminding yourself of your intention enables you to cross over the hurdles that you may face along the way. 

Your Why is the ultimate #goal and it has to be big enough to #motivate, #inspire and encourage you. #leadership

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How can you relate the day-to-day activities and who you are to your Why?

4. Where are your leadership locks?

Sometimes the stumbling blocks may be created from your thinking. Many times what locks you in is your perspective and your view of things.
At times what you think is the problem is not the problem. Your mindset may be the one that needs to be addressed.

5. Are you reactive or proactive?

Your attitude is what you have control of and it can mar or make your moment. It is good to be prepared and yet expect the unexpected and have the EI to adapt and be flexible in the way you communicate. As a leader choose to be proactive instead of reactive. And the only way this can be achieved is to have a mindset of let go and let your thoughts and emotions be in tandem.

I encouraged this participant to develop her leadership skills in such circumstances. May be this is where her learning can take place. As she moves up the seniority ladder, it is the leadership skills that she needs to hone on.

What can you do to inspire people?
Are you a victim of circumstances or do you choose to be a learner from your frustrations and challenges?

For Speaking, One on One Coaching, Training, Facilitation or workshops, let’s Connect

5 Key Questions To Lead By Example And Influence Others

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Lead By Example – lalitaraman.com

A colleague of mine was upset that he had not received any response to his email for over two days. He vented out and then remarked that any email should be responded within 24 hours. He is of the view that even if a person is not able to respond in detail, the least they could do is to acknowledge the email. I smiled at him and he looked at me in shock. Whilst I agree with him, I also wondered about his behavior and if he leads by example in acknowledging an email within the time frame he expects others to do so.

I have not seen a response from him for days or several months on important emails, despite reminders and most people dealing with him have a similar experience. To persuade and influence others, do you personify the qualities that you seek in others?

Clearly, in this case my colleague was expecting something of others which he was not following.

We have all worked with people either as bosses or as colleagues, with behaviors similar to  :

⇒ The manager who says strict cost controls are being introduced with immediate effect and you find that he is having exorbitant dinner party with clients.
⇒ The manager who introduces travel restrictions in terms of costs and yet he or she travels business class or first class for a journey of 4 hours or less.
⇒ The manager who promotes a clean desk policy despite his office and desk being in a mess.

All these people may be in a leadership position by way of the title given to them. However, are they truly inspiring? Do they lead by example in who they are and what they do?

What can you do to lead by example ? Here are five questions to guide you to be on track to influence and inspire others.

1. What standards you set for yourself ?

Your character is built on your integrity. No matter what situation you are in or the role you play, what do your actions and behaviors reflect? Are you being a judge on yourself or a lawyer?

Do you make excuses and find a way out in a conflict of interest situation or in a situation when you know you haven’t delivered up to the mark?

The best test of your Character is not how you are when you are on top but how you are when you are in an adverse situation and working your way back.

2. What standards do you set for others?

Do you expect others to adhere to high standards that you rarely follow? How do you react when someone points out that you don’t walk your talk?

You #leadbyexample when you set challenging #goals and standards for yourself and live by them. #leadership

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3. How do you react to your own mistakes and those of others?

Do you beat yourself up on mistakes that you make or

Are you willing to use the mistakes as a stepping stone to learn and get closer to your goal?

Do you adopt a lenient approach to your own mistakes and at the same time don’t give others a chance to learn from their mistakes?

Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct – Dale Carnegie

4. How do you influence others ?

Do you give orders or ask questions and engage in a conversation ? Do you take time to listen and inspire people to embrace change ? Do you acknowledge, appreciate and connect with others for who they are instead of what they can do for you ?

Are you willing to let go of control and trust in the potential of others ?

Every one likes to get praise and feedback for what they do. They want to be acknowledged and made to feel that “They Matter”. How best can you achieve this in your relationships ?

5. What is your purpose ?

Why do you do what you do? Are you committed to your word ? As a leader you need to articulate your vision in such a way that people are inspired to not only be motivated by your vision but also act to achieve that vision.

In each moment, you create an impression by your interaction, by your actions, by what you say, and who you are. #leadbyexample

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How are you going to make these moments impactful and lead by example?

For consulting, coaching, speaking, workshops and training, let’s connect.

The Virtue Of Gratitude

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I was conducting a 5 day workshop on Executive Presence recently and one of the participants started chatting with me during lunch on day 3. She was appreciative of the workshop and she felt she had not achieved what she had set for herself.

I was observing and listening to her and I was amazed at the dramatic change that this woman had displayed in a matter of 2.5 days. She had grown from someone who was shy, who had a fear of speaking in front of crowds, to someone who had found the courage to ask questions, be more articulate in her communication. Despite what I had observed, she had not noticed that in herself. She was frozen in her self- perspective

Instead of asking her, what she had set for herself, I asked her what are you thankful for? She was awestruck by my question……

 How many times have you heard yourself or others say?

→I don’t have enough time in the day to live my dreams.
→Life has been very unkind to me.
→Why Me?
→What is the point of waking up daily and doing the same thing?
→They are a difficult bunch to work with.
→I wish I could get more.
→I am tired of eating the same dish every second day.
→I have to work long hours……

While there is nothing wrong in venting out once in a while, if these become your daily slogan, day-in-day-out, it is time to stop and reflect.

Don’t allow your want of new things to forget the things you have and be thankful for it. #gratitude #humility #life

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Don’t allow your aspirations and expectations of yourself to improve, to cloud what you have achieved. #thankyou #gratitude

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Fill your life with gratitude because you and others deserve it.

Be Thankful for

1. What you have and what you have achieved.
2. The food you eat daily.
3. Waking up every morning and taking that breath into a new day.
4. Friends, family and all those who care for you in your life because without them, life is not worth living.
5. Difficult people in your life because they give you an opportunity to grow and develop
6. The challenges, because that makes you stronger
7. Not getting something because that makes you realize that you need to step out of your comfort zone and do something different.
8. The job that you have because there are many who are unemployed, and not by choice.
9. The love that is showered on you by people in your daily life.
10. Every little thing that life has given you because without any of that, you wouldn’t be where you are today.

#Life is much better lived with #gratitude because without that, you are constantly in a vicious cycle of negativity, cynicism and hurt.

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Gratitude turns
⇒enough into more
⇒denial into self-acceptance and hope
⇒ chaos into spark of light
⇒confusion into clarity

⇒And Negativity Into Positivity.

How are you going to fill your life with more Gratitude?
What are you doing to express gratitude and humility?

For one-one-one coaching, speaking, worships and training, let’s connect

Don’t Get Knocked Over By Your Inner Critic, Instead Knock Out Your Fear

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“There is no way I can do this.”
“You are confident and do it so well but I lack the confidence.”
“I will look like a fool if I participate in that forum on Leadership Perspectives.”
“I’m so not prepared for this new role.”
“I’m not going to fare well in this interview”

If the conversations you have with yourself matches any of the above and appears in the middle of an interview, presentation, discussion, you’ll probably not appear confident and relaxed. Often your consistent negative monologue can turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy. Your thoughts control your actions and behavior in terms of your body language, tone of voice and words. If your inner critique is always a negative monologue, it can cause harm and self-destruction.

Whilst your inner talk can help you be on the path of self- improvement and development, overly harsh and critical dialogue with yourself can do you no good.

If you are somebody who gets put down by your inner talk, here are five ways to tame it and use it for your development

1. Stop Over Thinking

Be aware of your thoughts. Are your thoughts stopping you from progressing ? Are you mulling over your thoughts repeatedly ? When something didn’t go well or when you make a mistake, you may be tempted to over analyze it. By going over your mistake over and over again will not help you.
A better perspective you can take is to determine what went well and what could you do better? If you get caught in your negativity, take a break, visualize yourself pressing ctrl+alt+del to throw away your negativity, go for a walk or be with nature.

2. When things go wrong or unplanned

Things can go pear-shaped and this happens to the best of us. Most of our instincts is to think, analyze and replay the events in our head over and over again. Whilst reflection is useful and helpful, repeatedly reminding yourself of all things that went wrong isn’t. Reflect on what went well, what could be done better and what lessons did you learn to get on a path of excellence.

3. Face your fear and look at the evidence

Whenever your inner critic knocks at your door and stops you from delivering what you are capable of, ask yourself what are you fearful of, how real is it, what is the worst that can happen, what are you willing to do to improve on the worst and how did you perform in a similar situation. Answers to these questions will enable you to overcome your fears created by your inner talk that you get overwhelmed by. Replace the extreme negative thoughts and statements with accurate statements of reality supported by evidence.

4. Would you treat your best friend the way you treat yourself

Would you discourage your friend if she faced a similar situation? Are you going to tell her that she cannot do anything and she is useless. If she came to you for advice or words of support and encouragement what would you tell her? Can you consider saying the same thing to yourself and be on the path to grow and excel?

5. Self-confidence

A great deal of self-confidence comes from self-acceptance, building an inventory of your strengths and accomplishments and self-improvement. Self-awareness is essential to be on the path to grow and excel. Learn to build on your strengths and work on your challenges.

There is immense power in your inner dialogue, make it empowering and one that fuels your success. #leadfromwithin

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The key is to not fall victim to extreme negativity.

I overcame my fear of public speaking by working on some of the points mentioned above. I conduct workshops, seminars, facilitate trainings and it is possible only because I chose to conquer my inner critic.

For consulting, training or one on one coaching, let’s connect.