Little Things That Matter

Learn From The Past, Live The Present and Have An Open Mind to Face Tomorrow

  • Email
  • LinkedIn
  • Twitter
  • Home
  • About Lalita Raman
  • Connect With Me

Oh No! Not Another Meeting

26 March 2015 By Lalita Raman Leave a Comment

I can’t believe you will be there at the meeting. This was a remark made by one of my colleagues. This meeting has an agenda and we always get something done and achieve what we set out for. I don’t have any issues attending these kind of fruitful meetings was my response to him.

Couple of weeks back, I received an email asking a group of us of our availability during a particular week. I read that email and was confused. First of all there was no clear agenda or plan as to what we need each one’s expertise for. What is each one’s interest or what are each of us good at and how can this be used to get the best of what needs to be achieved during the end of that week for which this email was sent out. Meetings were held before this as to what we need to do and other than something needs to be done, nothing concrete materialized.

Let’s schedule a meeting has become the main stay of most of the corporate world, the nonprofit world and basically part of our day-to-day life. Let’s discuss on Skype, G+, conference call or face to face monthly morning meeting, weekly morning meeting or daily meeting. No matter if Ideas need to be discussed or progress needs to be checked on, let’s call a meeting.

Whilst there is nothing wrong with scheduling a meeting, regularly or not, it may not be the right solution and even in instances, where, it is the best answer, the meeting needs to be structured and held in such a way, that the end goal is achieved and each participant in the meeting feels that their time was well utilized.

People in leadership positions (not necessarily all of them behave like leaders) are more often than not responsible for calling for meetings and most of the time these meetings becomes a tool in their hands to justify their presence. It is like a tick in the box with very little or no meaningful engagement from the participants.

Questions that leaders can ask themselves is

1. What is the purpose of the meeting ?

Do I really need this meeting? Is it to discuss ideas, monitor progress and is there a necessity to do that ? Am I calling for a meeting because it has been done so for the past 10 years?

Are you relying heavily on face to face meetings rather than reading and analyzing reports and data available to you ?

Do you tend to have the meetings to solicit input from others but tend to either ignore their inputs or have a tough time making decisions?

2. Do you have a clear road map to achieve the purpose?

Once you have determined that there is a concrete purpose to the meeting, set a road map as to how you will achieve it.

Are you going to be dominant and self-oriented and give little or no chance to others to contribute?

How are you going to get others to communicate and contribute?

We live in the world of communication and to keep the flow of communication going, your attitude, your mindset and what you say and how you say are all equally important.

3. What kind of a leader or person are you ?

Check your style by performing an assessment so that you are aware or increase your awareness and at the same time get others perspectives.

⇒Are you

Conservative/Technical/Innovative in terms of your approach to problems and solutions. How is this affecting your daily management of your day and the way you communicate with others.

⇒How are you in

Structuring/Delegation/Communication when it comes to your team and defining expectations.

Where do you need to #letgo to get the best from your team? #communication #peopleskills

Click To Tweet

⇒Are you a thinker or a doer and how do you balance it out in your day-to-day interactions – Strategic v/s Tactical.

⇒What is your style – relationship centered or task centered or are you balanced about the two in seeking to achieve your vision. How are you using your style to communicate with others and encourage them?

Meetings can be interesting if there is a set goal, interesting ways to get to the goal and there is clear communication flow.

How can you make your #meetings #interesting, #productive and #effective for yourself and others?

Click To Tweet

 Do you want people to attend your meetings because they have to and not feel like? Do you want the participants in your meeting giving their attention to their mobile or achieving the purpose of the meeting?

When do you enjoy meetings and why? Can you bring some of that in the meetings you conduct?

Let’s connect for workshops, group coaching, facilitation, one-on-one coaching. 

Share this:

  • Tweet
  • Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window) Email

Like this:

Like Loading...

Filed Under: Attitude, Coaching, Communication, Employee Engagement, Habits, Integrity, Lead By Example, Lead From Within, Leadership & Personal Development, Life, Mindfulness Tagged With: attitude, Communication, lead change, lead from within, leaders, Leadership, meetings

Are You Ready To Unplug, Detach, Step Away from FOMO and Connect?

17 March 2015 By Lalita Raman Leave a Comment

Last Wednesday, I was speaking at the British Chamber of Commerce. The event was held at the British Consulate and for security reasons, they don’t allow any electronic devices during the event. For all those entering as visitors to the building, you are required to surrender all electronic equipment at the security. In fact, as a speaker you appreciate this because you get the undivided attention and engagement of the audience. It so happened, I forgot my iPhone on that day and realized only when I arrived at the venue. I didn’t allow that to bother me, I instead felt relieved that I didn’t have to bother giving my phone and worry about its safety since their locker will hold old models of iPhones or Samsung not the iPad, or the iPhone 6 or 6 plus or the latest Samsung 6 or a laptop.

The event ran for 90 minutes and after that I had to meet a colleague and friend of mine to discuss a workshop that we were going to deliver together. I rely on my phone to do almost 95% of my work from notes, reminders, calendars, documents, blog, and emails to other basic things that a phone is used for.

In discussions with her, I was missing my phone because I could not refer to the notes I had made nor was I able to jot down the quick discussion points.

At that time, I thought to myself … Surely I can rely on my memory to discuss the relevant points and I can jot down important points if necessary on a piece of paper.

Not having my phone initially made me feel handicapped and on the return to my office by bus, I definitely missed my phone, because I read books from my iPhone.

But once I told myself, let me be in this moment, I realized that I can live without it and the world is not coming to an end.

How many of us are victims of our mobile device? Do we constantly check our mobile and use that as an excuse to not connect with people who are in front of us?

In meetings, just because it is boring how many times have you picked up your mobile and tapped away messages on it, as if your response can’t wait?

As a leader, are you using your mobile

→as a way of pretending to be busy?
→with the fear of missing out?
→because you are bored
→to be constantly in the midst of things
→to be hands on
→to feel wanted

And if you are doing this, are you missing out from being a genuine leader that involves these key traits?

1. To appreciate

We appreciate you. A simple yet powerful morale booster. This statement speaks directly to the person or members of your team. This combined with evidence to support why they are being appreciated is even better.

2. You Matter

As human beings, we like attention irrespective of whether you are an extrovert or introvert. Each one of us like to be made to feel that we matter.

3. How can I help you ?

Instead of telling someone in your team, something needs to be done and not bothering to ask why they were not able to get to their goal, try something different – let’s work on achieving this and how can I help you?

4. Thank you

Silent #gratitude is as good as no gratitude. #appreciation #peopleskills #littlethingsthatmatter

Click To Tweet

 

A genuine #thankyou goes a long way in connecting with others and making them feel #appreciated.

Click To Tweet

5. To Show Up

Are you showing up fully for yourself and for the team you lead? If you are not mindful and present as a leader, it is unlikely you will be an inspiration to others.

6. To Listen

#Listen because that is the only way you’ll #understand and #empathize

Click To Tweet

Your observation and listening skills will enable you to connect in a more meaningful way to your team members. 

The best #gift you can give someone is your #time and your undivided #attention.

Click To Tweet

7. To Communicate and Connect

Are you being an impactful communicator no matter the medium? Do you make an effort to connect and know those in your team and around you? Be there for others through adversities and good times.

Connect with your team and people who matter. Don’t forget to acknowledge somebody who is in front of you because you are busy with your mobile.

There is a time and place for everything. Use it appropriately. #leadfromwithin #respect #peopleskills #courtesy

Click To Tweet

Questions to Reflect

⇒What are some of the ways you can connect with people?
⇒How do you engage with your team members?
⇒How do you lead by example?
⇒What are some of the values you are building in your organization?

For one-on-one coaching, workshops, training, group coaching and/or speaking, let’s connect.

Share this:

  • Tweet
  • Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window) Email

Like this:

Like Loading...

Filed Under: Attitude, Character, Coaching, Communication, Customer Service and Sales, Employee Engagement, Habits, Idiosyncracies, Integrity, Lead By Example, Lead From Within, Leadership & Personal Development, Life, Mindfulness Tagged With: appreciate, British Chamber of Commerce, communicate, iPhone, lead by example, Leader, Leadership, leadfromwithin, listen, mobile, thank you, Understand

How To Control Your Mind?

5 March 2015 By Lalita Raman Leave a Comment

Attachment-1 (7)

I had to wake up at 4:30 am, on Wednesday, for an early morning call, and I was dreading it on Tuesday. I don’t sleep until late and thus waking up that early in the morning is not my cup of tea. I was working on some deadlines on Tuesday and throughout the evening, I was frustrated that these on-line webinars almost always suited the U.S. time zone, despite international participation.

My mind was brooding on this so much, that I became stressed. This continued on for probably a little over 2 hours. I suddenly realized that I was unable to focus my attention on what I was doing. and I hadn’t done much. I had to snap out of this.

The timing of the early morning call was not something I could choose. What I can choose is my state of mind and how I appear at this moment of time and also at the webinar. I also reminded myself that I had on several occasions delivered training till 10:30 pm and taken a red-eye flight thereafter to deliver another training at 9 am, the following day, without a wink of sleep.

I made myself a cup of coffee and settled back into what had to be done.

I woke up this morning and I was fully present and had no issues concentrating and being an active participant.

Our state of #mind dictates who we are at any moment in #time. #EI #stress #health #leadfromwithin

Click To Tweet

.

As a leader,

→How do you show up when things happen against your will or expectation?

→How do you react when you are feeling overwhelmed at the number of things that need to be done?

→What are some of the things you consciously let go of to keep yourself at peace and appear calm in front of your team?

→We are emotional beings and the strongest of us go through moments of overwhelm, frustration, and stress. Do you apply the brakes before it is too late to consciously get out of the agitated state of mind leading to stress and frustration?

What are some of the ways to control our mind and be present

1. Be aware

Self-awareness is the first step. You consciously recognize you are in that agitated state of mind. Before your mind takes control of you, take a step to come back into the present. Be aware of your thoughts and feelings and what they are doing to you and your actions.

2. How strong are you?

Encourage yourself by reflecting on how well you did in a similar circumstance. How did you get over the perceived challenge or your state of mind. 

Visualize #positive images to generate positive feelings and calm your thoughts. #leadfromwithin

Click To Tweet

3. Acknowledge

Never ignore your emotions. Be aware, acknowledge and find ways to get over it. For me, taking a walk, engaging in meaningful conversations (with myself or others) to foster understanding or even venting out to a friend or my family helps. Take steps to generate optimism.

4. What can you do?

Everything that happens to us or with us is not within our control. However, the way we show up is within our control. EI can be achieved by any of the above methods and by deep breathing. Deep breathing is difficult when your mind is agitated and it takes a conscious effort on your part to do so. Once you start that deep breathing, you essentially are able to control your Amygdala hijack and thus think rationally.

I have four more Wednesdays when my day will start as early as 3:30 am and I have told myself no matter how my previous day is, I will be present and enjoy the two-hour session and not stress about it before.

How are you controlling your mind?
What are some of the ways you try to calm your mind in moments of overwhelm and stress?

Until, we control our mind that which is within our self, our #perception of our external world will merely be a #reflection of it.

Click To Tweet

A key question you can ask of yourself is, why am I doing what I am doing ?

For one-on-one coaching, speaking, training and/or workshops let’s connect.

Share this:

  • Tweet
  • Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window) Email

Like this:

Like Loading...

Filed Under: Attitude, Coaching, Communication, Habits, Health, Lead By Example, Lead From Within, Leadership & Personal Development, Life, Mindfulness Tagged With: deep-breathing, EI, emotions, Leadership, leadfromwithin, Mind, optimism, stress

The Power Of Asking The Right Type Of Questions

25 February 2015 By Lalita Raman Leave a Comment

I’m often asked as to why I took to coaching and leadership training and development. My personal growth and development has come most, when I have been asked the right challenging questions by others and of myself. During the 20 years of my Corporate life, I have seen others in my team grow and develop when the right questions have been asked of them.

Questioning is undoubtedly a powerful leadership tool and one of the reasons I took to coaching. I love connecting with people, inspiring them to do their best, and helping them to grow. Coaching enables me to do that and also challenge my clients to come up with the answers, they require, on their own and in the process assist them to get to where they want to be.

Questioning is a valuable life tool and it is imperative to ask the right questions. Ask questions that enable people to trust you, establish a rapport, anticipate changes, and facilitate their growth and development and of their organizations.

Asking open-ended questions is important and more important is how you ask these questions. Questions asked in the wrong way can shut a person down and can also break the trust and relationship.

Questions with a negative tone or focus aren’t going to give you desired results. 

#Positivity and appreciative enquiry facilitates to establish #rapport and build #trust.

Click To Tweet

The five W’s ,What, Why, When, Why, Who are powerful with the right tone, words and #language. #peopleskills

Click To Tweet

What are the questions to avoid? What are the right type of questions to ask?

1. Who is responsible for this ? Or Whose fault is this?

This line of questioning sets a negative tone to the conversation and seems to indicate that you want to blame someone. It puts your audience in a defensive mode.

A leader is one who takes a little more shame of the blame and a little less than his share of credit.

A better line of questioning to consider is how can we work together to get to our goal or desired results? With the right amount of trust and rapport established, this will help you identify any snags in the process and help you identify and overcome any deficiencies or weaknesses.

2. What is the issue or problem?

And questions along the same line tends to focus on defects and weakness instead of on ways to move forward. As human beings, we need no help in being negative. Questions which focuses on problems are negative and puts your audience on the wrong foot.

What are we doing well? What have we done well so far? What steps do we need to take to improve ourselves ? How can we do better? These type of questions focuses on the other person’s strengths instead of on what went wrong.

3. Have you tried this way? Or how about doing it this way?

These are questions which tends to convey a sense of control from the person asking them. Our brains, according to a lot of studies done by neuroscientists perceive loss of autonomy as a threat and thus creates an air of distrust and negativity.

What do you think ? Or what do you propose? Are there better ways to move forward to desired results.

4. Why not ? Or why haven’t you thought of something similar ? Or why do you think it will work this time

These questions have a condescending tone to it and almost seems to suggest that the other way is better or that you are wrong. It indicates a sense of distrust in your team.

A better style of question to motivate and engage people is

How can we do it better this time? What are some of the ways we can try this time to get the desired results? If we tried the same method this time, how do you think the outcome would be different?

No matter the type of question, the tone with which these questions are asked needs to be positive and one that suggests way forward instead of demotivating and finger-pointing.

Rhetorical questions are great but cannot be used in all circumstances. Questions with a Why are great and you need to be sensitive to the culture, the tone and the situation. What or how are better ways to ask the same question starting with a Why?

Questions can be asked of others and of yourself to move forward, to reflect, to overcome fears and overall for the growth and development.

I have seen clients make the necessary shifts to get the results that they seek and asking the right questions has been a significant contributor to this.

How have you used questions in your life?
What type of questions have helped you grow ?

Share this:

  • Tweet
  • Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window) Email

Like this:

Like Loading...

Filed Under: Character, Coaching, Communication, Emotions, Employee Engagement, Habits, Integrity, Lead By Example, Lead From Within, Leadership & Personal Development, Life, Mindfulness, Relationships, Sales Leadership, Talent And Human Resources Tagged With: coaching, Leadership, leadfromwithin, Powerful, Questions, tone

Five Tips On How To Handle Rejection In Life

18 February 2015 By Lalita Raman Leave a Comment

I walked away from a recent chemistry meeting, with a potential client, not feeling too good. The meeting had gone well, yet my intuition told me that I should probably say no. I didn’t make the call immediately but decided to wait. The following day, I did mention to the person who had put me in touch with the potential client. They said they had not heard back from the client yet and said they will let me know in due course. A week later, I heard back from this person saying that the client had chosen another coach for reasons that the other person was older. Despite having heard a No, I was relieved.

A friend of mine had been working on a proposal for a while and despite the competitive price and the uniqueness of her proposal, she did not win the deal. She was dejected and frustrated not so much for hearing a No but not knowing the details of no.

Life goes on and despite the rejections that we face in different aspects of our life, we need to focus on moving forwards and not waste our time immersing ourself in the sorrow that results from the No.

#Life goes on and there is no pause button just because you are #disappointed, #dejected and #frustrated.

Click To Tweet

I know it feels horrible to be rejected, and for you to encourage yourselves and move forward, it is essential to bounce back and move on.

Rejection happens for one or more of the following reasons

1. Timing may not be right on account of budget constraints or there is no need at that point in time.
2. The person may not have the authority to say yes and they probably don’t want to disclose the same.
3. They don’t want to commit just as yet.
4. Lack of clarity about what you are offering and how it can satisfy their goal or need. Reluctance to express this complicates things further.
5. They are not interested in the product or deal or what you are offering but they are testing the waters and the market for the different ideas that exist.
6. Different perspectives, opinions, values and ethics.
7. They are unable to build a rapport and connection with you as yet to take the relationship forward.
8. They are envious of you and don’t want to see you progress.

In most of the above cases, people are not willing to directly communicate either the “No” or “the reasons for the No”. They are not willing to ask questions or be candid about budget constraints or acknowledge that they don’t understand all aspects of the deal or the project or what you are offering.

What can you do if you are at the receiving end of the rejection ?

1. If it didn’t kill you, it will make you stronger

This is the attitude to adopt to bounce back. It is natural to feel disappointed but there is no use sinking under that rejection because you will get caught in a negative vicious cycle.

2. What have I learnt from the experience

Every experience teaches you something as long as you are willing to let go of the negativity and experience the learning. Yes, it is hard to practice and still worth attuning your mind to view the experience as lessons learnt. Sometimes, on hindsight, you realize that the No was a blessing in disguise.

3. What, if any, can you do better or different

Not all things work with everyone. Can you approach it differently? What would it take on your part to step out of your comfort zone and use a new perspective. Take support from your family and friends and from those who can be a sounding board to you and enable you to bounce back.

 4. Feedback

When you are made aware about the reasons for rejection, take it as a feedback. You can use this to improve your strategy, where necessary.

Rejection can be viewed positively by looking at it as knowledge and experience gained. You will gain insights towards achieving your end goal. Engage in positive self talk because negativity will cause you more harm than good.

5. Wake up call

Rejection sometimes proves to be a wake up call to change your paths or methodology to achieve the desired vision.

Rejection is Disappointing. It Is Not The End Of The World.

A friend of mine is candid about communicating his no or rejecting something. I communicate directly to people when I have to say no. Be candid and courteous but not blunt.

As a leader, do you want to keep someone hanging out there, without communicating directly or letting them know the reasons?
Are you leading by example by shying away from communicating the real reasons? Most things can be communicated with reasons and are you treating people the way they want to be treated.

How do you deal with rejection ?
How do you communicate your No?

Increase your self-awareness and build your #self-confidence to bounce back from rejections and view #life #positively.

Click To Tweet

Share this:

  • Tweet
  • Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window) Email

Like this:

Like Loading...

Filed Under: Attitude, Character, Coaching, Communication, Emotions, Habits, Integrity, Lead By Example, Lead From Within, Leadership & Personal Development, Life Tagged With: Communication, lead by example, Leader, Leadership, leadfromwithin, life, rejection, Resilience, strategy, tips

5 Creative Ways To “Just Do It”

11 February 2015 By Lalita Raman 2 Comments

“There is no way I can do this.”

“I admire you for being so courageous, I doubt if I ever can be like you”.

How many times have you uttered those words out loud or had thoughts similar to those? More importantly, how many times have these inner thoughts been so loud that they have stopped you from pursuing creative thinking or coming up with fresh ideas?

All of us have these little voices or the inner gremlin sitting on our shoulder, at various intensities at various points of time in our lives telling us we’re not good enough or we don’t deserve what we have got or we are not capable.

These voices of self-doubt or inner critique stop you in your pursuit of excellence and from your growth and development.

How do you face your inner gremlin and tell her or him to shut up ?

How do you unplug your fears and “Just Do It”?

1. Clarity

Clarity of purpose is a great guide to achieving what you set out to do so. That inner guide reminds you of your purpose and why you do what you do. Do you have clarity on your purpose ?

2. Listen

When the little voice is a deal stopper, listen up. Listen to what it is telling you. Write it down and don’t dwell on it at that moment. Walk away. Come back and read it.

3. What is the worst that can happen ?

When you read what you have written, evaluate objectively what is the worst case scenario ? Is there any truth in your fear ? What happened when you faced a similar fear last time ? How did you get over it ? What did you do well ? What lessons did you learn?

4. Truth

Once you have identified the worst case scenario and there is some credence to your fear, ask how can you better from the worst case scenario ? What do you need to do to achieve the desired results and improve from the worst case scenario?

5.Self-Confidence

To enhance your self-confidence, you need to stop worrying and ask yourself how much is the price you are willing to pay for worrying and is it worth it? Self-confidence is built from self-acceptance and by identifying your strengths and achievements in the past. How did you overcome your last challenge?

Get support from a coach or a mentor to assist you in where you want to be.

Your fear and self-doubt is the truth, if you give power to it.

In your pursuit of #excellence and #quality, let go of your fears and #JustDOIt. #leadfromwithin

Click To Tweet

 

Believe in yourself and work towards improving yourself on a daily basis. #leadfromwithin #self-confidence #fears

Click To Tweet

How are you breaking from your fears and doubts and setting yourself on the path to success?

For one-on-one coaching, speaking, training and/or group workshops, let’s connect.

Share this:

  • Tweet
  • Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window) Email

Like this:

Like Loading...

Filed Under: Character, Coaching, Communication, Emotions, Generalizations, Habits, Integrity, Lead By Example, Lead From Within, Leadership & Personal Development, Life, Mindfulness Tagged With: clarity, Coach, coaching, creativity, excellence, fears, Just Do It, Leadership, leadfromwithin, self-confidence, truth. listen

Five Reasons Why CARE Matters

27 January 2015 By Lalita Raman Leave a Comment

We went to one of our favorite French Restaurants, over the weekend. The chef who runs this restaurant is someone who cares consistently about the quality of his food and his customers.

We have been going to his restaurant, which has travelled many places within the city due to the ever rising rents, for more than 10 years. His current restaurant is small and can probably seat about 30 people. I would normally not go to a street where his restaurant resides currently. Yet, I went, only because of the care this chef has shown to his clients over the years in terms of the quality of the food and the service……

A friend of mine remarked in one of my conversations with her that a colleague of hers seems to have gone quiet. Somebody who was enthusiastic and trying to find ways to improve on things had suddenly lost her energy……

You don’t send me messages as often as you used to. What happened? This was one of my friends who asked me this? I got away by saying I was busy. Whilst I was busy, that definitely was not the real reason for not sending her messages as often as I used to. Fact is, I was tired of having a one way communication and decided I shouldn’t and probably somewhere I decided to change the care in that relationship……..

I was in a coaching supervision discussion two weeks back and one of the participants remarked that my client probably doesn’t care. That struck a chord in my mind…..

Care is so important and yet the most underestimated feeling in the business and corporate world.

I deliver sales training and conduct workshops related to sales amongst many other trainings and workshops and it is evident from the various stories that I hear that care, which is imperative in continuing a customer relationship, is one of the most ignored feeling.

Think about it, would you continue to do something with your heart, if you didn’t care.

A #mother’s #love is the true form of #care and it is imperative in the #Business and #Corporate world. #life

Click To Tweet

⇒If you didn’t care for something, you lose interest.

⇒If you didn’t care, you will take everything for granted and become indifferent.

⇒If you didn’t care for a customer, you would not attend to every detail in that relationship and the latter comes from understanding the client.

⇒If you didn’t care, you would probably not try to resolve or suggest solutions to every inefficiency within the organization that you work with.

How many restaurants and businesses do you know which open with enthusiasm and as the business progresses, the attention to detail and little things that matter are taken for granted. In short they stop caring.

#Care matters in #influencing and maintaining a #relationship. #peopleskills #CSR #life

Click To Tweet

As a leader how can you make sure that you continue to care ?

1. Care for the complaints

Complaints are irritating and can trigger a negative vicious cycle. But you need to distinguish between a complaint which is condemnation from one that is genuine and made with the intention of taking the business or company forward. Better still see if you can take care of those little things that matter that no complaints come up.

2. Care for your team and employees

Engaged employees are those who are recognized, respected and cared for by their manager and their organization. Get to know your team because it is the inner view that enables you to determine what is each of their interests and their strengths.

3. Care for them as a person

No matter who you are, be kind.

#Kindness makes a difference to someone’s day. #peopleskills #care #relationships #leadfromwithin

Click To Tweet

4. Care for your customers

Customers are the backbone of any business. Without customers your business is non-existent. How would you like to be treated as a customer or as a person? 

Don’t forget to #care for your #customers. #CSR #peopleskills

Click To Tweet

5. Care because it Matters

Would you like to be treated with care? Would you do anything consistently, if you didn’t care? Would you deal with someone, as a customer, as an employee or as a person, if the “care” aspect was missing?

You, as a #leader can #leadbyexample by showing you #care in who you are, what you do and what you say.

Click To Tweet

Care because we all need Compassion, Appreciation, Reinforcement and Empathy.

How are you bringing “care” in everything you are and everything you do ?

How are you spreading the positivity in care?

For one-on-one coaching, workshops, training, speaking let’s connect

Share this:

  • Tweet
  • Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window) Email

Like this:

Like Loading...

Filed Under: Attitude, Character, Coaching, Communication, Customer Service and Sales, Emotions, Employee Engagement, Environment and Nature, Habits, Lead By Example, Lead From Within, Leadership & Personal Development, Life, Relationships Tagged With: care, coaching, lead by example, Leadership, leadfromwithin, mother, People skills, relationships, sales training

10 Reasons To Be Thankful For

13 January 2015 By Lalita Raman 2 Comments

It is so easy to complain and get into the negative mindset. Over the weekend, I participated in @Kate Nasser weekly people skills chat and the topic this week was “Ending Toxic Attitudes, Interactions, Relationships.”

During the chat there were some interesting insights. Indeed, it is so easy to get into the vicious cycle of negativity and thereafter it is a matter of spiraling down a negative and toxic path.

Negativity may be triggered by someone’s behavior failing to meet rational, logic and emotion, reality is way different from your expectations, your mindset and perspective.

Being #Thankful is one way to break the vicious cycle of negativity and consciously tell yourself to overcome stress.

Click To Tweet

Yes, when you are going through that emotion, you may feel that it is easier said than done “to be thankful”. Yet, it takes a conscious mindset to remind yourself of what you can be thankful for, even in that adverse situation. Try it and experience what happens …..

Be Thankful for

→1. Things that went well (there are several things that go well even on the worst day. You need to remind yourself of those)
→2. Things you did well
→3. Things that failed and the lessons you learnt
→4. Things you didn’t do too well and what you can do differently next time
→5. Who you are. If you are not pleased with the way you are now, you will not be able to make progress and live life fully.
→6. Things you couldn’t do and what did those teach you. Remind yourself of those times you bounced back and showed your resilience.
→7. Moments when you felt you could have done better and the lessons learnt
→8. What you learnt from the loss of someone or something. Loss of someone near and dear is painful and the best way to remember that person is to cherish the good memories. How can you value your time with people who still live in this world?
→9. Achieving what you set out to achieve either fully or partially.
→10. You. You are enough and the day has gone by. There is always more and there will hopefully be another day to explore new experiences.

#Gratitude has a calming effect on your mind and sends a #positive signal to the brain. #leadfromwithin #life

Click To Tweet

It helps your executive center to continue to work in a rational way. We are emotional beings and mindfulness helps to keep our brain calm.

How are you breaking away from falling prey to a toxic mindset?

How do you encourage others to be positive ?

For one-on-one coaching, speaking, training, workshops let’s connect

Share this:

  • Tweet
  • Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window) Email

Like this:

Like Loading...

Filed Under: Attitude, Character, Communication, Habits, Health, Lead By Example, Lead From Within, Leadership & Personal Development, Life, Mindfulness Tagged With: Gratitude, leadbyexample, Leadership, leadfromwithin, life, mindfulness, negativity, positive, thankful

Are You Willing To Remove Your Mask And Be Who You Are?

9 January 2015 By Lalita Raman 2 Comments

During social gatherings or networking meetings, I often meet people whom I think I know and yet I realize that the person I’m interacting with is somebody very different from who they are, if you meet them one-on-one.

I was watching Revenge last weekend and the following reflection by the main character, piqued my interest.

“Just as there are two sides to every story, there are two sides to every person… …one that we reveal to the world and another we keep hidden inside. A duality governed by the balance of light and darkness. Within each of us is the capacity for both good and evil.”

As Hamlet said to Ophelia, “God has given you one face, and you make yourself another.” The battle between these two halves of identity……who we are and who we pretend to be… is unwinnable.

I often wonder why people wear masks and fail to connect with their genuine self.

When you observe children, you notice that they are genuine, un-spoilt and you get what you see. Dogs are genuine and have an uncanny ability to be friendly and genuine. There is no hidden agenda in a dog’s behavior.

Most people associate authenticity with being yourself, walking your talk or being true to oneself. Authenticity, however, goes beyond how you feel about yourself. It is a relational behavior your ability to be comfortable with yourself and connect with others comfortably.

You can be direct and genuine without being rude and arrogant. Using Diplomacy and tact is not about changing personalities and wearing masks.

Each of us, no matter the situation, can be who we want to be. Create a self-awareness and ask yourself if you are being honest to yourself.

I was inspired by the following speech given by MR. RATAN TATA at Symbiosis in Pune, India.

“Don’t just have career or academic goals. Set goals to give you a balanced, successful life. Balanced means ensuring your health, relationships, mental peace are all in good order. There is no point of getting a promotion on the day of your breakup. There is no fun in driving a car if your back hurts. Shopping is not enjoyable if your mind is full of tensions. Don’t take life seriously. Life is not meant to be taken seriously, as we are really temporary here. We are like a prepaid card with limited validity. If we are lucky, we may last another 50 years. And 50 years is just 2,500 weekends. Do we really need to get so worked up? …It’s OK, Bunk few classes, score low in couple of papers, take leave from work, fall in love, fight a little with your spouse… It’s ok… We are people, not programmed devices..! “Don’t be serious, enjoy Life as it comes”

Life in her journey offers you opportunities in the form of hurdles, challenges or defined pathways.

The Choice is up to each of us to be who we want to be in that moment of decision.

Click To Tweet

I have in my moments of indecision and conflict relied on listening to my inner guide. My three words for this year’s journey are : Explore, Overcome and Grow.

Are you willing to go on a journey within & connect with yourself ?

In all the masks you wear, are you being honest to yourself ?

Click To Tweet

Share this:

  • Tweet
  • Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window) Email

Like this:

Like Loading...

Filed Under: Attitude, Character, Habits, Integrity, Lead By Example, Lead From Within, Leadership & Personal Development, Life, Relationships Tagged With: diplomacy, Dogs, Hamlet, honesty, Leadership, leadfromwithin, masks, Ophelia, Revenge

5 Key Ways to The Art of Saying “No”

24 December 2014 By Lalita Raman 2 Comments

Do you face the Fear of
→Losing a client or
→Hurting someone’s feelings or
→Upsetting your boss or
→A bad reputation or
→Being called arrogant and rude or
→Turned away from a deal

Do these fears therefore restrict your ability to say “No” even though that is your most desired response in that moment of decision.

Saying “No” is one of the biggest challenges for most people.

For most, their self- confidence and communication skill is challenged, when they have to say “No”. It causes stress and anxiety and they rather say Yes than No so as to avoid potential discomfort.

However, by over committing, you thin yourself out, leading to stress and overwhelm which in turn can affect your ability to deliver with excellence.

Research from the University of California in San Francisco shows that the more difficulty you have saying no, the more likely you are to experience stress, burnout, and even depression (three things that hinder your emotional intelligence). Source : Forbes

I’ve learnt the art of saying “No”, when required over the years. Despite this, I still struggle at times, with saying “No”, when it comes to some existing clients or in the case of potential business opportunity or with respect to some people.

How do I remind myself about the importance of saying “No”, no matter how difficult it may be? I do so in the following five key ways:

1. Prioritize

Each of us have the same 24 hours given in a day. How we choose to use it depends on us and the priorities we set ourselves.

It is necessary to prioritize because not all the things can be done at the same time or on the same day nor is it possible to please everyone. Value your time. How are you prioritizing ? Are you sticking by it once you have determined what is the priority on that day?

2. Communicate

You may be struggling with the “No” because you don’t want to hurt the other person’s feelings, or you feel it is beyond your comfort zone because the recipient may be your boss or client or someone to whom you have never said a “No”. Saying “No” is not bad, all depends on how you say it.

You need to think about the tone and the words you are going to use to communicate the “No”. If you understand how your stakeholders have been influenced culturally through “the language they speak” , you will be able to articulate the “No” in a manner that does not hurt the recipient.

Be assertive and that does not mean arrogance or being rude. Sleep on it so that you can reframe the way you say the “No”.

3. Are you saying “No” to yourself or other things

In your day how many times should you be saying “No” to yourself in doing some activities or being someone else when you should be saying “Yes” to other things or being your true self.

By saying “Yes” to others, if you are denying yourself something or not doing something else which needs attention, what is the end result. Is it desirable?

4. Finding Your Yes

It is important to know what you should be saying “Yes” to. #assertive #communication

Click To Tweet

 Start by focusing on the Yes. This will enable you to remind yourself of your priorities and thus say “No”, when required. How will you say “No”, if you didn’t know what you should say Yes to.

5. How is it beneficial ?

Would you rather say “No” instead of keeping somebody waiting for a response? Often, when people have to say no to a proposal or a candidate, they avoid the situation and choose not to respond or hinge on being cagey and vague. By doing so, you are giving unnecessary hope to someone. Think about the benefits of saying “No”.

The Art of Saying “No” is about your #mindset, your thoughts and the #communication skill to translate it into a capacity to act.

Click To Tweet

 It is about being articulate and perhaps even persuasive by saying “No”.

What are some of the ways you are saying “No”?

What stops you from saying “No”?

For one-on-one coaching, speaking, workshops, and/or training, let’s Connect

Share this:

  • Tweet
  • Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window) Email

Like this:

Like Loading...

Filed Under: Character, Coaching, Communication, Emotions, Habits, Integrity, Lead By Example, Lead From Within, Leadership & Personal Development, Life, Relationships Tagged With: assertive, Communication, Forbes, lead by example, Leadership, leadfromwithin, No, People skills

« Previous Page
Next Page »

Recent Posts

  • A Tribute to a Courageous and Strong Woman….My Mother.
  • 6 Fences To Build For Yourself
  • Little Things That Matter In Life.
  • 6 Antidotes To Apathy
  • What Does It Take To “Lead By Example”?

Subscribe to my Blog

Co-Author of An Inspiring Book

Transitions, Lalita Raman

Buy Now

Transitions, Lalita Raman

VISIT MY WEBSITE

Categories

  • Animals
  • Attitude
  • Brand You
  • Character
  • Coaching
  • Communication
  • Culture
  • Customer Service and Sales
  • Discrimination
  • Emotions
  • Employee Engagement
  • Energise Your Leadership
  • Energize Your Leadership
  • Entrepreneur
  • Environment and Nature
  • Generalizations
  • Habits
  • Health
  • Hike
  • Idiosyncracies
  • India
  • Integrity
  • Lead By Example
  • Lead From Within
  • Leadership & Personal Development
  • Life
  • Meditation
  • Mindfulness
  • Mobile Phone
  • My favorite songs
  • Pakistan
  • Relationships
  • Resilience
  • Sales Leadership
  • self-awareness
  • Social Media
  • Songs
  • Speech
  • Talent And Human Resources
  • Travel
  • Treks
  • Uncategorized
  • Video
  • Video Blogs
  • Violence Against Women
  • Woman
  • Women
  • Youth

Tags

Anger Appreciation attitude behavior Business Change coaching Commitment Communication courage EI emotions Empathy fear Gratitude Health hope Human humility India judgement lead by example Leader Leadership leadfromwithin lead from within life listen Listening Love mindfulness Nature negativity Pema Chodron positive Questions respect Self-Awareness smile Social Media thank you Twitter Values. Women You Matter

Follow me on Twitter

My Tweets

Archives

  • February 2020
  • January 2017
  • November 2016
  • September 2016
  • August 2016
  • July 2016
  • June 2016
  • May 2016
  • April 2016
  • March 2016
  • February 2016
  • January 2016
  • December 2015
  • November 2015
  • October 2015
  • September 2015
  • August 2015
  • July 2015
  • June 2015
  • May 2015
  • April 2015
  • March 2015
  • February 2015
  • January 2015
  • December 2014
  • November 2014
  • October 2014
  • September 2014
  • August 2014
  • July 2014
  • June 2014
  • May 2014
  • April 2014
  • March 2014
  • February 2014
  • January 2014
  • December 2013
  • November 2013
  • October 2013
  • September 2013
  • August 2013
  • July 2013
  • June 2013
  • May 2013
  • April 2013
  • March 2013
  • February 2013
  • January 2013
  • December 2012
  • November 2012
  • October 2012
  • September 2012
  • August 2012
  • July 2012
  • June 2012
  • May 2012
  • April 2012
  • March 2012
  • February 2012
  • January 2012
  • December 2011
  • November 2011
  • October 2011
  • September 2011
  • May 2011
  • April 2011
  • March 2011
  • January 2011
  • December 2010
  • November 2010
  • September 2010
  • July 2010
  • June 2010
  • May 2010
  • April 2010

[footer_backtotop]

Copyright © 2007–2025 Lalita Raman, Transitions Intl Limited

%d